A new fave poem, though not my own
Current mood: excited
Category: Writing and Poetry

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If - Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you But make allowance for their doubting too, If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream--and not make dreams your master, If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!" If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much, If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

Today I just wrote an editorial on growing up. I think certain things may have changed my mind.

Currently listening : Just So By Nick Moss Release date: 29 June, 2006

6:12 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Supergirl Grounded
Category: Writing and Poetry

*written partially off of realizations from a certain acting class, and partially from creating my own story as a young director

I can't be superwoman -
I can't save the world from feeling.
Try as I might to make things seem right,
I need to live and let die.

Despite all the tears I had shed,
That hasn't changed a thing.
I know that worry leads to naught,
But I can't help myself.

Everyone tells me, "don't be the hero" or
"Being too nice leads to trouble one day,"
But that's who I am and what I want to be -
I control myself, but choose to care.

Though I know it does no good, I'll let myself cry
Bitter tears of salt for the plight of humanity
I want to be blissfully self-absorbed; to be devoid of feeling,
But not uncaring.

I have given up on trying to be everything -
To please everyone and save every man.
But every day I pray and cry
For the depravation of spirits and failings of them.

I know one who can do it all,
He reminds me I shouldb't go it alone.
I'm no superhuman, that's for sure.
I cannot sacrifice myself for the greater good, and should not.

While I can't save the world,
I am still needed to care,
To pray, to teach, to sing, to write,
And, most importantly, to love.

Currently listening : Love By The Beatles Release date: 21 November, 2006

7:49 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Saving You Saving Me *song/poem*
Current mood: content
Category: Writing and Poetry

ok just so everyone is aware, I AM normally a happy person, I just vent out negativity through writing. Luckily, this one is more hopeful. I wonder if the person I wrote this in mind of will get it...

I'm watching you as you stand on the cliff,
Watching life by.
You can't escape - your shackles are so tight
You swear that you'll die.

Oh, how I wish I could save you from yourself,
But I just can't seem to get through. Can anyone else?

I cried protests as I was held back.
I didn't know what else to do.
Of all my cries I forgot the one thing
I needed to save you.

Oh, how I wish I could save you from yourself
But all I tried couldn't get through. Could anything else?

Freestanding now - you didn't need my help.
You were strong alone.
Now I suppose I'm the one who needed you.
I'm just glad I'm not alone.

You came to save me from my frozen, bitter snow.
You are the greatest angel I'll ever know.
Your arms surrounding me, you opened up my eyes
And blinking through the tears I began to realize

I needed you to save me from myself.
Heartbroken, soon I must leave thee.
You'll find someone else.

Currently listening : Spring Awakening (2006 Original Broadway Cast) By Duncan Sheik Release date: 12 December, 2006

7:37 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

uuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh *rant*
Current mood: impatient

arghhh waitingwaiting and life. all right so I auditioned for Agnes of God at DCP a month ago, they never caled th9ough they said they would. I tried to reach them twice, still no answer. I figure they're too busy with Beauty and the Beast (performing next week) to bother with a show in June. BUT in wait for the call, I decided not to do the T&K show, and might have to choose between the show and a jazz recital. my jazz teacher knows and shes mad about it. I'm supposed to tell them whether or not I can do it in the next few weeks, but considering Ihaven't gotten a call yet I CAN'T! And then there's Saturdays. I find out soon if I made the masters class for advanced musical theatre at walnut street and if I did, I have to not teach Sat. morning classes this spring. SO no matter what I do i'm going to lose/sacrifice something. I hate it. There are way too many choices, and most of all some people aren't owning up. I hate it.

5:21 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

No More Tears in My Sleep
Current mood: depressed
Category: Writing and Poetry

No more tears in my sleep-
Done it too many times before.
Expect the worst, don't hope for the best-
Then dissappointment can't break through.
Trust no one but yourself-
Then no excuses can be made for failure.
Detatch yourself, build up your defenses-
Then no one can hurt you and you can't hurt them.
Maintain a low self-esteem-
Then pain is dulled when the blows are struck.
No more tears in my sleep -
Done it too many times before.

But what can become of me by this?
Drifting on a ravaged ship of crushed hopes,
Drowning appears imminent. Who will be my rescuer?
Surely not he who promised to always be there
Nor she, the ever-helpful angel of mercy.
Anonymous lovers save me from myself,
Holding me in their sweet embrace
And making no promises made to be broken.

No more tears in my sleep.

Currently listening : The Black Parade By My Chemical Romance Release date: 24 October, 2006

7:04 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Abstract
Current mood: cold
Category: Writing and Poetry

Someone get me off this pedastol;
I'm tired of posing here.
No matter what I do or say
I'm perfect in your eyes.
I'm sick of it.
This view of an angel plastered on me,
One incapable of hate,
Dreaming solely of love and bliss,
The sweet, innocent thing.
I'm sick of it.
You marvel at my lifestyle,
You gaze at my prescence,
Wondering how I do it all.
It never crosses your mind that I don't.
I'm sick of it.
I'm not a statue of marble
Nor an object of beauty.
I'm a crude, abstract acrylic
Not a pristine watercolor.
I'm sick of it.
Just look at me
Without that lumber in your eye.
You will clearly see
A fallible, human, complexity
Too sick to be average,
Too safe to be extraordinary.
Abstract.
Me.

Currently listening : The Open Door By Evanescence Release date: 03 October, 2006

4:07 PM - 1 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

The Perfect Mirror
Current mood: pessimistic
Category: Writing and Poetry

The sun illuminates the light mist hovering over the
water
The water in which all the world is reflected
Until a disturbance arises from beneath the surface
Momentarily breaking the perfect mirror
The water pulsates as the ripples multiply
All because a single sunfish swiftly skimmed the edge
of the portal between the two worlds
Mold and algae rise
Now the mirror is permanently distorted
This perfect mirror of imperfection
Which reveals the crooked nature of earth
Mirrors tell no lies
They only reveal the truth

6:14 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Q&A
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Writing and Poetry

Why are you still here?
Can't you see i'm better off without you?
Can't you see I do well on my own?

Your fiery passion keeps you here.
Your passion keeps you in an alternate universe
I am not to be trusted, not a "novice" such as I.

Why do you refuse to see what's staring you in the face?
Can't you own up to your blunders?
Can't you accept you're not perfect?

You don't refuse to see, you're simply blind.
To you, the blunders are not your own.
Imperfection is normalcy. You don't want to be normal.

Why do you create your own drama?
Can't you see you're hurting yourself by insisting on standing alone?
Can't you see faking may make people laugh, but not love?

You crave attention, seeking to satiate an unquenchable thirst.
Standing alone makes others notice you, noticing is all it takes
You lost sight of love long, long, ago.

6:15 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

China doll *song/poem*
Category: Writing and Poetry

Painted on face that I'm tired of wearing
Just to fit in with society
I want to bloom but nobody's caring
They want my mask of humility

But i'm sick of being a china doll
So cute and fun and sweet
But how can I break through it all
When I don't know who I am?

Paint's washing off but what's left in it's place
I pray that I like what I see
How long can I keep going at this pace
While picking up what's left of me?

But i'm sick of being a china doll
So cute and fun and sweet
But how can I break through it all
When I don't know who I am?

Glued back together there's still some cracks
But at least i'm starting to get a clue
With this new knowledge i'm still not sure what
Exactly I am supposed to do

Cuz I'm sick of being a china doll
So cute and fun and sweet
But how can I break through it all
When I don't know who I am?

I think...I might know who I am

7:49 PM - 6 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

Fallen Wall *song/poem*
Category: Writing and Poetry

A heart of stone
There ain't nothing getting through you today
You sit emotionless
Nothing's gonna move you in any way
You're so hard to get and you love it
You're so hard to get and you love it

A sturdy wall made of pure stone
Strong and silent in the storm
But how long will this cover last
Before questions leave you torn

The earthquake comes
And it rocks you to the core; you fall
The builders all arrived
Guess humanity cared after all
Now you're open and you love it
Now you're open and love it

A sturdy wall made of pure stone
So you finally broke down
You'll never be the same again
But now you're on solid ground

Just start again

7:45 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment