I stole this because I think that the world needs to know about Vin Diesel...

Originally posted on November 13, 2005 at 10:14pm

10:14 PM - 180 Comments - 1000220 Kudos - Add Comment

Christmas is starting to rear it's ugly head around the corner again...
Current mood: content

Can anyone direct me to The Island of Misfit Toys? I wanna live there with the misfit girl doll. She seems to be my type of girl... You know, the crying type.

(Originally posted on October 27th, 2005 at 5:09am.)

Currently watching : It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown Release date: 12 September, 2000

5:02 AM - 24 Comments - 24 Kudos - Add Comment

Girls on film part II

Ok, so I've shot a bunch of crap for my portfolio, and now I am looking to start shooting girls to feature on my site. If you know of anyone, or are someone that may be interested, please read this blog and my other blog entitled "Girls on film" (part I). Click here to see "Girls on film" Part I

Below are my newest photos that I've shot of a few lovely ladies on my last two shoots...

The first shoot was a bit of a rush job (the day that I shot Eri, Natsumi, Sisilia, and Sara). The second shoot I made sure to only book two models (Bianca and Sara). I brought Sara back for the second shoot because I rushed her through the first one and didn't get enough stuff shot.

Most of the girls have myspace pages... Here are a couple if you wanna tell them how much you liked their photos yourself.

Eri = http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=553091

Sisilia = http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=17184521

Sara = http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=27022

Bianca = http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=133665

Anyway, hope you guys like 'em!

(I love receiving comments, but if you decide to comment, please DO NOT comment about a specific model because I don't want to make this blog a popularity contest! Thanks!)

5:21 AM - 375 Comments - 590 Kudos - Add Comment

ADD ME ADD ME ADD ME!
Current mood: accomplished

Ok, myspace whores of the world, do your bidding. I know that ninety percent of you that post comments for me do it so that other people will see your avatar and click to go to your profile. (I'm not as stupid as I look, kids! )

So here is your chance to put a free ad on my page and not have to leave a "Thanks for the add!!!" (should be "ad") comment.

Leave a comment on this blog, basically telling people (not me, I add everyone!) why they should add you, and hopefully, if people think you're awesome enough, they'll add you. This blog does allow HTML (there should be icons for leaving photos or links that you just click on), so you can post a photo of yourself to sweeten the deal, or you can put an annoying flashy graphic to catch peoples' attention.

Good luck and happy whore-ing!

(Again, this is a blog for you to tell OTHER PEOPLE why they should add you, if that is what you want. This is not where you tell me why I should add you, because most of you are already on my friends list already. DUH.)

6:25 AM - 886 Comments - 920 Kudos - Add Comment

And it's all your fault I screen my phone calls...
Current mood: amused

Ok. Seriously.

Do people really believe that I am so crazy that I would post my cell phone number for my one-hundred thousand closest friends on myspace?

People!!! Ok.

Of course I didn't do this.

Apparently, someone hacked into my account (as well as a number of other users that have a high-volume number of friends) and posted a bulletin. The bulletin said:

"Hey guys, people have been constantly asking me for my cell phone number. Well, here it is, don't be afraid to call! Don't worry you won't be bugging me or anything."

The bulletin also included a phone number which I won't post here (for obvious reasons).

I don't know whose phone number it was. I can tell you that it definitely WAS NOT mine. As a matter of fact, I'm guessing that it was probably one of those scams that gets you to call a number and then charges you, like, millions of dollars to be put on hold. So if I was you and I called this number, I would check my next phone bill.

Anyway, I just thought that it was pretty funny, actually, not funny... It was pretty annoying that every person responded to that bulletin saying something to the extent of, "are you sure you should be doing that?", or "you must be crazy."

Um, I would think that the most of you would expect better from me! Shame on you! And for those of you that didn't expect better, then you're probably justified in thinking so.

Ok, for one, I would never tell anyone that they wouldn't be bugging me, because they, in fact, would be.

Secondly, anyone should be afraid to call me. I am an evil tyrant who will bore a person to death on the phone.

Anyway, since I am here, I have to complain (yeah, what's new). What's up with people that send twenty group invites consecutively? Do they think that this will get people to join... more? I mean, I understand that sometimes it's caused by myspace errors and the invites get submitted more than once. But I know there are hard-up people that just hit submit one-hundred times hoping that their invite will not go ignored. Dude. This makes me want to block that person, their group, and every person on that person's friend list. Geez! That is annoying!

Another thing that is annoying is when people e-mail me and solicit bulletins from me. If I don't know you personally, I'm not going to post bulletins asking people to add you. Even if I know you, I might not even do it. Every time I post a bulletin, I get at least three to four hundred responses to it. Why would I give myself this much work so that someone that I don't know and that doesn't give a rat's ass about me can have more myspace friends?

So... People that solicit bulletins... Pay close attention. Here is your opportunity to post your ad on my page...

The blog after this will be entitled "ADD ME ADD ME ADD ME!"

If you want people to randomly add you to their friends list, then post a comment on that blog telling people why they should add you. And stop bugging me about bulletins! Oh, and don't say that I never did anything for you either.

Currently watching : Super Size Me Release date: 15 February, 2005

5:32 AM - 27 Comments - 37 Kudos - Add Comment

Girls on film...

Originally posted July 14th, 2005 at 1:41AM

Calling all models, aspiring-models, actresses, singers, dancers, secretaries, janitors, or whatever the hell you are... As long as you're hot, and in LA, I want to shoot you! I am looking to shoot girls that have a unique look, and are open to doing experimental photos.

SORRY, I'M NOT LOOKING FOR BOYS CURRENTLY! Maybe in the future... (I just know that if I left it open for both sexes, I'd be flooded with strange men wanting me to "make them famous" as adult stars. I'll have to pass on that for now. EW.)

I don't have many specifications for what I am looking for... Basically, if you're over 18 years of age (have two forms of ID), and are living in or will be visiting the Los Angeles area any time soon, I would love to get a day or half day to capture some images.

My biggest requirement is being comfortable with your body. I am shooting sexy images. This doesn't necessarily mean that nudity is required, but I would like to say that you have to be comfortable with doing implied nudity at the very least. If you are comfortable with nudity, then AWESOME. Chances are more than likely that I will want to shoot you in that case.

I also do makeup, just in case you're not comfortable doing it yourself... Of course, this means a longer day of shooting.

I would like to shoot the photos mainly for portfolio usage on my websites, and for promos. In return, you can use the photos for your portfolio and/or promotional use.

I shoot all digital, and what usually happens is that I'll shoot raw files. I'll edit the photos that I choose, and send the finished ones over to you.

All that I ask is that I receive photo credit, and that you don't sell the photos to other websites, etc. Common knowledge, I know... But you'd be surprised.

Anyway, here are some of the more PG13 images that I've shot of my friends recently...

Also, here are a few links to their pages:

Hannah: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=129537

AJ: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=26972905

Megan: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=741468

Hannah

AJ

Megan

Cassidey Rae

Diana

Liz

Coyle

Tony

As you can see from my photos, I don't usually like shooting typical "glamour" photos, but every now and then, a glamour set will find its way into my portfolio. If I shoot you, don't worry... It doesn't necessarily mean that I will pour blood onto your face. I will work within your comfort zone because it is important to me that you like the finished product as much (if not more) than I do. If you want to check out my photo journal where I fuck around and post photos, please check out myawesomepictures.com

So... If you're interested in shooting, please send me a message, or fill out my model form here. Make sure to e-mail photos after filling out my form. My email is cherie@cherieroberts.com

Look forward to shooting with ya!

1:41 AM - 157 Comments - 1000220 Kudos - Add Comment

Headlines and boobs...
Current mood: dirty

Although I do love the show 'The Family Guy', the quote "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" does not originate from this show.

I got the quote from one of my favorite movies, 'The Shining', but it was first documented in James Howell's 'Proverbs in English, Italian, French and Spanish' published in 1659.

That was just a little FYI for the people who keep telling me that I am ripping off 'The Family Guy'. In actuality, I am ripping off James Howell. Who'da thunk it...? I actually never even saw the episode where that phrase is used.

In other news, YES THEY ARE REAL.

Now stop asking how much they cost. Actually, I'll tell you how much...

They cost my mother nine months of pregnancy, twelve hours in a delivery room, and sixteen years of child-rearing. They cost me five trips to Planned Parenthood and seven years intake of Ortho Tri-cyclen. I wonder how much money that all equated to...? Maybe it is cheaper to just buy them.

Anyway, if you want a pair of your own, you know where to go... Straight to hell. Seriously. Boobs are sinful. Ask George Bush. He'll tell you the truth. Boobs are evil.

I'm not actually watching Dracula... It's on the TV playing in the background.

Currently watching : Dracula - Dead and Loving It Release date: 29 June, 2004

5:14 PM - 126 Comments - 136 Kudos - Add Comment

Luck be a lady...

I finally got my computer back (a grand and a half later). At least all of my data has been recovered... I have to go out and buy fifty DVDs to back up everything before my hard drive crashes again.

So I was thinking about things today, and I started trying to figure out why my luck is so shitty. I was thinking that it couldn't be karma, because I did all of my bad things my teenage years, and I'm positive that I've paid all of that crap off, like two fold. And I know that I didn't always have bad luck...

And then it dawned on me... All of these freaking chain letters. I mean, seriously, I should have enough bad luck to last me ten lifetimes from all of the people on this site that think it's cool to send their crappy chain letters to me. So thanks, assholes.

I will never be able to get my life together, and it's all your fault. From now on, I am blocking everyone that sends me a chain letter, because in my opinion, a "friend" wouldn't try to ruin a "friend's" life by sending them potential bad luck.

BASTARDS! DIE! DIE!

*EDIT* BTW, I don't actually believe in chain letters. If I did, I would've gotten off of this site a year ago. I was kidding, people! Don't get me wrong, I still hate chain letters and will block people that send them to me. I just don't believe in them.

3:42 PM - 111 Comments - 139 Kudos - Add Comment

Hard times...
Current mood: stressed

I am regretful to inform everyone that recently, my hard drive has passed on. I am still grieving its passing, and have yet to replace it. We've already held memorial services for it...

Unfortunately, I was a bad little idiot and never backed up ANY of my data. And I knew better because this was my SECOND drive to crash... Crash once, shame on you; Crash twice, shame on me... I know, I know.

Anyway, luckily for me, Hannah is visiting with her laptop so at the very least, I can still check my myspace. I fear I may fall behind on work! Ok, I am already behind but now I fear that I may fall SEVERELY behind on work... And I can't shoot photos because I have nothing to upload to!

Life is but a bitch...

(I did not put Freddy vs. Jason on... It was on the tellie and I didn't bother to change the channel.)

Currently watching : Freddy vs. Jason (New Line Platinum Series) Release date: 14 September, 2004

12:17 AM - 31 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

Bored? Help put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

Someone sent me this awesome puzzle... I don't know if it's a hint that they want me cut to pieces, but I thought it would be neat to share...
.. classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab..version=6,0,0,0" WIDTH="570" HEIGHT="750" id="puz281184">

3:47 PM - 48 Comments - 56 Kudos - Add Comment

F.A.Q. for GIRLS (or pretty boys)

I was going to put this blog into my F.A.Q. blog originally, but then it became really long and weird, so I decided to make a second blog for girls to read. Besides, I knew that the boys would get all mad and freaky and would harass me for obligating them to read an unauthorized peek into girl world.

I love girls! Not in the gay way. I think women are beautiful, and the female body is much more aesthetically-pleasing to the eye than the male body is, hands-down. This is not some strange coincidence, as you ladies know. We put a lot of work into looking the way that we do, and obviously spend a lot of the hard-earned green in keeping it that way.

So I've made this blog because I get many questions from females asking what I do personally to keep my looks up. And from one girl to another, I have to say, I DO ALOT to keep myself looking cute and clean. I also get many modeling questions, so I am going to do my best to help out the female race the best way that I can...

So first question is... How do I become a model like you?

How would you do what I do...? Well... That's a good question.

I'd say that first of all, you should be mentally prepared. Is this what you really want to do with the next five to ten years of your life?

If so, you also have to take into consideration that PHOTOS ARE FOREVER. You will not always get positive input from people, so you have to be prepared to live with yourself at the end of the day.

Also, what are your intentions for getting into this business? I've seen many girls get into this business for the wrong reasons. Make sure that it is not a lack of attention that is driving you to want to get naked.

If these things do not concern you, or if you think that you can hack it, then read on.

I'd say that you should start off by getting professional photos shot of you... This doesn't mean going out and spending a load of cash. Have a friend that is into photography shoot you... Remember that the object of a job to make money.

After that, submit your photos to different sources, depending on what you would want to do i.e. magazines, agencies, etc. A lot of times, magazines will not take you right off of the bat, but they may offer advice on what you may do to work with them or to work, period (change your look, get better photos, etc). From there, it's easier to start establishing yourself by making contacts, etc.

Also remember that a lot of times, in the beginning, you may have to accept lower paying jobs or do TFP shoots to kind of "pay your dues".

Another good way to find modeling jobs is to get a profile on a site like onemodelplace.com. This site is extremely helpful if you need to get a book together. Also, keep in mind that your safety is the most important thing in this industry, so make sure to check out references to make sure that the people that you deal with are strictly professional.

That's about all of the advice I can offer for getting started... Just make sure to come off as friendly, professional, and a pleasure to work with once you start getting jobs so that you may get booked again, or to receive referrals.

How do you stay in shape?

I don't stay in shape.

But if I did, I'd recommend working out at least three days a week. Make sure to include a good amount of cardio in your routine, like say 20 minutes of Stairmaster or jogging. Again, I don't really do anything to stay in shape, hence the toneless "soft" body. This is also probably why I still have real boobs...

I'd also recommend staying on a strict diet. I gave advice to my brother who wanted to lose twenty pounds, and it has worked for him, so I guess I made a lucky guess. I told him to try to cut down the carbs in his diet by eating carbs only before noon. This includes soft drinks, fruits, energy bars, breads, pastas... Basically, anything sweet or starchy.

After noon, eat protein-y types of foods like nuts, meats, or vegetables. Drink a lot of water instead of soda.

Instead of eating three big meals a day, try to eat six times a day and eat smaller portions. This way you give your body more opportunity to metabolize your food instead of storing it as fat.

If there are any other cutbacks that your diet can afford, like drinking green tea instead of coffee in the morning, or buying light versions of whatever it is that you eat, this may also aid you in your quest for staying in shape.

Try to stay away from foods that have hydrogenated oils. Apparently, they will kill you (or so I've been told).

That is really all the health advice that I can offer seeing as how I don't do anything to stay in shape myself. And to the health gurus that are reading this and saying "she is totally fucking wrong," I really don't know what I am talking about. I am just telling you what has worked for people that I know.

Do you have any beauty advice to offer?

Beauty advice... I guess this is a little bit difficult since I don't know what you'd want to know specifically. But let's see... I'll just give tips on all makeup subjects. For a short time, I did makeup for photo shoots and came across many helpful products and tips while on the job.

Moisturizers are a must. Anyone that reads beauty magazines probably knows this, but just in case, I really recommend moisturizer immediately after getting out of the shower. Good brands that I recommend...? The ultimate moisturizer is Crème de la Mer... If you're not willing to shell out 200 bucks for a moisturizer though, go with a simple moisturizer like Kiehl's. I like their Ultra Facial Moisturizer the most and it's much more affordable at 20 bucks. If you budget is super tight, I'd say try using Olay Complete All-Day Moisture Lotion. At 7 bucks, you can't really go wrong.

Ok, so I know I sound like a hypocrite for saying so, but girls, if you are doing fine without wearing base, then don't start. Skin has a much healthier glow without wearing heavy foundations, and the more natural that you look, the better. Also, once you get started wearing base, you're pretty much doomed to it forever because it'll start looking strange to you when you don't wear it. Trust me, I've fallen into this trap and wish that I never started. But if you have to wear base, I really like Prescriptives. Another good brand to try for foundation is Laura Mercier. For powder, I like Shu Uemura. For concealer, I like Clé de Peau Beauté. For day to day wear, these suggestions should be good. On shoots, of course you have to cake makeup on so I usually use the typical studio makeups like Dermablend or Blasco.

Most of the colors I use for blush and eye shadow are MAC, unless I am looking for a very specific color that they don't carry. For bronzer, I use Guerlain.

The best makeup brushes you can buy are usually Shu Uemura, but you may find particular brushes you like elsewhere. Also, make sure to pick up their brush cleaner too. Cleaning your brushes periodically helps to prevent breakouts. Also important... Makeup Wedges. These spongy white applicators help to apply and blend base, and can be used for a variety of uses. Pointed-makeup-Q-tips are also good for blending eyeliner and for correcting mistakes in makeup application.

For lip liners, I use MAC. Cedar is my favorite color. Lipsticks, I really like Chanel but use MAC as well. Lip-gloss… I like the Lancôme Juicy Tubes, but also like Chanel. Also,
Kiehl's Moisturizing Lip Glosses... These come in clear, little apothecary jars. The colors are rich, thick, and true to the color that they actually look. This is a rarity. Lately, I just really like a natural gloss like the Kiehl's Tinted Gloss... It's simple and good for on-the-go wear. Another good product for the natural look is Lip Venom. If you don't mind the burning and tingling, then you'll have swollen lips that are nice and rosy.

Pimple creams... I use the Mario Badescu drying lotion/cream whatever it's called. A few makeup artists recommended it to me in times of need. Only thing is, be careful not to overuse it because it dries up blemishes pretty thoroughly and may over dry that patch of skin.

Eyeliner... Chanel. I love the texture of their black pencil liner... Really thick and creamy, and goes on black. Mascara, I love Shu Uemura although I've been recommended Chanel a million times. The good thing about Shu Uemura is that it doesn't uncurl your lashes after you've curled them like a lot of mascaras do. Also, I've also used Maybelline Great Lash Waterproof and didn't have a problem with it (although it did uncurl lashes a little bit). It's also much more affordable at 5 bucks, compared to 30-40 bucks for the others. Eyelash curler... Shu Uemura. Hands-down. Eyebrow mascara... Caboodles Clear Mascara is great for taming out-of-control eyebrows. Eyebrow Pencils...Maybelline Expert Eyes pencil liners... Great for filling in eyebrows.

For face wash, believe it or not, I use Noxzema Moisturizing Cleanser. I've used it since I was 12, and am now too scared to switch over. I have ridiculously sensitive skin, so I try not to change brands too often because I usually break out either in rashes, dry patches, or pimples. Anyway, I would say that Cetaphil is probably a better brand to go with. And it's still affordable at 10 bucks. Another lifesaver is Pond's Cleansing and Makeup Remover Towelettes. They are great for when I am too busy (lazy) to wash my face.

Hair products... I typically like a lot of Bumble&Bumble products. I like their Thickening Spray, Prep Spray, Styling Spray, Surf Spray, and their anti-frizz stuff (whatever it's called). Pomade or wax, I like MOP. Hairspray, I like Sebastian, Big Sexy Hair, or Joico. Shampoo and conditioner, I like Sorbie. I also recommend a leave-in conditioner like Bumble&Bumble for damaged or color-treated hair. For deep-conditioning (which you should do weekly if you color your hair), I recommend Kérastase. I also like using Frederic Fekkai blue shampoo for my blonde hair to keep out brassiness. Don't over do the blue shampoos though because your hair may end up looking dull.

I like using Hot Tools for most hair appliances i.e. curling irons, dryers, etc. There are much better straightening irons on the market though.

Nail polishes, I like Essie. Make sure that you use a base coat, do two coats of color, and then use a nice top coat like Seche Vite. It also helps to buff your nails pretty well before painting to avoid chipping.

Also, I am sorry to say, but long nail-shop nails really aren't hot anymore. They're way too hard to keep up with, and end up looking tacky. I keep my nails short and basic. Not short as in boy short, but modestly short. Your fingers should not attract more attention than your face (because it's sad if that is all you have to offer). Graphics are not necessary but can be cute if done properly.

I personally like my fingers and toes to look very simple and sweet. A very pale pink color for my toes, and occasionally, I'll add cute little rhinestones to my big toe. For my hands, I do an American manicure, or sometimes I don't do color at all. Whenever I get a wild hair up my ass, I'll do something really crazy with my finger nails like black and white stripes, or polka dots, etc. Again, this is rare and should be saved for the girls who can match their clothes to their nails.

That's pretty much all of the product endorsing I should do for today... other tips or hints I may have to offer...

Eyebrow grooming is important. I don't mean that you should pluck your eyebrows. I am more the anti-pluck.

Most girls do not know how to pluck their eyebrows themselves, and really shouldn't. Trust me, when I was sixteen, I had maybe three hairs to each eyebrow, so I know what I am talking about here.

If possible, go to a professional to get them done. Eyebrows are very important in keeping your face looking pretty. After all, they are almost the key to expressions, and if you forever have eyebrows that make you look surprised or mad, it can't be a good thing.

If you must do them yourself, please pluck a minimal amount. Meaning... Try not to dig into the bulk of your eyebrow. Just pluck under your eyebrow, on the brow bone. If you go too far up, you may end up having to pencil in your eyebrows forever. Consistent plucking may cause scarring to your hair follicles, and you may not grow eyebrows back, so be careful!

Just keep this in mind... You want to avoid drawing in your eyebrows as much as possible. Hope that helps! Also, they sell eyebrow guides at beauty supply stores that may help you to get your shape right... Once you get that correctly, you can upkeep them.

Makeup application... Heavy is bad. Natural is good. You never want your face to look like it's superimposed onto another face.

When buying foundations, make sure to match the foundation to your cleavage instead of your face. Sometimes, your face may seem lighter or darker than the rest of your body, so you want to make sure that your face MATCHES YOUR BODY. You do not want your face lighter than your body. No matter who tells you so, THIS IS NOT CUTE. Very important. Also make sure that your concealer blends with your skin also. You do not want white circles around your eyes. Looking like a raccoon is not in right now.

Lip lining... Over-drawing your lips slightly is acceptable to give your lip a fuller pout. Extremely over-drawing your lips is not as acceptable. You do not want to look like a kid who got a hold of markers... And do not use a lip liner that is a darker color than your lipstick or gloss. I see this all the time... Brown lip liner, and a pale pink lipstick blended. It's not cute! I swear it!

Another helpful hint to help lips look fuller is to put a dab of iridescent lip gloss in the center of your lips to make your pout stand out more. Sometimes you can even use a shimmering lipstick for this, but make sure to blend it with the rest of your lipstick.

Also, too much gloss can make you look like you just ate fried chicken. Avoid overdoing it.

Eye makeup... Day wear should be minimal. Night wear is negotiable. Typically, the rule is dark lipstick, light eye shadow. Light lipstick, dark eye shadow. This rule can be broken, of course. Dark lips and dark eyes are usually less forgiving than the latter.

When applying eye shadow, blending is usually very important in keeping your eyes looking natural. I wouldn't suggest unblended eye shadow unless you're going for a specific look, and know what you're doing. When using dark eye shadows, try not to go too much above your eyelid crease to avoid looking like you're wearing too much makeup. Again, blending above your crease helps to minimize this effect.

Eyeliner can help to make your eyes "pop", or stand out, but can also make your eyes look small or beady in some cases. Some people can wear eyeliner on the inner lining of their eyes, and others can't. Some only look good with the eyeliner on the top lid, while others fare well with both top and bottom or just bottom. Try out what works best for you.

Eyelashes... When curling lashes, don't crimp down on just the part of the lash closest to your skin… Crimp your eyelashes in several different spots, i.e. the point nearest your skin, give a little slack and crimp and then move a little further out, and then a little further out, until you go almost to the end. This way, your eyelash looks like it has more natural of a curl than a straight eyelash with a kink at the bottom.

Also, do not over-do mascara. Having thick lashes is a good thing, but not when your lashes flake as you blink. Clumpy lashes end up looking like you dipped your face into a vat of oil. Try to use mascara sparingly.

I like using fake lashes for shoots, but if you do not have experience using them, I don't recommend it. The only advice I can offer if you do use them is to make sure that you trim them to fit your eyelid, and to pinch them at the base after applying to stick them to your natural lashes so that they may appear to look more real.

Contouring... Only in style if you are a drag queen or a Broadway stage performer. If you don't know what contouring is, GOOD. Never mind then. On certain occasions, contouring can have exceptions made, like... If you feel you have a really flat nose and feel the NEED to elevate it. Contouring should look as natural as possible... This means blending really well, and using subtle contour colors, like browns instead of blue-based colors.

Remember... Makeup should not be used as a means of changing the way that you look completely. It should be used to complement your beautiful features, and to take attention away from your not-so-beautiful ones.

Tanning... I love Mystic Tan. For those of you that don't know what it is, it is a spray-on tan that lasts for about a week. Its costs vary, anywhere from 20 bucks to 40 bucks a pop, depending on where you go. I recommend Mystic Tan over real tanning because you do not suffer any skin damage, and you get your normal skin back after a week if you don't like it.

My tips for Mystic Tan are to make sure that your skin is well-exfoliated before doing it, and not to use lotion prior to getting it done. I usually make sure to shave the night before to avoid shaving off your color after you get the tan done. After tanning, try to let the solution set as long as you can, but a minimum of four to five hours.

Mystic Tan also sells a line of products to help you maintain your tan, which I found to be very helpful in prolonging the life of my tan. The only problems I find with Mystic Tan are that your hands and feet get blotchy if you don't apply the barrier cream well... When the tan starts to wear off, you start looking dirty and you have to end up exfoliating it all off... And you end up smelling funny the first couple of days after tanning. All-in-all, much better than a real tan...

Hair maintenance... I don't have much hair advice. Here are a couple of tips though...

If you color-treat or use heat-styling appliances, doing a weekly deep-conditioning treatment may be beneficial to the health of your hair.

Perms are bad. I'll let you know when they go back into style.

Use anti-frizz products for taming those pesky flyaway hairs...

Get a haircut that complements your face. Ask your hairdresser for their advice because they are supposed to be trained to do so. Usually, layered cuts help to break up any solidarity you have going on in your hair.

Big hair can look glamorous, but too big can be disastrous. Same goes for flat, straight hair. You don't want to look like you have stringy, thin hair draping from your head. A happy medium is always a good thing.

Plastic Surgery... I don't recommend it at all. Personally, I like looking at girls that look naturally beautiful, but a lot of times, girls feel the pressure to live up to the standards of a critical world. The advice I give...

Getting things done on your face... Everything in moderation is a good motto to live by. Don't over-do your face because it's what everyone looks at when they see you.

Lipo can be a great thing if you have hard-to-get-rid-of spots. If you're too lazy to try to work out, then it’s not such a great thing. Remember that when you get lipo, your body will stop producing fat in the areas that you suck it out of, but that also means that it will produce more fat in areas that you didn't suck it out of. Try hitting the gym first is all I am saying.

If you have cute, perky boobs naturally, don't get them done. Unless you're planning on being a porn star all of your life, big fake boobs will be a big hindrance for your career move into mainstream. Don't get me wrong, there are many girls working in mainstream with big fake boobs... The only drawback to this is that you will probably only get called to play strippers, hookers, sluts, or other sex-related roles. Occasionally, you will also get to play "girl on beach" or "beer-ad girl". Or, if you are one of the lucky girls to break past that, you may be one of the famous fakers (Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Brooke Burke, Jenny McCarthy). Odds are, you will not be as lucky as they. And even they still play sluts, strippers, or other sex-related roles.

If you feel that your breasts are unattractive, and have a complex about their appearance, then I say do what makes you happy. Odds are, you will get your boobs done, and then you will get attention from every sex-hungry male that you ever wanted attention from. That's good if you don't mind that they're only looking at your boobs!

The only occasion that I would actually tell a girl that she should get her breasts augmented are if her boobs were naturally pancake-y or saggy, or if having a baby ruined the natural perkiness that her breasts once had. Otherwise, I can't really give a thumbs-up.

In my experience from seeing girls with boob jobs, the majority of the girls with good boob jobs were girls that had saggy breasts. I guess it might be common sense, because having all the extra room inside of a breast would leave space for an implant to sit naturally. Girls that had smaller, perky breasts would end up with implants that sat really high up on their chest, and looked really stiff. I guess if you like that look though (strangely, many girls do), then go for it.

Ok... I am flat out of advice now. If you have anything else that you want me to answer and add to the list, shoot me over an e-mail!

Hope that my advice, tips, and shopping guide help!

Here are some questions that I am getting and adding into the blog:

So... My boobs are starting to get a little saggy... I am sure maybe nobody else notices or maybe they do... don't care too much... but is there an exercise or something I can do to help them out. Thanks...

Well, there are a few things that I know of or have heard of from friends that help to reduce the effects of gravity.

When I was younger, I used to wear a bra 24 hours a day, only to take it off to shower. My breasts were way perkier, and firmer at the time. After dancing, I started to get all free with my sexuality and stopped wearing a bra. After a couple of months, I noticed that my breasts had significantly "dropped" (girls, you know what I am talking about). I never really started wearing bras again because I am typically a creature of habit. I do know that many of my girlfriends do wear bras all the time, including to sleep, to help stop the pull of gravity on their chests. Some of the girls I have encountered are models that have great-looking boobs, so I totally believe that it works. I am sure that it can't really reverse the effects though.

Also, you might want to try doing different chest exercises. A few girlfriends of mine were complaining that their boobs felt too squishy, and had problems with sagging, so started doing exercises like push-ups, chest presses, and other chest-firming exercises achieved at the gym. If you do not have a gym membership, there are also exercises that are simple and easy that you can do at home. I found these particular exercises on ivillage.com:

Simply do 1-3, 8-15 rep sets of each move, 2-3 times a week and I guarantee you'll see results! Have fun.

1. The Modified Push Up


Lie on your stomach, bend your knees, and cross your ankles. Bend your elbows and place your palms on the floor a bit to the side and in front of your shoulders. Straighten your arms and lift your body so you're balanced on your palms and knees. Tuck your chin a few inches toward your chest so your forehead faces the floor. Tighten your abdominals.
Bend your elbows and lower your entire body at once. Rather than trying to touch your chest to the floor, lower only until your upper arms are parallel to the floor. Push back up. Don't lock your elbows at the top of the movement and don't do the dreaded "head bob." That's when you dip your head toward the floor without moving any other part of your body.
2. Soup Can Press


Lie on your back with your feet flat on the floor and a soup can or dumbbell in each hand. Push the soup cans up so your arms are directly over your shoulders and your palms face away from you. Pull your abdominals in but don't jam your back into the floor; don't let it arch way up, either. Tilt your chin toward your chest.
Lower the soup cans down and a little to the side until your elbows lightly touch the floor. Push the weights back up, taking care not to lock your elbows or allow your shoulder blades to rise off the floor. (Note: Use soup cans of equal weight. When those get too light, you can fill two Pinesol bottles with dried beans or pebbles.)
3. Incline Fly


Lie on the floor with your head, neck and upper back propped up against several large pillows. Hold a soup can or dumbbell in each hand and press the weights directly above your chest, palms facing each other. Tuck your chin to your chest to align your neck with the rest of your spine, and maintain your natural back posture, neither arched nor flattened.
Spreading your arms apart so that your elbows travel down and to the sides, lower the weights until your elbows lightly touch the floor. Maintaining a constant bend in your elbows, lift the weights back up, imagining that you have a barrel lying on your chest and you have to keep your arms wide to reach around it.

Hope these exercises help!

And for the record ladies, saggy breasts are not breasts that have a natural teardrop shape, regardless of what society tells us by praising fake unnatural breasts that have no sag at all. Boobs are not meant to look shiny and plastic, although we seem to think that is the new standard of what is considered beautiful. Don't get me wrong, fake breasts look great and help to boost many girls' confidence levels that may not have had any confidence at all, but there is also nothing wrong with the natural female anatomy. It is womanly to have curves, and to have a little sag to your breast is beautiful. When I say saggy, I am talking about having a fold larger than an inch and a half under your breast (also depends on how large your breasts are). It can't hurt to try to prevent anymore sagging from occuring, so taking preventitive measures can be a good thing! Hope this helps!

12:08 AM - 56 Comments - 102 Kudos - Add Comment

Cherie's Myspace F.A.Q. (I will add questions periodically)

1. Can I add you? If you see what you like, will you go to my page and add me?

Yes, you can add me. I have over twenty thousand some odd friends, it's safe to assume that I add pretty much any one that friend requests me. You don't have to ask my permission, although I really appreciate the gesture of politeness.

And no, if you haven't friend requested me, I probably won't friend request you. I usually just assume that if you ask me to add you, and I don't, you'll end up friend requesting me.

On any given day, I get anywhere from five hundred to a thousand friend requests. It takes me an hour to approve all of my friend requests. I don't usually look at anyone's profiles; I just go to the bottom of the page and hit "select all" until everyone is approved. Given that Myspace is sometimes slow, it can take longer to get through this process. So now that you know that, it's safe to assume that it takes me a couple of hours to sort through e-mail, and after that is done, I probably won't be too keen on friend-requesting you. So please... friend request me. It'll save time for the both of us. Thanks!

2. Can I hit that shit?! Let's hook up!

If I don't know you, I don't think the idea of you "hooking up" with me is too high on my list. I am not big on strangers sticking their manly parts into any of my bodily orifices, so I'll have to pass on that offer.

3. What's your screen name? Let's chat!

I don't have a screen name. And I don't wanna chat! I hate typing and avoid it at all costs.

4. Are you a model? Your pictures look professional.

Yes, I am a model. And yes, most of my photos on my profile are professional.

5. Can you send naked pics of you to me? Where else can I see you?

No, I can not send naked pics to you. If you are over 18 years of age, you can see more photos of me at cherieroberts.com. And yes, I am naked there.

6. You said that you build websites... What sites have you built?

I built my official site that I mentioned above, cherieroberts.com, and I also built my photo journal myawesomepictures.com. I've built other sites as well, but I do not have them around for you to reference to.

7. You also mention that you are a photographer… will you shoot me?

I am an aspiring photographer, so I am crap now. I am always looking for models, but I prefer shooting females in the Los Angeles area. I am trying to build my portfolio, so I will do TFP for female models/actresses/talent that need photos. I will burn a CD of the photos for the model’s use. Give me a day or a half day of your time, and hopefully some good will come out of it. E-mail me if you are interested!

8. I would like to hire you for a shoot/event/project… how do I do this?

First of all, I get paid to work. So if you’re not prepared to pay… then you might have come to the wrong person for your job.

Secondly, if you are a photographer/artist/anything, please be professional. I only shoot with photographers who do extraordinary work, and do not shoot with people that shoot with a Funsaver camera in a hotel room.

On occasion, I will work TFP for PROFESSIONAL photographers… when I say professional, I mean photographers that get paid to shoot or have been published.

As for events, I will work for free for charitable causes if time permits, but I will expect sufficient credentials, references, documentation, etc.

Send me as much information on your project as possible, and I will get back to you as soon as possible, or I will have my booking manager contact you.

9. You seem very angry/sad/easily aggravated… are you?

No. I am just honest, and people on Myspace sometimes like to get on my last nerve. I am extremely happy most of the time. Unfortunately, I only blog about my complaints on Myspace… it makes for more interesting reading.

10. Where will you be appearing at?

I frequently post bulletins on my appearances, and random crap… Add me as a friend, and check your bulletins every now and then to see if anything is going on.

Also, you can check out my site for updates.

11. I would like an autographed photo or poster of you… Where and how can I get one?

I’ve been trying out the EBay thing, but it seems to be a lot more work than I bargained for… I may still list on EBay, but I am selling my products again in my store on my site. Check it out!

12. I left you a comment... Leave me a comment now!

NO.

If I leave you a comment, it's because I want to leave you a comment, not because you're asking me to. If I don't know you, I can't really comment on personal inside joke stuff anyway, and I like to think that is the purpose of comments. So don't hold your breath if you don't know me. I won't be posting a picture of myself on your profile that says, "Thnx 4 the add!!!!".

13. If you do not send this chain letter to 20 people in the next 20 minutes, you will have a lifetime of... (blah blah blah)

Don't bother sending me chain letters, especially the ones that "prove" who are your real friends because they will send them back to you. I won't send them back. I won't send them out. I won't even bother reading them. So don't waste your time... Actually, don't waste your time sending them to ANYone, for that matter.

14. You're really funny/hot/smart/whatever... I don't believe that your profile was written by a girl, and I don't think that a model can know how to spell. This isn't really "you", is it...?

Actually, yes, it is me. I don't really understand this question when I get it either. I'm not much of a feminist, but I find it a little insulting to the female population that people assume that only men can write or be funny...? Or maybe it's just that people assume I'm either an idiot model or using fake pictures... Whatever the case, I am who I am, and I am the chick pictured on the profile.

15. So you're a porn star? How did you get into the business?

I wouldn't really call myself a porn star, but I guess that is just a matter of opinion. I would only say that people that have sex on camera are qualified to be called porn stars. I've heard many different references to what I do for a living... Import model, internet model, glamour model, nude model, playboy model... I like being called an ACME model... generic, all-purpose... whatever.

Anyway, I got started in modeling when I was nineteen. I was dancing at a strip club when a couple of guys (who are now good friends of mine) "discovered" me and shot me for a calendar and trading card company. After that, a few companies approached me to model while working there, including the magazine for the chain that I was dancing for. Soon I started doing appearances and signings for the company, which is where I made connections... The rest is history.

16. How do you have all of these friends?

I spend all of my time going from page to page, friend-requesting everyone on each person's page, because I want to win!

Haha... Really though, most of the people on my friends page asked to be added. I would say that I friend-requested maybe a handful of my friends... All of the rest were suckered in by the "FREE IPOD FOR BEING MY FRIEND" promise.

17. Why haven't you written me back? Why do you hate me? Did I do something wrong?

Dude, chill! I get a crapload of e-mails, and it's really difficult for me to write every person back. I try to write back a good handful of e-mails a day, even if all I say is thanks, but it's very overwhelming! I don't hate you. And you didn't do anything wrong... Well, except for thinking that I hate you. Guilty conscience maybe? What did you do that I don't know about, huh? What are you hiding?! I'll find you out, you rat fink you.

18. You've offended me by what you have to say on your profile... I can't understand your sense of humor and take everything seriously because I am a tool. Can I send you a pathetic e-mail crying about what a little girlie wuss I am?

Sure! Odds are, you have already sent it, so no need to ask.

I love all of these people that write to me because they feel that I "offended" them. I am only saying what everyone else is thinking but doesn't say themselves. Stop taking everything so seriously or else stop caring about what some girl that you don't know says on her myspace profile. Honestly... You're giving yourself unnecessary grief. Save it for reality, kids. It's not like I am saying anything that is morally offensive... Everything that I say in my blogs and on my profile is common sense shit.

You're mad because I said that I don't "hook up" with strangers?

You're agitated because I don't want to chat and it is my personal preference not to like to?

You're irritated because I state that I get paid to work? Is that too upfront for your taste?

You're upset that I don't like people to impose on me by asking for comments in return?

You think it's mean that I won't send naked pictures to every Tom, Dick, and Harry who demands so?

You love chain letters and I killed your favorite thing in the world by not returning them and saying how much they actually suck?

You're offended because I said that "your hot" is lame?

Are you serious?! You have to be really fucking idiotic to feel offended by these things. These issues are my issues, and it is MY OWN PERSONAL RIGHT TO REFUSE YOU. I don't HAVE to do any of these things for anyone. I wouldn't show up on your doorstep and demand that you, a complete stranger, take time out of your day to do something that is absurd, just to make me happy. So stop knocking down my door demanding crap and then getting angry that I say no.

You people need to get out of the house more often... No one owes you anything. Stop expecting from others.

Anyway, yes you can send me your complaints. I will just block you and will probably not read your entire e-mail anyway. By the way, you should get a life.


I think I pretty much covered most of my frequently asked questions, plus or minus a couple. All other questions, e-mail me!

9:01 PM - 30 Comments - 59 Kudos - Add Comment

RE: The people that live in glass houses...
Current mood: sympathetic

... They should shut the fuck up. You know who you are.

Honestly.

Do people really think that I care what people think about me or my opinions? I live in the US. It's my constitutional right to say whatever I want. Lambasting me for saying how I feel or what I think is not going to make me change my mind.

As a matter of fact, it will only make me stand by my convictions even more. And on top of everything, you are wasting my time by cluttering up my inbox.

I don't go to peoples' pages, and harass them for having an opinion. Why? Because it is their God-given right to feel the way that they choose. I may not agree with their thoughts, and I may even be offended by what they may have to say. That still does not warrant me going around and harassing people.

I live by the Golden Rule... "Whatsoever ye would that men do unto you, do you even so unto them".

Get a life! Get off of myspace! It may be of some benefit to the intrinsicality of your sad little life. Make something good of yourself, instead of making an ass of yourself.

Ever wonder why it is that people that lead productive lives don't sit around and hate on other people? It's because they have better things to do. People should try to integrate a higher level of productivity into their lives.

Boss getting on your case at work? Take it up with him, not me!

Failing classes in school? Well, by the looks of your spelling and grammar, that's obvious, but try studying rather than sending me your illegible e-mails.

Not getting laid? Not my problem!

Did it ever occur to you that maybe YOU are the problem? Go seek professional help... please!

I mean, really... does it make you feel good when you run through your daily list of accomplishments and all you can list is "send hate mail to girl I don't know on the internet but hate for existing"? Seriously! There is something wrong with that (and you).

Trying to tear me down will not benefit your life much (or your conscience, if you have one). I do not fault you for doing so. I expect it. I am an easy target... Which makes it even more OBVIOUS that you would attack me.

I do, however, look at you with pity. All I can think is that it takes a sad, pathetic, lonely dolt to write a complete stranger a negative letter (e-mail). Only someone that is insecure and obtuse would go around pushing their negative opinions on people, and expect them to "change" based on what they think is right.

Fix yourself before you try to fix someone else. No one is perfect. I, for one, can attest to that.

I will give you my two cents now. I think that what you're doing is pathetic. Your existence consists of being so low that you need to bring others to your level in order to feel equal. Well good for you! Mommy and Daddy should be proud that they've spawned another loser to run free in this world.

Anyway, to conclude, I will answer my own question. I know that people think that I do, but I really don't care what you think about me. I can't please everyone. With that being said, I will just aim to please myself, and if I can, please people that deserve my attention.

Everyone else... well... you can just suck it. I block anyone that sends me negative comments or e-mail. Soon, I will just forward your e-mails to someone else, who will sit around and tell you what they think of your opinions. What would be really cool is if, as a public service, I sent out negative e-mails to a therapist who would write back and find out why people are so angry and insecure. That would be awesome! I would be helping others and making this world a nicer place to live in.

I think that maybe I'll be the bigger person this time. Next time, I'll just talk about your mom.

Cheers!

P.S. And also... don't argue with me in this post by saying that I actually do care because I posted this. For the record, one more time, I DON'T CARE.

I don't like having my time wasted. The 10 seconds that it takes to load your negative e-mail, see that it is negative, click on your profile, click to block you, and go back to my e-mail, is costing me. I value my time too much to waste it on someone that only means to bother me.

4:58 PM - 45 Comments - 61 Kudos - Add Comment

Completely restored my faith in mankind...
Current mood: amused

Well... for the most part anyway.

I received a bunch of AWESOME e-mails today. I am totally flattered and tickled pink that there are actually people out there that appreciate a little more than just visual stimuli. Thank you! You guys are incredible!

I guess you have to take the good with the bad in every case though, because I ended up having to stay true to my word and block anyone that was being negative. Sorry dicks! Hee hee... kidding. Not really. Ok, I am kidding. (No I'm not.)

Anyway... my hypothesis on that is this... People usually only get defensive about the things that they feel they do, or have something to do with, and therefore need to defend their honor. So when I posted the "your hot" blog, a bunch of guys got their panties all tied into a bunch, and HAD to say something to me about it.

Hey dudes, sorry that I insulted your brilliant "your hot" e-mails... I really didn't think that was the best play that anyone could come up with. If that's all that you've got though, run with it. And if it's worked on anyone, then more power to you. If you can hook a girl with a line like "your hot", then you must be pulling some real winners, or else you must be really "hot" yourself. And in that case, you're really awesome and who needs validation from a girl like me?

Anyway, no need to get mad at me. I was just stating that I would appreciate if I got e-mails that were a little more complex. That's all. Wasn't asking anyone in particular to send one to me. Wasn't even telling anyone NOT to send me the "your hot" e-mails. I actually think that they're awesome. Maybe I should go through all of my old e-mail and count how many I have received since being on here...?

Anyhoo, I totally expect to get e-mails like that anyway. I mean, I only have pictures of my ass on my profile. It's so very attention-whorey of me. I still appreciate your e-mails, although you can understand how it may become a little watered down to get the same e-mail constantly. And I'm not even saying that I am special in getting those e-mails. ALL girls on myspace get the same e-mails. I am not an exception. I only wanted to express my appreciation for people that took a little more time, and typed a little more than two words to try to get my attention.

So please... if you're a "your hot" e-mailer, don't get mad at me. I apologize for insulting you. I really didn't know it was that effective for you. Keep your-hotting, and life should be good. And I'll stop complaining, and just realize that maybe I set my standards a little too high at times.

Anyway, the main point of this post was to say thank you to everyone who read my entire profile, and had good things to say. I commend you! Thank you!

2:56 AM - 28 Comments - 35 Kudos - Add Comment

Gosh... after re-reading my profile...

I think that people really don't appreciate all of the attention to detail that I've put into my profile. Seriously, I like to think that I am creative. But I always get e-mails that say things like, "your hot" or, "wow, nice titzzzzz" or, "everything that I have to say to you lacks all real substance so wow your hot". I'd really appreciate it if someone took the time to read my entire profile, and then sent me an e-mail saying something nice like, "your real creative with yer words and you have nice titzzzzz. wow your hot". That would be really awesome and it would delude me into thinking that there really is more to life than sex. Please don't actually write that to me. I will block you because I know that it will be THAT annoying to receive that e-mail seven times a day. Oh God, now I am putting my foot in my mouth. Shut up Cherie.