being
Category: Religion and Philosophy

Being

I live in a world filled with such silence. Yet the chatter abounds in my head like an un-greased roller coaster. Of a past full of memories. A present filled with portions of love, emptiness and loneliness. A future full of possibilities and journeys I long to take. I travel the corners of my world often feeling lost and alone. So few who understand me. Family so far away. Friends just passing ships. Do others hear static when I speak? Am I so complicated and convoluted others lose my meaning? I am misunderstood and misrepresented. Pleasing was a symptom of my past. Being is now my burden. I choose solitude and simplicity in my external world. Inside I feel more alive in my unconscious and conscious being. Here I feel safe in my own curiosity. I allow my imagination and creativity to paint my internal canvas with vibrant colors of hope. I trust my intuition as it is the truth and am vulnerable to my own innocence. Confidence radiates brightly in times of joy. Tears well and fall in times of sadness. I miss those who've indelibly touched my life. Beauty is everywhere and in everything. So many things take my breath away. So many things have brandished my soul. I see the world with all of my senses. My brain connects all of my senses to my heart and soul. Everything has so much more meaning when I open myself up to it. Maybe I really do see things differently than most. Maybe I am even strange as some say. My life's experiences have led me to a more conscious level of clarity. I have traveled a difficult path and overcome many obstacles. I realized fear was holding me back from myself. Now I welcome life's obstacles and challenge fear. I will no longer listen to the fear of others. I will listen to the confidence of myself. I will overcome and realize my potential. I will continue to live in my quietly loud world. Someday someone will finally hear me. Someday someone will really see me. Someday someone will truly understand me. Until then I will love me for me. I will appreciate that which is unappreciated and that which is being.

9:18 PM - 1 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

yes on 8 means yes to intolerance
Category: News and Politics

Yes on 8 Means Yes to Intolerance

Living in California and being surrounded by the news and press on Proposition 8 has been a top story along with the presidential race these past months.

I can't help but have a voice and opinion on the matter of same-sex couples and marriage because I'm in an interracial relationship, and the same fundamental undercurrents of hatred and intolerance that spanned generations, still exist today for both types of unions.

The passing of Proposition 8 now overturns a recent California Supreme Court decision that had recognized same-sex marriage in the state of California a fundamental right. It amends the state constitution restricting the use of the term 'marriage' and adding 'only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.'

It is sad that that so many people are so close minded and so intolerant to other people's relationships, which have absolutely no bearing whatsoever on their own. Yet they sit and pass judgement on people, on their lifestyle and their chosen love as if they are entitled, and as if this union were encroaching on them somehow, even condemning their union as immoral.

The reality is, this biased judgement removes the sole rights and liberties of the same-sex couples themselves, disallowing them the same privilege of wedded bliss bestowed to other couples in love. And not only does Prop 8 make same-sex marriage illegal, it will also cause many problems with tax filing, family insurance and adoption matters of previously married same-sex couples, and those who had planned a future wedding and family.

Same-sex couples just want the same rights and privileges as traditional couples, with the freedom to marry. They don't want to force their views of homosexuality on you or your children nor broadcast with a megaphone at your children's school. They just want the same societal rights you are freely given, so stop thinking you are better than they are and that you have the right to take away their inalienable and civil rights, you do not.

Love is a matter of the heart and basic humanity, it has no bearing on race, creed or gender. As humans we can't control who we fall in love with, and when love comes knocking we of course should answer that door.

9:06 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

great sex starts in the brain
Category: Romance and Relationships

Great Sex Starts in the Brain

The average male from 18-59 thinks about sex from one to several times each day, so basically sex is always on his brain. Yet only 25% of females think about sex each day, so sex is really not so much on her brain. And to be honest ladies, that is the real problem here.

With men, sex, almost any sex and just the mere fact of getting sex, well is just plain pretty good to them. The same cannot be said for women. Not all women enjoy sex. And the fact of the matter is not all women enjoy sex because they actually don't experience the ultimate pleasure sex has to offer, the orgasm, so clearly they are left unfulfilled.

Over the years, I've encountered many women from family members to friends to coworkers, and it is clearly astounding to me the number of them who don't particularly enjoy sex and more so those who've never had an honest to goodness orgasm. The problem most of these women have, and others like them, is a mental blocker, so until it is released, the orgasm won't be visiting their home any time soon.

This mental blocker can be the form of fear, insecurity, distrust, stress, anger, resentment, bills, job, children, and basically any other mental clutter rattling around in your mind that shouldn't be during that intimate time. Of course any of these thoughts will kill the mood and take what could have been an enjoyable moment to, an 'are you done yet?' moment or merely just take you half way to your pleasure destination. Half way? That is like winning two tickets to Hawaii, one of the most beautiful travel destinations in the world, yet when the plane lands, you immediately exit onto another plane and fly back home, without ever actually visiting. The flight may have been nice and well the scenery just spectacular as the plane was landing. But sorry you'll never get to see the beautiful landscape, beaches or sunset. Now wouldn't that just be an absolutely wasted trip? Well the same can be said for sex when there's a mental blocker blocking your orgasm zone.

How do I know about this mental blocker and great sex starting in the brain? Well because I could say I'm an expert being a living example. In my first serious relationship at 19 I was scared, insecure of my body, afraid of sex, unsure of his body and I didn't truly know or trust my partner. So even though I liked him and found I enjoyed this new sex, I wasn't fully experiencing how amazing great sex could be and quite frankly didn't know the difference. That was until my next boyfriend who basically changed my life. He was a very shy, intelligent guy, but extremely passionate lover with amazing body and endowments. He brought me out of my shell and turned me into a woman and pleasure goddess. With him I finally allowed myself to let go of all of my inhibitions, all of my fears, all of my insecurities and gave him all of my trust and love. I released my mental blocker. We didn't have sex, we made love. We generated a passion that transcended us to another plane where our minds, souls and hearts connected as one and orgasms flowed like streams. I finally experienced what Harlequin wrote so eloquently about yet never understood.

Great sex starts in the brain by awakening all of your senses. When all of your senses highten through sight, touch, taste and smell, and you increase your oxygen intake through breathing, energy will flow through your bloodstream to all of your erogenous zones stimulating your core pleasures. And when you and your lover passionately connect as if playing a symphony, passion will flow the two of you as one, mentally, physically and emotionally. You will reach a greater sense of pleasure and arousal than you've ever experienced before finally allowing the floodgates to your orgasm.

Getting rid of a mental blocker is so liberating and freeing and a must do for everyone, but especially women to achieve the ultimate 'O' and attain the great sex they've always desired. The reality is sex is far more mental than physical as it is the brain that stimulates our bodies. Even foreplay is actually more mental than physical. Think about and plan your sexual encounter the morning of or during the day, and prepare yourself mentally. Visualize and fantasize about your encounter. When you get home have a glass of wine and nice hot shower or bubble bath, light some candles, and further set your tone, to then take this mental fantasy to a physical reality. Your foreplay has been set in motion all day and you will be primed and ready for a passionfest. Not only will you be in the mood, but you will be exuding such an hot confidence to your partner, that he absolutely must have you! Achieving this greater sex will allow for greater happiness and health, not to mention enhancing your relationship with your partner. So here's to knocking down that mental blocker and finally having some great sex!

9:12 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

a time for hope, unity and change
Category: News and Politics

A Time for Hope, Unity and Change

Obama wins in the midst of the naysayers, and with it he brings hope. Hope to fill the hearts and minds of the children, hope to clear away the white cloud hovering over our nation's economy, and hope to heal the deep wounds affecting generations of families from centuries of mistrust, betrayal, hatred and intolerance.

At a time our country was run by men who were so driven by so much fear and greed they oppressed those they were intimidated by, American Indians, African Americans, Mexican Americans, women and homosexuals, and took away all of their freedoms and rights as human beings. For centuries it has been a fight and struggle for these minority groups to gain rights and equality. Now today these minorities have risen up into a position of strength and unity in numbers, joining together to make their voices heard.

The well-being of our country, our people and our economy must become our number one priority. Currently our situation is quite grim and has followed the same stagnant path for years. We must be willing to stop being so conservative and change course toward a more successful future.

The time has come for our nation to come together in unity as one people, to believe in hope for a better tomorrow and to take a stand to make change happen. I believe Barack Obama is the ideal man and leader for this task and and was moved to tears during his monumental and historical win. 

November 4, 2008 will always be remembered as one of the most historical dates of the 21st Century, when the first African American won the election to become the 44th President-Elect of the United States of America.

9:03 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

mama's boys reality mom is a BITCH!
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Mama's Boys on NBC is a new reality show executive produced by Ryan Seacrest, where three eligible 'mama's boys' and their mothers move into a mansion in Santa Barbara, CA with 32 single women hoping to win the heart of one of the sons. I had no intention of watching the show, but was so compelled after I saw the show's trailer, just to see if it was going to be as shocking as it eluded to. Well let me tell you, NBC has scraped the bottom of the barrel when selecting one of the show's mothers, an Iraqi, not because of her heritage mind you, but because she is an ignorant bigot who boastfully puts her son on the highest pedestal as if he were royalty and no girl were good enough for him.

On her introductory video to the 32 girls of the house vying for his and her attentions, she blatantly states 'I cannot have a black one, I can't have an asian one, I can't have a fat butt girl, I just can't see that white and black thing right now because of the kids; no, no jewish girl, no way, I cannot stand them, I'm sorry I can't handle them; it has to be a white girl, she has to be perfect and petit, and she does what I tell her to.' All of the women of the house were offended, including all of the white girls. There was a complete look of horror on their faces, including mine at the shear blasphemy coming out of this woman's mouth! Since I'm sure most of you have not seen this show, let me first just give you a mental picture of the mother to understand the scope here...this woman is a full-figured, uneducated, fat-assed, loud-mouthed, illiterate, hypocritical bigot and seriously needs to get a fucking clue and a big fucking mirror and take a long look in it. She is everything she does not want for her son, yet she ironically says she wants someone like her for him. Clearly she must either be insane or just stupid or both.

When this woman finally shows up to the mansion, she basically just glares at the girls taking inventory and visually just crosses most of them off the list immediately. The girls tried to pretend they didn't see the video and wanted to see what this mother would say and see how she would react to them, but they couldn't stand the utter looks of disgust she flashed at most of them. Finally a strong, educated black girl confronted her telling the mother they had seen the video and how appalled they were by it. The mom said she didn't care and basically reiterated her list of unacceptable woman, which included her being black. She even called this girl a black bitch after a few words. I was just absolutely floored. Honestly that mother deserved a beat down and she's lucky some of the girls held that girl back from going after her.

So there's this other cute black girl who said she is making it her mission to land this hot son and just piss this mother off out of spite and teach her a life lesson! I can't wait for the twists and turns of this budding relationship, as they show a glimpse of a future episode of the son and her making out in the hot tub and the mom flying over head in a helicopter and going ape shit. I just laughed my ass off. I happened to find the trailer video on YouTube, so I'm attaching it for you to check out if you'd like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mcnqe9RKirw

I have to say her son is adorable and I truly feel sorry for him. He is quite meek and clearly a mama's boy who cowers to her every wish. I can only hope he grows a set of brass balls during the show and can eventually make decisions for himself in the future. He needs to cut the umbilical cord already and tell her to go pound salt.

Well I guess I will be watching the show now to see what kind of drama and scandals ensue. Half of the girls are good girls, and the other half are bad girls, so the boys sure are going to have major temptations, while the mothers are going to be getting pissed off and have their hands full with all of these girls and their sons.

Did you see the show? What are your thoughts? Leave a comment...

8:47 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

3 gifts
Category: Life

3 gifts

everyone has three innate gifts they give to the many people they encounter along life’s journy. unfortunately many people seem to wander aimlessly down life’s path unaware of their gifts or those they were given by passerbyes. i myself was one of these people until recently. after serious soul searching and reconnecting with myself and the universe i started really understanding the person i am and how i connect to everyone around me. it seems throughout my lifetime i kept coming back to these same 3 things...

love, compromise, forgiveness

love...i have the capacity to love unconditionally, without limits or boundaries

compromise...i always consider what is best inevitably for everyone not any particular individual, nor just my own selfish needs

forgiveness...anger and pain hurt everyone involved and forgiveness heals everyone’s wounds and erases any unnecessary guilt

and what i realize is this...not only are these my gifts, but at times they are  also my weakness and for which can get me into trouble, and i am most vulnerable to be taken advantage of. so i have to find the strength to balance these gifts so they can only be used for good...thus they are my bittersweet cross to bear.

what are your 3 gifts and why?

7:23 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

anorexia and modeling...a world epidemic

Anorexia and modeling...a world epidemic

Modeling breeds anorexia

Why does fashion, runway, fashion designing and modeling dictate the state of a persons size or weight? This industry is breeding anorexics like cattle, or should I say baby cattle starved to create veal...but what exactly is the end result for a starved, emaciated and skeletal model really, other than literally killing themselves? Why are women dying to be thin and starving themselves...for beauty's sake? Let's seriously consider reality here...what is exactly beautiful about an anorexic model. The only literal visibility is that she is nothing more than skin and bones. And when you think of skin and bones, you probably visualize a corpse. So I ask, why is the modeling industry a thriving mass of corpses? And why are clothes being designed and created for sticks rather than women, real women? Fashion and shopping today has become such a hindrance for the masses because like me, most women are of an average womanly structure sized 10-18 with shapely curves. Yet by modeling industry standards, a sized 10-18 woman is considered plus size...in the real world she is normal and average size. It is so difficult for a woman, and I mean real woman to find clothes that actually fit and flatter her shape. Today designers construct clothes that would look better on a broom or mop whereby they consider their standard size for construction to be a size 0-1. It seems to me that clothing sized 0-1 would fit children and maybe pre- and pubescent girls and boys far better than 90% of the population of women.

In the October 2 edition of People magazine, I almost flipped by an article entitled "No Waifs Allowed, Spain sets off an international controversy by banning underweight models from its runways"...hmmm how intriguing is this...yet it is on page 80 and facing a quite overpowering car ad and could easily be missed. So I read on in anticipated excitement. So to sum it up...on Sept. 6 Madrid Fashion Week officials announced that models had to meet a weight standard and body-mass index of at least 18 or 122 lbs for someone 5'9". Out of 300 models needed for a 3-day event, only 68 showed up. Well could it be because the majority of models were anorexic...why yes! Alas there has to be huge contradiction to the little tale...Paris, London, Milan and New York all disagree with these weight standards and rules, stating "If [models] look healthy and they're naturally thin, then they will go on my catwalk." HELLO...what the hell is healthy or beautiful about a skeletal anorexic model? Why is this industry continuing to glamorize what is quite literally a sickness? If anorexia is clearly apparent and acknowledged in the same industry that breeds anorexia, wouldn't it make sense for the remainder of the industry to finally recognize this epidemic and finally enforce a change for the better. Let's finally put an end to the suffrage of women vying to fit in to this "dying to thin" world. Let's stop accepting what is clearly not acceptable. Let's put an end to the bitter extremes and insanity of anorexia and create a world of positive change...especially during a time when nutrition and health consciousness is so apparent.

Lastly I ask...why did People Magazine feel the need to bury this profound issue in the middle of their publication giving it little to no notice-ability, which quite obviously is weighing so heavily on the world today. Why not portray this controversial matter front and center on the cover and in big headlines. The article itself was quite short and only ran in conjunction with a 3-page spread about Kate Bosworth "Is She Too Thin". I think the world cares a little bit more about humanity in the masses, versus the thinness of one particular girl, the death of Anna Nicole Smith's son or whether or not Clay Aiken is gay...as depicted and featured as main stories and spreads. This is one of the most shallow attempts at journalism at its best. It is ok to write an article about the truth of anorexia and its existence in modeling and fashion...because those are facts and not and topic of concern for lawsuits or slander. The media continually tip-toes around celebrities and models with anorexia and journalizes these major issues with a minor slap on their hand and shaming them publicly. Let's just be blunt and straightforward already and evoke change. Let's finally deal with the real topic at hand here, instead of just running pictorials of the lifestyles of the rich and anorexic. Let's point fingers at the industries themselves and demand change because it obviously isn't going to go away or fix itself. How about running a 6-page spread about the disease of anorexia that is killing a vast majority of the population...and sure finger point to the industries of fashion, modeling and runway...and yes pictoralize the reality behind it all with celebrities and models. Maybe a swift kick in the ass is what this world needs.

10:22 PM - 9 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

what is our purpose?

9:03 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Anorexia in America...stop the insanity!
Current mood: discontent

Anorexia in America...stop the insanity!

I am appalled and disgusted that anorexia has become such a fashion statement in America...more so today than ever before. Since when is skin and bones beautiful? Women are looking like war-torn POWs, as if they just got freed from one of Hitler's concentration camps. There is nothing beautiful or sexy about a sickly looking anorexic woman...and the fact that society accepts and embraces this illness and turns it into a trend, even glamorizing it is simply ridiculous and just so wrong on every level.

While in the grocery store line I picked up the Enquirer, the headline read "Wasting away, stars risking their lives to be thin". And pictured are the following celebrities:

Nicole Ritchie - 5'2" 86 lbs.
Ellen Pompeo (House) - 5'7" 100 lbs.
Keira Knightley - 5'7" 100 lbs.
Calista Flockheart - 5'5" 98 lbs.
Portia DeRossi - 5'8" 82 lbs.
Victoria Beckham - 5'6" 93 lbs.
Sienna Miller - 5'6" 112 lbs.
Anna Kournikova - 5'6" 100 lbs.
Angelina Jolie - 5'7" 120 lbs. and still losing after birth of daughter
Marc Anthony (singer & JLo's hubby) - 5'8" 140
Carson Daily - 6'2" 163
Nicholas Cage - 6'1" 157

we could also add the following celebrities who fell victim to this anorexic and dying to be thin epidemic...most of whom deny eating disorders:

lindsey lohan
jamie-lynn sigler
renee zellwiger
hillary duff
kelly rippa
nicole kidman
morgan fairchild
madonna
christina ricci
brittany murphy
alicia silverstone
jennifer anniston
courtney cox
courtney thorne smith
anna nicole smith
penelope cruz
lara flynn boyle
teri hatcher
whitney houston
kate moss
cameron diaz
julia roberts
olsen twins
paris hilton
kate bosworth


How about being real and blunt and making some headlines that read "have these stars looked in the mirror lately?" or "force feed these stars a hamburger already because they look gross" or "anorexia is ugly and a mental illness...look who's dying to be sick and thin".

I'm sorry but nobody needs to be this skinny for television, movies and modeling...so Hollywood/LA/New York stop telling actors and models to lose weight...you should be to blame for the spread of this tragic illness! What on earth makes you think actors & models look better thinner or anorexic? Surely not the size 0-4 clothes you overstock on the shelves and racks in department stores...because they only fit pre-pubescent teens and the anorexic. Let's discuss the average sized woman...she is 5'4", weighs 145 lbs. and wears a size 10, 12 or 14...yet in the modeling world this is considered too short and plus size...how so I ask? Maybe try normal and healthy and the real sizes of most American women. The most beautiful and glamorous women throughout history would fit into this size category...let's see...Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell, Sophia Loren...the list could go on and on.

When is enough enough? Eating healthy and working out are good if done according to normal and healthy practices and standards, but yes considered too much if overdone or done obsessively. Why are so many people taking extreme measures and risking their health and life...for what? Look in the mirror and truly see yourself for who are you...and love this person. You were created the way you are for a reason...to be you...singularly unique and nobody else looks like you. Realize you are beautiful inside and out and love this person. You will realize your own potential once you truly see yourself and love yourself. Stop thinking or feeling like you are not good enough, pretty enough, thin enough. There were no guidelines written for you to be like someone else...or guidelines for that matter that dictate what is right, who looks good and what should be doing. Beauty is subjective and in the eye of the beholder. Once you behold your own beauty, others will see the real you and see you as beautiful. You have to believe you are beautiful for others to believe this beauty and believe in the real you. True internal peace comes from loving and accepting the person you are and being the best person you know you can be. Stop trying to be someone else, someone you're not. Stop trying to please everyone but yourself, they only see your unhappiness anyway. Put an end to this ongoing cycle of abuse you live in. Heal your mind before you heal your body. If someone doesn't like the person you are or disapproves of the person you are, it is likely they are transposing their own feelings of inadequacy toward you. Just be honest, just be yourself.

When I was 19, I was too thin and looked and felt anorexic...standing 5'8" I weighed a mere 115 lbs. I hated the way my body looked, especially without clothes. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my skeletal appearance and had no idea what sexy felt like. I had inadvertently lost 15-20 lbs because of some stomach flu, constant vomiting and subsequently not eating. For months afterward I was afraid to eat or ate very little because I was afraid of vomiting again. I eventually got back up to 125-130 by age 23, yet I was still quite thin and wore a size 7 or 9. I felt my body looked abnormal...I did not have breasts, I had skinny arms and legs, yet I had a wide hips/pelvis and protruding bones. I was very insecure and did not love or respect myself. I really hated all of my imperfections.

Today at 39 I am a curvy, voluptuous sized 16/18 woman. Ten years of fertility treatments put me through a roller coaster of weight gains and weight losses. My family was always commenting I was getting fat...because they had been used to the skinny kid and young adult I once was. I've even had a hysterectomy, thus throwing me in menopause...surprisingly giving me bountiful breasts and more uniformly shapely curves. I look and feel like a beautiful woman and finally know what sexy feels like. I finally love the woman I am and embrace all my curves and imperfections. I try to live my life the best I can and use moderation as a guide...as life is too short to go through it unhappy, unfulfilled and with regret. Could I stand to lose 40 or 50 lbs.? Sure, but I won't kill myself to get there. If I can't lose this extra weight under the guise of moderation, then I will remain happy and content and live a fulfilling life just as I am. I believe the occasional indulgence of pizza, buttered popcorn or chocolate are ok in moderation...why deny myself something that tastes good. I love me just as I am, and so does Luis, completely. I am the only person I have to answer to. So for anyone out there who thinks I'm fat or says I should lose weight...worry about yourself and the person you are inside and out. Once you find your own sense of self-love and happiness...then maybe you will love and accept everyone for who they are...and look at me simply as the beautiful woman I am.



Below I'm including information about eating disorders and other bodily disorders from www.anred.com


The better-known eating disorders
There are many diseases, disorders, and problem conditions involving food, weight and eating, but in everyday conversation, the term "eating disorders" has come to mean anorexia nervosa, bulimia, and binge eating disorder, which are defined on this page. Definitions of lesser-known eating and ingestion disorders are found farther on in this Web site.
In addition, there are people who meet some of the diagnostic criteria for these disorders but not all. They may have a subclinical eating disorder or one that does not neatly fit into a current diagnostic category. For details, see the ED-NOS section at the bottom of this page.

Anorexia nervosa: the relentless pursuit of thinness
-Person refuses to maintain normal body weight for age and height.
-Weighs 85% or less than what is developmentally expected for age and height.
-Young girls do not begin to menstruate at the appropriate age. Puberty is delayed in both sexes.
-In women, menstrual periods stop. In men, levels of sex hormones fall. Sex drive disappears or is much diminished.
-Person denies the dangers of low weight.
-Is terrified of becoming fat.
-Is terrified of gaining weight even though s/he is alarmingly underweight.
-Reports feeling fat even when emaciated.
-In addition, anorexia nervosa often includes depression, irritability, withdrawal, and peculiar behaviors such as compulsive rituals, strange eating habits, and division of foods into "good/safe" and "bad/dangerous" categories. Person may have low tolerance for change and new situations; may fear growing up and assuming adult responsibilities and an adult lifestyle. May be overly engaged with or dependent on parents or family. Dieting may represent avoidance of, or attempts to cope with, the demands of a new life stage such as adolescence.




Bulimia nervosa: the diet-binge-purge disorder
-Person diets, becomes hungry, and then binge eats in response to powerful cravings and feelings of deprivation.
-Feels out of control while eating.
-Fears gaining weight and frantically tries to "undo" the binge. Vomits, misuses laxatives, exercises, or fasts to get rid of the calories.
-Swears to "be good," to never binge eat again, but then continues to restrict food intake which starts yet another repeat of the deprivation-hunger-binge-purge cycle.
-Believes self-worth requires being thin. (It does not.)
-May shoplift, be promiscuous, and abuse alcohol, drugs and credit cards. May engage in risk-taking behavior and have other problems with impulse control. Person acts with little thought of consequences.
-Weight may be normal or near normal unless anorexia is also present.
-Like anorexia, bulimia can kill. Even though bulimics put up a brave front, they are often depressed, lonely, ashamed, and empty inside.
-Friends may describe them as competent, glamorous, adventurous and fun to be with, but underneath, where they hide their guilty secrets, they are hurting. Feeling unworthy, they have great difficulty talking about their feelings, which almost always include anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and deeply buried anger.




Binge eating disorder
-The person binge consumes large amounts of food frequently and repeatedly.
-Feels out of control and unable to stop eating during binges.
-May eat rapidly and secretly, or may snack and nibble all day long.
-Feels guilty and ashamed of binge eating.
-Has a history of diet failures
-Tends to be depressed and obese.
-People who have binge eating disorder do not regularly vomit, overexercise, or abuse laxatives like bulimics do. They may be genetically predisposed to weigh more than the cultural ideal (which at present is exceedingly unrealistic), so they diet, make themselves hungry, and then binge in response to that hunger.??-Or they may eat for emotional reasons: to comfort themselves, avoid threatening situations, and numb emotional pain. Regardless of the reason, diet programs are not the answer. In fact, diets almost always make matters worse. Information reported in the March 2003 New England Journal of Medicine suggests that for some people, but not all, a genetic flaw in combination with lifestyle factors can predispose to binge eating and subsequent obesity.

Less-well-known eating disorders and related problems
There are many diseases, disorders and conditions involving food, eating and weight. Here are brief descriptions of problems other than anorexia nervosa, bulimia and binge eating disorder.



Purging disorder
-Not yet a formal diagnosis, but seems to be separate from bulimia nervosa. At present, falls into the category of "Eating disorder not otherwise specified: EDNOS."
-The person purges (vomits, abuses laxatives, diuretics, emetics, etc.) but does not binge eat.
-Person maintains normal or near normal weight.
-Researchers suspect that purging disorder may be more common than anorexia nervosa and bulimia combined.
-There is a scholarly discussion of purging disorder in the International Journal of Eating Disorders 2005; 38:191-100. A public librarian or a research librarian in your school or local hospital can tell you how to obtain a copy.

Anorexia athletica (compulsive exercising)
-Not a formal diagnosis. The behaviors are usually a part of anorexia nervosa, bulimia, or obsessive-compulsive disorder.
-The person repeatedly exercises beyond the requirements for good health.
-May be a fanatic about weight and diet.
-Steals time to exercise from work, school, and relationships.
-Strives to achieve and master ever more difficult challenges. Forgets that physical activity can be fun.
-Defines self-worth in terms of performance
-Is rarely or never satisfied with athletic achievements. Small satisfactions are fleeting. Does not savor victory. Pushes on to the next challenge immediately.
-Justifies excessive behavior by defining self as a "special" elite athlete.
-Compulsive exercising is not an official diagnosis as are anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder. We include it here because many people who are preoccupied with food and weight exercise compulsively in attempts to control weight. The real issues are not weight and performance excellence but rather control and self-respect. For more information, go to Athletes With Eating Disorders and Males and Females and Obligatory Exercise.



Body dysmorphic disorder
-People with BDD are excessively concerned about appearance, in particular perceived flaws of face, hair, and skin. They are convinced these flaws exist in spite of reassurances from friends and family members who usually can see nothing to justify such intense worry and anxiety.
-The person with an eating disorder says, "I am so fat." The person with BDD says, "I am so ugly."
-BDD often includes social phobias. Sufferers are shy and withdrawn in new situations and with unfamiliar people.
-BDD affects about two percent of the people in the United States. It strikes males and females equally. Seventy percent of cases appear before age eighteen.
-BDD sufferers are at elevated risk for despair and suicide. In some cases they undergo multiple, unnecessary plastic surgeries.
-BDD is thought to be a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder. It is not a variant of anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa.
-BDD is treatable and begins with an evaluation by a physician and mental health care provider. Treatments thus far found to be effective include medication (especially meds that adjust serotonin levels in the brain) and cognitive-behavioral therapy. A clinician makes the diagnosis and recommends treatment based on the needs and circumstances of each person.



Muscle dysmorphic disorder (bigorexia)
-A subtype of body dysmorphic disorder, described above.
-Sometimes called "bigorexia," muscle dysmorphia is the opposite of anorexia nervosa. People with this disorder obsess about being too small and undeveloped. They worry that they are too little and too frail. Even if they have good muscle mass, they believe their muscles are inadequate.
-We have more information about muscle dysmorphic disorder on another page in this site.



Infection-triggered, auto immune subtype of anorexia nervosa in young children
-Not an official eating disorder, but the topic has gathered the interest of researchers.
-May be related to a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder triggered by an auto immune process involving bacteria or viruses and parts of the nervous system.
-May be related to pediatric infection-triggered auto immune neuropsychiatric disorders (PITANDS) and pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorders associated with streptococcus (PANDAS).
-Suspected when symptoms and behaviors typical of anorexia nervosa appear suddenly in a young child, or when symptoms and behaviors in a young child worsen quickly with no other explanation.
-And when the child has had a recent respiratory, throat, or other infection.
-Antibiotics, antivirals, and/or vaccines may be part of the treatment, either after refusal to eat appears or as prevention.
-The first step in treatment is a thorough evaluation done by a pediatrician who is familiar with PITANDS and PANDAS research.
-Reference for physicians: Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Volume 36, Number 8.



Orthorexia nervosa
-Not an official eating disorder diagnosis, but the concept is useful. The name was coined by Steven Bratman, M.D., to describe "a pathological fixation on eating 'proper' or 'pure' or 'superior' food."
-People with orthorexia nervosa feel superior to others who eat "improper" food, which might include non-organic or fun foods and items found in regular grocery stores, as opposed to health food stores.
-Orthorexics obsess over what to eat, how much to eat, how to prepare food "properly," and where to obtain "pure" and "proper" foods.
-Eating the "right" food becomes an important ,or even the primary, focus of life. One's worth or goodness is seen in terms of what one does or does not eat. Personal values, relationships, career goals, and friendships become less important than the quality and timing of what is consumed.
-Perhaps related to, or a type of, obsessive-compulsive disorder



Night-eating syndrome
-The person has little or no appetite for breakfast. Delays first meal for several hours after waking up. Is often upset about how much was eaten the night before.
-Most of the day's calories are eaten late in the day or at night.
-We have more information about night-eating syndrome on another page in this site.



Nocturnal sleep-related eating disorder
-Thought to be a sleep disorder, not an eating disorder
-Person eats while asleep or in a semi-conscious state. Has little or no memory of episode the next day and may be embarrassed or horrified to find evidence of behavior.
-May also sleep walk.
-We have more information about nocturnal sleep-related eating disorder on another page in this site.



Rumination syndrome
-Person eats, swallows, and then regurgitates food back into the mouth where it is chewed and swallowed again. Process may be repeated several times or for several hours per episode.
-Rumination may be voluntary or involuntary.
-Ruminators report that regurgitated material does not taste bitter, and that it is returned to the mouth with a gentle burp, not violent gagging or retching -- not even nausea.
-We have more information about rumination syndrome on another page in this site.



Gourmand syndrome
-Person is preoccupied with fine food, including its purchase, preparation, presentation, and consumption. S/he is less engaged than previously with friends, family, job, and other activities.
-Gourmand syndrome is very rare. Only 34 cases have been reported in medical literature. It is thought to be caused by injury to the right side of the brain -- tumor, concussion, stroke, etc.
-Some symptoms overlap with obsessive-compulsive and addictive disorders.
-In spite of their "lusting after food" and enthusiastic consumption of it, people with gourmand syndrome do not seem to become fat. Nor do they vomit, abuse laxatives, or engage in other pathological weight-loss behaviors. They had normal relationships with food before the brain injury.
-Cognitive, behavioral, and motor impairments are common, probably also related to the brain injury. People are not particularly troubled by their new consuming interest.
-Treatment should begin with a neurologist or possibly a psychiatrist.



Prader-Willi syndrome
-A congenital problem usually associated with mental retardation and difficult behavior problems. Chief symptom is an implacable drive to eat constantly that will not be denied.
-We have more information about Prader-Willi syndrome on another page in this site.



Pica
-A craving for non-food items such as dirt, clay, plaster, chalk, or paint chips.
-We have more information about pica on another page in this site.



Cyclic vomiting syndrome
-Cycles of frequent vomiting. Usually (but not always) a problem found in children.
-May be related to, or share neurological mechanisms with, migraine headaches.
-We have more information about cyclic vomiting syndrome on another page in this site.



Chewing and spitting
-The person puts food in his/her mouth, tastes it, chews it, and then spits it out.
-Some people believe this behavior is a separate eating disorder. It is not. It is a calorie-control strategy commonly seen in anorexia nervosa, and sometimes in bulimia and eating-disorder-not-otherwise-specified. The person is creative, allowing some experience and enjoyment of food but avoiding all but a few calories. Since essential nutrients are not incorporated into the body, chewing and spitting can be just as harmful to health as are starvation dieting and binge eating followed by purging.

Statistics: How many people have eating disorders?

Anorexia nervosa

Research suggests that about one percent (1%) of female adolescents have anorexia. That means that about one out of every one hundred young women between ten and twenty are starving themselves, sometimes to death. There do not seem to be reliable figures for younger children and older adults, but such cases, while they do occur, are not common.



Bulimia nervosa

Research suggests that about four percent (4%), or four out of one hundred, college-aged women have bulimia. About 50% of people who have been anorexic develop bulimia or bulimic patterns. Because people with bulimia are secretive, it is difficult to know how many older people are affected. Bulimia is rare in children.



Males with eating disorders

Only about 10% of people with anorexia and bulimia are male. This gender difference may reflect our society's different expectations for men and women. Men are supposed to be strong and powerful. They feel ashamed of skinny bodies and want to be big and powerful. Women, on the other hand, are supposed to be tiny, waif-like, and thin. They diet to lose weight, making themselves vulnerable to binge eating. Some develop rigid and compulsive overcontrol. Dieting and the resulting hunger are two of the most powerful eating disorders triggers known.



What age groups are affected?

Anorexia and bulimia affect primarily people in their teens and twenties, but studies report both disorders in children as young as six and individuals as old as seventy-six. As the Baby Boomers in the U.S. grow older, there seems to be an increase in the incidence of middle-aged women with anorexia and bulimia, possibly because this group has consistently considered image to be of major importance.



Overweight and obesity

Studies suggest that about sixty percent of adult Americans, both male and female, are overweight. About one third (34%) are obese, meaning that they are 20% or more above normal, healthy weight. Many of these people have binge eating disorder.

In addition, about 31 percent of American teenage girls and 28 percent of boys are somewhat overweight. An additional 15 percent of American teen girls and nearly 14 percent of teen boys are obese. (Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, January 2004) Causes include fast food, snacks with high sugar and fat content, little physical activity including use of automobiles, increased time spent in front of TV sets and computers, and a generally more sedentary lifestyles than slimmer peers.



Binge eating disorder

A recent study reported in Drugs and Therapy Perspectives reports that about one percent of women in the United States have binge eating disorder, as do thirty percent of women who seek treatment to lose weight. In other studies, up to two percent, or one to two million adults in the U.S., have problems with binge eating.



Eating disorders and substance abuse

About 72% of alcoholic women younger than 30 also have eating disorders. (Health magazine, Jan/Feb 2002). In addition, people with eating disorders often abuse prescription and recreational drugs, sometimes to numb themselves emotionally, to escape misery and depression, and sometimes in the service of weight loss.



What about compulsive exercising?

Because anorexia athletica is not a formal diagnosis, it has not been studied as rigorously as the official eating disorders. We have no idea how many people exercise compulsively.



Body dysmorphic disorder (includes muscle dysmorphic disorder)
BDD affects about two percent of people in the U.S. and strikes males and females equally, usually before age eighteen (70% of the time). Sufferers are excessively concerned about appearance, body shape, body size, weight, perceived lack of muscles, facial blemishes, and so forth. In some cases BDD can lead to steroid abuse, unnecessary plastic surgery, and even suicide. BDD is treatable and begins with an evaluation by a mental health care provider.



Subclinical eating disorders

We can only guess at the vast numbers of people who have subclinical or threshold eating disorders. They are too much preoccupied with food and weight. Their eating and weight control behaviors are not normal, but they are not disturbed enough to qualify for a formal diagnosis.



Eating disorders in Western and non-Western countries

In a study reported in Medscape's General Medicine 6(3) 2004, prevalence rates in Western countries for anorexia nervosa ranged from 0.1% to 5.7% in female subjects. Prevalence rates for bulimia nervosa ranged from 0% to 2.1% in males and from 0.3% to 7.3% in female subjects.

Prevalence rates in non-Western countries for bulimia nervosa ranged from 0.46% to 3.2% in female subjects. Studies of eating attitudes indicate abnormal eating attitudes in non-Western countries have been gradually increasing, presumably because of the influence, at least in part, of Western media: movies, TV shows, and magazines. Researchers conclude that the prevalence of eating disorders in non-Western countries is lower than that of Western countries, but it appears to be increasing.



Mortality and recovery rates

Without treatment, up to twenty percent (20%) of people with serious eating disorders die. With treatment, that number falls to two to three percent (2-3%). In 2005, Dr. Wright of the Eating Disorders Program at Presbyterian Hospital in Dallas, Texas indicated that the mortality rate for untreated anorexia nervosa may be even higher, up to 25 percent.
With treatment, about sixty percent (60%) of people with eating disorders recover. They maintain healthy weight. They eat a varied diet of normal foods and do not choose exclusively low-cal and non-fat items. They participate in friendships and romantic relationships. They create families and careers. Many say they feel they are stronger people and more insightful about life in general and themselves in particular than they would have been without the disorder.

In spite of treatment, about twenty percent (20%) of people with eating disorders make only partial recoveries. They remain too much focused on food and weight. They participate only superficially in friendships and romantic relationships. They may hold jobs but seldom have meaningful careers. Much of each paycheck goes to diet books, laxatives, jazzercise classes, and binge food.

The remaining twenty percent (20%) do not improve, even with treatment. They are seen repeatedly in emergency rooms, eating disorders programs, and mental health clinics. Their quietly desperate lives revolve around food and weight concerns, spiraling down into depression, loneliness, and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

Please note: The study of eating disorders is a relatively new field. We have no good information on the long-term recovery process. We do know that recovery usually takes a long time, perhaps on average five to seven years of slow progress that includes starts, stops, relapses, and ultimately movement in the direction of mental and physical health.

If you believe you are in the forty percent of people who do not recover from eating disorders, give yourself a break. Get into treatment and stay there. Give it all you have. You may surprise yourself and find you are in the sixty percent after all.



Miscellaneous statistics

From England: A 1998 survey done by Exeter University included 37,500 young women between twelve and fifteen. Over half (57.5%) listed appearance as the biggest concern in their lives. The same study indicated that 59% of the twelve and thirteen-year-old girls who suffered from low self-esteem were also dieting.

Dieting teens: More than half of teenaged girls are, or think they should be, on diets. They want to lose all or some of the forty pounds that females naturally gain between 8 and 14. About three percent of these teens go too far, becoming anorexic or bulimic.

Unrealistic expectations: Magazine pictures are electronically edited and airbrushed. Many entertainment celebrities are underweight, some anorexically so. How do we know what we should look like? It's hard. The table below compares average women in the U. S. with Barbie Doll and department store mannequins. It's not encouraging. (Health magazine, September 1997; and NEDIC, a Canadian eating disorders advocacy group)

Average woman


Height 5' 4"



Weight 145 lbs.



Dress size 11 -14



Bust 36 - 37"



Waist 29 - 31"



Hips 40 - 42"






Determining accurate statistics is difficult

Because physicians are not required to report eating disorders to a health agency, and because people with these problems tend to be secretive, denying that they even have a disorder, we have no way of knowing exactly how many people in this country are affected.

We can study small groups of people, determine how many of them are eating disordered, and then extrapolate to the general population. The numbers are usually given as percentages, and they are as close as we can get to an accurate estimate of the total number of people affected by eating disorders.

Now, that having been said, the journal Clinician Reviews [13(9]) 2003] estimates that each year about five million Americans are affected by an eating disorder. But there is disagreement.

The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders states that approximately eight million people in the U.S. have anorexia nervosa, bulimia, and related eating disorders. Eight million people represents about three percent (3%) of the total population. Put another way, according to ANAD, about three out of every one hundred people in this country eats in a way disordered enough to warrant treatment. If you want to know how they arrived at this number, e-mail their staff.

Eating disorders warning signs

Because everyone today seems concerned about weight, and because most people diet at least once in a while, it is hard to tell what is normal behavior and what is a problem that may escalate to threaten life and happiness. No one person will show all of the characteristics listed below, but people with eating disorders will manifest several.

In addition, the early stages of an eating disorder can be difficult to define. When does normative dieting become a health and emotional problem? When does weight loss cross the line and become pathological? Answering these questions is hard, especially when the person has not yet lost enough weight to qualify for a clinical diagnosis. Nevertheless, the questions are important. The sooner an eating disorder is treated, the easier it is for the person to recover. If warning signs and symptoms are allowed to persist until they become entrenched behaviors, the person may struggle for years before s/he can turn the problem around.



Food behaviors

The person skips meals, takes only tiny portions, will not eat in front of other people, eats in ritualistic ways, and mixes strange food combinations. May chew mouthfuls of food but spits them out before swallowing. Grocery shops and cooks for the entire household, but will not eat the tasty meals. Always has an excuse not to eat -- is not hungry, just ate with a friend, is feeling ill, is upset, and so forth.

Becomes "disgusted" with former favorite foods like red meat and desserts. Will eat only a few "safe" foods. Boasts about how healthy the meals s/he does consume are. Becomes a "vegetarian" but will not eat the necessary fats, oils, whole grains, and the denser fruits and veggies (such as sweet potatoes and avocados) required by true vegetarianism. Chooses primarily low-fat items with low levels of needed nutrients, foods such as lettuce, tomatoes, sprouts, and so forth.

Usually has a diet soda in hand. Drastically reduces or completely eliminates fat intake. Reads food labels religiously. If s/he breaks self-imposed rigid discipline and eats normal or large portions, excuses self from the table to vomit and get rid of the calories.

Or, in contrast to the above, the person gorges, usually in secret, emptying cupboards and refrigerator. May also buy special high-calorie binge food. If panicked about weight gain, may purge to get rid of the calories. May leave clues that suggest discovery is desired -- empty boxes, cans, and food packages; foul smelling bathrooms; running water to cover sounds of vomiting; excessive use of mouthwash and breath mints; and in some cases, containers of vomit poorly hidden that invite discovery.

Sometimes the person uses laxatives, diet pills, water pills, or "natural" products from health food stores to promote weight loss. May abuse alcohol or street drugs, sometimes to deaden appetite, sometimes to escape emotional pain, and usually in hopes of feeling better, at least temporarily.



Appearance and body image behaviors

The person loses, or tries to lose, weight. Has frantic fears of weight gain and obesity. Wears baggy clothes, sometimes in layers, to hide fat or hide emaciation and stay warm. Obsesses about clothing size. Complains that s/he is fat even though others truthfully say this is not so. S/he will not believe them.

Spends lots of time inspecting self in the mirror and usually finds something to criticize. Detests all or specific parts of the body, especially belly, thighs, and buttocks. Insists s/he cannot feel good about self unless s/he is thin, and s/he is never thin enough to satisfy her/himself.



Exercise behaviors

The person exercises excessively and compulsively. May tire easily, keeping up a harsh regimen only through sheer will power. As time passes, athletic performance suffers. Even so, s/he refuses to change excessively demanding routines.

May develop strange eating patterns, supposedly to enhance athletic performance. May consume sports drinks and supplements, but total calories are less than what an active lifestyle requires.

Up to five percent of high school girls and seven percent of middle-school girls have tried steroids in attempts to get bigger and stronger in sports and also to reduce body fat and control weight. Some say they don't mind gaining weight as long as it's muscle weight, not fat. Male abuse of steroids is also well documented. (Statistics provided by Charles Yesalis, professor of health and human development at Pennsylvania State University, 2005. Some studies show that steroid use in young people is even higher.)



Thoughts and beliefs

In spite of average or above-average intelligence, the person thinks in magical and simplistic ways, for example, "If I am thinner, I will feel better about myself." S/he loses the ability to think logically, evaluate reality objectively, and admit and correct undesirable consequences of choices and actions.

In spite of average or above-average intelligence, the person thinks in magical and simplistic ways, for example, "If I am thinner, I will feel better about myself." S/he loses the ability to think logically, evaluate reality objectively, and admit and correct undesirable consequences of choices and actions.

Becomes irrational and denies that anything is wrong. Argues with people who try to help, and then withdraws, sulks, or throws a tantrum. Wanting to be special, s/he becomes competitive. Strives to be the best, the smallest, the thinnest, and so forth.

Has trouble concentrating. Obsesses about food and weight and holds to rigid, perfectionistic standards for self and others.

Is envious of thin people in general and thinner people in particular. Seeks to emulate them.

Not all, but a subset of people with eating disorders think they do not deserve to eat or enjoy tasty food. They starve, stuff, or purge in deliberate attempts to punish themselves. They may also cut their flesh or otherwise hurt themselves. Some want to become increasingly debilitated, even suffer the indignities of tube feedings and IVs, and eventually weaken and die. They see this not as a cry for help or attention, or an attempt to control their lives, but as well-deserved punishment for misperceived flaws and misdeeds. Their extreme self-hatred must be dealt with in therapy if they are to recover.



Feelings

Has trouble talking about feelings, especially anger. Denies anger, saying something like, "Everything is OK. I am just tired and stressed." Escapes stress by turning to binge food, exercise, or anorexic rituals.

Becomes moody, irritable, cross, snappish, and touchy. Responds to confrontation and even low-intensity interactions with tears, tantrums, or withdrawal. Feels s/he does not fit in and therefore avoids friends and activities. Withdraws into self and feelings, becoming socially isolated.
Feels inadequate, fearful of not measuring up. Frequently experiences depression, anxiety, guilt, loneliness, and at times overwhelming emptiness, meaninglessness, hopelessness, and despair.



Self-harm and self-injury

In some people the above mentioned feelings are overwhelming, too many and too strong to be endured. To cope, to release the pain, to escape it, to distract themselves, some people hurt their bodies. They cut their flesh or burn it. They bang their heads or swallow foreign objects. They report that while they are engaged in self-harm, they experience peace, tranquility and calm -- a sense of being grounded after feeling tossed about by chaos and misery -- at least for a while, until stress and tension mount again.
In some cases, past trauma (especially sexual abuse) has been so devastating that all feelings have been numbed. Then the person self-injures in order to feel something, anything.

In spite of appearances, the person who self-injures is not consciously trying to commit suicide. Neither is s/he "only" seeking attention. Self-harm is frequently a symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder, a problem that often co-exists with an eating disorder. Treatment is available and can be combined with treatment for an eating disorder. Evaluation by a mental health care provider is essential. Since people who hurt themselves can inadvertantly create a medical crisis, sooner is better than later.



Social behaviors

Tries to please everyone and withdraws when this is not possible. Tries to take care of others when s/he is the person who needs care. May present self as needy and dependent or conversely as fiercely independent and rejecting of all attempts to help. Anorexics tend to avoid sexual activity. Bulimics may engage in casual or even promiscuous sex.

Person tries to control what and where the family eats. To the dismay of others, s/he consistently selects low-fat, low-sugar non-threatening -- and unappealing -- foods and restaurants that provide these "safe" items.
Relationships tend to be either superficial or dependent. Person craves true intimacy but at the same time is terrified of it. As in all other areas of life, anorexics tend to be rigidly controlling while bulimics have problems with lack of impulse control that can lead to rash and regrettable decisions about sex, money, stealing, commitments, careers, and all forms of social risk taking.



Other behaviors

Eating disorders frequently occur in combination with other problems. All of the following deserve professional attention in their own right. When they appear in the company of an eating disorder, the need for professional attention is even more urgent to prevent harm or death:

-Alcohol abuse
-Abuse of prescription medications (including insulin, Ritalin, and pain killers)
-Abuse of recreational drugs (speed, cocaine, steroids, diet pills, so-called club drugs, etc.)
-Abuse of laxatives and diuretics (water pills)
-Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
-Threats of suicide or suicide attempts
-Cutting, burning, hair pulling or other self-harm behaviors
-Rage attacks-Homicidal threats or attempts
-Stealing and other criminal acts

Any other behaviors that can logically be expected to bring harm to self or others.

A relatively recent development in eating disorders pathology is the use of illegal steroids by both males and females to help build muscle and improve shape. About 12 percent of adolescent boys and 8 percent of adolescent girls report using such a substance in the past year. About 4.7 percent of the boys and 1.6 percent of the girls say they use supplements to enhance their appearance once or more a week. These adolescents say they want to be toned and firm, like people in movies, TV or magazines, and they are willing to risk the health consequences of steroid abuse to achieve that look. In this study, nearly as many boys as girls had body-image concerns. (Field, Austin, Camargo, et al, Pediatrics, August 1, 2005)

Steroids, of course, have serious side effects including severe acne, smaller breasts in women, smaller genitalia in men, deeper, more masculine voices in women; irregular or absent menstrual periods; impaired fertility; excess facial hair; excess body hair; depression; paranoia; and out-of-proportion anger ('rhoid rage). Steroids can stunt the height of growing adolescents, and lead to premature heart attacks, strokes, liver tumors, kidney failure and serious psychiatric problems. In addition, because steroids are often injected, users risk contracting or transmitting HIV and hepatitis.



On a somber note, a few last thoughts

As you read through the thoughts and behaviors that suggest an eating disorder, you will see that many, if not stopped, can lead to permanent disability and even death. If you are not yet ready to give up these dangerous and unhealthy practices, please, for your sake and the sake of people who love you, write down on paper your wishes should something dire happen to you.

None of us, especially young people, like to think that we might die or slip into a permanent vegetative state because of our own behavior, yet that may be what happened to Terri Schiavo, an attractive and vibrant young wife with much to live for. In 1990 she suffered a heart attack, perhaps triggered by electrolyte imbalance (loss of potassium in particular) caused by purging. Her brain was without oxygen for several minutes leading to irreversible damage at the cellular level. Diagnostic images of her brain showed that areas that host consciousness, rational thought, awareness, and speech were structurally destroyed. All that remained was scar tissue and pools of cerebrospinal fluid. An autopsy done after her death in 2005 showed that during the years she was in a vegetative state, she was blind, and her brain had shrunk to about half the size of a normal, healthy brain.

Terri's family, and indeed the entire country, was torn apart by divisive rhetoric when her husband wanted to withdraw her feeding tube fifteen years after her heart attack and let her die with some dignity. We say "some" dignity because the media stripped much of her dignity away. We found it sadly ironic that pictures of someone who tried so desperately to achieve the cultural ideal of thin beauty were sent around the world via TV and the Internet. The pictures showed her after 15 years in a vegetative state with vacant eyes, a puffy face, chopped off hair, slack muscles, and mouth sagging open -- heart wrenching for all who loved her.

So, dear visitor to the ANRED Web site, please, if your want to spare yourself and your family a potential repeat of this conflict and media circus, write down what you want to happen if, God forbid, you fall into such circumstances. A living will or advance medical directive plus a medical power of attorney prepared by a lawyer is best. If you won't do that, download forms from the Internet, fill them out, sign them, and have your signature witnessed. Put the originals in a safe place where they will be found if something happens to you. Better yet, give copies to the people you want to know your wishes (doctor, parents, spouse, friends, etc.) in case of emergency. We hope the forms will never have to be used, but if worse comes to worst, you will still have a small measure of control.

3:50 AM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Chalk it up to bad parenting
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Life

Chalk it up to bad parenting


More often than not when I go out I am surrounded by kids of all ages with attitude problems, anger-management issues or just plain zero manners and respect for elders or society in general. Why you ask? Just chalk it up to bad parenting. The world is clearly in disarray and yah we are putting it in the hands of today's disaffected youth. As a kid I thought my dad was such a horrible person because he yelled at my siblings and I or plain out hit us. I thought he was a child-abuser, so mean, and actually thought I hated him at times. It wasn't until I became an adult that I realized he was merely utilizing his military background and a firm-hand to secure respect and provide good parenting in the chaos of life. In retrospect I actually respect the father he was to us four children who were each birthed about a year apart, husband to an uninvolved mother and wife who would rather read romance novels, and soul bread-winner for our household. It is today that I realize he actually had three full-time jobs and clearly did the best job he could with all three...father, husband, businessman...and a far better job than I or anyone else I know could do today. As a kid you believe adults are like superheroes and invincible. As an adult you sit and wonder how the fuck they did it all back then...guess maybe some really were superheroes.

So why my ranting about bad parenting? Maybe because we are breeding a world full of spoiled, bratty kids. It's sad that I can't do a damned thing about it as I'm not a parent and cannot be because of health reasons...guess I wouldn't mind meeting some of these stellar parents and beat the shit out of them. Trust me I'm far from a violent person, but I just absolutely have no patience or tolerance for ignorance or bad parenting. Some of my own siblings, relatives and friends have seceded parenting duties and allow their kids to rule their roosts. Shame on them! This is nothing personal and I'm not trying to piss anyone off here...but hello welcome to reality.

Let me just give you a preview into one particular night from hell and being subjected to today's fine youths, scholars and future leaders of our world. Luis and I went to the movies a couple of Friday's ago for a movie premier of Pulse...which by the way should have been rated R and not the mere PG rating it was given. In a nutshell, we couldn't even hear the previews let alone the movie itself over these loud-mouthed brats...mostly screaming little girls, chatty kathy's and slutty little girls vying for everyone's attention. I couldn't believe what was going on around me or the shit coming out of these pre- and pubescent teens mouths. What the hell are today's parents teaching at home? Or teachers for that matter? Obviously not manners, respect or appropriate public behavior. At least 10 different people throughout the entire theatre requested silence and consideration, including myself. I guess these kids left consideration at the door...that is if they were even taught it in the first place. Just one fine example of bad parenting at its best. The manager at the theatre basically said they won't do anything about it and have had this problem ongoing for quite some time...saying "kids will just be kids" and oh by the way "we won't kick any of them out because we are afraid they won't return". Excuse me? What the shit is that? I seriously had to refrain from going postal on his ass. What ever happened to setting an example and instilling respect and consideration in a public place? My friends and I would never have acted this way in a movie theatre or any public place for that matter, at any age growing up. Since when are adults afraid of children? Maybe throwing these brats over your knee and spanking them should be just what the doctor ordered. Not to go off on a tangent here, but since when are cartoons, ads and normal television programming inappropriate...the same us adults all grew up with? Let's stop the insanity and stop cow-towing and catering to these kids already. Let's start acting like adults...teaching respect and providing necessary discipline...and getting back to the standards of parenting that once were.

Yes there are some good kids with better parents out there...just so hard to find these days. For those parents out there who know what I'm talking about and are making a difference...keep up the good work!

6:49 PM - 10 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

the 37 rules to being a woman or man, compared
Current mood: chipper
Category: Romance and Relationships

The 37 rules for being a 'Woman'*

1.) It is ok for a Woman to cry under any circumstances, especially:
- if her boyfriend cheats or breaks up with her.
- when shes PMSing.
- while watching sad/happy movies.
- during certain tear-jerker commercials.
- when shes had a horrible day at work.
- if shes heard shes the latest gossip running in her circle of friends.

2.) A Woman is required to bring a camera to a bachelorette party cause her & the ladies look hot that night and want proof of their fun evening out.

3.) It is mandatory for a Woman to bail out a friend in trouble...under any and all circumstances, including jail...within 2 hours.

4.) If you've known a Woman for more than 24 hours, she is your instant best friend and her brother is prime pickings...aim is sister-in-law, not just gratuitous sex.

5.) Moaning about a girl-friend having only free beer in her fridge is acceptable. She should also have wine and fruity drink mixes in cupboard for such occasions.

6.) Women are required to buy birthday presents for their girl-friends. In fact, it is an insult if she forgets her birthday or doesnt make her day a special one.

7.) On a road trip, the weakest bladder determines pit stops, not the strongest.

8.) When stumbling upon other Women watching a sporting event, you may inquire about:
-the score
-the teams playing
-team colors or style of uniform
-the hottest guys from each team and if they are married
-the rules of the game if anyone knows themincluding if anyone even cares.

9.) It is always permissible to drink a fruity alcopop drink...any time, season or occasion.

10.) Kicking another Woman in the crotch is her main form of defensebring it on sister!

11.) It is considered sexy for a Woman to fight or wrestle naked or in mud. Wet t-shirts anyone?

12.) Friends don't let girl-friends beer goggle! Ugly men not allowed, under any circumstance.

13.) If a Woman's zipper is down and sans underwear, she has a wedgie, or unattractive camel-toe...please alert her immediately.

14.) Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as tomboys, bull-dikes or liars.

15.) A Woman in the company of a hot, sexy guy need remain sober or suffer guaranteed deflowering.

16.) Never reach for the last drink or the last slice of
pizza, be sure to be offered by hostess.

17.) It is mandatory to compliment a Woman on her hair, makeup, outfit, shoes and manicure/pedicure.

18.) Always join your girl-friends or husband in discussing a friend of yours...dishing the latest gossip is permissible and you always need to know where you stand within your circle of friends.

19.) Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another Woman while shopping:
- oh my god you look so fat in that
- wow I didnt realize your butt was so big
- Im going to buy that exact outfit

20.) Always talk to a Woman in a bathroom...you will learn:
-good makeup tips
-who the best hairdresser in town is
-where she bought that cute purse or outfit
-if you have toilet paper stuck on your shoe or sticking out your jeans

21.) Expect a telephone conversation with a Woman to last at least an hour...allow time for relationship checks and the latest gossip.

22.) The morning after you and a guy who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex and the fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is reason enough NOT to make this grave mistake once again...expect constant reminders from friends on this forbidden act and also expect to be shamed.

23.) There are plenty of reasons for Women to watch Women's Figure Skating or Women's Gymnastics:
-for the beauty of the sport
-to pick up some new dance moves
-to learn some sexy techniques for the bedroom

24.) When you are queried by a girl-friend's husband, boyfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you MUST provide any and all useful information as to her whereaboutsyou may even suspect foul play.

25.) You may exaggerate your personal details told to guys in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, any of your girl-friends within earshot are allowed to call 'BULLSHIT!' and laugh hysterically at you on your next trip to the ladies room.

26.) The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a girl-friend who's running late is 30 minutes. Expect delays up to an hour or more.

27.) Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot guy that your girl-friend is trying to hook up with is so not your moral duty. Cordiality is your only requirement and especially defense.

28.) It is never permissible under any circumstance to date a girl-friends ex.

29.) When a girl-friend helps you move, she is expected to stick around afterward to help you decorate.

30.) A Woman is expected to own a pet, preferably a cat with a silly name.

31.) When your boyfriend/husband expresses a desire to fix his buddy up with your hot friend, it is expected of you to be suspicious...is he hoping to hear gratuitous details about their sex...or is he vicariously living through his buddy and wishing to bump uglies with her himself?

32.) If a girl-friend is out-numbered, out-manned, or too drunk to just say no to those drunken suitors...yank her by the arm or hair if necessary out of therenever let a friend beer-goggle or become vulnerable to date or group rape!

33.) If a Woman is already singing along to a song in the car, you must join in for serious car karaoke fun...you are the latest girl group to hit the airways.

34.) Under all circumstances may two Women share an umbrella.

35.) When a girl-friend is trying to hook up, you may only sabotage if she is too drunk to make a rational decision or he is just plain too ugly and gets a thumbs-down from the group.

36.) Before allowing a drunken girl-friend to cheat on her guy, you must intervene at all costs...and hope she does the same for you should the occasion arise.

37.) You may under any circumstance kiss another Woman, even if you are straight. In fact men hope and pray you will, especially in their presence.



The 37 rules for being a 'Man'*
(not sure who the author is and my inspiration for rules to being a woman!)

1.) It is ok for a Man to cry under the following circumstances:
- When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
- The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
- After wrecking your boss' car.
- One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
- When she is using her teeth.

2.) Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.

3.) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

4.) If you've known a man for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

5.) Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friend's fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6.) No Man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your friend's birthday is strictly optional.

7.) On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

8.) When stumbling upon other men watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

9.) It is permissible to drink a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.

10.) Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another man in the crotch.

11.) Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

12.) Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

13.) If a Man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

14.) Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

15.) A Man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

16.) Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just mean.

17.) If you compliment a man on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

18.) Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

19.) Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another Man while lifting weights:
- Yeah, Baby, Push it!
- C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
- Another set and we can hit the showers!

20.) Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

21.) Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

22.) The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.

23.) There is no reason for guys to watch Men's Figure Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

24.) When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and
should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

25.) You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call 'BULLSHIT!'. Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent.

26.) The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe
scale.

27.) Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your moral duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

28.) Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.

29.) The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

30.) A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

31.) When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about
joining the priesthood.

32.) If a buddy is out-numbered, out-manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin.", then you may sit back and enjoy.

33.) If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.

34.) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

35.) When a buddy is trying to hook up, you may sabotage him only in a manner that gives you no chance of hooking up either.

36.) Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "F*** OFF!" You are absolved of your of
responsibility.

37.) Never, EVER slap or smack another Man

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