As the time winds down...
Current mood: anxious
Category: Life

The minutes seeming hours, the hours so much more,
 counting down the time til I can finaly walk through that door.
So much time gone past, ahead still seems so far,
 grit my teeth and push ahead, seeking a single star,
the star that lights the way, guiding which way I roam,
 finally a place to settle down, and finally call my home.
Waiting for me there, my soulmate smiles bright,
 I see now that there was no star, her face my guiding light.
Sorrows finally turn to joy, and no longer feel I fear,
 at last I find the voice to speak, Thank the gods, I'm finally here.

For some reason after starting this poem I can't seem to get myself out of the rythem thing... lol. But it was the easiest way for me to clue you all in. How in the hell I got lucky enough to land the perfect gamer girl, ..... I have no fuggin clue. Oh wait, that's right... she's the one that clicked the button. >.>

Somehow it seems that everything bad in life isn't quite so much anymore. After all, it led me to my soulmate. I don't think that we could compliment each other much better... (and we fit perfectly while spooning!)

Anyway, the point is to say that yes. I'm packin up my very few belongings and going to be with the one that I love. Life is soon to begin anew... Jaz 2.0 baby! I'll be leaving the 30th of May to persue a new career, live in a new house, with a new family. All things said and done, it's looking mighty good for me. Here's to hoping that she doesn't get sick of me in the first week! o.O

You want the low down? Send me some love and I'll give ya what info I can. Til that point know that you all have influenced me in one way or another over the past few years and that part of me will always be here in K town. But now is the time that I start living, and what better way to do that than with your perfect match? lol

My thanks goes out to Melissa, my love, my soulmate. Thank you hon for being patient and understanding. And thank you for choosing a goob like me. I love you babe, and our life together will not be anything short of amazing. ^^

I have a sneaking suspiscion that my activity here will be kicking up within a few short weeks... I'll actually have new fun and interesting things to write about aside from WoW. lol And believe me... I look very much forward to that. Til that time, love you all, may all the gods watch over you in whatever you may do, and remember me, for what little I may have influenced you, at least in the end, I did, and you can damn well be sure that I'll do the same. MUCH LOVE!!!

4:11 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Chili Taster...
Current mood: amused

Found this while I was perusing some forums... laughed my fucking ass off.

Chili taster (R-rated)

The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off.

The Judge #3 called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 -- (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili # 2 Arthur's Afterburner Chili

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.

Judge # 2 -- A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.

Chili # 4 Bubba's Black Magic

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB. bitch is starting to look HOT . . . just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!

Chili # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

Judge #3-- I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like poop to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8 Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?

2:17 PM - 2 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

A prayer of sorts...
Current mood: peaceful
Category: Religion and Philosophy

For those of you who actually came to read this, thank you. Just wanted to be able to tell you that.

I don't know who follows what religion... don't necesarily think that it matters. At this time of year really the thing that should matter to you most are the family and friends around you.

I wanted to take this moment to tell any and all of you thank you. No matter who you are, or how much that we speak, I realize that somewhere in my life, I was graced with the fact that you touched me. For a moment, perhaps maybe longer, we shared ideas, perhaps a beer, companionship, and who knows what else in this crazy thing that is my life.

I feel somewhat guilty for not being able to show each an every one of you the depth of this feeling. To not be able to personally tell you thank you aside from a letter seems somewhat cheap to me, but, alas, it's all I have, and until I can actually get my own place, the party that it would be would have to wait.

To all my friends and family, new and old, Merry Christmas, Happy Yule, or Joyous whatever it is your celebrating at this time of year. My thoughts and prayers to the Mother/Father go out to all of you.

To my children... Daddy misses you. He really wishes that it could be different, but we just have to make the best of what we are given. Perhaps as the years go by you will understand better than even I have managed. My love and thoughts go out to and envelope you. You are assuredly the strongest and most constant light at the end of my oft times dark tunnel. *hugs and kisses* I miss you guys...

To friends... Seeing as none of us are together and we're all doin our own thing with the familys, this is just my blurb saying that despite the fact that this is more a traditional family holiday than anything, that I'll still be throwing a party in my pants of which, yes, your still all invited to. *hugs and kisses to those that need/want em* Hopefully you'll be seeing more of me at least in the coming year.

If you know me at all, then you know at this exact moment of what I think of you, or if you don't, well, you wouldn't be reading this message if you weren't in my thoughts. Peace and much love to all of you. Here's to hoping that you all get what you deserve and want for the holidays.

Blessed be

J

6:32 AM - 5 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Squirrely Wrath!!!
Current mood: dorky
Category: Web, HTML, Tech

For those of you who don't know, I am a Neurotically Yours Fanatic. I think that Foamy is the coolest fucking squirrel in the world and Germaine... well... the things that I would do to Germaine. Anyway, this is one of the lastest toons to come from Illwillpress.com and I think a few people on my friend list may enjoy it. For you lady card players... this one's for you.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/352883

9:23 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

PvN, the War Continues...
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Writing and Poetry

Do to the fact of so many pirates v ninjas comments I've been seeing I went online and found this to prove to any and all. Read it and weep you scurvy dogs!

Counterpoint: Ninja: the silent killer

Greg Gangelhoff

Often people ask me simple questions like 'what did you eat for dinner?' or 'why is there a bloody knife in your room?' I answer them flippantly and move on with my life. But sometimes a question comes along that gets at the very nature of existence, that incites such emotion in my breast that my certainty is unshakable. The question of pirates versus ninjas is one such question. Come hell or high water, ninjas will always annihilate pirates.

Ninjas are the international symbol for power. According to the most awesome website in the world, ninjas are Real Ultimate Power, and we all know the internet never lies. Ninjas never take breaks from fighting because fighting is their life. They are an untamable force of nature with the strength of a tsunami and the finesse of a jet plane. They decapitate with reckless abandon and have absolutely no problem attracting women.

If there were an awesometer with a scale of 1 to 10, ninjas would rank a freaking incredible.

By the way, does anyone wonder why Chuck Norris is so awesome? I do. It's because he's a black belt in karate, which is like a second-tier ninja. Imagine Chuck Norris turned up to eleven and you have one billionth of the ferocity that is the ninja. If there were ever a 'Ninja Texas Ranger,' the television might explode from an overload of unleashed power. Of course, that show will never exist because no ninja can be tamed by a mere camera.

In a full-on battle between ninjas and pirates, ninjas would rape, pillage and plunder both the pirates' bodies and their dignity. Pirates can't react to what they can't see, and guess what happens when a pirate tries to fire a puny projectile at a ninja master? BLAM! Ninja smoke and a seriously sharp sword neatly cleaving your crotch in two. Deal with that.

When a ninja flips out, people flee in much the same way the Japanese used to evade Godzilla. When a pirate flips out, you know what you get? Johnny Depp doing a bad Keith Richards impersonation. Plus, Johnny Depp is French. Subtract 10 cool points from the pirates.

The only feasible venue where a fight between pirates and ninjas wouldn't be a slaughter is on the high seas. Some people - I won't name anyone out of respect for ignorance - say that a pirate ship is impervious to ninja assault. Not so. So you say you've never seen a ninja swim? Guess what, ninjas would never tell anyone they can swim. It's their ace in the hole. While the pirates are chortling and accessorizing their bandanas, the ninjas have already shot through the water at roughly the speed of sound and are making mincemeat of the meathead marauders

7:12 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Scandalous...
Current mood: blank
Category: Life

You know its funny. I just came into solid proof of something that has nagged my mind for some time. What exactly it does to me, I can't really comprehend. I'm not angry, or upset. I had known it in the back of my mind and guiltily pushed the plaguing thoughts away in hopes that I would never come across something like I did.

I have managed to put up just about a mile of walls around my heart since those days and its not to say that this has breeched those walls, but just given me more materials of which to put up even stronger defenses.

Is it so hard to be true to the one you love? I envy the stories that I hear and some couples that I see. I want so much to be like them. I want someone to understand and accept me for who I am, and be happy with all that I can give and not be taken for granted. And most important, I don't want to be lied to. Especially from the one of whom supposedly holds my heart.

I understand why it's so hard for me to make true friends these days. It's a trust issue. Having been stabbed in the back by 2 supposed friends, 1 best friend and 4 if not 5 (maybe 6) times by the one that was supposed to love me as opposed to only the 2 that I've known for the last 3 years. It's still a wonder that I have any blood left in me and that my sanity is still at least somewhat intact. Kinda like the assasination of Julius Ceasar... E tu mi amore?

Heh, apparently the soap opera continues...

Well, it at least gives me hope to realize that I'm still top kisser and I can deal with second in the bed department *shakes an angry fist at Bennett* Damn you B!

Thanks for your time everyone

/rant off

9:29 PM - 6 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

When the World Sleeps...
Category: Blogging

I sit in front of a computer and think on life...

I think of the many people that have touched my life, in one way or another, and no matter what I try, I can never say thank you in enough ways to show those who have been seriously "true" to me the appreciation they deserve.

I think on the person that I am, compared to the rest of the world. A 26 year old soon to be divorcee with three kids and a decent job. But it just doesn't seem that I can be quite happy about that. So many more things on my list that I still want to achieve and the means to do them out of my grasp. (I hope at least this is only temporary)

Would you consider me weird because at my age I still enjoy and play videogames? To the point that I'd rather do it than watch TV cause really, there isn't anything worthwhile to watch these days.

I love movies and anime, these are actually the only two forms of television that I really watch. Many times I will go out to the videostore and come home with like 5 or 6 movies and marathon them. I'm a kind of critic when it comes to movies, I make comments through out, can hardly ever stop talking. This annoys some people. Meh, nothing I can do about it.

As for Anime, I've been a cartoon addict for years, and let's face it, the cartoons these days just suck ass. More adult oriented and the content is just that much cooler to watch. Demons, Swords, Sorcery, Mechs, Drama... the japanese just know what is cool.

Music is another passion I enjoy. I dance and sing to myself all the damn time, it's become second nature and I no longer realize that I geek bop to a silent tune in my head until someone at work will look at me weird and say "What the hell are you doing?" Something about music that just does something for me, I love to dance and act the fool and it's always more fun to do with friends, hence the reason why I enjoy dance clubs and I miss the shit out of raves.

My sexuality is a questionable thing these days. I'm a freak, I'll admit it. Too much shit has happened to me to make me realize that love and sex are two entirely seperate entities and I personally have put somewhat of a hold on the love aspect. I enjoy sex, and my list is somewhat extensive of things that I've done that the average joe hasn't and I'll just leave it at that.

I'm Wiccan, for those of you who don't know its a religion, in layman's terms its a pagan belief which means it technically is older than Christianity. No this is not a barb to those that follow God. One of the key factors of why I believe in it is that it teaches open mindedness in its followers as well as spellcraft and believing in majick (no that isn't spelled wrong). Acceptance and respect for yourself, the people around you, and the world around you are key concepts that ring close to my own personal nature.

So as to steal from someone's pages I was recently perusing, the best description I can think of for myself is simplistic complexity. See if you can figure that one out. Hint, my life is a paradox. lol

Anyway, I'm out, gotta get my kids up and ready for school and the day. Much love all.

4:39 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Mother of all Rants...
Current mood: angry
Category: Life

Talls, I'm about to make you proud...

Yeah, it's about that time... I imagine that this is going to be long, somewhere in the process I imagine I will share more of myself than a few of you are comfortable knowing about and I may even piss some off with my views. But, just needs to be done cause I have to get it out.

It started with me getting in the car, prepping for a 4 hour drive to go see my kids, and as the mind has a tendency to do while careening down the highway, off it wandered into it's own sordid world.

I was born in CA. I am not from MN orginally, but was moved here when I was all of about 3. I don't hate the state, but as I grow older I find that I am disliking it more. It's too fucking cold during the winter without the trade off of enough snowfall to even make a decent tunnel system/fort or getting me out of work. Hence it annoys me. Beyond that I've always been a mountain/forest kinda guy, and honestly as I drive for 4 hours and see the same damn landscape the entire time with only minor differences it pisses me off. How the hell did I end up here in this frozen wasteland and why the hell is it that I can't seem to escape it.

So of course to pass the time while on this wonderful road trip I flick on the radio. What do I hear? Lips of an Angel - Hinder, and after that Unfaithful - Rihanna, and it got me to thinking. Why the hell is it that these songs that describe cheating in one matter or another are so fucking popular? Sadly for me, when I hear these songs they only serve to bring back painful memories that I would rather leave forgotten in some dark recess of my mind, to aquire cobwebs and mold and preferentially never see the light of fucking day for the rest of of my known existance. And yet, somehow, these tunes have managed to climb to the top of the charts, forcing the DJ's to just stick the damn disc in and hit repeat 1 for all the amount of times that you hear them.

Finally, the DJ's break in to give an update on all the news about the recent elections. Yay... politics... never really has been my favorite subject. I can't seem to get behind the idea of supporting people whose main form of trying to get into office is by digging up and divulging the dirtiest shit they can on their opponent. And that is honestly only a small point on a ton of reasons why I hate the American political system and government in general. Here we are, the world's largest super power and our president opts that we must go and fuck around in other countries that are less civil because A.) They aren't democratic B.) They are apparently making a play to become a Super Power, and you have to ask us before you can do that C.) Our country has apparently a point to prove, something about we are largest swinging dick out there, aka just being a fucking bully. It's these few reasons and many more that I haven't listed that really just piss me off and kind of make it embarrassing to call myself an American. Ands it's unfortunate that this is due to the fact of the actions of a scant few. Were it the fact that all the money that we sunk into the War in Iraq would have went to something more worthwhile, say, funding pharmacutical companies for cures to the shit ass diseases out there, or finding a way to get the money back to the schools that are going fucking broke trying to press sports as opposed to art/education. Okay GW, you made your fucking point, stop killing America's sons and daughters and bring them all home where they belong.

Along those lines I really wouldn't mind if somehow we could just scrap the entire law system and start from square one. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there that thinks the American legal system is shit. Quit being dinks about stuff and crack down, giving out this and that because you have info or the fact that you have enough money to pay off certain individuals is a travesty. Oh yeah, and all lawyers should be shot. Too many good people have gotten fucked because of the silver tongued ass munches out there. Seriously I think that being a lawyer should be a volunteer job, paying just as much shit as the rest of the common work force. Maybe then this would encourage the fuckers to look at the law more like it is rather than trying to find every fucking loophole possible to get a killer back out on the streets just cause he's paying you a grand an hour.

And off of that is the fact that I don't understand why it is that 2 percent of the worlds population lays claim to 90 something percent of the wealth. I bitch about this because of the fact that the world according to the way I see it runs very close to the golden rule of money = power. And sadly enough, I really don't want to begin to think about how many of those individuals are or belong to some kind of criminal organization. Seeming that it is easier to get money by living outside the law rather than within, really gives mankind a great light, don't it?

And people seem to think it weird that there are mom's out there pullin trix just so they can get food on the table. No, it's not the fact that these individuals deserve what's coming to them, they are doing what they know because they don't know better... the double edged sword to this whole ideal is the fact that we want more for less. It's the american way. In the above example I begin to understand why it would be that a woman would sell her body for money and a few minutes as opposed to slaving away at some factory working overnights and barely making enough to keep the roof over their heads and the food on the table. I mean, really, where does the blame lie in this case?

So anyway, onto other things, this going back a few days pre-Halloween, once again dealing with radio DJ's. As I was heading home I happened to catch part of a to be unnamed morning radio show dealing with the fact of Wiccans and the pagan religion in general as part of their daily line up.

Bah... kiddies are getting up... I'm off, will try and get back to this later, stay tuned, for later in the show...

Sexual preference, Religion, Child Support, Transportation, Relationships and much much more!!!

5:15 AM - 5 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

It Still Burns...
Current mood: discontent
Category: Life

Will it ever end? I keep asking myself this question. Trying my hardest to just put it away and let it be. It won't stop. Always the quiet moments, when I'm alone. When I can't manage to put something, anything before it, letting me deny it's existance. You would think... no, perhaps thinking is the reason.

Time... fly faster please, perhaps distance will help. *sigh* Something... anything. Just let me escape it... it hurts. Let me be free of it... it drags me down. Just let me be...

4:34 AM - 6 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Inevitable Return of...
Category: Writing and Poetry

Of course, ya knew it was going to happen eventually. My life would slow down to the crawl that it is of being single and having no one to talk to but you guys.

Hard to say but true, when I'm interested in someone, I try to make it a point to never be in the house, raging against the hermit that is apparently the other natural half of me. Maybe cause I wanna make sure that I'm not missing anything while cooped up in my hole or what, I don't know.

Regardless, I figured I'd check back in and see how all my favorite readers and friends are and tell you that I miss you all terribly and if you wanna get me outta the house, give me a call or something. I'll be available, I promise. . .

Some insight as to what has been going on with me in the past few months: Last you all heard, I had met up with Jen. A glorius girl who had the cohones to just up and invite me out for a drink despite the fact that she knew next to nothing about me through myspace. Yes, this is where the term "From Myspace, to Myplace" is coined, was totally so.

Long story short, that relationship is over. Those that know the whole shebang know what happened and feel for me, and for those that don't, well, you can more or less figure the whole thing out by looking around a bit (a little click here, and a blog or two there).

And it seems all in all that I'm back to square one in relationshipville. And personally, I think I'm finally happy with that. Being as I have come to terms with my expectations for what I want in the woman that I will call my next wife (and I'm not completely sure about the whole marriage thing), I've realized that it will probably be some time until I find someone that I can feel totally comfortable around to the point that I could even consider the serious options.

Bleh, sick of talking about that crap.

Anyway, I had been digging around through some of my belongings on Friday to find a costume for a party I was heading to when I came across a book of poetry. Imagine my surprise when I realized that it wasn't any of mine, nor that of Amanda's, but in fact it had belonged to Susan. My first "serious" relationship from nearly ten years ago. Flipping through it I came to realize exactly how much of a writer she actually was and I never realized it. I'll give you a few examples and let you decide...

(Will finish after work)

PS, publiced all my crap, feel free to look around for entries that you haven't seen. Much love to any and all. ^^

2:30 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment