6:52 AM - Consider this your last warning.
Current mood: angry
Category: Friends

This is really the only warning any one is going to get, so if you didn't get the memo by the next time I throw you out and tell you not to come back, tough luck.

People who are in altered states of mind should not drop by and visit sober friends without some sort of warning.  It's annoying as shit when you're friends show up drunk, loud and obnoxious.  But the ones that are high as a kite just piss me off.  First off, you all know better than to bring drugs into my house.  And the next person to tell me it's just pot while in my home is going to be punched in the face.

In three days time I had three different friends show up on three different mind altering substances.  And, while it's no secret that I love to indulge in a beer or four myself, it's just fucking annoying when your friend's start showing up at random times, without warning, for no apparent purpose.   So seriously, stop it!  Like it's not bad enough that you're high, drunk and obnoxious as hell, You're doing it with no consideration of the fact that I actually have a life.  It sucks that my life can't revolve around my friends. But, I suppose that's the priceyou pay for having things like a husband and kids and a career.

Currently reading : The End of Manners: A Novel By Francesca Marciano Release date: 2008-05-20

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4:20 PM - Do not try this at home.
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Life

I used to be a real snob about hair color.  As long as I've had Dacia to turn to, there was no way I was allowing an ammetuer job in my hair.  But now that she owns the salon and her time is so much more valuable and every one else who works for her is depending on her, guilt prevents me from further using and abusing our friendship.  So I got a box ::cringe:: to cover the gray. 

It's not so bad.  I mean, obviously it's not great, but it's all the same color and there's no gray.  I miss my highlights, and one day maybe I'll be able to pay a fair price for them again, but until then, this will have to do. 

Mario put it in for me, I followed the directions, mostly.  I left it in for 8 minutes too long because the kids were taking their dear, sweet time brushing their teeth.  Then afterwards, Mario and I retreated behind our screen for some private NC-17 time. 

You know how when your hair is long, you're bound to eat some of it every single time you give head, and you just learn to not notice it anymore?  Well, it's impossible to ignore when you've just done your hair.  The taste was awful, way worse than the smell, it's actually shocking just how awful it is.  And the worst part is that it stays in your mouth for, so far, 12ish hours. 

I've come to the conclusion that this is my punishment for doing the box thing.   I don't remember smelling and tasting dye in my hair after Dacia did it.  And I know that I washed it all out, the water ran clear.  Bleh... Either I need to figure out how to supress that concience thing and just take advantage of the salon again or I need to not give head for a week after I dye my own hair.

Currently watching : Rear Window (Collector’s Edition) Release date: 2001-03-06

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1:35 PM - Life with Kids
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Life

I like to think that my children are well behaved, polite, considerate etc.  I don't put my kids in the same category as those that are "out of control" or "problem children."  But lately I feel that somewhere along the way I was too loose or too something.  The fighting is out of control.

Two of three days I have to give myself pep talks to keep from locking them in their rooms and feeding them like prisoners.  I remind myself every day, sometimes a hundred times in the same day that seperating them on a permanent basis will only relieve my stress, it won't teach them anything.  But the temptation to relieve that stress really is strong some days. 

I don't know what to do.  They bicker constantly over stupid stuff.  They can't speaks nicely to each other like they do everyone else.  Sometimes they resort to throwing things and hitting.  I know they love each other.  Once in a while they are so self sacrificing in the interest of the other, but most of the time, I just want to outlaw siblings. 

I've looked to more experienced mothers for advice.  My mother seperated us all the time, we came out alright, but I don't have a vehicle with three rows of seating, an eight bedroom house or the safe environment to kick them out all day, that she had.  A family friend named Stephanie suggested tying them to each other for a day so they were forced to cooperate.  One, they're not young enough to take away their privacy like that, they need to at least use the restrooms seperately.  And two, I honestly believe that close proximity would drive me to desperate acts of a less than savory nature.  Every one else just says that it's perfectly normal and they'll outgrow it in 10 years or so.  How will I make it another 10 years?

Even as I type, they sit arguing over who gets the black blanket and who gets the brown blanket.  I respond by taking away both blankets so that no one wins.  I mean, they're exactly the friggin same, just different colors.  Same fabric, same stuffing, same size.  AAAAAaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!  Some one save them from the day that I finally lose it. 

Maybe I should go ahead and do it.  Just how traumatizing do you think it would be if I made them both live in their rooms for a week.  Scheduled teeth brushing time, scheduled bathroom breaks, scheduled, SEPERATE meal times, etc.  You think they'd learn to appreciate the freedom of hanging out together without me lording over them, or do you think it would be a waste of time?  Something's gotta give, and I am screwing this one up.

Currently watching : An American Tail - The Mystery of the Night Monster Release date: 2004-01-20

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8:55 PM - It’s not even my birthday.
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Music

The other day the kid's great uncle showed up to treat us to lunch at the Crab Shack and told me that he was taking me to Best Buy for a suprise.  They didn't have it, so we went to Wal-Mart instead.

He got me a 2gig Creative Zen.  WooHoo!  I cnan put pics of the kids and videos and music on it.  It will carry my contacts and calendar and what not, but I have a phone for that, so I won't be using up valuable space on that stuff.  And to top it all off, it's pink.  I have no idea why he got it for me, but I'm very grateful.

Righ now I have entire albums by...

Aerosmith, Avril Lavigne, Billy Idol, Black Eyed Peas, Buckcherry, Carlos Santana, Deep Forest, Fergie, Frank Sinatra, Greenday, Martina McBride, Pink, Queen and some photos of the kids.

Cleaning the house has never been this much fun.

Currently listening : Billy Idol - Greatest Hits By Billy Idol Release date: 2001-03-27

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10:59 PM - No More Stage Fright
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Life

Today was Aurora's second recital, Doll on a Music Box.  Friends and family approached this day with a certain amount of trepidation.  See, last year, Aurora never made it up on stage and had a serious meltdown when Grandma tried to drag her up there.  Don't blame me, she's not my mother and she didn't get my permission to traumatize the kid.

This year I really didn't play down the recital, as many mothers told me that I should.  Fact is, it is a pretty big deal.  One, it's what she's practiced for and worked towards all year long. (Ballet season lasts 11 months.)  Two, it's very expensive.  And Three, her company mates, who have been practicing with her, are counting on her.

I didn't, however, make it into a larger than life commitment that her entire life was riding on.  I was simply honest... "Do you want to pay production fees and buy the costume?" "Yes, I'm going to dance."  "You know that you have to keep your commitment to go up on stage if you say yes..."  "Yep, I'm going on stage."

Anyway, I was right.  It wasn't too much pressure, it's something she loves, and I am a better judge of how much pressure my own kid can and can't handle than anyone else.  When we got to the theatre, she went to the company dressing room, without me or Grandma.  All by her little lonesome, she went back there, warmed up, went on stage, danced, smiled and went back to help the other girls with their costumes.  Right on cue, she came out for her final bow at the end of it all.

I am that diva mommy that let's it go to her head.  She was such a little star, I'm still beaming.  I think I cried through her entire routine.  ::sigh::  It's so bittersweet to watch them grow.  I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything in the world. 

I have some before and after shots, but while she was on stage, in costume, I was videoing (Is that a word?) the dance.  I'll post that clip too.

Aurora getting ready to have her make-up done.

I told you she was a little star... Everyone was so impressed by her performance, they just couldn't get enough of her.

Ever the loving brother, Louis greets his little ballerina with a dozen roses for her accomplishment.

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4:36 AM - Awesome Pic
Current mood: calm
Category: Art and Photography

I got this comment from a friend and just loved it so much that I decided to share it with the world.

Currently watching : Scrubs - The Complete Third Season Release date: 2006-05-09

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5:41 AM - Plan Ahead
Current mood: blustery
Category: Food and Restaurants

So I've got a menu, it's normal by bar-b-que standards.  Lots of meat, salady stuff, soda and finger food.  And I've got an ice chest full of goodies like Smirnoff, beer and Mike's Hard Lemonade.  I decided to make some sangria for the crowd as well.  So I tried my recipe tonight and it sucks.  Anyone got a good one? 

Currently listening : 15 By Buckcherry Release date: 2006-04-11

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6:19 PM - Is nothing sacred?
Current mood: amused
Category: News and Politics

I love it when something in the news is so funny, that Mario actually has to call me up to tell me about it.  For instance, who's curiosity isn't spraked by the phrase, "God was arrested in a Florida church."

Here's the story, my version...

30+ years ago some hippie, the scary kind, produced a kid and named it God Lucky Howard.  Then, according to the laws of nature this kid turned out to be less than normal and enjoyed the drugs as much as mommy and daddy had.  Like most people, that kid chose to make his living as an adult, doing what he knew best.  And what he knew was how to sell coke to undercover cops.

I don't know how much 22 grams of cocaine is, but it's obviously more than the police like to find in your home when executing a search warrant.  That's beside the fact that no city official looks kindly on that coke being distributed within arms reach of a school, a church and public housing.  Needless to say, God will be spending the better part of the next decade or two, sans free will.  Isn't irony fun?

Australia's Herald Sun appreciated the humor of the story.

The St. Petersburg Herald would like the world to know that their's is not the only God in trouble with the law.

He even got a shout out from Canada's National Post. The whole world is talking about it.

Currently playing : Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures Release date: 2008-06-03

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3:29 PM - Gotta Love the Irish
Current mood: calm
Category: Parties and Nightlife

Here's an Irish Car Bomb laid out for all of you step-by-step.  Try it, it's awesome.  The mixture of flavors leaves you with a nutty and almost chocolatey flavor.  And don't slam them back one after the other, they do hit you pretty hard, one is sufficient and then you can nurse a great cider afterwards.

Step One: Pour half a bottle of Guiness into a large beer glass...

Step Two: Pour one ounce each of Bailey's Irish Cream and Jemeson Irish Whiskey into a clean shotglass.  It does matter that the outside of the glass is both clean and dry...

Step Three: Toast your shots and your beers and drop the shot glass into your beer glass...

Step Four: Drink the contents of the entire glass, all at once...

Step Five:  Pop open another bottle for the people waiting in line behind you.

Currently watching : The Nanny - The Complete Second Season Release date: 2006-05-02

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9:16 PM - Never too late for a fart joke.
Current mood: artistic
Category: Parties and Nightlife

A week ago I went to a friend's birthday party and had a fucking blast.  I really didn't expect to (no offense Heather).  But I was in a really bad mood when I got there.  Another friend had pissed me off royally moments before.

What happened was that I walked into the house, was greeted by an antisocial lab and a group of seriously-uber-social-mega-talkative friends.  It took minutes for her friends to become my friends.  Every one was chatting and joking, the whole thing was just too much fun to put into words.  My favorite part of the evening was when I had to fight not to pee my pants during the fart stories. 

Thanks guys for teaching me what a 'dutch oven' is. 

Thank you more for not demonstrating.

We took tons of pictures and drank lots of Irish Car Bombs.  I'll post all the pics when my camera batteries are cooperating long enough for me to get them off of the camera.

Currently watching : Anger Management (Widescreen Edition) Release date: 2003-09-16

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4:09 PM - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Current mood: breezy
Category: Music

Yesterday I didn't care one way or the other about the Plain White T's.  They're catchy enough.  I like that Delilah song and Our Time Now is very catchy.  That's about it though, they're catchy not special.  Good for them, I wish them all the best.

Today however, I think I need to get the CD or they need to release a few more vidoes, 'cause I'm getting sick of watching the same four over and over and over and over.  It's really cute to see my four year old daughter boncing around the house singing "what you do to me" and all, but I'm done with it.

She's her mother.  I need to soundproof her room now, before it gets any worse.

Currently listening : Every Second Counts By Plain White T's Release date: 2007-02-26

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8:51 AM - Taking Credit
Current mood: pleased
Category: School, College, Greek

People ask me what I want to accomplish with my life often, and my response always has something to do with the type of people my children will be.  I want them to be ethical, generous, accountable, intelligent, humble, strong, etc.  I take a lot of credit for their failures and accomplishments as I'm the one that guided them to this point and taught them how to make these decisions.  As proud as I am, though, I have to give credit for working hard to accomplish as much as they can to the little ones themselves.  You can lead a kid to school, but you can't force him to learn.  Here are the awards that Louis received at Wednesday's Odessey Charter School Awards Ceremony.  Sorry, I have no pictures of the ceremony itself.

All the kids get a Certificate of Completion at the end of every year to comemorate their sucessful passage to a new grade.

Two years in a row on the honor roll.

Some kids get this American Citizenship Award for their efforts in the community.  Louis cleaned up graffiti.

That pin is for having all "E's" in citizenship two years in a row.

Currently reading : With a Tangled Skein (Book Three of Incarnations of Immortality) By Piers Anthony Release date: 1986-09-12

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8:42 AM - I rest my case.
Current mood: energetic
Category: News and Politics

The other night, while stranded on the side of the road for four hours with nothing better to do than talk, my brother and I turned the conversation to drunken driving.  Seems we each had a friend or two that was downright idiotic about it.  Hey, shit happens right 

"Wrong!!!"  We do this 'shit' ourselves.

I told him that when I was faced with the opportunity to confront my friend, I resorted to illustration:

"If I offered you $500,000 to walk outside and shoot the very next person you see, point blank, regardless of age, gender color or creed, do you think you'd be able to just go for it?"

"No."

"Why are you willing to get in your car and kill some random person that you don't know for free then?"

"Hmm... never thought about it that way.  But it's not exactly the same you know.  I'm not going to go out there and run someone over on purpose."

"Uh, how do you figure?  You did purposely take the last five rounds, right?"

"Yeah."

"You did purposely look at your watch right?"

"Yeah."

"You did make a concious, purposeful decision to get up and get going to where you needed to be right?"

"Yeah."

'"Okay, so when you lose concentration for a second and run into the car full of random kids, grandparents, brothers, sister, friends and lovers that you didn't expect to be in front of you, you can live with the fact that you did, purposely, get into the car and drive into whatever happened to be in you way."

Agree or not, it's true.  You just don't like it, 'cause you don't want to be held accountable for your actions one day, and I'm sure not going to be standing here making excuses for you.  I'm simply not that good of a friend.

Here's an article that shows what happens when smart people get too stupid to think about every one else that might be on the road with them...

1 dead as car plows into Mexican bike race

Currently listening : Paint the Sky with Stars: The Best of Enya By Enya Release date: 1997-11-11

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8:32 AM - End of an Era
Current mood: breezy
Category: Blogging

So my month of questions is officially expired.  I have to say that overall it was a bit of a disappointment.  The questions I answered were fun, but I didn't get a whole lot of good ones to choose from on most days.  Then there was my own hiatus.  So all-in-all, I just didn't do what I originally intended.

So now we're back to the regular blogs, and I'll make a point of finding some interesting topics.

Currently watching : How To Marry A Millionaire Release date: 2001-05-29

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7:05 PM - Question a day - May 22, 2008
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Friends

What did you do for your birthday?

As with every major celebratory event in my life, I had two days for celebration.  Day one, May 18th was my Tracie day and day two, May 19th (actual birthday) was my family day.

Sunday started with some at home issues like exploding toilets and what not, but by 11am I was on my way to Traice's house.  I was only 3 hours late, so since it was my birthday, I was still within the realm of forgivable tardiness.  When I got to her place we quickly got ready to head toward the spa.

We're going to start getting ready to go out at my place instead of hers.  Every time we ask her dad to take a picture of us before we leave, he somehow messes it up.

So after massages and hairwashes and oatmeal in our faces and a dip in a way to warm pool, we hung out in front of Tracie's trailer and fired up the grill.  P.S.  we did that without any manly help.  Tracie made sure to collect my favorite doritos, cheap beer and bar-b-que sauce.  And she prebaked some awesome pork ribs. 

The idea was that the two of us, just the two of us, would have a couple beers, eat a little too much, put on our short skirts and make-up and take the bus to Body English to dance all night.  The idiocy involved in that plan was that we grilled a rack of ribs in a trailer park.  That's like the call of the wild to all rednecks within a five mile radius. 

I don't know half of those people's names.

Monday started with Mario waking me up at 5 am to be the first one to wish me a happy birthday on the correct day before heading off to work.  Then I spent the rest of the day like most Monday's: meeting with Louis' teacher, dishes, laundry, barbies, Louis gave me half of his fish for my birthday and we all colored mickey mouse for a while. 

Then Mario came home from work, covered head to toe in pitch.  As usual, he headed straight for the shower.  When he got out he laughed about the black ring of filth around the tub and suggested I take a look.  Men like to gross women out.  When I got in the bathroom, the tub was full of water and there was a bottle floating in the water.  In the bottle was a message...

That clue led me to the swamp cooler.  In that recess was a pirate's hat weighted down with a cute painted brick.  Glued inside the pirate hat was another piece of paper...

This time I was led to Louis' room.  In his 'bat-cave' he has a life sized, stuffed Spiderman.  Spidey was wearing an eyepatch, under which, was another piece of paper...

From there I went to the front door.  My ceiling is natural wood with large beams running north/south for support.  Walking into the house while looking up, I was able to see a pirate knife hot glued to the first support beam.  I climbed up, pulled it down and broke the handle off.  Inside, was another piece of paper...

This final clue informed me that if I went into my backyard, started at the firepit and walked a few steps diagonally across the yard, I would then need to pull up the kid's tent and dig a hole.  In the hole, I found a large box, that took fifteen minutes and lots of help to dislodge.  Mario carried it in the house, and I went and found a large knife.

Having been witness to Mario's idea of "fun" gift wrap many times before, I knew what was coming...

Underneath 1200 feet of saranwrap and some aluminum foil was a new boardgame.  It's right up my alley.  It's called Man Laws and Woman Rules.  I'll explain all the intricacies when you come to my next game night and we play it.  All in all, it was one of my most memorable and fun birthday's ever.  It's going to be next to impossible to show this one up.

There will be a video up shortly of the unwrapping {sawing} of the gift.

** Question courtesy of Pheadra

Currently reading : Bearing An Hourglass (Incarnations of Immortality, Book 2) By Piers Anthony Release date: 1985-09-12

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