1245....kind of...estimated
Current mood: determined
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

1254
BISHOP ENGLAND.....
            So You wanna know, don’t You? Sometimes We all need a change and have to do everything We are afraid of doing. Fear and doubt is the worst thing we could beleive in. Heart and Passion is all that life is really based on. We can sit on the side and watch the game or we can get in the game and kick ass. Sure, or maybe get our ass kicked. But do you really want to just sit there and wonder. To never know and one day, when You lay on Your final place, to have traded all those moments for never having tried. To have not gotten in the game and said, "I am going to play".
 
BOSTON.....        
            Well, years ago I tried to play the game. I was good at the game but took some wrong turns and got involved with things and people I shouldn’t have. Or should I have? I was doing what I wanted and when I wanted and with who I wanted. I learned many things that parents and elders or teachers could never teach You. Of course I met some fabulous people also, some I am still great friends with. But I learned Things You must do to understand the nuances in life that only the lifestyle and the people could teach You. Things I use now, which I never dreamed I could use, to accomplish my way through this crazy life. It is everything I am now.
 
SUMMERVILLE/COLUMBIA/SURFSIDE/SUMMERVILLE       
           I, at a point, got out of that world. I then got into another world. A world of doing what was expected of me and what everyone thought I should do. Being a man and doing what a man is supposed to do. I had left behind the dreams of youth and became respectable. Well on the outside at least. On the inside I burned with a thousand flames that would engulf and smother the strongest and coolest of souls to crush them with Hell’s fury and fight. As anyone might do, It was either a choice of the same of what You were living or to explode into what You once dreamed could be You.
         
THE LAST PLACE....HEADED TO NYC
             Now, having rambled all of that you may ask, "Mark, what the hell are you talking about?" I am talking about going for it no matter who or what or how old or young you are. Whatever You might dream is right there looking back at You. It’s just a matter of saying I want it or saying You don’t anymore. I choose the "I want it" part. I have lived and felt like I have died in the process sometimes just to come back to life again. I am older....younger...had it all....lost it all.....wiser.....more stupid....happier...more sad...focused....out of control.....Every end of the emotional spectrum You can bounce back and forth I am living. Married...Divorced...Children who love me and know me...A Child who loves me and I hardly know...I love them all...Just in different ways.......Ex wives...Ex girlfriends.......Now a woman who I will be with for however long I still have in this fabulous place....My support and heart She is........

1254..............
             These are the days to make the move. To make decisions that will not only affect me but the people around me. I have a great deal of love and support in my life that I do appreciate. And I also appreciate the fact that many can not say that. We are all driven by different demons and forces. It is just a matter of how we allow ourselves to be driven. I will drive my demons and steer them to where I should be. NYC is waiting on me but still moving at a furious pace. It wants to embrace me and whisper into my ear, "I hope you have a good set of shoes on and a strong heart because if You don’t I will eat You alive and spit on what is left." Well, bring it on bitch. I will shove the apple right back down your throat.

DAMIEN PROJECT FILM WORKS......
              This is the reason for the move. It’s all about confidence and a belief that the music is that good. That the team is that good. That the talent is that good. Because it is. And Hey, If no one else thinks that way...........Screw it.....I can go to a Giants game.
                      WWW.SOUNDCLICK.COM/DAMIENPROJECT
           

11:02 AM - 1 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Poetry..Its been a long time
Current mood: depressed
Category: Life

Am I Just a Beautiful Dreamer

Going between My Day

and The day I wish It to be

I stand on the edge and stare into fright

sometimes I jump

other Days I hold tight

Is this where I wished to be

Not where I dreamed

Just a Beautiful Dreamer

standing on the shore of where I Believe

Trapped in the waves of madness

I need to jump to see what I need

But I am tied

Not as a Beautiful dreamer

But tied far away from make Believe

Needing to travel Far Away

To the land of Beautiful Dreamers

Who envision what They see

Not to be handled by others maddening thoughts

or to be dronwing in their reality

which can be my own

where no one can lay claim

where I make every thought a fact

and see what I percieve

I must be a Beautiful Dreamer

For without It I would Die

Not having lived My own madness

but instead having only a sorrowed life

A Beautiful Dreamer

Help me To leave

To See My Beautiful Dreams

To Share with You

Not to have them buried Away

8:02 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

The Sky Is Burning
Current mood: apathetic
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

The Sky is burning
collapsing in beautifully sad light
As my soul flashes through the flame
gasping for a breath of the heated strife

Falling failing to cool the torturing flight
diving endlessly earthward
feeling the pain of effortless anguish
knowing the light will burn out bright

For as I grasp the air
which gives nothing to the touch
in the lack of fire's oxygen
to never see the light

and now I settle in
knowing the flame will slowly die
as I feel the pressure mounting
trying to breath and cry for life

1:43 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

DONATE FOR A GOOD CAUSE
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Life

http://www.soundclick.com/Store/digital/01_Shop_Album.cfm?bandID=48904&albumID=147

IT'S FOR THE KIDS...IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND READ MY PAGE :)...ALL THE MONEY I MAKE GOES TO THE JDRF..THATS RIGHT ALL OF IT

7:20 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Closed Eyes
Current mood: distressed

It is time to close my eyes

what is there I will know

and there I will see you

not now but another day

and we shall embrace

and realize it all meant nothing

and with closed eyes

is how all should be

now shhhhhh don't say a word

It's ok really

just another dream to cast

we will all walk together

putting away the wasted worries of the past

taking other world steps

dancing like madmen

playing like children

praying like mothers

thinking like scholars

loving like Valentino

singing as a choir

we shall all sway into the warm forever breeze

some before others

but one day we all

dressed in only what you see

Now I close my eyes

and I will see you there

Just close your eyes

and you shall see

2:15 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Walls
Current mood: depressed

Darkness is where I see

the light is disappearing

 to understand what heart is

for  to feel the tearing of me

 in the fragile break of dawn

where we all see

but for some

 darkness leads you on

to close your eyes

 that is what you see

nothing is the answer

 where some wish to be

not to be disturbed by lies and confusion

 in the peace that darkness brings to me

3:10 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

MADNESS EYES
Current mood: lonely

I hear laughter
In the darkest times
I see sorrow
In the clearest skies
I see it all lying in pieces
There in your eyes

I feel the raindrops
Drenching me from a cloudless sky
I see the words
Even though the paper is empty
Staring at me
In the blindness
There in your eyes

I can feel the passion
Hiding in the coldest sighs
I can hear the children sing
Even as evil opens it eye
I can see the shadows reflection
There in your eyes

Can you see me standing
Remaining still but running
Chasing the elusive smiles
Cursing at the madmen
While staring at the sun
And finally in that moments madness…..
There in your eyes

5:04 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Walking On
Current mood: enthralled

I can feel it pushing me
gently from behind
not letting me go back to where I began
I need to find the boy I was
who is now a broken man
to become the man I need to be

I think of going to the town I was in
when I was a child and laughed
but the darkness was carried on the wind
and the laughter was so innocent
There is all i wish to be
and all i wish to do
but the pushing on my back so gently
allows me not to return
carrying me forward like the dark wind
of innocent laughter used to

So there comes a point
where we will never be the same again
where 1981 will never laugh again
where the rain will never feel the same again

But I gently feel the push
not letting me turn around
brushing the dark wind away
and lifting me to the thought......

I may not be able to go back
and the change is here
so now my today
is what We make of me

12:30 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Forever Waiting
Current mood: indescribable

while one smiles upon the gaze of love
another weeps beside the grave
some stand between the feel of both
as others smile and wave

its just what I have inside
that peels my soul away
I understand the waiting
but what price am I to pay

I give away my everything
which feeds on my emotion
now I sit alone in darkened ways
and begin to meld into the ocean

In a sense of maddening drowning
the waves come into my mind
like the words I have heard of promise
they just crawl so slow in time

I must lie upon the rocks
as the blood pours from my hands
I can do nothing but slowly lie and wait
and believe in you.......
believe you will bring me to land

5:03 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

just sitting
Current mood: drained

I sat down to write something
to say what I feel
but I sit here empty
I feel like I am sacrificing all
giving up all I have known
I want to run
I want to hide
I want to be in the open
and show all I hold inside
but I am scared...scared of the hurt
scared of it not happening
I do believe
I am only consumed by it all
and am changing to a life I want
but I am scared
I want the risk
I want the chance
I want the unconditional love
Is it there
I want it here
now...in the next second...yesterday
yes I am impatient
but I will wait
for I have no choice
You hold me and I can't run
My feet have gone
and my heart is in their place
it's all I can do
I will be here
and do as you wish
for I have no choice
Because you are all to me
and all I want

4:29 PM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment