Write it in a letter that says "Reborn".....

Lost in the silence of not knowing.  My problems built up and crumbled down ontop of me with bone crushing force.  If I sever my ties and walk alone, would it be worht it to be the only one I have?  To keep my mind at ease I think not of what these problems have become. But The more I sit alone, the more the problems sink in.  The further I fall into the spiral of not knowing what will happen, the more the future scares me.  The less I feel for others, strengthens the hate I hold inside.  To come reformed would mean to kill everything I hold so dear to me and let every promise I made become a lie.  But to hide in shelter means that I let all these things that haunt me become more real by the day.  I often wonder if she thinks of me and all the promises I made her...  I often wonder if she thinks of me at all.  What could have been if only the time was right and the circumstances were a little better.  I know that nothing can possibly change what has happened, I just wish I knew that as I sit here carving her name across my arm, that maybe she has my name in her mind.  There is more to this nightmare then anyone notices.  I cant do anything but wait, so I wait for something good to live for.  Can she still feel those butterflies, can she still feel them inside when Im near?  If there is no such comfort when Im there, then is it worth it?  If I cant let myself be happy now, then when?  All I have left are my thoughts an memories, but even they are staring to fade away.  My scars are some of the deepest and hardest to mend,  but nothing compares to the ones I have recently recieved.  Could I ever just forget it all together and untie the knots made?  If I was to, would I ever truely be happy?  Is this worth it, putting myself through these pains to be happy?  Is there truely happiness that waits for me in the end?  Is there anything that waits for me besides sorrow?  Can I ever truely be happy?  Is the story of my life as fucked up as I think?  Is this just a temporarything?  Or is this an end to a means?  Do I serve a purpose, or purposly serve?  Is this whats left behind in the ashes of this wake?  If I have much left at all, its the dream I wont fail and Ill see you again.  But if I do fail, I will let her know she will always be my one true love.  Never will I find another like her an always will she have my heart.....

                                                                                   Calvin Linn

                                                                                    "Follow Your Bliss"

11:41 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

FORSAKEN

Another sleepless night

Another violent fight

Why cant I end this life?

Lived too long in strife

Whats wrong today?

So easy to betray

Lost in this decay

Bound to nothing but a lie

Wishing I would die

Ill take one last breath

Waiting for my death

Why are you afraid of me?

Why do you fear me?

Death is now my only friend

And I will not pretend

That Im happy anymore

Im dead upon the floor

If I bled anymore

It would settle this score....

                                                                          Calvin Linn

                                                                        12-26-07

11:24 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

The greatest lie......

My love for you

Was all I needed

The love for someone who

Had come to you

my love was repeated

Whoever said love was the greatest gift

Was a fucking lie

Now I laugh in the face of love

Why did this love die?

Was it true in your heart?

Sometimes it gives me pause

Ill be there if you fall

But for now,

My heart is gone

My heart is dead

And so are you....

                                                                       Calvin Linn

                                                                      12-25-07

11:18 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

[Untitled]

Currently playing : God of War Release date: 08 September, 2006

10:38 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Declaration
Current mood: loved

Ciggaretts in my hand

Currently listening : The Sufferer & the Witness By Rise Against Release date: 04 July, 2006

10:36 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Betrayal
Current mood: loved
Category: Writing and Poetry

Currently listening : The Bird and the Worm By The Used Release date: 10 May, 2007

12:31 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Falling (into you)
Current mood: productive
Category: Romance and Relationships

I'm standing at the edge and I'm ready to fall

And as I'm looking down I see nothing at all

Falling hurt the most now

Because you weren't there

Giving me just one thought,

Of despair

So I'm back at the edge now

And I'm thinking of how

I never want to fall back,

into that hole

I dont ever want to see what,

What waits for me there

And so that gives me reason

To keep moving on

Hoping maybe one day

You'll be ready to fall...

                                                   Calvin Linn

                                                      2-16-07

You are my gaurdian angel

10:29 PM - 3 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

Real Love...
Current mood: good
Category: Romance and Relationships

Real love is, you

Real love is, me

Real love is all the things I thought would never be

Happiness, fears

Fighting and tears

Nothing I can give you now

Can amount to what you laid down

I have faltered and I've fallen

And now your vaoice is calling

So we've been apart for what seems like forever

But I'm here now waiting...

                                                  Calvin Linn

                                                    2-16-07

Currently listening : Don't You Fake It By The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus Release date: 18 July, 2006

10:14 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

I miss you.......
Current mood: loved

So Yea...........

 Always was

8:55 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

You....
Current mood: creative
Category: Romance and Relationships

Nothing quite compares

To the feelings I feel

When I'm with you

Happiness and joy

Two things that I've known,

But never this degree.

Something in your soul,

Makes me feel at home,

And something in your eyes,

Makes me alive.

Beauty, is something I have seen

But never in the way you've showed

Everything about you,

Makes me not want to be without you.

And nothing in this world can change my mind.

                                                                        Calvin Linn

                                                                          2-10-07

 Love, Peace, and Heartagrams

Currently listening : Gutter Phenomenon By Every Time I Die Release date: 23 August, 2005

7:07 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment