90210 relaunched a new show this week on the WB. The New Kids on the Block premiered a new video this week. Even the two Coreys are back in the limelight (sort of.) Will Don Johnson please team up with Glenn Frey again and do a TV movie? Or at least a Pepsi commercial.
Speaking of NKOTB, or how they are now known as they are in their 30s, New Kids on the Block; I just saw the video for their new single cleverly titled, "Single." Yep, they're trying to relate to the kids by being completely ambiguous, naming their song something that could be sung by anyone. Did you hear the effects on that song? What's his face was completely unrecognizable, vocally speaking. It could've been sung by anyone.
Here's the video
Nice to see someone giving Ne-Yo work since Michael Jackson impersonating never hit the fever pitch Elvis impersonating did. What I think is odd is that when making a song for a 5 man group they STILL decided to feature another singer. Seriously? You couldn't have given Ne-Yo's part to one of the two New Kids who were barely in the video? What's his name and the other guy must've felt like that guy from N'Sync I can't remember the name of. You know, the ugly one...or am I thinking about The Backstreet Boys. No, that entire group was made up of "the ugly one," that's right.
You know what the music industry should do? Make a super group with the pop band members we actually gave a crap about. That would be huge! Then make a group consisting of just the "5th" members no one really cared about or needed. Wait, isn't that just 98 Degrees? That 5th member never really mattered, did he? Sometimes the whole group didn't (I'm still looking at you 98 Degrees.) Only with The Jackson 5 and New Edition did all five members matter, but with most bands the 4th and 5th guy stunk. I think the 4th guy has it worse, though. People at least make jokes about "the 5th guy," and he can go on to work in real estate or round out the cast of a Reality TV show. The 4th guy gets no love for being hated...he's just hated.
I've gotta say, 98 Degrees sucks. They only had 3 members and there were STILL two guys no one gave a crap about. Those are terrible odds when you're just a 3 man group. You'd think they would've had higher standards when choosing the members since it was just a 3 man group. What's that? There were 4 guys in the group!?!? See? I have no recollection of a 4th member. Poor guy. I'm sure he's somewhere sweeping up hair at a barber shop a 5th member owns.
I just realized that I will never fully be able to complete my bucket list. We all have to agree that a major part to accomplishing a bucket list is physically crossing things off of the bucket list.
Well, take a look at my Bucket List!
1 - Write two movies 2 - Write at least one book 3 - Marry the girl of my dreams (Tina Feeeeyyyy) 4 - Lose my hands in a tragic dolphin accident 5 - Die
I hate to blog about a blog. It's like a legitimate news source reporting that Drudge is reporting something.
But this was too funny to pass up. And yes, I love started my sentences with a preposition. It's how people talk, people. (English nerds are soooo fed up right now over this entire paragraph, guess what, no punctuation)
With the way technology is these days, you really can't drink yourself to a stupor then go sleep in a gutter. Actually, you shouldn't do that anyway. Who are you? Edgar Allan Poe?
Maybe it's not super funny, but it did beg the question: What is it with girls? I'm kidding but I have honestly heard a girl say that she would be uncomfortable if a guy asked, "Can I take you out to dinner sometime?" She would rather a guy say, "Hey, wanna go grab a bite to eat?" Even if he were asking her out on a date. The girl in this video disagrees with that approach while most guys would say, "You don't want to scare away a beautiful baby that's ready to party." Which means don't come off over-eager...the whole reason guys say, "Hey, let's hang out tomorrow." You see? A catch-22 of sorts.
Granted, I understand that a fella should be kinda chill and not make it seem like it's a big deal but given her example, how would anyone know they were being asked out? How would the guy know he successfully asked a girl out on a date?
I've come to the conclusion that people make things way too hard for everybody. I seriously believe that things would work better if you handed a girl a note that read, "Will you go out with me? Check Yes or No." Hey, people act like 3rd graders as it is, might as well treat them as one (good news is you won't go to jail for it.)
True story. I was going to write a blog last week about how we, as a nation, haven't heard from or about Paris Hilton in awhile.
I decided not to because I didn't want to jinx it. It's like mentioning to a pitcher in a middle of a "no-hitter" that he's struck everyone out.
But then some ad wizards working on John McCain's campaign decided to compare Barack Obama's pressence to the "star quality" of Paris Hilton.
So I'm pissed. It's made Paris Hilton one of the top searches on Google. She even has a video on Funny or Die spoofing McCain's ad.
So now everybody's talking about Paris Hilton again. Great job, Senator McCain. This is a perfect example of the fact that he won't know how to deal with the terrorists.
What says, "the terrorists have already won" more than Americans talking about Paris Hilton ad naseum?
They actually say that this is commemorate the September 11th tragedy. Why would you want to observe the tragedy over the people that died or New York?
Maybe it's just the voice over guy's salesmen voice that bothers me. It makes me feel like I should be buying something to clean my rug.
I believe everything, even bad things, happen for a reason. Please tell me 9/11 didn't happen so they can sell this.
Maybe I'm just frugal but I don't need to spend $24.95 to "remember" or "observe" that tragedy.
Al Sharpton says he is very disappointed in Jesse Jackson's use of the N-Word amid new reports that Jackson used the word during his infamous appearance on Fox News recently. Sharpton would demand that Jackson be fired from his job but JESSE JACKSON DOESN'T HAVE A REAL JOB.
If you have things you have to get done during the week, your mindset on Monday is, "It's Monday. I'll do it later." Tuesday is similar, "Ah, I've got all week to do it. It's just Tuesday."
If you wait until Thursday or Friday it's the end of the week! What happened to the week? Where'd it go?
Wednesday sucked it all up evidently!
I don't know what it is about that one day but as soon as it passes you're at the end of the week. No time to finish anything. It's too late! It's Thursday. There's no time. There's never any time. I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so...you know the rest.
Sorry. Lost track there. But that's what happens on Wednesday, you lose track. It's like you have 2 days in one. It's even worse when you think it's Tuesday like I did all day yesterday. I kept wondering what everyone's fuss was all about, it was just Tuesday. We have the whole week ahead of us. Then I realized, nooo - it's Wednesday. Crap. And now it's Thursday and I still haven't started any of the things I said I would. There's really never any time, Jessie Spano. Never any time. Ooo, No Doze. Looks like there's some time afterall.
Why Did it Not Have to be Snakes?
Category: Blogging
I'm sure all of you know someone that is afraid of something. Like a bug or animal or clowns. It's not uncommon. Even Indiana Jones is afraid of snakes.
Most of these fears are rather irrational. It's a spider, it's just sitting there. You're way bigger than it. Why are you afraid? You don't know, you just are.
I half-kiddingly would say that I'm afraid of whales? Why? Because I think that's funny to say. When the hell am I ever gonna come across a whale? It's just random, but as time went on I started to actually think it would be extremely scary to come across a whale.
I'd imagine myself swimming out in the deep sea - because it's so likely to happen - and as I'm paddling along I notice this MASSIVE structure next to me. It's the size of a building only it's not a building. It's not a boat. It's ALIVE! I'd lose my stuff. I mean, can you imagine how scary that would be!? To be next to something that massive!? You'd be so small next to it. It would be one of those moments where I feel like I'm looking down at myself and I can see the difference in my size and the whale's.
I force myself to overlook that whales do get beached. That I could very well swim far enough out to come upon a whale that's gotten too close to shore and calm down by reminding myself that I will never be swimming in the deep sea. It just can't happen.
I decided that I'm going to write a book. A book consisting of things everyone should've been told when they were younger. "Younger" being of high school age.
The idea came to me after being outraged with certain surprises in my life. Things that everyone has to deal with at some point but no one ever mentioned that we would.
I'll mention a few of the things that got under my skin the most.
Since the peripheral aura surrounding our parents and adults, that aura which gave us the notion when we were kids that they were perfect and could do no wrong, wore off by the time we reached our teens, we should've been told that the average adult is a complete and utter moron.
Nothing will stop stupid adults. Not even having everything you could possibly want. Take Mutt Lange for instance. He and Shania Twain are getting a divorce. Why? Well, even though he was super rich, talented and able to snag Shania Twain despite his being unnattractive and his nickname being "MUTT" this moron cheated on her! Seriously, how dumb do you get? Not only was a guy dumb enough to let people nickname him "Mutt," he was also dumb enough to cheat with her less attractive best friend. Did he honestly think he wouldn't get caught? It's her close friend and his secretary! If you're going to be dumb enough to cheat on someone as desirable as Shania Twain at least have the smarts to cheat with someone equally as desirable. Brad Pitt moved from Jennifer Aniston to Angelina. Who did "Mutt" cheat with? Some average looking lady that can't possibly be a nice person considering she had an affair with her best friend's husband. I mean come on! Why not Mindy McCready before she got crazy? Or Faith Hill? I guess because lightening doesn't strike twice, but therein lies the very reason he should've held on to what he had no business being able to get in the first place. That guys not just dumb, he's an asshole. Everyone experiences living through something so poigniant that it stays vividly in our memory until we die. For me they are; The day the Challenger exploded, The OJ verdict, Family members dying, 9/11 and the first time I realized that most adults are friggin' idiots. I won't go into the details of this incident but I will tell you that it involves Applebee's, Chicken Fingers, eavesdropping, junior league soccer and a girl exhibiting more intelligence and common decency than her mother.
I don't know what it is, but there's someting about sports that changes people. Which brings me to the next thing we should've been told; That most people don't show common decency, but if everyone did just show the most basic level of common decency we'd be better off. Seriously, what is it about sports that makes adults so indecent and so dumb that once their kid steps foot on any court, rink or field logic and common decency go out the window? How else could one explain why two fathers fought each other at their kids little league hockey game resulting in one's death? At least one of them, and I'm leaning towards the murderer here, had to be insanely dumb. Nothing could possibly have happened at that game that would require one guy getting beat to death in front of a bunch of kids and other people that didn't seem to think anything of great significance had happened.
There will always be stupid adults. No matter how many cops get caught on tape using excessive force.
Not everyone needs to be told this but I would've liked it if someone had mentioned to me that only Mormon men are allowed to marry multiple women at a time. It's not such a big deal but if someone had told me that sooner I would've at least avoided the deep disappointment I experienced after getting excited to hear that American Idol's Brooke White was Mormon. My heart grew three sizes that day before Wikipedia provided the pin that burst my bubble of a heart. Screw you Utah! And I never would've voted for Mitt Romney anyway!
Only guys need to hear my next suggestion but I suppose women should at least be warned. Fellas...you're going to get hairer as you get older. I know you started developing hair in a bunch of places your last couple of years in high school then it just stopped throughout college. But it's not the end. And no, it doesn't wait until you're as old as your grandpa and no it doesn't just attack your eyebrows. I swear I'm not looking forward to that either. No, it'll be your neck and your back mostly. I know you think it won't happen to you. You knew the hairy guy in school and thought you just dodged the bullet since you weren't as hairy. I mean that guy's got to shave his entire neck! We chant, "Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!" when he steps on the basketball court on account of "Teen Wolf" being one of our favorite movies. "That won't happen to me, though. I got my hair already," right? Sorry guys. You're gonna reach your mid-to-late 20s and, well, you're just gonna get hairier. You're just gonna get hairier.
