Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Rosanne Cash - The Wheel Current mood: contemplative Category: Religion and Philosophy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVy8kSUl520 Rosanne Cash The Wheel (C) 1993 SONY BMG MUSIC ENTERTAINMENT One of my all-time favorites. I looked for it tonight because a recent contact touched my soul in a mystic way. This video seems to resonate with emotions that I'm dealing with now. I'm the eternal fool on the Merry Go Round of Life and Love, the only game where if one loses, everyone loses and if one wins, we all win. 10:11 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Thursday, September 27, 2007

on the road again? Current mood: contemplative wonderlust, wanderwhy - what's next - anyone (meaning hippie chick) want to move to New Mexico, camp in a tent/schoolbus, build a strawbale hut, hike Carson NF, collect rocks, hang out in Taos, write, draw, play - get in touch with the Ancients (both native and extra-terrestrial)?  I'm getting that fever again - it happens when I try to live in a structured, concrete environment for any length of time, exposed for too long to contemporary culture (banal, mundane -am I bored or just clincally depressed?:).  I saw an old poster advertising a commune in Taos based on free love, natural medicine etc.. the commune was short-lived and I wondered looking at the poster (6 guys and 1 gal) if maybe that part of the problem was a hell of alot more men coming for free-love than women.  A friend commented a photo from my family reunion in E. TN in regards to the absence of men and I sent them a personal reply with my backwoods/country humor that it only takes one rooster in a hen-house.  On a serious note, I do love New Mexico and the Taos area in particular and I've been talking about buying a small piece of property that borders BLM/National forest.  (if for no other reason than to have a reason to think about moving there).  This time of year is my favorite anywhere but when you wander around the Enchanted Circle or head out to Ghost Ranch it's easy to see why people like D.H. Lawrence, Georgia O'Keefe, John Nichols and other artists and writers were drawn here.  I sat on Kit Carson's grave one beautiful Oct. day several years ago and thought about my hero Geronimo and the Taos Pueblo today with it's casino, watching two red tail hawks circling above me - no insights, nothing but a joyful sense of existence (I'm refering to me, I don't know what the hawks were thinking). When they swooped out of sight, I headed off to the closest cantina driven by a sudden craving for carne asada:)) Anyway, I'm still contemplating escape into the mystery of the past on a pauper's budget with a dharma bum attitude "yab-yum") - any takers? backers? back-packers? Talk me into it - out of it - offer me sedatives - free advice...lol 1:38 AM - 7 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Monday, April 09, 2007

lovelife - love life... Current mood: flirty Category: Romance and Relationships I don't know why but there is nothing in my life that moves me as much as a curve... dangerous curves (my favorite roadsign).  Women, guitars, sailboats, storm clouds, mountain streams, steam engines, horses, wheels and deals rollin' down a highway through the night as the beautiful curves of the earth deliniate the landscape of the starscape spinning and Dali's melting clocks - I'm drawn time and time again into the movement and feel, the heartbeat of life, the tick, tock amourous amorphous flow between positive and negative, through the neutral zone - man/woman/space between - the similarities are easily recognizable and for better or worse, the dynamics that move me along the curve, tangents and transients - keep me ever the gypsy - never satisfied to linger for long at any single point with one of my loves - maybe movement is my true love - to touch a string, hear the note as something linear is set into motion a curve is drawn and soon fades, to keep the movement, touch flowing, a melody is embraced but the song is never quite the same no matter how many times that I play it.  -  Hopefully there will always be something, someone to throw me a curve, strike my fancy as long as I'm here - I want to play...  10:23 PM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Monday, April 03, 2006

myspace pearls... Current mood: enthralled I think anyone who loves talent, honesty and insightful, powerful writing would benefit from going to www.myspace.com/terrylynn and reading her blogs and listening to her music - I wrote this in response to one of her blogs. Just another child of the Great Santini, another young marine shell-shocked from VietNam with the eyes of a child who sees freedom in the chaos, searching for the sweet abyss, peace and love lost in a purple haze of LSD, then running down fast on Crystal Meth, through a maze of religious orders - self denial, and looking at the grey haired dude staring out of my mirror I wonder at the wanderer who laughs at the past and surrenders to the mystery of fractal lines carved around the eyes, where tears have left tracks, like a train, not knowing which way they've gone. PTSD - attachment to the past - missing precious moments of now as I relive the worst nightmares of my life - why??? Thank-you for sharing your gifts - Burdens shared are often lighter and as we lighten up (Pain That's Shared Disappears).

2:32 AM - 10 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Twisted Views
Current mood: thoughtful

It seems somehow sad and strangely twisted how society perpetuates what seems to me to be a very warped and inhumane sense of right and wrong when dealing with natural human instincts of survival.  Children are supposed to be protected from any sexual point of reference - explicit romantic encounters are rated X yet it is ok for them to watch violence, death and destruction in daily doses.  It appears to me that a message is being sent to make us ashamed of ourselves, how we got here, the natural urges that drive us and to make us immune to the suffering and destruction of war and disaster.  I hate the concept "conceived in sin"  My parents were celebrating love and life when I was conceived...  Another concept that I hate is "destroy the Godless"  seems like an idea that only the Godless would embrace.  Some people that I've met and visited with seem to get a strange sense of satisfaction that they will earn a place in Heaven because of denying themselves pleasure here and they resent people who do enjoy the sensual experiences of life so much that they rejoice in the thought that "those people" will burn endlessly in HELL...  well, hell, it seems to me that someone who would be happy about anyone being in hell sure doesn't belong in Heaven.  I encountered alot of these "fundamental" (neither fun nor mental actually) concepts from people proclaiming themselves "Christian" while I was living in Colorado Springs - there are groups there who are the taliban counterpart of "Christianity"  The coolest response that I saw to what appeared to be a majority attitude in the northern part of the area was a billboard that read "love thy neighbor as thyself...I meant that one... signed GOD"....Maybe these implied messages in our society are one way to get individuals to band together as groups to follow a course of action hell bent on destroying the biological life and freedom of the planet in exchange for becoming robotic and building a technoland/sterile/purely intellectual (the Matrix?) -  Personally, I enjoy this physical body for all it's frailties and the pleasure of loving and appreciating the opposite sex (Thank God/Goddess/Nature/Spirit for Women - viva la differance) has made life worth living.  Once again, I'm just ramblin' and if you happen to read this and get anything out of it...great - if not...great.  I'm not religious or patriotic - I do feel a strong connection to the spirit of this planet that I'm a child of and my loyalty is to life and freedom.  It appears to me, that Divinity is expressed in the creation and movement between polarities (actually a triad - the holi trinity ..positive, negative and neutral) yet religious/political organizations seem to depend upon creating dualities under rule (can you imagine the insanity of deciding that the negative pole of a battery is bad so we on the positive side must destroy it...if we succeed we end up with a dead battery - oops, we're a part of that battery) 

2:18 AM - 3 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

myspace friends
Current mood: grateful

The eclectic group of artists and fans that I find on myspace are facinating and each of you someone that I think I would enjoy meeting and hangin' with.  Some of you I expect to meet and hope to get a chance to hear and even to work with.  Some of you I already have had this opportunity and look forward to continued growth together.  This is an awesome internet community and it is understandable that the growth has been phenomenal.  From novice to professional and those who appreciate the gift of communication through words and music we can find many opportunities here for encouragement, support and love - it is fun to meet people from all over the world who share a love of music and art and to those of you who set up sites for artists who are no longer living, I appreciate that as someone who has sometimes walked on the paths that they paved and explored unpaved roads based on their encouragement.  From the traditionalists to experimental and everything inbetween - there's a time a place and I like it all - I appreciate this experience as individuals sharing their true humanity - the good, bad, ugly and sublime - we are all exposed and elevated by the experience in many ways.  At least, this is what I'm feeling now.

3:12 AM - 11 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Houses & Stuff or maybe Freedom & Fear?
Current mood: contemplative

I mentioned in my bio that I had lived in mansions on the hill and under bridges by the road - The reality is that I live in the stars.  I've had all kinds of boxes as shelters from the storm but the larger the box the more isolated I became and life became a movement of search for stuff to fill the space and frustration as the space became too small - when you're all wrapped up in yourself  you make a pretty small package or I'm not much but I'm all I think about... distractions from that emptiness inside and too much was never enough.  Oddly enough, when I was under the bridge, there was a kid there who had never had any guidance from someone who cared and I wasn't alone and he helped me out of myself by being there for me to help him.  Oscar Wilde once wrote "We're all living in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars".  The Egyptian rulers in their fear of death and the unknown and with a certain pompass pride enslaved masses to build a box that would immortalize them and contain all their worldly possessions (including slaves) - guess they never heard "you can't take it with you when you go".  I was living on an old wooden sailboat down in Texas near NASA in a marina filled with very large yachts.  A friend of mine who was visiting, asked me who I thought the most insecure man in the marina was.  She answered her own question "The man who owns the largest, most expensive boat".  A criminal is never free from fear, a true outlaw faces his every moment and recognizes the teacher of freedom.  Freedom to have and to let go - to enjoy without saying "mine" and to find self esteem inside by authentic response and action, not self-worth by acquisition of things which of themselves have no value - one of the Greatful Dead songs "hard to run with the weight of gold ... just as hard to run with the weight of lead".  When I step outside my "box" I find that I live in a palace of unmeasuable dimension and beauty that changes constantly with decorations far beyond my imagination and that includes the wonders of music and art and literature here to enjoy without claiming as my own or limiting the experience with frustrated desires.  When I say "where I stand is liberated ground" I mean that the law of love is not restricted by the laws of man and cannot be legislated or controlled.  Fear - give me a king or leader to blame and a false promise of security and I will follow blindly, like a lemming until the end.  Freedom, to enjoy space and shelter for what they are but more-so, for me, to enjoy people.  I found more sense of community in the poorest areas that I've stayed in and some of the loneliest people in the most opulent settings.  My uncle was a very wealthy man with property that he never saw.  He spent his life isolated in his unbending quest for more power, a blind victim of greed who never even enjoyed his wonderful wife and children - I don't doubt that he cared for them - he provided very well on a mundane level.  Unfortunately, he couldn't afford the time with all his weath, to just hang, play and listen and really get to know the people around him.  We are a very affluent society but in ways, drowning in the effluence of materialism.  It is strange how natural disasters can bring people out of their shell or box to share and help each other.  I'm not really writing this thinking that it will even be read, but if someone does read it, hopefully they will understand some of my ramblings and get a sense of how where I've been affects who I am now.  I am comfortable in a mansion today and just as comfortable in a motel room, but most at home on stage playin' with friends.  Most of the time, I'm comfortable with myself and that has taken alot of experience and teachers and wrestling with my own demons.  I love the last card in the Thoth deck of Aleister Crowley's tarot cards, painted by Lady Freda Harris with input from Israel Regarde.  The major arcana does seem to illustrate the underlying pattern in the quest for freedom (in my case at least).  Be Blessed and as Spock used to say on the old Star Trek "Live long and prosper".  Hey "ROCK ON"

2:52 AM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

wisdom
Current mood: contemplative

I've heard it said that a smart person learns from their own mistakes and that a wise person learns from the mistakes of others.  I've also heard that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.  If all you can do is what you know how to do and you're not happy with what that's getting you, maybe it's time to wise up.  You can also learn from others successes if you ask them to teach you how to do what they're doin'.  I've spent alot of time being dumb in one ear and deaf in the other - one day I was throwing my line in the water over and over again, tryin' to catch a fish but with no "luck".  I noticed that a guy standin' just a few yards away from me seemed to bring a fish in with almost every cast.  I finally got the courage up to find humility and risk humiliation (after building up alot of frustration) to admit that I didn't seem to know what I was doing and I went over and asked the gentleman if he had some pointers for me.  He seemed happy to share his knowledge and soon had me catching fish.  Even more importantly, I gained a new friend and our friendship remains.  In my case, any wisdom that I might have gained in my travels down the back roads, alleys and animal trails has come slowly and with alot of lessons learned "the hard way".  Be Blessed, dream and work on making them come true (and don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help).

3:12 AM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment