A BIG “THANK YOU!” ...

.. to all of my new blog subscribers .. Hi, Y'all!

Sending you a warm "THANKS!" .. and also wanting to say how much I appreciate your support and encouragements.

Below is a list of some of my short stories and prose pieces in the blog section which I thought you might enjoy.

Think of this as a treasure hunt... you'll have to find the stories first before you can read them!

Here's a clue: Go into (View All Blog Entries) and scroll down 'til you see "Older" and "Newer".. Then click on one and see where it takes you. :)

Beijos,
oox Catherine "badcat" Badin


A CUP OF COFFEE?...
A NEW YEAR'S EVE CRESCENDO
A SHORT STORY FOR THOSE WHO CAN - Part I
HE WAS REJECTED
L.A. ROOMS
MEET MY RUBBER DUCKY...
MIDDLE-AGED FART HUFFER
OUT OF PLACE
SEVEN HAIKU
SUPER BOWL, SCHMOOPER BOWL!
THE CREEPY CRAWLIES...
THE JOHN HAMMOND BLUES
THE LAZY MAN'S WAY
THE LEGEND OF BILL KITTY
THE LITTLEST CHRISTMAS TREE
VOICES
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN....

10:25 PM - 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

PEEK-A-BOO... WE SEE YOU!

I've been watching CNN and C-Span to see how the media has been handling the debacle of the RNC. Today I listened to CNN's Campbell Brown as she attempted to get a straight answer.. or rather, ANY answer, from Tucker Bounds.. boy, what a sleaze. He sounded just like one of Hitler's henchmen.. evading her direct questions re: Palin; talking over her every word; and sounding like a broken record. I found him to be vile, evil and disgusting.. a completely programmed robot. Yeeccchhhhh.

I heard on C-SPAN yesterday that at one time Palin was offering a $150 bounty for EACH wolf killed in Alaska.. I really hope someone will investigate this further and bring it to the awareness of the American people. That alone should put to rest her b.s. re: "caring" for nature and wildlife! I also learned that Bush's speech writer wrote her incendiary speech. Gee, what a surprise!

I wish there was some way to put more attention on the fact that McCain made all nicey-nice towards Obama in his acceptance speech so he wouldn't look like the "bad guy".. while in effect he was a total coward and had Fred Thompson, Rudy Giuliani and Palin do his dirty work instead. Puh-leeeze!! Giuliani and Palin's attacks were smarmy, below the belt, and lacking in grace. But, what else would you expect from neo-cons?

As far as being "pro-America," Sarah Palin is un-American.. considering having certain books banned from the public library?.. aggressively promoting drilling in Alaska to further pollute what's left of our natural land reserves? She's really pathetic and I don't respect her at all.

I watched FOX News today just to see what "the enemy" was spreading in terms of lies against Obama.. and they kept harping on how more people had watched Palin's speech than had watched Obama's acceptance speech at the DNC.. Well, that only happened because a lot of us Democrats were watching her and the others to see what lies they would perpetrate on the American public. Believe me, she didn't disappoint! Actually, I think she's pretty scary. Not only that, watching the RNC was absolutely frightening, and one couldn't help but notice the major absence of people of color - whether Blacks, Hispanics, Asians or other ethnicities. I counted 9 blacks in the entire audience! If that doesn't remind one of a Hitler rally, then I don't know what does.

I'm wondering when some esteemed reporter will bring to light that even though Obama plans to cut taxes for 95% of the American people, McCain STILL continues to lie, lie, lie and claim that Obama is going to raise taxes! (I just heard him say so again today..) This is infuriating to me and totally unfair. I have really had it with that kind of dirty campaigning. As Obama declared so passionately in his speech, "ENOUGH!"

Also, I wish Anderson Cooper would STOP giving Palin so much media attention! Most of us here in Portland, Oregon think she's disgusting and evil, and the more free PR he gives her the more he strengthens the Republican party. The truth is, every single thing the Republicans stated they stood for at the RNC is the exact OPPOSITE of what they really care about. And, don't you think it's strange that Bush didn't even bother to show up at his own party's convention other than by satellite? Whoah!

Finally, I think it's appalling that NO ONE has yet to pick up on the end of McCain's' speech. I counted 8 times when he kept yelling, "Fight with me!.. Fight with me!.. Fight!.. Fight!.. FIGHT!" Isn't it blatantly clear that he's in a time warp and wants to bomb the heck out of Iran? If that's not scary, then I don't know what is!

I pray to God every day that the American people see through all the smoke screen hoopla and elect Barack Obama as our next President. Our country is hurting, and our country is in trouble; and this much I know for certain.. we cannot afford another four years of "Bush country." If Barack Obama doesn't win the election, we as a nation and as a people will be in some deep s**t.

copyright 2008 by C.S. Badin

5:30 PM - 5 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

THE BEST SYNDICATED TV SHOW YOU’RE NOT WATCHING..

HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREETS, hands down, which successfully aired for almost seven years from 1993-1999, and is now in syndication.

Sure I still love BUFFY and her Scoobies, as well as ANGEL--they're both clever, well-written, witty shows which present a well-oiled ensemble cast at its best. And I'll always love SIX FEET UNDER for its quixotic writing, highly original premise, and fabulous characters who--for the first time on TV--really spoke their minds to each other as "real" people might actually speak to each other in "real" life. And no, of course I haven't forgotten about DEAD LIKE ME, another great show headed by the multi-talented Mandy Patinkin, which combined sophisticated comedy with the inescapable inevitability of actually meeting up with The Grim Reaper. (Did I mention yet that I like "dark" stories about life and death?)

But, all of these shows pale in the grander scheme of things when compared to the brilliance and incredible believability of the seasoned ensemble cast, magnificent writing, directing and editing, and its enduring characters with their endearing character flaws which make up HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREETS. Brainchild of Paul Attanasio, who is now the executive producer of HOUSE, HOMICIDE has the "it" factor in spades. In fact, HOMICIDE has it all. Am I gushing? Tough nuggies.

Now, if you're gonna go bringing up NYPD BLUE you might as well stop reading right now, 'cause that show made me want to go slit my wrists. NYPD BLUE just wished they could've reached the creative heights and gut-level-reality drama that HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREETS was able to so effectively deliver each and every week. Plus, the camera work on NYPD BLUE always made me dizzy. It's as if the cameramen were so embarrassed by the bad writing, the ultra-monotonal hushed voices, and all those nauseating pregnant pauses that they purposely tried to divert our attention by shooting "artsy" vertical pans. That's my theory, anyway. Conversely, the handheld camerawork on HOMICIDE is superb; the camera choices are perfectly suited to each storyline, actually enhancing the intention of the scene; and the editing is masterful.

Of course, shooting HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREETS actually on the streets of Baltimore, MD had lots to do with the in-your-face ambiance and reality factor of the show. Add to that the melding of a fine ensemble cast who, each in their own right, brought his or her own character to actual three-dimensional life, and you can't help but end up with a winning combination. This series delivers a fast-paced "film within a tv show" experience that slams most other episodic dramas right out of the water.

Plus, it didn't hurt that Barry Levinson was the Executive Producer on the series. And just in case you've been living in a cave somewhere and you've never heard of Barry Levinson, he directed such notable films as TIN MEN, DINER, THE NATURAL, GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM, WAG THE DOG, and last but not least, TOOTSIE. Levinson was born in Baltimore and clearly has a huge soft spot in his heart for the City, as he is also a minority owner of the Baltimore Orioles baseball team.

Nor does it detract from the facts to have had some of the best actors in the biz make up the ensemble cast. Over the series run the following actors gave up what it takes: the inimitable Andre Braugher, comic Richard Belzer, Ned Beatty, Kyle Secor, Yaphet Kotto, Isabella Hofmann, Peter Gerety, Clark Johnson, Jon Polito, Jon Seda, Reed Diamond, Callie Thorne, Michelle Forbes, Michael Michele, Toni Lewis, Giancarlo Esposito, Melissa Leo, Daniel Baldwin and Max Perlich. And in this series their performances are subtly enhanced by working off each other so that we, the viewer, are able to suspend all disbelief as their characters effectively break the third wall and let you in. You are THERE. It feels REAL.

For example, Richard Belzer's and Kyle Secor's characters bring to light comic and spiritual relief to the otherwise daily horrors of death and victims in the city. Belzer's "Detective Munch" (yes, the same character who successfully migrated over to LAW & ORDER: SUV) constantly quips with philosophic, almost Sartre-like platitudes on all topics of life, love and insanity reminiscent of Voltaire's observations on the sufferings of humanity. Kyle Secor's "Detective Bayliss" gives off a certain calm, quiet, almost Buddha-like vibe which covers up an inner soul tormented by intensely passionate feelings of righteous indignation; and although he is able to verbally express his feelings, he is simultaneously incapable of acting on them due to his spiritual beliefs. Fascinating stuff.

The other cast members have also realistically embodied their respective characters--all interestingly developed and internalized, all uniquely individualized, and all expanding and growing in directions utterly and totally believable. But I don't want to be a "spoiler" here, so I'm not going to spell it all out for you. Instead, I invite you to tune-in and discover for yourself the varied and eclectic myriad of details, actions/reactions, and interpersonal exchanges shared in the actors' relationships to each other which make up the complex character developments and subsequent "must see" addiction that comprises the show's core audience. You'll find action, comedy, drama, pathos, philosophy, political musings, sadness, loneliness, love and wit.. all the elements of daily life.. and all characterized in this show.

Another unique element of the show is that there aren't any particular "formulas" to HOMICIDE, and not all cases are neatly wrapped up and/or solved. Sometimes there are story arcs lasting several episodes. Sometimes an arc will disappear as if finished--then suddenly reappear again several months later in a nifty tie-in to another case. Am I gushing again? Oh, sorry! I just cannot speak highly enough of this show.. this tribute to the gritty and realistic east coast city that is Baltimore, MD.

And hey, the cinematographers are no slouches, either. They're the ones primarily responsible for the visual "feel" and grimy action scenes of the show. HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREETS is absolutely brilliant in its' visuals, as with each chosen handheld angle the camerawork creates a perfect geometry that juxtaposes intimately to the actual story line. That, coupled with the consistently excellent choices in background music combine alchemically to make each episode play out like an exciting, well-choreographed ballet.

So, if you consider watching stories about homicide detectives in Baltimore, Maryland engaging with one another as real-time human beings showing off their respective "human frailties" -- at times waxing philosophic, perhaps even belying spiritual undertones.. and who, while unfolding their personalities to us and to each other during their day-to-day detective duties also express themselves as "Every Man" living the beautifully exquisite, mysterious dance of life.. and you happen to also become enraptured by such a show being able to generate those same feelings within you -- then you might just love this show. If you get it in syndication in your area, why not give it a whirl? I can guarantee you one thing for sure.. it's the real deal.


copyright 2008 by C.S. Badin

9:38 PM - 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

A BIT OF THIS’N’THAT...

Paparazzi Schmaparazzi!

It's a paparazzi drag, for all those paparazzi hags
Who need the services of those sleazy mags
Just to give their careers the same "boost" as their bra sizes.


The Yin And Yang Of Being Human

Happy/Sad
Glad/Mad
Good/Bad.
Light/Dark
Birth/Rebirth
Life/Death.
And let's not forget
God's funny bone test!


My Very Own Quote!

"Technology is satan reaching out with his/her ugly, gluttonous tentacles to try and suck us all in and trick us into believing that we're actually "getting somewhere" when, in actuality, we're wasting more and more time and getting much less done!"
C. S. Badin

Here, Kitty Kitty!

oh, no!
I never question my kitty-dog..
he is my temple cat
and also my best watch dog!
as he presides regally over my front yard;
he's also my very best friend dog.
without Bill in my life,
well, y'know by now?..
I'd probably be somewhere off, dead.
so, i forgive him those rare and few moments
during his and my shared lifetimes together,
when he has proudly brought home to me
some precious remnant present of a mouse or a bird,
once alive, but now pretty much gone from this world. :(
yet, knowing Bill is at once loving and with an open heart,
I'm sure their deaths weren't necessarily all his fault ;p
he merely found them and wanted to show them off -
to prove to me he could still bring home the hunt,
and also, to assure me how much I'm still loved.. :)
now you can't fault a great cat for that, can you? ^:^
ox badcat


MY FATHER'S BIRTHDAY

My father's birthday was last Wednesday...and even though he's dead, I could still feel him with me-- His vast arms covering me and encircling me just like the Archangel Michael. My father was a special man--a holy man--a businessman. He was multi-dimensional in an earth plane existence, while I am multi-dimensional in an outer plane existence. The great thing about my father was that at the end, I really felt he understood me. We thought alike on many important issues about life, and I am grateful to have known him. I feel sadness, though, at all the times I didn't reach out to him. I can imagine now how hurt he must have felt that I didn't immediately want to go down to Rio and join him when I turned 18 and was finally free of my mother. And had I, I would have had such a different life! But, who knows...que sera, sera and all that. Still, my father was well-liked, even well-loved, by all in his city.

My father once told me he, and therefore I, were related to Kahil Gibran--by some marriage waaaaay back in the past somewhere, involving a distant cousin's marriage or something. I believe him, I just have a terrible memory and didn't write it down. Ha, Ha! That's rich coming from a writer! But, all apologies implied, I know for a fact that I am related on my grandmother's side to Sir Walter Scott. Heck, I've often thought that I most probably was Sir Walter Scott!.. but never mind. The importance of my even bringing up either story is, really, to validate the fact that there's a very good reason I'm a writer--which is, well.. it seems to run in the family!

copyright 2008 by C.S Badin

5:25 PM - 9 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

LETTER TO THE NEW YORKER

Yep, it's a "mini-blog" this week 'cause I just couldn't wait until Friday to post this. Un-frickin'-believable!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I found your cover depicting Barack and Michelle Obama as flag-burning terrorists to be not only repugnant, but politically irresponsible... to say the very least. Satire is one thing, and this image may have been "just okay" to slip under the radar and land on the inside of your magazine along with the accompanying article (after all, we do still live in a supposed free country with supposed freedom of speech). But to put it on your cover? Satire or not, your editors just didn't think this through! There are a whole lot of folks right here in the U.S. who can't even read, let alone understand the implications of "satire." So, what if those people take it seriously? What if the "backwoods redneck" or inner-city slum chick sees your cover and believes it to be true? Are you prepared to take responsibility for the very real possibility that some folks might actually be swayed by your cover.. swayed enough to vote for John McCain? Heaven forbid!

Catherine Badin
Portland, OR

7:31 PM - 8 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

ON THE PERILS OF LIVING IN PORTLAND...

When I first moved to Portland in August of 1998, I lived in South East--an area housing lots of young families, younger white Rastas, and very old people. I'd rented a duplex, and the elderly lady who lived in the adjoining unit greeted me with this warm introduction, "The couple before you never cleaned up after themselves, and they left their empty beer bottles all over the place..." pause for effect.. as she cut her eyes, first to the left focusing on another duplex across the street, and then back to me stating very matter-of-factly, "That place over there is for rent." Hunh!

Next, I rented a basement apartment which was touted as "extremely quiet" and "you can't hear us upstairs at all!" When, in actuality I could hear them chopping vegetables on their plastic cutting board. Plus, they'd neglected to mention owning not one, but two extremely overweight cats. Now I adore cats.. actually, I love them like children. BUT, when you're living beneath uncarpeted hardwood floors and there are two overweight felines, each weighing approximately 25 pounds, and they are constantly running up and down, up and down on said wooden floors, well.. you get the picture of how incessantly annoying that could end up being for the tenant residing below.. namely me!

Then, I moved out to SW Portland into a tri-plex which I really, really loved. The rent was great, the landlord "seemed" normal, and it was the far, back unit so it had the most privacy of the three units. Plus, it also boasted the largest backyard area. The three units of the triplex were laid out front-to-middle-to-back... one right behind the other in a rectangular row.. with all the front doors being accessed by a common walkway, also running front-to-back.

I really thought things were going to work out swell for me there. But, as luck would have it, and as the AstroCartographer had warned me extensively regarding the potential perils and unsettling upheavals that would befall me should I relocate back up to the PNW, I didn't pay much attention.

As it turned out, the woman in the middle.. a rather "stout" single mother from Texas.. had originally wanted my unit at the back for her and her daughter. However, they had arrived a month earlier, and so had to accept the only vacant apartment, which was the middle unit.

So now, upon my settling-in this woman made it abundantly clear that SHE should have gotten my apartment, and boy did she proceed to act jealous. She would no longer let me play with her 3-year-old daughter, Holly. She began complaining about my back area, warning me of the wild growing holly bush, claiming it was "nasty." Weird shit like that. She highly objected to my burning any incense, to my hanging Tibetan prayer flags in the trees out in front of my apartment, and to having to smell "certain substances" coming from my apartment. At one uncomfortable point she actually threatened to do me bodily harm and started charging at me like a mad bull.

That's when the tenant in front, an ex-military type in his 70s who'd succumbed to a life of chain-smoking and alcoholism, came out of his apartment. He'd heard the ruckus between us and suggested SHE call the police against ME. This was a very bitter old man who'd also informed me upon my arrival, and in great detail, exactly how I was to dispose of my garbage.. claiming he was the building manager (which he was NOT), and threatening to cut off my electricity if I didn't comply! Go figure.

The landlord, who had originally really liked me, was also being simultaneously, unbeknownst to me, physically threatened by the "Texas Chainsaw" tenant that if he didn't get rid of me, she'd beat the crap out of him. The end result being that I was given a 30-day notice to vacate without any reason, and I was subsequently forced to move out. Unlike in California, renters here in Portland have fewer rights.

Okay, then I lucked out and found this totally cool 1902 Victorian duplex. I'd "accidentally" gotten off at the wrong bus stop en route to an appointment to view another apartment, and I happened to see a "for rent" sign. Actually, what first attracted me to the house was the beautiful, hot-pink dogwood tree which was in glorious full bloom in the front garden area.

That's when I noticed the "for rent" sign. I also noticed the front door was open... and it just so "happened" that folks from the rental management company were there showing the apartment to someone else! Always up for a spontaneous opportunity, I asked if I could tag along? Well, you surmise correctly if you assume that I ended up renting the available apartment, which I did. My unit was the entire top part of the house. The other half of the duplex being the bottom part of the house, which was rented by a young lesbian couple. And I was supremely happy for about 6 months... Now, can you guess what happened next?

Well, actually.. in this case, probably not.

(To Be Continued...)

copyright 2008 by C.S. Badin

10:44 AM - 9 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

THE CREEPY CRAWLIES...

The men had it easier than the women Crawlies because they didn't have any boobs to contend with. So, as they slithered and crawled along the edges of the room they easily catapulted themselves 'round each corner and bend, 'round each liturgious end. Actually, they slithered and writhed and wriggled... leaving an off-white, viscous, almost slug-like trail behind them.

But the women.. those women with their two unseemly lumps attached to their otherwise strong chests.. those women who when they started to creep and crawl along the edges of the wall could really only go along so far, stopping every inch with a loud thump and a slong, and really they got nowhere very much at all!

Now the men noticed this, and they thought they could help out the women by getting behind them and pushing them along with one outstretched arm, using a firmly-clenched hard fist. But sadly, this only made the women feel scared, highly inadequate, powerless and listless.. in that order.

The women felt like big sacks of coal.. heavy and lumpy in all the wrong spots, and much heavier than two men could ever handle. The women moved their lugubrious bodies laboriously at first.. then they would curl up into fetal and pushing with their knees, dig into their own bosoms and use them as a launching-off point for the knees to push-hop, push-hop, push-hop along the floor.. but, moving said lumpy, heavy body by only an inch at a time proved to be hard work, indeed. Well, the women reasoned.. staying on the path would surely and eventually bring them to the edges of the room, right? So the women pursued and continued with their seemingly endless and thankless task.

By the time 11-year-old Hannah Johnstrom had arrived home from school and bounded up to her bedroom, all the Creepy Crawlies had hidden themselves into the seams of her school jacket, or into the crevices of the bathroom door, or into the edges of the box of Kleenex Hannah kept on the night table right by her bed.

For you see, the Creepy Crawlies were a very, very, very tiny people. Well actually, I don't know if you'd classify them as "people" at all.. as they never used their teeny tiny legs to stand up and walk upright.. ever! Oh, no.. they only used them to catapult their prone bodies in circles, as previously detailed if you've been paying close attention..

So now Hannah, upon reaching the upstairs landing just outside her room, decided to fling open her bedroom door and take a running, leaping jump onto her bed. This was proving to be, without a doubt, one of the best games she'd discovered in the house she lived in with her family, and imagine.. all this fun right in the privacy of her very own room!

And boy, did Hannah love to jump on her bed. It had tons of spring action, and if she hit the side of the bed just right she'd then ricochet off the bed, using her feet to spring sideways off the wall, and be able to land on the pile of dirty clothes she'd arranged for just this sort of occasion. Wow! Wasn't childhood grand!!

Okay, so by now you're probably wondering why the Creepy Crawlies had chosen Hannah's particular room to live in? Well, believe it or not, Hannah.. by her own enthusiasm and curiosity.. actually chose them! Subconsciously, anyway.. unintentionally, perhaps.. but fatefully, nonetheless. Actually, the way I heard tell, the Creepy Crawlies deliberately picked Hannah, seeing in her that same "joie de vivre," that same unmistakable zest and zeal for uber-daring adventures that the male Crawlies coveted dearly and so loved. And in Hannah, the Creepy Crawlies believed they had found a "kindred spirit," a giant-sized version of themselves in a female form! And they dreamed that perhaps, one day, Hannah would blossom and come to represent their female "sex goddess".. something they would never be able to experience with the female Crawlies, that's for sure.

And now really, who.. after learning how the male Creepy Crawlies propelled themselves, careening 'round the bend and the corners.. I mean, who would NOT call that an adventure to beat all adventures.. an adventure bringing about an experience of the utmost supreme happiness and highness, on a scale of 1-to-10 it being an 11?

(To Be Continued...)

copyright 2008 by C.S. Badin

3:44 PM - 10 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

BALLADS IN B-FLAT

I used to write for a living
Churning out astrological blurbs
On an almost weekly basis.
But since my boss was a
Practicing alcoholic, I could
Never quite figure out or understand
What to do to please him -
What to do to get things right.
One week he'd say I was "becoming
Too predictable" and that I should
"Go a little crazy".. Then, the next month
He'd complain, "You're spinning way too
Far out there.. You need to reel it in!"

* * * * * * * *

Well, here I am on a Saturday night
And I'm home alone again.
The thing is - I don't seem to mind it.
Is that abnormal?
Last night I could've gone out to Club Noir
But I didn't really want to -
Am I becoming anti-social?
Or is it just that I'm getting to be
One still-cute, but rather stodgy old fart?
I'm just feeing pissed and a bit frustrated
That I haven't met any cool guys here
Who would be appropriate for me,
And who would turn-me-on like that cool
Blonde guy in M4 - Wow is he a cutie pie!
Makes me wish I were 20 years younger...

* * * * * * * *

Oh, what is wrong with me?
What could the matter be -
I feel like a little girl
That nobody loves,
Just like a little girl
Whom nobody knows.

What is the matter now?
Whatever could it be -
I feel like a little child
Without any folks,
Like an abandoned child
Nobody cares to know.

Oh, what is wrong with me?
What is the matter now -
What on earth could it be..
And if I could only be
That person who's hidden
Way down inside of me,
Then I'd stand up and be
And show the world -
Yeah, I'd break out real strong
And I'd show you, World!

So, I'm choosing to open up -
I'm choosing to break the mold.

* * * * * * * *

How did all the people lose their souls,
So quickly?
I mean, yeesh.. wasn't it just "the 60s"??
And weren't we all talkin'bout "peace and love"?
And now, everyone's been sucked up
Into the corporate greed machine.
So much so, that they don't even realize
They've been, excuse me.. are being
Constantly manipulated, spindled and folded;
Mutilated, morphed and even cloned into
Some strangely obtuse "soul-less creatures"
Who not even Buffy and her gang of Scoobies could fight.
How did all the people lose their souls,
So quickly?
Is it because the cathode tube rays from
The television studio transmitting tower maze
Have somehow all been orchestrated to go haywire?
Kind of like in TERMINATOR 3 ..
Man Against The Machine?
(Did most of you out there go see it?
And hey, wasn't it grrrrreat!)
In my opinion, all that was missing
Were Tony the Tiger and Snagglepuss,
Sharpening their claws in the mix...
(Entrances: Staaaaaage Left!)
But this still doesn't answer the question -
How did all the people lose their souls,
So quickly?

copyright 2008 by C.S. Badin

10:57 AM - 1 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

MYSPACE.. OR YOUR SPACE??

So, I've been trying to figure out this whole MySpace thing and its' inherent fascinating hold on, and control of, the general public...myself included. But, other than a blatant "promise of discovery" generating very real-time opportunistic fantasies - which can now come true for any "real talent," or even "no-talent" musician who finally has a cost-effective marketing tool to show off wares - it's still a big mystery to me.

I am familiar firsthand with the self-aggrandizement clubs, the Warholian fifteen minutes of fame enabling any artist a new frontier for free and worldwide marketability. But, is that the true goal and aim?.. To create a cyberage resume and personal store? Or, can it really and truly be a place where people come together and connect and become, y'know, friends?.. Can MySpace be a place to shoot the breeze and share our secrets?

On the other hand, and upon further investigation, how genuine are these friendships? I mean, they're not even 3-dimensional are they! Although, I've been quite fortunate to have made some closer connections via the telephone, I've also found some people on MySpace who prefer to stay 2-dimensional, even though we live in the same city. Maybe it's safer for them that way, to try and maintain some sort of anonymity. Or, perhaps it would shatter their fantasy if I did become 3-dimensional! Anyway, do any of us really know who's actually lurking behind that smiling, happy face on that seemingly innocent profile page if we haven't already met them?.. hmmmm..?

Okay okay okay.. I'll admit I've probably been watching a few too many Law & Order episodes recently and my imagination has gone all majorly paranoid and wild. Yet, the addiction factor is still quite sensational, isn't it? 'Cause once you realize how cool MySpace is, you're instantly and forever hooked. I went to look at face book recently and I didn't get it AT ALL. Maybe it's because I'm a late-60s-hippie-dinosaur when it comes to stuff like that and I like it idiot-proof, with a little bit of pizzaz. Instead, it all looked confusing to use, ultra-pale-and-gray, and rather yuppified; so thanks, but no thanks!

But MySpace??? Taa-DAAA!!.. it's all in TechNiColour!!!!!
MySpace is the most satisfying, mesmerizing place ever.
Yep, cyberspace nirvana for the 21st Century geek,
An ultra-hip, metrosexual space-age communication machine
Where you can be anybody you want to be.. plus, it's FREE!!
And you can say anything you want to say (well, within reason)
And you won't ever get busted, or pelted or "booed" off the stage.
Actually, once you join MySpace you'll probably feel "saved!"
So who cares if there's a gazillion banner ads posted, anyway?
I mean, what's the big deal?
And y'know, come to think of it,
And really who's to say..
What if the person on the other side of that bright, shiny smile
Turned out to be one of those serial killers
"The 6 O'Clock News" or "News at 7"
Keeps profiling every night on Channel 8?
On the other hand, for all I know..
It could even turn out to be
"Mr. Write" appearing as a bold and shiny "White Knight"
Come home to love and inspire me!
Or perhaps, he/she really IS who he/she says they is... see???
Ah, but either way, or any way at all,
This much is abundantly clear..
MySpace is irresistibly charming,
And as embarrassingly sappy as it is to admit -
A place I'll probably always hold dear!
Anyhoo, how 'bout you?
Have you ever noticed when you first accept a friend
That there's an initial grace and honeymoon period?..
With much emailing back'n'forth, and quite frequently?
But then, all of a sudden things'll start to slow down..
'Til pretty soon they'll drop out of sight and be almost gone?
Now, that "good friend" has stopped leaving any comments at all?
Oh!.. you'll hear from them here and there, for sure -
Every once in a while when you've emailed them first!
Ouch, sometimes that can really hurt.
Makes you realize that some people really are
Just into it to play "the numbers game" ..
Can't help but make me wonder if it's true for others,
As well as for me?
Or, as painful as it would be for me to have to accept,
Perhaps it's ONLY me that this happens to..
And everyone else likes each other just fine,
On a very regular and mostly ConSisTenT basis!
Yes, it's probably only Me people tend to abandon.
It's just li'l ol' ME
That people seem to choose to abandon. (sigh)
Maybe it's buried deeply somewhere within my DNA,
This victim-consciousness and apparent self-loathingness!
So, does anyone out there care to share their stories with me?
Would anyone care to elaborate on their own truths?
Because even though little parts of me still hurt inside
There's a larger part of me who's much very alive
And who wants to live life bravely and reach out,
No longer curled up in a fetal ball so I can hide.

copyright 2008 by C.S. Badin

6:13 PM - 12 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

PORTLAND’S OWN “BELIEVE IT OR NOT...”

Another, "I swear to God..this actually happened to me!" true episode (no one could make this stuff up!) in the life of one Catherine S. Badin.

To Set The Scene: Late last year I was banned - via an email - from ever entering a particular Vegan restaurant here in Portland again. I was caught on video tape, apparently "harassing" some customers; when in reality what occurred was that I was taped handing my business card to a young couple with whom I'd previously been having a very friendly conversation while we were all standing in line to order lunch.

What follows is their subsequent email to me.

----- Original Message -----

From: lunch@xxxx.com (fictitious)
To: badcat@popstar.com
Subject: Disturbing our customers
Date: Wed, 19 Dec 2007 16:24:25 -0700

Please refrain from entering our establishment and disturbing our
customers with unsettling comments. Please do not enter our establishment
again. A jpeg of you bothering 2 customers today from our internet based
security camras and your name has been sent ot the offices of our legal
repesentative. Xxxx Cafeteria

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Wow! Well, as soon as I received the email I called the woman who manages/owns the place to discuss things and see if we could clear things up. Let's call her "Zz".. But, she refused to speak to me and every time I called to discuss what did, or rather what didn't happen, she would hang up on me, talking over me and screaming that she'd call the police if I didn't stop harassing her! (see my accompanying letter for "the whole story.")

Further, since returning from the UK, I've been experiencing an all-or-nothing emotional seesaw of depression and elation. Long story short.. my moods have been rather volatile. And okay, so I'll admit to feeling quite pissy one day; and as it happened, the bus I'd taken to downtown let me off a block away from Xxxx cafe. So, can you guess what happened next?

Yep.. you know me too well by now! I slowed down and peeked in the window. And when I saw "that woman" at the register, I flipped her off and mouthed the words, "Fuck You, BITCH!!".. Then, I hurried on to catch the next transfer bus to my therapy appointment. And ooooh, had that felt good! (y'know.. I can be a real b-i-t-c-h myself, sometimes.)

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Then, a few days later I received the following letter in the mail:

To: Catherine Badin
From: The Owners/OPperators of Xxxx Cafeteria Portland Oregon
Re: Your Threats

Ms. Badin,

A few days ago, you appeared in front of our restaurant and began making
rude gestures and mouthing the words "I'll kill you, you fucking bitch," to one of the owners.
Your strange behaviour was troubling, to say the least.
When a person makes threats upon the life of another person, there is reason for concern and alarm, and there are legal remedies available to the person or persons who are threatened.
We do not know the reasons for your extreme hatred of Xxxx or of any of our people. In fact we have never met you and don't believe we have ever done you any harm.
The point of this letter is simple.
If you don't like Xxxx or the people who work there or the people who own and manage it, then please restrain yourself and STAY AWAY.
Please direct your bizzarre hatred somewhere else, for, as I have stated above,
we have never done you any harm.
Please consider this letter as a formal warning to STAY AWAY from Xxxx to avoid our taking legal action against you.
We are providing our customers with lunch, and your strange hatred and threatennig behaviour interferes with our abililty to do our work.
Simply stated, we are imploring you in all reasonableness to keep away from us and our place of business.
If you do ever return with the intention of disrupting our business or killling one of us we will be forced to contact the police and have you arrested and charged.
We are very serious about this matter.

Co-chef Co-owner
Xxxx Cafeteria
Portland Oregon

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Only in Portland! And once I was able to stop laughing and pull myself up off the floor I responded with the following, which I probably should've had you read first as it tells the whole story from the beginning.. but, well.. nevermind!

May 7, 2008

Owner
Xxxx Cafeteria

Dear Y:

First of all, thank you for your letter. It is the first time since I was treated like a criminal in your cafe last December that anyone, specifically Zz, has taken responsibility for communicating with me... other than to slam the phone down on me repeatedly and to refuse to talk to me about what happened; and then later, to also refuse to talk to a close friend who attempted calling on my behalf (again, another hang-up).

I am enclosing a copy of the email I subsequently received from Zz.. I am logically assuming it's her.. as she is the only person I can think of who would hold a grudge against me and do something like this.. and over what?? The one and ONLY "incident"-if you can call it that- I can possibly think of being when I asked her when she was stopping smoking? Apparently, she doesn't smoke.. You do! But, is that a valid reason to keep someone away from your cafe? In the past, I have frequented your cafe maybe once every 1-2 months.. I have always enjoyed your healthy food. No problems whatsoever...

On Wednesday, December 19th, I ate there and was standing in line ordering when a young couple started to talk to me. We had a friendly conversation.. even "spiritual" as we were talking about his hat which looked like a Pope's hat.. or one worn back in the time of Jesus.. and as it was almost Easter, we also discussed receiving God's grace. It was a great conversation for standing in line.. just ask the nice blonde boy who served up my lunch.

I ordered soup and was finished by the time the couple were finally up to order. The guy said to me, "keep following that grace!" as I left. I was in a hurry to get to a doctor's appointment and I zoomed out of your cafe. However, just out the door I thought to myself, "What a nice couple.. I'd like to get together with them for coffee sometime!" So, reentering the restaurant I went up to them, said "hi" again and gave them my business card in case they'd want to koffee klatch. I then hastily left again so I wouldn't miss my bus.

That night I received the email you hold in your hand.. completely out of left field; and may I say how surprised and shocked I was to receive that type of hostile warning from Xxxx for the crime of BEING FRIENDLY! What is up with that? I did nothing wrong; and in fact, this lovely young couple had actually approached me first.

Aside from the rude, threatening and highly uncalled-for email you folks sent.. the next morning I attempted to discuss it with Zz on the phone and she immediately hung up on me, with an added threat to me on my second try that if I called back again she'd call the police stating my calling back would constitute harassment!

After that, I had a very close friend call up a few weeks later on my behalf, and Zz hung up on her, too.. insisting she would only be able talk to a relative of mine. What strange, paranoid minds do you have working at your cafe? Why hasn't she, or anyone else there, been willing to discuss what happened with me??.. which was so obviously a misunderstanding.. but instead, you have victimized me in such a harmful and shaming way.

I have felt frustrated over this incident, and it is just not fair to be blamed for something I didn't do.. and, most especially to be ostracized for being a friendly and outgoing person!.. It is inexplicable, upsetting and very disturbing.. perhaps she feels threatened by my friendly, outgoing personality?.. but, is that a reason to concoct lies about me?

The other piece to this, of course, is how ludicrous and absolutely ridiculous it is for you to then write me in your letter, postmarked May 3, "We do not know the reasons for your extreme hatred of Xxxx or of our people. In fact we have never met you and don't believe we have ever done you any harm." Oh, Puleeese...

First of all, if you've never met me.. how the heck do you even know my name or who I am??.. And, you have my email and mailing address??? By the way, where and how did you get my mailing address?? I call that harassment on your part..

Secondly, I am not a violent person and I would never, ever threaten bodily harm to another human being or animal... or, rocks.. or trees.. or flowers, for that matter.

Now, I'm sorry for having expressed my anger out front of your cafe. It wasn't planned, it just happened. I was in a bad mood and I was walking by your cafe last week. I decided to look in the window and Zz was at the register. What I mouthed to that vindictive woman was, "Fuck You, BITCH!!!" Not what she "imagined" she saw. So I was pissed off... big deal. I have a right to be angry. And, I would be happy to mouth off to her again, given the awful way she's treated me.

Actually, Y, what I would appreciate is a call either from you, personally, or from your attorney. Also, I would like an apology from Zz for putting me through all this crap, for her unwillingness to communicate with me like a normal human being, and for her continually hanging up on me and persisting in holding such a mean-spirited grudge against me, for reasons unknown.

I appreciate your time in reading this and I would hope to hear back from you so I won't need to take the next step.

Sincerely,
Catherine Badin
----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Can you believe this shit?? My fantasy ever since has been to imagine picketing Xxxx Cafeteria with a huge sign which reads, "Xxxx DISCRIMINATES AGAINST FRIENDLY EX-CALIFORNIANS!" (I know, I know.. I have a few persecution/martrydom issues, myself!)

So, next I called up the Sheriff's office to find out what my legal rights were as a disgruntled citizen who's felt discriminated against?.. and could I legally picket their establishment? And guess what? I was told I can picket anywhere in Portland as long as I don't:
1.) block the entrance, and/or
2.) prevent people from entering the place.
Isn't America grand?.. Apparently it's something called, "freedom of speech."

But, after the dispatcher listened to my encapsulated story she suggested I do something even more effective.. as in call up the Better Business Bureau and file a formal complaint. So, now I've decided I'm going to give them a week to contact me. And then? Well, we'll just have to wait and see...

copyright 2008 by C.S. Badin

7:10 PM - 11 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment