9:58 PM - Crypto-quips, Crosswords and Coffee
Current mood: determined

An interesting evening, to say the least.  Got out of work a bit later than I intended, but still managed to get out and relax.

Had some Clint-thoughts tonight... just really let a lot of things go and focused on my usual habits: meeting people, a single malt scotch and the Crypto-quip.

I don't know if any of you have ever done the crypto-quip, but it's fun; it's like Wheel of Fortune on ecstasy.  Essentially, they take a corny phrase and do a simple, single-letter substitution cypher.  The funny (or perhaps not so funny) part is the result is usually a terrible pun.  For example, tonight's answer was: "I wonder if the best nutritional supplement for a middle-schooler would be pre-teen protein."

... yeah... they're that great...

Then I did the crossword, and managed to finish it in 20 minutes.  What was funny was this cute gal named Emily down the bar doing the exact same one, though cursing up a storm about the fact that there was no part of a clue "that indicated an acronym." So, obviously, I had to help out.  She bought me a beer, then argued the validity of the answer "rancors" to the clue "enmities."  We had a quiet debate regarding the validity of pluralizing the words.  A quick look at dictionary.com via my phone, and I had won yet another beer.    After that, a delicious mocha before a quick trip to the Lava Room for a game of pool, just in time to see the end of the Dallas/Buffalo game, (incredible ending).

Now, though I'm tempted to post more about my thoughts, particularly about an odd, lone air-conditioner I'm always seeing, I've decided I have better things to do with the remainder of my evening.  The important thing is I kept my promise to blog more, (even though it's not as interesting as I'd hoped).  Keep your eyes peeled for tomorrow, however... I'm going to post this other thought I had after work and dinner with Peter and Simone.

As a post-script... I heard a song earlier today that really struck me.  Crazy enough, it was on my laptop, though I'd never heard it before.  It actually made me stop typing and listen... twice.  I looked up the lyrics. It's such a simple idea, and he plays it almost to a Jazz melody.  Even better... I have the live version.  LOL

Currently listening : Continuum By John Mayer Release date: 12 September, 2006

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9:33 PM - Miss me?
Current mood: thoughtful

Yes... yes, I know.  It's been a while since I've done this.  Anyone miss me?

The last straw was Ryan Morehead informing me that he was a bit... distraught... that I had not blogged recently.  His was not the first complaint, but it's important to note his was the last. 

I the blogging really stopped a year ago this month.  I realize I posted a few things afterwards, but, looking at them in context of what I'm about to tell you, those post-October entries may be a bit more enlightening.

As many of you now know, I was interviewing with for a new job.  Out of respect, I shouldn't really disclose publicly who I was talking to.  Let's just say you all use their services every day... and the name is somewhat similar to the words "frugal" and "goo cube."

It was stressful in the beginning; the geeks amoung us have heard both horror and quirky stories about interviewing for this company.  To put it in a nutshell, it was the first time I have ever studied for one.

Long story short, after many phone and on-site examinations, I was offered a job.  I won't go into specifics here, because it's not appropriate.  Suffice to say, it was tempting, and I decided to stay in Kansas City, (at least for now), for a number of personal reasons.  They are an awesome group of folks, and I was honored to be considered.

I realize this isn't a great excuse for being out of touch, but I hope it is at least sufficient.  When you have a blog about your thoughts, and the foremost thought on your mind is something you don't want to advertise, you're kinda stuck between that proverbial rock and a hard place.

As far as what's been going on lately, I'm just a big ball of stress.  In the last several months I've had my heart examined in an ER, been promoted to a much more influential role at work, and pulled an all-nighter at the office.  Some important relationships have been strained, my health has suffered and I'm somewhat unhappy, (at times).  But it's not all bad news.  I've also painted my office, been invited to speak at a national conference, met some really neat people and had an awesome 28th birthday.

In short, I'm living.

So, for now, I leave those of you have subscribed a happy icon in your blog list.  Expect another soon, as I intend to blog as often, or perhaps moreso, than before.

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11:33 AM - New Photo Album: Liberty Memorial at Night
Current mood: accomplished

On first fridays the Liberty Memorial opens the top of the tower at night. I spent 3 hours up there last night and took about 300 pictures. I picked the best ones and put them out on my Picasa share. Check them out, let me know what you think!

Liberty Memorial at Night

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8:11 AM - Pictures from San Francisco
Current mood: blank

For those of you interested, here are the pictures from my trip to San Francisco:

San Francisco

There are some really good ones in this set. I'm going to try to get some of them printed, I think!

Oh, and for those of you interested for an update on how that thing in the place with the people went... well, it'll all be decided on Friday. Their people will send my people that thing I've been waiting for, and then you all will know what those people in that place said, and what I'll tell them.... clear?   

Suffice it to say: it went well... really well.

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3:46 PM - So this is what a wrecked memory feels like...
Current mood: crushed

It was a wreck.

I'm standing in what remains of my grandparents' home in Gravois Mills, a few short minutes the Lake of the Ozarks.  My parents locked the door to the tiny trailer on a modest lot and left for the "last" time in late 1999.  A tornado later, and we'd be heading down there again, to survey the damage and decide what to do.

My grandmother Jo Ann passed first in 1998, followed shortly thereafter by her husband Jack.  The last time I had seen them, they were both at my high school graduation in 1997.  But I had not been to their home since 1992, as far as I could remember; it was the year we moved to Texas.

Now I was surrounded by broken boards and cheap sheet metal, the smell of old mold and dust.  "I remember this place to be a lot bigger... " I started to say, realizing that, at the time, it probably was; I was only 12 at the time

Things in Gravois don't change, that's one of the beauties of the place.  They only recently had sewer lines put in for those that could afford to subsidize the construction.  Everyone knows everyone, and where you live, and who sold you the property.  But there was no denying this trailer wasn't, couldn't, be salvaged.  There were a few semblances of the place I remembered, though, but they came in the strangest places.  The floor creaked in the same places, in the same way.  The faux fireplace still had the controls to adjust the TV antenna on the roof, which was now a tangled mass in their backyard.  And my grandmother's patio table, a short barrel with a plywood top, seemed glued to the floor.  The trashcan by my grandfather's chair still had an item in it: an NFL schedule from 1998.  And the smell was still there, however faint through the dust.  It would just pop into my throat and make me pause every time... I struggled all day to find it, thinking it had to be the flowers or the deck wood, but I just couldn't find its source.

The place just broke my heart.

Then a few asinine people started coming over, offering, of all things, to buy the property.  None of these people called us when the damage first happened, but here they were, circling the rock drive like vultures.  The guy who actually did call my mom, Tony, stopped by to make sure it was us and to once again offer to buy the land.  At least he was a nice guy, and seemed much more interested in how my mom was doing than making a deal.  We told him we'd call him later.

It was hard figuring out what to do at first, but after 10 hours or so of sifting, boxing, and moving, we loaded a precious few items into my dad's truck and left.  We're going to have a bulldozer raze what remains of the tiny trailer and shed, clear the land, and remove the deck.  But for me, having returned for the first time in 15 years, it was surprising more painful than I had originally thought.  I almost wish I hadn't gone with them.

I say almost, because there were a few things I took with me... my granddad's ballcap with "Gravois Mills Volunteer Fire Department" emblazoned on the front, a pocketknife of his, and several bits of glassware.  I even found, in the back of a cabinet, a pair of Cristal champagne flutes; I plan to use them at my wedding.

My grandparents lived simply, and I have a lot of fond memories of that place,  some of the most random popping into my head even 24 hours later.  There was a time when the now-paved road crunched with gravel as my brother and I would walk two lots down to the local grocery storeto buy comic books.  There were the fun-sized cereals my grandmother would have in a jar above the fridge, the deviled eggs my dad liked to much, and the afternoons on the porch watching pickups drive by.  Digging through snow for Easter eggs one year, my dad snoring on the hide-a-bed that seemed to shake the walls, my grandmother's beauty shop down the road...

There was one spot of humor, though.  My dad, seeming to realize the tension in the air, asked me to walk down the the grocery store to get boxes, beer, and ice.  To no suprise, that store had not changed one single bit... even the ice machine rumbled the same way.  When the gal at the counter heard me chuckle, (I was noticing how much taller I was than the register), she asked, "Whatcha thinkin' about hun?"  I said, "Well, the last time I was here, I bought a comic book; now I'm buying beer."  She said, "Oh, were you here earlier today?"  When I said, with a bit of a laugh, "no... more like 15 years ago!" she looked for a second and asked

"Are you JoAnn's grandkid or Marie's?"

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7:33 PM - A MySpace Rant

You can check out my latest blog, but it's on my personal website.

A Bigger MySpace Problem: Perpetuating Technical Ignorance

Forgive the rant, but I'd just had it. :-)

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1:58 PM - Pictures from this weekend...
Current mood: okay

There are some neat ones in here... including the new haircut Simone's sporting.:

Out on the Town

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11:39 PM - Distant discussions and late-night destructions...
Current mood: thoughtful

Somewhere, a few thousand miles away, people are having a discussion about me.  This was something I volunteered for, something I always wanted but never was ready to leap toward... until fate put it in my way and forced me to face it.  It started quite some time ago... and it's tested me in more ways than one.

Now, after a series of qualifications, prostrations and demonstrations, I find it might not be that much longer before I'm faced with a decision that could change my life entirely...

... and yet I'm wide awake having philosophical thoughts about how text messaging has ruined the "singles scene."

Really, it has.  I was out at The Drop this past Friday night, and something I hadn't really noticed before completely jumped out at me: text messaging is the crutch of the lonely.  Whenever I see a group of people, especially of the same sex (most especially of the same sex) there are always single people texting other people.  Granted, sometimes it's in reply to "where you at?" or some other talk, but a lot of times it's a literal conversation between distant, lonely people, upset over their observation of happy couples or groups, reaching out to whomever they think can respond most quickly to their "plight."

In other words, late night phone calls outlining the path of the tryst are a thing of the past.  Texting can hedge your bets, and allows people to secure a pair of arms for the night long before that night is over.

This is not to say I haven't been guilty of receiving (or yes, even sending) a few of these "emergency flares" into the night... that's not the point.  And let me also say that I'm not just referring to sex or booty calls.  I'm merely saying that easy access to those you have no business in the world talking to, especially after several drinks and exposure to happy couples at late hours, is dangerous.  Besides... texting just facilitates a weird impersonal-personal communication too easily, and thereby reomves our accountability.

It used to be you had to call... and you had to call when you got home.  It was embarrassing-- a heavy, breathy, "hey, what are you doing?"  It was comical, and revealed in moments exactly how desperate you were to have someone... anyone... to hold or hold you.  It's always a long shot, isn't it? Or perhaps it requires an apology, promises to change, or promises of an entire basement storeroom of alcohol and a ride in the morning.

But now, it's too easy to set up a "I'll text you when I get home"... and therefore making it too easy to stay alone.

How on earth can a man, albeit a stranger, but let's assume him to be a "nice guy," possibly compete with the melodic tones coming from your purse?  The quick light-up of your face, both from the screen and your expression, as you read the latest less-than-160-character instant gratification of attention from someone across town?  How can you really pay attention to the woman right in front of you if you're thinking about the "sure thing, if I need it" vibrating in your front pocket?  It's not possible... it's like betting on the long shot when you know you've...

...got the horse right here, his name is Paul Revere, and there's a guy that says if the weather's clear 'can do... can do...' this guy says the horse 'can do.' If he says the horse can do, can do, can do...

My point is, leave the phones shut... or... off.  Shit, just leave them in the car.  Look, I've been the guy on the other end; I'm ashamed to admit it, but I think we all have at least once in our lives.  There are times I've responded, and times when I've ignored the messages entirely.  Thankfully, it's been quite some time since I've really felt insecure or lonely.

I think we've all had those nights where, dammit, we don't want to be alone... and chances are, somebody in the little black book of our cell phone doesn't want to be either.  So we reach out, as best we can, as quickly as we can, and we miss that one moment where we're introduced to someone new, someone who can remind you that you're not lonely... you're just moody.

So... why am I thinking about this?  Because I have an image stuck in my head.  An image of 7 women, around a table that seats 5, and 4 of them were texting and one was actually conversing with someone (or attempting to, over the noise).  The other two were talking to each other.  I remember thinking, "how can this be called a 'girl's night out'?"  Sure, they're with each other... but are they really?  It just borders on the ridiculous.

I've never had a problem meeting new people, or going out by myself.  Sometimes I prefer it.  But I've made it a habit lately of turning the ringer off as I leave and turning it back on when I wake in the morning.  Frankly... I think it'll keep me out of trouble!  :-) 

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6:23 PM - Creating a bit of artwork on a Sunday evening...
Current mood: artistic

I've been working a lot lately.

Tonight, after a weekend cooped up in the deluge of ice, I took some time for myself.  I broke out the photoshop and created these:





They're based on pictures I took while in NYC over New Years Eve weekend.  They're also indicative of my mood lately... I most definately suffer from Affective Seasonal Disorder from time to time!   Of course, the ice doesn't help.

Anyhoo... there's been a lot going on lately, a lot of it has to do with work, and most of it isn't the least bit blog-able, (for a number of reasons).  I'll try to get back into a more, "I saw the funniest thing" after my life settles back into its normal rhythm.

Nothing more to see here, move along folks!  LOL 

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12:42 AM - Guess where I've been? Film at 11...

If you read past blogs... you'd know.  But in case you didn't, or don't, and rather than just ask questions, I'll just as soon post a few photos, m'kay?  Besides, I'm tired... more later... *grunt*

BUT WAIT... my greatest pic so far:

That's right... The Family Guy... Peter vs. Chicken... on the biggest screen EVAR!

I am so awesome.  Oh, and when I say "film at 11..."

... I mean film at 11.  That's right, folks.  Video has been taken.

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1:50 PM - Quotes for Christmas...

I thought I'd take this opportunity to wish a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you!  I hope everyone has a safe break from our daily troubles, in favor of good food and even better company.

I'd just like to toss this quote everyone's way.  It was brought to my attention last week, and has joined my short list of favorites.  In the spirit of the holiday season, and whichever holiday you choose to celebrate, try to keep the following in mind:

Most men worry about their own bellies and other people's souls, when we all ought to be worried about our own souls and other people's bellies.

Rabbi Israel Salanter 1810-1883

Let's try to care more for each other this year, and less about our differences.  Life is too short to get caught up in the smaller stuff...

Miss all of you... and as a reminder, for those of you who are unaware: The annual Clint's New Year's Eve party will NOT be taking place this year.  I've had a change of venue... New York City!  Be jealous... be very jealous. 

(Hey, Bill O'Reilly... SHUT UP!  I'm fine with a "Happy Holidays," and the "War on Christmas" rhetoric can take a backseat until next year, m'kay?)

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9:17 PM - Words to live by...
Current mood: anxious

I've been really nervous lately.  Want to know what made me feel better tonight?  First, half a bottle of Francis Coppola Claret.  Second, a book on Data Structures.  Then, as I adjusted the volume on my PC (which has been more a jukebox lately), three greeting cards I picked up in a tiny store in Santa Monica.  Before the week is out they will be framed in my home office.  Here's what they say:

Leap and the net will appear. (zen saying)

Whatever you are... be a good one. (A. Lincoln)

Life isn't about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself. (Anon)

So... what did I draw from this?  Create yourself, leap, and do your best to be good at it.  Sounds like as good a life plan as any.

And be sure not to forget that second step.

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1:16 PM - I think my brain is beginning to hate me...
Current mood: stressed

Books to the ceiling,/ Books to the sky,/ My pile of books is a mile high./ How I love them! How I need them!/ I'll have a long beard by the time I read them. - Arnold Lobel

I've been recently inspired to catch up on a lot of my programming fundamentals, digging up old notes and textbooks from my parent's house, (ask me some other time why).  It's amazing how much slips your mind in those years… and I think my brain is rebelling from a lack of sleep.  Work has been killing me these last few weeks.

The stack of books on my nightstand has been tempting me every evening, books I've recently bought or borrowed, a few I've pulled from my shelves: Sun Tzu's The Art of War, Ian Fleming's Casino Royale, Bob Woodward's State of Denial… I even cracked open Homer's Odyssey.  But every time I take a moment, no matter the time of day, I always end up falling asleep within ten pages or so.

It's because I've had a lot of late nights… a lot of code to write and review.  You'd think I'd be in a better mood: I finally was given the time to implement what I call "preview panes," or hovering blocks of detail that appear when hovering over an object.  I also got the time to design semi-opaque module-level dialogs.  They're awesome looking, and the users are going to love them.  But apparently I'm officially "booked" for the rest of the year, (and then some), on a whole set of projects.

I'm a busy, busy bee.  And there's so much I want to learn… things I want my brain to recall, apply, relate.  It's just been frustrating.  And you know me… my mind is so incredibly multi-threaded.  Between family, friends, work, study and my random ponderings… I guess it's doing the best it can.  It'd best get used to it, 'cause I don't think I'm gonna change that anytime soon.

But some good news (I can announce):  I think I'm going to launch a couple of new sites soon… A Google Maps mash-up and that Everybody Calm Down commentary I mentioned once in a blue moon ago.

I've just gotta find the time.  Anybody got some lying around?  *sigh*

(mirrored at: http://www.clintandrewhall.com/blog/2006/12/i-think-my-brain-is-beginning-to-hate-me/)

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8:15 AM - California Panoramas
Current mood: excited

Want to see what a California beach looks like?  Or perhaps Santa Monica at night?  I've been working with my digital on Panoramic Stitching... what do you think?

California Panoramas

Sorry this is so brief... we're headed to the San Diego Zoo!!! 

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7:58 AM - I was served drinks by The Banker from Deal-or-no-Deal...
Current mood: bouncy

Vacation Day 1: Dinner, Drinks and the Paparazzi

Last night I went out with Brian, Mike and Brian's friend Rob.  We went to a really nice restaurant in LA called Koi.  I giant bottles of imported  Sapporo... and tried Sushi for the first time!  It was quite good, and I was surprised to discover it was... ahem... baked eel.  Then we had a debate about whether the woman sitting at the table next to us was, in fact, Lindsay Lohan.

It wasn't.

Then, as we were headed out of the restaurant, we noticed two Paparazzi waiting outside the restaurant... I took their picture.    Then we headed to a bar called The Belmont.  It was really cool...

... then Brian told me the lead bartender was "The Banker" from Deal or no Deal...

Of course, I called bullshit... he was obviously taking advantage of the rube tourist at the first bar.  But no, it was true.  His name is Pete, and his credibility was greatly increased by not only his knowledge of the inner workings of the show, but also his familiarity with several of the lovely ladies from the show.  A really nice guy.

I also did a great deal of flirting... as only a group of guys can do.  I can think of three of the funniest moments:

1.)  I accidently stepped on a woman's toes...

Her: "Ouch!"
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you.  It was the best I could come up with."
Her: "What?"
Me: "Well, I'd rather it be a bad pickup attempt than be a clutz."

2.)  The woman gesturing with a cigarette by the front door...

She was telling some story, with a vodka martini in one hand, an unlit cigarette in the other.  After about four minutes, I walked over:

"Did you forget you had a cigarette in your hand, or are you really, really trying to get a light?"

That got a good laugh... one of her friends guessed I was from the Midwest; she thought Topeka.

3.)  The hottie by the bathroom...

Mike really liked her...  But by the time he had the nerve to go over and talk to her, (I proposed the "hey, waiting for bathroom? Great, you're a captive... what's your name?"), she stepped in.

Mike walked away, but soon after she stepped to the bar directly in front of me... so I had to say something:

Me: "Excuse me, miss? Please don't buy a drink."
Her: "What?  Why?"
Me: "My friend Mike is buying your next drink."
Her: "What?  How do you know that?  Where is he?"
Me: "Oh... um, he doesn't know he's buying it yet."
Her: ... confused stare...
Me: "He was saying he thought you were attractive, but you went into the bathroom.  I know that if he were standing here, instead of all the way over there, (see him, in the brown sweater?), he wouldn't want you paying for your drink."

She bought me a shot of Jim Beam... and Mike thought I was a walking god. 

Well, we're on our way down to the baeach... y'all enjoy the 40 degree weather.

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