a celebration is in order...
Current mood: thankful

life.

you know when it keeps kickin' and kickin' you bloody while you're writhing on the ground....and you can't help but ask  yourself ..'what in the hell did i do to deserve this?'

well, this was all in a day's work for my life...and nearly every day this question would pop into my mind.

im a good person...i treat all with respect and kindness...i didn't know why i should be dealing with this situation and these thoughts on a daily basis.

and then...and then i met someone who, just as i thought life was about to pull the trigger, pulled the gun away.

and now he's one of the only joys i know...but i'm content with that.

he even taught me how to fight back.

take the current situation as an example:

fuckin' shitty job, but financial stress.

aided in helping me re evaluate what's important to me...happiness over money.

gave work the finger...

and now i have happiness andno financial stress.

because..i have ties to another great job whos accommodating....

all i had to do was stop and take a breath..and realize the answers were right in front of my face.

this guy helped point out those answers...

this guy..i tell you what..

a true life saver.

thanks Dorian.

I owe ya one.

<3

Currently listening : New Maps of Hell By Bad Religion Release date: 10 July, 2007

6:44 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

give me novocaine.
Current mood: crappy

Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
Its like a throbbing tooth ache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

life is rough sometimes.

boo fuckin' hoo.

i'm dealing the best i can, but sometimes, it really is tough to go it alone.

Currently listening : Music from Regions Beyond By Tiger Army Release date: 05 June, 2007

6:14 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

'the grown up life'
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Gemini

Mentally-driven and Mercury-ruled Gemini natives get a boost from the right side of their brain this month. Want to know how you can make good decisions? Use more of your gift for intuition and rely somewhat less on analysis. One topic up for consideration: how you're handling money. This is no time to noodle around or ignore the subject altogether. Fortunately, you have a better sense of how to get your financial house in order these days. Career rewards headed your way reinforce that it's time to live the grown-up life you've earned. Make most of the fruits of your labor.

---------------------------------------

Well thank you horoscope people.

how appropriate, right?

anyway, im just using this space as a brainstorm/checklist to get my this-and-thats in order.

so here we go.

1-squirrel away about 2G

2-job at Culligan

3-weed through my belongings. decide what i need/don't need immediately. only so much can fit in a U-Haul.

4-visit Ortho.

5-visit eye doc.

6-check on residency.

7-make sure loans are in order

8-roommates?

9-credit.

----------------

a lot is going to take place in the next two months.

im going to be a busy, busy girl.

but it'll be well worth it.

<3

Currently listening : Young Folks By Peter Bjorn and John Release date: 14 August, 2006

12:40 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

154
Current mood: bored

It's always interesting to get a feel for how many movies I've actually seen.

walking through wal-mart..or best buy..or even blockbuster..i scan the shelves and realize ive seen nearly entire sections. youch. get a life, Amanda.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 movies on this list. Copy this list, go to your own MySpace account, and paste this as a bulletin. Then put an X next to the movies you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click "Post" at the bottom. Have fun!

(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total So Far: 9

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
() Saw II
(x) White Noise
() White Oleander
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total all together: 17

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
() Scary Movie 2
() Scary Movie 3
() Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
() American Pie Naked Mile
Total all together: 24

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
(x) The Village
() Lilo & Stitch
Total all together: 32

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
(x) White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30 ---- aka suddenly 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots
Total all together: 41

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
() Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
(x) King Kong
Total all together: 51

(x) A Cinderella Story
() The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(x) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
() The Ring 2
() Surviving Christmas
(x) Flubber
Total all together: 61

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total all together: 68

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
() Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Longest Yard
() Gridiron Gang
(x) The Grudge
(x) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
(x) Son Of The Mask
Total all together: 79

(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
(x) Joy Ride---------- aka Road Kill
() Lucky Number Seven
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
() Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
() The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total all together: 90

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2
Total all together: 99

(x) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
(x) The Notebook
() K-Pax
(x) Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old-virgin
Total all together: 106

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total all together : 112

() BASEketball
(x) Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman [i know..i should.]
(x) House of 1000 Corpses
(x) Devils Rejects
() Elf
() Highlander
(x) Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
() Three
Total all together: 117

(x) The Jackal
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Full Metal Jacket
() Shaolin Soccer
(x) Night Watch [wow. im surprised this is even on the list..]
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard
Total all together: 125

(x) High Tension [head from a head? haha.]
(x) Club Dread
() Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days Later
(x) Orgazmo [for the most part..]
(x) Phantasm
() Waterworld [the show at universal...]
All together: 133

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
() Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
() The Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave ---- aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total all together : 137

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars A New Hope
(x) Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks the caravan of courage
(x) Ewoks The Battle For Endor [thanks Dan :P ]
Total all together: 144

(x) The Matrix
() The Matrix Reloaded
() The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Anger Management
() showgirls
(x) the sixth sense
(x) the sand lot
Total: 154

...yeah. 154.

not too bad.

Currently listening : Doolittle By Pixies Release date: 20 May, 2003

9:04 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

je t'aime.
Current mood: discontent

I miss.

->The Steve. and the rocks.

->Junior Year

->Smoking before I was 18.

->5.5

->John's old car.

->Trips to Taang! records...even when it was closed.[which was typically the case]

->Sea World with Dan

->HillCrest

->Violent Femmes in Del Mar

->La Jolla

->innocence

->the smell of Mission Beach

->The Black. and OB

->the feeling of beach grass

->the beach cottages

->Brunetto's. and washing dishes. with or without the 'condom'. 

->Pat & Oscar's

->trips to Hollywood

->Disneyland

->public transportation in San Fran.

->freeways. especially the 163.

->Soma. and fucking Chuck E. Cheese sketch drawings.

->In n Out after shows.

->the creepy Asian that seems to be at every single San Diego event we went to. he wears the same.thing.every.time. you know the one.

->Downtown

->Oldtown

->The Spaghetti Factory

->Journey at 3 in the AM

->the green box.

->Swallow drive. and the hill.

->Souplantation.

->Fashion Valley

->Fireworks from Dan's roof.

->Max. low rider. <3

->Whip-its in Dan's driveway

->going somewhere and seeing someone i know.

->Egyptian Tea Room til late/early.

->when money was only used for show tickets,movie tickets, junk food, and...

->Buffulo Exchange.

->working at Coldstone [believe it or not]

->movies @ Santee Lakes

->pool parties.

->my old house. and the view from the front step.

->hiking.

->the desert

There's so many things, even things I was so excited to get away from, that I truly miss. It's really depressing, when you think of it that way. How much a person takes for granted.

ah. to be young again.

mais....c'est la vie.

<3

Currently listening : Begin to Hope By Regina Spektor Release date: 13 June, 2006

11:51 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

It took so much effort not to make an effort...
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Music

Although we'd often wondered,
it was no thing of wonder, the shit that flew from our minds.
While wearing stains of fresh fruit and riding on shoes of horse glue.
On this ridiculous climb. With great tunnel vision,
we'd built ourselves a mission, to ride on bullets inside.
Oh what a vain description of what we had been missing,
so why would anyone try? It was always worth it.
That's the part I seem to hide,
and the busy ant empire had all deserted hive.
I wasn't always cargo. I was once kind of my own.
I guess I'll pack up my mind. It took so much effort not to make an effort.
Oh what a flawless design. It was always worth it.
That's the part I seem to hide
and the busy ant empire put up the closing sign.

Even as I had left Florida.
Even as I had left Florida, far enough, far enough wasn't far enough.
Couldn't quite seem to escape myself.
Far enough, far enough, far from Florida.
We were all drowsing in cruise control.
Far enough, far enough wasn't far enough.

I stood on my heart's porch thinking,
Oh my god I probably have to carry this whole load.
I couldn't remember if I tried.
I couldn't remember if I took my brain out through it so directly at the goal.
I couldn't remember if I tried. I could have my mind erased
and still not know exactly what I don't already know.

Even as I had left Florida.

-------------------------------------------

needless to say, I decided that I do, in fact, dig the new Modest Mouse CD.

Currently listening : We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank By Modest Mouse Release date: 20 March, 2007

9:59 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Sandstorm!
Current mood: bored

This is a little funny, considering I've been playing this song repeatedly.

And I swear I didn't use H4X to get this result guys :)

What DDR song are you?

5:12 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Remember when?
Current mood: nostalgic

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this [ice ice _ _ _ _ ]

You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain

AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."

You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not

when everyhting was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.

when cops and robbers was a daily activity.

when we played Hide and go seek until our legs grew numb.

when we used to obey our parents

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.

"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.

Captain Planet. He's a Hero.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.

You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.

You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.

You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.

You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.

You remember those Where's Waldo books.

You remember eating Warheads.

You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.

You remember Ring Pops.

You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.

If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.

You played and/or collected "Pogs" :)

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.

. . . Furbies.

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.

And Windows 95 was the best.

You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.

Michael Jordan was a king.

YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.

You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.

You collected those Beanie Babies.

Carebears

Gak was the coolest stuff invented.

Lambchop's song never ended.

The old dollar bills.

Silver dollars, which were cool to have.

You remember a time before the WB.

You collected all the Troll dolls

If you even know what an original walkman is.

You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.

You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.

Before the MySpace frenzy . . .

Before the Internet & text messaging . . .

Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .

Before MIKE JONES . . .

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .

Before Spongebob . . .

Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkman.

Way back.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.

Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!!

Currently listening : The Invasion from Within By Tsunami Bomb Release date: 06 March, 2001

9:20 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I get high with a little help from my friends...
Current mood: grateful

I'm proud to say these four guys are four of my bestest friends in the world.

....and they're ridiculous.

which is why i love them. :)

what do four guys do on a roadtrip?

find out for yourself :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqM65pv0sx0&eurl=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qNsv4ocbSE&eurl=

<3333333333333333333The Steve<3333333333333333333

Currently listening : Transplants By Transplants Release date: 22 October, 2002

9:13 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

"Where split lives congeal and stiffen to history..."
Current mood: curious
Category: Writing and Poetry

A Birthday Present

What is this, behind this veil, is it ugly, is it beautiful?
It is shimmering, has it breasts, has it edges?

I am sure it is unique, I am sure it is what I want.
When I am quiet at my cooking I feel it looking, I feel it thinking

'Is this the one I am too appear for,
Is this the elect one, the one with black eye-pits and a scar?

Measuring the flour, cutting off the surplus,
Adhering to rules, to rules, to rules.

Is this the one for the annunciation?
My god, what a laugh!'

But it shimmers, it does not stop, and I think it wants me.
I would not mind if it were bones, or a pearl button.

I do not want much of a present, anyway, this year.
After all I am alive only by accident.

I would have killed myself gladly that time any possible way.
Now there are these veils, shimmering like curtains,

The diaphanous satins of a January window
White as babies' bedding and glittering with dead breath. O ivory!

It must be a tusk there, a ghost column.
Can you not see I do not mind what it is.

Can you not give it to me?
Do not be ashamed--I do not mind if it is small.

Do not be mean, I am ready for enormity.
Let us sit down to it, one on either side, admiring the gleam,

The glaze, the mirrory variety of it.
Let us eat our last supper at it, like a hospital plate.

I know why you will not give it to me,
You are terrified

The world will go up in a shriek, and your head with it,
Bossed, brazen, an antique shield,

A marvel to your great-grandchildren.
Do not be afraid, it is not so.

I will only take it and go aside quietly.
You will not even hear me opening it, no paper crackle,

No falling ribbons, no scream at the end.
I do not think you credit me with this discretion.

If you only knew how the veils were killing my days.
To you they are only transparencies, clear air.

But my god, the clouds are like cotton.
Armies of them. They are carbon monoxide.

Sweetly, sweetly I breathe in,
Filling my veins with invisibles, with the million

Probable motes that tick the years off my life.
You are silver-suited for the occasion. O adding machine-----

Is it impossible for you to let something go and have it go whole?
Must you stamp each piece purple,

Must you kill what you can?
There is one thing I want today, and only you can give it to me.

It stands at my window, big as the sky.
It breathes from my sheets, the cold dead center

Where split lives congeal and stiffen to history.
Let it not come by the mail, finger by finger.

Let it not come by word of mouth, I should be sixty
By the time the whole of it was delivered, and to numb to use it.

Only let down the veil, the veil, the veil.
If it were death

I would admire the deep gravity of it, its timeless eyes.
I would know you were serious.

There would be a nobility then, there would be a birthday.
And the knife not carve, but enter

Pure and clean as the cry of a baby,
And the universe slide from my side.

   --Plath

10:17 AM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment