Some big news.

 Well i have been putting this off for a while out of superstition....

I'm going to have a baby, As of right now i am about a day shy of being 14 weeks pregnant. If anyone is interested you can view the sonogram here...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=dqzzQHEoefM

Also as of this tuesday i will no longer be a resident of My beloved Louisiana for atleast two years. I'm going to go and finish school so that i can better support the baby and i. I'm pretty sad about leaving on one hand. But on the other i know that i need to do whats best right now, and that is moving somewhere that i have the help of family until i can finish school. So there it is my life completly changed spoken in less than one paragraph. And just so you all know i am very happy about this child coming into my life. Those of you whom i know personally have my number, give me a call anytime. I'm sure i will be back as often as i can for visits, can't stay away to long you know.

Sam

2:37 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

To those loved and lost, and to those whom i owe my life.
Current mood: nostalgic

 I just wanted to say thank you to all of the people in my life who have actually stuck around. You know who you are. You have made me realize that even though most people will move on and maybe even forget that your in existance that there are a precious few that will never forget you. A year ago i thought i had found a family that i had never had before. People who cared, i loved these people with all of my heart. But it seems that i was wrong. Out of all of the new "friends" that i think i have made, and all the good times spent and memories conceived through many late nights together, that in the end the friends that i am left with are the ones that i have had all along. It is amazing really. Out of the nine to ten friends that i made in the last year of my life i have kept one. Maybe two. And what i mean by kept is that person actually cares as to whether or not you are still breathing. But in all truth this is all very easily forgiven. Who can blame someone for being entralled with their own life? Who can blame these people for not wanting to do anything to make the friendships that they have had for much longer any harder to keep than they are. All and all i can say that yes i have loved many. And it seems lost most that i have loved. But on the other hand there are those that i know will be there until the world is no more. I want to wish these lost friends the best in life. I want to say that i hope they have those precious few that will be there for them. That when they are needed the most their friends will be by their sides.I have come out of this year a different person. I have many to thank for that growth. We live and learn, isn't that right?

6:39 PM - 9 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Night Travel (reposted per request)

walking on the line we travel.
        Our destination shines in the horizon.
 the cracks in the pavement seem to follow us down the way.
 sharing in the light of the stars that look on us.
smiles
blue and green dance and sway together.
i feel the warmth leave your hands.
navigating the turns
avoiding the voices that surround.
time dancing outside of our circle
parting we say our goodbyes to breeze and her sweet smell
left alone i surrender to my thoughts.

10:55 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Strange.

 Don't really know what to say here..
Don't really know how to feel anywhere..
Anyhow.. I'm here. And i think i'm back..
Bad or good I know not..

-Sam

Currently listening : Lateralus By Tool Release date: 15 May, 2001

12:45 PM - 4 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

To all of you.
Current mood: content

 I felt that this needed to be said here.. where everyone that it's for can see it.

I have never been happier.
Never in my life have i been surrounded by so many amazing people that care about me. I feel like the luckiest person in the world. To all of you guys, and you know who you are.. you all mean so much to me. Your family. And i mean that. I'll love you all forever. Casey, Ty,Ashely, Greg, Shanannan, Rachel, Sheezy, Marshall, candy, you all are family forever.  For better or worse. And to Remy, You mean more to me than you will ever know. For all of you i am so thankful. I just wanted you guys to know that.Shit ok i'm done being mushy i promise.

Currently listening : Alkaline Trio/Hot Water Music [Split CD] By Alkaline Trio Release date: 22 January, 2002

11:57 AM - 6 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

The Neverender
Current mood: grateful

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on

Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little BIT of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer EACH DAY
Still I can't SAY what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer TO ME
So close that I can't see what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't WANNA scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

Currently listening : Songs for a Blue Guitar By Red House Painters Release date: 23 July, 1996

2:04 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Call it an Equation i guess. I never understood math.
Current mood: weird

What is this faint feeling
        it's touch running through my veins
       I see it like colors.
     Blues and greens.
               the longing
         The fear
                The smiles
          and the tears
         I am joyous
         And for once you smile back
        It glistens in me
         this feeling
       Time running by so quickly
            My feet touching on the road breifly
       This feeling
                 It's blue
               And it's green
          Where have you been
                       The sky crys for it's own beauty
               This is the time
                  This feeling
                I am floating
             like a sea lapping inside me
           Sparkling
                    How many times
            Do you know?
                            I can almost see
                  in reach
             i stretch
                           i quarrel
             This feeling

Currently listening : O By Damien Rice Release date: 10 June, 2003

7:19 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Samda
Current mood: cold

Won't you let me catch your fall?
Won't you let me lend a hand?
Those lonely eyes have seen it all.
But love's too blind to understand.

Cause you don't know what you have
Til your everything is gone.
You need someone to show you
How to live again.

I wanna be there when you're feeling high.
I wanna be there when you wanna die.
I'm gonna light your fire, I'm gonna feel your flame.
I wanna be there when you go insane.
I wanna be there when you're feeling down.
And I'll be there when your head is spinnin 'round.
Gonna be your lover, gonna be your friend.
I wanna be there til the end.

You wouldn't know that I was there
Cause I have been there all the time.
And if I had my way I'd hold you in my arms
And leave this madness all behind.

Cause you got so much to give,
But you throw it all away.
And all you've got to show for
Who you are is pain.

And I've got so much to give,
If you'd only let me in.
I'm gonna take the time
To show you I'm a friend.
You'll believe in love again.

I wanna be there in the pouring rain.
I wanna be there when you call my name.
Gonna light your fire, I'm gonna feel your flame.
I wanna be there when you go insane.
I wanna be there when I'm outta town.
And when your whole damn world is crashing down.
I'm gonna be your lover, gonna be your friend.
I'm wanna be there til the end.

Cause you don't know what you have
Til your everything is gone.
You need someone to show you
How to live again.

And I've got so much to give,
If you'd only let me in.
I'm gonna take the time
To show you I'm a friend.
You'll believe again.

I wanna be there when your baby cries.
I wanna be there when they tell you lies.
I'm gonna light your fire, gonna feel your flame.
I wanna be there when you go insane.
I wanna be there when your nights are long.
And when you're feeling like you don't belong.
Gonna be your lover, gonna be your friend.
Gonna be there til the end.

I'm gonna be there in the morning.
I'm gonna be there in the night.
I'm gonna be your lover, gonna be your friend.
I'm gonna be there til the end, yeah.

11:31 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

FUCK.
Current mood: frustrated

the young stale memories of play the role to your part
librarian find me the pole the one that kicks your head in
with my own time role your own innocence by
grab on to my sleeve the one that grabs at your ankle
debate to understand that we all have a flaw
then fail to represent your life as you know it
god grant you one wish to turn back the time... correct and create

me and my star matthew good night
you know by law when you'll be forgiven
maria my star matthew goodnight
you know my lord when you'll be forgiven

so they pulled your confidence down with those verbal discrepancies
now and then you'll gain what they've lost through a challenge of unpronounced
pain is only a pulse if you just stop feeling it
you might be able to use the very thing that makes us up

wait, now, here when will you believe?
me i'm merely asking you to help me when did i say to murder?
wait, now, here, please hear me out
time consumer, time consuming, consume me

11:20 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

......

Across the floor in the hand of where we drove the drill
a cautious ear to the mouth of your confession
think of all the things we put him through
in the face of his god would he tell the truth?

still recorded were the words that dribbled out his kiss
when eyes go blind in this man of what could once become
sever the limbs off his torso in sleep
and burn what remains so the world may now see
no longer...will we wait for your answers
back to the hell where you've come from
think of all the times you've once had
write them in a letter that says goodbye

you'll listen to reason while you're face down in the dirt
you'll stomach the hurt and break for him here just how much he's worth

slowly discarded were the remains of his lonely youth
among the alley where the dwellers scare to notice
picture a young boy in pieces and streets with leveled malfunctions
no name to be called redeemer
We'll fix him restore him...with the love is no other
think of all the things you did before
write them in a letter that says reborn

you'll listen to reason while you're face down in the dirt
you'll stomach the hurt and break for him here just how much he's worth

8:34 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment