My Blue Heaven
Current mood: crazy

HAHA I found this story that I wrote in 12th grade and I had to post it. Listen to an instrumental version of that oldies song "My Blue Heaven" if you can. Enjoy :)

It was the 40s when guys were well, guys, and girls were dolls. I, of course, was a doll and I remember those days like they were yesterday...or maybe a week or two ago. Who cares though, just as long as I still remember them. There was on specific night I remember though. It was the night I met him...

I went to a USO dance that night with some gals and the night was going pretty good. I mean, I was sitting all by my lonesome while my pals cut a rug with some fine, young Navy gents but other than that everything was fine and dandy. I mean, there was free grub and all so who was I to complain...

Well, it was getting pretty late and I was about to leave the joint when I saw him...His eyes met mine and it was as if I was in a daze. When the band started to play the oldie but goodie "My Blue Heaven", he walked up to me and asked, "Can I have this dance?" and I, of course, agreed. It was strange because it wasn't even him exactly that made me want to like him. Sure, he was cute, tall and in uniform but it was something else...He had these sparkling blue eyes that could look at you and make you feel something for him because when he looked at you, you felt like he was looking at you and you alone. Nobody else around seemed to matter. Oh and when you danced with him, you felt like you were dancing on air. It was mad crazy too because he was wearing these strange purple plateforms which would probably make anyone else topple over when dancing but not him. He played it cool and had dance moves that were so murderistic that they would put both Astaire's and Kelly's to shame.

We danced for hours, doing al the latest dance moves like the Jitterbug to some covers of some Gene Krupa, Glenn Miller and Artie Shaw tunes. It was funny too, because I had been dancing with him for hours and I still didn't know his name. Dancing around with strangers isn't something I do everyday, maybe every other day but not everyday so it was new to me.

It had come to the last song and it was almost time to part. We said our goodbyes and he finally told me his name. It was Bob. As we were cutting out, he knocked me a kiss and asked me if he could write me. He was leaving for Europe the next night so that night was the last night for a while before I could see him again. Well, of course I told him he could write and I gave him my address. He promised me he would write everyday.

He wrote me letters for a while and they were filled with all that lovey-dovey greatness. You know, the "I can't wait 'til I come home so I can see your beautiful face baby because I only have eyes for you kid" and all that jazz. Then one day the letters stopped coming...

It's been over 60 years now and I still remember that one night and him...I bet you know what happened to him right?? I still think I see him and his crazy purple platforms around sometimes. No, he didn't die in a war or anything tragic like that! He became a street pimp and changed his name to Mario :)

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When You Are Old
Current mood: sleepy

HEN you are old and grey and full of sleep,

And nodding by the fire, take down this book,

And slowly read, and dream of the soft look

Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,

And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,

And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,

Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

And paced upon the mountains overhead

And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

by William Butler Yeats

I remember reading this poem a couple of years ago in my English 220 class. I don't know why I thought about it tonight but I did and it made me feel the same way I felt when I read it for the first time.

Currently listening : Under the Blacklight By Rilo Kiley Release date: 2007-08-21

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Whatever
Current mood: blah

Say whatever, do whatever to get you through one more day. Do what you can to get yourself noticed or find your place in the sun even if it means degrading yourself or sinking so low that even you feel sick. Don't try to better yourself or seek things that really matter because they don't mean anything anymore. All you need are the false hopes and dreams that are taken in from the outside world which is filled with people who only half care about you. Who cares about the other half because they are only good for those not so good times when hopes and dreams are lost and all you can do is run to the ones who know and love you the most. The only thing wrong with that picture is when you finally come to that realization, those people who did care are not going to be there and you'll be left broken and alone with nothing to comfort your afflicted conscience and your empty heart.

Currently listening : Help! Release date: 2007-11-06

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A New And Improved Way To Feel
Current mood: contemplative

It's funny how I spend the whole semester wishing for the time that I can spend catching up on the many hours of sleep that I've lost slaving away on the plethora of tests, portfolios and other school assignments that I had to work on in order to receive a passing grade in all my courses but instead, I'm up at two in the morning writing about the lack of sleep that I could be getting at this very moment. How very counterproductive of me but I guess my masochistic justification is that maybe I like depriving myself of something I need the most. Sometimes I feel like that is my motto not just for sleeping, but for pretty much everything (with the one exception being anything school-related) which is somewhat depressing in the sense that it is almost like I enjoy denying myself of the things I want. I know that I deserve more but I convince myself that I don't deserve things as a way of hindering myself from being let down. It's sad because this pessimistic attitude is holding me back and I'm not doing anything to fix it. It's just annoying though because I try to expect less so that I won't set myself up for disappointment but my low expectations end up making me more upset because I know that should care. I think it's time that I find the motivation to strive for more instead of just settling for less. To get a head start, I'm going to take initiative right now to get more sleep, put my thoughts to rest, and save my contemplations of a new and improved way to feel for tomorrow. Good night and sweet dreams.

Currently listening : The Cure - Greatest Hits By The Cure Release date: 2001-11-13

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Nobody Is An Enigma

It's weird when people don't understand themselves and try to make it seem as if they were confusing individuals. To me, nobody is an enigma. People can try to hide and conceal their true feeling but somehow that always makes them easier to read. Why would someone wish to be be evasive? When people mask their feelings, they hide their true selves and in a sense, end up losing themselves completely. Nobody is truly living until they begin to accept themselves for who they are. Life's too short to live without living at all and when you aren't "you", the "you" that you strive to be is just a wasted existance of someone who could have been destined for greatness.

Currently listening : Under the Blacklight By Rilo Kiley Release date: 21 August, 2007

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The Mean Reds
Current mood: blank

Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

~from Breakfast at Tiffany's

Currently listening : Beneath Medicine Tree By Copeland Release date: 25 March, 2003

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The Moment Of Truth

I was watching that new show "The Moment of Truth" (which is where the contestants get asked embarrassing questions and have to answer truthfully to get money) with my family and one of the questions they asked one of the contestants was "have you ever looked at another guy's package while changing in the locker room" and the guy said yes. It was hilarious though because my dad was all making fun of the guy and my mom was like "what's wrong with that...he was only looking...not touching" while making a grabbing motion with her hands.

Currently listening : 1962-1966 By The Beatles Release date: 05 October, 1993

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Love Puts Logic To Sleep

"Love puts logic to sleep. If it didn't, then we would never risk it. Love starts off as an illusion. However the illusion must be broken in order for something deeper to take its place." ~Joan Of Arcadia

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There Will Always Be Pain In Things
Current mood: pensive

"There will always be pain in things...Knowing this does not mean that a man shall despair. The good man will seek to take pain out of things. The foolish man will not even notice it except in himself. And the evil man will drive pain deeper into things and spread it about wherever he goes. But each man is guiltless, for the evil man no less than the foolish man or the good man did not ask to come here and did not come alone, from nothing, but from many worlds and multitudes. The evil do not know they are evil and therefore are innocent. The evil man must be forgiven everyday. He must be loved, because something of each of us is in the most evil man in the world and something of him is in each of us. He is ours and we are his. None of us is separate from any other. The peasant's prayer is my prayer, the assassin's crime is my crime. Last night you cried because you began to know these things."~quote from The Human Comedy

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Observation
Current mood: amused

Today my sister and I went to do an observation in a history class at Correia Jr. High. It was really strange being there because I hadn't been back to that place since my choir class had to perform for a talent show there in eleventh grade. It was funny because everyone there thought that my sister and I were students there!! When my sister and I went to check it at the office, the lady at the front desk asked us if we just got to school like we were students who attend that school. Then when we went to get visitors passes, the same lady for some reason asked us if we were over eighteen!! Even one of the students in the classroom I was observing asked if my sister and I were new students at the school! HAHAHA I always get people asking me if I was in high school but to get asked if I am in jr. high which means I probably look like I'm twelve or thirteen is a new low...

Currently listening : The Best of the Ronettes By The Ronettes Release date: 22 September, 1992

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