Again with the Fucking Changes........
Current mood: disgusted

So a lot has happened since my last blog....... At best I can say I have mixed feelings about some of it and I am down right pissed off about the rest.

I have been writing about "the good times", friends, family, getting older, loss, health, death, war, and politics since I first felt the need to do my ramblings, rants, blogs, testimonies, or whatever the hell you want to call them.  It seems that out of all of these categories I've listed, the older I get, the more "negatives" I get to experience. I have a tendency to go negative on my own. I don't need this shit.  Again, bare with me, As usual I am all of over the place. I have no alibi other than to just confess that I am not good at staying on a single subject and following through with whatever point I was trying to make. I am sure I will change the subject 5 times and I throw myself on the mercy of.....

 (MOTHERFUCKER!!!!! Jerry (my cat) is outside my window meowing like Oliver fucking Twist in search of porridge. He is stating his case loudly like a crackhead in the middle of downtown... "Just give me ten dollars and I will leave you fine people alone!" It's fucking extortion! This lil gray bastard must have placed a tracking chip on me somewhere. He always knows which room I am in and he voices his grievances at that window relentlessly. I try to ignore him. I tell him to shut the hell up but he doesn't listen. I know he understands me. He speaks better English than I do feline... I know that fucking much.. Ok, I bent to his will and let him in.... I just had my actions manipulated by the persistence of a cat brain... where was I?)


Ahhhhhh.... (as demonstrated) I throw myself on the mercy of my readers as I don't even know where in the hell my blogs go half the time (due to either external interruptions like Jerry here or internal distractions due to my short train of thought... It is essentially just an engine, a boxcar full of useless 80s trivia, and a caboose full of unfinished projects).

And on to the negatives that life keeps throwing at me.......



   Today I say goodbye to a dear friend of mine, Sean Barnes. Sean and I grew up in rival neighborhoods and went to the same high school. Sean grew up in Cedar Point and I grew up in Valley Park.  These neighborhoods are on opposite sides of Johnson High School.  We would often meet at Johnson (before we were all old enough to go to Johnson) and play football on the practice field. We had some hellified games and rivalries growing up.

 When we were all old enough to attend Johnson, the neighborhood rivalry died and we all flew the same flag so-to-speak. It was no longer Valley Park vs. Cedar Point, It was Johnson High School versus the rest of the city.  The things I used to hate about my "rivals" from Cedar Point became things I applauded them for as classmates.  Naturally, when you have a football rivalry, and you have a big man from an opposing team, and he knocks you on your ass repeatedly, you don't like him.... But, when this guy is all of a sudden on your team, and you personally know what he is capable of (because you've been on the receiving end of it) you applaud that ability.

Sean was a big man in every way. Sean was at least 6ft5 but not the least bit intimidating to anyone who knew him (unless you were unfortunate enough to be in his path with a football in your possession). He always had a disarming smile and inviting demeanor. The guy would do anything for a friend but he was no one's sucker.

Sean also had a knack for looking at the big picture and I never once saw him alienate or ridicule anybody.  At Johnson, we all had fraternities and sororities. I was in D.C.I. Sean was friends with everyone in D.C.I. I don't ever recall him wanting to be a member of our fraternity though. He did, however, attempt to start his own fraternity cleverly named "U.B.U".  At the time I didn't understand it. I was like "What the fuck are you doing? Why not just pledge for D.C.I.?" He just smiled and stated that he wanted to start a new one.  I think he did it because there were a number of people who pledged for D.C.I. and didn't get in and he wanted to make a fraternity that did positive things and didn't exclude anybody for whatever reason, hence the name "U.B.U. or You Be You".  High School itself was a series of cliquie, clumsy, half baked things and even while he was in the middle of it all, he was already above and beyond the silliness. He knew that no one had anything to gain by limiting themselves to a certain circle of people. He was a friend to everybody.

I remember he and I went out on a double date with his girlfriend (he later married her) and one of her friends.  I really liked her friend. She was fun to talk to and very pretty. At the same time, I was a high school kid so I definitely wanted to grab a titty or two. The next day after the date Sean and I were talking. I, of course, complained that I didn't get to second base. I asked Sean how things went with him and his response was "You know what I love about Charmion? She's just beautiful... She doesn't have to wear make up. Her lips are naturally that color. Her cheeks are naturally that color. She is so sweet man. Everything about her is just..... just beautiful."  Again, he was above it all.... He had no need to complain about not getting to second base, or to brag if he hit a home run! Of course, his response had little impact on me at the time but now that I am older and I have had relationships that have lasted longer than a "hard-on" I once again realize that the man was ahead of the game. He knew what was important and he was wise beyond his years in that regard. He had nothing to prove to anyone. He had found his soul mate and he was happy. He graduated a year after me..................

He went on to become a DJ after high school. He would spin at clubs around town as "DJ Champagne". He and I lost touch shortly after that. I saw him once when I went to an audio/video store on meridian. We swore we would keep in touch but didn't........

Sean had a great voice as well.  One day I called to order a pizza and I heard a recording. It was Sean happily telling me about the specials Domino's had to offer. Another day, I was watching TV and there Sean is doing a commercial for a car dealership....

A couple of months ago, after losing my cousin Terry, I felt the need to get in contact with some of my old friends.  I called that store Sean was working at and the owner told me that Sean started his own business and gave me Sean's number.  Sean and Charmion started their own wedding business. Sean officiated wedding ceremonies and Charmion arranged them. How cool is that shit!? I called Sean and his voice was as inviting as ever. He told me he was in the hospital. I was thinking "Ok so he has to have an appendix out or something." Sean had been fighting leukemia for some time...

Sean and I kept in contact after that call but I didn't call him as much as I should have. The last time I talked to him was a couple of weeks ago. They had exhausted all of the treatments. The end was near... Even then, the man was above it all.......

  He told me that he realized everything he had done previously (DJ-ing, doing voice work, advertising) brought him here. He loved marrying people. He loved being that catalyst. Being the one who initiates that new life, a shared life. He said that he was destined to do it. He just wished he had discovered it sooner. And that was Sean.... It was right there in front of us the whole time.... He brought people together...... Always an inclusive entity.....


 Today at 4 o'clock he will bring people together again. We will celebrate his life...

I will miss you my friend.

This is not fair.........

OTHER CHANGES....

I started a new job 2 weeks ago. My new company is awesome. The people are nice. I am still easing in to it all. I am also going through withdrawals with my previous job.

This weekend will be my last weekend in Tennessee... I have worked there just over 4 years. I am already missing all of my people. This weekend is going to be a hard weekend for me. You create a lot of bonds wasting weekends with people.

In the end it is for the best though. My new job is minutes from my house and I will have more opportunity for advancement. I will still keep in touch with my crew in Nashville....

UPDATE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I worked my last day Saturday and everyone made it special for me. We all grilled out at lunch and had a great time. Everyone gave me some cards and wished me well....  They also trashed my cubicle (video below) while I was in a meeting..LOL I will miss my 3rd shift family...

 They trashed my cubicle!!!!


OTHER CHANGES.....

Any shred of my youthfulness is dead. I am officially too old for the Big Spring Jam.....

For those of you who may not know, the Big Spring Jam is a weekend long concert in downtown Huntsville.  This year I went to see Kansas, 38 Special, and STYX. They all were superb! HOWEVER....The atmosphere around me (ie stupid fucking kids running around in joker make up and old clueless drunk fucks) sucked ass!

So I'm standing there in the middle of Clinton Street and Monroe Avenue trying to listen to 38 Special and this fat bitch keeps walking by.... I don't mind that she is a fat bitch with a frown on her face.... I don't even care that she has chosen to walk around back and forth in front of me.... I do mind, however,  that this bitch is selling glow in the dark tambourines and she keeps rattling the fucking thing every time she passes. She isn't even playing in conjunction with band!!!!

I know. I know....  It seems like I am reaching for this one... I'm not. I don't go out of my way to find things to bitch about... They find me...the things.... and in turn... I BITCH!!!!

I realize it is an outdoor concert and people are all talking and shit.. I can deal with that.. The band drowns most of that out.  But nothing generates sound waves like a tambourine in close proximity. This bitch was a like an inbred Hare Krishna...

Furthermore, if you are going to play an instrument, a happy, simple , light-hearted fucking instrument like a tambourine.... Fucking smile when you do so!!!!!

This bitch moped around ever so sluggishly, (In fact i have deemed her an honorary "Hutt") playing this thing constantly with no variation. She might as well have had a t-shirt on that said "Tambourine of Misery 5 Dollars!"

She was built like, and had all the charisma of an old beat down ghetto ice cream truck playing the same worn out fucking "pop goes the weasel" track over and over all day long...

You can see this monstrosity here:
the tambourine of misery


So she stands next to me for 5 minutes playing this thing. I finally give in and move. After I move out of earshot the bitch walks off.... Then the conspiracy theorist in me kicks in and I am convinced that the bitch was only there to annoy me. Nothing changes in her environment except for my absence....

So 38 Special is over.... My cousin Bethany rode with me... Donna and I are sitting on this wall waiting for Bethany. Bethany opted to go see this no-talent fuck named T-PAIN.  T-PAIN doesn't even have but like one song that solely belongs to him. He makes his living singing loops on other peoples shit, yet his concert lasts longer than the "actual musicians" that showed up. So on stage is T-Pain and a DJ.... That's fucking it!!!!

I am not watching but I hear him... His concert consisted of him audibly blowing himself on stage for 7 minutes and then  playing a snippet of his "sample" for like 2 minutes..... And then it's 7 more minutes of T-Pain talking random shit..,.. fucking pathetic... This guy is a human music sample walking around getting paid and simpletons applaud this ass clown...

Bethany swears up and down he put on a good show... but I have questioned her judgment in the past and she and i will have to agree to disagree on this one.  Fuck I have a little Louis Armstrong animated figure... I press a button and he sings "It's a Beautiful World" I press it again and he sings "Hello Dolly".  Fuck.... It's a T-Pain concert whenever i want.....All I need is some C-Batteries and I'm good.. It's music samples and lip syncing right?  My "Robotic Louis Armstrong" meets that fucking criteria!!!

I am going to clean my kitchen and do some laundry.

Much Love y'all,
Casey

PS Sarah Palin is a clueless douche!!!  I am disowning anyone that votes for that bitch:) J/K I know some of my loved ones are voting for this moron...... just shake it off before the election... The novelty of this bitch has long passed and it's ok to admit she is a know-nothing publicity stunt in a dress who over pronounces her "O's" like that annoying secretary in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". Let it the fuck go already before you fuck us all with your "She's like me" bullshit.  She's not like you.... Be smarter than her and don't vote for her stupid ass...

Wake up for fucks sakes...

Currently listening : ATLiens By OutKast Release date: 1996-08-27

4:06 PM - 12 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Repubtard National Convention (and other shit)
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Life

SICKENING......

 I am having a hard time holding my dinner down watching these idiotic lemmings blow second-hand smoke up each others' asses.

Sarah Palin... Nah... too easy... I'll get back to her... She's not through speaking yet and I'd hate to go on a rant about something stupid she said only to realize she said something even dumber.  As it goes, she has given plenty to comment on already.

SO THAT BEING SAID..

Am I the only one that thinks Laura Bush always looks like she has to fart? Really... She looks like she needs a "Beano" I.V.

I watched her bullshit speech at the convention and it was a major yawn-a-thon. She has no facial expressions when she speaks (or rather they don't match the so-called importance of her words). Is she addicted to botox treatments? It was like watching the "Hall of Presidents" at Disney World. Yeah, words come out of her mouth but her eyes.... They just stay the same. Even her blinking doesn't look natural. In fact the bitch hardly blinks at all. I have seen more conviction in statements rattled off by "Billy Bob" at Showbiz Pizza.

(The crowd just cheers for these assholes. Why are they cheering? McCain voted with Bush 90% of the time... So they are cheering for shit to stay the same? I dunno. Repubtards in general piss me off..).

BACK TO LAURA...

I AM CERTAIN THIS BITCH IS A ROBOT

Look at this little segment of her speech:



Now Look at this Robot:



THE FUCKING ROBOT BLINKS MORE THAN SHE DOES!

Anyway fuck Laura Bush.

So this dumb bitch Sarah (Whats her name again)...Palin? Yeah this dumb bitch

So she was the mayor of 13 people in Alaska and she has had like 6 kids and her husband races snow mobiles...Wow.. That clearly qualifies her to be VP. 

She has yet to say anything of any substance during this long winded love fest of fake clapping and desperation by the poor repubtards..

You know I was really looking to tear her down but after listening to this speech (and it's not over) there is nothing to attack. She presented no ideas. She bragged on herself for having kids and refusing to have a chef in her house. Wow... She is a real American. I hope to see her at wal-mart one day.

The republicans have really sunk themselves with this silly bitch.

McCain.....

Now they refer to this out of touch douche bag as a "maverick". I say he is about 9 to 10% maverick. How can you be considered a maverick when you vote with the current administration 90% of the time? How does that even work?

(Wow she just finished her speech.... It was a hollow piece of shit. The repubtards know this too because they are cheering extra hard to put up that front. I bet the applause signs have 150 watt bulbs in them tonight. They will need it. How completely empty her speech was. I think i am going to be sick)

BACK to McCain....

So they have spent the whole convention talking about his being a POW... I say "So fucking what."

Think I give a shit? No. Does his being locked in a cage for 5 years and being tortured excuse his bad decision making? No. No it doesn't. Does his being a former POW qualify him for the Presidency? No it doesn't. It just means that hey... that former POW is a dumb ass. 

Another thing to think about to is the fact that McCain is 72 years old and he has already had to battle skin cancer a couple of times. If he "bites the big one" that means we would be stuck with a lame ass hockey mom with no experience for a president. In fact, Sarah Palin cant even manage her own home. She preaches abstinence... That's awesome... How did that abstinence work out for her 17 yr old daughter who is currently knocked up? 

Awesome...

Don't give me that bullshit about "kids being off limits". Her family is a perfect example of her management skills. Furthermore, you know if Barack Obama's daughter got knocked up these bible thumping assclowns would be all over that shit.

Me personally I could give a shit if her daughter got knocked up but I am not a member of the "party of morals".  But she is.....so it is a factor. Keep in mind these are the same judgmental assholes that do nothing but point at other people and pass judgment. They don't think gay people should have equal rights to marriage, they don't believe in pre-marital sex, freedom of choice, and they will tell you in a heart beat that if you don't worship the exact same God they do that you will be going to hell.

They preach less government but they want to be in your bedrooms (LOL remember when these dipshits banned the sale of sex toys here in Huntsville?), listening in on phones calls, reading your e-mail... They are the kings of double talking "holier than thou" bullshit and they need to be out of power.  They preach freedom and strip you of your civil rights all at the same time.  Unfortunately, there are more than enough simpletons out there that will clap and cheer and vote against their own self interests. Fucking Sickening.

Anyway on to other things that have pissed me off lately...

What is it about getting old that makes you turn in to a clueless asshole (John McCain is a perfect example but I am through with politics for the rest of this blog)

Are old people subconsciously haters? What makes them buy white Crown Victorias (Cars that are the same model as cop cars) and drive slow in the fast lane. They also tend to have on those big bastard virtual reality sunglasses. What's their objective? "Honey I'm gonna put my virtual reality glasses on, crank up the ol' crown vic and go kill Tron today!"

What's that shit all about?

It never fails. I am always in a hurry to get somewhere and I see what could be a cop car ahead of me. I am not passing a cop car. Hell no. So I follow this fucker for what seems like an eternity and we come to a red light. I pull up beside the car and it's a little blue haired woman wearing her "blast shields" and hanging on to the steering wheel for dear life. Usually the husband is in the passenger seat staring off in to the distance as if he is looking for the meaning of life in his cataracts... I don't mean to sound like I am into to "ageism" but shit... If you can't drive effectively and efficiently quit driving for fucks sakes.  It is just as dangerous to drive too slow.






In other news, I just discovered a band I like. They are called chromeo. They sound really 80s. They are classified as electro-funk.

check em out



Ugh CNN keeps playing this simpleton repubtard drivel. I am going to bed. Tennessee beckons tomorrow,,

I hope all is well in the land O myspace.

Casey

PS... HERE IS A LIL SOMETHING JUST FOR FUN:)



AND:)




like I said before... farts are fucking funny!


Just read where she tried to fire her ex brother in law by abusing her position. She is a republican!


BWAHAHAHAHA and this just in... Even the repubtard pundits hate her. Check out these guys who dont know they are being recorded... awesome>> LOL



The transcript:

This clip is spreading very fast. Wow, listen to this off air exchange between two Conservative pundits and Chuck Todd who happily joined in. Tell us how you really feel about McCain and Palin. Murphy is very close to McCain and Noonan is Noonan. (rough transcript. Please fill it in below)

Murphy: You know, because I come out of the blue swing state governor work. Engler, Whitman, Thompson, Mitt Romney, Jeb Bush. And these guys, this is all like how you want to (inaudible) this race. You know, just run it up. And it's not gonna work.

Noonan: It's over.

Murphy: Still, McCain can give a version of the Lieberman speech to do himself some good.

CT: Don't  you think the Palin pick was insulting to  Kay Bailey Hutchinson, too (inaudible)

Noonan: I saw Kay this morning.

Murphy: They're all bummed out. I mean, is she really the most qualified woman they could have turned to?

Todd: Yeah, I mean is she really the most qualified woman they could have turned to?

Noonan: The most qualified? No. I think they went for this, excuse me, political bullshit about narratives and (inaudible) the picture.

Yeah, but what's the narrative?

Noonan: Every time the Republicans do that because that's not where they live and it's not what they're good at and they blow it.

Murphy: You know what's really the worst thing about it? The greatness of McCain is no cynicism and this is cynical.

And as you call it gimmicky.

Will the media start asking conservative scribes if they really feel like Murphy and Noonan do about McCain's pick of Palin? Honesty is out in front right now as we just witnessed. Are they all just lying to our faces and not being called out about it by our talking heads sitting right next to them? We just witnessed the real deal and not the dog and pony show Republicans are so good at.

Here's Noonan's column at the WSJ on Palin,

UPDATE: The LA Times has it posted now.

Currently listening : Fancy Footwork: Deluxe Edtion By Chromeo Release date: 2008-07-08

6:45 PM - 7 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Digitally Teabagged
Current mood: drunk
Category: Friends

My father once told me when I was younger that when I died I would be able to count my real friends on one hand. When he told me this I believe Brandon and I were riding to Auto Zone or somehwere with him. I'm pretty sure Brandon remembers this day too.  I'm not certain. As he and I get older we kind of have to refresh eachother's memories from time to time. Our memory banks are filling up with less interesting shit like the day to day grind, paying bills, etc... and in order to make space, the shared "good ole times" of our youth gets pushed out of there to make room for remembering when the fucking utility bill is due.

When dad told this lil "factoid of life" B and I just kind of laughed it off. I mean shit..... we had plans.. We were having a bon fire on Monte Sano that night and we ran around with like 15 other people on a regular basis. We were thick as fucking thieves. Our summers at that time were spent in Ronnie Lee's front yard drinking beer and throwing our bottles into the neighbor's low hanging tree across the street. We called it the "beer tree". I think when she finally cut that thing down she made a million off recycling. Anyway, we would hang out at Ronnie's and everyone would just kind of show up and we would all go get into to something. We swarmed around Huntsville like locusts. We would go to "Scotty's Daquiris" and get fucked up and then end up at a pool hall, cemetery, at a basketball court at 3 in the morning, playing volleyball at research park, the chicken shack, the mall parking lot, University Inn, Mr. Clean's house, going to see Coop, Bo and Purge play at any number of places around town... Any number of places that didn't necessarily sound like fun but they always were because we had our usual cast of crazies.

Well let me redirect myself... I already wrote about some of the shit we did in a blog way back when... This isn't about what my friends and I did as much as it is about who my friends are, their personalities, why we did dumb shit... The personalities of these people... They are/were crazy.. I am not excluding myself.. I am right there with them. We did so much dumb shit... It's amazing how many of us have lived as long as we have. Although,we have had a couple of casualties and those guys aren't forgotten.. Anyway I'll give you some examples of the dumb shit we did (and some of us, even though we are knocking on 40's door, still do).

So Todd (aka "Buzz Cockring") gets a job travelling and doing service work on fleet vehicles. He ends up in California. Me, I have never been to California or New York. I am about as cultured as a damn plastic pink flamingo in the front yard of a trailer in that regard. I tell Todd "If you see any cool shit send me some pics on your cell". I will take a change of scenery any way I can get it. He's excited as hell about going to Cali and assures me he will.

So Todd has been gona a couple of weeks and my cousin Corky and I decide to go see "The Dark Knight". We walk around the Bridge Street Center to kill some time before the movie. We end up at Red Robin killing off some beers and burgers.

(Side Note: My cousin... He's my boy. I got mad love for him but he commits a cardinal sin in my book. He has a wireless bluetooth earpiece and wears the mother fucker constantly. We are walking around the Bridge Street Center and it is fucking killing me!!!!! I swallow my contempt for his actions....He even wears the fucking thing as we sit down to eat and then into the movie theatre... I finally can't stand it anymore and I say "You obviously haven't read any of my blogs have you?" He says "No, why?" I reply "Because you are that guy man! Don't be that guy! The I'm-gonna-wear-my-bluetooth-to-bed guy!" 
Corky: "oh you don't like it?"
Me: "fuck no! Take it off!"
Corky: "Fuck you! I'm gonna wear it even more now that I know you don't like the shit!"
Me: "man..... fuck!"
What could I say... He lives to go against the grain and I just did the opposite of what I hoped to accomplish.... I gave him the ultimate motivation... I gave him the "Fuck You Motivation"
"Fuck You" motivation is strong shit. I am prone to "Fuck You Motivaion" myself.
If someone drives really slow in front of me on a one lane road and they inconvenience me to the point that I am going to be late I will pass them and cut the speed they were driving in half forcing them to slow down....That's right asshole... Now you are out of your fucking comfort zone!!!! So long 40 miles an hour!!! Hello 20 miles an hour!!!! Fucker. I will listen to something really whack on my stereo to correspond with my retarded fucking driving and sing gleefully thus letting them know how much I am enjoying slowing his ass down... That's right asshole I am happily singing "Musical Youth" as you choke on your fuckin "chewin bakky" you lazy eyed result of a branchless family tree!
Me: " I say: Pass the Dutchie on the left hand side!
Pass the Dutchie on the left hand side! (swaying back and forth with facial expressions of uber-gayety).
Inbred: "HONK! HONK! (mouthing something at me that I can only assume sounds like something Buford T. Justice would say while in hot pursuit).

Anyway... Corky shows mercy and removes his bluetooth for the movie. I am glad too because I would have been fixating on that blinking fucking bluetooth light for the duration. (I still can't win for losing though because the morons sitting below us thought it was great idea to bring their fucking infant to see Batman!!!! Awesome. I don't think the baby liked Batman all that much. Evidently, this child of 5 months does not appreciate the loud explosions and music that accompany a movie such as this. The kid cried all the way through the fucking movie. Fuck Me!)

All of this is irrelevant. I am all over the place... Fucking A.D.D......

OK I was talking about Todd and his going to California. Corky and I were sitting in Red Robin and I get a text message from Todd. The waitress walks up to get our order. As she is talking to Corky I am reading Todd's message. It is a "media message" The title of the message is "Man! This is Awesome!"  I'm thinking "Cool! Todd sent me some pics from California!" I click "open" just as the waitress walks up behind me to take my order and she stops in mid-sentence: "And what would you liiiiiiiii..."
Todd sent me a fucking picture of his cock! That rat-bastard! I HAVE JUST BEEN DIGITALLY TEA-BAGGED! The waitress and I both are speechless. I slowly close my phone and turn to her to smile as if to say "Can we just act like you didn't see that?"

The needle finally gets back on the record in her head and she completes her usual "mission statement" except now she is talking to me a little "sweeter"...
"And what would yeeoooou liiiiike?" Great.. She assumes I am gay now and I am here with my boyfriend who is also the bluetooth guy.

I was being insulted in multiple ways... 1) I am not gay. 2) If I was, I damn sure wouldn't be with a fucking "Bluetoother". Todd you fucking asshole!

So after eating my cheeseburger in what feels like a broadway fucking spotlight, she brings me the bill. She drew a big gay happy smiley face on the fucking thing. Dammit. I wanted to get up and walk from table to table and explain to everyone the situation...

A friend of mine told me that I have a "Persecution Complex". Ya think? Don't get me wrong. I am not a homophobe. I have no issue with gay people at all. Hell I've been to a couple of drag shows and had a blast. I just don't like being misrepresented as I am sure there are gay people who wouldn't want to be misrepresented as straight..

Dick pics and Bluetooths.... Fuck you both!

 He got me.. That's what really pisses me off. I got got! His timing was awesome. Of course I am no better than Todd. Whenever me, Brandon, and Bull would carpool to work, if one of us went into a convenient store and left his phone in the vehicle you better believe the other 2 of us were taking pictures of our balls with his phone. I don't know why we do that shit. As men we are just big happy dumb animals... but the shit is funny.. Unless of course you are the guy who has a picture of someone else's "Scrote" on your phone.

Anyway.. Speaking of other friends.

Brandon is a "button pusher" he is one of the best button pushers I know. I have seen him laying on a kitchen floor within an inch of his life because he found someone's button and he kept pushing regardless of any warnings that may have been given. He reminds me of my uncle Neal. Neal is a master button pusher as well. It is truly awesome to watch B work his magic on someone and he is one of the funniest people I know.

Jason is a walking comedy show himself. I remember one night we were at Dairy Queen and his girlfriend at the time smacked him on the side of his head and his glasses went flying. Jason with the essence of Richard Pryor barked "Bitch you crooked my glasses!" I about fell out of the booth.

Then of course you have Larry Shane and CoopDawg. I hardly see either of them. Coop just had himself a boy (CONGRATS) and Larry Shane got hitched recently.

Of course I have my Georgia people too (Jodi,Kristy,Kelly etc..). I love them immensly.

Fuck I have to drive to Tennessee tomorrow and I think I have had one beer too many... I lost my train of thought on this blog. I will wake up tomorrow, re-read this shit and either correct it or delete it...

At least I accounted for 4 of my fingers. LOL I think I was shooting to prove dad wrong.... (11) I don't guess I did.

Night:)
Casey

In closing I present a story from "The Todd"
a story from todd on new years

Currently reading : I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell By Tucker Max

7:32 PM - 11 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

A NECESSARY VIOLATION
Current mood: anxious
Category: Life

THE COLON......

It has probably the least glamorous job of any organ in the body.

About a year ago I was at work and I stood up from my desk in my "cubicle of solitude" and I felt as if an angry invisible midget had plunged a Rambo Knife into my stomach. I mean it hurt like a motherfucker! In fact, it hurt like a big bag of motherfuckers!

 I sat right back down and waited for the pain to subside. It would ease back and then just as I would catch my breath the "lil bastard of a reject from OZ invisi-midget" would shank my ass again! HARDER EVEN!!! I actually started sweating. It did this for what felt like an eternity. I was on the fence as to whether or not to go to the emergency room as the pain would go from highly acute to none at all. Finally after 20 minutes of this the lil bastard shanking me got bored and left.

 I was left with a big lump to left of my belly button. A hernia maybe? It doesn't hurt when I lift things.... Maybe I have a an intestine that has spazzed out? I dunno. Me, being the true procrastinator that I am, I decide to watch it for a lil while and see if it gets better. Well it's been over a year now and I have experienced no pain from my new friend "the lump". But why is he still here? What does "the lump" want? I am at my doctors office complaining about my sinuses as always and I feel the lump pulse... WTF!!! SO I ask the doctor to take a look at this lil bastard and he says I need to go see a surgeon to find out what the deal is. He makes an appointment and I miss it. So I figure I will make an appointment with Dr. Eughiokee.

Dr. Eughiokee is a cool motherfucker. He is always upbeat and has a great sense of humor. He did my colonoscopy 3 years ago. So I go see him about the lump and he refers me to a surgeon. He then asks me "Aren't you due for another colonoscopy?" MOTHERFUCK ME!!!!!! I was blindsided! Suckerpunched! Damn you Dr. Eughiokee! I did not come here to be pushed around about my health and to be reminded of the possible cancerous time bomb that is my colon! As a matter of principle I told him I wasn't due. He checked my records...... SO now I am scheduled for "violation" on August 20th. dammit.

I don't know how many of you have had a colonoscopy but it is quite the event. The day before, they give you 2 pills and a gallon of this horrid concoction that is engineered to make you empty the contents of your body. I'll go no further in the description of that as I have never been a big fan of literal toilet humor.

Anyway after you get through riding out "Hurricane Ass Blast" you have to go to the hospital the next day to get your ass probed.

When I had my colonoscopy I went to Crestwood. They immediately drugged me up and rolled me into a room with like 8 other people half out of their minds, blank faced, and I am assuming, their own "Post-Traumatic Hurricane Ass-Blast" syndromes to attempt to overcome. This is a huge room. We all have our own little privacy sections (curtain dividers). SO they come grab us one by one and take us to our torture rooms. They do this with the efficiency of a "Ten Minute Oil Change" place.

So I get rolled into the room. They turn me on my side and I'm watching the monitor. I remember thinking : "How cool is this shit? They actually have Empire Strikes Back playing to keep my mind off having my ass routed." I figured it was the scene when the Millenium Falcon flew down the throat of that huge lizard. I kept waiting to see a "mynoc" fly by or something. It never even cut to a view of the Millienium Falcon... What version is this? Is this the director's cut? Ok I get it already? We are in the lizard's throat. Next scene please!...For fuck's sakes where is Harrison Ford already?!" And then I realize.....

Unless they find a misplaced Han Solo action figure in my ass there will be no Harrison Ford on this monitor today! Damn these people get right down to  business! I didn't even feel anything. SO I am laying there high as fuck, eyes glazed over, making the most of my colon tour and Dr. Eughiogee tells me I may feel pressure as they have to fill my colon with air so the probe can move around more freely within the damn thing. I am in no position to disagree. You have a camera and a tool box up my ass doc!... Air is a mute point at this juncture.

I continue to watch the show as he maneuvers his instruments through my colon and we come across what looks like a lil water tower. I am doped out of my mind. I thought it was kind of cool looking. I mean as cool looking as anything can be when you are viewing the inside of the "ass-o-matic".

Dr. Eugioghee says in his deep African accent "That is a polyp." Then the lil probe deal lassoes the top of the water tower with a net and this other tool cuts it right off from the base. Then this other lil deal burns the rest of it down. Holy shit! They invaded the Iraq of my colon! At least we don't have to rebuild...

Now I know what it feels like to be abducted by aliens and anally probed. I kept waiting for E.T. to come through and take everyone's drink order.

So they roll me back to the grand ballroom of curtain dividers and ass probe victims. We all have the same "Can you believe this shit?" expression on our faces. I feel like I am about to explode. The nurse tells me that this is the result of all the air they pumped into my colon. She tells me I need to work on "de-pressurising" it. Huh?

So I am laying there imagining my colon being made into a balloon animal of some sort by a clown in a doctors outfit when I hear it! The next curtain over. "Squeeet!" WTF??  Someone just let a "squeaker". And then I hear a big booming "Beerrroute!" God damn? Did that curatin actually move? And then it starts..

I am in the "Fart Olympics". Everyone anonymously trying to outfart one another from behind their respective curtains. It's like a gastric Wizard of Oz..."Pay no mind to the man behind the curtain (as he farts)". 

Like I said before... I am no fan of literal toilet humor.. But farts... farts are fucking funny!!! It was "Fart Fest 05" a virtual lollapaloosa of ass hattery! Instead of dueling banjos I was hearing dueling assholes. I was lauging my ass off! Deep down I wanted to be an adult and respect the medical aspects of this situation but I couldn't... I tried.. but no. In fact the harder I tried to hold it in the more I laughed and the more my damn Macy's Day Parade Float of a Colon hurt. fart-laugh-fart-laugh-fart-fart-huge laugh-fart-laugh..and so on

I'm sure anyone standing outside my curtain had to be thinking I brought a hyena with me to the hospital. I was a full-on cackling bastard! I couldn't help it. Amid the myriad of various lengths and tones of this ass orchestra I kept thinking of every awkward moment I had ever witnessed when someone accidentally "stomped a frog" in the presence of others. I was stupid fucking giddy. Maybe it was the drugs? Maybe it was a methane buzz. I dunno but "Fart Fest 05" was the only shining moment of the whole colonoscopy experience.

After about 30 minutes of continuous farting the battle was coming to a close. Everyone was running out of ammunition. I equate it to making a bag of popcorn in the microwave. All of the main "popping" was done. Now there were only a few sporatic squeakers and beeps here and there. Well played my friends... Well Played.

 There was no clear winner but if I had to pick one... I'd say the guy to the right of me would be my pick. He sounded like he stomped a barrell of bull frogs throughout the competition. High quality farts. Every single one. They all had the impact of a lions mighty roar. This man is a man who believes in doings things right or not doing them at all. My ass is in awe of his ass. When he emerged from behind the curtain I expected to see a lumber jack looking fucker with the plaid shirt and all. He was 5 ft 5 and weighed maybe a buck-fifty. I wanted to give him a round of applause as he walked by. A heartfelt applause at that (aren't drugs great?).

Anyway... I obviously need some hobbies. I am a self aware man and I know that something is amiss if I am giving this much thought to something as mindless as air escaping ones ass...

Of course some people make money on the subject.... After watching This I figured I wasn't alone.... The funny thing is... "Fart Fest 05" sounded about like it...


Well shit... I guess I had better get ready to go to work. I hope you all have a great week and remember to eat more fiber.

Holler :)
Casey

Currently listening : 20th Century Masters - The Millennium Collection: The Best of the Commodores By The Commodores Release date: 1999-11-23

8:59 AM - 7 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Changes... I Crave ’Em and Hate ’Em
Current mood: stressed
Category: Life

Just so you know.... I don't really expect this blog to make any sense.... I am feeling something and here lately it has grown harder to express it. Maybe through the literary stumbling I am about to do here i will find out what has me so uneasy.......


Firstly, I lost another loved one a couple of weeks back. Terri. She was 42. So so young... As always, when I see someone go to their reward I start taking stock of my own life. What I have done. What I have contributed to.... What impacts I have had on those around me and those I love....

I don't want to get in to all the shit I wish I had done differently.  I'd rather try to figure out what I am going to do differently from here on out.  My passions have always been cartooning/drawing and writing.  I have a book that I think about daily and never even attempt to write anynmore.. Terri wrote 3 books ( I believe it was 3).  She just said she was going to do it and she did the shit. UNFUCKING REAL. She wanted me to read them but I never made the time. I really wish I had taken the opportunity to collaborate with her on those books. I think I have copies of them on my hard drive. I will read them someday..

(Trying to figure out where I am going with all this? Me too)

I guess the more I think about things the more I find I hate change..... My grandmother told me that a couple weeks ago... She said "Casey, You don't like change."  She knows me so well and we hardly talk (which in itself is shameful) Another person I should make more time for......

(I'm all over the place)

I know I am getting older and I know I don't like the shit.  Don't get me wrong... I don't have a Peter Pan complex. I'm not building a NeverLand Ranch anytime soon.  I think the thing that has fucked me up more than anything is I can remember being 17 years old and saying to myself "I know these are the best times of my life."  That statement carries alot of weight.   One,  Because I truly felt it to the bone and Two, Now that I am 37 I am desperately trying to prove that statement wrong. I can't walk around thinking it is all down hill from here.. I dunno. Is this a midlife crisis or am I suffering from the anxiety of knowing all our days are numbered? Maybe a midlife crisis is the symptom of knowing they are?  They probably go hand in hand. In fact, that's exactly what that is.

Let me take a break from all of this deep bullshit and gather my thoughts....  I do have a new complaint aside from "being mortal"....

COWBOY SILHOUETTES!!!!

I fucking hate them! Any assclown that sits there with a ban saw cutting out a wooden profile of a cowboy and painting it black has serious fucking issues.  WHO THE FUCK STARTED THIS TREND?! AND WHY?! Some slackjawed knuckle dragging flea market dweller with a Marlboro Man fetish? What kind of satisfaction could anyone get from creating one of these things? What does he do when he's done? Stand there proudly with his hands on his hips saying "NOW THAT THERE IS A COWBOY! YEEEEHAW!" Fucking crazy.... These things serve no purpose and I fail to see the artistic or asthetic value of these fuckers. HOWEVER,  I DO HAVE A PLAN TO DERIVE SOME JOY FROM THEIR EXISTENCE:

I am going to develop red bullet hole decals. 

Every time I see one of these assholes leaning against something (They are always literally leaning on shit) I am going to stick a bloody bullet hole right on the side of it's fucking head. Maybe I will stick bloody bullet holes all over it's fucking body and leave behind a silhouette of Al Capone holding a machine gun. Who knows..
BEFORE AFTER

ANYWAY... Back to my original issues.

So My idiot friends and I used to have a good time getting drunk and high back in the day doing freestyle raps over shitty disco music. In fact I even dedicated a page to that dumb shit here.. Do yourself a favor and don't listen... You have to be shitfaced to enjoy this stuff (even if you can at that point)
www.myspace.com/iaphiphop

SO I figure I would call some of my old friends from back in the day (you know, to get revitalized - "get back to my roots" type shit) and I get a hold of some of them. One is battling cancer (again), another is also battling cancer, and another just survived breast cancer..... These people are all younger than me and in better shape than I am...... Here I am 6ft2, 352 pounds, diabetic with high blood pressure and I tempt the karma beast daily with a shitty attitude and tons of fried food... YET these people have to fight for their lives?????

Again I say ...UNFUCKING REAL

 I have been going to water aerobics and eating better lately.. The supersticious side of me is telling me... "well shit... If you get back in shape you will get hit by a bus." but I know if I don't get my fat ass back in shape I am guaranteed to have some health problems. My family's gene pool is a perpetual pot pouri of health issues.

Ok I just read all of this shit I typed... After analyzing it I have come to these conclusions....

1) Time is precious and my "I'll do it tomorrow" attitude is costing me.
2) I need to go with my passions and follow through on things I am passionate about.
3) Family - Make the most out of every moment you can with everyone in your family. Make every interaction the best it can be.
4) Anyone that has a cowboy silhouette in their yard is a prime example of wasted time and energy. Someone wasted their time making the useless yard ornament and the home owner wasted their time nailing the piece of shit to his privacy fence or wall or garage door or whatever.
5) MUST DEVELOP MY BULLET HOLE DECALS FOR SILHOUTTE COWBOYS. It must be done.

Anyway... Im off to clean my house. It's fucked.

Holler,
Casey

P>S> I told you this would make zero fucking sense

UPDATE:  I just remembered that I forgot my parents' birthdays..... I am officially a fucking dreg of society at this point. Fuck me. fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck me.

Currently listening : 20 Greatest Hits By Climax Blues Band Release date: 2007-07-03

12:36 AM - 8 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Why Do They Do That Shit?
Current mood: blah
Category: Life

People never cease to amaze me.  The shit they do... The shit they think is "classy" or "original" or "inspiring" or "cool" that is actually quite the opposite.  Here are a few that have been knawing on me lately....

1. Those self important assclowns that walk around wearing their fucking bluetooth ear pieces for their phones.

   Me and my friend Raymond go to our favorite "wing spot" every Tuesday, "Wings to Go" (40 cent wings on Tuesdays after 4pm). So we are in there waiting on our wings and this fat, bald guy walks in wearing sunglasses and his "I'm important" cellular earpiece.  He walks up to the counter like it's a matter of national security and places his order. He then sits down at the table next to us. He doesn't take his glasses off and stares at the TV like an embalmed mannequin. I thought someone replaced him with a wax statue while I wasn't looking or something. He was so still.  SO he's sitting there watching the game as we are (I think.. I couldn't see his eyes for his fucking sun glasses) and the little light on his ear piece is flashing. I keep seeing it out of the corner of my eye and it is annoying the shit out of me! I don't know why it is annoying the shit out of me but it is.... Then I get annoyed at myself because I am letting this retard's little blinking bluetooth light annoy me. So as a result of this asshole coming in I am going to be fixated on his ear piece and pissed at myself for the duration of my wing eating experience.  Why does this guy's being clueless to the fact that he is a total douche piss me off?...... I don't know... but it does... BUT WAIT !!!!!! It gets better! His wife and kids show up!!! Surely the freelance secret service guy will drop his persona long enough to talk with his wife and kids like a normal human. I'm sure the glasses and ear piece are coming off at this point!!!!! Will I be able to enjoy my last 5 wings in peace????? FUCK NO!!! He sits there and talks to his wife and kids with the damn glasses and ear piece still on. This pisses me off even further.

  I really must have been fixating on this guy because Raymond knocked out most of his wings and I still had 5 more to go. As a rule, I destroy my wings long before Raymond gets close to finishing his. I am a wing machine. At this point I am so disgusted I get a to go box and leave.... The fucker didn't even get a phone call while he was sitting there. Hell, he probably only has his wife and brother-in-law in his contacts list.

  Anyway, in summation... You assholes that do the whole "ear piece thing" because you think it makes you look cool...It doesn't.  Just so you know...Everyone around you wants to rip that off your ear and shove it up your ass!!!

These other 2 groups of fuckers kind of go together. They have the same motivation but they do things slightly different yet equally as stupid.

2. These assholes that dedicate the vehicle they are driving to a dead relative or friend. Almost always there is a sticker in the back window that says "In Loving Memory of" and the poor bastards name who just got a Pinto dedicated to them. Of course the dates are also listed (1912 - 2001) or whatever.

  GIMME A FUCKIN BREAK! I see it all the time and I know there are  instances where it's ok. But most of the time..No. No it's not ok to dedicate your fucking old busted up ass Monte Carlo to "Grandpa Jake" or "Granny Mae" or "Pappy McGraw" or whatever slack jawed fucktard that would spawn a moron dumb enough to dedicate a car to a dead relative.

   Like I said before there are instances where it is OK to dedicate a vehicle to a relative. I have a friend that built a show car from the ground up. He fully customized this thing. He did all of this with the knowledge and skills taught to him by his grandfather. As a result, he dedicated the car to his grandfather. Perfectly honorable and awesome thing to do in my book.  Still, that is a far cry from Billy Joe-Bob and Bernice Whatchamafuck dedicating their Ford Ranger to "Aunt Birdie".... The guys on the assembly line weren't thinking about Aunt Birdie when they built the damn thing you assholes. They were thinking about going to the titty bar after work and drinking a beer or two. Not Aunt fucking Birdie!
What an effortless and clueless dedication you made Billy Joe-Bob. You should be fucking proud. Now go masturbate with a cheese graitor so we don't have to deal with any of your potential offspring. But hey, if you do knock Bernice up I'm sure you will be thrilled to see the kid dedicate his big wheel to you. "To Dedddy who hat me went I were a babey".  Dipshits..... Go rent some common fucking sense at your earliest convenience.

3. Last but not least are these maccabre, morbid mother fuckers that like to put crosses and flowers on the road sides and crash sites where friends and family "bit the big one" for lack of a better term.

  I was driving down the road the other day and there was like 45 people squeezed on to this fucking median where a car wreck occurred like a week earlier. Hell they were blocking everyone's field of vision and really made for an unsafe driving environment. I kept waiting for one of them to get hit which of course would lead to another group of assholes coming back later and putting yet another cross on the median and endangering more people. Who knows maybe it will create a cycle of  "deaths due to memorializing deaths" and before long there will be so many crosses on the median from "dedication accidents" there wont be enough room to do anymore dedications on that particular median. We can only hope..

  But seriously, don't these people have real tombstones elsewhere. WTF....

  Also, it really is just a bummer. I can't tell you how many times I'll be driving down the road thinking "what a beautiful day" only to look over and see a reminder on the side of the road that someones life ended while probably thinking the same thing when driving.

  For those of you that are about to tell me that it is a good thing because it reminds me that life is precious and to be more careful behind the wheel etc etc.... Fuck off. If I WANTED to have fear thrust upon me I would have voted for Bush. I didn't vote for Bush and I don't care to be reminded of someone's death at every street corner you morbid fucks.

 Anyway, that is my rant for today. As you can tell I am still in a shit mood. I have recently had a certain stupid motherfucker added to my life that I am forced to talk to on a regular basis (you know who you are you Jeffery Dahmer-looking beady eyed fuck) and I don't enjoy it. Hopefully it will pass:)

  You all be sure to use your hands free wireless ear pieces when talking on the phone while driving. Just remember to drive carefully and take that stupid fucking ear piece off before getting out of your car and coming into "Wings to Go". I'd sure hate to see a memorial on the sidewalk in front of that place..

Much Love,
Casey

Currently listening : Cargo By Men at Work Release date: 11 February, 2003

5:11 PM - 12 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Useless Random Ponderings
Current mood: bummed
Category: Life

I'm sitting here making a list of things I need from the store. I am so scatter-brained that I wrote the same thing on this list 3 times.
Here is my list thus far:
Razors
Starter Logs
Wine
Vodka
Razors
Cat Toys
Cat Nip
Dog Treats
Ice Cream
Razors

Now... If I were to drop this list in the parking lot of Wal-Mart or where ever... I'm sure who ever picks the thing up would be like "What the hell kind of a party is this guy having?"

Anyway...I'm not digging how things have been going lately. I feel out of sorts... I can't put my finger on any one thing. Maybe it's the weather. I'm not a winter person. I have always been of the opinion that it has no business being cold unless we get snow. I like snow. Snow is good shit in Alabama. Snow means that you go rent a week's worth of movies, buy all the bread, milk and eggs you can get, and lock yourself in the house for some quality hibernation. Snow days are the best times to relax because you truly can relax (In Alabama anyway) because you know everything is shut down.  No one is out there continuing to work and put you behind somehow. There is no catching up to do. We are equally screwed in the production department. The place becomes a ghost town except for those fortunate enough to be dragged around on inner tubes by four wheelers. I think one year a bunch of slack jaws were dragging eachother around behind a truck at Madison Square Mall and one of them met their demise courtesy of a light pole. That would suck.

  When I lived in Indiana it was quite a culture shock. Everyone in Indiana just drives through the snow and ice like it's all good. There seem to be alot of asshole truckers in Indiana too. I hated driving 465 in the snow because truckers would blow by you doing 85 miles an hour. The wind from them passing you alone about forces you to change lanes.

Anyway, back to my original point , I'm bummed and I know it is a number of little things. It's aggregate.... I can't figure out what I need to do to shake this funk. I've already exhausted all of my normal methods of crawling out of the hole.
I drove my Rottweiler crazy with my laser pointer.
I tortured my cats with my light sabers.
I thought up some new stuff for my "Slackjaw" page (I just havent done it yet - See procrastination blog. I even procrastinate when doing shit I enjoy).

Motherfucker!!!! I hate Nancy Grace.... I don't know why... (They just a showed a commercial for her on TV). She just annoys the shit outta me. My cousin Tawny and I recently found we had common ground in regards to Nancy Grace. Tawny hates her too.

I guess I don't like her because she seems to be attracted to the most heinous shit. She wants to be the first to run up to the scene and start rattling off of her passionate opinion about the shit. She's like an Ambulance chaser. She honestly can't be that heart broken over every single crime she covers. She would have off'd herself by now. And since she hasn't off'd herself I have classified her as a parasite of misery and deemed  her "full of shit" . Nancy Grace you must kill yourself to get back in my good graces.

   I think her accent also drives me up the fuckin wall which is weird because I am from the south. She just sounds like another vicious "holier than thou" gossiping hair dresser to me. How does she keep the intensity? She and Oreilly both really wear me out. What do they do to stay that way? They must be doing cocaine cut with Geritol. I just cant imagine being that pissed off all the time.

Anyway.. I'm gonna go buy cat toys and razors, and wine, and razors, and ice cream, and of course, RAZORS. :)

I hope all is well elsewhere in the Community O' My Space

Holler.
Casey

Currently listening : Anthology -38 Special By .38 Special Release date: 05 June, 2001

2:14 PM - 7 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

I am The Guru O' Procrastination!!!!!!
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Life

So far I have played with my light saber, made a playlist for my iPOD, did some doodling (See my new myspace background and default pic), discussed politics with my buddy Raymond, and burned a couple of DVDs. Guess how much of that I planned to do... NONE OF IT!!!! It was all a means to avoid doing these damn sheets I have to type up for work. They aren't hard. And once you get "rolling" on them they aren't that time consuming. I have just been dreading doing them and I really resent having to do them at home but I know if I attempt to do them at work I wont be able to get them done. There are simply too many fires to put out once the day starts.

  I have always been a major procrastinator. I've never had a huge attention span. Now if it is something that interests me then I will become an expert on the subject. I will dig and dive for more and more information. I'll investigate that shit like I'm being paid (or maybe not...If I'm paid then I "have" to do it). When it is something I "have" to do or "need" to do I automatically resent the task. I need someone to pay me to do what I want... The only problem with that is that it always changes. I like to draw.... but I blew my art scholarship because I don't like being told what to draw and when to have it done..... deadlines suck ass.

 I guess it boils down to discipline.  I need to discipline myself to follow through on these things.  It's just not the way I'm programmed.  Anyway,  I have had all week to do this shit and I haven't done it yet. I always wait to the last minute when my back is against the wall and "knock shit out".  I can't follow through unless that sense of urgency is there.  I'm like one of those assholes that dodges trains. I stand there until it almost hits me and I jump out of the way at the last second, nearly meeting my demise courtesy of the "Deadline Express". I don't always successfully pull it off.  I have left a perpetual arm or leg on the tracks before. 

  My sitting here typing about procrastination is a form of procrastination.  How jacked up is that!? I even went to a website about procrastination to continue procrastinating. It was a kick ass site with great advice but it obviously didn't sink in because I am still sitting here typing. Anyway here is the site.....http://www.getmoredone.com/tips2.html  Hopefully it will help those of you that are slightly less "task-retarded" than I. 

  Anyway. I guess I had better get to my work. I have to drive back up to Tennessee tomorrow.......

OR...... I could get my cousin to take some pictures of me holding my new light saber (spoken like a true nerd) and share them with you all because I know you are really fuckin interested in seeing it and this will further delay these fucking things I needed to start 3 days ago....Should I?! Ya think?!  

ahhh shit.... OK I'm going to work...... I hope you are all having a great Wed..... I always forget how to spell Wednesday...or is it Wedensday?  or Wendsday?  That last spelling definitely didn't look right... Ok I will google "Wed" ... be right back...

OK the verdict is in... It's "Wednesday"  I had it right the first time.. Being a product of the Alabama Public School System isn't all it is cracked up to be... Of course judging by my ability to follow through, short attention span, and how concerned I appear to be about deadlines I don't guess I can lay my short-comings at the feet of the honorable Mary Jane Caylor (she was the Superintendent of Huntsville City Schools from '84 to '91). Although the "pod system" at Ed White Middle School royally sucked nuts. In any event, you can go to the best schools in the world but if you don't pay attention....what difference will it make?

FUCK!!!!  See I am still doing it! I am still procrastinating... I said I was gonna get off here..... hold on let me scroll up......Ok, I said I was going to get of here and knock these damn things out 5 paragraphs ago... I'm pathetic...

Well shit.... I"m just going to duck my head and run through this shit......

Peace.
Casey

Currently listening : The Best of Keith Sweat: Make You Sweat By Keith Sweat Release date: 13 January, 2004

1:44 PM - 7 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

I hate Truckers!
Current mood: amused
Category: Life

Ok so I'm making my weekly pilgrimage to Tennessee. I got my cruise control on the trusty mini-van set at 75. I'm listening to my XM 80's and making the best of my trip. Ahead of me are a line of slackjawed meth head truckers. I don't mean to gerneralize. I'm sure some of these truckers are quite intelligent or at least read the sports pages here and there....Anyway I'm pissed so disregard my petty generalizations.........(fuckin greasy mullet toting unshaven assholes!) Ok... I'm done generalizing for real...(smokey and the bandit reject mother fuckers)... seriously...

Anyway... So one trucker decides to pass another. They drive side by side for an eternity so that this guy who wants to drive a quarter of a mile faster than the other wont be inconvenienced. But in the process he inconveniences me because he got in front of me to do this shit. I'm doing 75 and 80... these assholes are having a pissing contest over 65 and 67....

So the asshole finally gets his desired position ahead of the other truck and pulls over to the right lane so I can drive by. As I drive by I notice that the guy driving the truck looks just like I thought he would. He gives me a gap-toothed smile and waves happily in my direction. I wave back with a big smile on my face while muttering "you biscuit breath fucktard snuff dippin mother fucker". He's clueless and just keeps grinning.

If I were a braver man I would have given him the finger and actually screamed "Fuck You Billy Bob!" But I'm not stupid..... That guy is in a big bastard of a wrecking machine and I am in a "grocery getter" for fucks sakes.

With all of this going on I fail to notice I have corvette on my back bumper. I pull over to the right lane and let the vette go by. As the vette drives by I notice this relatively cute woman driving. I smile and wave. She gives me the finger, says a few choice words and speeds off.......

Karma is a bitch!

Strangely, this makes me happy and the rest of my drive is a breeze.

Currently listening : Cee-Lo Green... Is the Soul Machine By Cee-Lo Release date: 02 March, 2004

3:21 PM - 9 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

One Cool Cat
Current mood: determined
Category: Life

Ok... I know today is September 11th and normally I would use this occasion to further express my hatred of the Bush Administration and the Neo-Con Repubtards in general but I think my continued ranting on the subject has grown a little tiresome and bordering on unhealthy.

 We are fucked. We are all fucked (Thanks George!). End of Story... I'll leave it at that..

So now that I have opted out of my usual shiznit I will tell you about the latest developments in my life:

1) I have decided that I am not drinking coke/soda of any kind anymore.
2) I have decided that being a fat bastard isn't for me.
3) Well... shit.... That's about it... Not much happening with me...... I will however continue to bore you with a related story to number 2 on my ultra-interesting list.

So in order to lose weight I have decided that before I do anything with my day I will walk. I woke up at 5am and headed out the door. My cat "Jerry" .... well let me back up a minute.

The story of my cat "Jerry"

Jerry was one of 5 kittens. Jerry's mom died the day after he was born. The kittens were found and bottle raised by this family that had 3 little girls. This was a pet loving family. They live in south Huntsville and are pretty well to do.  The second floor of their micro mansion was a pet store for all intensive purposes.

They had chinchillas, ferrets, dogs, cats, snakes, lizards, pretty much everything in this one big family room. I kept waiting for a monkey to show up but he never materialized.

Anyway they had 3 of the kittens left. These 3 little girls spoiled these kittens rotten. The mom pretty much said that the cats hardly got to walk around because the girls would carry them around all the time. I can't help but think that this is the reason for my cat being so human like.

Jerry doesn't act like a regular cat. You can hold him anyway you want (Like a baby, a football, upside down) he doesnt care. You can rub his belly. He likes water. He leans against me while sitting up like a human on the couch to watch TV. He's truly a different kind of cat. He knows no fear. He thinks he's human. He really does. He doesn't do the standard "Meow". He does many variations of multi-syllable meows. I'm sure he is sharing some real deep cat knowledge with me in his language and he gets frustrated when I don't react