"Love Like" by Shihan
Current mood: indifferent
Category: Writing and Poetry

Def Poetry Season 1
"Shihan"

"I want a love like, me thinking of you, thinking of me, thinking of you type love or,
Me telling my friends more than I have ever admitted to myself about how I feel about you type love or,
Hating how jealous you are but loving how you want me all to yourself type love or,
Seeing how your first name just sounds so good next to my last name
Shit, I wanted to see how far I could get without calling you and I barely made it out of my garage.
See, I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep then wonder if she's dreaming about us being in love type love or,
Who loves the other more or,
What she's doing at this exact moment or,
Slow dancing in the middle our apartment to the music of our hearts and closing eyes and imagining how a love so good could just hurt so bad when she's not there and,
Shit, I love not knowing where this love is headed type love.
And check this: I wanna place those little post-it notes all around the house so she never forgets how much I love her type love and,
Not having enough ink in my pen to write all there is to lve about her type love and,
Hope I make her feel as good as she makes me feel and,
I wanna deal with my friends making fun of me the way I made fun of them when they went through the same kind of love type love.
Only difference is, this is one of those real love type loves.
And just like in high school, I wanna spend hours on the phone not saying shit, and then fall asleep and then wake up with her right next to me and smell her all up in my covers type love and,
I wanna try to count the ways I love her and lose count in the middle just so I can start all over again and,
I wanna celebrate one of those one month anniversaries, even though they ain't really anniversaries, but doing it just because it makes her happy type love and,
Check this: I wanna fall in love with the melody the phone plays when her numbers dial,
Answer it and talk to her until I lose my breath.
She leaves me breathless but with the expanding of my lungs I, inhale all of her back into me.
I want a love that makes me need to change my cell phone calling plan to something that allows me to talk to her longer because in all honesty, I wanna avoid one of those high cell phone bill type loves.
I want a love that make me regret how small my hands are.
I mean the lines on my palm don't give me enough time to love you as long as I'd like to type love and,
I want a love that makes me st-st-stutter just thinking about how strong this love is type love and,
I want a love that makes me wanna cut off all my hair... well, maybe not all of my hair. Maybe I shape up the rough spots and trim my moustache but it would still be a symbol of my feelings for her.
Your goona think this is crazy but I even be fantasizing about walking out on a green light just dying to get hit by a car so I can lose my memory, get transported to some third world country just to get treated, somehow meet up with you so I can fall in love with you in a different language and see if it still feels the same type love.
I want a love that's as unexplainable as she is."

3:29 PM - 8 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Conclusion
Current mood: thankful

The fear of The Creator is the beginning of understanding, knowledge and wisdom. Today I have reached one of the most amazing conclusions of my short life; however, I did not reach this conclusion alone. Reuben Abel author of Man is the Measure, discusses several topics, one of the more interesting ones being Mind and Body. In this chapter he writes about how the mind and body are separate yet work together as if to compromise. Mind you this book has nothing to do with religion but is rather "A Cordial Invitation to the Central Problems of Philosophy". Anyway some how, at some point I related what Abel was saying, to God, The Holy Spirit, and Jesus each separate yet one. How is that possible? Well, that union or system is the same as our Mind, Soul, and Body, each separate yet one. The only difference between The Creator and ourselves is that we can not separate the three. Remember that God created us in his image. Our Minds are powerful beyond belief, at times we are able to will things to happen, for example a dying patient who has "given up" is much more likely to die than one who continues to believe that he/she will get better. No, we can't will things into existence but where not far off. Our souls act as guidance attempting to lead us down a "righteous path" and our bodies are the "temples" that harbor our souls, but often fall to temptation.

Those of you who know me well may or may not remember a time when I questioned The Creator. He toke my brother away from this Earth and deeply wounded my familys moral for many years. I was always taught that God was someone you were to worship because he died, so that I could go to heaven. This idea just didn't make sense to me. "I never asked God to die for me, so why should I worship something I can't see, or hear"? "Why should I follow these stupid looking rules?" It wasn't until I began to read the Bible for myself that I realized that The Creator was more than "a thing ". He was and is all knowing. He was the answer to my questions, a true beacon of light. Like I always say "I know a little bit about a little bit", but in time I know that that little bit will multiply, and I will grow spiritually and mentally. I thank the Creator for each day that I internally struggle. So often I find my self needing guidance and the "lack" of immediate response from The Creator is very hard to deal with sometimes but I know that eventually everything will workout for the best and I'll be a stronger man because of it. Amen

5:53 PM - 8 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

"She's Never Meet Sorrow"
Current mood: anxious
Category: Writing and Poetry

A gaze into the shallows of her soul through an eye that has never meet sorrow 
An eye thats never meet sorrow is a soul without depth 
A smile and demeanor as naive as a clear sky thats never been burdened with storm.
Thoughts so tender, yet deeply rooted in the canals of a fickle mind 
An individual with the potential of a seed on an African plain 
When her eyes meet sorrow and tears pour like the rain  
That seed must mature   
That seed will blossom and reveal its truest self

-DAV

3:27 PM - 10 Comments - 13 Kudos - Add Comment

"LOST"
Current mood: confused
Category: Writing and Poetry

 Have you ever felt lost, or maybe misplaced, misunderstood and just can't seem to understand. Every so often I just think I was born during the wrong phase, like Im not suppose to be here. Maybe born later or possibly a little before. My thoughts , too abstract and reality too concrete. Mind and body  displaced when they should be on one accord. Hearing nothing but chaos, I see things but can't comprehend. Confused but wanting to understand while aimlessly walking through space, on path that I didn't  choose. Hesitant to take the next step or make the next move. I can't help but sit and wonder why, ask questions that most can't answer. I ought to end this with one more thought but Im lost.

7:34 PM - 6 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

Politics...?
Current mood: relaxed

Its been a few weeks since I've written a blog. I suppose you could say I've had a writers block or just a lack of inspiration, but recently I was watching TV or better yet attempting to watch TV and could not find a decent show to watch because of all the political shows that were on. Shows like Face the Nation and all that other pointless DEBATING paraphernalia. So then I began to think, "politics is pointless". People waste so much time arguing about the best solution to the point where nothing gets done. The big topic of the hour is debated over for a year and then kicked to the side, when something better comes along, only to become the principal topic ten years later. Most political parties don't have a decent solution anyway at least not one that most can agree on; because of individuals who are concerned about they're own well being rather than the good of the nation. Everybody knows that the rich run the government, what would they know about minimum wage and the benefits and consequences of welfare. They can't imagine being an immigrant with nothing to lose and the world to gain. I believe that the government that governs least is the best thing sense sliced bread but don't miss understand me Im not bashing the form of government that we share Im saying that its interests are not of the people of whom the government is suppose to protect and serve. I understand that government is necessary to ensure order and that some natural rights must be given up to provide the order of a multitude, but when the government fails to do its job, well then its time to reform. In reality the people have no power. In order to bring about change in the government one has to devote his /her entire life to the cause and probably won't live to see the change. "Liberty" should be taken out of the English language, there's no freedom in life, and everything is limited. If you think youre free in America or anywhere on Earth for that matter then your sadly mistaken. Give me liberty or give me death". You might as well commit suicide because death is the most emancipated state you will ever know.

6:14 AM - 9 Comments - 13 Kudos - Add Comment

"Man is the Measure"
Current mood: contemplative

As I begin to prepare for college I've been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I know college is my only option because I can't image a future without an education. According to the majority of the world you cannot be "content" without money; or so Im lead to believe. I've also realized that I know very little about the world around me. The world is too big and too complex to attempt to understand. At times I feel like Im trapped in place of secrets and lies, I don't know what or who to believe or who to trust. There has to be more to life than what Im exposed to on a day-to-day basis; more than living from pay check to pay check, more than going to school, and more than listening to rich white men tell my parents how to live and whats important in life. Is life how you live or what you live for? How should a man be measured? Should his wealth or his character be his scale? If his character is more important why is the greedy CEO more important and respected than the janitor who dedicates his life to volunteering at the local homeless shelter? I know there is more to life than book knowledge and paper currency but I don't know where to find it. Where do I go if I want to escape from these ideas and live by my own standards; the standards laid before me by God?  

Recently I've realized that who I am today is an inverted reflection of what I was too afraid to be yesterday. I don't run the streets because Im too afraid of the consequences, Im quiet because Im too afraid to speak out, Im a Christian because Im too afraid of being wrong, Im black because Im afraid of being white, and the indiscernible idea of superiority that comes with it. Fear is what controls us and keeps us in our place. The consequences are what keep us under control and afraid to speak out against injustice, and corruption. Its this same fear that makes earthly riches more valuable than heavenly bodies, and the lifes true values.  

4:33 PM - 6 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

N.I.G.G.A
Current mood: annoyed

You can't go a day without hearing afro-Americans referring to one another or them-selves as a "NIGGA", whether its said in the hallways, lunch table, on the radio or TV. What I don't understand is how and when NIGGA was transformed from an insult to a term of endearment. Personally I hate the word and do not use it. I've heard that NIGGA is not offense when used among blacks, yet both NIGGA and NIGGER are offense when used among whites. How much sense does that make to you? NIGGA is apparently a term to be used among blacks similar to the references such as "dude" or "guy".

  I honestly don't see the contrast between nigger and nigga other than vernacular. How often do u hear people say brother or mother? In every day language we say "brotha" or "muva". People haven't changed that much in 50 years, they were just as lackluster as we are today; I'm positive that they were just as lazy when it came to annunciating or simply to ignorant to know how to say the word to begin with.

After reading a little about the origins of the word nigger I found that it was not originally a word meant to insult people of color, but simply to describe their color. Nigger stems from several words of other languages including Latin, Greek, Spanish, and other European languages meaning black or dark skinned; however the meaning of the word became an insult and still is whether we realize it or not. You don't see whites walking around calling themselves "crackers" or " white trash", do you?

Banning the word from the mouths of whites doesn't make it less powerful but more powerful when they do decide to use it.

SO LETS JUST STOP CALLING EACH OTHER niggas.

I RESPONDED  TO SOME OF THE COMMENTS AND HERES WHAT I SAID. ( MOST PEOPLE MADE VERY GOOD POINTS) ( you should read them )

RESPONSE #1 ( TO KISH)

4:13 PM - 11 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

THE BLACK PLAGUE
Current mood: annoyed

I'm upset with the leadership in the African American community. They all have an opinion. They all think they know what the problem is and why, as a race we are having such a hard time advancing, and bridging the gap between ourselves and other races; however, I have not yet read or heard a realistic solution to the problem. Anyone can pose a question but our questions need answers. The excuses of many, for the failure of our race are the after effect of slavery, racism, and oppression. I agree that slavery and the other factors have had a large impact on our current state; however, I also realize that we cannot continue to rely on this fact of history as an excuse to remain where we are. We do not need sympathy (reparations). Asking for reparations from a country built on free labor is not going to have much of an effect. Economics is not a major issue. Since when have we as a people had money? It was when we were dependent on one another that we achieved the most. It was the unity with in the community that kept us alive, provided motivation, and support. Somewhere in recent history the expectations of our people fell. The low expectation level has been passed on from one generation to the next and has created a high level of ignorance. The high level of ignorance has allowed us to be absorbed into to America's materialistic society; as a result, we are unable to generate wealth. Ignorance, the lack of education and the motivation to become educated are the factors that have kept us in such a slum. We need to reach out to those who are not aware of their ignorance; ignorance is not bliss. The solution is to educate and educate in masses. Education is the only way we can hope to become a prominent race rather than a joke.   

5:25 PM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

white? black? slavery?
Current mood: sleepy

As an African American I often hear history teachers, and english teachers discuss slavery in class. I don't have a problem listening to the comments that people make, or feel uncomfortable discussing the "effects" of slavery and the events that took place during this time; however, I have always wondered how "whites" feel about slavery. How do they feel when it is dicussed in class.

Don't leave any ignorant comments

5:36 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE ( CHAOS OR COMMUNITY )
Current mood: curious
Category: News and Politics

So, I went somewhere today and the speaker was focusing on the state of the African American community and the world in general. He brought up some interesting points and I began to wonder and have decided to ask a question directed toward any who will respond. " Where do we go from here? after the of civil rights movement and struggle for equality, after becoming recognized as a people and not as slaves, and after demoralizing ourselves through black-on-black crime, ignorance, drug abuse, and the hatred of each other.

"Where do we go from here"? Please comment.

5:55 PM - 6 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment