My Birthday Wish List...
Current mood: pugnacious
Category: Life

OK... so it's my birthday, and I am 29 yet again. This is the first birthday I will be celebrating without my mom, Sally. She and I have the same birthday. (She was born years earlier, obviously.) I very much enjoyed sharing this day with her. In honor of Sally, I have devised a birthday wish list for all of you peeps looking for that perfect gift. Thank you for all the birthday wishes and love.

Cathy's Birthday Wish List:
-------------------------------

1. Pop-o-matic Trouble
2. My Little Pony
3. Cheese Wiz or those little cheese and crackers with the red stick
4. Lee Press-On Nails
5. Rainbow-haired troll for my bingo caddy
6. Grease soundtrack on 8 track tape
7. Tan shoelaces
8. Josie and the Pussycats lunch box with thermos
9. Yellow Power Ranger
10. One of those shower curtains with the tropical fish
11. Skoal
12. Where's Waldo coloring book and crayons (Crayola big box with built-in sharpener)
13. Potted meat
14. Muck boots
15. The Greatest American Hero poster
16. Limited Edition Ferrari Segway PT i2
17. Turkey baster
18. Black Flag Roach Motel
19. Quartzite for my rock collection
20. Bouillon

Currently listening : Best of Elmo's World DVD Collection Release date: 2006-08-01

10:35 PM - 7 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Thank you...
Category: Friends

Just a quick thank you to everyone that left a message, comment, text, or phone call expressing sympathy and love. You guys are awesome. My mom and I were very close. It was so weird going through her stuff today and taking clothes to the funeral parlor. It will be nice to get back to work next week and have some semblance of a normal existence. Anyway, thanks again. I love you guys. Seriously.

-Cathy

6:27 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Cathy’s Mom Update

Just wanted to update everyone re. Cathy’s mom.  She took a turn for the worse yesterday & passed away this morning.  Cathy’s naturally very upset, but at the same time it’s a bit of a relief to have her mother free of her ailments.

Thanks for all your support,
Ron

5:27 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Homeless...
Current mood: nauseated
Category: Life

Since the closing dates of our old home and our new home did NOT coincide as the money-whoring realtors and lawyers promised, we shall be homeless for at least a week. If you care, we'll be at a local Microtel, holed up in one little room with our dog and cats. Plus, the chances of Ron showering, dressing, or leaving the hotel room for any reason are slim to none. By my calculations, the room should be sporting a unique odor and growing some sort of new ground cover by midweek. God help us all.

Currently listening : Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (OST) By Various Release date: 13 February, 2007

6:05 PM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Halloween Greetings
Category: Friends

To All My Little Lovelies (yes, even you, Jeremy),

In an effort to extend greetings to all my loved ones on myspace (you know who you are!), I have decided to send you a joint Halloween blog. I figure, people do it for Christmas cards, so you will forgive me. Many of you know that I have had my hands full and am lucky to get on here for five minutes to check my page. I spend all day at work, every night at the hospital/nursing home, and TRY to pack a few things in my spare moments. We need to be out of our house and into the new one in NINE days, and I have packed only a handful of things. LITERALLY!!!! I'm sorry I missed some of you in Milwaukee. I hope Ron behaved himself. I really do love you guys. (Even my little hot toddy from across the sea.) Have a ghoulishly splendiferous Halloween!! xoxoxoxo

4:05 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I miss you...or a day in the life of Cathy
Current mood: drained
Category: Life

Who am I today?
Just a memory to fade away
A nurse, a mother, a daughter...
Who am I to you now
What do you see out of your eyes
So distant and blank
I see it's hard for you to complete your thoughts
And words are fewer these days
Do you know what you want to say
In the garbled fog of memory
I brush your hair and hold your hand
As we laugh at silly things
Only to know that a few moments away
All will be forgotten
Do you hate that I have to wash your body
And wipe you as we toilet
Do you want to be left alone
Or is there safety in my touch
Alarms can tell me if you wander in your night dress
Out into the cold, dark night
But I don't need them any more
I no longer sleep
I worry when we are apart that you are frightened
By my absence
And yet I want to run away
You once held my hair when I was sick
And walked with me through cemeteries
As we shared ice cream and stories
That woman is gone now
A shell of her former self left behind
Who puts the rotting corpse of a loved-one out for show
And yet this disease makes it so
I tuck you in at night and gently kiss your head
Will tomorrow be one of your good or bad days
I wonder in the morning, who am I today
…Just a memory to fade away.

Currently listening : What a Wonderful World By Louis Armstrong Release date: 27 February, 1996

8:29 PM - 6 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Ode to John Mark Hawley...or Monster Mania 8...or The Great Oral Hygiene Conspiracy
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

I realize my public yearns for my witty rhetoric, but a con without John Mark Hawley is no con at all. Oh sure, I could talk about how Matthew Lillard is my new best friend...how he referred to me as "cute", "funny", and "charming" (even after I admitted to never having seen the Scooby Doo Movies). I could reference my new found friendship with Joyce DeWitt (Joyce DeWitt at a horror con, you say?...yes, I say.) Sure, there were moments of greatness:
-William Forsythe's detailed account of his extensive knee injury
-Ghetto Ass Chick Fights
-Courtney Gains and the great onion odor (I still love you, Courtney)
-Ted Danson's rare appearance
-The touch of a genuine Louis Vuitton (I'm still wet)
-"Deluxe Bathrooms" (see trailer in rear of building)
-Finding out that Mike Berryman is the real brains behind "Poultrygeist!"
-Discovering that Jen has cornbread crotch (sorry Jen...sometimes the truth hurts)
-Finally seeing Ron REALLY angry (even Skippy's "inside voice" is tame in comparison)

...Alas, all of this pales to the mere presence of a John Mark Hawley Dainty Hobo (not a stabbin' hobo). And THAT, my friends, is the REAL reason this has taken so long to post. THAT.........and.............................................
TOOTHPASTE.

I think it is finally time I let the world know the truth. Many a lonely hour I've spent recently in my lab (see photo below) studying the benefits of oral hygiene.


Teeth. Sure, they help you to chew your food and make things easy to digest and therefore sustain life, blah, blah, blah.... We all know the real reason we have teeth. (No Mark, not for sex bites.) It's so that we can smile and look like movie stars. Now, here in the US (apologies to my Limey-ass friends), that is an important thing. We have been taught to brush and floss from a very early age. Why? To have a big, beautiful white smile. Now, here's the rub...
You can buy (insert brand-name here):
-regular toothpaste
-anti-cavity toothpaste
-anti-gingivitis toothpaste
-anti-plaque toothpaste
-whitening toothpaste
-tartar control toothpaste
-extra-sensitivity toothpaste
-super, ultra, smoker's whitening toothpaste
(you get the picture)
Now, the fun part...
ALL these freakin' toothpastes (which, by the way, take up an entire aisle of their own), have the SAME active ingredient: Sodium Monofluorophosphate (or sodium fluoride).
Sure, some might have baking soda or triclosan or some other lame ass thing, but you can buy:
Brand X regular toothpaste:
active ingredient .24% sodium fluoride

Brand X ULTRA whitening toothpaste:
active ingredient .24% sodium fluoride

Brand X Super Dooper (Yada yada yada $1 more a tube):
active ingredient? YUP! .24 sodium flouride

SOOOOOOOOOOOO... I spent about an hour in the toothpaste aisle and found something NEW! (Drum roll.............)
CREST PRO-HEALTH (sporting the medical insignia on the label along with indications for ALL the following: cavities, gingivitis, plaque, sensitivity, tartar, whitening, and freshens breath). I was intrigued, to say the least. I carefully looked for the active ingredient, and it indeed WAS DIFFERENT that the rest. It was STANNOUS fluoride. WOW!!! STANNOUS fluoride must be superior to sodium fluoride, I thought. So, I kept reading. Nestled somewhere in the small print on the tube under "other information" was a disclaimer of sorts. Ready? I don't think you can handle the truth....
It reads, word for word: "products containing stannous fluoride may produce surface staining of the teeth".
HELLO????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do I, or do I NOT, purchase toothpaste to AVOID surface staining of the teeth? What in the name of all that is holy, is CREST thinking???!!!!
.....
.........
...............aaahhh......I feel better now. Toothpaste conspiracy BUSTED. Now, go. Run and tell all your oral-hygiene loving friends. I shall return to my lab from whence I came. Thank you and good night.
xoxo

Currently listening : Grindhouse: Planet Terror By Robert Rodriguez Release date: 03 April, 2007

6:33 PM - 11 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Grindhouse
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

With the whole Easter weekend, family visiting, inhaling candy, and other such crap, we didn't get to see Grindhouse on opening weekend. We heard the numbers were low. We hoped many, like us, were too busy with similar holiday frivolities. So, last night we went. Granted, we don't live in a big city. The Regal Cinema, however, takes in a large rural and suburban area. There were exactly....EXACTLY.....wait for it...............wait................ FOUR lousy people in the theater. When our showing was over I snuck into another showing that started a little later (8 pm) just to see how many people were in there. That one had about 20-30 people. WHAT THE FREAK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE???! The movie was phenomenal. Argue with me if you want, but I absolutely loved it. Meanwhile, people are filing out of other "made for Hollywood" crap films (that shall remain nameless). I give up. NOW, there's talk of splitting up the two Grindhouse films to shorten the overall viewing time, take in more money, blah blah blah. That would be selling out...and a damn shame.

Currently listening : B.B. King - Greatest Hits By B.B. King Release date: 25 August, 1998

7:21 AM - 15 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

A Weekend at Fango
Current mood: amused
Category: Blogging

OK, here we go...

1. Went to Steak and Shake.
2. Rode in elevator with Voltaire...(alienated Troma from Chicago Goth scene by referring to Voltaire as "Voltron".)
3. Gave cookies to hotel trick-or-treating Christian dancing children. (I couldn't make this crap up if I wanted to!)
4. Got partial hotel refund for angry ghost in heating duct.
5. Got a first-hand, up-close look at my first nipple shield...(well, not MY nipple shield).
6. Had to walk through Skippy's beer puddle to get to bed at night.
7. Had to take cold showers 3 days in a row due to hot water shortage.
8. Had to listen to Skippy complain about how "warm" his water was in his room.
9. Watched as electricity went out two nights in a row. (Troma stays at only the top quality places.)
10. Looked at shocking pictures of Ms. Skin.
11. Bought shocking pictures of Ms. Skin for husband...(how COOL am I?)
12. Got nudie picture of Brenna for self.
13. Got nudie picture of Elske for Thom.
14. Above mentioned pictures are art, not pornography...perverts!
15. Speaking of perverts, heard story of first time Will watched Bloodsucking Freaks (and why he felt "bad" afterward...tsk...tsk.)
16. Participated in racial profiling when alleged basketball team walked past us.
17. Went to Steak and Shake...again.
18. Met the great Jen Tonon...(I'm not worthy...I'm not worthy!).
19. Fought with Miss Tromaville over Jen Tonon.
20. Did not win fight. Am stuck with husband.
21. Tipped hotel worker $5 for 25 cent sewing kit.
22. Tried to sell photo ops with Lloyd Kaufman's best suit.
23. Put risque homo-erotic picture in pocket of Lloyd Kaufman's suit.
24. Received 2 million dollars from Debbie Rochon.
25. Minutes later, had 1 million dollars stolen by Bill Moseley.
26. Learned what a VCP is.
27. Let Native American niece drink too much fire water.
28. Watched as niece got "stewed prune"!! (This one's for you, Janey.)
29. Watched as niece's ex angrily brought her ass to bed.
30. Woke up to my niece trying to pee on my head.
31. Took my drunken niece to the bathroom and back.
32. Watched as my drunken niece realized she lost her wallet and keys in her drunken frenzy.
33. Watched as my drunken niece got harassed by her uncle.
34. Watched as my hung-over niece FINALLY found her keys.
35. Spent an entire day terrorizing my hung-over niece.
36. Amazed that my hung-over niece still worships the ground I walk upon. xoxo
37. Went to Steak and Shake...yet again.
38. Wished Mark's mom a happy birthday over the phone at Steak and Shake.
39. Got the rest of the restaurant to yell happy birthday to Mark's mom.
40. Apologized profusely to Ken Foree for "overly-friendly" drunken Troma team. (Yes, Will...that would be YOU!)
41. Got pictures with David Arquette and the Traumatized Troma Team.
42. Given "VIP" status by security/con personnel to shut me up.
43. Harassed security all weekend due to newly acquired VIP status.
44. Bought food for security to make up for harassment.
45. Watched as special effects make-up artist destroyed comic books in bloody syringe incident.
46. Watched as Skippy blew a gasket over blood-soaked comic books.
47. Jeremy's wife speaks limited English since Spanish is her primary language. Laughed my ass off when I realized that Will thought she didn't talk much because she "must be deaf".
48. Will + Bat Boy = separated at birth.
49. New nick-names: Grandpa Mark, Drunken Wahoo, Papa Smurf, Fat Ass, the sexually ambiguous ones...(you all know who you are)
50. Sent out Troma team to get drunk so husband could get serviced.
51. Finally realized that Mark is better than me.
52. Never quite learned that some things are better left unsaid.
53. Met Troma Super Hero Lard Ass.
54. Kissed the stomach of Lard Ass for good luck.
55. Witnessed the end of Jeremy's marriage and Elske's bouncing breasts all in one fell swoop.
56. Cookie Monster + GWAR = Skippy's "quiet" voice.
57. Tried to woo Creation staff with near naked niece. Unsuccessful.
58. Tried again with Mark and Will. Successful.
59. Realized Rusty Nails has pizza radar.
60. Witnessed Mark eat toast from a used hallway room service tray.
61. Witnessed Mark eat crackers from a hotel stairwell.
62. Realized that Chicago must be "an expensive food town"...TROMAAAA!!!!
63. And finally, the number one thing I learned this past weekend....
One night of the Troma Team in a hotel room is equal to the damage caused by Hurrican Katrina.

Good night one and all.
Love and kisses...
Mama Troma

2:39 PM - 12 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Monster Mania Madness
Current mood: tired
Category: Friends

A Weekend Synopsis (in no particular order):

1. First and foremost, I did NOT wet myself once (see previous blog).
2. Learned that for $5, you can watch Tromeo and Juliet on pay per view in a Costa
Rican Hotel.
3. Almost got zero hotel charges due to billing error.
4. Stupidly mentioned error to hotel management and paid full price.
5. Nearly died numerous times on ice rink otherwise known as PA Turnpike.
6. Put pin holes in newly remodeled hotel walls.
7. State of emergency declared while we were traveling through PA...(pretty sure we
didn't have anything to do with it).
8. National Guard called in (still pretty sure it wasn't my fault...unlike the hotel walls).
9. Met and sniffed "Smells Like Salad".
10. Watched two drunk girls make out in elevator.
11. Complained repeatedly about being filmed for Brenna's film.
12. Learned that ducks don't like to have their shoulders touched.
13. Found Alex after MONTHS of searching for him to thank him for the mix cd and try
to obtain more.
14. Listened to Mark's mix cd on the drive up (will NOT search for months to obtain
more)....(LOVE YOU MARK!!)
15. Helped niece develop her new Tromette persona: Princess Squatsalot.
16. Bought Munster earrings from Chris (one Lily/one Herman...too cool).
17. Threatened to bounce husband from myspace top 8 in favor of rockabilly dude.
18. Husband tried leaving me for "Magenta", Patricia Quinn. (see #17 for response)
19. Husband spilled MY rootbeer all over the car (miraculously saved his own).
20. Went to dinner at Ponzio's with Tiffany and Jason (aka Conspiracy Theory Guy).
21. Learned truth about JFK assassination.
22. Sang the happy pickle in & out song (numerous times).
23. Learned what tea-bagging is (suprisingly, has very LITTLE to do with tea).
24. Made fun of Beth's Welsh accent (with help of Patricia Quinn).
25. Patricia Quinn again tries stealing my husband (see #17 again).
26. Finally met Merrie's, Victor.
27. Ate dinner with Tom Savini (well...sort of)...husband couldn't eat due to staring
across room at Patricia Quinn (see #17).
28. Took Sid pop and candy since he looked so lonely without Suzie.
29. Watched vendor girl break up with her boyfriend and get kicked out of apartment.
30. Shortly after, gave vendor girl discount on "Suicide" dvd.
31. Heard from husband how fun it was watching Amarynth change her shirt in front of
the Troma booth.
32. Fed three people for one price from restaurant buffet...TROMA!!
33. Repeated #32 the following day...TROMA!!
34. Pimped out Alexia's chocolate lollipops.
35. Put Mark on speakerphone at Ponzio's after finding out that stewed prunes had
been removed from the menu.
36. Flirted repeatedly with Capt. Lou Albano, the Iron Sheik, and Nikolai Volkoff.
37. Got unexplained rash from Ponzio's or hotel bedding....or husband, or Capt. Lou,
or the Iron Sheik, or Nikolai Volkoff, or the Rockabilly dudes, or.......
38. Watched white supremist mutter and walk away when Def By Temptation trailer
came on.
39. Helped Tick Boy get his $92 back from the hotel (after making fun of his pink hat).
40. Got poisoned by A&W milkshake.
41. Met Faith from Ohio, loyal Troma minion.
42. Passed Clyde Reeling's Reptile Land, but it was closed.
43. Relayed message to James Gunn from Fred Dekker.

That pretty much sums it up. All in all, not a bad weekend. It was fairly quiet, mostly due to the absence of some of our more "rambunctious" volunteers (you know who you are). Made a nice chunk of change for Uncle Lloyd, too. Now...I'm going to bed for 12 hours. Good night all.
xoxo

2:10 PM - 6 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment