Tennesseein’ is Tennebelievin’
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Sports

Why am I annoyed?

(1) The Tennessee Titans are in the playoffs ahead of the Browns?! What BCS screwed this up?!

(2) Phil Jackson and Barry Bonds screwed everything up. When the Spurs won their first championship, Phil Jackson said the championship deserved an asterisk since it was won in a strike-shortened season. That may be the case, but they still won; they had just as good a shot as any other team out there. Barry Bonds's record-setting homerun ball is being sent to the hall of fame with an asterisk on it because he did steroids. Listen: there are still a lot of guys out there who do steroids that couldn't hit close to 800 home runs--and he hit a good number of them without any steroids. The New England Patriots ACTUALLY CHEATED TO WIN A FOOTBALL GAME. If anything deserves a freaking asterisk, it is that, but Phil Jackson and Barry Bonds have devalued the asterisk to the point where it is now a joke, and merely suggesting that someone should put an asterisk next to something is now proof enough that there shouldn't be an asterisk there in the first place, which is ridiculous!

That aside, the NFL playoffs are set, so I'm going to make my predictions, as I do every year (I'm pretty good with the NBA; pretty terrible with the NFL). Here's how I see it going down:

NFC:

• (6) Washington Redskins def. (3) Seattle Seahawks: Let's face it, man: the 'Skins are hot, and the 'Hawks are not. Washington = Johnny Depp; Seattle = Richard Grico.


• (5) New York Giants def. (4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers: The Giants almost beat the Pats. That isn't saying much, since it looks like anyone can almost beat them these days, but, seriously, the Bucs survived a pretty mediocre division, and with who? Nobody, that's who! They're going down.


• (2) Green Bay Packers def. (5) New York Giants: I mean, the Giants are good enough to beat the friskiest quarterback in the league, but certainly not the oldest, fattest quarterback in the league.


• (1) Dallas Cowboys def. (6) Washington Redskins: Gah, what terrible second round match-ups these are going to be... Oooh! The Redskins beat the Cowboys when the Cowboys didn't play any of their starters! The Cowboys are so scared! Give me a break...


• (1) Dallas Cowboys def. (2) Green Bay Packers: Even Romo won't be able to screw this one up. Dallas whomps Green Bay 48-23. Place your bets now.

• (3) San Diego Chargers def. (6) Tennessee Titans: This is not even a joke: I honestly and truly think the Chargers should rest all their starters in this playoff game. The Titans are kind of like the JV team that shows up to play in a varsity tournament. They're not even going to have a healthy Vince Young! This one's a laugher.


• (5) Jacksonville Jaguars def. (4) Pittsburgh Steelers: You heard it here first: Pittsburgh doesn't stand a chance. Not a chance!


• (2) Indianapolis Colts def. (3) San Diego Chargers: Oh, yes, it'll be a close game. A squeaker. Everyone will say, "Wow, the Colts barely handled their business here. How can they possibly be ready for the Patriots next week?" Oh, but I've gotten ahead of myself...


• (1) New England Patriots def. (5) Jacksonville Jaguars: I don't want to watch this game. It's going to hurt too much.

• (2) Indianapolis Colts def. (1) New England Patriots: GO HOME, BOSTON CHEATRIOTS! Season's over for them here. Now they'll be the only team in NFL history to go undefeated in the regular seasons and not even get to a Super Bowl. Oh, that'll be sweet. It's a lock: Indi over New England 35-27.

• Indianapolis Colts def. Dallas Cowboys 51-26

Currently listening : The Dethalbum (Deluxe Edition) (2CD) By Dethklok Release date: 25 September, 2007

11:14 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

MLB Playoff Predictions and the 9/11 Curse
Current mood: tired
Category: Sports

Playoff time has rolled around again, and I thought in addition to giving you my playoff predictions, I'd let you in on the curse looming large over the Yankees. (For those who don't want to read the whole post: bet the farm against the Yankees winning the World Series.)

Thanks to one of the most fantastic finishes I've ever seen to a baseball game, the Colorado Rockies are in the playoffs, and the field is set. The first round match-ups look like this:

NL
Colorado Rockies at Philadelphia Phillies
Chicago Cubs at Arizona Diamondbacks

AL
Anaheim Angels at Boston Red Sox
New York Yankees at Cleveland Indians

Before I give you my predictions, let's go back a few years to 2000. Remember the 2000 World Series? If you don't, you probably live somewhere outside of the state of New York. Indeed, this tiresome series was played between the New York Yankees and the New York Mets: the first time since California baseball that two teams from New York met in the World Series. This was the last of four championships the Yankees would win in the 90's (remember that 2000 counts as being in the 90's, for some odd reason). The most memorable moment of the 2000 World Series was when Roger Clemens (former Red Sox) threw a broken bat at (or near) Mike Piazza (former Dodger), nearly causing a fight.

This was the clue. This is where all the trouble started. Consider that two of the key players in this series--Clemens and Piazza--were at one time major players for two of the Yankees biggest rivals: the Red Sox and the Dodgers. Is it a coincidence that it was Clemens that threw the bat at Piazza? Perhaps. But what's certain is that by this time everyone in America had gotten fed up with the Yankees and New York. Something had to give.

September 11th, 2001. Among all the terrible things that happened, MLB and the NFL postponed their games for a week, resulting in the first MLB World Series played in November. And what a memorable series it was. The heavily favored New York Yankees vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks: a still fairly recent expansion team with two aces from other teams. The series went seven games, and even though New York was an emotional favorite, they ended up losing in the bottom of the 9th to a franchise that took almost no time winning its first World Series after entering the league.

Thus began the curse.

A curse can't be predicted, of course, and its nature is revealed slowly over time. As observers, we can but try to discern its ways. I had some guesses as to how the curse worked early on that were proven wrong, but at the end of the day, one thing remained true: the New York Yankees were being punished. Why, you may ask? 26 World Championships, world-class arrogance, an unrestrained budget, and the idea that they could buy themselves a World Series victory year-in and year-out. In other words, the Yankees are being punished for unrestrained capitalism. I call it the 9/11 Curse.

So, how does it work? The curse has many variants, and little by little I'm figuring out its true nature. Here was an early variant:

The Strong Version: The Yankees will reach the World Series every year and lose.

The strong version of the curse didn't take long to be disproved. Indeed, the very next year the Anaheim Angels in an unprecedented post-season run surged through the playoffs and claimed their first every World Series trophy (I was in attendance for game 5 of the World Series). They, of course, beat the Yankees on their way, which led to the weak version of the curse:

The Weak Version: The Yankees will reach the playoffs every year, and will always lose to the eventual World Series champion.

This would mean that a National League team would beat the Yankees in the Series, or the American League team that beat the Yankees would go on to win the World Series. This holds for 2001 and 2002. In 2003, those wacky Florida Marlins (who've been to the playoffs twice, both times as a wild card, and have won two World Series [i.e., bet the farm on them if they ever get into the playoffs]) defeated the New York Yankees in the Series, preserving the weak version of the curse.

And who can ever forget 2004? The Boston Red Sox, down 3-0 in the ALCS to the New York Yankees, beaten 19-0 one of those games, somehow miraculous win four games in a row--the first 3-0 comeback in the history of sports--and go on to win their first World Series in...how long? 86 years? Something like that. Again, the weak version of the curse is preserved.

Indeed, it took until 2005 for the weak version of the curse to be broken. The Angels and the Yankees faced off in the 2005 ALDS, and, of course, the Angels sent them packing, since the Yankees are incapable of beating the Angels in a playoff series. Then, however, the Chicago White Sox and the umpires of the ALCS conspired to send the Angels back where they came from (LA? Anaheim?), and the White Sox won their first World Series in...how long? 98 years? Something like that. Thus, we're left with the current version of the curse:

The 9/11 Curse: The Yankees will reach the playoffs every year but will not win a World Series.

Simple, but effective. The weak version of the curse was defeated yet again in 2006, when Detroit, who beat the Yankees in the ALDS, lost to the St. Louis Cardinals in five games.

The curse seems rather potent. But when will it end? For that, we have to examine the various World Series since 2000.

Who, you might ask, is the last repeat World Series champion? Why, the Yankees, of course, who won three in a row from 1998-2000. Since then? Well, let's see:

-Arizona Diamondbacks
-Anaheim Angels
-Florida Marlins
-Boston Red Sox
-Chicago White Sox
-St. Louis Cardinals

No repeat champions. Not only that, but few likely champions. I mean, look at that list! Who would guess that the Arizona Diamondbacks would become the youngest franchise ever to win a World Series in 2001? And the Angels?! Is that a joke?! Growing up an Angels fan, it was exciting to see the Angels still in the hunt for a playoff spot in August! They're famous for their futility. And they started off the season 4-16--their worst 20 game start ever!

And then you have the Florida Marlins: A recent expansion team that's constantly surrounded by contraction and displacement rumors. The team that was most famous up to that point for winning a World Series and then dismantling their team (proving that you can buy a championship). It just doesn't make sense!

The fact that the Red Sox and White Sox won in consecutive years, breaking two of the most famous curses in baseball (behind the most famous of all, of course, belonging to the Cubs) should raise some eyebrows. And even though the Cards and Tigers series wasn't as notable, it can't be ignored that they were two of the original teams that had not moved since being founded. Also of note: the Cards hold the worst ever record for a World Series champion.

So, here's what I think. What the Yankees are guilty of is trying to use old-school strong arm tactics in the era of free agency, and it's not working. They want a dynasty, and dynasties just aren't possible any longer. Thus, the full curse reads something like this:

The 9/11 Curse: The New York Yankees will get to the playoffs every year, but will fail to win a World Series until every other team in Major League Baseball has won one (dating back to 2001).

There you have it. So, Red Sox fans and baseball fans everywhere, rejoice! Yes, the Yankees are going to field a great team every year, and will be perennial favorites, but, mark my words, they will not win a World Series for a long, long, long, LONG time.

***

Back to this year...

Considering that at least one wild card team has been a part of the Series since 2002, this is how I figure things will pan out:

NLDS
Philadelphia Phillies over Colorado Rockies
Arizona Diamondbacks over Chicago Cubs

Yes, that's right: The Cubs will have to wait another year. Though their winning would fit the historical pattern, they just don't have the team (or the chemistry) this year. Maybe next year.

ALDS
Red Sox over Angels
Yankees over Indians

First off, the Angels can't beat the Red Sox, and the Angels have their own curse to deal with (they'll never win anything until they ditch the "Los Angeles" part of their name, and they staple Arte Moreno's tongue to a boat). Second, the Indians are "just happy to be here". Plus, everyone wants to see the Yankees and the Red Sox, right? Right...?

NLCS
Philadephia Phillies over Arizona Diamondbacks

Take that, Arizona, for stealing Curt Schilling and winning what should have been Philly's championship!

ALCS
New York Yankees over Boston Red Sox

Take that, Red Sox, for humiliating the Yankees in historic fashion! Now, it's back to business: Roll out the red carpet for the Yankees as the Phillies roll over and die, right?

Right...?

World Series
Philadelphia Phillies over New York Yankees, 4-2

Yes, the Yankees will win game 1, and they'll win it in impressive fashion. Then Philly will take game 2, getting the split they so desperately need. Back to Philly, they'll take advantage of the momentum and win the next two, going up 3-1. But the Yankees aren't done yet (or so they think)! They take game 5, to bring the series back to the Bronx. They may be down in the series, but all the pressure's on Philly! Having to travel back to New York, away from their cushy hitters' ballpark, to raucous Yankee stadium, where history lurks around every power alley... Right?

Right...?

Currently listening : Wish By The Cure Release date: 21 April, 1992

3:24 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Survey?!
Current mood: lethargic
Category: Quiz/Survey

A student of mine is writing a research paper that involves data collected from a survey. If you have time, help her out and fill out her survey, which can be found here:

http://dedalvs.free.fr/wg/survey.php

Viva la survey!

Currently listening : Pet Sounds By The Beach Boys Release date: 13 July, 1999

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I Feel Like Writing Something
Current mood: angry
Category: Quiz/Survey

[A]- AVAILABLE?
Let me tell you what isn't available: The latest version of the OS for Mac. And why? I assume money.

[B]-BIRTHDAY MONTH?
January. I wish I'd been born on the first so I never had to think about how old I was (am).

[C] -CRUSHING?
I almost made a comment about kishkas...

[D]-DRINK YOU LAST HAD?
Water out of a Brita filter. Now I refuse to drink any water that hasn't been filtered in some way. Why has it come to this? I remember when people actually had Arrowhead water delivered to their home. Don't nobody do that no more. And why? Because it's ridiculous! It always has been! Water delivered by truck... What a world!

[E] - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO?
I'm guessing Henry Kissenger.

[F]- FAVORITE FOOD?
Pre-made.

[G] - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS:
NEITHER! I am so sick and tired of the entire gummy industry. Down with those hattifatteners!

[H] - LAST NIGHT?
The Golden State Warriors beat the Dallas Mavericks to go up 3-1 in their best of seven first round series. And you know what? I predicted it. I called the Golden State Warriors winning the series 4-1. Ask Jon Moore: He has proof. (And what does this have to do with the letter "h"?!)

[I]- INSTRUMENT:
This keyboard right here. It's ergonomic. Makes my wrists dance and sing.

[J] - JESUS?
17.

[K] - KILLED SOMEONE:
Here's something that bugs me: the lack of consistency when it comes to question marks and colons in this list. Who created this, Hemingway?

[L] - LAUNDRY?
When are we going to get self-cleaning clothes?! I'm so tired of taking laundry out of a drier and putting it back in a closet or drawer. I hate it!

[M]- MARRIED?
Answer me this: What happens if your belle-to-be doesn't like diamonds?

[N] - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS?
And what's the deal with these hyphens?! Sometimes they're in between two spaces, other times they come right after the closing bracket.

[O] - ONE wish?
I wish the ONE organization really would cure poverty. But they're not going to. Just another five year plan.

[P] - PERSON WHO CALLED YOU LAST:
Jeff Yarborough.

[Q]- QUITTER
Oh, me? I'm the quitter?! Look at you, stupid list! Can't even come up with a word that begins with X! And what's the deal with that, anyway? We've got plenty of words in English that begin with "ps", "pt" and "ts", and we have no problem at all pronouncing them [s], [t] and [s], respectively, but suddenly throw in a "ks" (i.e. "x"), and, oh no, it's too hard! I can't do it! I'm just lazy English, the worst language in the world!

[S] SO ANYTHING STRANGE HAPPEN LAST NIGHT?
You don't care, survey. Why are you asking?

[T] - TIME YOU WOKE UP?
5:00 a.m. (for the second and final time).

[U] - UNDERWEAR NOW:
Sounds like a good movie.

[V] VEGETABLES:
And another thing! If vegetables are supposed to be so good for you, why don't they taste good? Things taste bad that are bad for you (cf. moldy bread); why can't vegetables follow suit?! If this world really wanted us eating nothing but vegetables, vegetables would taste like ice cream, and we all would be walking around saying, "Hey, man, let's go pick up some zucchini!"

[W] - WORST MEMORY?
All I can remember right now is deciding to take this survey.

[Y] - YOUR NUMBER OF FRIENDS ON MYSPACE?
I am not about to count, but I'm sure it's not much larger than the number of friends I have IRL (LAWLZ KK THX BY!11!!!).

[Z] - ZODIAC SIGN:
And one more thing! If these zodiacal signs were so bleeding important, why would I have two? Answer me that! "Aquarians are blah, blah, blah" and "Capricorns are blah, blah, blah", and I'm neither and both, in more ways than two. Ridiculous! We're at war, new age phonies: pick a side!

Currently listening : Black Holes and Revelations By Muse Release date: 11 July, 2006

1:47 AM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Second Language Creation Conference
Current mood: busy
Category: Art and Photography

It's that time again. Those crazy folk who invent languages for fun and art are having another conference. Here's the announcement:

Ever wondered to what extent the languages of Tolkien's Lord of the
Rings series are languages? Or whether the unbreakable linguistic
universals that are claimed to underlie all languages are truly
unbreakable? Or perhaps how to say, "Where's the restroom" in
Klingon? If so, or if you're a fan of language in any form, come
check out the Second Language Creation Conference July 7-8 at UC
Berkeley!

On the agenda are several in-depth talks ranging in subject matter
from language games, to the problematic nature of the success of a
created language--including a keynote address by David Salo, the
linguist in charge of bringing Tolkien's languages to the screen in
the recent Lord of the Rings film trilogy. In attendance will be
language creators from all over the country--some who have been
working lovingly on their creations for forty or more years, and
others who continually try to push the boundaries of what a language
can do, rather than being satisfied with what naturally evolved
languages currently do. Come to chat about languages (created or
natural), hear some great talks, participate in several panel
discussions and workshops, and take in the atmosphere of downtown
Berkeley in summer.

For more information, and to see videos of talks from the First
Language Creation Conference, go to the LCC website:

http://conlangs.berkeley.edu/

And register for the next LCC at

http://lcc.questionform.com/public/LCC2-Timing

For more detailed information about the conference, see the
registration announcement below.



Hello again everyone!

We're proud to announce that the second Language Creation Conference
(LCC2) is a go.

LCC2 will be held the weekend of July 7-8 at UC Berkeley in the MLK
Student Union Building's beautiful Tilden Room (same place as last
year):

http://asuc-aux.berkeley.edu/tilden.html

Come to Berkeley for the conference on the 7th and 8th, and come on
Friday to meet and greet fellow conlangers.

Register now!

Our current lineup of speakers and events (subject to change):

Talks:
David Salo - Giving Historical Depth to Language Construction
James Gang - Verbotomy
Jim Henry - Glossotechnia
John Clifford - The Problems with Success: What happens when an
opinionated conlang meets its speakers
John Quijada - Language Personalities: How the Interplay of Phonology,
Phonotactics and Morpho-phonology Creates a Linguistic Aesthetic
Lila Sadkin - Tenata: Dissolving Lexical Categories

Language-Specific Minitalks:
David J. Peterson - The Evolution of Sidaan
Sylvia Sotomayor - Verblessness in Kelen

Panels and Audience Discussions:
Evangelizing the Secret Vice (w/ Donald Boozer, David Peterson, and Sai Emrys)
Incorporating Conlangs into Your Life

Workshop:
Conlanging 101: Vocabulary Generation (Parallel tracks: beginner and advanced)

Games:
Live Conlang Relays (bring your notes!)
Verbotomy
Glossotechnia

There are some more talks in the works (and perhaps a couple surprises
not yet listed), and it's not too late to add yourself, too--just
contact us with a proposal through the registration form linked to
below. We are particularly interested in having more people come to
speak for 15 minutes about some of the intricacies and innovations of
their own linguistic creations. For more information about giving a
15 minute talk on some of the finer points of your conlang, contact a
board member immediately.


Like last year, we encourage you to make a page or two of things to
share with everyone. It'll be printed in the program that's given to
all attendees. All you need to do is email us your content (grayscale,
PG-rated, and commercial free please), preferably in a common and
easily stitched-together format like .doc, .rtf, .png, high-res .jpg,
etc. Share some sentences in your language(s), a puzzle, a short
essay, a poem, a nifty (con)linguistic feature, a conlang-related
resource, pretty art, or anything else that'd be of interest to a
bunch of linguistically savvy conlangers!


Conference housing is at Stern Hall, a short walk across campus from
the conference site. The cost per room is $57 per day or $342 per
week, single OR double occpancy; reservations are free. Register
online ASAP because it's first come first serve after May 15th, and
make sure to mention the "Language Creation Conference" in your
reservation. Their website has information about local airport shuttle
services that can take you there.

http://www.housing.berkeley.edu/conference/summervis/reserv_req_form.html
http://conferenceservices.berkeley.edu/summer_visitor_faq.html

If you'd like any information about Berkeley and the surrounding area
(travel to and from, restaurants, fun things to do on the weekend),
contact David Peterson, a former local with lots of local contacts, at
peterson.dj @ gmail.com.


The conference fee is $35 for 1.5 days, and includes lunch on the full
day. Donations apart from that are of course welcome and
tax-deductible. The reduced early registration fee (received between
now and May 15th) is $25.

If the registration fee is too high for your situation or if you would
like a fee waiver because you hold some special status, that's
okay--just let us know. We are more than happy to accept donations of
time (particularly during set up and tear down) in lieu of money.

---> Register at http://lcc.questionform.com/public/LCC2-Timing <----

Please make checks payable to "ASUC / Language Creation Society" and
send them to:

Language Creation Society
c/o Sai Emrys
1232 E 19th St #212
Oakland, CA 94606


In other news, the Language Creation Society 501(c)3 nonprofit
corporation is going through the necessary paperwork to come into
formal existence; we hope to soon start doing even more to help the
conlanging community expand, establish new forums of expression, and
gain broader acceptance both in the eyes of academia and the general
public.

The Board of Directors of the Language Creation Society consists of
Sally Caves aka Sarah L. Higley, John E. Clifford, David G. Durand,
Sai Emrys aka Ilya Starikov, Arnt Richard Johansen, David J. Peterson,
And Rosta, Kenji Schwarz, Henrik Theiling, and Ellen Wright. LCS
memberships wll be available once paperwork is completed, and a
newwebsite is planned. Feel free to contact us to discuss this or
future conferences, our upcoming journal, or anything else related to
our mission.

Thanks,
- Sai
LCS director, LCC organizer

Currently listening : The Essential Michael Nyman Band By Michael Nyman Release date: 19 January, 1993

1:55 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Choices
Current mood: content
Category: Sports

I was inspired by a recent bulletin (a series of questions of which you'd rather do/be: die young, having lived a rich and vibrant life, or die old having lived an incredibly boring life? One that made no sense: be stuck in an elevator for three hours with your "crush" or your parents. Is that a joke?), so I thought I'd post something about an idea I had once.

Imagine you were given the opportunity (by a genie, let's say) to have the fantastic ability to be able to make any shot (in basketball) that you put up. Didn't matter where you were on the court, or how many people tried to stop you, every shot you put up would go in, no matter what. The genie will grant you this power, should you so choose, but there's a catch. Along with the ability will come the anxiety that every shot you put up you will miss. Further, it gets worse after every shot you shoot. So even though you'll make every shot you put up, you believe that you're going to miss every shot you put up. It might just make you a bit hesitant, at first, but as you shoot more and more, it will grow into a kind of phobia, so that you're terrified to get the ball in a situation where you'll have to shoot it. By the end, you wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

So, there's the situation. What do you think? Would you take it? I honestly don't know if I would or not.

Currently listening : Rhapsody in Blue - Ultimate Piano Collection [20 CD Set] By Johann Sebastian Bach Release date: 09 December, 2003

1:27 PM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

NFL Playoff Predictions

I need to make sure these get up somewhere before the games tomorrow, so here they are:

AFC:
(1) Colts def. Chiefs
(2) Patriots def. Jets

(3) Chargers def. Patriots
(4) Colts def. Ravens

(5) Colts def. Chargers

NFC:
(1) Dallas def. Seattle
(2) Giants def. Eagles

(3) Bears def. Giants
(4) Saints def. Cowboys

(5) Bears def. Saints

Super Bowl:
Chicago Bears def. Indianapolis Colts 20-17

Place your bets now.

2:02 PM - 9 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I Got Something "Published"
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Art and Photography

The latest issue of the Speculative Grammarian just came out, and it features an article I wrote. Give it a read by clicking here. It should be funny even to non-linguists.

[Note: The "aggravated" mood down there is with respect to the basketball game, in which I played terribly. At least I hit both of my free throws... In addition, a spider was there to greet me when I came home. A LARGE spider. Blocking the door. They're after me...]

Currently listening : Operation: Mindcrime II By Queensrÿche Release date: 04 April, 2006

2:13 AM - 5 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I'm Back
Current mood: tired
Category: Travel and Places

I passed une bonne vacation dans Chico, and now I've retourner'ed--kind of. My family is here in San Diego, spending the entire week here, so I'm still not back back yet. I'll slowly be catching up on the comings and goings of l'internet. Je demande de vous vos patience.

Currently listening : London Warsaw New York By Basia Release date: 23 October, 1989

3:37 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Vacation
Current mood: awake
Category: Travel and Places

I'm going to be visiting Erin's family until August 18th. If you need me, e-mail me, and I'll respond in a "timely" fashion.

9:25 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment