Martin Luther King Jr

He's always been a person hero of mine. Though I may be white, his message is clear. The road to acceptable and equality can not be made in blood. Through love, there is understanding.

Some choice quotes:

-Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.
-A right delayed is a right denied.
-All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.
-An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.
-An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.
-Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
-Discrimination is a hellhound that gnaws at Negroes in every waking moment of their lives to remind them that the lie of their inferiority is accepted as truth in the society dominating them.
-Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
-Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.
-History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.
-I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
-I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
-If physical death is the price that I must pay to free my white brothers and sisters from a permanent death of the spirit, then nothing can be more redemptive.
-Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
-It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.
-Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.
-Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon. which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.
-Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.
-That old law about 'an eye for an eye' leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing.
-The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has just done you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one.
-The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But... the good Samaritan reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"
-The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict.
-To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.
-We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.
-We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
-We will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

1:47 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

life

Just an update.

Not much is going on. I'm work 2 full time jobs at the moment (most due to the fact that it's Christmas). The book store job tanked, since the owner was dying. He offered the business to me, but after looking over his accounts, I declined.

I'm still at World Market. They have me off cashiering for a bit, so I'm doing a lot of work on the floor, including downstock and doing general chores. Not quite as stressful as being stuck checking people out all night.  

I'm also finishing basic training with Expedia.com as a customer service rep. I really hope I make it through probation, since the pay is really good and if I pass, I'll be able to live off of one job. But for the moment, I'm getting very little sleep and am on a fudge-making binge for Christmas. So wish me luck.

So that's the 10 cent tour of my life for now.

2:14 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

This is intense

Explosion in Tacoma

This happened only a few miles from where I work. This actually caused our doors to come off the tracks.

11:02 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I just need someone to tell me that this is a bad idea

I work at a used bookstore. The owner is dying and has offered me the business. It doesn't make much money, and I have zero experience in business finance and management.

Someone just tell me that it's a bad idea and let me go on with my life.

1:09 AM - 5 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Things I will not do at Hogwarts

Things I Will Never Do At Hogwarts
1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are covered in bees.

2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not an extra credit project for Herbology.

4. Ive heard every possible joke about Oliver Woods name is not a challenge.

5. I am not allowed to attempt to breed a liger.

6. I will not go to class skyclad.

7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

8. I will not use Umbridges quill to write I told you I was hardcore.

9. I will stop referring to showering as giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful.

10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. Polishing my wand in the common room is not.

11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

12. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

13. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

14. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if todays project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.

15. Adding the name Bueller to Professor Binns roster is not funny.

16. Springtime for Voldemort is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.

17. Seamus Finnegan is not after me Lucky Charms.

18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as bookends.

19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as bookends.

20. The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not Rocky Horror.

21. It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin that Once you go Black, you never go back.

22. I will not call Lucius Malfoy Jareth.

23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

24. I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as Kitchen Stadium.

25. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to Get a room whenever they start to fight.

26. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.

27. I am not a tribble Animagus.

28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.

29. I do not weigh the same as a duck.

30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

31. Sirius Black is not 24601.

32. I will not lick Trevor.

33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

34. I am not being repressed.

35. Calling Lucius Malfoy Luscious Mouthful is just plain gross.

36. I will not change the password to the prefects bath to Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty.

37. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

38. I am not a Pinball Wizard.

39. Asking How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense? and walking away is only funny the first time.

40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.

41. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.

42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

44. Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say NI.

45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.

46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make Love Potion Number Nine.

47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

48. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with Whats new, pussycat?

49. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.

50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

51. I will not call the Defence Against Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

52. I am not a sloth Animagus.

53. I am not to owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.

54. I will not teach the first-years to sing "A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End".

55. I will not give any girl a one half of a set of two way mirrors as a Christmas present, especially if I don't tell her what it is.

56. I will not go to any fundamentalist websites and argue that Voldemort is a direct contradiction of the concept of "intelligent design."

57. I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels".

58. I will not convince the house elves to unionize.

59. The Muggle known as George W. Bush is not related to or working for Lord Voldemort in any way, and I am to stop insinuating that he is.

60. There are spoons. I will not destroy, transfigure, disappear or rename the cutlery so that there are no spoons.

61. The Head Girl and Head Boy do not perform sexual favors.

62. I will stop insisting that witchcraft is just a metaphor for lesbian sex.

63. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.

64. Attempting to create real tribbles is expressly forbidden. Especially if it is for extra credit in the Care of Magical Creatures.

65. Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house, is forbidden.

66. Hogwarts is in the UK, thus the United States Constitution does not apply to any of its students. Therefore, 'Avada Kedavra' does not fall under First Amendment freedom of speech rights.

67. I shall not suggest to Remus Lupin that "you and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals" and that we should "do it like they do on the Discovery Channel."

68. Announcing "Remember: Save a broomstick! Ride a wizard!" is not an appropriate way to conclude a Quidditch match.

69. Voldemort, after being defeated, did not get served.

70. Providing Engorgio charms to students that are... lacking... before the Winter Ball will make your Head of House most displeased.

71. "You might be a pureblood if..." jokes will get me in trouble, especially in front of Slytherins.

72. The condition of Professor Snape's hair has nothing to do with the Muggle movie "There's Something About Mary."

73. It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin that "once you go Black, you never go back."

74. I should not ask Harry Potter if he wants to talk to my "snake".

75. Professor Snape is not the Metatron.

76. I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"

77. I will not teach the veela the lyrics to "Oops, I Did It Again" even if they ask nicely.

78. Lucius Malfoy's cane is not a 'pimp stick' and I should stop asking if I can be his ho.

79. Stop asking Hannah Abbot if her milkshake brings boys to the yard.

80. Getting my little brother to record his latest thrash masterpiece on a Howler so I can listen to it is a good idea in theory, but not in actuality.

81. I do not have a Pikachu Patronus, no matter how kickass that would be.

82. I will not refer to house elves as "self-disciplining submissives".

83. If a classmate is jingling the change in his pockets, I will not laugh at him for "playing with his Knuts".

84. Despite the fact that it takes place in a dungeon, I may not safeword out of Potions class.

85. Singing "If I Were a Rich Man" around the Weasleys is rude.

86. I may not sell Umbridge's quill to emo students, especially if they're no good at poetry.

87. Changing my name to Mary-Sue does not guarantee me hook-up rights with anyone I please.

88. Kingsley Shacklebolt is allowed to hurt me if I refer to him as 'my nigga'.

89. Just because the black guy dies first in Muggle movies does not mean that will apply to Kingsley.

90. I deserved the extra punishment when I sang "Fat Bottomed Girls Make the Rocking World Go Round" to Madame Maxime.

91. "Beaters do it with Wood" is not funny, even if the only people who aren't laughing are the Weasley twins and Oliver.

92. Under no circumstances am I to attempt to create a Holy Hand Grenade.

93. I will not Polyjuice myself and a friend to look like Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, then give each other passionate kisses in public.

94. Forming a LGBT support group on campus is permissible. Claiming that it was founded in 1945 by Tom Riddle is not.

95. Replying every question that Professor Lupin asks with, "Are you fucking Sirius?" is not funny, not even the first time.

96. Asking Tonks to change to Marilyn Monroe or Jenna Jameson before having sex is just plain cruel and evil.

97. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".

98. Asking Professor Flitwick if there is a charm to remove clothes, or give you x-ray vision, is not permitted.

99. Asking Professor Flitwick where Snow White is is not permitted.

100. Mail order dinosaurs are NOT good birthday presents for Hagrid. No matter how much of a discount you get on them.

101. I will stop charming Professor Snape's robes to bright purple (or any bright color for that matter).

102. Dobby, even though he apparently went to grammer school with him, is NOT Yoda in disguise.

103. Telling the first years about the time your friend got eaten by the giant squid is NOT appropriate. Ever.

104. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "my little pony."

105. Madam Pomfrey does not dispense condoms.

106. Do not ask Professor Sinistra to show you "Uranus".

107. A good way to piss Hermione off: Write "Hermione Granger was here" on multiple library books, thereby banning her from the library.

I am not allowed to ask Hermione and Ginny if they know what a 'menage a trois' is.

108. I will not send shampoo to Snape's office, no matter how badly he needs it.

109. Naughty jokes regarding "Moaning" Myrtle are only funny the first time.

110. Singing "Slytherins are Sexier" in Potion's class will not get me extra points.

111. Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not use guns against the Deatheaters.

112. Screaming "VOLDEMORT!" in crowded hallways is not in good taste.

113. Stealing Draco's underwear and selling it on Ebay to horny fangirls is not ethical, nor profitable (note to self: Steal Potter's underwear instead).

114. I will not refer to Ron Weasley as "that red-headed twit" in polite company (impolite company is just fine).

115. The "I Hate Snape" Club is not a valid after-class activity.

116. Making Harry Potter action figures without his permission is wrong. Making Draco Malfoy pay double for them is also wrong.

117. I will not tell Grawp that "Hermy" will give him a kiss if he eats certain members of the faculty.

118. "Potter 6, Voldemort 0", is not a valid T-shirt slogan.

119. Writing sexy love letters to Professor Dumbledore, signed by "Your Kitten", is not a ethical means to skip Transfiguration class (though it is effective).

120. I will not address the Professor with a loud "Heil Umbridge!" and accompanying salute.

121. Having Colin and Dennis Creevy follow Harry Potter all day is cruel and unusual punishment. 128. I will not sell pennies as priceless, Muggle collector coins.

122. I will not spread rumors about Draco's deviant sexuality.

123. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room" whenever they start to fight.

124. I will stop sneaking out at night to look for Ents in the Forbidden Forest.

125. When called upon in class, I will not automatically answer with "42".

126. I am not allowed to bother Snape, and Dumbledore does not routinely have 'Naked Time'.

127. The proper way toreport to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."

128. I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".

129. I will not add "according to the prophecy" at the end of my sentences to raise my divination grade.

130. I will not sing "Defying Gravity" during Quidditch practice.

131. I will not ask Aragog how things are with his wife, Shelob.

132. I will not tell Muggle born first years that Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans taste better when you eat them silmutaneously by the handful.

133. I will not refer to the Defense Against the Dark Arts professors as the "canaries in the coal mine".

134. I will not confess to comitting crimes that happened before I was born, even though I happen to have a Time Turner.

136. To "conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice, even for a witch.

137. I will not use Polyjuice potion to turn myself into John DeLancie and Apparate to a Star Trek convention.

138. Providing Peeves with a case of dungbombs was socially irresponsible and I will never do it again.

139. I will nto call my wand an "elegant weapon for a more civilized age".

140. I am not to tell Nearly Headless Nick that he'd forget his head if it wasn't attached.

141. The four houses are not The Morons, The Borons, The Smartasses and The Junior Death Eaters.

142. Gryffindor "courage" does not come in bottles labeled 'firewhiskey'. Charming the label does nothing.

143. My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not Gandalf.

144. I will not tteach the House Elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

145. Yelling "to infinity, and BEYOND!" was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.

146. I will refrain from calling the Weasley twins "Merry" and "Pippin". I will not call Harry and Ron "Frodo" and "Sam". Calling Draco "Legolas" probably isn't a good idea either.

147. Telling Draco to "make like a ferret and bounce" is always a bad idea.

148. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental, and they do not have giant dragons that secretly are fed first years.

149. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogwarts, I will not point at the Dark Mark and shout "to the Batmobile, Robin!"

150. No matter how creepy the abandoned towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them.

151. I am not allowed to make eyes at Sirius. Lupin will kill me if I try anything.

152. I will not start a campaign to rid the world of mimes.

153. I am not the Phantom of Hogwarts and will not lure innocent girls into my lair, no matter how well I've furnished the Chamber of Secrets.

154. I am not allowed to flood the Chamber of Secrets, install an organ, don a half mask and sing Andrew Lloyd Webber.

155. There is no fifth house, especially one called 'Sparklypoo'.

156. I will not tickle a sleeping dragon to see what will happen.

157. Remember: I am not allowed out of my dorm when members of the Ministry representatives are here.

158. The Giant Squid is not My Lord Satan, and will not sacrifice first years to him on the night of the new moon.

159. When interrogated my staff members, I will not wave my hand and say "These are not the droids you are looking for".

160. I will not tell the Muggle born first years that the Forbidden Forest is really Mirkwood.

161. I will not sweep the common room with Harry's Firebolt.

162. First years are not toys, and I should not teach the Giant Squid to fetch them.

163. I will not scare first years with a tale of an omnicent author who controls our destinies.

164. Taking Polyjuice potion and going up to the person you've changed into and acting like either their long lost twin or a walking mirror can make them go insane and is not a hilarious practical joke.

165. Ron Weasly is not the "Boy Wonder" and he doesn't want to borrow your green tights.

166. Every time I see a Dementor, I will not hiss "Sssssssssssshire...Bagginsss."

167. Putting a Snitch in Draco's pants is not funny, no matter how long he runs around screaming like a girl.

168. Enchanting all the broom to hum "The Sorceror's Apprentice" is very, very annoying.

169. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I probably shouldn't be allowed to try it.

170. Putting fake spiders in Ron's bed isn't funny, even when he tries to jump out the window.

171. Spiking the school's pumpkin juice is not funnt, no matter how much fun we had that night.

172. I am no longer allowed to sing my "own personal spy music" when I walk down the hallways.

173. I will not charm a potato to waltz up the aisle with me, especially not the produce aisle.

174. Remarking "that's what your mom said last night" ito anything anyone else says was only marginally funny the first time, and never funny to Harrym not matter how hard Sirius is laughing.

175. Speaking like Yoda does not a happy professor make. Funny, it is not.

176. Invisibility cloaks should not be used to act out Clay Aiken songs.

177. Moaning Myrtle is not the girl from The Ring, and you should not tell the first years otherwise.

178. I will not provide Luna with Coast to Coast AM Transcripts.

179. I will stop asking the Arithmacy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

180. I am not a Professor at all.

181. I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skle-Gro with pumpkin juice ... nor will I replace Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro. 182. I will not swap Draco's broom with one of Filch's.

183. I am no longer allowed in the Student Laundry...or the Teacher's Laundry.

184. I will not refer to the hippogryph as a "Horseybird"

185. I will not ask Professor Sprout where the Jolly Green Giant is.

186. The next time I see Rita Skeeter I am not allowed to threaten her with a can of Raid.

187. First years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

188. The fact that Draco Malfoy is short, blond, pale eyed and rat faced is no reason for me to tell the Slytherines that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support.

189. I am not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vials in Snape's classroom.

190. I will not send pictures of magical creatures to the Enquirer.

191. I will not bring a magic 8 ball to Divination class.

192. I will not borrow a prefect's badge for Peeves.

193. Chemistry and Potions don't mix.

194. I am not allowed to cast an Invisibility charm ever again.

195. I am not allowed to eat chocolate frogs in potions...even if i brought enough for everyone... and emptying a bag full of them onto Snape's desk to prove this last is also not good.

196. Snape doesn't like being called Snookums.

197. I will not impesonate a Swedish Chef while in Potions.

198. Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his lap and demand presents especially in June.

199. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

200. When given directive by my house prefect I should not insist "We don't need no stinking badges, we don't need no thought control."

201. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherine House Mascot..

202. When applying for jobs at the Ministry of Magic do not Fred and George Weasley as my greatest influences.

203. Sending rings to nine senior faculty at Yule with the return address Voldemort...it's not funny.

204. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that i prophesized her death.

205. If asked in class what the curse Avada Kedavra does yelling."It does death!" may be the correct answer but is not the manner we should answer.

206. Sneaking slugs into Ron's food is not funny...to me... everyone else personally thinks it's funny.

207. I am not allowed to tamper or hide Dumbledore's candy...even if i think it's funny.

208. I will not call McGonagall cat girl ...nor will i try to stop her from transforming 1/2 through ...even if cat girls are cute.

209. I will not charm Hermione's time turner to turn every 1/2 hour.

210. I will not claim that X file tapes are "auror training tapes".

211. I will stop sending forged love notes to Snape that appear to be from Lupin.

212. I do not see the Grim Reaper and I am not allowed to say that he is standing beside Dumbledore and tapping his watch.

213. I will not insult people and then say I was given veritaserum.

214. House elves are not there to do my homework.

215. Seamus does not have a pot of gold under his bed.

216. OMGWTF is not a spell.

217. I will not accept anything edible from a Weasley.

218. I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Biblo Baggins.

219. The teaching staff are not Dumbledore's filthy assistants.

220. The fact that there are only 3 unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is pretty much forgivable.

221. "The lady doth protests too much methinks" will not change McGonagalls mind ...about anything.

222. I will not cast the occasional oblivate spell on Dumbledore no matter how funny i think it is.

223. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

224. Asking Professor Snape if his sisters okay after the house fell on her is tastless and he will give you a month of detention for it.

225. Shouting "abracadabra" can be misheard and start a panic.

226. I will not tell the Ravenclaws that they're basically useless because hogwarts smartest kid is in another house.

227. I will not call Pizza Hut and ask them to deliver to the common room.

228. I will not joke that Professor Flitwick went to "charm school".

229. I will not stack Trelawny's Tarot deck so that the first five cards are the Devil, the Tower, the Hanged Man, Judgement, and Death, showing she knows nothing about Tarot and just likes to be dramatic.

230. I will not tell first years that house points are like golf scores...aim low.

231. I will not ask professor Lupin if it is his time of the month

232. I will not call Professor Flitwick Yoda

233. or Bilbo Baggins

1:08 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Geez, I am such a Potterhead :P

123 ways to annoy Voldemort:

1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.
11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.

12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.

13. Call him 'The-Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live.'

14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'

15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.

16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.

17. Be cheerful.

18. When he tries to impress you with his powers, say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'

19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.

20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'

21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'

22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? What's that - a washing detergent?'

23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.

24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.

25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there...

26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?

27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.

28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'

29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.

30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.

31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.

32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, O Dark One' whenever he starts to talk of what caused him to become who he is.

33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'

34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.

35. Mock his choice of Quirrell as a 'host.'

36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways.'

37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.

38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions, 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you thought you were helping!

39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.

40. Buy him a stress ball.

41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.

42. Call him Tommy-boy.

43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.

44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.

45. Say he 'looked better under the turban.'

46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.

47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.

48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.

49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.

50. 'Imperio' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful.'

51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry.'

52. Paint all the Death Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.

53. Throw him a 'Carebears'-themed birthday party.

54. Tell him what Snape's really up to.

55. Politely exclaim now and again that you don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles.

56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment.'

57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.

58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.

59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.

60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'

61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.

62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London....

63. Throw Tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.

64. Tell him you've met plently of people more evil than he.

65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.

66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.

67. Steal, snap and bury his wand.

68. Tell him Lucius did it.

69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.

70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.

71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.

72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause.'

73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling.'

74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.

75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?'

76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'

77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.

78. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."

79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy.'

80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.

81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.

82. Cuddle him at random moments.

83. Sign him up for Little-League.

84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.

85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.

86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie.'

87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.

88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.

89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.

90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.

91. Write sonnets for him.

92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.

93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.

94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie.'

95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak.'

96. Mock his baldness.

97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')

98. Get him drunk.

99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah.'

100. Let him catch you trying on Death Eater robes.

101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.

102. As he's plotting dark deeds, pretend to cough and mutter things like 'Not gonna work, or 'stupid.'

103. Call him 'Champ' or 'Tiger.' Refer to yourself as 'Coach.'

104. Three words: Potter Puppet Pals.

105. Ask him where he gets his garlic-scented soap.

106. Ask him to dye Easter eggs with you.

107. ..at Christmas.

108. Make him dance in the rain with you.

109. Insist that this is to cleanse his soul.

110. "Accidentally" schedule him a him a haircut.

111. ..even though he's bald.

112. Be offended by everything he says.

113. When he gives you an order, stare at him blankly and drool.

114. Invite him to go streaking.

115. Kill Harry.

116. On the next Valentine's Day, decorate his lair.

117. ..make sure the decorations are pink and frilly.

118. Tell him that getting the same plastic surgeon as Michael Jackson was definitely a bad idea.

119. Paint his fingernails hot pink while he's sleeping, then place a permanent sticking charm on them so he can't remove the color.

120. Whenever you look at him cover your eyes with your hands and scream "IT BURNS!!!"

121. Bake him scar shaped cookies, but insist it wasn't purposeful.

122. Trade his black robes in for pink pajamas.

123. Insist that it's opposite day and paint a lightning bolt on his forehead.

2:11 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Score one for retail!!!!

So everyone is familiar with those little marking pens that cashiers use when you pay with a big bill. If the bill is real, the marking is amber. If it's fake, the mark turns black.

So I get a guy who pays with a $100 bill. I mark it to make sure it's real and put it in my drawer.

"HEY! How would you like it if I took the money that you gave me and marked it to make sure that you aren't cheating ME!"

His wife rolls his eyes and mutters "not this again."

He is looking pissed off but smug, trying to catch me in a bundle of excuses and explainations. "What do you say to THAT?"

I look him in the eye and very calmly count out his change. I spread out his cash on the counter and hand him the cash marker.

"Go ahead. Fair is fair."

His face drops.

He picks up his change and grumbles. "Nevermind. I'm sure it's fine."

His wife gives me a $5 tip for beating him at his own game.

 Score one for the peon.

11:11 PM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Animal Rescue

This is an awesome way to help rescue organizations, and it's free. Just click on the purple button and companies make donations to feed animals at animal rescues.

I personally have it saved as my home page, so I click on it every day.

Fund Food For Animals

I just thought I would spread the word.

9:27 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Paris Hilton
Current mood: aggravated

I can't believe I'm dedicating a blog to her, but here it goes.

I am really tired of hearing about Paris Hilton and her jail time. She can whine and cry and feel psychologically hurt all she wants, but she still messed up. I don't care that you're rich, skinny and spoiled, violating probation is serious. Reckless driving and a DUI is serious. No one should be feeling pity over this. She is not the victim here. It's only a 23 day sentence, and she already has what? 5 days knocked off?

Look, take your punishment and go on with your life. Girls, she is not a role model. There are consequences to actions, and her going to jail is proof of that. I'm tired of hearing about it, I'm tired of hearing her and every future whore of America thinking that she's needlessly suffereing. She's not. She's being punished, and won't learn anything if people keep pitying her like this.

4:24 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Christianity
Category: Religion and Philosophy

I'd like to say that I'm tired of the bad behavior of christians throughout the years. From the time of the Holy Wars to the Inquisition to modern times, when people hold signs at military funerals and display "God hates fags" signs, to endless debates and trolling on myspace boards calling people all sorts of ugly names to threats to churches covering up/justifying abuse through religion.

Look, all stereotypes and bad press aside, christianity is a faith based on the idea that a special man came to wash us from our sins, in hopes that His life and lessons will help us better our lives and those around us. That's it. Blindly following a book, pointing out sins and forcing unconstitutional legislation doesn't spend the word of God. People feel disconnected even betrayed by God when we do that.

Live and love, spend your time and donate to those less fortunate. Help a child. Adopt. Be there to listen. Help others and help yourself. Live a good example, and let God speak through you through that. Give God a reason to be proud of your life. Show others what forgiveness and compassion means. Don't shove it down their throats.

That is all for now.  

2:47 PM - 4 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment