No Looking Back

You can't go forward if you're looking backward. You run into walls that way.

2:12 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Panic

You ever run a guy over with your car? And, you kind of panic? So, you back up? And, run over him a second time? And then, you realize you have to get the fuck outta there before the police show up? So, you put it in drive again and run over him a third time? What the fuck -- might as well. What else you gonna do at that point, drive around him? Anyway, as you drive away, did you ever reflect on the fact that each time you ran over him the crunching sound got fainter and fainter? That's because he already had two good, deep grooves pressed into him that you kept driving through.

12:02 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Hello-Goodbye

We have many ways to say good-bye. Bye-bye, so long, see you later, ta-ta, be cool, take it easy, stay loose, hang in there, take care, and keep on truckin'. You know my favorite? "Don't get run over." I find some people need practical advice.

5:00 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Baseball Bats

Baseball bats are now the preferred weapon for many drug gangs and others who have a business need to administer behavorial reminders. They're cheap, lethal, legal, untraceable, and hey, it's the national pastime.

2:30 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Tomorrow is Another Day

Tomorrow is another day. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out to be another day, but we can't be sure. If it happens, I'll be the first to say so.  But, by that time, it'll be today again.

4:53 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Why Ask Why?

Some people see things that are and ask, "Why?" Some people dream of things that never were and ask, "Why not?" Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that shit.

7:40 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Network Television

Why don't network TV shows have a warning that says, "Caution: You are about to watch a real piece of shit"? Actually, they could just leave that on the screen all the time.

10:41 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Midgets

You rarely see an elderly midget. Apparently, their life spans are shorter too.

1:04 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Shit Creek

I'm very lucky. The only time I was ever up shit creek, I just happened to have a paddle with me.

2:30 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Wrong Side Surgeries

Statistics show that wrong side surgeries -- when a doctor, after having spent years in medical school, operates on the WRONG SIDE of your body -- occur 1,300 - 2,700 times a year. How advanced a society do you have to be to know right from left?

2:26 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment