9:01 AM - Not so doooomy
Current mood: electric

I'z gotz a newz carz.....  I'z likez myz newz carz.....

errr, yea. So, I'm driving this 2002 Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder now.  Black with black leather interior and a rag top.  Kinda tempted to call it the DooOooOoom Mobile, but she has choosen her name.  She is Raven

hmm... my most meaningful relationship in 6-7 years, and it's with a car....

I need a girlfriend.

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10:05 AM - No post since Boise? I suck...

So, yea... I'm in Boise.  Have been since 2006.  Since the day to day thing was just slowly killing me, a Dragon convinced me to move back.

Can't say my outlook is much better, even though I know I am in a much better position in life then where I was in Phoenix.  Still waiting to die, still smoking to accelerate the proccess, but at least I have a few good friends while I'm waiting.

Well, I have job hunting to do... post more later me thinks.

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3:18 PM - I only post when I'm moody....
Current mood: moody

WoW is on an extended downtime, so I'm board and looking through all my links I have not used in months.

How am I doing now? Pretty much just waiting to die. The smoking will help that along though... so less wait time. Maybe I should go back to drinking too.

Anyway. As you can probably guess, I gave up. The 'making my own destiny' thing didn't pan out. Ce la vi (vie? whatever...). A man can have a great amount of pacience and will to carry on and I've proven that I have more than a lot of people, but in the end it just wasn't enough.

This is depressing... time for random thoughts:

Puppy in a small appartment is a bad idea.

No car sucks, especially when your still paying for it.

60 hours a week helps make that car payment and let me get on the internet.

60 hours a week leaves me with no social life.

I'd have no social life if I was working less, so it's all good.

Randomly dropping Goblin land mines in Warsong Gultch is hella fun.

Stepping on a Goblin land mine in Warsong Gultch, not so fun.

Having a guy come to the drive-thru at 3am to get his pregnant wife a strawberry shake and telling him that we can't serve any shakes because the shake machine is down for cleaning, knowing that he will have to return home without her object of craving and endure her moodyness, has a special kind of satisfaction to it.

Nice to know I can assist in others missery, even if it only feels good due to petty jellousy over him becoming a dad while I am not.

Best not go there. Been in love twice and wanted a family both times. One betrayed me, the other I still love but will bairly talk to me. Guess I'm lucky to have had two loves though. Some people never get to know that feeling.

And I'm back to depressing.....

Fuck it, better go see if the servers are back up.

Currently listening : Cinnamon Girl By Type O Negative Release date: 24 June, 1997

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5:48 PM - Ahhh... the angst...
Current mood: Blah...

The anger has passed. I have finaly reached a constant state of 'whatever..'. Life has become a day to day event. I have taken my worries and surgicaly removed them with a machette. It's good to be free.

Things are better now. New job that will soon turn into a new position with more money. I can play World of Warcraft and loose myself in a realm of fantasy, allowing for a much needed escape from reality. And, I think for the first time in my life, I no longer feel the need for a woman. No, I did not become gay.... I simply exist, without a companion.

It may seem like a bleak existance, but I have what I need to survive. And that is all I ask for.

Later

Currently playing : World of Warcraft Release date: 23 November, 2004

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11:54 PM - Shoot me, burn me, and send me to hell
Current mood: aggravated

I'm done!
I've had enough and I'm ready to just take my chances in the eternal inferno.

Why you may ask? Because I'm fed up.

Three years.... that's how long it has been since I've had a woman in my life. And it was nearly six years ago that I was in love with a woman (anyone who know's me know's what happened to that). So, after three years, when I had pretty much given up on the notion of finding a woman and being happy, a beautiful red headed ex-stripper weighing 98 lbs basicly falls into my lap. From the moment I saw her I knew she's break my heart. I hate being right. After a lot of talk about how she wasn't looking for a one night thing, we had one of the best nights of sex I've ever had. Now, a week later, she's telling me that we can't see eachother anymore. She doesn't think it's fair for us to see eachother since she doesn't want to be in a relationship.

What the fuck ever... she got what she wanted and she didn't want to feel like a slut getting it.

Guess I should stop complaining.... I did get a realy realy good lay out of the deal. :p

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12:45 AM - Were all Doomed
Current mood: Doomed

Why am I even bothering to post this? Your doomed, I'm doomed, we're all doomed. It's only a matter of time till you have tumors sprouting out of your lungs or get behind that car bomb on the freeway. Sure we all have a special way we'll go, but it's all the same in the end. Life is a proccess... and at the end of that proccess is an enevitable doom wich is preceeded by a series of littler dooms wich all add up to that one big and final DOOM!

Hell, even our own pitifully insignificant little dooms are only part of the larger doom that awaits the whole universe when it eventually collapses upon itself and brings an end to all existance. Even Time and Space are not immune to the eventuality of the doom that is ever present... waiting... watching... like some deranged cooty infested school girl that stalks you, chases you down and kisses you all over your face when all you want to do is get home without being molested by some lovesick girl who's acting out some scene she saw on T.V..... Yes, Television! The boob tube, the one eyed brain sucker, that radioactive box in your livingrooms that programs the populace and defines american culture. The culture of the all-mighty-dollar! Do you realy belive those shows are there for your benefit? Hell no! They exist for one purpose.... to make you watch T.V. long enough to see the commercials, so you will buy their products, so they can make more money, so they can make more commertials, so you can see the commercials, so you will buy MORE of their products..... DO YOU NOT SEE?!?!? The signs of your doom are EVERYWHERE! You, me, and this whole dam society are DOOMED! Wow... are you actually reading this? heh... Well, thanks for reading my rant. Have a nice day ;)

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11:03 PM - blog blog blog
Current mood: optimistic

I have a blog... hmm...

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