RIP Chris Benoit
Current mood: depressed
Category: Sports

I watch wrestling.  I know alot of people think its stupid and all that jazz, but frankly I don't give a shit.  Its entertainment just like any other entertainment.  But its a little more than that too because these people are on TV once a week, at least once a week for some more, and for alot of them they are on for years week after week.  Everyone makes a big deal about shows like Cheers that was on forever, or friends being on 10 years, yeah well Friends was on for half a year for 10 years.  I have watched Chris Benoit now on a weekly basis for some 12 years, and partially before that.  I have watched him give 150 million percent to the business he loves and for that he was my favorite wrestler.  He is dead now.  The specifics are not yet known, but both his wife and son are dead as well and something happened involving a gun.  I don't know what the story is behind what happened, for all I know he could have gone nuts and killed them and himself and he wouldn;t be someone to highly regard, but I doubt that very much and right now I don;t care.  I don't know why I am writing this here as I know probably all but one of my friends couldn't give two shits about this man.  But I can't sleep, and I felt like writing it out.  My dog has epilepsy, my wife is sick, my softball team can't catch a  break, and then my favorite wrestler dies.  Not a good day.  So I just wanted to say goodbye to Chris Benoit.  I appreciate the years of entertainment you have given me and even though I've never met you I will miss you.

7:51 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

SO OLD!
Current mood: anxious

So tomorrow, or rather today I suppose since its after midnight, I will be buying a house.  Let me repeat that, I will be buying a house.  If you couldn;t figure it out I'm too nervous/excited/anxious to actually sleep so here I am posting my first blog in like 5 months. 

Getting married was one thing but it still felt no different than it did before we were married, just had to say things like "my wife" and "Andrea West" which took a little time to get used to.  Buying a house however, now I'm definently a grownup.  Lots of money going out every week with probably a second job on the horizon so I can have spending money.  I'm no longer picking out DVDs, pornography and which girl might be drunk enough to actually hook up with me, I'm picking out Washers and dryers, stoves, and paint for an accent wall.  How do I know what an accent wall is?????  I'm old.  Next step is to have a dog within a year, then a baby probably in 2.  Thats right a frickin baby.  I'm a frickin baby!

For example, based off a book a read and a need to find free immature things to occupy my time now that I will have no money, I have signed up for Virtual Magic Kingdom, or VMK as the cool kids call it.  Basically its an online version of Disneyland where you walk around, talk to other people, play games, earn credits, buy shit and host parties in your room of which you fill with shit you buy.  (My first purchase was a penny machine.  How frickin sweet is that.  And by sweet I mean sad.)  Anyway this is a game meant for young people, more so it is strongly geared towards people in the Orlando or Anahiem areas since if you go to the actual theme parks you can get free cool stuff you can;t get anywhere else.  Bottom line I'm 10 years old and an idiot.  However if you happen to be on VMK look me up.  My name is bfats on there and my Maleficent's keep room is starting to come together but I need some chairs

Another example.  Since when was 1997 10 fuckin years ago?  I could have sworn it was like 10 days ago max.  And whats with all the damn impressive young people on TV making me look bad?  That 18 year old dance champion chick on Dancing with stars can lick my balls (Yes I was made to watch it and I found myself further being gayified by actually commenting on 1 leg lady's ugly gown).  Further more no girls too young for me are allowed to be hot.

Luckily I am somewhat saved from my oldness by our special useless fourth bedroom, which will be the babies room once we have one, but for now it has been dubbed "The toy room".  Andrea wants our bedroom and office to be all grown up and toy free, as such all her stuffed animals and all my action figures and the like are to go into said toyroom.  This room shall be awesome and I shall make is so. 

So the moral of this insipid story is, no matter how old you get, always leave a room for your toys.

and VMK rules.  Good day.

10:11 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Flowers are dumb

So we are in the process of picking out flowers for the wedding, and I have to say flowers are pretty stupid. 

I mean first of all they die in about 5 seconds which I suppose would be fine if they didn't cost a zillion dollars. 

Secondly I don;t understand what they are for?  If they are supposed to be for beauty and long life and stuff then why are we killing the poor things so we can throw them around for man hungry ladies at weddings.  Seems kinda sick to me.  Kinda like taxodermy.  If you want to kill an animal or plant for food or clothing, ok I get that, but kill it for your own sick enjoyment, for shame. 

As such, I think florist are pretty much murderers, kinda on the same vain as hunters except too afraid or lazy to deal with moving prey. 

That all being said there will still be flowers at my wedding because I am the groom and this my opinion is completely inconsequential.

4:57 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Alfredo

I was indexing the other day and came across a document for a man named Alfredo.  Now I am just really glad that my name is not Alfredo, nor any other tasty food product.  Why?  Because one day I'll be on a plane, and that plane will crash in the Alps, and me and the other survivors will be forced to eat each other like in that movie Alive, and if my name was Alfredo I guaruntee I would be eaten first.  I mean come on if you had to choose between eating a guy named Bob and a guy named Alfredo, you would totally eat Alfredo.

So before anyone goes off and names their kid after a food, think twice because you don't want your kid eaten.  Name them something completely unapetizing like Bertha or Jebidiah.  Thats my advice.

10:00 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Practicing

2 blogs, Man I'm on a roll tonight.

So I was writing a comment in Val's page and I found myself typing "practicing lent" and it got me thinking.  What a stupid ass word we use for doing stuff. 

The word practicing should be reserved for things like sports and contests.  Things where you are expected to be learning things all the time to be made better.  Ok, I gotcha.

But when I'm talking to a guy and he says "Oh well, I practice medicine."  I get a little freaked out.  I mean maybe if your in med school I got it, but serious can you imagine being a pacient.

Doctor:  Alright Mr. West now that you are strapped to a table and I'm about to slice you open and play with your inner organs, I just thought you'd like to know that I PRACTICE medicine.

Yea, not a good phrase.  Practice your golf swing buddy, do not practice cutting open my chest.

And speaking of Lent, I hate the word in religion.  You are either a practicing or a non practicing whatever, in this case Catholic.  I don't get it.  Either you are Catholic or your not.  If your practicing being Catholic YOU ARE NOT CATHOLIC, because theres really no give there now is there.  Wow that was alot of theres.  Anyway you see my point.  No one wants to walk up to God and say "I'm a practicing Catholic."  and have him say "Practicing?  You should be an expert by now you slacker.  Begone to hell!"  That would suck now wouldn't it.

So thats how I feel about the word practicing.  Discuss among yourselves.

6:22 PM - 6 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

"Friends"

Am I the only person on myself that has more than 20 friends that actually knows them all in real life?  I'm probably not, but it sure seems like it.  Everyone's friend list I look at has all kinds of people from all over the place, and most of them look like strippers but thats besides the point. 

Granted I may or may not be actual friends with some people I have as friends but I know and like them all....I think.  Some I havn't talked to in years, but when I did I talked to them in person.  Just seems odd to me is all.

I know this blog was in no way entertaining, but I'm bored so I don't care.

5:48 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

You know what I hate?

I really hate gay guys who just won't frickin admit they are gay.  I mean seriously grow the fuck up and be who you are.  I think I know more of these clowns than I do admitted gay people. 

I'm sorry you are not a metrosexual, or "just feminine" YOU ARE GAY!  If you dress like a princess everyday and flop your hands around while speaking in a high pitched voice saying, "Oh my God, your shoes are FABULOUS!"  You are a flaming homosexual.  Just take a cock in your ass and move on.

AND, if you are going to insist on lieing to yourself and everyone else then at least try and not look as gay as you possibly can.  Do not where a lime green shirt out to a dive bar.  Do not say "girlfriend, or fabulour, or any other word the gays have taken for themselves.  Do nto talk about cars girls and your beautiful kids ALL DAY LONG to try and make people believe you are what you are not.  And no  don't care how many pictures of your wife you have on your desk, you like to suck big throbbing cock. 

So if you are reading this and you are gay and not admitting it, its ok, its the 2000s and shit.  Hell you have your own network on TV.  Theres nothing wrong with licking the tip, my fiancee does it, why shouldn't you?  Not mine mind you, cause Tony is an idiot and can't read things properly, but other gay guys who like to have their tips licked by gay guys. 

And one of these guys, Sean, I REALLY  hope you are on myspace and find me, and read this, because you need to break off that engagement of yours and start lubing up your ass, because my friend you are gay.

Thank you and good night.

2:34 PM - 4 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

Commerce bank
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

I work for Commerce Bank.  For some reason they call themselves "America's Most Convenient Bank."

I happen to know for a fact they are lieing.  Your mom is America's most conveniant bank.  Sperm bank that is.  I know shes convenient because I make a deposit every night.

Booyah, grandma, booyah

1:48 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Why I have this account
Current mood: Your mom

I have created this account purely to shut up all these whiney little bastards I work with that keep telling me to get on because they all are, even though I am never on a computer at home and will most likely never, and I mean NEVER update.  I shouldn't be on here now as it is since I am at work, but I was falling asleep and Stephanie needed more friends for her blog because quite frankly no one likes her.  So more than likely this is the last blog entry you will see from me, unless I happen to think of something entertaining before I leave to watch a very pointless football game where neither team has a remote chance at the playoffs.

PS.  Your Mom

PPS.  GO BEARS!!!!

8:49 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment