It’s A Black Tie Thing

It's a birthday bonanza!

7/26 10:00pm @ Sonny's on 215 & Flamingo!!!!

Come one, come all!

3:35 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

None of This Is Real
Category: MySpace

I've been meaning to write this blog for a while. Bits and pieces of sentences rumbling through my mind as I dry my hair, smoke a cigarette, change a diaper. Idioms, analogies and maxims flashing in front of my minds eye to sound like a literary genius. Fake.

I used to be a Myspace addict. Judging my worth and validation  by new correspondance, a comment, a message, a friend's request. I would check my Myspace every fifteen minutes. Hit the refresh button on the way to the bathroom, interrupt a movie with my [then] boyfriend to find out if anyone in the interwebs gave me attention...ignoring the person on the couch devoted to me.

I was guilty of cyber stalking. There was a certain person that I knew every single one of her pages on every single social network site there was. I wrote long, detailed blogs of what a horrid person she was (leaving out all the horrible shit I did to her), started headline wars, created fake private blogs just so the title would piss her off. Checking her Myspace page was often the lowlight of my day, yet I continued to do it, to perpetuate the drama.

I'm realizing now, how fake a Myspace page is. I should have figured it out years ago when I first got it. I used to think seeing someone's Myspace was like taking a cross section of their very being. Now, I see it is only a cross section of the side of them they want you to see. There are no pictures of you when you first wake up, your hair is a mess and last night's mascara is smeared across your face. No blogs full of  how much of an insecure mess you really are. The internet gives us the power and the anominity to be who ever we want. And Myspace is the perfect cannon for such trickery.

Look at my page, my pictures, my blogs, my clever responses to surveys. I portray a sassy, confident and all around fabulous human being, don't I? Key word being portray. It's not that I'm trying to be fake, that I have someone feeding me lines or am googling witty phrases (okay, occassionally, I'll google for a quote, but I always cite the author, if not the source). This really is me...or a part of me.

 Man, I can fake confidence with the best of them. But I'm not fake, at least not completely. I just choose very carefully which side of me I allow you to see. If I love you enough, trust you enough, I shift and let you see another face. And if you can deal with that, I keep pealing back the layers until you get to the nitty gritty. The weak, insecure, crazy nut that is inside this shell of confidence.

This was supposed to be a blog about how you shouldn't think that a Myspace page will really reveal that much information (so spying on me won't help), but it ended up being more of a soul searching encounter.

Well, fuck beans.

2:35 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Disclaimer

Sean is the father of my child. That is ALL he is to me. Anything that I have on here is not about him. So, in order to avoid any drama incase any nosey person decides to go snooping on my page (or, you know, my fucking MAIL), please be aware that nothing is about him.

And the reason that I am posting this is not to create drama, but I was writing a blog earlier and I went through three fucking titles but everyone I put, I thought, that crazy, nosey bitch is going to think this is about Sean and start all sorts of shit for him. Which, I know he has enough going on, he doesn't need this bullshit.

If you have any questions, please feel free to click the message button directly to your left. Or, I'm sure you have my number.

8:49 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

The Block Is Busted.
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Fuck beans, dude. I am in line for the Hulk and the line goes into the casino. There are probably sixty people in line. Happy Father's Day to all the proud papas out there, especially that one that gave me my Angel. *Title stolen from Ryan's live journal.

2:14 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

fucking quit it. Now.
Category: Blogging

Okay, who ever has my passwords needs to back off my shit. I have reset it three times and my e mail password. I do not know how you keep getting it but whoever you are should have realized that I am not hiding or lying about anything. I am getting sick of missing notifications and having messages sit for days. Knock it the fuck off.

2:53 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

at a loss
Category: Life

I have a habit of being confused. i want what I do not have and when I have it I am not sure I want it so I let it go... only to want it again. I think I need to be alone for a bit but whenever I am, someone comes up and I dont want to miss my chance at finding my knight. maybe I am as selfish as He always said I was. i would almost have to be to make anyone deal with my psychosis just so I may be happy. blah. I will figure it out one day.

6:17 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Yay for new phone.

So I lost my piece of Shit see red razor. got a Katana. still working out the bugs so do not mind grammar errors here as i am clogging from it. i lost all my numbers so text me.

1:02 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Allow Me A Moment
Current mood: blissful
Category: Life

I'm fighting back tears as I write this. I can feel my throat swell and my eyes burn.

I love my son. I love everything about him. I love the way he slobbers on my cheek when he kisses me. I love the way he smiles when he sees me walk into a room. I love how he stops crying the second he's in my arms. I love the way he looks at me when I'm feeding him. I love the way he blows bubbles with his cereal. I even love changing his dirty diapers, because that means he's not having the tummy issues he had for a while. I love holding him and dancing with him to punk rock music. I love seeing the joy on other people's faces when they hold him. I love the way he smells after a bath. I love giving him a bath. I love when he plays around when I'm trying to get him dressed. I love how surprised he looks when I play Peek-a-Boo with him. I love the way he just looks at me when I'm sad and crying and hold him, his little hands just come out and touch my cheeks as though he's saying, "Don't cry, Mommy. I'm right here."

And I've lost the battle. The tears have escaped. I can hear him giggling in the next room as he's figuring out that HE is making the noise with the rattle.

I need to go hug my kid.

9:52 AM - 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

How Not To Be A Fucking Tool
Category: MySpace

Let us have a brief lesson in grammar.

1. Your is possesive. Like "your car" or "your mom."

2. You're is a contraction of "you" and "are."  "You're a fucking tool, you dumb bitch."

3. To is a preposition. "She went to go fuck herself."

4. Too is an adverb. "I, too, am not a fool." "I am way too irritated by stupidity that I write an entire blog trying to educate the ignorant idiots."

5. Speaking of ignorant, that means lacking knowledge, either in general or towards a specific subject, i.e. "She is completely ignorant in grammar." Or, "She's not stupid, she's just ignorant." Now, to misuse the word, although it gives me great joy to see you make a complete fool of yourself, is pretty ironic.

6. Spelling. It's not that hard. Especially with access to dictionary.com. Use it.

7. They're is a contraction that means "they are." "They're pissing me off with their ignorance of grammar."

8. Their is a plural possesive pronoun. "Their inability to form coherent statements is trying my nerves."

9. There is an adverb, typically describing a location. "The book is over there."

10. It takes two extra seconds to type out a word. Please don't get all emo on me because I refuse to respond to a message that says "ur way 2 kewl." Acronyms are acceptable, such as "OMW" or "BRB."

In summation, if you've completed grade school (i.e. GRAMMAR school) and are older than 12, you should NOT be making these errors.

7:54 AM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Check out this myYearbook Battle!

1:33 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment