Man Woman Birth Death Infinity
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Carlita (thanks!) posted the following Bulletin about the Pregnant Man giving birth.  It made me think.  If she wanted to bear children, shouldn't the Pregnant Man have stayed a woman? 

Oh, wait. 

He did:  no genital reassignment, just a "realignment."  Essentially a bearded lady. 

I wonder if he and his wife want to do it again, parent a little companion, raise two little fucked-up kids instead of just the one. 

Note carefully that these are not two women who identify themselves as such, raising a family within the context of an intimate relationship.  It's two biological women, one of whom identifies as a man in everything but birthin' babies, raising a family within the context of an intimate relationship.  There's your fuckup source right there.

Daddy, where do babies come from?

OK, not really any of my business, but if the guy wants to announce this pregnancy on Oprah, write a book about how now men can have babies, as long as they start out women and plan carefully, well, does any of this make him fair game for chatter?  Is the Springer show next on the agenda?  Do I sound like a meddling ole lady?

Yeah.


----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: carlita
Date: Jul 5, 2008 6:34 PM





Pregnant man gives birth to baby girl

Friday, July 04, 2008

A US man dubbed the world's first pregnant man has given birth to a baby girl in the state of Oregon.


Thirty-four-year-old Thomas Beatie was born a woman, but underwent gender surgery and is legally recognised as a man.


He was able to conceive because he retained his female organs when he underwent the sex change.


Mr Beatie has now revealed that he gave birth to a healthy baby girl on Sunday and plans to write a book about his experience.


A hospital source said: 'The baby girl is healthy and the mother - or father - and baby have been allowed to leave the hospital.'

Some reports suggest that Mr Beatie had a Caesarean section. [ed. note: ya think?]


Mr Beattie announced his pregnancy in April on the Oprah Winfrey show, telling the presenter that he had always wanted to have children.


"I actually opted not to do anything to my reproductive organs because I wanted to have a child one day," he said at the time.



"I see pregnancy as a process and it doesn't define who I am."

Mr Beatie's obstetrician, Dr Kimberly James, told Oprah Winfrey in April: "This baby is totally healthy. This is what I consider a normal pregnancy."

Beatie has been married for five years to wife Nancy.


*  *  *  *  *

In my humble opinion, Nancy is a saint.

Currently reading : Myra Breckenridge/Myron By Gore Vidal Release date: 1987-09-12

12:54 AM - 32 Comments - 24 Kudos - Add Comment

Manual labor
Category: Games

Does anyone play Solitaire by hand any more?  If this



is any indication, probably not too many.  Just people stuck in, say, the Twentieth Century.  The early part, for purposes of this graphic.



There are plenty of other things most people don't do manually any more.



Promoting world peace, for one.



Courtship, for another.

Counting ballots officially turned out to be a toss-up in Florida back in '00, so we'll leave that one out in the manual v. automated sweepstakes.

Some things are much better with equipment.  Digging holes, changing channels when you have a broken leg, brilliant mocking of politicians by the common man.  If I were somehow required to get a tattoo, I'd much prefer it to be drawn with pixels on a monitor to ink graven into my face.  But that's just me.  As opposed to John Candy.



Some things are much better the old fashioned way.  Petting cats, enjoying a roaring fire on a winter night (although I will say the DVD version amped up our Christmas party bigtime). 

And OK, cosmetics.  The left version is how I actually went out last weekend (what was I thinking??).  The right version is how I thought I looked without makeup or product in my hair.



Dear God in Heaven.

In summary, I really don't have anything much to say today, as you've probably surmised.  I can't find any of the playing cards I used to have in L.A. is all.  But it doesn't matter because I do have solitaire on my laptop.  I just can't cheat.

9:53 PM - 30 Comments - 24 Kudos - Add Comment

Nuts
Category: Life

The water is running in the kitchen sink, and it's driving me just a little nuts. 



something like this

I may have mentioned that we have two visiting cats.  Their mom's townhouse is going through a restoration after a fire in another unit, and she's living elsewhere, in a place which only allows one cat per household.  The rebuilding could take six months or more, so her kitty family has been forced into a temporary diaspora.  Spike, the white one, is an angel, always grooming his little sister Pepper and so forth.  He'll bug me bigtime to turn on the faucet so he can sip a bit, so I just leave it on for him.  And yes, I do know about conserving resources and using bowls for cat beverages.

...Oh, goodie.  Mike just came out from the bedroom, turned off the water, then gave me a very entertaining stream-of-consciousness monologue from Edd the cat, who was sitting by himself in the Barcalounger in the living room watching a subtitled and very dense Czech New Wave film from the 1960's.  Turns out Edd is something of an intellectual. 



those are Barry Goldwater's eyes, in case you were wondering.

Also something of a snob:  when a dog came into frame, he turned his head, shut his eyes, and dozed off.

Mike, on the other hand, can't sleep.  He took a heavy-duty prescription anti-inflammatory about maybe two hours ago, and it should have conked him out within minutes, but it hasn't.  Poor guy.

He was doing heavy lifting at a warehouse today, helping one of the theatre companies he works with move from one prop storage space to another.  He may have broken his left pinkie whilst hefting a particularly heavy flat.  I got a phone call to pick him up early.  He said something about an emergency room.

Changed his mind when he got in the car, though.  Said he didn't want to sit around for hours only to be told to ice it and take an anti-inflammatory, when I'd tell him that right away.  He had a point there.  I'd brought ice.  We'll see how it is tomorrow morning, at which time I may have the opportunity to mention that I told him so, about the emergency room.  I hope not.



I added a face full of Band-Aids for drama

Just glanced at the TV.  It turns out that the Czech phrase which sounds like "Neproche" means "No one!"  The things you learn from subtitles, eh?  Edd probably already knew that one.

Mike and I went to a party last night.  This weekend is the ramp-up to Canada Day, which is celebrated like the Fourth of July is in the States:  BBQs and hanging out, drinking.  I kept my own drinking to a minimum, because I wanted to get home in one piece by 11:30 for the First SNL Broadcast rebroadcast hosted by George Carlin.

Until around 10, 10:30, Mike was the only man there, which made for girltalk on a grand scale.  Stuff about bad boyfriends, mostly.  Couple of breakups that very day, in fact.  They like Mike - most of them have had him as a director (did I mention this was a theatre crowd?) at one time or another.  So he got to be one of the gals.  It takes an extremely masculine man not to have to prove it all the time, and Mike is that guy.

Except when it comes to potentially broken fingers, of course.  Then he's John Goddam Wayne.



Edd's Czech movie has progressed to a scene in a mental hospital.  The hero, a certain Dr. Braun, has just arrived, asking for morphine for a dying neighbor.  Apparently it's in short supply in the framework of the story, which is Nazi Germany, standing in proxy for Czechoslovakia and her communist overlords.  For a moment there I thought they were going to check Dr. Braun in against his will, but the director of the mental hospital has just given him two ampules (of morphine?) and sent him on his way. 

I'm probably going to have to ask Edd what the hell this was all about.  Or not.  I've spent more days than I ever wanted to in this lifetime visiting in all sorts of hospitals, including mental.  Explanations, when they come, are seldom anywhere near satisfactory.

Come to think of it, that may be the message of the film.  I guess that's life, and I guess that's all for now.

Currently watching : The Fifth Horseman Is Fear-A Paty Jezdec Je Strach Release date: 2006-07-25

3:13 PM - 40 Comments - 28 Kudos - Add Comment

The Greatest Nation In The World!
Category: News and Politics

So I opened my email from comics dot com today, ready to enjoy my daily Ripley's Believe It or Not.   I've loved this feature since I was a kid, and although the Interwebz has made me a tad more blase about fascinating factoids, I still really enjoy the "Whaaa?" jolt.  I'm sentimental that way, what can I tell you.

However.

Today's feature made me think a little, beyond the Whaaa? moment.  Here, feel free to enjoy all three revelations, but take a good look at the one in the lower right.



Situation look familiar?

Yeah.  And this guy probably actually did something.  People probably saw him carrying the sword.  We don't know how many of the folks currently on an extended bondage vacation in Guantanamo actually did anything, so there's your difference.

When I was in grade school, we learned that everybody in the world wanted to come to America for the freedoms detailed in our Bill of Rights.  Or at the very least they admired us and wanted their countries to be like ours.  France: they toppled the crown right down the steps of the guillotine and instituted Democracy because of us, and they started with "A Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen."

Title ring a bell? 



OK, then.  I'll be resting my case in about six paragraphs and two pictures.

The bottom line here is nobody's admiring the States any more, now are they? Unless they're using US textbooks circa 19 - say - 60 in their elementary school classrooms.

It's embarrassing, to be honest.  Many Americans feel sort of like a Brit might have felt when he realized Britannia was no longer the Gem of the Ocean.  That fabled world dominance?  Pffft.

I know: naive.  Makes a person want to move to the Galapagos or something.  Start fresh.



My point here is that if the polls hold true, and come January the United States has a chance to start fresh with President Obama, that guy had better appoint someone like Dennis Kucinich (whom some people say will never be President himself because he is the honorary Representative from the No-bullshit Zone and that's like Puerto Rico or Guam: not represented in Congress), to tell him the truth and help him, the President, steer clear of national abominations like, for example, secret offshore torture zones. 

If the penguins show up, it means he's doing his job.

Currently listening : Schoolhouse Rocks the Vote! By Various Artists (Collections) Release date: 1998-08-21

8:41 AM - 26 Comments - 20 Kudos - Add Comment

Not funny
Category: Life

You probably know about this by now, so I'm posting the extreme abbreviation.  If not, I'm so sorry to be the one to bring you the report, and you can find out more, just about anywhere you graze for news, online or off, likely for the next few days (weeks? - a beloved guy).  Up here, they're (typically) pointing out that he was born Canadian.  We tend to do that.



Here's another not funny story.



Why do people think the potential for death is funny?  "Funny car" races, where the attraction is not the amusing condition of the vehicles, but the real possibility that someone driving one might die?

***

In other news, the National Joke in the White House is the subject of speculation by the publisher of the Weekly Standard (itself a joke in the publishing world).



Are you threatening me?

Makes me think of that scene in Blazing Saddles where Cleavon Little escapes a lynching in Rock Ridge by pulling a gun on himself.

We laughed then. 

But not now.  Not today.  Carlin's not here to point out the absurdity, take the edge off.  RIP Truthteller.

Currently listening : Life Is Worth Losing By George Carlin Release date: 2006-01-17

6:31 AM - 30 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

Non sequitur, the graphic novel
Category: Art and Photography

You may not know this about me, but although I can't draw a straight line (hands too shaky from the booze), I do a pretty fair job collaging found pixels together. 

Well, another thing you may not know about me is that I have ambitions, big ones.  When The Great American Novel finally hits the (unfortunately by then deserted) bookstores, the byline will be mine.  Mine!

And in keeping with the minimal-words format in today's literary scene, it will be a graphic novel. 

Herewith the beginnings, drawn from random graphical comments on Other People's Blogs....

Currently listening : Songs Without Words By Various Artists Release date: 2001-12-10

11:55 AM - 22 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

One down
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

This guy could offer inspiration to those American-born teens only able to speak Hip-hop and Text.  If they knew about him.  Sure, they're online, but they're too busy over on Facebook, or LOLing and misusing the letters U, R and Z on their phones, to hang out here.

What are the stats?  Well, according to a recent report based on US Department of Education figures, analyzing 2004 graduation data - and this is not college acceptance, it's just making it through high school, "the likelihood that a ninth-grader in one of the nation's biggest cities will clutch a diploma four years later amounts to a coin toss — not much better than a 50-50 chance."  The burbs did better, by up to 47% in Baltimore, but still, only 81% of that metro area's suburban kids managed to get a diploma.  (you can read the whole story here.)

When you consider that the US is not offering much in undereducated employment opportunities, this bodes very badly for the economic future of the nation.

It's not necessarily all the kids' fault.  I don't even begin to understand how the world has changed for the average 17 year old from when I was one.  From where I sit (my dining room), the atmosphere for young people is charged with both powerlessness and over-empowerment, and the distractions alone are immeasurably more hellacious.  Shouldn't parents and school boards and state education associations and Governors and so forth be leaping into the gap and shoving the kids upward?  When did a good public education become irrelevant?

I know.  Rhetorical questions.  My own kid is staring down the barrel of 30 this fall.  Not really a kid.  Pretty damn bright, and not even a G.E.D.  And yeah, special case (these days) and whatnot, but he was also failed by an education system back in the day, one that threw up its hands after the D.A.R.E. program had worked its nothing on a generation swirling down the drain from drug abuse.

So... how soon do you suppose it will be before the Presidential candidates are drawn from the ranks of the home-schooled?

Currently reading : Chinese For Dummies By Wendy Abraham

11:29 PM - 32 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

125
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

So I've noticed something in the scammy "enter your cell phone number to get your IQ test results" ads you see everywhere online.  Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and the John McCain stand-in, George Dubya Bush, every one of them has an IQ of 125! What are the odds, she queried the universe in the snarkiest of manners?

My own personal IQ has apparently dipped over the decades, something that used to distress me before I realized that none of that actually matters once you stop adding stuff to your Permanent Record.  Yeah, I suppose if it had crept up, I might have been less blase.  Whatever.

My point here is not me.  Nuh-uh.  It's how come three individuals in public life (who, I might add, are really unlikely to fall for the cell-phone thing, given all their canny handlers and so forth) have the exact IQ?

I call bullshit.



OK, I'm back.  Where were we?

Oh yes.  So, how smart are these people, really?   Let's go to the pros.

A prominent (by virture of the fact that he has a web page) internet astrologer cites these astro-signs of genius:

The Chart of Genius

• The chart is unbalanced.
  There is a lack of planets in one element or quality
• Overstressed or afflicted 3rd house (the mind)
• A malefic in the 3rd (Mars, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune or Pluto)
• The ruler of the 3rd is in close aspect to one or more malefic(s)
• The 10th house (career, public recognition, fame) is often afflicted
• A close, stressful connection between the 3rd and the 10th
  The way this person's mind works interferes with his or her reputation and work in the world.
• The Ascendant is often afflicted.
  A malefic is rising or the chart ruler may be in close aspect to a malefic, indicating that the person has difficulty "adjusting" to society or may not be able to at all
• Connections between the Ascendant and the 3rd house
  The way this person's mind works interferes with his ability to adapt to everyday life. He also has difficulty expressing his thoughts in a way that others can understand.
• Mercury is often afflicted by a malefic, especially an outer planet
• Indications of sexual frustration, inhibition, or transference of sexual values upon other things (art, music, guitar playing, surfing the internet)
• Jupiter (success) or Venus (money) are often afflicted by Mars, Saturn or Uranus
  Money is often denied or slow to come. Recognition is hard won if at all. There is a lack of concern for her or his own health, comfort and physical well being that sometimes amounts to shocking negligence, as if s/he were deliberately sacrificing himself or herself for some higher ideal.

Currently listening : Genius Loves Company (Sacd Ver By Ray Charles Release date: 2004-09-14

3:00 AM - 32 Comments - 24 Kudos - Add Comment

Who needs words? It’s the Interwebz!
Category: Web, HTML, Tech

Well, this year's Webbies are now history, and once again I have been snubbed.  But that's OK.  Really.  This is as close as I have to a website anyway, unless you count www.cafepress.com/carolhiller, which is the least you can do, but, no, really, it's fine.


I do not own this.

However, in the collegial spirit I so famously exemplify, here are the entire texts of my personal faves of this year's Webby acceptance spee...

STOP!  DON'T TOUCH THAT MOUSE!

The cool part is that there is a tradition of limiting Webby acceptance speeches to five words.

Yeah.  You read that right.  And the uber-cool part is that some of the entrants can't count, yet it doesn't seem to hold them back from living their dreams.  Let's have a look at some of those speeches, shall we?

Guides/Ratings/Reviews

ConsumerReports.org: "It pays not to advertise."

Podcasts

The Onion: "Thanks for the awesome slinky."

Social/Networking

Flock The Social Web Browser: "No shit! We beat Facebook?"

Weird

I Can Has Cheezburger? : "Mah inglish skillz, lolcats b0rkedem."

Games

Kongregate: "Proud to undermine your productivity."

Best Copy/Writing

HowStuffWorks: "This award smells like butt."

Lifestyle

epicurious.com: "The icing on the cake."

Food and Beverage

CHOW: "Eat talapia, because it's vegetarian."

Blog - Political

The Huffington Post: "President Obama... Sounds good, right?"

Charitable Organizations / Non-Profit

Katrina: An Unnatural Disaster: "Stand up for the Gulf."

Politics

FactCheck.org: "No, Obama is not a Muslim."

School/University

The Los Angeles Recording School : "Encourage kids to be creative."

School/University

School of Visual Arts Web site: "Dude, Warhol would have loved this."

Banner Singles

Lightbulb: "We're hiring. Send us resumes."

Game or Application

Coca-Cola Happiness Factory: "Seth, your fly is open."

Public Service & Activism

Titangreens.com: "Gore's hilarious love child accepts."

Reality

Mike's Got Mail: "well, hard to follow that."

Mobile Listings & Updates

ZAGAT.mobi: "Actually, it's pronounced Za-GAT."

Mobile Marketplace & Services

Chase SMS Banking: "Fuck corporate design, hire me."

• Webby Lifetime Achievement: David Byrne
• Webby Artist of the Year: will.i.am
• Webby Person of the Year: Stephen Colbert
• Webby Film & Video Lifetime Achievement: Lorne Michaels
• Webby Film & Video Awards Person of the Year: Michel Gondry
• Webby Film & Video Awards Best Actor: Tim and Eric

Currently listening : Take 5: A Banjo Collection By Cormierm J.P. Release date: 2007-05-01

6:37 PM - 36 Comments - 28 Kudos - Add Comment

Hella Day
Category: Life

What a Monday, eh?  About a thousand degrees outside, and no better inside, because Robbie the Airconditioner doesn't really do his job.  I think I liked winter better.



I truly love this apartment, except for the no air conditioning, the no dishwasher, and the miniature single bathroom, and I'm sort of getting used to those except for the first one.

Example:  even thinking about doing laundry in the beautifully appointed but really hot laundry room downstairs blinds me with sweat pouring off my scalp and into my eyes.  Which means it's been shamefully piling up.  So I called a doing-your-laundry-for-you service.  They came this afternoon, took four (yeah, but Mike and I are Big People) garbage bags stuffed with dirty clothes away to the Magic Place, whence they will return tomorrow evening, and all it's gonna cost is way too damn much money.  But it's either that or a trip to WalMart for new underwear, and I. Do. Not. Want. To. Go. Outside.

So what did I do, now that the laundry was handled?

Well.  Over a series of increasingly excited emails from her mom, I found out that today was my niece Becky's baby's birth day.  As in being born.  First child for her and her husband Jon, first grandchild for Marg, just all sorts of first!  And through the magic of modern technology (first laundry service, then this, when will it end?), I present the very first photo of Miss Emma Claire F.



She's in a little baby oxygen tent because she was both an eight-month preemie and a caesarian baby.  Her mom and dad comment that she is beautiful, and I can't argue.  The doctor decided last weekend that this was going to be the style of her birth, as Becky lost 24 pounds of extra weight when the medical team removed, after removing the baby and accompanying accessories, an ovarian cyst approximately the size of a big-picnic watermelon with which Emma had been sharing her mom's abdomen.

And even with that, even with the early birth, the little doll was over six pounds, and as you can see, pleasantly chubby.

I got right to work on a layette, and put these designs on three bibs, three onesies, and three baby t-shirts, respectively.











That last shirt design is a map of Yellowstone National Park, where both her parents live and work.  Becky had said that if anyone dared to send the baby Winnie-the-Pooh stuff, well, she just wouldn't be responsible.  Which is good, because the designs above are really more her style, and Jon's.  And mine :)

Currently reading : Penguin Classics Travels With My Aunt By Graham Greene

8:09 PM - 36 Comments - 30 Kudos - Add Comment

A regular human being - video update
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Right now, I'm feeling pretty good. It's just one little thing in my brain.

If I let it affect everything, it's gonna own everything. I don't deny it or pretend it's not there, but if I don't allow it to be bigger than it is, then I can do everything else.

My body is an isometric exercise, because I'm always putting pressure against things. Whatever I'm doing at any given time, I'm also doing something else -- I've always got this thing going on.

The thing I miss most is spontaneity -- just kind of saying, Fuck it, let's go to Vegas. I can't really do that.

I got a '67 Mustang, but I'm not driving it much. My wife gave it to me for my thirty-fifth birthday, so I've had it for eleven years, but even when she gave it to me, it came with vintage plates, which was kinda distressing -- a car that's six years younger than me is a registered antique.

There was this image of me as this kind of cute 'n' cuddly guy, which in as far as it got me laid, I didn't mind it too much. It made me party harder.

People said, "Does it bother you that girls want to sleep with you because you're famous?" "That's a tough one. Lemme think about that. No."

I knew I had something more going on than just being cute. What was tough about that for me was growing up playing hockey, coming from Canada, leaving at eighteen, all that stuff. I was a beer drinker and a chain-smoker, and I'd been in my share of scraps when I was a kid. So I kinda saw myself as a little bit of a hard guy, you know?

I can't always control my body the way I want to, and I can't control when I feel good or when I don't. I can control how clear my mind is. And I can control how willing I am to step up if somebody needs me.

That's one of the things the illness has given me: It's a degree of death. There's a certain amount of loss, and whenever you have a loss, it's a step toward death. So if you can accept loss, you can accept the fact that there's gonna be the big loss. Once you can accept that, you can accept anything. So then I think, Well, given that that's the case, let's tip myself a break. Let's tip everybody a break.

My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.

Acceptance is the key to everything.

Which isn't to say that I'm resigned to it, or that I've given up on it, or that I don't think I have any effect on the outcome of it. It's just that, as a reality, I get it.

Who gives a shit how it looks? It doesn't matter. I look like what I look like.

If you don't have someone calling you on your shit, you're lost.

I can't be smug, because I know that you can lose anything at any point. And I can't be angry, because I haven't lost it.

I started golf in my forties, which is the ultimate optimism.

My whole life, meeting people is like a blind date, because I feel like they've already seen the video on me.

I say to my son, "My tattoo is that I don't have a tattoo." I just about got a tattoo when my dad passed away, because he had one, a horse's head surrounded by a horseshoe with roses -- he was a jockey before he went into the military. So when he passed away, I just about went downtown and got a tattoo of a horse with roses. I'm glad I didn't -- because I was drunk outta my ass.

Discipline is just doing the same thing the right way whether anyone's watching or not.

I was never big on lunch boxes and all that stuff, and I look at it now and think, God, how much money I turned down. Oh, fuck, I'd do it in a heartbeat now.

I realized very quickly that I had no idea what the hell was good for me to do. You have no idea. The things you do -- you do some things for money, you do some things for free. It's a very difficult place to be. But on the other hand, it's so much fun. You realize, There's no way I should be allowed to do it, and I'm gonna watch everybody let me do it -- and I can get a giggle out of how it's killing them.

I make no bones about the fact that I stopped drinking. That was the key to everything. Until I did that, I just couldn't have the clarity.

I had to choose not to party anymore. I could've chosen to continue doing that, but that would've been destructive. Who wants to be a cliché?

I'm driving the Ferrari down Ventura Boulevard ninety miles an hour and the cop goes, "Mike! C'mon, take it easy, you're gonna hurt somebody." I remember sitting there after the cop walked away, going, "This is just seriously fucked up. This is really crazy." It's one of those moments when you realize that the only thing that's ever going to stop me from doing whatever I want to do is me -- and I don't want the job.

No matter how much money you have, you can lose it.

No matter how much fame you have, it's not something that belongs to you. If I'm famous, that doesn't belong to me -- that belongs to you. If you can't remember who I am, I'm no longer famous.

I see Us magazine and People magazine and all these tabloids -- they have the same story over and over again. It's the same every week, and I get all kind of smug about it, and I think, Come on, really? You care about this shit? But then cut to me going, "Get outta the corner! Get the fuckin' puck up! What the fuck are ya doing?" It's tough to stay off the subject of the fact that we're all gonna die. We all need our subject changers. That's what it all comes down to.

The thing with Limbaugh was so interesting. I didn't even have to say anything. People said to me, "Don't ya hate the guy?" I was like, "I can't get it up to hate the guy." I know it's a racket, I know it's a job -- it's show business, and that's fine. Let's take it as show business.

People wanted me to rip him apart. The truth is, Limbaugh is ripping himself apart well enough for all of us.

Six months in the jungle with Sean Penn is tricky, but he's a real talented guy. I sent him a note at the end of it saying, "I can't say that it was a pleasure, but it was a privilege."

I have this Bose Sirius radio, and I put it on Classic Vinyl and get my guitar and just play along with it -- it's all twelve-bar blues -- and for hours I just do that.

I'm not in the widget business anymore. I have no widgets to sell.

I had lunch with Sean when I was trying to decide whether to go back and do Spin City. I said, "I just want to pick your brain." He's a brilliant guy and a great artist and an honest fella in a great way. I said, "I'm trying to figure out whether to go back and do this TV show," and he gets this smile on his face and he goes, "Well, it is the most successful part of your gift." Brilliant. What I love is that I could hear that and laugh my ass off and say, "Fuck you" -- but I so appreciate people that think on that level.

I always wanted to do a short film about Petomane, the flatulist. Petomane was the guy who could do the "1812 Overture" out of his ass.

When I see pictures of Lindsay Lohan in the car or Paris Hilton -- the level of glee and the level of viciousness -- wow. We've got a war goin' on. We've got people dying. And we're all up in arms about this girl.

I have such empathy for all these young women. I was there, and I did all that crap. We'd rip it up, y'know? And we never got busted on any of that stuff.

"She deserves it" and "Who does she think she is?" Who does she think she is? She doesn't think -- she doesn't know what she had for breakfast this morning. Who gives a shit? Relax, everybody. Calm down.

Whatever terrible thing is going on, it's going on until you find out that it's not. So get to that part as quickly as possible.

I don't know of anyone that's had a perfect run.

I'm an American citizen since '99. I'm happy because I get to vote. There's a lot of years that I paid for a lot of stuff that I didn't like; I like having a say in it.

It started the summer before last summer, when the president vetoed the first Stem Cell Research Enhancement Act. He had these families around him, these "snowflake babies," which presented it like it was an either/or situation and the two were mutually exclusive. It was just such manipulation, and it just pissed me off so much.

I'm not looking at polling, I don't have to play any of these games, I don't have to worry about whether I'm on message or off message. I'm just saying, Hey, can we look at this for a second?

I don't really consider myself a political animal. I try not to be grandiose about that. It's like the barn is burning down and you've got the bucket of water. I don't know how I got this bucket of water, I don't remember going to get it, but it's in my hand, so I guess I've gotta throw it.

I have to think of myself as a regular human being.

PS from Carol:  Want to help?   Here's the URL for the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research.  http://www.michaeljfox.org/index.cfm ..tr>..table> ..tr> ..table>

Currently listening : Soul: I Will Survive By Various Artists Release date: 2003-05-12

8:22 AM - 36 Comments - 38 Kudos - Add Comment

And so it begins.

Putting the lie to McJohn McCain's speechdicking the night of Barack Obama's victory, in which he (sort of) played nice, complimenting in the most patronizing of ways Hillary Clinton's campaign, the following showed up on the AP wire 20 minutes ago:

Illinois scandal threatens presidential race

By MIKE ROBINSON, Associated Press Writer 20 minutes ago

CHICAGO - A day after Barack Obama sealed the Democratic nomination for president, a corruption scandal involving a fundraiser who once bankrolled his campaign resurfaced to slightly dampen the festivities.


Chicago businessman Antoin "Tony" Rezko, 52, was convicted Wednesday of fraud, money laundering and aiding and abetting bribery in a plot to squeeze illegal payoffs out of firms hoping to do business with the state.


Republicans are already capitalizing on Rezko's ties to Obama, even though the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee is accused of no wrongdoing and his name was barely mentioned at trial.


"Today's verdict and Obama's friendship with Rezko raises serious questions about whether he has the judgment to serve as president," Robert M. "Mike" Duncan, chairman of the Republican National Committee, said in a statement...."

Filthy mudslingers. How long it will be before they mention that he has two black children, Mr. McCain?

4:25 AM - 39 Comments - 32 Kudos - Add Comment

Soon-to-be Unavailable Vehicles (SUVs)
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

Dammit, this was my DREAM!  Someday, Carol, I told myself, you will be behind the gigundo wheel of a stunningly ginormous SUV.  Some sweet day, I would add, in my head, humming softly.



Except just now, as I was placidly taking in the features and news on Breakfast Television, what should hit the screen but the CEO or Chairman or something (you can tell how alertly I was following the action) of General Motors, giving an oral report, a state-of-the-union, if you will, at their annual meeting.



And he said...

NO MORE GM SUVs, AS OF THE 2010 MODEL YEAR (which the way they've been scheduling them, should start as of this coming Friday)!!



WHAT!?!

I'm going to have to drive my 2001 Honda Accord (which Mike insists on calling a Honda Acorn) into the ground, with no respite for a head-bangin' possum-killin' two-bedroom custom camo paint number ??



Damn.

Oh yeah, also about a thousand people will be losing their jobs.

Currently reading : Big Wheels, The By Graham Chaffee

8:40 AM - 44 Comments - 29 Kudos - Add Comment

Let’s Vote a T-Shirt For President!
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

For some months now, I've had a group of pro-Obama t-shirts up at my cafepress shop, which, for those not adequately pestered by me yet, can be found at www.cafepress.com/carolhiller.

(No, this is not another sales pitch.  It is a gloat session.  Calm down.)

They've been doing OK, especially the "Michelle For First Lady" one, and for someone who would be pretending to be an artist anyway, it's a nice little sack of change.  Ooh!  I made a funny!  Get it?  "Change!"

*sigh*  All right.  You crickets can go on back over to the hob now.

My point is that there is some design talent in the U.S.A. and environs.  But none of it seems to favor Mrs. Clinton.

Here are some examples.  The below graphic is either a plant by the minions of McSatan, or a clear example of delusional thinking.  It is preceded by these words:

"We received thousands of great entries for our t-shirt contest, and it wasn't easy to narrow them down. But we've chosen our favorite five, and now it's up to you! Vote for your favorite design, and the winning shirt will go on sale in our online campaign store."

"thousands."  In a nation of 300 million, 30 million of whom are presumably blessed with the Gay Design Gene, and these are the best, the finalists, out of "thousands."  PS, I copied the text on the black and white one for you so it would be easier to read.  I did not do this because it is my favorite.



If I had known about this contest (which is sort of my point, I guess), I know I could have made a better one.  At 3 AM, drunk and depressed.

Sort of like the ones available now at www.cafepress.com/carolhiller.  In the "Michelle 4 First Lady" shop.  (During whose design process I was neither drunk nor depressed, just to clarify.)

7:13 AM - 25 Comments - 20 Kudos - Add Comment

Iced Coffee My Ass! Rachael Ray Supports Terrorists!
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Rachael Ray ad pulled as pundit sees terror link

Malkin claimed scarf similar to those worn by murderous Islamic extremists

Dunkin' Donuts pulled a television spot featuring talk show host and Food Network personality Rachael Ray this weekend after a Fox news commentator associated it with terrorists.

In the ad, Ray is wearing a scarf that Michelle Malkin said in her nationally syndicated column resembled a kiffiyeh, Middle Eastern garb that is "popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos."

Dunkin's Senior Vice President for Communications Margie Myers issued a statement saying the scarf "was selected by a stylist for the advertising shoot. Absolutely no symbolism was intended.

"However, as of this past weekend, we are no longer using the online ad because the possibility of misperception detracted from its original intention to promote our iced coffee."

In her column, Malkin also noted that it could appear at times that actor Colin Farrell, rapper Kanye West and Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean have been photographed in similar scarves that were "distinctive hate couture."

***

I would also like to point out the cherry trees in the background.  Who enjoys cherry trees?  The Japanese, that's who!  The same Japanese who bombed Pearl Harbor, less than 52 years before Hillary Clinton's Husband won the California Primary! 

The very same Japanese whose internment during WWII Ms. Malkin to eloquently defends in her novel In Defense of Internment!

Might I also remind you that with the black hair and the tomato-based recipe blitz lately, Rachel Ray is ALSO calling to mind Italy?!?  She probably even IS Italian! 

JAPAN!  ITALY!  AXIS!  BROWN PEOPLE TERRORISTS IN THE MIDDLE EAST!    AXIS OF EVIL!  RUN!

Some people just know how to behave themselves when the nation is at war, that's all I'm saying.

Currently listening : God Bless America (Coll. Pack) By 101 Strings Orchestra Release date: 2007-09-06

12:45 AM - 45 Comments - 34 Kudos - Add Comment