McCain spokesman Brian Rogers said the ad posting was a mistake by the Wall Street Journal.
Maybe so, but that means that the campaign had issued the graphic to the WSJ ad team in advance. Is there anything the McCain campaign can't get wrong? It's like a TV series you know they're going to yank off the air soon, but you keep hoping for a few more episodes just to see what kind of can't-look-away stupidity the characters will engage in next.
I know, I know, it's very possible that something will occur tonight to make the mainstream media fall in love with Mac all over again, and the above ad basically reproduced as a headline. It's just astonishing, in any case, that the campaign allowed for the chance that an ad like that could appear after, say, a distastrous debate performance by their candidate.
Come to think of it, it's downright stupefying that they opted not to choose a picture that doesn't make their candidate look like a creepy old uncle whose final bucket-list item is to cop one more feel...
Okay, I admit: if a band of Blink182 clones came along with a catalog of songs about nothing save how awesome Obama and Hillary are, they'd wear just as thin just as fast. The Bush-worship here just adds that extra amount of hurr.
On a side note: good for them on making a video with production values, but nobody should ever have to view a closeup of that guy's corpulent, goateed pie-hole again. Ever.
Remember Lynn Westmoreland? He's the Republican Congressman who co-sponsored a bill to require the display of the Ten Commandments in the US House and the Senate. When Stephen Colbert asked him to name all ten, he made headlight-stunned deer look like chess prodigies.
Lynn has now decided to weigh in on Barack and Michelle Obama. He has decided he doesn't like them, and has no problem letting us know this by using very specific terms.
If only I were making this up:
“Honestly, I've never paid that much attention to Michelle Obama,” Westmoreland said. “Just what little I've seen of her and Senator [Barack] Obama, is that they're a member of an elitist class . . . that thinks that they're uppity.”
Not only did you read that right, but Lynn insists on giving you the chance to read it again:
The 58-year-old, Atlanta-born congressman declined to elaborate further, though he did repeat one part of his comment when asked to clarify.
“Uppity, you said?” he was asked.
“Yeah, uppity,” Westmoreland replied.
"Uppity".
Naturally, Westmoreland's office issued a response that basically goes "There was absolutely nothing racist in what he said, which is why we're in complete damage-control mode right now ".
I give it one month before a Repub drops the N-bomb on a live mic.
Congratulations on your nomination as Vice-President for the Republican Party's 2008 Presidential campaign. Please accept my sincere wishes for a happy life in Alaska, as well as long and happy lives for your children and grandchildren.
That said: fuck off.
Why, you may ask, are you being directed to fuck off? Oh, I could count the ways, but for now it's pretty much a result of your condescending and snotty jabs at Barack Obama's time as a community organizer. You basically told everyone who has ever worked tirelessly on the local level for community clinics, homeless shelters, affordable housing, after-school programs, job training, etc. that their efforts aren't worth shit.
Those jobs includes several responsibilities, none of them mandated on a city charter or enshrined in law. You have to care enough to take them on, be wise enough to know what they are, and use your skills to fulfill them.
Clearly, you didn't think keeping the city of Wasilla out of debt --- to the tune of about $20 million --- was among your "actual responsibilities" as Mayor. You did, however, feel it your responsibility to suggest to local librarians that the city might just want to ban certain books. Community organizers don't have that power, so it must be an awfully unfulfilling job, right?
In fairness, you do deserve credit for your ability to read a speech, prepared well in advance and tweaked slightly to suit your presence by a professional speechwriter, on a teleprompter.
I was already offering my support to your opponent, but rest assured that after tonight, I'll be donating to his campaign and volunteering my time to public service as much as possible.
Finally, just in case you've forgotten: fuck the fucking fuck off, you fucking asshole.
Why, you ask? Apart from being yet another in an increasingly long string of stressful days at the phone-monkey job, it contained the following:
Lunch time. I drive over to the Mickey D's about five minutes from work, order my supremely unhealthy meal, get it from the window, and pull out into the parking lot. To my left is a car-filled row of parking spaces.
I'm going about five MPH. I stop to set my soda in the holder and adjust its lid, served to me slightly ajar by the cashier. I also take a second to switch the radio from sports talk to music, as the baseball conversation is taking over and I find this particular sport more than a little bor ---
THUD!
My car's body lurches to the left, shaking me along with it. My left ear rings from my involuntary shout of "AAGH!", the sound bouncing into it from the door window. By the time my head manages to swivel in the direction of the impact, a black two-door vehicle is already pulling forward, back into its space. Its driver gets out. I follow suit.
A middle-aged woman is staring at me quizically. My passenger-side door and quarter-panel have a nice dent in them, one that I can already tell can't be fixed by that nifty little suction tool at a body shop. Her bumper has not a scratch nor a ding. She appears unhurt, but I still ask her if she's okay. Instead of answering in either the affirmative or negative, her face becomes even more befuddled as she asks "WHERE did you COME FROM???"
She hadn't seen me, a fact made fairly obvious at the moment of impact but confirmed beyond doubt now. "I was stopped. my car was in Park for at least five seconds before you hit me", I answered.
"I was LOOKING! You COULDN"T HAVE BEEN!"
I have no doubt in my mind that anyone on my friends list reading this, had they been the inadvertent perpetrator of damage in this scenario, would have realized their error and apologized to the other driver. This person seemed to genuinely believe that I'd materialized out of thin air; it was clearly time for me to refute this perception:
"Well, ma'am, I didn't materialize out of thin air."
Her jaw dropped. I'm sure my reply came off as rude and unnecessarily sarcastic, but neutral politeness had thus far failed to bring her back to reality. As her next reply told me, snark wasn't having much luck either:
"There is no WAY you could have been parked right there. I was LOOKING!!!"
My last ounce of patience was now gone, admittedly in short supply at the outset of this tale. I let loose with both barrels. "If you were looking behind you and STILL managed to hit me, then that doesn't really help your case much, does it??" I was yelling by this time, straining to avoid the use of any choice four-letter words.
As we exchanged insurance information, she continued her bewilderment. She just didn't understand how I could have been there, she had looked out the window and was using her mirrors, etc. Still not even the merest hint of culpability on her part. I managed to take most of the anger out of my voice, but tried one more time to spell it out for her: "This is a private parking lot, and no one's injured, so there's no point in calling the police. But I do suggest you go ahead and call your insurance agent, and if they're any good at their job, they'll tell you that it doesn't matter if I'm at a dead stop or going 30 through this lot; if you're backing out, it's YOUR responsibility to make sure the way is clear. You can say you looked all you like, but my door and quarter panel tell a different story." She got in her car and drove off without saying another word.
My insurer is confident that this can be taken care of with minimal outlay (if any) on my part. In the meantime, that reassurance doesn't do much to dampen the wind noise now generated by a car door that won't quite shut properly. I am, however, grateful for the small favor that still allows it to be locked.
IQ tests for drivers? Why yes, that does sound like a pet political cause I can get behind.
UPDATE: Her insurance is paying for my repairs. 100%. A rare bit of good news.
Beating alcoholism will take courage, support from family and friends, and faith in a higher power. Since you've got none of these things, best just to stay drunk and not worry about it.
TaurusApril 20 - May 20
Don't stick your finger in the mashed potatoes. Don't stick your finger in the mashed potatoes. Don't stick your finger in the mashed potatoes. Don't stick your finger in the mashed potatoes. Don't st --- okay then. Yeesh, nice willpower.
GeminiMay 21 - June 21
There's probably a very good explanation for being found alone with the dog and that jar of peanut butter, but your significant other isn't likely to sit patiently while you find it.
CancerJune 22 - July 22
Let's just say you were born under a bad sign. Hmm? What did I mean by that? Oh, nothing.
LeoJuly 23 - August 22
You still have time to correct that disastrous career move, but your failure to wear pants today is only speeding up the clock.
VirgoAugust 23 - September 22
Remember last week when the stars recommended buying all those Martin Lawrence DVDs? We totally thought you realized they were being sarcastic. Our bad. I mean, you're still a moron, but our bad.
LibraSeptember 23 - October 23
All that time you spent in the Navy, particularly those hours with a barnacle scraper on the side the carrier's hull, will come in handy when the Home Depot paint mixer explodes. Again.
ScorpioOctober 24 - November 21
Pants. Seriously, dude, pants. What the hell is wrong with you people??
SagittariusNovember 22 - December 21
Keep an attorney's phone number handy, as this looks to be the week when your knowledge that prostitution is illegal collides with your belief that it shouldn't be.
CapricornDecember 22 - January 19
Sport fucking may be an Olympic event someday, but you should probably just accept that you were born too soon.
AquariusJanuary 20 - February 18
While they did encourage you to re-submit, the Patent Office isn't any more likely to approve your design for a combination Ab Toner/Salad Mixer/Xanax Dispenser this year either.
PiscesFebruary 19 - March 20
Your pride in proving that "Unbreakable" comb to be a liar will be overshadowed by the sorrow of your disheveled, unkempt hairdo.
