bored

so yeah pretty much i'm just bored right now. it's midnight on a friday and half the people i live with are doing homework. i probably should be but ssshhh!

i got super sick like a week ago. i went to the er but they just said it was probably food poisoning. boo! i hate food poisoning!

oh! i ate some awsome fancy cheese today! my godmother sent me this awsome gift basket. it probably cost more than it should have, but it was awsome to get stuff i would  never treat myself to. it was my first gift basket from a company that makes them. how fun.

so i guess i havent really written about anything in college yet. i live with 2 friends, my boyfriend, and 2 guys they know. we started feeding a stray cat so now we leave the window open and she comes in and out as she wants. it's been raining so she's been spending most of her time inside. i named her spooky and she's this cute fat-cheeked black and white cat. her pattern looks like she's wearing a really long coat. we wuv her! i made her a ghetto cat toy out of a broken knitting needle and a piece of yarn. she loves it though.

that's probably the high light of my suite life. i changed my major from psychology to creative writing and i want a minor in gender studies. i'm proud to be female.

i have been so painfully homesick. a lot of the school is going home for thanksgiving and it just made me so sad to remember what i'll be missing. i havent seen my parents or my cousins for so long. it makes me so sad. or geary and his family! i went there like 2 thanksgivings and i would have continued if i still lived in san francisco. i usually go to my boyfriend's family's house. it's sweet of them to invite me, but it's not the same as staying with my own family.

meh. no moping! it's been saturday for 15 minutes and i should be enjoying myself. have a lovely evening.

oh. and i dont know if anyone still reads this, but i was thinking about posting my creative writing class assigned stories. it would be nice to have outside input. not from english majors but from people who read for fun and know what they like reading.

the end.

Currently listening : The Very Best of Alien Sex Fiend By Alien Sex Fiend Release date: 27 February, 2001

12:04 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

italy, bitches

yeah so im leaving for italy 2 days from now. i'll be there about a month. its cool cuz my cousin is coming with me so ill have someone to speak english with while im there. im doing all the last minute packing and stuff. im also bvracing myself for some family drama going on over there. well, whatever, ill have fun either way.

ok bye.

Currently listening : Apparitions By Hungry Lucy Release date: 01 August, 2000

3:03 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

summer
Current mood: anxious

hey. summer has been cool. nicodemus came to san francisco with me and it's been really nice having him here with me. i'm kinda bummed that he's leaving soon, but he has to go back to washington to be with his family. he's also studying .net stuff so it's probably good that i wont be around distracting him. i'm still gonna miss having someone to cook for and watch movies with. oh well. I have to get ready to go to italy anyway. we're gonna be there a month and i probably want to look into summer clothes and a new swimsuit. i have one i like and i don't want it to break or something while im there.
as much as i like being home, i kinda miss the college life. i love being with my mom, but i like the comfort of not having to watch my language or be quiet at late hours. y hay otras cosas. tu sabes. oh speaking of my inability to speak spanish, i'm pretty fucking screwed for that class. ok for those who might read this and not know a lot about me, i got mono at the end of last semester. i was already struggling with my spanish class, then i couldn't get out of bed for a while. it was just shitty timing. it's never a good time to have mono, but it's really hard to rest and try to catch up in your classes at the same time.
so anyways, spanish. i just got an incomplete (which means i have more time to finish work i missed or to make up a test i missed). my teacher assigned homework that he didnt collect, and he also assigned online homework on quia.com. i had done a little more than half the work i had to do.(related issue: i had finished a bunch of quia work, and then because i signed up wrong, it deleted everything i dad and i had to start over mid-semester) so i was on my way to catching up before i got mono. then i stopped so i could prepare for finals. i planned on finishing the online work over the summer. i just checked, and the website said i couldnt do anymore work because the class had finished. in addition to this bad news, it says i got a 0. i know for a fact i did more than half the work. a 0 is not more than half of 217 points. i emailed my teacher and i'm waiting for a responce.
poor guy. my spanish teacher is also my adviser and he had to go through so much shit for me because i got mono. i couldn't go to classes and i was afraid of failing. it was so hard to be sick and still do all the work i needed to do. the week you pack up and leave is the same week as finals, so i was studying, trying to recover from mono, and trying to pack up all my shit before the school kicked me out. those 2 months of having mono in school were probably the most stressful months of my academic life. i am so glad it's finally over.
i like college though. it's so much better than high school. even if there are still stupid people, there are plenty of smart ones to counter the dumb comments. it's also a lot more liberal. i'd like it more if it were crazy liberal, but it's fine the way it is.
i'm probably going to blog a lot more when i'm bored and nicodemus is gone. if you actually read this, you should respond so i don't feel like i'm talking to myself.

7:05 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

update

yeah. So I haven't written in a while and I feel bad. I don't think I know anyone who actually read my page, so it's not too bad.

Update!

So yeah I like college. It's pretty fun. I'm getting my grades in a few weeks so ill see how I did. I hate grades. Honestly, I learn so much from my classes, but I suck at taking tests. I panic unless it involves writing an essay. Like in my music survey class, I got as on all the concert reports, but i'm pretty sure I failed at least half the tests. Lame.

I'm a dj on the school station. It's fun, now I use that as an excuse to be a bitch about the music I like. Yay for being condescending! I'm always trying to find new bands though. I feel that it is my duty to have a disgustingly eclectic music library to choose from. I'm working on it. My boyfriend has some kind of connection to club djing, so if I get better at public speaking and machine usage, maybe I could dj at a club or something. The only problem is that not many clubs want industrial or "goth" music. I mean a lot of the angsty stuff I play kinda overlaps with electronica, so I could always be an angsty rave dj or something. We'll see. I don't even know if I would be good at something like that. I mean there are people who do nothing but see whets happening on "the scene" and frankly I don't know where the angsty scenes are hiding. I am from san Francisco and ive been "punk" shows and whatever cuz one of my friends was on the scene, but never "goth". its so silly. ive been listening to angsty music since i was like ten, and all my bands ive had to find on my own.

i dont know if id like to hang out on a scene though. people can be too judgmental. if i look to angsty im being tacky, if im not angsty enough, im an outsider. silly silly angst. and you know what, fuck you people who say you dont care what other people think. im sure it would be fucking boring as hell to go to a goth club alone without people talking to you. i feel awkward dancing by myself just because im not comfortable enough to really get into it. whatever though.

woooaahhh tangent!

xmas was fun. i got a lot of hello kitty stuff because im a consumer whore (and how!). i knit scarves for three people. im so old. i knit obsessively to keep myself from being bored. yay college! without a tv with cable in the dorm, i find other ways to keep busy...like learning to knit. i also made hemp jewlery for a while. i dont really like how hemp stuff looks though. i baught black hemp and angsty beads though, so im sure ill have fun. bailey and i are planning on weaving matching collars with bells in the front so we'll jingle when we bounce. cute! someone will shank me, dont worry.

one thing nice about being home is the ethnic food. san francisco is full of latin people, asians, and europeans, so the ethnic food has to be good for the ethnic customers who know better. in washington the only good mexican food i found was like $15 with a drink. sweet fuck! san francisco has so many little taco places for cheap flavorful joy! i also missed the bus system. in tacoma the busses stop running around 8. how fucking rediculous. 8? then im skrewed if im away from campus and the last bus passed already. its constantly drizzling so it kinda sucks to walk long distances. yay san francisco bus system! now that im 18 i have to pay $1.50 though. that kinda sucks, but at least the bus takes me where i need to be. i might go to portland with nicodemus for like a day and a half. i dont really want to though. i think it would be more fun during spring break or sometime when i could stay longer. the way he has it planned, he would pick me up from the washington airport, ill drop off my big bags at his house, then we drive to portland and come back a day later. its just so rushed. i wont see portland in a day. i do wanna go eventually though. then i can meet his sister.

Currently listening : Ruined and Recalled By My Ruin Release date: 22 July, 2003

6:40 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

distraught
Current mood: discontent

so everything is going fine here and stuff. like i have friends and whatever. i just got really homesick. i miss my friends.
im afraid that ill go back and that we'll all be too different to get alog like we used to.

i need a geary here. i miss having someone to tell everything to. like there arent any people here who i could tell something and have them forget about it ten minutes later or just not care enough to tell someone. everyone here has been friends for at least a year already. i just wish i could hang out with my friends sometimes. like i know there is no way in hell i could replace my san francisco friends and i would never want to either. fuck that. i love mama and geary and brian.

isnt it funny how the only time i ever want to write in here is when im sad. the rest of the time im too busy being happy. i guess its cuz when im sad i dont always want someone with me but i still want to tell someone about it. its not too bad. its just like...oh. yadadimean? i dont need to cry but its just like something is pulling down on my eyelids and relaxing my facial muscles.

i cant wait to have my show tonight. its the last time i have someone to help me so imma try really hard to do it all myself until she corrects me.
i wanna call sean. i havent talked to him in weeks.

Currently listening : Serpentine Gallery By Switchblade Symphony Release date: 19 September, 1995

9:33 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

la universidad
Current mood: sick

yeah. so im in college now. i cant get over it. it just feels like a camp or something. i thought it would be a lot different.
everything seems fine though, i mean ive made a few friends so yay. i found a gay! then theres this other guy that i think has a fling with my roommate or their just good friends or something. he never said that he was gay, but i am almost willing to bet he's in the closet.

i got sick like an hour ago. i felt bad cuz my roommate had her friends in the room and i kinda asked if they would let me sleep so they all left. i dont wanna like get in the way or anything, but i also want as few people as possible seeing me vomit. checho is picking me up tonight so i can sleep at his house. then at least i can lock the door when i puke and have paper towels and toilet paper (the bathroom on my floor ran out of both).

wow. my feet smell. like a lot. like more than they ever did in san francisco. i have no idea why.

yah know its kinda nice having the room to myself. i dont feel wierd when i have to fart and i can play my music without feelig bad. also i dont have to hear her talk with her friends when all i wanna do is sleep.
grumble grumble. m gut hurts. ive been drinking tea and waiting for checho. i have no idea what it could be. i ate mexican food last night but checho had the same thing plus my leftovers. then im sure half the school ate the same thing i had for lunch in the cafeteria. ugh. i guess its better now than when im on passages (overnight thing away from dorm/checho) or even when i have classes i shouldnt miss.

my RA is so sweet about it though. like tonight isnt even her night to be on call and she still made sure i had anything i really needed and that my brother would pick me up and stuff. she even told me to email her when i got there to just let her know im ok.

ive been kinda grumpy all day. like i havent slept very well the past 2 nights. my bed is the uber comfy cuz i got a mattress pad, but i never wanna kick out my roommates friends or make her turn the light off. itll be fine once classes start. she'll have to sleep too.

hahaha this is so good to have the room to myself. everyone on my floor is partying somewhere so i get to blast My Ruin and no one is around to complain.

so here are the classes im probably taking this year:

some kind of stupid math
some kind of english/writing
spanish second year (i took 4 years of spanish but im retarded)
magic and religion

then clubs im probably joining:
the pagan alliance
gblt club (FIGHT THE POWER!)

i wanna get some kinda high possition in one of those. i also kinda wanna dj a night show. like hour of angst or electronica at night. if you do it before like 10 or 12 or something, your songs cant say fuck. thats such a limitation. i dont know many songs that dont cuss.

ok well imma wash my face or something. night.

9:47 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

what up, skank
Current mood: hot

it seems like the past few days have been stretched out. my brother came home from washington which is cool, but im gonna be living near him so im not really going out of my way to hang out. i saw paul oakenfold with maggie. so much dancing goodness. kenneth thomas spun before him and it was pretty cool. paul was friggin awsome though. like, it was just so creative but it had an awsome sound. like some people think that all that electronica, house, techno, trance stuff is the same, but his is unique. it was awsome. so yeah like 4 hours of straight dancing and getting hugged by poeple on drugs with my little asian lover is awsome. the end.

then my family came over the next day for a little party thingy for my brother and i slept at magie's that night. nnooo moooorree alllcooohooooolll! ew we watched a movie the morning after and just seeing people in the movie drinking made me sick ugh ugh gh no more! i dont throw up right away like normal people. ill just be sick to my gut and really paranoid until like 4-5 hours later and then ill vomit. so because of this i didnt actually go to sleep till like 6 am. the next day was fun though. we just sat around in our undergarments and pjs watching tv and playing with her bunny until casey z and daudi came over and we went for pizza. laziest day ever. it was so good.
and yeah, it just feels like its been longer than it really was. or like casey z's birthday wasnt even like a week ago and it feels like a distant memory. in my head she's been 18 for like a month.

i hate being so disoriented. i guess its better than the summer being too short though. itll end up feeling that way once i start school again.
im gonna miss geary. he is really the best friend i could have hoped for. i really hope we dont grow apart because i love him more than some of my family. bwa.

ok bye.

2:59 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

i hate girls so fucking much

all girls do is complain and think about themselves. this is why i like guys better. fucking shit i hate it when someone you trust cant even confront you when they have a problem. ugh. i ...ugh i wanna call someone and yell but it would just be me venting. ugh. thats all. good night.

1:20 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

irritated
Current mood: crappy

irritated

ugh. i want to go out. that was a perk of having a boyfriend. i had someone to hang out with every day. i think the main reason people want lovers is to be someone's first priority. i loved having someone care more about me than anyone else. it was great. i guess that im just too nurturing. like, i want someone to make a sandwitch for. i want someone who asks me to do the dishes and in return s/he will vacuum, seeing as how im afraid of vacuum cleaners. yadadimean? when i think about passion in relationships, i really cant see it happening without the little things taken care of first. two of my friends are dating and are planning on moving in with each other, but they've never even farted in front of each other. her boyfriend is still wierded out by tampons. i dont think i could love someone im so uncomfortable in front of. im not really craving a boyfriend or anything right now like i thought i would be. its just i cant stand it when theres no one to talk to and no one to hang out with. then i have to resort to myspace and www.popcap.com to distract myself. i guess i just dont feel like starting anything new before i move. keep this as secret as a publicly read journal can be, but i tried to kinda date my friends cousin, only i dont know how to flirt so that died. i think that helped me get over moping. i love having a crush. its this drive that makes exchange sweats for makeup and try to keep myself in check. i love that drive. i love giggling everytime i get off the phone with someone im fond of and looking forward to seeing them later that week. i hope i get crushes in college. well i hope i can find someone to love too, but when thats not happening i want crushes. i am so a libra. libras are driven by love and see the world and a rose tinted light. we see the beauty of the ocean even in the poluted san francisco beaches. we like to spew comfort and care and in doing so recieve it. that is me all summed up. if i care about you and you call me at 2 in the morning crying i will invite you over, make you mac and cheese, and stay awake until you are ready to be alone. i am the uber libra. gawd im gonna make an awsome wife. you have no idea. once i practice cooking a little ill be every middle aged single man's dream...ew...maybe that can wait. in the next relationship i go into, id like to be taken care of a bit. i know i cant be too picky considering my looks and charm (or lack of) but i would be very pleased if my next luvah calls me before i have to call. you know who im gonna end up dating? the chubby insecure guy who is really sweet and smart but uber awkward. you hear that chubby? im comin' to get yah! (growl!) ...god im a loser. in other news i got my hair cut today. its the same as it always was but three inches shorter. i can still tie most of it back so im happy. hoorah! also i got a new laptop which came with a free printer and discounted ipod. hoorah! only geary and i havent figured out any password to get wireless internet. its really annoying. like my laptop picks up over ten sources, but all of them require a password. ugh!  if anyone knows how to transport files from an ipod to a computer without saving them in the notes folder, you should tell me.  im still getting used to mac. like its not too hard but i got flustered when i couldnt figure out what the equivalent of "my computer" would be. i figured it out like 2 seconds later, but i hate that "oh crap why'd i get a computer i cant use" feeling. its a cute white macbook. im thinking of a name. my favorite name is Murdoc Falacio Ortenzo, but it doesnt look like a murdoc.   you know who makes me swoon? johny depp. like...i think he is the only famous actor guy who has ever made my heart jolt due to a 2 inch by 2 inch photo of him found in a magazine. im kinda embarrassed. too many people find him attractive and i feel like im following the trend, but ive liked him since way before the pirates of the bla bla bla movies. (the second of which led to me screaming at the screen outraged by the stretched and obnoxious plot) aarrrggg! i can hear my mom still complaining about buying me a computer. she promised me one before i moved and she wont stop complaining! i got a discount, a free printer and a rebate on my ipod!!!! why is she still complaining?! do i have to scrub her floor with my toothbrush or something? what can i do beyond being greatful? ugh! and i think geary forgot to ring up the extended warenty because its not on the reciepts, and my mom is panicking about it. rawr rawr rawr. ugh she just came in and waved the reciept at me and yelled to call geary. i already called him and he's busy, but she is so friggin set on panicking before she knows whats happening. ugh. ok well imma go now. i complain to much.

6:59 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

do people really read these?
Current mood: irritated

A - AVAILABLE: yes
B - BIRTHDAY: october 21
C - CAT'S NAME: murdoc falacio ortenzo. only i dont have a cat
D - DOG'S NAME: we used to have a dog named rocky.
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: geary
F - FAVORITE BAND:too many to choose from

G- GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: bears because you can bite off the head of one and attatch a new one of a different color

H - HOMETOWN: San Francisco
I - INSTRUMENT: i got yo instrument right here, bitch.
J - JUGGLE: k...
K - KILLED SOMEONE: yah totally dude. like thirty million cuz im hardcore man yeah im fuckin wicked cool brah.
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: im going to pismo manana. its suposed to be like half a day drive.  
M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: strawberry

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 1
O - ONE WISH: to have someone
P - PERSON WHO CALLED ME LAST: maggie

R - REASON TO SMILE: none of my socks are white. they all have designs and colors.
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: tell me when to go... shut up.
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: like 11-ish
U - UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME: im one of the mopiest and neediest people youll ever meet ever ever ever.
V - VEGETABLE YOU HATE:eggplant

W - WORST HABIT: thinking abot problems i cant fix
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAVE: teeth...i think thats it

Y - NUMBER OF CONTACTS ON MYSPACE: "You have 185 friends"
Z - ZODIAC: libra
---

1. Where were you 1 hour ago?
costco

2. Who will be your next kiss?
your mom

3. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
a tissue box

4. When is the last time you went to the mall?
maybe one or 2 weeks ago

5. Are you wearing socks right now?
no
6. When was the last time you went out of town?
yesterday

7. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
no

8. What was the last thing you had to drink?
soda

9. what are you wearing right now
nothin but a g string.... boxers, pants, bra, shirt

10. Have you been in a car wash?
no
11. Last fast food you ate?
i ate pizza at costco today if that counts

12. Where were you last week on Saturday?
clearlake
13. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
a brown tanktop

14. When is the last time you ran?
iuno

15. What's the last sporting event you watched?
italy v. germany in the world cup. italy won. <3

16. What is your favorite class?
psychology
17. Your dream vacation?
my own private island with all the people i love

18. Last 3 people's houses you were in?
my uncles, maggies and mine
19. How old are your parents?
56-57

20. Are you in love?
fuck you
21. Do you miss anyone?
fuck you!!!!!!

22. Last play you saw?
wicked

23. What are your plans for today?
go to the doctors and pack my stuff

24. Who is the last person you commented on myspace?
bettie
25. Ever go to camp?
mhm. 6th grade school trip

26. Were you an honor roll student in school?
yes

27. What do you want to know about the future?
how to make it better

28. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
nope
29. Are you hungry?
do you have any idea who i am?...

30. Where is your bests friend located?
um...in san francisco as well?
32. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
28-35

33. Do you collect anything?
children... umm hello kitty crap, and a bunch of tacky stuff like that.
34. Have you ever been pulled over?
i have no car!
35. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
haven't you?...
36.on the rocks?
penis?

37. Do you like hot sauce?
sweet jesus yes

38. Last time you took a shower?
yesterday

39. Who do you have a crush on?
why wont you die...
40. What is your mood?
a little bit cranky and my leg itches.

41. Are you someone's best friend?
i hope so...
42. Are you rich?
compared to who? compared to the starving poverty of india, yes. compared to the people who can afford nice big houses in san francisco, no.

Currently listening : The Essential REO Speedwagon By REO Speedwagon Release date: 10 August, 2004

3:18 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment