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http://www.cricketsoda.com/content/movies/steel_reserve_realty_watch.php

11:58 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Attention Bitches

Me and my roommate were discussing how beautiful you were, and how fucked up it was that I have only received two emails including boobies. We have decided that it would be best if you, if you are attractive and have them, send them to me at thedonkeypuncher@hotmail.com.

Please. I haven't been able to get a girlfriend since I started posting all my webcam movies. Women think I am pathetic and emo, and will not send me pictures of their magnificent mounds.

I'm in need. I haven't gotten laid in like 3 weeks.

Currently listening : Power Out By Arcade Fire Release date: 24 May, 2005

12:44 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Chuck to the Head

Watch the new video, and tell me how much of an asshole my roommate is.

It'll make me feel better about my life.

1:09 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Being emo is kind of like being a capitalist...

So I went ahead and okayed the cheap, online, public marketing of assortedly bizarre pictures of myself on it.

If I ever saw someone wearing a t-shirt, or thong, with a picture of me hanging on a flagpole.... I will cream my pants and send them something fabulous.

Visit here, at least for a laugh!

9:57 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I have really bad strep throat...and it made me cry.
Current mood: thirsty

My girlfriend broke up with me because I can't make out with her anymore. I'm really sad. The one thing that would make me happy, are pictures of beautiful girls... with their shirts off... but well, nobody would send an emo boy like me, pictures like that...

I think I'm going to write a song about it.

Currently listening : I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness By I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness Release date: 18 November, 2003

1:37 PM - 4 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The world is spinning so fast!

I went to this party last night, and there was this group of girls who noticed me from the videos. They were really hott, and they were sharing a bottle of Grey Goose vodka between eachother. So I was sitting indian style on the floor in the living room, browsing through the homeowner's record collection, when I pulled out this BADASS UBER RARE Cat Stevens record. And everybody knows Cat Stevens invented emo (duh!). The girls who were sitting around me happened to LOVE the Cat... so they invited me over to do some shots with them.
They played with my hair for what felt like forever, and then they started arguing about which one of them would be "cutest" with me, "in a couple.."
I thought they were all really gorgeous and trendy, so I told them I lived in an 8 bedroom house right around the corner, and had enough room for all of them. At least for the evening. They were kewl with it, so we took another six or seven shots, and got into the ringleader's Jeep.
 I instantly fell in love with all of them, because the first song that played was Weezer's "Only in Dreams." We all sang along, took some more shots while driving down the road, and when the silence which came at the end of the song took reign over the car... the girls in the backseat took off their shirts and exposed their volumptuous features.
Oh my god.
 I had never seen such beautiful bosoms in my whole life.
So I passed back the bottle of Grey Goose.
And then we arrived at my place. We weren't even in the front yard by the time the driver started making out with me. I was like, totally in heaven. All these girls were fighting eachother for me. It was totally hot. Straight up.
That's when the shit hit the fan though. The girl driving wouldn't give me up to the other girls, and being in the drunken stupor they were in, their hormones became impossible to conquer... and the next thing I knew, there was this drunken bitch brawl in my front yard. A naked drunken bitch brawl always sounded awesome. But that's when my room mates woke up and came outside to see what was up.
I have to admit I felt like a pimp. All my roomies got to see the power which is emo. In my pants. I was cocky, at first. But then they all noticed how many male room mates I had, and started rubbing up on them!
I WAS SO PISSED.
Lucky for me, the driver stayed the night with me. She got one of her front teeth knocked out, and admitted later on that she was the mother of four kids. I wonder what her name was.

2:09 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I need validation to fill the empty space my father left...

Love me.

12:15 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Like, oh my god, the best news in the world (of emo)!!!

Saddle Creek to release compilation DVD!

I'm so stoked I wet my nancy pants!

Currently listening : What's New for Fall By Desaparecidos

10:09 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The spike trodden path of dark bleeding agony...
Current mood: anxious

Today when I woke up, there was a completely empty house. I became very, very paranoid... thinking that for sure my heinous room mates were to jump out of every room with padded, or even unpadded baseball bats. I stood there in my PJs shuddering with my eyes closed. I knew that at any second I was to be mercilessly pummeled, so I took several steps into the living room, and noticing the television was left on, I leaned over the futon to make sure there was nobody crashed out from a previous night of debauchery.
Lucky for me, there was nobody. I've NEVER had the house to myself - not even once! I ran outside to check for cars. The driveway was empty. I ran inside to listen through the doors into their bedrooms. I heard neither football, squishy porno lotion motion,  nor video game. The house really was empty. It was baffling.
So I ran back into the living room, stripped down to my girl-cut boxer briefs and turned on the Faint. I danced in my living room for like... 5 minutes. Then I went back into my room to avoid any sneak surprise warfare. You never know when one of them would be busting into the living room.
But dancing in my living room in my underwear makes me feel so unique (heh heh, I said butt dancing). I've never been more liberated in my entire life. I'm going to start doing this way more often, and I suggest you do the same. And send me pictures, so I know you aren't a dirty, filthy, sexy, dirty liar. I'm really depressed and think that these kinds of pictures might make my life less empty. Do help me. I need the self esteem to evade my next attack.

Currently listening : Blank-wave Arcade By The Faint Release date: 01 November, 1999

9:06 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Crucifixion equals pain.
Current mood: crazy

I don't really feel like talking about this, but I was walking home from a radical party, to which I was asked to leave for changing the music... which sucks... but as soon as I got home, I was fucking ambushed by a bunch of frat guys and their girlfriends. Those fuckers got my leather pants wet, and it took me two hours to peel them off of my leg. I'm so fucking pissed.

GRRRR!!!!! X<(

 

Currently listening : Swiss Army Romance [Bonus Tracks] By Dashboard Confessional Release date: 22 April, 2003

12:29 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment