|
Thursday, August 28, 2008
 |
a little prison humor?? :)
Current mood:  sick
7:10 AM
-
2 Comments - 2 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
|
Monday, August 25, 2008
|
it’s our anniversary!
Current mood:  giddy
'YOU'RE STILL THE ONE
I RUN TO...
THE ONE THAT
I BELONG TO...
YOU'RE STILL THE ONE I WANT FOR LIFE...
YOU'RE STILL THE ONE THAT I LOVE...
THE ONLY ONE I DREAM OF...'
TOMORROW IS OUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!
WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER 26 YEARS NOW, EXACTLY HALF MY LIFE!
HAD YOU POLLED EVEN OUR FRIENDS, DURING THAT FIRST YEAR,
99.5% WOULD'VE SAID THERE'S NO WAY WE'D MAKE IT PAST ONE YEAR LOL!
AFTER THE 10-YEAR MARK I THINK THEY FINALLY REALIZED
WE WORKED, WHETHER THEY BELIEVED IT OR NOT!
WE AREN'T PERFECT, WE HAVE NO LONGEVITY SECRETS,
AND LIFE'S NOT A FAIRY TALE, THAT'S FOR SURE...
BUT AS THE YEARS PASS, AND LIFE LIVES, AND THE STORM CLOUDS PASS,
WHAT MATTERS
IS THAT WE BOTH KNOW WE'RE THE
LOVES OF EACH OTHER'S LIVES
AND THAT WE CAN'T IMAGINE OUR LIVES WITHOUT EACH OTHER!
IN OUR CASE, LOVE DOES CONQUER ALL!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN MY LIFE! 
3:03 AM
-
4 Comments - 8 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
|
Saturday, August 23, 2008
|
statues :)
Current mood:  giggly
Two statues stood in a city park: one female and the other male. These statues faced each other for many years.
Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."
And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling, and twigs snapping.
After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling.
Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"
11:52 PM
-
3 Comments - 6 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
|
Friday, August 22, 2008
|
uh oh, this may be going too far, those blondes! ;)
Current mood:  nerdy
.. content="MSHTML 6.00.6000.16705" name=GENERATOR>
POSSIBLY THE BEST BLONDE JOKE EVER
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum
deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they
don't sell rectum deodorant and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the
pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular
basis and would like some more. "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "We don't
have any." 'But, I always buy it here,' says the blonde .
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist. "Yes,"
said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the container
and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is
just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.'" Annoyed, the blonde snatches
the container back and reads out loud from the container ...
(Are you ready for this one!?)
"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."
1:34 AM
-
4 Comments - 2 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
|
Thursday, August 21, 2008
|
not what it looks like :)
Current mood:  bouncy
Two statues stood in a city park: one female and the other male. These statues faced each other for many years.
Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."
And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling, and twigs snapping.
After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling.
Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"
5:10 AM
-
0 Comments - 0 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
celibacy
Current mood:  blank
CELIBACY
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Weekend, Walter and his wife Ann, listened to the instructor declare, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.
He addressed the men, 'Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?'
Walter leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently and whispered, 'Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?'
And thus began Walter's life of celibacy.
5:09 AM
-
3 Comments - 2 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
|
Monday, August 18, 2008
|
observational musings from an antique observer
Current mood:  pensive
after half a century of people-watching, i've developed a pretty honed sense of perception about people... i don't categorize and/or put people in stereotypical boxes; life experience has taught me to expect the unexpected, epecially where people are concerned. what a lifetime of observing has taught me, kicking, screaming, and refusing to believe it all the way, is....
there is a core group of family and friends whose actions always match the words they don't even say, cos you know how much you mean to them...
there is a fluctuating group of loved ones who are always going to be who they are, whose actions usally are the opposite of their words, and no matter how hard you try to fit into their lives, you're never going to fit any 'further' than you pretty much always have...
and then there is the group that you should never have spent the time, effort, money, emotions, etc, trying to make them part of your life, because they're accepting of what you can do for them, not of you, and they ease out of your life as your going out of your way for them, eases out of yours...
i detest giving up on people...
i've never done it before...
but i really have to start realizing with my heart and not just my head, that some things are just not meant to be...
sad... but i guess it will leave more free time for me to enjoy instead of wasting...
happy Monday!!
we're counting our blessings 'round here!!! 
7:30 PM
-
0 Comments - 0 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
|
Sunday, August 17, 2008
|
THANK YOU GOD THANK YOU GOD!!!
Current mood:  grateful
most of you know the things life has thrown at amber this past 18 mos, even before that, jb and i tease her that she has a 'black cloud' hanging over her. this morning, that black cloud was literal! she was driving early morning to get something to eat when her car blew up! under the hood. but the flames were nonstop over the windshield, roof,and both sides,of the car. she said the noise of fire is even worse than what you hear on movies, a deadly sound, and she figured the car was going to explode, yet flames shooting down the sides kept preventing her from leaving out the doors... she finally was able to go in the split second between the flames, with her hair singed and her face and hands still have the black residue of soot, it's not coming off... an ambulance came to check her out, but she was ok to release... there was a 60 yard double lane of fire burning behind the car, from the flames coming all around the car to the back and down the road! (and do u know, most people slowed down to glance at the fire, and her sitting alone in the desert,and didn't even try to help) i have been on a 'thank u God thank u God' mantra since she told us; we're both shaking like leaves. took the firemen over an hour to distinguish the flames and the police said the car shop that alledgedly looked at about 2 wks ago and 'couldn't find anything wrong' pertaining to the gas smell she told them she kept smelling, was probably criminally liable. but that's put by the wayside, at least for now. we're all in shock that she was just driving up the road and bam... we could've waken this morning having lost a child... in less than a split second, life can totally change... that keeps being brought home to us this last couple years... the car is totalled, but her insurance provides a rental, and once the shock has worn off, punk will be ok, except if she's near a fire (she said she will never think of fire the same again). i'm trying to concentrate on how blessed we all are the car didn't explode, but my stomach is killing me. hug your loved ones, you know? hope you're all having a SAFE and happy weekend!
10:12 PM
-
5 Comments - 6 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
gotta watch those doctors! :)
Current mood:  eccentric
a doctor decides to sleep with his patient a voice inside his head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." But another voice kept reminding him, "Howard, you are a veterinarian." 
12:48 AM
-
4 Comments - 4 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
|
|
Saturday, August 16, 2008
|
those priests... :)
Current mood: blank
..TR>
A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest...the grass
was very thick and long, and it took the boy about 4
hours to cut. He approached the Father for payment and
the priest paid him $1.00.
The boy said "Thank you, virgin Father!"
The priest replied, "What did you say?"
The boy repeated, "Thank you, virgin Father!"
The priest asked him, "Do you know what that means?"
The boy replied, "Yes.... tight ass!"  | ..TABLE>
1:51 PM
-
0 Comments - 2 Kudos
- Add Comment
|
|
