Where’d all the Blogs Go?
Current mood: optimistic
Category: Blogging

So, I haven't been doing much if any blogging on the MySpace. Mostly because I've been really lazy and kinda busy (yes, at the same time). But partly because my buddy Mike and I started up a new website. www.desktopconfessional.com where I've put up a lot of my old blogs and where I'll be exclusively writing new ones.

I've made a new year's resolution to update the new site at least once a week. If you're experiencing a little Amar withdrawal...or forgot you were ever addicted, check the new website for my stuff.

And...if you want to write stuff, let me know we'll put it up on the site. I also plan on writing a L O S T blog every week after the show. So there'll be at least 8 this year (Thank You Writers' Strike!). But check it out and comment away. My blogs are only half as fun without your genius.

Currently listening : The Cool By Lupe Fiasco Release date: 18 December, 2007

3:36 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Everybody's a Critic
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

I was at my local tribute to capatilism (and all the things that are wrong with it), Wal-Mart the other day. I care about their exploitations of the human condition, just not enough to do anything about it...just like the way I feel about homelessness. Plus, Wal-Mart has this great Asian Movie section in their DVD aisle...it has movies that the other monument to capitalism, Best Buy has never even heard of. I picked up the "Infernal Affairs" trilogy (the movies "The Departed were based on). I heard they were awesome, plus they were at a great price.

But none of this is very interesting...what happened in the check-out line...that's the good part.

I wait in the outrageously long check-out line and finally get to the cashier. She was a jovial sort, which is rare at the Wal-Mart. She saw the movies I was purchasing and, said, "I go to movies aaaaaaall the time. I try to see three movies a weekend. I love movies," that much I could figure from the prior two statements.

"Wow...that's a lot of movies," was the only reaction I could muster when faced with this onslaught.

"Yeah, I love movies (again...I knew this already). I just went to see "Shrek III" that was a great movie...and I saw "Knocked Up" Have you seen it? It's hilaaaarious (she had a thing with long A's)! So funny. I saw "Spiderman 3" for the second time. It was good...but not as good as "Spiderman 2" was."

"Did you see these movies," I said indicating the movies that I was now purchasing.

"Oh yeah, I saw them...they were...not very good," she said with perhaps the sourest look I've ever seen in a Wal-Mart (and that's saying something).

You can't imagine my disappointment. I pretty much agreed with her statements on the other movies she had seen. I thought "Knocked Up" was very funny. "Spiderman 3" was definitely not as good as "Spiderman 2" was. And although, I hadn't seen "Shrek 3," I'd probably really like it. 

Now I was seriously questioning the purchase I was in the process of making. I was about to tell her to just unring-up the movies. I'll put them back in the Asian Movie Section where I found, when all of my troubles were put to ease with the following simple and elegant statement.

"You know what movie I can't wait to see? I have been waiting since last year for "Rush Hour 3" with Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan. Oh I can't wait...it's only a month away..."

The look of excitement on her face was also something I've never seen at a Wal-Mart. What she said right before that look came on her face, took away all credibility she had spent the last 30 seconds building. Anyone who would be that excited about "Rush Hour 3" does not deserve input in my movie purchase decision-making.

There was nothing left for me to do but smile, nod, and say, "Let's put this on the Mastercard." 

Currently listening : The Sun And The Moon By The Bravery Release date: 22 May, 2007

6:42 PM - 9 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

The Worst Part...
Current mood: tired
Category: Parties and Nightlife

The worst part about being locked out of your house is the feeling you get as you are closing the door as the wave of realization hits you like punch in the mouth (or in my case a headbutt to the forehead)...that your keys are not in your pocket as you thought that they were. They are instead on the couch where you left them because, "hey, i'm only going to be in here for a little while...i'll be sure to pick them up on my way out...there's no way i'll leave them on that couch."

Yes, I did say all these things to myself mere seconds before I left my keys on the couch and walked out my front door. Yes, I was hit by that metaphorical (did I use like or as in that sentence? check...carry on) headbutt. After the hit, the next feeling, which is also quite jarring, but not as much so, is that there is nothing you can do to get your keys out of your house (short of breaking a window or calling a locksmith)...and your car keys are on the same keychain. So you're basically stuck.

As I have since found...being that I was indeed locked-out, your new best friend is the cell phone, rivaled only by the best friend that will help you out of the situation you have so carelessly created. The first telephone call is the most shameful. "Uhm...hi boss. How's everything going? Could be better. I...uhhh...locked myself out of my house. Yeah, it is pretty funny. I'm going to be a little late...but I don't have any appointments today, so...that's good (now, hopefully you'll still trust me to represent your company even though I've given you direct evidence of my inability to do something as simple as keep my keys on my person before stepping out the door)."

Then you have to start calling your "friends" (note the quotation marks) and hope that they haven't left for work and can give you a ride...you also have to deal with their moderate amusement at the helplessness of your situation...I cross-referenced friends that live near me, with friends that work near my work and threw in friends that would laugh the least to round out the equation (when you feel dumb enough as it is, you don't need people to reiterate).

Finally...and not soon enough, you come across someone that is willing to pick you up, and drive you to work...and if you're really really lucky, pick you up from work and drive you home. In the meantime...you look for something to do while you wait.

What I did, was start going through the numbers in my address book and call people who are either not at work or can talk while they are at work. Unfortunately, I recently changed phones and haven't put everybody's number in (Taliny, my number for you is wrong, I'm going to need to get the new one...I would call you and tell you this but...). So, I started down the list...and got to hear a lot of voicemail messages. When I actually did get someone who could talk, the first question I would had to answer was...why are you calling me at 8:30 in the morning when you should be at work...that was a good conversation starter. 

Eventually, the person gracious enough to pick you up arrives and rushes you to your livelihood...asking for nothing in return. If the feeling you get as the door is closing on the keys you left in the house (and your well-planned morning as well) is the worst part about being locked out...having someone to pick you up and drive you to wear you have to go (and hopefully back later that day) is the best part of being locked out.  

Currently listening : It Won't Be Soon Before Long By Maroon 5 Release date: 22 May, 2007

10:35 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Insight...
Current mood: nostalgic
Category: Religion and Philosophy

I went to the basketball courts yesterday, to shoot around. There was one half-court open so I migrated in that direction. I was in the midst of free throw practice when this little kid came up to the court I was shooting on. He looked like he was 10 years old. The following conversation took place:

"Hey, can I shoot hoops?"
"Huh?"
"Can-I...shoot-hoops?"
"Uh, sure...If you want." Since he didn't have his own ball, I figured that we would be using mine.

"Hey, what grade are you in?"
"Grade? I haven't been in a grade in a long time..."
"How old are you?" Realizing that our shoot-around session had deteriorated into an interview, I mentally prepared myself for the barrage of thought-provoking questions I was sure would ensue.

"I'm pretty old...at least in comparison to you."
"Are you 15?"
"Older than that."
"20??"
"Keep going..."
"Are you 30!?!"
"Almost...not quite."
"Higher or lower?"
"Lower."
"26?"
"Slightly higher..."
"You're 27?"
"Yeah, I'm 27."
"27, wow..."

After taking a second to reflect on his shock, I realized that 27 is a lot of time...at least to him. As far as this kid was concerned, I'd lived nearly three of his lifetimes...but he hadn't finished imparting his wisdom on me. He left with this line.

"27 is pretty old...but you've still got game."
"Thanks, buddy," I then took a 20-foot jumper...and air-balled it. Not only did I shoot an air-ball, but I was off by at least three feet.
"...I'm gonna go shoot hoops with my family now."

And with that he was gone.

Currently listening : Inside In/Inside Out By Kooks Release date: 19 January, 2006

9:18 AM - 6 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

The Irony of Chapstick
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Parties and Nightlife

I was about to go to sleep last night when I came upon a very startling yet far too frequent discovery. My chapstick had escaped me yet again.

I love chapstick. It's so simple, and so effective. It's a lot like paper...and bread (in the sense that it's simple and effective...not in the sense that you put a little on your lips and your protected from the wind and the cold and the sun...although all three have been known to have a pleasant taste). The problem with chapstick, however, is that unlike bread or paper it is easily L O S T and never found again. I hesitate to say the word "easily" when in all likelihood, the word should be "eventually." Well, paper can be L O S T...but when was the last time you L O S T a loaf of bread? 

I've always wondered why chapstick comes in a round tube. It never seemed like the best way to design something that you would take with you everywhere you go. See, the roundness makes that sucker mobile. If you put your favorite tube on a table, and although, it seems like it's not going anywhere; all that table needs is a little nudge, and inertia will send the tube to the great unknown (When was the last time you saw a semicolon in a blog? It was here my friends). If it was rectangular in design, so many tubes would be spared the fate of being used only a few times before ending up L O S T. They could even make, a chapstick key chain and this would further decrease the rates of chapstick disappearance. People are much less likely to lose their keys (at least permanently) than that slippery slippery tube.

I wondered why chapstick was sold in packs of three or more. One tube is a lifetime supply. I've never seen a tube of chapstick go all the way to it's bottom...not like deodorant or toothpaste. Why would anyone need three tubes of the same flavor? It was long before my powerful skills of deductive reasoning...deduced an answer: You have to buy multiple tubes because the chapstick ends up on a milk carton within at most a month of breaking it's seal. It's designed so it's easy to lose because that way you can sell more chapstick. I would take action to end this injustice and start a peaceful yet effective boycott (in the image of the Mohandas), but the alternative of dealing with chapped lips is too great a price to pay if that's the cost of making my principled stand against the chapstick tyranny.

The real question is, where do all of this missing tubes of chapstick go? Over the course of my life, I estimate the number of my own personal L O S T tubes to be in the hundreds. That's enough chapstick to provide lip care for a small European nation.

It reminds me of a chapter in one of my favorite novels ever: "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." Douglas Adams spent four of his two thousand pages (in the complete series) discussing the fate of L O S T ballpoint pens. He posited that the pens are created knowing that there is a planet out in the previously mentioned galaxy which is made just for ballpoint pens...like a ballpoint pen heaven. It actually sounded more like Raging Waters than heaven. If only I could find my copy of "The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." Then I'd be able to tell you how that chapter ends.

Currently listening : The Very Best of... Sting & the Police By Sting Release date: 21 February, 2002

11:45 PM - 8 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Is it funny if nobody laughs?
Current mood: recumbent
Category: Religion and Philosophy

I went with my mom to get the car serviced this weekend. The dealership has a deal with the local movie theater to provide free movie tickets for people who's servicing will last longer than 3 hours. Since we fell into this unfortunate catagory (unfortunate because you have to spend half a day at the dealership, not because you get to go see a movie), our afternoon at the movies was on the dealership.

It's not often that I go to the movies without knowing what I'm going to see before I get there. That day we had three choices at the time we arrived at the theater: "The Hitcher," "Smokin' Aces" and "Night at the Museum." My mom's vote was for "The Hitcher" which I thought was a bit overzealous on her part. I had to remind her that like bad Mexican food and right-wing politicians, scary movies don't agree with her...none of those three agree with me either but I'll watch a scary movie...as long as it's daytime or I'm not by myself...and there's plenty of time between when I watch the movie and when I go to sleep. "Smokin' Aces" was a movie that I would probably end up seeing later with some friends...so "Night at the Museum" won by default.

I enjoy Ben Stiller movies, especially because he's fond of the Romantic Comedy...and that's my genre. "Night at the Museum," although mostly a kid movie, had some fairly entertaining moments. Anytime you mix a monkey with a double-entendre you have a recipe for funny. Ricky Gervais, of the British version of "The Office" was hilarious playing...well, the character that he always plays anytime I've ever seen him acting (If it's works...why change it? Right Tom Cruise...Right?). It wasn't a great movie (the type I would later purchase on the DVD) but it was a good way to kill two hours (the type you wouldn't make plans to watch, but that you wouldn't change the channel on) while your waiting for your car.

The problem was that when we went to see the movie at 12:05 in the afternoon, we were in a theater of 6 people (4 other very very quiet people). Being a co-star in two middle school plays (one of which was a musical, the other of which was Shakesphere), in my humble opinion, comedies require laughter to get momentum going. If you watch a movie and no one laughs at the jokes...how funny is it?

I can watch comdies at home on TV or DVD and still LOL...by myself. I've never been shy about laughing, but if you're the only one laughing in big movie theater, it's like yelling with your mouth closed...not quite that effective and it takes away from the overall funny of the movie. It probably has to do with the contagion quality to laughter. When you hear other people laughing you don't quite feel so bad drawing attention to yourself with your own hooting and hollering.

I was thinking about how I would've felt about "Borat" has I seen it in an empty theater. Would I feel the same way about it? I would have to say that I wouldn't because without the laughter "Borat" was more depressing than hilarious. If you want to see a great movie that is slightly depressing but still incredible, go see "Children of Men."

Currently listening : These Streets By Paolo Nutini Release date: 05 September, 2006

10:42 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

American Idolotry
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Introduction

I've been watching American Idol and I have quite a few thoughts on the show and it's surrounding shenanigans. However no one I hold regular conversation with, watches (or, understandably, will admit to watching the show). I, on the other hand, have very little shame when it comes to television and will not only admit but take pride in watching anything with even a modicum of entertainment value.

Therefore, I figured I would publish my thoughts over the dubya-dubya-dubya. Hence...this blog. This may get long-winded (I realize it's long, you don't have to post it in a comment) and without direction, so I've taken the liberty of providing headings for your reading enjoyment.

Karaoke Revolution

As I've mentioned earlier, I've been nearly-obsessed (which is not quite as bad as obsessed) with the game Karaoke Revolution. If you're not familiar with Konami's gift to the world, the point of the game is to sing selected songs into a microphone connected to the video game console. The microphone then grades your pitch and ability to sing the words on time. 

It's a lot of fun with a group of friends...and can also lead to abuse if you don't suppress your urge to sing alone. A number of mornings have started with a sore throat and regrets from too much singing. Thankfully, I think I've been able to gain control of my urge to sing on my own, and I now only sing in moderation...or with large groups of people (Social Karaoke Revolution-ing).

I think part of the reason for my near-obsession is that I'm pretty amazing at the game. I get Diamond records (singing the song without any errors) with ease on the Hard level...so long as it's the right song ("Drive" by Incubus, "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain, "If You Could Only See" by Tonic or any song on the game that would be deemed "80's") This may lead you and has lead others to think that I have singing talent and/or ability. Do not be so easily fooled! I merely have good control of my pitch...this does not mean that my singing is pleasing to the ear...it's only pleasing to the machine.

I was recently at a friend's house playing Karaoke Revolution and racking up the Diamonds, when I fooled my friend's mother into thinking that I have singing talent and/or ability. She, far too kindly, said that I should try out for American Idol. Though I was very flattered, I quickly informed her of the reality which I've written for you above. Do not be fooled...I merely have good control of my pitch...this does not mean I sound pleasing to the ear...merely that it is pleasing to the machine.

But I was intrigued by her far too kind compliment...and for the first time since online video clips of William Hung, I watched the audition process of American Idol.

The Auditions

I was watched the voting portion of the show, where America is involved in choosing it's Idol, but I've never seen the audition portions. I was really surprised with the candor of the judges. If you were bad, they let you know. But not only did they inform you of your poor performance...they did it in a way that made you never want to sing again. I remember watching last week's episodes and thinking afterwards, "Man, I don't even want to sing at home by myself...or in the shower (where the acoustics are really good)." And I was only watching other people's auditions.

If my life's goal was to become a singer, and someone who is a professional in the field told me that I was a terrible singer, in the style that those judges told the people auditioning...it would be soul-crushing.

Soul Crushing

Thankfully, I have only experienced having my soul crushed at one other point in my life. It was during my first ever City League Basketball game. We had a team that was good enough to win 65% of it's pickup games at a local park...and a lot of gumption. No one told me that this wasn't enough to make for a manageable City League Basketball game.

The team we played was called the Nomads...which sounded like an easy win. Little did I know that their smallest player was the size of our biggest. I realized that this would be a game I would never forget after I fouled their biggest player outside of the three point line, by hanging onto one of his arms. I did this because I was tired of him hitting 3's (he had made 4 straight at that time) over me. It was after I fouled him that he subsequently shot the ball underhanded...with his left hand...and made it. I wish I was making this up. That was probably the exact moment I had my soul crushed. The moment where you realize there is nothing you can do to stop the hurting...except to never play against the Nomads.

We lost that game by 40 points. It wasn't enough to make me want to never play basketball, but it was enough to make me never want to join that league again. To this day, hearing the word "Nomad" even in the context of Bedouins or other people of the desert sends a chill down my spine.

Rosie O'Donnell

I like Rosie...I don't have any concrete reason for this admiration as she says things that would annoy me if they had a different source. I'm guessing it stems from when she wasn't giving her "View"s and had her own show. I liked that she used to give the audience all this cool stuff. She still does that on "The View" which might be why my admiration continues.

So last week, Rosie discussed the soul crushing of the judges on "Idol" and how she thought that it was reprehensible to publicly humiliate people who probably aren't in their right mind. Her theory was that these people obviously can't sing and should not be going on national television to audition. Therefore, because they do go on TV, they are not thinking clearly and "American Idol" has a duty not to show footage of Simon Cowell calling them talentless and ugly.

My "View" (some call recycling a joke 'hackey'...I call it 'clever')

Where I would usually agree with Rosie (like on the Donald Trump issue and that Paula seemed to be highly intoxicated on last week's Idol), I find myself in respectful disagreement with her when it comes to this issue.

People who go on that show and audition this season have to know what to expect. The show has been on for six years and the judges have been insulting people long before that. If you audtion for Idol, and they don't like your singing...they've never been nice or supportive about their dislike. The show is not known for it's coddling. It's known for it's brutal honesty. If you audition and you've never seen the show, then it should be shocking and embarrassing to you to be so publicly reprimanded...but 99% of these people should be prepared for what to expect.

It's an entirely different but completely related (big ups Yogi Berra) issue of whether or not America should be taking pleasure in said brutality. If people didn't enjoy watching the helpless and untalented be verbal battered at the hands of an Englishman, then the show wouldn't have the ridiculous ratings and huge sponsorships. But the voyeurism of Reality TV has always allowed us for a non-guilty way to watch other people be mean to each other. Though we admonish the TV personalities while we talk to our friends the morning after, we tune in to the same show the next week...and the cycle repeats.

So I watched the show today, and I couldn't help but notice that there weren't quite as many hateful remarks made to bad singers. My guess is there were probably one too many blogs about soul crushing judges, which resulted in last-minute creative editing.



PSS

Big-ups to Juan for the gist of the last line of this entry...He said it during an AIM conversation about the topic, and I told him I would use it and not give him any credit. Here's your credit Bizz, don't say I never gave you nothing.

Currently listening : Blinking Lights and Other Revelations By Eels Release date: 26 April, 2005

10:14 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Lines and the People Who Wait in Them
Current mood: amused
Category: Religion and Philosophy

I was watching the news the last night and the focus (outside of the Golden Globes) was on the extreme cold in Southern California. It's been in the 30's nearly every night for the past week.

So after the 6 different versions of the weather (weather in HD, the 10 day, the live shots from Temecula etc.), the news cuts to a group of people in Fountain Valley waiting outside of an electronics store for a new video game. I wasn't sure which game it was exactly but it looked like some new version of Warcraft (big ups Nelso). It seemed like they would be waiting until the opening of the store the next day (the details escape me). I do remember that they were really excited because they would be able to get the autographs of the programmers on their video game boxes. After my initial laughter (at the fact that programmers had become celebrities) died down, all I could think about was...is there anything worth waiting for, especially under these conditions, for at least 12 hours?

And it's not like this is an uncommon occurrence...or a glitch in the Matrix. This is something that happens all the time. People were waiting days for the new Nintendo Wii and weeks for the PS3. Could these video games possibly be worth that kind of commitment? It's hard to believe that they could live up to an investment like that.

Say you do wait for a week (a conservative estimate) for the PS3...and it's the best video game system (despite only having a handful of games and costing at least $600) that you have ever played. You have to know, in the back of your mind, that eventually they are going to make something better...like a PS4...and as much fun as you're having now, you're just going to have to get back into that line two short years from now. Why not just wait a few weeks and save yourself the trouble?

Plus as soon as you get home from your marathon of time killing in the not-so-great outdoors, you're going to be cranky and irritable. But you've waited so long...you have to set the thing up, then play a couple of games...just to justify your actions. I'm exhausted just thinking about that process.  

If we were in a recent-post-Cold War Russian line...waiting for...I don't know...meat. I would understand fighting the elements (at their record worst) in order to provide sustinence for yourself and your family. Because if you didn't, you would die a slow, painful death. Now, this is something worth waiting in line to avoid. Video games...not so much.

Maybe video games don't mean as much to me as they do to the people in those lines...even though I love video games (most recently Karaoke Revolution, of which I am a master and Fight Night 3, of which I have much improvement to make), I can say with all certainty, I'm not going to lose sleep waiting for their sequels to be released.

So let's try to imagine something that I might be able to wait days in line for. I really like L O S T, in case you didn't already know...would I wait a week outside just so I could watch episodes of it before anybody else does. No. Maybe that's not a good example because much of the fun of L O S T is discussing it with others.

How about basketball. I really like basketball...and the Lakers. I love the Lakers. Would I wait out in the cold just to buy tickets to a game? Nope...I'd rather watch it on TV that endure that punishment. What if it was a playoff game? Maybe I would wait a night...but probably not. How about a Lakers Finals Game? Hmmm...I would definitely give up a night of sleep...but a week? Oh no...not even for the Lakers in the Finals...and I love the Lakers...and the NBA Finals.

Maybe if that line in Fountain Valley that those guys were waiting in was for girlfriends instead of video games...they would never have to wait in another line again.  

Currently listening : It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back By Public Enemy Release date: 02 May, 1995

2:43 PM - 6 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

The Jury Duty Chronicles
Current mood: mellow
Category: News and Politics

When I got the jury duty summons in the mail, I wasn't worried. What are the odds that they're going to pick you to serve in the first place. I'll just go to the assembly room, hang out for a few hours read my Grisham and call it a wasted Monday. They probably won't even ask me to come in at all. I even told some friends about it but in a joking way. Like, yeah, I'm going to be on a jury...only with sarcasm that doesn't translate through blog.

"Dude, I gotta call in for jury duty tonight."
"Don't worry, man, you won't even have to go in. And if, for some reason, you end up in the box...they're not going to take you because they don't want people on the jury that know anything about the law." (I promise you could hear the italics in that sentence when it was said out loud)

So, I called on that Sunday night. The mechanical voice on the other end of the phone said I didn't have to report. One day down, four more to go.

So Monday night I call, and was told to report. I went into the jury assembly room and revisited elementary school with a roll-call where my name was butchered (which is something I don't mind at all because I like to see different interpretations...some people like to hear what different critics say about a Picasso).

Then we watched a video (also like elementary school) about how important my service was, about how much fun it is to see the judicial process at work and about all the friends I'm going to make along the way.

And even though all of those things were probably true, after all is said and done, it's no incentive to the people who would much rather be anywhere else. But that didn't apply to me because they never pick anyone who knows something about the law to be on a jury (at least those are the words I kept repeating...silently...in my head...like my very own mantra).

So, I hadn't been sitting for about 10 minutes, reading my book and looking around at the rest of the citizens doing their civic duty, when my name is called, and I'm instructed to report to a courtroom along with 29 others.

We go up to the courtroom, while I silently repeat my mantra. We sit in the courtroom and the clerk says that a computer has randomly selected a list of names and those people are to sit in the jury box. My name gets called. I sit down...but I'm not worried. You know why? Of course you do...

So then they ask everyone questions about what they do and where they live and if they're biased...and it came to me and I answered their questions, and after telling them I went to law school and passed the bar exam, it was just going to be a matter of time until I was replaced...

A funny thing happened, though. When it came time to exercise challenges and start dismissing people that the attorneys didn't want on their juries...I kept getting passed by. It wasn't until the clerk was reading the juror's oath that I realized what had actually happened. I'd just been impaneled. So much for mantras.

The next eight days were interesting...to say the least.   

Currently listening : Hell Hath No Fury By Clipse Release date: 28 November, 2006

12:23 AM - 7 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

The Dark Side of Borat...and Vegas.
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

I went to Vegas (baby!) this weekend with some buddies (big ups to Mike Ho and little ups to the soon to be MySpace'd J-Bizzel). The one thing that Vegas brings to the forefront is it's ability to take anything and amplify it a thousand fold. The lights are brighter, the sounds are louder and the smells...are smellier? Anyway, all of this combined with the aninimity that being in Vegas allows for, leads to people going overboard. They drink more than they should, they eat more than they should, they spend more money than they should...but it's okay cause it's Vegas (baby! Vegas!). What I found out on this trip to Sin City was that there is one thing that should not be splurged on...and it's bad Borat impersonations.

It was impossible to count the amount of times I was walking through the casino and heard drunken cowboy #3 saying, "I like...very much...U.S and A." (the reason it was a cowboy butchering Borat was because the national rodeo was being held in town). There were also frat guys going to the bathroom to, "make a...brown." And cougars throwing dice yelling, "Wa Wa Wee Wa."

There's nothing wrong with doing impressions...if it's a good impression. I'll do a little Borat myself every once in a while (however, I spend hours each day in front of the mirror practicing...and I also draw on a fake mustache...and wear a gray [like the anatomy] suit). There's also nothing wrong with doing impressions, if it's a bad impression. But this is only on the condition that all parties are aware that it's a bad impression.

When you hear a thousand bad Borat impressions coming from people who believe they nailed it...you start to wish that the movie (which I have previously called the funniest ever) was made by Christopher Walken instead of Sascha Baron Cohen...because nobody ever does a Christopher Walken impression.

Next time, vistors of Vegas, I'm hoping for a little less conversation...and a little more action.

PS: No ups to "Penny Lane" for freezing the i-Pod during the first half hour of the return drive. It was because of this incident that we were forced to listen to each other sing Macguyvered versions (no one knew the words) of Gary Jule's "Mad World".

Currently listening : The Beatles 1 By The Beatles Release date: 14 November, 2000

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