me, myself & I - keep dreaming
Current mood: blah
Category: Life

Well, where to begin?  Hard to say really....


Isn't it funny how people always want what they can't have, and those that have it really never seem to care that they do?  There's so little that I want right now & yet some how it won't come together.  There's people out there who get what I want in a flash, no questions asked it seems & yet no matter what I have to answer a million questions and nothing ever comes easy.

It seems like all my life I have to wait until that one last person says "You'll Never" or "You Can't" just one last time to piss me off, so that I give up, give in & fight hard enough to prove them wrong!

Well, I have enough people in my world right now saying that I'll never get what I want right now, maybe some day sooner than later I'll prove everyone wrong.  There's only a few things I really want....

Some day I want another full time job in technology - maybe some day soon I'll actually get one!  Hopefully doing what I want to, hopefully before September.  If not, in September, I'll give in and do Temp - Perm type stuff.

Some day I wanna be seizure free on less meds - this spending $350.00 even though I'm on Trillium Insurance is kinda a pain!

Some day I wanna actually marry the person I live with.  I've been helping him out in lots of ways & supporting him through so many tough times....most of the time I wanna marry him so we're at least committed to each other on a whole new level before we wanna strangle each other when things get tougher again.  One day, maybe one day he'll wake up & see it.  Time will tell. 

And finally, really what I want is just more strength.

Some how I know life will come together.  It may not be this month, it may not even be this year....but some how, some day, some decade I'll get everything I want some how & all I want really is the strength to survive until I get there.  Guess no one can give me that, huh.

Life's kinda fun in some ways!  All you can do is live life, reach for your dreams & hope that someone out there makes them come true....From there, only time will tell.

Now, all I can do is keep dreaming & reaching for more strength from someone.

~ E

4:15 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

10 Things You Never Knew About Me...
Current mood: awake
Category: Life

There seems to be a lot of taggin going on in cyber space as of late, and I've been no exception to its warpath.  Caught in the crossfire, thanks to Greg Lamberson & Richard, I'm now "it."  Looks like the punishment for such a fate is to detail 10 things you never knew about me.   This should be easy assuming you don't know me.  So without further procrastination, I present you with:

1.  Well, in university I had 2 different nicknames "Troll"…some would say that's a height/hair color thing (yup, short & at the time short REALLY red hair..gotta love Loreal), some would say it's an evil personality that comes through at times…you decide. ;).  The second nickname "B1", my roommate ended up "B2".  Apparently there's some kids cartoon out there with B1 & B2 – bright yellow characters, which I loved.  This takes me to # 2.

2.  I once had a yahoo nickname of  "ecb1troll" (my initials & my two nicknames put together)…well, when it was safer (hmmm..or was it?) I used to venture into Yahoo! Great way to keep in touch with my university friends. I went into a room called "Hamilton Place" expecting to see my friend Joe since that's where he's from.  Left because he's not there, a couple minutes later some guy sent me a message asking me why I left..I said, 'cause your not Joe'….5 years later I'm still with Rick (a.k.a Richard) who tagged me here!

3. I'd suck as a designated driver.  Yup, it drives everyone I know nuts I'm epileptic so I don't drink alcohol at all, don't smoke and can't touch an illegal substance…but for the same reason I don't have a driver's license.

4.  When I was a kid (about 16)  I once walked out of a store with a bracelet without paying.  I was just trying it on, didn't even remember.  No intention of stealing it.  Five minutes later I went back to the store feeling so horrible about forgetting I had it on.  I told the lady I just liked Esprit stuff & I forgot about it while I was there.  She appreciated my honesty and let me keep the bracelet and didn't even tell anyone.

5. There was a time in my life when cooking meant mixing "Package A". with "Package B" of an instant dinner & I ate lots of instant things.  I'll admit I even measured water for Kraft Dinner.  The "tag boy" in this game (Richard) actually got me to think about cooking and now I'm not that bad. Really, after 5 years, he's still alive so how bad can I be?? For a long time, it was Betty Crocker recepies and now I'm on a Rachel Ray kick! 

6. It seems that TV, Internet & Job Surfing consume my life these days, but there was once a time that I was really into sports – baseball was # 1 (played & watched), hockey, ringette, downhill skiing, tennis and swimming to name a few.  Kinda comical that there's some sports in there I know more about than some guys I know ;)

7. I worked at McDonald's for 4 years doing everything from front counter to drive thru to kitchen & yes! With my evil little personality they even made me host birthday parties for little brats every weekend. 

8. I look younger than I really am, so I still get ID'd places.  Not only that I sound younger too, so people call my place all the time asking for my mom or dad.  I'm still waiting the day when social services shows up at my door because I always say: "They really left along time ago & I don't know if they'll ever come back…"…Well, I'm practically married & my parents live in a different city. I don't know when they get home!

9. I think I still owe my buddy a bunch of white shirts.  When I could drink, the one day I was already pretty wrecked on vodka & tequila.  I was broke so he said he'd buy me all my drinks for the night if I did 3 shots more before a group of us headed out.  Well, the first one was ok – that was his moonshine mix, the second one drambuie (not bad), the 3^rd one, a blue liquor, that nasty stuff they put in blue lagoons ended up all over his closet & white dress shirts.  Sorry, buddy! Guess I owe you a shirt still. HEY! Read the unemployment thing, not a chance!!  Drinking was a bad thing in university, guess it's a good thing I had to give it up, eh? 

10.  I've learned walk, don't run.  It took running to catch a bus & nearly breaking my ankle to learn the lesson.  Did that nearly 4 years ago now & my ankle never did heal right.  Still have to run sometimes to keep up with the person I live with if we ever go for a walk, I think every time my ankle gives out on me I learn again – sometimes in life you just gotta slow down…so then the next time instead of running to catch up to him, well if it's summer I just take off my sandals & throw them at him. HAHA!

Oh ya, and for this I tag…

Adam

Derrick

Detox your mind when you can!
Current mood: amused
Category: Life

Well,

I guess it's kinda interesting when you actually take time to enjoy life. Well, or when it's forced on you to kick back, relax & enjoy life.  Yup, unemployment.  So, no choice but to have a mini-vacation.  Job interviews have been happening.  In fact, I'm in the process of applying for another 6 jobs, so really I have no doubt that I'll end up with another job, some day, probably sooner than later.

Really though...don't we all work too much as a society?? One job I had I worked almost 70 hours a week.  My last one it was 55-60 hours a week.  I hardly ever took vacations, I next to never got paid the overtime.  So, unemployment while it's not my choice. Well, call I choose to call it employment detox! Yup, you got it.  It's my detox from employment life, so that when I find that next dream job, I'll go in ready, willing and able to work the 70-80 hours again.  Ready to learn, and enthusiastic about work.

I'm only 32, and I've put in at least 60 hour work weeks every week really since just after 22.  My mom told me last month when I lost my job that she didn't even start working part time until she was a little older than me.  And, well until recently she was trapped into a million hours a week too.  I'm happy she works less now.  I know it is coming that I'll work more again, and well, I have no choice.  It comes with the territory of being young.


I used to say, why are people claiming unemployment when they're fully capable of working.  So far, I haven't had to.  I was basically "packaged out" of my job.  However, as a result, my attitude kinda changes.  I think there needs to be a rotating program with some 3 month contract jobs out there, and once in awhile, if not even once every 3 years...instead of once every 10 years people are allowed to just "Detox" from work.   A week  long vacation isn't  nearly  enough, why not a month or more?
 
It's been about a month since I lost my job, and yup now I'm bored & ready to go back to work, but the month off has been great to detox from work.  To just mellow, take some time for me, escape the world of information technology that I used to work in and take some time to just enjoy life for a bit.  Who knows, I wonder, maybe if I actually cut back on the hours, was able to leave work at work and didn't work 60 hours a week, took a vacation day & 'detoxed' my mind from work sooner, maybe I wouldn't have lost my job in the first place.  I know that's something I will think about when I find my next "Dream Job".

Wait, who am I kidding...I love technology, I love to learn.  I'll put in a tonn of hours, then in a few months I won't have time for much, because well work will consume my life again.

Too bad people who work can't get any assistance with bills, huh! Only the unemployed.  What's up with that?

Oh well, there's my confusing thought for the week

Take it easy, and detox your mind of life when you can.

Cheers!
 

1:22 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment