I’ll See Your Fop and Raise You a Dandy
Current mood: renewed and refreshed

I’ll preface all this by saying I used to blog quite a bit when I first created this account.  It was mostly a bunch of ranting and raving about significant others, eyebrows, vanity...you know, all the important things in life. 

Know that if you’ve ever read any of my bulletins then this blog (and the blogs to follow) will be an elongated version of one of my bulletins, if not a random account of the happenings throughout my days.  I love to tell stories.  Here’s one:

I sat outside the monster grocery store conglomerate (in which I work) yesterday afternoon after an early work day and tried to figure out how I wanted the rest of my day to pan out.  The day’s newspaper crossword sat in my lap.  I was glad my work day was over and I relished in the fact that I didn’t have to return to work again for another twenty-four plus hours.  Good times.

Peripherally, I noticed a woman teetering towards me.  I turned and faced her, gave a comforting, "welcome to my home", smile and continued looking at her because I noticed she was headed straight towards me.  Her hair was a wispy white that seemed to float in static orbit around her thin, liver-spotted face.  She was wearing a black cowl-neck sweater with multicolored zigzags running across her chest.  It was tucked into what HAD TO HAVE BEEN a twenty year-old pair of faded, black stir-up pants that sunk ever-so-comfortably into her white athletic high tops.  "Damn the bench for being so long!", I thought.  Her eyes moved up and down my cross-legged frame as she cracked a,"Would you look at THIS!", yellowed grin (she had the teeth of a chronic coffee drinker).  As disarming as her approach was, I couldn’t help but think she was judging me, and given the next statement I was assured she was.  "Are you one of those flower types?", she asked.  My eyebrows arose slightly as I cocked my head and gave a crooked grin - holding back a chuckle or two. 

"Did this old bitch just read me?!", I thought amusing myself with ideas of this woman sitting with a husband, in a balmy den expounding upon her visit to the grocery store and running into a nice homosexual - all while her husband polishes his tuba (that’s not a euphemism for anything I really did imagine an old guy, huge honker with gin blossoms, cigar-in-mouth and a beige-colored jump suit polishing a tuba). 

As I sat in silence, still smiling comfortably, she asked again, "Do you like flowers?"  Red glasses, somewhat tight clothing for a male and pink sneakers have to scream "homosexual", so I shrugged and said, "Sure.  Yeah, I suppose I do." 

She was with the Austin Botanical Gardens (I don’t think that’s the official name for the gardens, but I’m too lazy to look it up and it’s my story, so just go along with it) and was wondering if I’d like to buy three dollar tickets from her to attend some big, botanical party with musicians and...flowers...this coming Saturday. 

I would have bought a ticket if I carried cash.  She was just so sweet (even though her sales pitch WAS a bit insulting).

No cash in pockets, I apologized and said I’d check it out anyway for the full price of five dollars at the door(s).  She humored me with a smile and shrunk away. 

I sat there for a few minutes after she left and thought of all the stereotypes we think of when we think of black people, jews, lesbians, asian lesbians...MIDGET lesbians, etc., and couldn’t help but think that the images and jokes we create will never go away especially when there are people like me who find them all too amusing. 

No longer insulted and full of judgement, I lifted my over-priced bottle of water, tucked it under my left armpit, uncrossed my legs, stood up and allowed my strut to lead me to gayer pastures. 

8:50 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Wow!
Current mood: pensive

I came and went with this blogging business.

I may or may not be back...but one word describes the whole of what's happened these past few days, weeks and months:  Wow!

Hello, Austin.

Currently listening : Chop Whip Grate Liquefy By Monsterland

5:36 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment