Stay with You

This is in omnscient pov. It's what happened to me when I died. I was physically dead for a few minutes when I faked my death. In those moments I saw her again. Teri...

Jack needed to time it perfectly. He felt the cold spreading from his fingertips and the darkness he fought against he now ran towards. Clock stopping, lying down in blood, choking pain radiating up his arm, into his chest and the urge to scream suppressed. He could hear his own heart slowing and he remembered the sensation from before, but there was no tunnel, no light that time - just an endless void. His eyes closed and the world melted away in a brilliant burst of agony.

He was prepared for the nothingness, for the true end, but instead he found himself in front of a house. It took him a moment to recognize it, but he felt the softness of the grass under his shoes and he found himself walking to the door, unable to believe it existed. Even if this was only his brain's way of dealing with death, he reached out and walked into the house, feeling her presence in the house, but he didn't see her.

He cradled his hurt hand against his chest and went through to the living room, knowing the layout of this house even asleep, more than half-drunk and stopped in front of a familiar set of photos. A song started from somewhere behind him....

"Please don't give up on me..." a man was singing and Jack caught a glimpse of a woman reflected in the glass of a picture frame.

An arm slipped around him and he closed his eyes, suddenly fighting tears. Against his neck a breathing pattern he'd recognize anywhere, had heard when he was sleeping in their bed alone, afterward, in hazy dreams, had imagined when high in Mexico and listened for as he wandered from woman to woman.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered and he leaned back for a moment, holding her hand against his chest. "You have to go back."

"I know," he breathed in return, looking down at the floor, waiting for her to reject him, for her to push him away because after all if any woman deserved to, it was her. But he missed her so much, with her for 16, without for six. And felt internal panic at leaving her now, even if she didn't want him. But he couldn't turn around, because he knew if he saw her, if he kissed her, if he remembered how she felt in his arms, he wouldn't feel his body trying to struggle back to life. He wouldn't care about time passing and hadn't he given up enough? Even if he survived, he'd be dead.

She pressed her lips to the back of his neck and he was surprised to hear a strain in her voice when she spoke again. "I don't blame you."

"You've seen..." he felt an ache in his chest as he tried to get out of the words.

"Yes, but I know you, Jack. I always have....even when you forgot," She lifted his hurt hand and gently kissed the back of his hand. To his horror he felt wetness against his fingers and although it hurt, stitches wanting to rip open, he pulled her other arm around him and felt her cheek rest against his shoulder.

"You have to go back," she repeated.

He shook his head, holding onto her tighter.

"My husband wouldn't let them win," she whispered.

"Jack!" Tony's voice interrupted the music like a scratch on an old record.

"I miss you so much..."

"I miss you too," she admitted reluctantly.

Jack turned around, but Teri was gone and the room was growing brighter, and he closed his eyes against the glare, the music fading into the background. He felt a pressure in, no, on his chest and blinked open his eyes to find Tony trying to bring him back.

A rough palm was against his face and he couldn't decide whether to be relieved his plan worked or disappointed.

10:40 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Monster

I know now what shadows can see
There's no point in running unless you run with me

It felt like the floor dropped out from under me when they dragged him in. I couldn't speak, couldn't move – couldn't do anything but wonder how Chase had found me. He wasn't supposed to be a part of this, and Tony and Gael and I had gone out of our way to keep him in the dark. He was young; he didn't have the experience to deal with this kind of situation.

Chase raised his head and his eyes locked with mine. There was the slightest tinge of fear and uncertainty in his face, but it was outweighed by anger and determination and the overwhelming emotion that made my heart twist in my chest – betrayal. He could forgive me for my anger at his relationship with my daughter; he could forgive me for leaving him unconscious in a prison cell when he thought I was trying to do the right thing. But this . . . this he couldn't forgive.

Ramon was right behind me, his eyes boring into my back. And so I couldn't tell him. I couldn't drop the façade and tell him it was all deceit, a twisted game of cat and mouse where predator and prey were never clearly defined. All I could do was look at him and hope to God he could put the pieces together.

And I feel a cold wind blowing beneath my wings
It always leads me back to suffering
But I will soar until the wind whips me down
Leaves me beaten on unholy ground again

We should have told him. We should have at least given him some idea of what was going on, and then Chase would have stayed in Los Angeles and we wouldn't be in this impossible situation. My partner wouldn't have an arsenal aimed at his chest in the home of the most sadistic man I'd ever known. We'd fucked up, and now something had to give.

Pain and anger flashed in his eyes as he asked if I was with them now. His voice was almost a snarl, telling me in no uncertain terms that if his arms weren't being held he would try his damndest to rip me to shreds. I had no doubts that he would – I've known my share of betrayal too and was well aware of the throbbing red fury pulsing in his chest. He wanted to kill me, and I didn't blame him.

So tired now of paying my dues
I start out strong but then I always lose

There was no way to let him know that from this point on, every word that fell from my lips was a lie. Ramon and Hector were right behind me and right then Ramon wanted nothing more than to see my blood spilling all over the floor. I couldn't fuck this up. It had to be real.

Yes, I was with them, I growled back. I watched his world shatter and in that second I hated myself for having to do this, for having this job and this life. I wanted to kill Ramon for this, kill Tony for ever letting me agree to do this, kill anyone I could get my hands on for making the world a place where I had to be the first person to betray this kid.

So here I slave inside of a broken dream
Forever holding on to splitting seams

He ripped his arms from his captor's grip and lunged at me. I didn't fight him hard – I didn't have it in me. I understood his rage and let him slam me into the wall, feeling my head crack against plaster. Within seconds Hector's men had restrained him again and then Ramon had me by the collar, demanding I kill my partner.

It took me a split second to make the decision. But oh, God, I loathed myself for making it. Chase had a life ahead of him. The whole world was waiting for this kid and I had to put a gun to his head and pull the trigger. My daughter would never forgive me. I was going to shoot the man she loved, and I knew there was no way she could ever understand why it was necessary. Daddy was betraying her again, and the thought made me want to forget the whole thing and just put the barrel in my mouth. End it all, right there in Ramon's house.

But I had been trained too well for that. The hand on that gun was not my own, and neither was my life. I had signed it away a long time ago, when I was an idealistic kid, and it was no longer mine to do with as I pleased. I had been sent here to do a job, and maybe when it was over I could put that gun to my own head. But not now – not now. Now I had a choice. I could let the most destructive virus known to man get into the hands of terrorists, or I could kill my partner.

And so I took the gun, knowing all the while that it should have been me on the other end of that barrel. I was too fucked up on smack and this job and my own bitterness to care anymore, and I might even have welcomed that cold metal against my temple. But instead the gun was in my hands, and I was the one who had to pull the trigger.

I know now what trouble can be
And why it follows me so easily
It's half the distance through the open door
Before you shut me down again
Let me introduce you to the end

I hoped Chase saw the apology and the pain in my eyes as I moved closer. I didn't want to do it, I didn't want to fucking do it. The face of this innocent kid was going to haunt me forever. But I felt Ramon's eyes on me and knew there was no way out.

I snarled that he shouldn't have followed me and suddenly Chase spat in my face, furious. Warm saliva dripped down my cheek, but the revulsion that suddenly rolled in my stomach didn't stem from that. My gut was churning because I knew that I didn't even deserve to be spat on; what I was about to do would reduce me to nothing. No, that's not right. I was already nothing.

I wiped his saliva away and moved to his side, pressing the gun to his head. I felt him trembling slightly, but the expression on his face hadn't changed. He stared straight ahead, waiting. I wanted to tell him I was sorry – sorry for not telling him about the job, sorry for being angry about his relationship with my daughter, sorry for fucking everything that had brought us to this point. But I couldn't say a word, and even if I had, it wouldn't have been enough. No amount of apologies could make up for what I was about to do. So I said nothing and simply squeezed the trigger, waiting for the explosion that would damn me for the rest of my life.

And time will burn your eyes

The chamber clicked over, empty. No shot. No blood spattering the opposite wall, no body on the floor. Chase was still standing, still alive, and he blinked in shock as Ramon's laughter filled the room.

The gun was shaking in my hand and I nearly dropped it. I couldn't do anything but stand there as Hector's men dragged my partner down the hall. Ramon was still laughing, and the single thought pounding through my mind was that I had almost done it. I had almost shot him. He was just a kid, and I had almost put a bullet through his head.

Ramon was just a terrorist, a bastard who didn't care. He had no morals, no cause, no heart. He killed without thought. Lives held no meaning for him, and that was why he was so dangerous. A man without guilt can explain away his crimes. I couldn't. There was no explanation. I could have avoided it, I could have convinced Ramon it wasn't necessary, I could have broken my cover, I could have flat-out refused. But I didn't. I had put a gun to my partner's head and pulled the trigger.

Ramon kept laughing as his brother's men left the room with Chase. I just stared at him, realization slowly creeping into my mind. There were two men standing in the room now, but only one of them was a monster.

It was me

10:38 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I betrayed you Teri, I'm sorry. I kissed her. I should've killed her.

I'm not the first you sucked down
I drank your pleasure slow
Then stumbled out from your veil
Still I've come for you tonight
Choke my faith and stab my pride

My head jerked up when she touched me, consciousness suddenly boiling over my senses. The first thing I realized was that I couldn't move. I was seated on a chair, my hands were cuffed behind my back, and Nina was pacing in front of me, glancing every so often at the man she had stationed in the corner.

Fuck. Fuck! I had been trained better than this – Nina should be the one cuffed to the chair, not me. I tested the strength of the cuffs. They were strong – I wasn't going anywhere. That bitch. That fucking bitch. Just the sight of her had me reeling. I knew I couldn't get to her, but it didn't stop me from wanting to. I wanted to charge at her, to rush her and knock her to the ground and break her neck.

Every single time I saw Nina, I thought of Teri. And Nina was everywhere. The picture in her file at CTU, the photographs from a weekend vacation that I had never quite been able to burn. And now the bitch was here, somehow tangled up in this deal, and those memories of Teri that I'd tried so hard to forget were here too. They were never happy memories. I never remembered the Christmases and the picnics and the nights Teri and I cuddled on the couch watching TV. Nina had reduced my memories to a single moment – the moment when I cradled the dead body of my wife in my arms.

I tried to swallow my hatred. I'd come for the virus, not revenge. And to get it, I had to get Nina in with the Salazars. Trying not to let her see how badly I needed this to happen, I offered her money. It was her one love; she would do anything for it. There had been a time when she'd looked at me with lust, but when she looked at crisp dollar bills, her eyes lit up in a way that I had never seen before.

This is the last time
This is the last time
This is the last time now
I'll bleed for you

She was convinced that I still worked for CTU. It didn't take much to pretend that I didn't. I didn't have to fake the bitterness in my voice. I'd lost everything, I told her, and I had. My wife was dead, my last relationship was shattered, and Kim had never quite forgiven me. I hadn't had much left, but when I went undercover with the Salazars I gave it all up. I told Nina I'd given them my soul. It was true. Whatever was left of me after all that had happened had disappeared into a needle. There was nothing left.

I kept talking, desperately trying to make it believable but at the same time, believing every word I said. No one had been waiting for me when I brought Ramon Salazar in. All I got was a slap on the back for a job well done. Fuck that. I'd put my life on the line for my fucking country, and what had it ever given me besides a dead wife and a demotion to director of field ops? No one. Nothing. I was disgusted with myself and the organization I worked for, but despite all that I was going to do everything within my power to stop this virus. Not for CTU, and not for my government, but for the millions of innocent people that would die if I didn't. Only Nina could help me make that happen. There was no other way.

The man in the corner wouldn't shut the hell up. He was butchering my concentration, and that could easily ruin my chances of convincing Nina that the Salazars would pay her. The bastard threatened to call someone if Nina didn't shoot me. She pulled a gun and the cold metal stroked across the side of my face before pressing against my head. Oh, God. Only a short time before, I'd been on the other end of a gun, holding it to Chase's head. It should have been me then, and it was finally me now. I closed my eyes, praying it would be fast.

Suddenly the pressure on my forehead was gone and there was a shot. My eyes flashed open. Jesus! The man in the corner slumped to the floor. I exhaled, relieved that I was alive and furious that I wasn't dead.

Preservation or predation
As I'm reeling I don't know
Crumbled I spill out of your hand
I want to fall
And you see it all

Nina dropped to her knees in front of me, her hands on my thighs. I looked down, surprised, the touch both new and familiar. She had beautiful hands. So graceful. I couldn't help but remember how her hands had felt on me – running through my hair, down my back, clutching at me in ecstasy. But those same hands had held the gun that killed my wife. I met her eyes, fully understanding what she wanted. That manipulative little bitch.

Her hands slid further up my legs and she leaned closer, asking if I could forgive her. A million things flashed through my mind – Kim as a baby, holding Teri's lifeless body, fucking Nina, Teri's funeral, the night I'd woken up in sheets soaked with tears and semen with Nina's face imprinted on my mind. Forgive her? No. I couldn't. But I couldn't tell her that. I sidestepped the question and told her that if I'd wanted her dead, I would have killed her. God, I did want her dead, but I couldn't think about that now. Right now, I needed her – and she knew it.

She asked me to convince her and leaned even closer. I stared at her. No, no, God, please. I'd always loved the taste of her lips. They were so different from Teri's - more exotic, like a rare wine. Teri had tasted domestic, like cinnamon. Teri. My wife. Oh, God. My head was spinning. I knew what Nina wanted, but sweet Jesus, I didn't think I could do it. I could do anything else – I could put my own ass on the line, I could shoot my partner, I could listen to him being mercilessly tortured, but I didn't think I could kiss the woman that had killed my wife.

And everything I feel I know you know
And everything that heals I know you know
And everything that steals I know you know
And everything that kills you know

She leaned closer. That bitch. That dirty traitorous bitch. I tested the strength of my cuffs again, desperately hoping that there was some way out of this. I couldn't do it, I just couldn't. There was no way I could live with myself if I allowed Nina to do this.

But . . . I had to. I fucking had to. If I could get her to believe me, to trust me at all, I might be able to stop the virus. No matter what the cost, I had to make that happen. I had to get to Nina. I tried to tell myself that there was no other way, tried to convince myself that out of all the things I'd been forced to do in the name of my country, kissing Nina Myers was hardly the worst.

But my mind screamed that it was, that kissing the woman who had murdered Teri was the purest form of betrayal. I didn't want to do this, didn't want to make this decision. It wasn't a decision at all, really. Nina was on her knees in front of me, and there was a man somewhere in possession of a deadly virus. And so as the traitor who killed my wife leaned closer – I kissed her. I'm sorry, Teri, I thought. So sorry.

10:33 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

To Kim and Chase Season 3
Category: Writing and Poetry

This why I told Chase what I did in season 3 and why I meant it.

"You can't have a normal life and do this job at the same time."

Chase wonders why I don't think he can date. You don't even have to add "my daughter" to the end of that statement, although it wouldn't hurt. I know what I'm talking about, and I'm just trying to make sure Chase, and Kim, don't make the same mistakes I did. They've both seen too much that kids their age shouldn't have to see. They're scarred, even if they don't realize it.

When you see the thing we see, you retreat into yourself. You can't do the give and take thing relationships require. You hold back, out of habit, and out of necessity. That's why even when you trust someone with your life, you drift apart. Secrets destroyed my relationships with Teri, Nina, Kate. In the end, it's easier to stay alone.

I try to explain this to Chase, and he points out Tony and Michelle. If they can do it, he reasons, so can I. I don't tell him that Tony and Michelle won't last forever. I'm happy for them, right now, and I honestly hope that they can figure out what I can't - how to stay together when our world seems so intent on breaking people apart.

I've always been reckless, it's why I became a field agent. Going after the terrorists, I can unleash the dark emotions that I hide under the surface. I do what needs to be done. I go against protocol. I know I scare Chase sometimes. I scare myself sometimes. Tony and Kim know there's something different about me. But they know not to push. If I'm hiding something, there's a reason for it. I know there's a distance growing between my daughter and me. It's partially my fault that Kim goes to Chase. I know I push her away. I'll do anything to protect her. Even if I'm protecting her from myself.

"I'm concerned about you, Jack. The things you did to get me here. You'll never be the same."

Six months undercover with Salazar. I did things I promised myself I'd never do. I crossed dangerous lines. I saw things that haunt me, had a lot of bad days.

I can't sleep any more. When I try, I remember Teri dead in my arms, that day almost five years ago.

I remember the last time I saw Nina, the rage that exploded in me then. I almost killed her that day. It would have been so easy to add another casualty to my personal body count.

Maybe going under wasn't such a bad thing. I shoot up and it all goes away.

But I see the look in Chase's eyes when the withdrawal starts to hit. And it's back to fighting.

So many mistakes. Secrets and lies. Doing my job. Trying. Failing.

Succeeding? Maybe. Salazar is behind bars, but is it worth what I gave up?

Six months of my life. Spiraling into addiction. Losing Kate. Losing Kim, again.

I lost her the first time when I wasn't there for her childhood. All those missed birthday parties and dance recitals.

I lost her a second time when Teri and I separated. She tried to get close to me, but I didn't pay attention. I knew she was trying to play me against her mother and I ignored her. She almost died that day and regretted it. But nothing changed.

I lost her for good when I lost her mother. We ran away from each other instead of coming together like we could have. Those years we lost we can't get back.

And now it's back to ignoring her. She's trying to talk to me, and I can't let her. I can't let her get close enough to see me like this. It's easy to hide when all we do is exchange casual greetings in the bullpen before I run upstairs and lock myself in my office.

And now the virus threat. It never stops. It's never enough.

Would it be easier to just give up? Probably. But I've tried the running away strategy. It didn't work.

Too many people need me. Even though I wish they didn't.

I've spent my life keeping America safe from the ever-present threats. I've lost count of the number of people I've watched die. Nothing shocks me anymore.

And I've never found a satisfactory explanation. Why do people kill people? Why is my job necessary?

I'll never know. I just know that it is.

And that's why I'll continue to make the sacrifices that I make.

I don't believe in much anymore, but maybe someday someone will prove me wrong.

Maybe we don't have to be alone.

10:25 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Let Go
Current mood: melancholy
Category: Writing and Poetry

This is a journal entry written for my wife detailing the hardest day of my life. The day I lost her. I wrote it from an omniscient point of view. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to get it written down I woould have cried too much.

He needed to get up, Jack Bauer thought. There were things he needed to do. Things that needed to be done.

It was just that he couldn't think of what they were. Couldn't focus enough to do that. Sad, really. His thoughts were running in sluggish circles.

Shattering themselves on the woman in his arms. Only when he tried to think beyond the moment, though. If he stayed here, stayed now, nothing would change.

If he didn't let go. If he stayed here, with Teri. If he never had to tell Kim that her mother--

--that her mother--

Breathe! his body screamed at him. Jack sucked in a harsh breath, letting his head fall back against the wall. The spots faded from his vision. He could hear his heartbeat, thundering in his ears. The pain in his side was sharp and searing again, reminding him.

The dock. If Drazen had killed him. If Nina's cover had been preserved. If she'd never needed to run.

If.

There was no if.

There was only this. Here. His wife--his pregnant wife in his arms. Bullet holes in her shirt, and blood, and--

Dead. Teri was dead.

He needed to get up.

He needed--

He really needed to stop crying. Another sob, soft and broken, tore through him, and he clung to her more tightly.

How many people died because of you, Jack?

Nina. The mole. Nina. The traitor he'd trusted with everything, this whole long day--

"I'm so sorry--Teri, I'm so sorry--" More apologies. Words, useless words, but they spilled out of him in a cracked whisper, unstoppable.

Palmer was safe, Drazen was dead, and none of it mattered. All of the mistakes and betrayals, the wheels within wheels--none of it was real anymore, there was only this. Only silence and tears and the crushing knowledge of his own failure.

And Teri, his beautiful Teri, lying so still in his arms.

They weren't going to get that second chance after all.

Voices, calling his name. Tony, maybe.

Jack squeezed his eyes shut.

He needed to get up.

He couldn't.

He couldn't let go.

10:08 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Kim/Chase, Tony/Michelle, Jack/Audrey
Category: Writing and Poetry

Chase and Kim sat on the couch. Jack was out with Audrey and Tony and Michelle, and they had rented a movie, which was nearing the end, though neither of them had any idea what it was about. They were kissing passionately on the couch and as the movie credits came on, Chase grabbed the control and switched the TV off. It was pitch black, but their eyes had already started to adjust to the moonlight. Chase pushed Kim back on the couch and climbed on top of her, Kim smiling broadly. He kissed her, and she kissed him back. She put her arms around his neck and he began to slide his hand under her top. The lights switched on. They had been too busy making out to hear the door open, and Jack and Audrey and Tony and Michelle had tried to be quiet in case they had fallen asleep, but they were all coming into the house anyway to have drinks. Chase jumped off Kim and she swung her legs into an upright position, wiping her mouth from her smeared lip gloss and crossing her arms to hide the fact that Chase had just unhooked her bra. "

What the fuck is going on?" demanded Jack.

"Hi Daddy, we were just-" Kim's words trailed off as she glanced at her Dad and looked quickly down.

It wasn't bad enough that he had caught them, but Audrey, Tony, and Michelle were all smirking, keeping a distance from Jack. Jack looked outraged.

"Just because I know about you guys doesn't mean I want to see it. And just because I decided not to kill you Chase, doesn't mean I'm not going to change my mind," Jack shouted.

Chase refused to look at Jack. It was really bad for him because he was also Jack's partner.

"Think of it this way; would you rather us be in my room with the door closed?" she said with a glance up at Jack.

"Good point," he said with a softened expression, and then returning to his anger, "But this is my little girl, Chase. What the fuck were you doing on top of-"

"Dad, I'm nineteen, not fifteen anymore," Kim said quietly, staring at her hands.

Jack looked like he was going to burst with rage.

"I should be going," Chase said with a nervous glance at Jack.

"No, I'm not done with you yet," Jack said, pushing him down onto the couch.

"He's not armed, right?" Tony whispered jokingly to Michelle.

"Hope not," she said, "Or else Chase might get his head blown off."

They sniggered at each other. Jack glanced at them threateningly, but Michelle simply rolled her eyes with a smile at him.

"Anyways, Chase, if you want me to respect you how the fuck do you expect me to treat you after seeing you and my kid-"

Words seemed to fail Jack.

"In the mean time sit farther apart," he said with an angry glance at them as they were holding hands.

Kim and Chase quickly scooted away from each other so that there was at least half a foot in between the two of them. Kim was now so red with embarrassment and Jack was just getting redder with suppressed rage. On the other hand, Tony and Michelle seemed pink from their laughter at the situation. Jack glanced at them.

"You two be quiet unless you want me to go into your expedition in interrogation 4."

Tony and Michelle both fell silent.

"We'll be shutting up now," said Michelle, next glancing at Tony with a smile, thinking about the memory.

He smiled back at this. Kim, trying to derive attention from her situation, spoke up.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Nothi-" started Tony, but he was interrupted by Jack.

"Nice try Kimberly, I'm not done with you yet."

"Fuck. He called me Kimberly, now we're really in for shit," she said to Chase who showed a brief smile but quickly hid it as to not anger Jack further.

Chase was quite scared. He knew that if he wasn't careful he would end up being pulled out of the house on a stretcher, so he watched what he said and did. Jack continued shouting at them, Tony, Michelle, and Audrey gradually laughing harder and harder.

"All right Kim. Now say goodbye to your boyfriend and get back in here. We need to talk some more," Jack said menacingly.

Kim and Chase stood up and walked out of the house as fast as they could without running. Jack turned to Audrey, Tony, and Michelle, who were bending over in laughter.

"Let's get a drink," he said.

Once by Chase's car Kim put her arms around his neck.

"I'm so sorry, Chase," she said.

"It's fine, baby," he said.

He turned her so that he was blocking her from view from the house, her back to his car, and Kim quickly reached her hand under her shirt and clipped her bra. Chase pecked her on the lips.

"I'll call you later."

"Okay," Kim said, walking away, both stretching out their hands to remain in contact as long as possible.

Kim turned and walked back into the house, waiting for the eruption.

"Jack, remember, she is your daughter, and she is nineteen, so just, don't be too hard on her," Michelle said.

"Yeah, I know. But on my fucking couch?" Jack said, frustrated.

"Besides, they were just making out," said Audrey.

Jack looked at her as though unable to believe his ears. To him, his little girl making out was a really big deal.

"Just, just-" He couldn't finish his sentence.

Kim walked back into the house, arms folded. She went to the fridge and pulled out some milk, drinking it out of the carton and sitting on the counter.

"Kimberly, we're not done with this yet," Jack said, walking into the kitchen, Michelle, Tony, and Audrey following.

"What do you want me to say, Daddy?" she said in a quiet, slightly defeated voice, not seeming up to much of a fight.

"I, I-" he seemed speechless again.

"Look, Daddy, it really isn't that big of a deal, I've been dating him for like four and a half months, we were kissing, you saw, you didn't like it. Great. I understand where you're coming from but really, it's not the end of the world."

She took a sip of the milk. Jack was silent; he seemed to be considering her last comment.

"Okay," he said slowly, still thinking.

Kim looked tired.

"I think I'll go to bed, if we're done here?"

"Okay," Jack said again.

"Goodnight Dad," Kim said, hopping off the counter, putting the milk in the fridge, and kissing Jack on the cheek.

"Night guys," Kim said to Audrey, Tony, and Michelle.

"Goodnight," they all said.

There was silence as Kim walked into her bedroom. Once they had heard the door of her room down the hall close, Jack walked around to the cabinet and pulled out the vodka, pouring himself a glass and drinking it all in one gulp, next slamming the glass onto the counter.

"Come on Jack, it wasn't that bad," said Tony sympathetically, Audrey walking to the cabinet and pulling out glasses.

"No, it sucked," he said.

"Well, I know one way to get it off your mind," said Tony, grinning.

"Yeah, what's that?" said Jack.

"Let's get plastered. You won't even remember it in the morning," he said with a smile.

In response Jack picked up the vodka bottle, tipped it towards Tony in recognition, and took a swig directly from the bottle.

        Back in Kim's room, she was sitting curled up on her bed in boxers and a t-shirt.

"Hey," she said into the phone.

"Hi," came Chase's voice.

There was silence for a moment.

"I'm sorry," they said at the same time.

"What are you sorry for?" asked Kim.

"I should have had more sense. I never should have started kissing you there."

"No, no. It was my fault. I wasn't thinking. I didn't think how it would effect you more than me, because I mean, he's your partner. I'm so sorry, Chase."

"Me too," he said.

"Look, I'll talk to my Dad in the morning, once he's had a chance to cool off."

"All right. By the way, before I forget, I have to say, I really enjoyed the movie," Chase said.

"Yeah, is that so?" Kim said, "Well maybe we should rent it again and watch it at your place; I don't remember anything from it."

"Me neither," Chase laughed.

Returning to a serious manor, Chase said, "Kim, you know I love you, right?"

"Yeah," she said, "I love you too."

"You should get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"What's tomorrow? Saturday, that's right. Okay, I'll see you then," Kim said.

"Goodnight," Chase said quietly.

"Bye," Kim said, hanging up with a smile on her face.

Kim woke up, confused that it was still dark. She looked at her nightstand to see that it was only two in the morning; she had been asleep for hardly two hours. She decided to get up and get a glass of water and maybe watch some T.V. Walking into the kitchen, she heard noises. Jack, Audrey, Tony and Michelle were sitting around the living room, laughing and drinking.

"What are you guys still doing here," she asked, squinting in the bright light, her hair disheveled.

"Well look whose up," Jack said.

Kim could tell he was drunk, and looking around, she noticed that they all seemed tipsy.

"Are you guys drunk?" she asked.

"Just a little," Michelle said, giggling.

Kim laughed. She walked into the kitchen and got herself a glass of water.

"What are you doing up anyway, sweetie?" Jack asked.

"Couldn't sleep," she said, "But I think I'll let you guys get back to your drinking."

She turned to leave.

"Goodnight again," Audrey called after her.

Kim shook her head, laughing and held up a hand in goodbye without even turning her face around.

In the morning, Kim went into the kitchen and got some orange juice. She started to make pancakes when Audrey walked in.

"Morning Audrey," Kim said.

"Oh, hi Kim," she said, squinting and putting her hand to her head.

"I suppose you're gonna need some Advil this morning," Kim said, laughing.

"Definitely," she said laughing, "Oh, and Michelle and I were wondering if you wanted to have lunch out with us today?"

"Yeah, that'd be fun," Kim said.

"Good," she said, grabbing pancakes.

The phone rang.

"Hello?" Kim said into the phone.

"Hey," came Chase's voice.

"Hey you," said Kim, grinning.

Kim saw Audrey smile out of the corner of her eye.

"So, we on for dinner tonight?" Chase asked her.

"Yeah. What time?"

"I'll pick you up at 7:30, okay?"

"Okay," Kim said, smiling.

"I love you," Chase said.

"Love you too," Kim said, hanging up the phone.

Audrey allowed Kim a moment.

"Look at you, so in love," she said in a teasing voice.

"Aw, shut up Audrey," Kim said with a smile.

"Do I smell pancakes?" Jack asked, walking into the kitchen in his boxers and a t-shirt.

"Good morning," Kim said cheerfully to her dad.

He walked over to her and kissed her on the forehead, next going over and kissing Audrey briefly on the lips, and then continuing to the stove to grab pancakes.

"What are you doing today ladies?" he asked.

"Michelle, Kim and I are going to lunch," Audrey said, grabbing plates for her and Jack as Kim had already eaten.

"And then I'm going out with Chase tonight," Kim said, pouring juice and just a little nervous her dad was going to bring up last night.

"Is that so?" he said, seemingly thinking.

"Yes, but don't worry, this time we'll make out at his place," she said with a humorous expression on her face, leaving the kitchen to get dressed.

Jack stared after her, mouth slightly open.

"It's like she wants me to go insane," he said, Audrey putting her arms around his neck.

Audrey giggled slightly. She understood that Jack was really protective of Kim, but also understood, as her, Michelle, and Kim had become closer friends lately, that Kim was frustrated with the fact that sometimes he was overprotective.

"Come on baby, lets eat some breakfast," she said turning him and leading him over to their waiting food.

Later that day, Kim, Michelle, and Audrey were sitting in a nice Italian restaurant ordering food. Once they finished that, they started to gossip.

"So, how's it with Chase?" Michelle asked Kim.

She smiled slightly shyly

"Or maybe, we shouldn't even bother asking, Michelle. I mean, they looked like their relationship was getting along pretty well last night on the couch," Audrey said, giggling with Michelle.

"Shut up, guys," Kim said, laughing as well.

"No but really," Audrey said, stopping laughing.

Michelle and Audrey waited patiently for her response.

"Well, it's going pretty good. What do you want me to say?" Kim asked, chuckling.

"Well, have you guys, you know, slept together yet?" Audrey asked, Michelle looking incredibly curious.

"No, we haven't yet," Kim said after a pause.

"No?" said Michelle.

"No," Kim confirmed, "But I think maybe tonight."

"Really?" Audrey said with renewed interest.

"Why tonight?" Michelle asked.

"Because we've waited long enough," she said with a smile.

"Damn," Audrey said, giggling, "you little tease."

They all laughed, and Kim hit her on the arm.

"What about you, Audrey?" said Michelle.

"What about me?" asked Audrey.

"Well, how's the relationship going?" Michelle asked.

"Good, Jack is so great," Audrey said.

"Oh, please guys, he's my dad," Kim said.

"But also very sexy," said Audrey, smiling.

"Eww, my dad is not sexy."

"Yes he is," said Audrey.

"Absolutely," agreed Michelle, "But don't tell Tony I said so."

She smiled at the thought of Tony.

"How long have you guys been married now?" Kim asked.

"Almost a year and a half," Michelle said, grinning widely.

"And you're still smitten," said Audrey, shaking her head and laughing.

"Is Tony romantic? I've always kinda wondered," said Kim, Audrey looking very interested.

"Oh yes," Michelle said, looking down with a huge smile on her face, "More than you'd think."

"Example?" asked Audrey.

"For our anniversary he took me to the restaurant we went to on our first date, and when I got home there were candles and roses everywhere," she said, grinning at the memory.

"Oh, very sweet," said Kim.

"What about Chase, is he romantic?" asked Michelle.

Kim paused, thinking hard.

"Yes, I mean, he is, but we haven't actually done anything incredibly romantic yet. But for some reason, he's able to make it unbelievably romantic, even if we're just walking around or doing something that is so not what you would think of as romantic. Does that make sense?"

"Yes," said Audrey.

Right then their food came. They continued to chat for awhile about random things.

"Kim," Michelle said.

"Yeah," said Kim in between mouthfuls of her pasta.

"Do you have anything to wear tonight? I think a shopping trip might be in order."

Kim smiled at her.

"I agree," said Audrey, "Whataya say we ditch the boys for the rest of the day, and go shopping."

"Sounds good to me," said Kim.

Michelle nodded her head in agreement. Once they had finished their meals they paid and left, heading out to fill the rest of the day with shopping.

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