imaginary

there are things that i imagine
they're just sitting in my head
i try to lure them into the daylight
but of this they always dread

i place them trinkets in the hallway
i sing them songs that soothe the soul
i tell them stories i remember
but they still just will not go

so here's a theory that i've got now
and it's one that's sure to work
i'll drag those bastards into the daylight
then they'll have no one left to irk

4:36 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

dream (part one)
Current mood: indescribable
Category: Writing and Poetry

You look at me longing for an answer. Longing for me to whisper those words you've waited for all these years. My hand trails lightly across your face and lingers there for what seems like forever. Your eyes do not meet mine, can not. I am the undoing of you and at the same the very thing that can save you. Your hand reaches up to lightly graze my skin, igniting a fire deep within me. But I must hold back, must not give in to this feeling.
Your eyes beg me to do the unthinkable. To give myself to you completely in a different way. It is not my body you long to touch, it is my soul. My very heart that beats and aches for you. The looks you give me melt away the ice that surrounds it and i fall toward you. Beckoning you to catch me. Take me away. What is this feeling that threatens to drown me and leave me here...not alone...unafraid.
"Stay."
Those are the only words I need as I open my eyes to find no one there. Nothing but a picture of you in my arms. I am not your undoing. You are mine.




Listening to *Don't Believe* by SEETHER from their album Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces

7:24 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

change...take one
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Blogging

why are feelings so bland? they always leave a bad taste in my mouth. when all we're all looking for is to belong. but sometimes that's where i fall. i do not belong. i know nothing of this word, because i have always made myself an outsider. i'm tired of feeling that way, so i've been making an active change. trying to place myself in the timeline of my life.

i want to look back on my life and have no regrets. as of now i can not do that. so i am trying to make amends and reach out to old friends...but after a few years people change and grow apart. i myself have two beautiful children and a wonderful husband. but those are the only changes in my life. so here i am...not being the same. being one with change. if you don't believe me...you will.

Always the Villian
Never the Angel

-Bridgett

4:46 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

in the dark

i've been waiting for something to fuel my fury,
fuel the rage inside my heart
I've been sliding on broken glass
watching you crawl out of your skin in the dark

surrounded by ice cold hatred
looking for the words to scream at you
only to have you blankly stare through me
there's nothing more for you i can do

i've been here a million times
stuck on february second again
and again i'm burning to the core
happiness i can't feign

i've been waiting for something to fuel my fury
ripping away at the sorrow in my heart
i've been swallowing all our glass
watching you crawl out of your skin in the dark

9:16 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

random thoughts as of now
Category: Blogging

why are people evil...i keep asking everyone but no one knows.

i still have the theme song to Wonder Pets in my head...but the words are all wrong

today someone asked me what i do all day and i said the same thing

it confused them but it's okay

i don't like people...but i like my friends. they're not people

they don't understand it either.

i'm bored...and i have to be at work in 6 hrs...but i don't really care

do you think smurfette was the town call girl

if so what would the call sex.....smurfing

sounds funnier than dirty

tellitubbies are evil...or gay...maybe they're gay evil little smurfs.

nah...thats not it

this has been the ramblings of the day....stay toon later at the same crazy station

10:55 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

phobia
Category: Writing and Poetry

I just realized that I’m trapped here,
wrapped in phobias kissed with dark.
i’m a little more than confused now
and just don’t know where i should start.

There are people i am missing
and they’d never even know.
There are things i want to say,
but am too scared of how they’d go.

You see i look strong on the outside
but I’m trembling deep within.
I’m not shallow like i should be,
I’m just trying hard to keep my strength.

See these words that i keep saying;
they just bounce off of my heart.
And I’d never know the difference,
if i didn’t know where to start.

So I’ll just sit here with this pencil,
and I’ll close my eyes to rest.
Now all that there is to do now
is try not to hold my breath.

7:08 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

with perfect love and perfect trust
Category: Writing and Poetry

I stand here shivering as the wind blows;
wrapping around my body like pins and needles on a silken scarf...
Piercing my heart as my breath catches and rips away a beat.
It is not enough to ache for happiness,
I must yearn to have it back with me...
Back where it belongs

I close my eyes and dream of you;
perfect ending to my day.
Not enough to keep my sanity...
just enough to make some of my emptiness float away.
Yet before I go back to where you can not follow,
Into the depths of my mind where even I can get lost.
I will mummer these words and hope that one day you will hear them:

I am the grass that bends around your words
and you are my wind that gently touches my very soul
Without you I am hollow
dropping like a feather in your breeze
And I will let you go without a fight
for you will always be with me
And I will always hold you closely
With perfect love and perfect trust

Blessed Be

12:25 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Are You Jewish?
Category: Blogging

I was commenting on a friends blog about how I use "God Bless America" as my swear word. When I automatically starting thinking about work today. As most of you may or may not know...i am not a Christian. *GASP* The Horror!!!

Well not everyone at work knows this. So today when I went into work on this "casual" friday that we were having around my neck I have my Pentagram. Not even thinking about it one of the people I work with comes up to me to ask me a question and the first thing he says is, "I didn't know you were Jewish."

At this point I have no idea what he's talking about. Wearing my necklace is an everyday thing for me, so I don't even realize that he has never seen it. Of course I answer no...and he says, "but you're wearing a jewish necklace." And at that moment I look down and notice that he has seen my Pentagram. I proceeded to explain that I am in fact NOT Jewish but am Wiccan. And the next words he uttered were shocking.

"What's that?"

I proceed to try to explain what I believe in and he says, "So you don't believe in God"

And I said..."Not yours"

Needless to say he was even more confused when I walked away and nearby a friend was trying not to laugh.

So am I Jewish?

The answer to the question is NO!!!!

I am a little crazy...but that's nothing new

8:04 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

today....sigh

wanna know what i did today....taxes!!!!

thats right boys and girls...taxes!!!

*sigh*

oh to be me

i know i know....try not to be jealous...we can't all be as excited about what we do.

*sigh*

oh well

6:19 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

why MPs are dumb
Current mood: angry
Category: Blogging

tonight i got pulled over while in the car with my husband and my two daughters. the MP asks if we know why he pulled us over. we say no....the reason: we were going 30 in a 25. yes...i know what you are thinking... are you serious? what the fuck? even...huh? To make matters worse we sit in the car which is cold because the weather is kind of chillly for 30 minutes. my oldest daughter Alex now has to pee and has begun to entertain Ariana to keep her from crying.

when he gets back i ask if going a few miles over automatically gets you a ticket and he says you can only go 4 miles over and you were going 5!!!! so i ask why don't they give warnings for those of us who don't know that since off post is 5 miles over..and he says we have a "NO WARNING POLICY" and a "NO SPEEDING TOLERANCE"

1 FUCKING MILE!!!!!

so now we have to pay a 60 dollar fine and probably go to traffic court...and all i wanted to do was go home....oh and it was 9 pm...with no one around

The moral of this story is MPs are fucking morons so go the speed limit and watch out...1 mile could get you too.

-Bridgett

10:17 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Soul (repost)

Eyes are not windows
They are glass that cut the soul
Looking through my memories
Distant...
Lost...
Cold...

Sweet lullubies of sorrow
That rest behind your gaze
My heart I gave you once upon a dream
My heart you did not save

Yes eyes have been called windows
That glimpse upon the soul
So deadly stalker in my dreams
Whose was the last you stole

7:08 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

ponderings of a strange mind

i've lost the words i want to say
they're stuck here in my heart
i've lost the meaning of life
circling in the dark

i've lost the light at the end of the tunnel
i've lost the rope pulling me to safety
what have i lost
what have i left to gain

these are the questions i've asked
out loud?
never....
i'd rather ponder my existence alone

alone in the confines of myself
where there is no one but echoes
echoes of the ocean i call me
echoes of the air around me

and again you may say why these questions
again i'll answer...
without my questions
you'd never have answers

2:55 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

out
Current mood: blah
Category: Writing and Poetry

there's a million questions to ask
a million answers swimming away
too many minds to read them from
at least that's what they say

there's a silence ringing in my ears
screaming out for me to speak
there's a screaming placed on mute
it's asking for those answers that I seek

in a world like this of wanderers
there's no room to place my doubt
in a world like this with no answers
all we really want is out

8:29 AM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

big bad wolf
Category: Writing and Poetry

9:16 AM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

daydreamer
Category: Writing and Poetry

9:11 PM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment