I don't blog here much. I don't really like the MySpace site very much, and besides, none of my blogging clients support MySpace. So the kinds of things I would normally post here go to my LiveJournal blog. In particular, a post I just wrote about Art might be interesting to some of my friends here.
It's amazing how sad love can make you feel. Love is supposed to make you feel happy, right? And it can; gloriously, deliriously happy. But it can also make you feel absolutely miserable. It's crazy. It's particularly crazy for a 37-year-old man. But apparently it doesn't matter how old you are; if you allow yourself to fall in love, you're going to feel like a schoolboy sometimes, and that isn't always good.
I haven't felt like this in years, and it's stupid. I feel hurt, and sad, and rejected, and lonely, and what's worse, I don't really have much excuse to. By all (well, okay, many) outward appearances, my life is going great. I've finally got my degree, I've been able to take basically a year off work or school, I know what I want to do with my life, and I even think I've finally got my head on straight enough so that I'm going to start moving toward my goals.
So what's the problem?
See, I knew I shouldn't have done this; I didn't get on here to spell out all the niggledy details of my life; I just wanted to opine on how I felt, and leave it at that. But here on 'paper,' it doesn't make any sense without context, and besides, once I start to write, the rational part of my brain takes over, and I lose some of what I was feeling.
I just...I've always wanted a big love, a crazy love (isn't that a lyric?), this huge thing that would turn me over and flip me inside out. Not that every day has to be like that (though that would be nice, probably...what's that Sade lyric? "Every day is Christmas, and every night is New Year's Eve"...there're so many songs on this subject that lyrics just keep popping up in my head and probably in my writing), but I would like a lot of my days to be like that.
I think I've given the impression to certain people that it's about affection, per se. It's not. Sure, I love affection; it's great. Touching, feeling, loving, being together. But even I can't stand an infinite amount of affection; yes, I'm a touchy-feely person, but after a certain point it starts giving me the heebie-jeebies. It's about feeling, connection, passion, love. It's about two souls intertwining, coming together, sharing the same thoughts, feeling the same things, breathing the cosmic aether together. It's about feeling that intense passion for someone, to always want to be with them, even if you probably wouldn't choose to always be with them if you could. It's floating ten feet in the air because your love loves you. It's that beautiful insanity that fills your substance with joy.
This is what I want. This is what I've been searching for since I was a teenager.
And I know it's possible, because I've had it—for moments, for days, for weeks. Once, when I was 17, for months. I've been in love (or had a crush—which feels pretty much exactly the same at the time) for longer periods, of course, but it's been unrequited in one way or another.
But I'm starting to feel like I'm asking too much; like I'm wanting too much. That all this is just greed, and I should get over it and be satisfied with what I've got.
On December 16, 1773, American colonists, disguised as Indians, snuck aboard a British merchant ship and dumped tons of tea into Boston Harbor, and act of protest against British tyranny that rallied the colonists and helped spark the American Revolution.
Today, the 234th anniversary of the Boston Tea Party, believers in liberty nationwide are rallying behind Presidential candidate Ron Paul, the only candidate who supports the Founders' view of a nation conceived in liberty, bound by its Constitution, and free from government oppression. Today, December 16th, donations are pouring into the coffers of this freedom fighter, as supporters hope to ignite a second, peaceful Revolution, to restore this country to its proper track.
As of this writing (4 p.m. Eastern time), more than $3.5 Million has been donated at <http://ronpaul2008.com/donate> today. We are hoping to exceed the one-day record of $4.3 Million. Please donate as much as you can possibly afford, and forward this message to every person and mailing list you know.
WHO IS RON PAUL?
Ron Paul is a 10-term Republican Congressman from Texas. He has never voted to raise taxes. He has never voted for an unbalanced budget. He has never voted for a federal restriction on gun ownership. He has never voted to raise congressional pay. He has never taken a government-paid junket. He has never voted to increase the power of the executive branch.
He voted against the Patriot Act. He voted against regulating the Internet. He voted against the Iraq war.
He does not participate in the lucrative congressional pension program. He returns a portion of his annual congressional office budget to the U.S. treasury every year.
Congressman Paul introduces numerous pieces of substantive legislation each year, probably more than any single member of Congress.
A medical doctor who has delivered over 4,000 babies, he is known as "Dr. No" on Capitol Hill because he votes against any legislation that violates the Constitution.
Dr. Paul is that rarest of all rarities: an honest politician.
Congressman Paul is the only major-party Presidential candidate who believes in the Founders' ideal of peace, free trade, and limited government. He deserves your support, and now is the time to give it. <http://ronpaul08.com/donate> (purchases from <http://www.ronpaul2008store.com/> also count)
Also, once you've donated all you can, there is one more thing you can do: Visit two houses of people you don't know and hand out literature. See <http://www.infiniteronpaul.com/?page=Tea> for details. And don't forget to visit <http://www.ronpaul2008.com/states/> to do what you can for Congressman Paul in your state.
Please do all you can to restore liberty and the rule of law to America! Support Ron Paul for President!
-- "I am for preserving to the states the powers not yielded by them to the union; and for preventing the further encroachment of the executive branch on the rightful powers of congress. I am for a government rigorously frugal and simple, and for retiring the national debt, eliminating the standing army, and relying on the militia to safeguard internal security, and keeping the navy small, lest it drag the nation into eternal wars. I am for free commerce with all nations, political connections with none…. I am for freedom of religion, and for freedom of the press. And against all violations to the Constitution to silence our citizens" - Thomas Jefferson on his positions for the 1800 election.
Friends
Current mood: optimistic
Category: Friends
Anyone close to me knows that there have been a lot of major changes in my life lately. Starting with the fact that I finally (at long last!) graduated from college, and then the fact that THAT fact, and the graduation invitations and party that came about because of it, led me to reconnect with several friends, some of whom I had not spoken to in years, and THAT fact leading to enhanced closeness with some existing friends, ultimately resulting in me achieving as close-knit a group of friends that I, in many ways, have ever had.
It's wonderful. But it is the consequences of this last fact that I wish to speak about. Having such incredibly good friends that believe in me, love me and are constantly there for me is having an unexpected effect on me. I'm somewhat more confident in myself, which is perhaps not that surprising. If I find myself in situations where I'm not very well liked or appreciated, which happens occasionally, instead of feeling bad about myself or getting somewhat depressed or disheartened, I find myself thinking, "Screw these people! I have several of the awesomest people I've ever known thinking that I'm one of the awesomest people they've ever known. Who am I to feel bad?"
But as great (and new!) as that is, it's more than that. For the first time I can remember, excepting those moments of peace and relaxation that come after much rest and thought, I am not constantly feeling like I'm doing the wrong thing. That I am, on some level, a wrong person. Now don't get me wrong. It's not all gone. But I feel like there's something equally strong challenging it, and that's new.
I've always had unusual views. I've always questioned things, refused to accept things I did not understand, and developed alternative views that, very often, did not fit in with the mainstream view of things. When I was young, I often shared these views with others, and was almost universally told that I was wrong and/or foolish. I grew up holding views that I fully and truly believed were probably wrong, but could not give up until I saw how they were wrong. Then I read The Fountainhead, and it was like someone said "Yes" to me for the first time in my life. My views weren't necessarily wrong, someone—someone intelligent, who had thought these things through—agreed with me, thought the same way I did about many things (don't think you can figure out how I think and feel by reading that book; it's a bit more subtle than that). But it was only one person, and a person who was patently wrong about some of the things she believed, so while that (and the effect of her writing in general) boosted my confidence level significantly, it wasn't the be all and end all.
Nonetheless, though I no longer believed that I what I believed was incorrect, I found I could not rid myself the nagging fear that, since what I believed was so different from what traditional morality said was right, I was on some level fundamentally bad and wrong and someday the boogieman would finally jump out at me and make me realize that the things I believed and did were terrible, horrible, wrong, and harmful to all that I held dear. What's worse, I couldn't dismiss this feeling as solely leftover conditioning from childhood. It was that, certainly, but there were some philosophical considerations that made this scenario at least somewhat plausible. This may sound odd to my freethinking audience, but consider this idea as a starter: If traditional morality is what it is, then it is the way it is for a reason. Certainly, much of traditional morality is contradictory and perhaps even nonsensical in some places, but it has been tried and tested for hundreds, even thousands, of generations. There are many problems with it, and much of it is outdated, but it was created and modified in order to safeguard the existence and well-being of society. Anyone attempting to tamper with that structure runs the risk of ignorantly mucking things up and running afoul of the very dangers that that morality is trying to circumvent—whatever those may be. So it is extremely unwise to start trying to change traditional moral precepts before you understand why they exist to begin with. I have done a lot of work in this area. The problem is how do you know that you fully understand why a particular rule exists? You can't, really, not for sure. You can construct a plausible story as to why it came about and what it's for, but there always might be other reasons you simply don't know about.
I've spent too much time on this subject already; this is a topic for one or several long posts (which won't appear here anyway; my philosophical posts are at Genius/Idiot). The point is that, partly because of this sort of reasoning, I have, except in moments which lasted maybe a week, been unable to shake the feeling on some level that what I believe and am trying to do was bad and wrong.
Until lately.
Like I said, it's not all gone. But apparently, the difference between believing something yourself and having a small group of people believe along with you is monumental. And frankly, they don't even really know what I believe, fully, yet. It's more that they believe in me. And not blindly, just because they like and love me. No, it's that they believe in who I am, in my mind, in (most importantly) the way I think, in the fact that I am challenging these things, and in the reasons that I am doing it.
1. A pirate does not ask for directions. He relies only on his gut feeling, a compass, or a treasure map.
2. Parrots are the preferred pirate companion. Monkeys are an acceptable substitute, unless they fling their feces at people. Then they are an awesome substitute.
3. When fishing, a pirate uses either a sword, a knife, or his bare hands. Use of a hook is only acceptable in the event the pirate is missing a hand.
4. Pirates shall always wear boots, except in the case of a peg leg. Then one boot is acceptable. Flip-flops are right out.
5. Pirates do not cry, except in the case of the loss of a shipload of rum.
6. When describing the size of a treasure, a pirate is required to exaggerate by at least 130%. Flowers are not treasure under any circumstances, unless said flowers are made out of gold.
7. A pirate shall never wear lipstick, nail polish, or capri pants. Actually, that kinda goes without saying.
8. No pirate shall discuss his feelings, unless his feelings include gutting a man from stem to stern and spilling his entrails.
9. A pirate should always remove his hat in the presence of a bartender.
10. During a swordfight, swordfighting insults are required. In the event both participants are still alive at the end of the fight, the participant with the superior insults shall be declared the victor.
11. No pirate shall ever wear a "fanny pack".
12. All foods prepared by a pirate must include rum, grog, or beer. Boone's and other "Wench Punch" is prohibited.
13. A pirate may never compliment another pirate on the softness of his hands.
14. No pirate shall wear a bracelet or a necklace, unless it is the tooth or tusk of an animal he killed. If in the presence of cannibals, a necklace is acceptable camouflage, but only if said necklace is made of human toes.
15. Pirate Law: Dousing oneself in beer is a perfectly acceptable replacement for a shower.
16. No pirate shall drink Grog out of a glass. Grog is only to be consumed either straight from the barrel, or from a mug heavy enough to to kill a man.
17. Three-cornered hats, headbands and bandanas are the only acceptable headwear for pirates. Fedoras, bowler derbies, baseball caps, mickey ears, top hats, sombreros, or anything with lace and flowers will be removed from the vessel-- head included. A grace period of one minute is allowed for hats looted from a tailory.
18. A pirate shall never wrap presents. The only thing a pirate gives is a bludgerin'.
19. Pirate Law: A pirate does not use the word "Fabulous". Ever.
20. No pirate shall attend a movie with less than an Arrrr rating.
21. Only a pirate is capable of killing another pirate. If you are not a pirate (let's say a ninja) and wish to challenge a pirate, they have a word for that. Corpse.
22. Pirate Law: "ARRRRRRRRRRR..." is a perfectly acceptable answer to any question.
23. A pirate does not "go shopping". Unless by "shopping", you mean "killing".
24. Peglegs must be made of timber or some other suitable wood. Plastic, ceramic, porcelain, or metal peglegs are utterly unnacceptable, simply because it complicates the use of the phrase "shiver me timbers".
25. Real pirates have chest hair. If you cannot grow chest hair, you may be a cabin boy.
26. Under no circumstances is a comb-over an acceptable pirate hairdo.
27. No pirate may ever change his shirt because it is "wrinkled". A pirate may only change his shirt if it is completely soaked in blood.
28. When drinking, Pirates may sing. "Fifteen Men on a Dead Man's Chest" is preferred. Kelly Clarkson songs are not allowed.
29. No pirate shall ever drive a minivan, unless he drives the minivan into a tavern, for the purposes of looting barrels of rum from said tavern. Upon completion of this task, the minivan is to be burned. No exceptions.
30. No matter how hard it is raining, two pirates may never share an umbrella. Pirates do not fear rain.
31. If circumstances demand a career change, a move into real estate brokerage or tax collection shall be considered a lateral move and said individual may keep their pirate status.
32. A pirate does not snuggle with an animal, unless he is trying to snap its neck. But I guess that wouldn't really be "snuggling".
33. A pirate may never wear another man's clothing, unless he first kills that man.
34. Two pirates must never share a bed or a hammock. It is perfectly acceptable for one pirate to sleep on the floor, or on a pile of treasure.
35. Pirates do not wear eyeglasses or bifocals unless they are looking at a treasure map, and even then they are allowed only a monacle. Any comments about "Mr. Peanut" while wearing the monacle are prohibited.
36. When setting out on a voyage, a pirate does not pack a suitcase. He is only to bring what he can carry under his arms, or what his wench can carry on her back.
37. A pirate does not mow the lawn. Lawns are for landlubbers.
38. Lifting or removing one's eyepatch is extremely impolite but is not considered an insult. It's just kinda gross. Likewise, one should never remove another pirate's eyepatch, except with a sword to the face.
39. Pirates never use the words "fresh" or "feelings," and certainly not together (as in "I have that not-so-fresh feeling").
40. A pirate must never visit a tanning salon. If he is not already tan enough from searching for treasure, he hasn't been searching hard enough.
41. While creativity is encouraged during any barfight or battle at sea, pirates may only use the following types of sword; falchions, scimitars, rapiers, and particularly long knives. Katanas or any other Ninja sword are strictly forbidden, unless the Pirate rips off a Ninja's arm and hurls the arm, and attached Katana, as a projectile.
42. No pirate shall ever sit on a toilet seat, for any reason.
43. Kidnapping is an acceptable substitute for killing, but only if it is for the purpose of plank walking at a later time.
44. When swimming, pirates do not dive. They cannonball.
45. Cannoneers aboard a pirate vessel are not allowed to use hearing protection of any sort. No matter what the OSHA regulations say, if ye can't stand bleedin' from the ears, you have no business being a Pirate.
46. A pirate will never wear a patch that is any other color than black; unless it's halloween. then they can wear a patch with an eyeball painted on the outside. Polka dots are not permitted under any circumstances.
47. Female pirates are allowed some exception to rules concerning hygiene and garmentry, but must make up for it by using twice as much profanity.
48. Hooks are the only acceptable hand substitute. However, they may not have secondary attachments such as screwdrivers, bottle openers, corkscrews, or nail files. These are Pirates we're talking about, not Inspector Gadget.
49. A pirate's diet consists mainly of meat. If at sea, and meat is not available, shoe leather is an acceptable replacement.
50. Pirate Law: You can't spell pirate, without "irate". There's a reason for that, so don't even try.
51. No pirate will ever, ever raise his pinky when drinking any sort of beverage.
52. Pirate Law: When choosing clothing, even if it looks dirty, or smells dirty, it is clean.
53. A pirate may ride in a rowboat, if traveling to or from his ship. Use of a Kayak is only permitted if used for cannon target practice.
54. When drinking rum, the only thing a pirate adds to the rum is more rum.
55. The official Pirate religion is Pastafarianism.
56. No pirate shall ever play wiffle ball.
57. Under no circumstances does a pirate speak with a Ninja, unless he first decapitates that Ninja and uses his head like a sock puppet.
58. When at the office, answering the telephone with "Arrrrrrr" is perfectly acceptable for pirates. Other acceptable choices are "Avast!", and "Ahoy Matey!"
59. A Pirate does not read poetry, unless said poetry is scrawled on the wall of a bathroom.
60. All women are to be referred to as wenches, with the exception of female Pirates, who can be referred to as "lass".
61. Pirates do not clean up, except when gold falls out of a treasure chest.
62. Spilling rum is not acceptable, except in the act of "pouring some out for dead mateys".
63. A pirate may tell any tale of swashbuckling without being called on the details, as long as at least 51% of the story is true.
64. A pirate may never shave below the neck. Shaving above the neck is allowed, but only if the pirate shaves his entire head. In the presence of cannibals, a mohawk is acceptable.
65. No pirate may do the arm movements for "YMCA", or engage in country-western line-dancing.
66. Pirates do not say "please" or "thank you". The phrase "Arrr, I'll probably kill you tomorrow" is an acceptable alternative for "Thank you".
67. Should the ship's bow have a carving of a naked wench, mermaid, or something of the like, crew members should not touch it. Feeling up a wooden statue is unbecoming of a pirate.
68. Pirates do not "IM". The only instant message allowed is a sword through the chest.
69. Dental Hygiene for Pirates is not a priority. Should there be occasion, however, strong rum or salt water can be used as mouthwash. Anything "minty fresh" is strictly forbidden.
70. Pirates never, ever obey laws. Period. Ironic, I realize.
A political test that actually reflects my real political viewpoint. For years, I considered myself a libertarian. But I have since realized that no, I am a liberal, in the true sense of the world. I have no wish to smash the state; I just wish it to serve the people, which only a minimal state can do.
For the record, I retook the test from a libertarian viewpoint, and it came out Anarchist. Which is true; all libertarians are anarchists, but not all anarchists are libertarians.
Your Score: Liberal
You scored 28 Equality, 78 Liberty, and 35 Stability!
You think liberty is important both for yourself and for all of humanity. You respect others and think it is important that everyone be given the opportunity to make decisions for themselves rather than have authority figures tell them what is best. The autonomy of every person is important to you but you think there are times in which personal action needs to be limited. As such you recognise that there is a role for government as long as it depends on the consent of the governed – this makes parliamentary democracy important to you.
You prefer the role of government in economics and society to be small. In practice you will tolerate public sector activity as long as it is efficient and allows you to get on with your life. You are likely to advocate for both a predominantly free-market economy and a cosmopolitan and permissive culture.
For information on liberal political parties worldwide see here (but note that this international also includes Progressive and Moderate and Establishmentarian parties). If this is too bland for you then try the Libertarian on for size.
In response to 50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex: Found this laying around OkCupid. 's pretty good. I don't agree with all of it, but it was obviously written by a pretty wise woman (yes, I'm convinced it was a woman. Guys don't write like this).
****NOTE***** THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A WOMAN.....
The Politics of Fucking aka 50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex.
1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.
2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.
3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up.
4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault.
5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.
6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for you.
7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down our throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it.
8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that shit, but I'm pretty sure they need counseling.
9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you.
10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.
11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He's about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.
12. Not shaving your legs. Im pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.
13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don't want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that shit if you want him to spend any time down there.
14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.
15. Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads.
16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall".
17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High.
18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, its his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.
19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.
20. Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. Theres an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.
21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt.
22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn't always easy. Help a brother out.
23. Undressing in the dark. If youre shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.
24. Refusing to get on top. Theres no reason men should have to do all the work.
25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.
26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's your body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.
27. Being too afraid to guide your partner's hand when he's touching you. Don't like the way he's doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it.
28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't. Its your choice to stop, but don't look all fucking surprised when he's confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?
29. Refusing to let him take control. So your a feminist. Big fucking deal. Letting him call the shots doesn't make you any less of one.
30. Refusing to take control. Its ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility to start things all the time.
31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.
32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them.
33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess.
34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.
35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.
36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.
37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters.
38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3 some. Its the American dream. (I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick interjection. One request for a 3 some is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference).
39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.
40. Nails. Its one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. Its another when you snag the goods with a claw.
41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen. Thats the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and cant jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.
42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.
43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know its not working, he's not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.
44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.
45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved before hand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.
46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They'll wash.
47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all its cracked up to be.
48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it.
49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he's probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn't, get off another way with him. He's still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "Forget it" and rolling over are not ok.
50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order.
Sometimes I wonder how things are going to be when I become who I am meant to be, and realize that no one has helped me to get there. That I cried and called and screamed for help and no one answered, or perhaps they said, "Yes, I'll help...later." How will it be when my friends realize that I am not indebted to them? That I owe them nothing, not even emotion?
Some might think that that would be a good thing, that then we could stand together as equals. And it might sound that way.
But why would I? Why would I have any especial wish to share myself with these particular people, when they have not shown any willingness to help me/us achieve my/our goals? Am I expected to do it all myself? If so, then I will reap all the rewards myself.
I am not afraid that I'll be angry. However angry or upset I am now, I know I won't be then. No, I'm afraid that I just won't care; that I'll be detached from those who claim to care for me now. It seems to me that that would be a loss...to me, and presumably to them as well.
Currently
listening
:
New Beginning
By
Tracy Chapman
Release date: 14 November, 1995
sad
relieved
hopeful
optimistic
amused
frustrated
