Life on the Edge - The Unspoken Trust - Part IV
Current mood: content
Category: Travel and Places

Disclaimer: This story may induce, cause or increase affects leading  up to permanent brain damage, nausea, throat wrenching saliva, cottonmouth, shortness of breath, irregular breathing, tear-jerking, irregular beating of the heart, emotional sadness, depression, suspense, joy, uplifting feelings that can otherwise end coming out faster than a blonde joke coming from a professional comedian.
It is my duty to express strong warnings, that if you don't want to feel or take part in any of these or any other emotions or feelings that may come about and were not scientifically studied upon to find a cure for, DO NOT KEEP READING.


Being a professional it is normal to be professional the entire time you are meant to do it. If thanks are involved, you aren't always accustomed to accepting it, because it was just a job well done. Do things change when lives are at stake? Should they? Being a professional and getting a job done is none other than a hard days work.


Please..I said silently. As I continued to wave my arms vigorously I felt my heart skip beating and the urgency of the future was flashing unquestionably before my eyes. The black pickup truck was now only a few hundred feet away and very much straight on a one way course, directly where we were standing.

Things seem so different when there is no time involved. Every action, reaction and thought is based upon instinct. Things that are in motion and things that cannot be undone are the times you almost feel the hot scalding breath bearing down the back of your neck. It's almost like, everything is already laid upon your feet, waiting for your toes to make contact. Slow motion is hardly the way of description when everything is moving at speeds that doesn't allow your mind to take the time to just sit down and think about the best decision possible.

"Move, Move, Move! Get out of the way, Go!" I shouted zealously. The black pickup truck was barreling down faster than ever and one last arm of the wave didn't seem like it helped as we all started running across the ice as quickly as we could.

I slipped and had stumbled as I fearfully looked up at the truck. I hadn't lost my footing completely, as the next four feet came all within the next split second. I grabbed the cement wall and looked quickly up at the truck. Finally, the truck had realized what had been going on as we were all staring frightfully up at it. The brakes were instantly applied, as we all watched the back end of the vehicle start to fishtail. Our heads, jaws and minds were all locked into synchronization as the truck had started to take effort towards not ending up in a head on collision.

A few hands had helped me catch my footing and stand up a little straighter. I could swallow, and that's about all that I could muster to do. There wasn't a thought anywhere near my mind as I watched the horrific event transpire into a demented show of reality. I could feel the presence of all three of the elderly trio standing behind me as we waited for....the inevitable.

The trucks tires gained a bit of traction, but it was still sliding tremendously fast. In some parts of the road it wasn't as slick as others, but it was still traveling much to fast to gain much traction at all. Sliding sideways, the black pickup truck nearly clipped into another vehicle to it's right as it started sliding to the right but still facing the direction of the momentum. Down. It grabbed traction once more and nearly lost control, but the driver caught it one last time before the slick of the road sent it straight into the wall, ten feet passed us on the opposite side of the road...

I can envision what we all must have looked like at that moment. Eyes never blinking, throats stiff stalks and lungs not sure if it was yet safe enough to breathe. I took a moment to watch the driver in the pickup to get out of the car or at least roll down his heavily tinted window, but he did neither. I can only assume he was running late for work as he put his truck in gear and off he went. "Thanks for the heart attack, asshole!", I solemnly thought to myself.

It was now more of a habit as I looked up the hill. Coast was clear...for awhile. I looked up at the elderly couple and then to other guy. I spoke quickly as I told them that we had to get this car off the road. They all agreed and I told the woman to wait safely until we got the car across the road. The traffic was less than mild and we did manage to put the car in neutral and push it into the same spot the black pickup truck had once occupied not minutes before.

After escorting the elderly woman across the highway, I told them that I was still on the job and had to continue getting the load to the docks. They all assured me that they were ok and then I was off, back into my truck and off staring out the windshield as the sun was starting to peak through the clouds.

As I pulled into the consignee and looked at the clock. 7:45 AM. For what it was worth, I still have my pride in knowing I retired as a truck driver and was never late, even in the heat of the moments. I took the papers up to the dock and rapped on the door for at least 5 minutes. No answer. I jumped in the truck and grabbed the computer. I sent a message to the shipper letting them know that no one was answering. They sent back a message saying the roads were too bad to drive on and no one was going to show up for the next two hours.

Gotta love it.

To this day, I never really felt I needed a thanks. I know that they were safe when I left and that was, altogether, enough for me. I sometimes almost am afraid to acknowledge that if I wasn't there, they could have possibly died. It almost feels selfish to think of it. I always wanted to thank them or at least let them know that I was always ever grateful for them to put their trust in my hands at the time we all needed it most. I will probably never get to meet them again, but one can always hope.



The End

Currently reading : The Devil's Footprints By Amanda Stevens

2:54 AM - 7 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Life on the Edge - The Unspoken Trust - Part III
Current mood: amused
Category: Travel and Places

Disclaimer: This story may induce, cause or increase affects leading up to permanent brain damage, nausea, throat wrenching saliva, cottonmouth, shortness of breath, irregular breathing, tear-jerking, irregular beating of the heart, emotional sadness, depression, suspense, joy, uplifting feelings that can otherwise end coming out faster than a blond joke coming from a professional comedian.

It is my duty to express strong warnings, that if you don't want to feel or take part in any of these or any other emotions or feelings that may come about and were not scientifically studied upon to find a cure for, DO NOT KEEP READING.

Every moment in life is worth living, if you can remember them. Some moments just aren't worth remembering at all and some will always leave the fondest most memorable marks upon ones life. A memory full of fear, courage, and instinctively reacting to situations not only places a mark upon ones life, it burns deep into the pool of memories.

It was around seven in the morning and most of everyone was awake and on their way to work. The traffic behind, in front and around me had increased tenfolds as is showed me once again how big Philadelphia really is. The car at the bottom of the hill, was indeed a car, but it wasn't easy to see at first, second or even the third time of trying to glance down at it. Cars were everywhere and it not only made it difficult navigate, but the cars racing down the hill didn't give me much motivation on wanting to be the first one to greet them after another accident in a lane I had definitely needed to use at a speed that wasn't stopping.

I continued to survey the road as I started to inch slowly down the hill. I could feel the constant ticking of the hazard lights pounding away somewhere in my mind. I needed to find the dry spots. The only place that appeared remotely damp with water was on the left side, the side with the car against the wall. Everything else was either ice or snow, so I had elected to stick with the snow just continue to hope. I had to stay to the right or I would probably smash right into the accident and most likely be found holding my head along the side of the road, afterwards. This was my ultimate fear.

It was hard for me to make out that was still a car sitting sideways against the wall as it was a mile yet, down the hill. It was very steep and this was not once, but twice I felt my drive tires slip as I slowly pulled the 35,000 pound trailer.

I could feel time ticking away, but it stood still for a moment. I was no longer thinking about the load, the time it had to be in the dock, or my own well being. I feared for the lives in the car which could face a very violent awakening. If there was a day in my life I could honestly ask for nothing but courage, this was the day.

Slowly rolling down the hill, I had found my pace and the cars were letting me control the road, which was a breather for me at the moment. As I started to get closer to the car, I could not only start to make out that there were two people inside, I could also see that the ground wasn't covered in ice all the way down. I felt more relieved than anything when I was once again in total control of the truck. Although, I still kept a slow pace as I was just starting to pass the wreckage. It was an elderly couple and it didn't look like either of them were going to move, anytime soon.

The car was right smack dab in the very left lane of the three lane road. But where they were sitting was a potential hazard. The left lane merged into the middle lane and they were towards the end of the merge, but on the bottom of the hill, after all of the ice. I had to picture for a moment as I thought about what the hill looked like, as if I were to look up it. It was hard enough to see the wreck because of all of the cars, but the speed of the people driving down the hill, made this look potentially treacherous.

After passing the wreckage, I pulled off to the left about two hundred yards ahead of it and as close as I could to the cement wall. Climbing out of my truck, I thought I was nuts. "This is probably one of the craziest things I've ever done." and "What am I doing?", I kept saying to myself.

I walked up to the drivers door, which was perpendicular and facing the back of my trailer. The elderly man rolled down his window. I asked politely but with a strain in my voice, "Are you ok? Is everyone ok?" They both had nodded their head. I spoke as quick as could with just as much urgency included, "You gotta get out of the car. We gotta get this car off the road. This is too dangerous to sit here." They must have finally realized what was going on as I started opening the door. Just as soon as I had quickly ushered the elderly man out of the car, a minivan pulled up behind my truck. The man inside didn't look much younger then the couple I was trying to get to safety, but he was there to help and I was not the only one appreciative of it.

I quickly made my way over to the passengers side, momentarily glancing up the hill every few seconds. I needed to get these people out of this car. I opened the door and held out my hand, "It's ok, we're getting you in a safer place.", I told her as she quietly held my hand and pulled herself to her feet. Once standing she pulled me close and whispered in my ear, "My husband was a truck driver." We smiled briefly at each other and ushered her away from the car and toward the wall.

I looked at the two old men then glanced quickly up the hill. I turned back around and told them that we had to get the car off the road, before someone T-boned it. As I was walking around to the front of the car to see the damage and talk to the two old men about trying to move the car, I glanced once more up the hill.

A black pickup truck was in the lane and this was the very moment I had dreaded from the beginning. I started waving my arms in the air. Fruitlessly, I thought. I knew the truck couldn't see us and it was getting closer and closer. I also knew it was on ice and it was already going at least fifty miles per hour. I could tell, because it was moving at a speed to try and beat the traffic next to him before the lane merged with the other.

I kept waving my arms and one of the old men started waving his arms as well. It was the moment time had finally stood still. It was the moment, hope was all that we had.

To be continued...

1:51 AM - 12 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

Life on the Edge - The Unspoken Trust - Part II
Current mood: mellow
Category: Travel and Places

Disclaimer: This story may induce, cause or increase affects leading up to permanent brain damage, nausea, throat wrenching saliva, cottonmouth, shortness of breath, irregular breathing, tear-jerking, irregular beating of the heart, emotional sadness, depression, suspense, joy, uplifting feelings that can otherwise end coming out faster than a blond joke coming from a professional comedian.
It is my duty to express strong warnings, that if you don't want to feel or take part in any of these or any other emotions or feelings that may come about and were not scientifically studied upon to find a cure for, DO NOT KEEP READING.

Sometimes life's most fond moments can be found in the hands of a stranger. When does a stranger become a friend? How far should a person extend their life's limits in order to help a stranger in need? How far would you?

There is no cruise control in a vehicle of an eighteen wheeler traveling over snow and ice. It would be suicide to try and give a machine control in such conditions. I had to warm up my fingers and toes while keeping the truck going in the direction I needed it. Philadelphia. The last place I wanted to travel to through these conditions. The only place I needed to be.

The wind had died down quite a bit and the sleet had turned to snow by the time I had reached the Pennsylvania border. Although driving over snow and ice, I still could not drive very fast at all. It wasn't much further to the Turnpike, where the road conditions were normally much better than regular Interstate roads. The defrosters on my mirrors were by this time working well enough to melt the falling snow on contact.

In most winter conditions, the roads end up safe enough to drive close to the speed limit. But it's never a good thing to rely on a safe trip before it happens. Upon reaching the tollbooths the road was wet and as always the woman behind the holy half-door of greed had a cheerful grin on her face when she saw me approaching. I knew most of the female workers at the turnpike stations and when a new one would start taking shift, I was always quick to get a smile or a laugh before I had parted our ways. We always had small chit-chat while I was handing the money over to the servant and receiving a ticket to ride the road of deliverance. For as my thoughts of whoever came up the idea to charge people to drive on a road surely must of thought himself as god.

Upon exiting the tollbooths at night was nothing of new. If it were day, you'd sometimes feel like you were starting a race as all the vehicles filtered into two lines to go off speeding down a road to ones own destination. But at night, you usually found yourself alone and facing the bleak of darkness, ever hopeful of some sign of life within some short distance of reality.

The turnpike was wet and as always, dark as ever. Fleetingly chasing street lights that shine only briefly and always in some way, a glimmer of hope, a shine that comes down to give resurrection unto the night. Sometimes the corners and bends of the road feel like nightmares as not knowing exactly 'What If?'. What if there's an abandoned car that decides on its own that it wants to start rolling backwards? What if there's a kid helping his Dad change a tire and starts chasing after a lug nut that rolls across the forbidden sidewalk? What if...What if...

An ounce of fear can get someone through life by holding onto the reigns with a tight grip. An ounce of fear can also cause a dire mess in a matter of seconds. The need of keeping a professional attitude about a profession that twists, unfolds and pushes the limits of fear further than afar is and always will be a daunting task. Some do a damn good job at keeping their mind and thoughts at bay. Others aren't always as lucky to be able to repel the thoughts they don't need. Then others, like myself, dwell upon the thoughts that would drive others off the cliffs of insanity. Wanting and needing something to keep your mind alert and active is one of the hardest parts of being a truck driver out on the open road. Then on the other hand....the CD player was a godsend.

With ACDC pouring out of the speakers, I had jammed my way across "The Greed Highway" of Pennsylvania. Within fifty miles of my destination the sun had started to eclipse with the heavens yet still ever the shy when having to kiss the horizon. The clouds ended up being the peer pressure the sun needed as the street lights started to flicker themselves off long after the time in which they usually do. The sleeting rain I had to drive through in Ohio also touched base with the surrounding area of Philadelphia. A winter wonderland one would call it as the trees hung low and sometimes hugged the ground with a layer of icicles making it look like a sexual encounter. Once a year is not enough.

I had made it through the toll booth and took my exit, which kept me on a loop that went around the city. The roads were slick and it caused me to slow down and once again realizing I didn't have to pay to drive on this road. It's always the assumption that they don't care what happens on the roads that aren't furnished with more money than is needed to keep it plowed, salted and free of debris.

I had to make another exit onto another highway, which had three lanes that filtered into two lanes at the bottom of a hill. "The hill...", as I thought to myself, "Shit..." One of the steepest hills in this area and I knew the road was going to be as slick as ever. Upon reaching the top I tried to keep my eyes on the furthest point of vision. A layer of fog had entered into the scene, which hindered me from only seeing a mile ahead, at the most. I slowly crept across the top of the hill, as I knew I had to start off at the top in the lowest gear possible to prevent the truck from picking up too much speed and sliding, or worse..jackknifing my way down into a possible roll over. That would have been one intense moment, but surely wasn't as intense as the one I was about to face.

At the bottom of the hill in one of the lanes that merges together with another, there was a car that was sitting sideways, across the road and up against the concrete slab that acted as the barrier to prevent cars from crossing into oncoming traffic. I never did ask how the car ended that way. I can only guess that they hit ice on the way down and lost traction that caused them to spin out of control and into an abrupt halt as they slammed into the wall.

I instantly turned on my hazard lights and proceeded....slowly down the hill.

To be continued....

7:27 PM - 17 Comments - 20 Kudos - Add Comment

POSTPONED - Life on the Edge - LONGWINDED SELF-REALIZATION
Current mood: strong
Category: Blogging

Due to a very busy day and an unexpected change in plans, Part II will be written tomorrow. I had planned to write this "Edge" story last. I didn't know if I was going to write anymore before it, but the decision was made.

I ended up going to a carnival and watching my stepbro race in some lawn mower races. Just got home. It was pretty fun. I'll have to take my camera and show off some pictures, next time. The next races are Monday.

This new story of Life on the Edge will most likely be my last one that I do write, for awhile at least. And notably has already been awhile since I started a new one as it is. I just don't have the motivation to continue writing them. I've lost most of my 'regular' readers and don't really have a real reason to continue finding more readers. Then the ones I do have, they never comment, anyways. It all adds up into one decision.

My heart is healing and doing much better. Many things do change after having a heart attack. You certainly evaluate what you have and what you really want out of life. I'm not jumping the gun, but these next few blogs may very well be my last ones that I do write. It's about time to start getting back to the life I 'really' wanted from the beginning.  It's been a long detour and I've spent enough time..thinking.

For the one who may know and understand, thank you.

I suppose I should say that I'm sorry, but I don't think it would be necessary if I did put myself in your shoes (you got some big feet, ya know). However, I'm not you, so this is my apology such as it is.

I will most likely get rid of all the application games, which I narrowed it down to one game, anyways. I just didn't have time to play four plus application games every day and still at least try to be constructive with my life. The one I do have left will be gone here soon as well. Those who've added me as a friend because of the application games, let me know if you want to stay on my friends list, but as it is I don't think there will be very many of those anyways. (almost considering making a whole new myspace account)

I'll be re-evaluating my time and setting new goals, very soon. Looks like college just may very well be in my future after all. Can wish me luck if you will, but after this last story of Life on the Edge, I bid you adieu. I will probably write for my own benefit, afterwards.

There's really one one influence in my life right now and that's the way I want it to be. I'll still keep a myspace account and if I get a new one, I'll add all of the friends the 'real ones' I have met over the passed few years. I'm not sure if I will get a new account, but deleting 500 some odd people because of application games doesn't really appeal to me, at least not today. But, I will have one to send messages and so forth.

This might sound sucky to some of you, I understand. Honestly, I only hope I'm doing something right. But, I need to concentrate and keep focused. This is what I want.

I will still be here, but thank you. All of you.

12:56 AM - 8 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

Life on the Edge - The Unspoken Trust
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Travel and Places

Disclaimer: This story may induce, cause or increase affects leading up to permanent brain damage, nausea, throat wrenching saliva, cottonmouth, shortness of breath, irregular breathing, tear-jerking, irregular beating of the heart, emotional sadness, depression, suspense, joy, uplifting feelings that can otherwise end coming out faster than a blonde joke coming from a professional comedian.
It is my duty to express strong warnings, that if you don't want to feel or take part in any of these or any other emotions or feelings that may come about and were not scientifically studied upon to find a cure for, DO NOT KEEP READING.



You never know what's around that next bend, what's coming around the corner. It sometimes is a thrill to see someone else's misfortunes. It sometimes ends up being your own misfortune. Sometimes it isn't a misfortune at all and just ends up being one hell of a tale from the inside of a cab.


This was my weekly run from Columbus, Oh to Philadelphia, PA. The five hundred some odd miles never really bothered me and the paycheck was better than most paychecks I had received from some rather depressing jobs, which I've had in the past. I had just pulled out of the dock and closed the trailer doors. As I made my way up to the cab with crowbar in hand and the ritual tire beating and light checking ended up with a green light. I was ready to get this beast rolling and being on a time schedule that required me to be in Philly by 8am, I surely didn't have much time to waste.

Driving at night, you not only had to be alert, you had to keep the eyes from falling shut into a slumbering track that ended off down in a ditch. I was a professional, though. Driving at night required me to live on a night schedule, so that's how it worked. Driving east on I-70 was like driving down my drive way. I knew every nook and cranny the road had to offer. It was snowing, blowing and the wind chill factor was certainly not something I wanted to measure just for the hell of it. The inside of the cab was nearly warming up and I could start feeling the blood rush to my finger tips, which caused the little needles to come out and play.

I'll never forget some of the times, which was so very difficult to control a vehicle that was over 70 foot long in some of the most inclement weather conditions. Even down a road I had known every dip and curve like the back of my hand it was going to prove difficult this time around. I had checked the weather channel before leaving the drivers' lounge. I was certainly in for a treat.

After filling out the logbook and going through the weekly procedure of making sure the lunch pail was in arms reach, along with bottle of mountain dew, can of Amp and a can of V8, I was out of the trailer yard and up to the gate. With a quick slip of the papers and a quick shout-out to the guard, I was off down the road.

Driving across Ohio during the winter was always a pain. The roads were never plowed when I needed them to be and the Highway Patrol was always looking for a reason to pull the trucks over. By the time I had driven sixty miles, I ran into a sleet storm. It was hail, sleet, snow, wind…you name it and it was there. The ice started to form on the outside of the windshield and the wipers just weren't cutting it. I'd briefly check my mirrors, but I knew it was a lost cause. Both mirrors looked like they were the victims of a frozen waterfall. I wasn't even in the state of Pennsylvania yet and I was starting to wish I had taken the route to Indiana instead. Indiana run was so very boring, though. At least the Philly run actually had other traffic I could occasionally watch in a blur as it flickered headlights through the cracks of the median wall.

I checked briefly down at my map and with instinct, I quickly remembered that the next rest area was near five miles up the road. I could no longer see visually out my passenger's windshield, window or mirror and the driver's side was getting more frozen by the seconds. I knew the only way I was going to make it to the rest area was to slow down and let the cold hit the truck at a slower pace.

Without a doubt, I knew the rest area was going to be full, but all I needed was to find a place to pull over and find an ice pick and start chiseling away. I was constantly hoping that the driver's side windshield would hold out just long enough to get me onto the on ramp. The last thing I needed at this moment was to find myself stopping on a frozen road in the middle of night, sleet, wind and snow trying to keep warm as my shivering body chipped away the ice as truck after truck blew the storm back into my face as they quickly hurried to the parking spot that I was in desperate need of.

I could start to make out the lights that surrounded the Rest Area. It was truly a dismal sight. Looking out the windshield as it just started to become fully covered in ice; everything looked like I was walking into a mirror room of a fun house. The lights shimmered across the ice on the windshield, which caused my sight of the road even more difficult to see. I found that my foot on the accelerator had no other choice but to keep trying for the floor, but instinctively backing off and letting the truck slow down, slower and slower.

Upon reaching the onramp I had rolled down the window and was sticking my head out just enough to feel the tears run down my cheeks. The bitter cold pierced my face as I pulled up behind the trucks to search relentlessly for that glimmer of hope. After passing the first fifteen trucks, I knew it was a futile attempt, but I still had hope when that shining moment arrived and I fit the truck into its new home for the next….ten minutes.

The chore of removing ice from a truck comes natural during the winter, but when I walked around to the front of the truck I was more amazed than anything. The headlights had more than inch of ice covering them and the grill of the truck was frozen completely solid. Both windshields had a layer of ice covering every inch and the mirrors somehow looked like frozen sculptures that were just chiseled away from an ice sculptor trying to earn a few extra bucks. Working nonstop for the next ten minutes wasn't exactly hard, but the fear of not being able to feel my fingers and toes for much longer was starting to flick away at the back of my head sending off the signals, "Its freaking cold out here! Must…get…heat…"

Shivering uncontrollably as I made my way into my throne.  I knew I had to keep going, but I just needed a moment to at least thaw out the fingers.  This load was still on schedule and I was going to be there in the morning. As headstrong as I may have been, this was my job, my life, my rent money. I looked up the road at the blistering wind and frozen rain that continued to fall effortlessly to the ground. I put the truck in gear, released the brakes and slowly crept out of the one place I didn't want to leave. The last place I was to be found at rest before the sun had a chance to rise.


To be continued….


CLICK HERE TO READ PART II

Currently reading : The Devil’s Footprints By Amanda Stevens

1:04 AM - 10 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

Take It Down (new song!)
Current mood: animated
Category: Blogging

Ok, so I'm a couple months late. I have been very busy. But don't cut me any slack, though, because I want some comments people. This is the first song I have written since January, mind you. It's rock and roll, heavy metal. If you don't like it let me know. I don't care what you think, but what I want to read it! Come on people, let's hear it.



Take It Down

Take it down

(Intro for 45 seconds)


My eyes are bleeding
Sheltered from the shadows
Analyzing everything
And deep within
I accept my sin

You don't even know me
You don't even want to know

Are you going to give in?
Then give it all to me


What do you want?
Down
Don't look at me
Down
Get out of my face
Down
Here we go
Going to town

Down
Down
Down
Down

Take it down
(instrumental break 45 seconds)


My ears are hollow
Hearing the sounds that shouldn't be there
Crossing borders
Just one more step
Into my insanity

My shadows are looking at you
Shiver and a shake
I see you're done in now
I can tell by your mistake


What do you want?
Down
Don't look at me
Down
Get out of my face
Down
Here we go
Going to town

Down
Down
Down
Down

Take it down
(instrumental break 60 seconds)


I remember you
What are you looking for?
It ain't there
It ain't here
You're giving up?
I'm taking you down


What do you want?
Down
Don't look at me
Down
Get out of my face
Down
Here we go
Going to town

Down
Down
Down
Down

Take it down

Take it down
Take it down
Take it down

Take it down


Copyright 2008 - Michael M. Gilbert
(as always - hand written first)

3:40 AM - 28 Comments - 21 Kudos - Add Comment

I’m blogging that!
Current mood: amused
Category: Blogging

Everyone is minding there own business, people are chatting, couples are laughing. Me and my Dad are standing in line at Lowes waiting with our two big carts full of wood and another cart with screws, caulk, tape, and other odds and ends for home repair. Then out of nowhere, a late, middle aged woman walks up and just keeps walking right in front of three people with carts of wood and two other people with shopping carts. She pushes her cart right up in front of the line, just far enough so she's next in line.

Oh I could have exploded. Then I'm thinking, what if I did say something to her. "Hey, we were next yo!" Then she looks all surprised that she didn't see two huge carts full of 2x12x8's and 2x4x8's and 2x10x8's. I mean come on, how can you not notice people standing in line, AT LOWES with WOOD. HELLO!! I really did wish I could have just backhanded the witch and had a better day. I would have at least felt better in the moment...

I looked over at another guy with a shopping cart full of boxes of screws, nails and hooks and so forth. Looked like he was either putting up hooks in his garage to hang stuff with or he was putting hooks up in the kitchen to hang the coffee mugs. My guess is probably needed hooks in the garage, but you never can tell sometimes. He looks at me and you could just see in his eyes, "What a dolt, who walks passed three people with wood carts up to the front of the line without giving eye contact." He shakes his head and we kind of chuckle to ourselves. What a stupid dolt!

I had a project today, and got some wood for a project I need to work on tomorrow. I was taking out two windows and decided just to fill them in with wall and siding. Tomorrow I plan to rebuild my steps on my porch and use 2x12's for the steps instead of 2x10's. I think it will look nice, and the room with the windows will be warmer in the winter and cooler in the summer as I put a new air conditioner in there about a month ago.

I go back to imaginary land. I say to the lady, "Umm, we were next." She turns around and acts all surprised and embarrassingly walks to the back of the line. She miraculously remembers that she forgot something, then ended up finding it and something else she probably needed before going back in line and trying to sneak in front of someone else.

No, I wasn't trying to be nice today. So, I didn't give a shit if she forgot to get a tape measure and needed a kick in the ass to get in gear and remember. I didn't say anything. I hope she forgot ten things on her list. I turned around and looked at my Dad and said, "I'm blogging that!"

12:08 AM - 15 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Giants From Outerspace
Current mood: I’m sunburnt!

So, I was like mowing my lawn today...and I just started daydreaming while I was mowing it. Odd combination, I digress, but I've been working hard lately on cleaning things up around the place and fixing things and so forth. Overworked and stressed out for no apparent reason other than needing something to do.

I don't know why I am like this. I can't just sit here and do nothing as if I'm having fun. I can sit and meditate for an hour if I needed or wanted to, but I just can't sit here and watch TV and be bored. I have to feel....productive. I get great satisfaction knowing there is something challenging to do, but what exactly should I use this positive energy for, anyways?

Right! Back to the daydream! The Earth is very habitable for many, many creatures. So if there is life out there in the galaxy, who's to say they look like us? They could be four hundred feet tall, for all we know. And their feet would be like seventy foot long and have like tiny hands and huge head with no neck. So, there I was, daydreaming that these huge giant creatures from another part of the galaxy drop down on Earth and start up their huge lawnmowers and start making things like home.

Of course I can imagine the US retaliating instantly to these creatures, but the insanity would be off the charts. Everyone would be running around yelling, "Help, Jesus save us!" Praying that it all goes away so they can go about their normal lives. How normal that actually is, I wouldn't know. That's when my dream ended. Right when the lawnmower ran out of gas.

I got quite a few other things done today as well. I'm definitely falling into my new lifestyle, but I can't help but think if it's all worth it. Right when I start feeling like I'm getting tired of spending money, the electronics repair man comes in to work on my washer and dryer and says that my floor needs replaced. I knew it was coming, but I wasn't planning on doing anything to the bathroom till next year.

So, now I gotta spend more money to fix the floor in the bathroom, but I certainly don't want to start a new project this year as I wanted to start enjoying what I've done so far. A quick repair will get the job done, but it's just wasting money because I'm going to rip the bathroom out next year and put all new back in. Yep, that sounds like my old life is once again catching up. Maybe I should start smoking up some more weed, so I can just feel like I'm ahead of myself? Isn't that how it's done? I think that's how you do it. I have yet to write about that topic, but it's certainly one I've thought about quite a bit.

I'm going to attempt to change the subject...one more time... anyone watching America's Got Talent, tonight? I watched it last night. I can't believe they are letting people through that just put on a good show with no talent involved. I'll be watching it, but I most likely won't be glued to it. I might have cable now, but I'm still a multitasker at heart.

Currently reading : The Good Guy By Dean Koontz Release date: 2008-04-29

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ANALYZE THIS
Current mood: content
Category: Blogging

I pray to the writing gods, please don't let anyone kill themselves, prematurely, based upon my words.

Life's Lessons

I have learned that no matter how old you are, 'life's tasks' do get easier as age progresses. But most of the time it is always more challenging the older I get.

I have learned that starting over with a whole new mindset and outlook on life takes a lot longer than I had ever expected, although the whole situation had ultimately crashed upon me unexpectedly.

I have learned money isn't everything; this I do agree with. However, without money life is very boring. Though this can go hand in hand with how much money I was raised with and how much I would 'need' to feel a certain comfort away from ending up being bored.

Analyze This

First off, thank you, everyone; for the happy birthday wishes. I was certainly wrong. It is indeed something to smile upon when you go througout your whole entire day just trying to keep busy and not really wanting anything in particular. Sometimes I do feel lonely throughout the days, but it's just the choice I have made that I have to deal with. When I logged into myspace a few times throughout the day people had kept sending me messages and comments wishing me well. Thank you.

Every day is different for me. Although, most wouldn't consider trying to keep busy with nothing 'important' to do as being different. But, I have been very busy lately doing many different things. I've gotten my porch that I waited and wanted for so many years now. That made me happy.

I've added some citronella torches and table. I also stained my rocking chair. I'm quite proud of that. I really do like my chair. It is definitely my favorite chair to sit in while I a read a book and oh my goodness have I been reading.

Apart from reading tons of stats and many logs of information's about the NFL and the new 2008 season, I have also read a couple books this year and am currently reading three books at once with two more waiting to be opened after that. I've found that reading is quite relaxing. It not only gives me something to do, but it also helps me slow down a bit and chill with the analyzing of everything I do.

I'm certainly stepping up from where I was a year or so ago. I am getting a laptop this week and I finally gave in and told the cable company to come and install cable, which comes tomorrow. But we all know it's just for football season, right! I'm still thinking on that one. I don't watch television much and after my laptop arrives from the ordering shipment I don't think I'll do much more of anything other than sit on the laptop most of the day.

I did end up building this computer I am currently using. I spent a good deal of money into it and I can tell you now, I can play any game the Internet has with all settings on high. I'd almost go as far as being able to play two games at once (both on high settings). I'm quite content with what I ended up with and the experience alone was huge. I built this computer from ten boxes of brand new parts.

Other than doing my best at keeping busy throughout the days my mind feels so e