The Cottage (2008)..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Directed by Paul Andrew Williams
Synopsis:
A bungled kidnapping leaves feuding brothers David and Peter (Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith) stranded in the English countryside with a deformed psychopath (Dave Legeno) who collects heads and has a taste for human flesh.
Final Assessment:
The horror comedy is a tricky thing to pull off.Too much comedy, the audience won't be frightened, but if you make it truly terrifying, your viewers might scream more than they laugh.Last year, writer/director Christopher Smith tried the mixture with Severance, and ended up with an uneven mess. Fellow Brit Paul Andrew Williams, however, has found the perfect blend.Paying homage to Tobe Hooper and Quentin Tarantino, The Cottage begins as a funny crime caper and morphs into something much darker fairly quickly.The script is witty and as sharp as the knives wielded by its madmen.And the performances, particularly Serkis (Lord of the Rings/King Kong) and Shearsmith, are first-rate.This is pure gory fun from beginning to end.If you have grown sick of the endless remakes and watered down PG-13 shockers that Hollywood has turned out in recent years, this bloodbath from across the pond is the medicine you seek.
Favorite Quotes:
Peter: "We're going to Hell for this."
David:"How's your phone?"
Andrew(Steve O'Donnell): "It's run out of battery."
David:"Okay, have you got charger?"
Andrew: "Yes."
David:"Great. Where is it?"
Andrew: "In the club."
David:"What the fuck is it doing there?"
Andrew: "It's plugged in the wall."
Old man (Hellraiser's Doug Bradley): "You make sure you lock your doors.Strangers don't fair well in these parts."
Tracey(Jennifer Ellison): "We're in a creepy house in the middle of nowhere.There's a trapdoor in the kitchen with a weird noise comin' from underneath.What the fuck do you think is gonna be down there?"
Tracey: "Why are the hands in the freezer?"
Peter: "Oh, you must be joking."
Sick Scenes:
A captive's belly is sliced open and his intestines spill out onto the floor.
A shovel slices a man's foot in two and lops a woman's head off at the mouth.
In a scene that pays tribute to the Predator films, the farmer reaches into a man's back, yanks out the spinal cord and head, and roars at the moon.
Rent/Buy/Stay Far Away from:
By all means buy!This is one of the best horror films in recent memory.Run now to the nearest video store and add it to your collection.
VOYEURS OF DEATH by Shaun Jeffrey 1 at horror-mall.com
VOYEURS OF DEATH by Shaun Jeffrey 1 at horror-mall.com VOYEURS OF DEATH by Shaun Jeffrey published by doorwayspublications.com
Is the 1 bestseller at 1 at horror-mall.com
In the macabre, terrifying world of Shaun Jeffrey, things are not always what they seem. A young boy 'fixes' dead things. A fairy tale has a far from happy ending. Clothes bring out the best – and the worst – in the wearer. True love mutates into hatred and violence. Heroes become villains in the blink of an eye. Scenic vacation spots hide ancient evils. And a date at a secluded parking spot produces dire consequences.
Voyeurs of Death delivers 15 tales of the macabre and surreal.
Take a look inside … if you dare.
"In these short tales, Shaun Jeffrey uses the subtle and the shocking to equally strong effect. His crisp prose turns each tale into a fast and thrilling ride through a tormented landscape of loss, lust and fear, and his work is infused with enough intellect and meaningful detail to make each trip memorable." -- Lee Thomas, Bram Stoker Award-winner. Author of 'Parish Damned' and 'The Dust of Wonderland'.
Old Flames Jack Ketchum Leisure, Jun 2008, $7.99 ISBN: 9780843959994 Review by Brian Yount
This book will give you a double dose of Jack Ketchum. It contains two novellas: the first being ’Old Flames’ and the second, ’Right to Life.’ ’Old Flames’ is the appetizer; it’s not the typical hardcore story I have come to expect from Mr. Ketchum. The tale is about a woman named Dora who�s married to a man who ends up leaving her for a new flame. Not long after that Dora hires ’Flame Finders’ to locate her high school sweetheart, Jim.
She eases her way into Jim’s life before he realizes what’s happening. Will he recognize what she’s trying to do before it’s too late?
’Old Flames’ grabbed my attention from the start and didn’t let go of me until the last shocking page was read.
3.5 out of 5 bloody skulls
The last page of ’Old Flames’ left me shocked, but it was nothing compared to the wickedness found in the second novella, ’Right to Life.’ This one was a violent, twisted tale. It reminded me a bit of one of Ketchum’s most well-known novels, ’The Girl Next Door,’ which was recently made into a movie.
In ’Right to Life,’ the main character, Sara, finds out she’s pregnant by her lover, who happens to be married to another woman. They both feel an abortion is the only solution. However, this decision leads to a more terrifying problem when a car pulls up in front of the clinic and Sara is kidnapped and driven off to hell. Will she escape the torture and mental abuse that waits for her? Will both she and the baby survive?
What makes this novella great is that the hardcore violence is not gratuitous. The story is sharply written and Ketchum makes you care about, and hate, his characters. This one is a topnotch horror tale.
Preditors and Editors charity anthology entitled HELP. And that’s exactly what we need...your help.
HELP is a massive book containing some of the scariest stories you’ve ever read, as well as SF and Fantasy stories from seasoned professionals to new authors in the field. Contributing authors include Mark Rainey, Tim Deal, and Gary Braunbeck. Gary is a past President of the HWA and will be alongside Stephen King and Joe Hill in the upcoming homage to Richard Matheson entitled HE IS LEGEND. Show your support for P&E. P&E has provided valuable listings and information on various publishers. From the elite to the fraudulent, P&E has been there for you, now be there for them...
The stories I wrote: Crusty Hanky --- Consequences --- Withered
