Happier than a dog with two, er, tails.
Category: News and Politics

McSame has officially succumbed to the "tail wagging the dog" effect, but with two tails.

Obama's campaign forced him to pick a woman veep, hoping to skim Hillary voters off the Dem's rolls, and the conservative wing of the GOP forced him to pick a pro-life candidate, abandoning his friend Joe Lieberman.

I guess when you've got nothing up your sleeve, this is how you, uh, win (?) an election.

7:14 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Who Would Raise Your Taxes?
Current mood: betrayed
Category: News and Politics

Which of these candidates would raise your taxes?  McCain says Obama would, and Obama says McCain would.  So who is telling the truth?  Neither.  Congress raises taxes. 

So you could say they were both lying.

But to wax philosophicaly for a moment, I believe you can say that George W. Bush will be the one to raise your taxes, or more precisely, that he already has. 

We already owe the money.  When Bush stepped into the oval office the country had a surplus, and now, through his leadership, we have a tragic deficit.  The bill is coming in the mail.

When you run your credit card up to the max, you don't blame the bank when the bill comes. 

2:21 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

From an Airplane
Category: Writing and Poetry

From thirty thousand feet
the earth does not resemble a map.

Colors run from black or brown
to shades of green from sage to emerald.

There are no dashed or solid lines of demarcation.
The states don't show up as simply blue or red.

You know that there are walls and fences below you,
but they are such meager attempts at ownership
as to be invisible to the eye from this height.

Up here, you see no states or counties,
no townships or villages.

You realize that the map is not
an aid to navigation.
No, in the geo political game
the map is but a scorecard,
a way to measure who is ahead this week
in this game we call possession.

The other animals know the truth,
scoff at our pretensions.

Try to get your dog to stay in the yard untethered.
Try to keep the neighbors cat from shitting in your petunias.

2:16 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Won’t You Please Come To Chicago?
Category: Writing and Poetry

Members from The Guild of Outsider Writers will be reading in Chicago, at Quimby's Bookstore on Saturday evening, August 23'rd and at The Green Mill on Sunday, August 24'th.

Justin Hyde, the winner of OW's recent book contest, will be reading as well as OW members Cicily Janus and David Blaine

Quimby's is at 1854 W. North Ave. The Green Mill is at 4802 N. Broadway
Events begin at 7:00 PM each night.

Would love to see you there. Quimby's is for all ages. The Green Mill is over 21 only.

7:28 AM - 8 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Six Word Memoirs
Category: Writing and Poetry

Hat tip to Urbis.Com and SMITH Magazine. 

Write your memoirs in six words.  Enter the contest by joining (free) Urbis.Com

or just chime in for fun with a reply here.

Ready?  Go:

"Still crazy after all these years."

1:38 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Getting What You Deserve
Category: News and Politics

For the holiday you're going to get a triple play.

1. What the hell is the media jumping on Obama about? Flip Flop on Iraq? He has always said we need to wrap it up and come home, ever since he said we should have never gone in the first place. Contrast this with McCain's hundred years and his support of Bush's stated intention to bomb Iran. Then do what you have to do. I will say this, if you want a president who states his intention and then never varies from it, no matter what new info comes into play, then you must love the president we've had for the past eight years. Might as well vote for McBush.

2. A friend just bought a Smart car. It has a three cylinder gas engine and gets about 48 miles to the gallon. But he said he couldn't buy the Smart car with the two cylinder diesel engine, the Smart car that gets up to 80 MPG. Why? It doesn't pass our US emission standards. (But it passes Canada's) What's smart about that? This makes me wonder if the oil industry, excuse me, I mean the government, really wants us to use less oil.

3. Which leads me to three. Did you notice that Bush made peace with North Korea last week? Wow, what an accomplishment. According to Colin Powell, we could have had this deal three years ago. Did you notice what his first order of business was, once Bush announced that we could now do business with North Korea? He sold them fuel. Hmmm. Seems the oil industry, er, I mean the government, will be keeping its priorities straight, right up until next January.

Follow the money, folks. Or you'll be getting hosed again. And again.

5:13 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

BS Mentality
Category: Writing and Poetry

The neighbor's car has a bumper sticker:

My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter

Do the ritually religious
even attend grammar school?

Jesus wasn't a woodsmith
but a wordsmith   

and he's always been misunderstood,
I mean Golgotha—
that was a tough crowd.

I am the way, the truth and the life.

Metaphor.  

What Christ needed
was more concrete imagery

like the son of man…now that must have pissed his mother off.

Joseph probably grinned his best "that's my boy" grin
then caught an elbow in the ribs and that "you're not getting any tonight" look
From Mary.

(Does the "you're not getting any tonight" look work when you haven't gotten any for—
ever?)

The literal minded are blind.  Loaves and fishes, more metaphor.

Feed a man a fish and the food is finito.  

Feed him on words and he can eat,
again and again,
then pass them on.

Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers…

My neighbor peels the backing from a brand new bumper sticker
pasting it firmly around his ears
and over his eyes.

6:49 AM - 19 Comments - 20 Kudos - Add Comment

Ransom Note
Category: News and Politics

We (  )

Have your summer.
If you ever want to see your vacation again, put

$4.00 per gallon in a plain  brown envelope and mail it to 1600 Pensylvania Avenue, Washington, d.c.

4:38 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Virus puked my puter.

Perhaps you read my bulletin.  I got a trojan horse/virus the other night.  I had to reboot my computer with the recovery disk I made when it was new.  (By the way, if you skip that step, you're crazy!)  I didn't lose vital things like my pictures or my writing, but I did lose many of my email contacts, favorite website addys and so forth.  Thankfully I use G-Mail, so I can go back online and recover much of my corespondance.  The pain in the ass is re-installing all the programs I use day to day.  Some I need to download again, find my registration codes, etc.

Later,

Dave

4:53 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

won’t you come to my house for supper
Category: Writing and Poetry

won't you come to my house for supper

my medley of maize and Jacob's Cattle beans

they're a sweet bean
maroon and white

sounds exotic
like the roar from my truck's V-10

in Sudan the children are starving
while we're turning food into oil

i'm getting eight miles per baby this week

what time can I pick you up?

5:54 AM - 10 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment