Sarah Palin - Doug Stanhope

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8hlj_UFi-g

10:28 AM - 46 Comments - 72 Kudos - Add Comment

DOES ANYONE KNOW CROWBAR in TAMPA?

Thanks for the quick responses.  Things are all worked out for the November 8th gig in Tampa at Crowbar. 

Tickets are available online at http://www.aestheticized.tickets.musictoday.com/AESTHETICIZEDPRESENTS/calendar.aspx

Just go down to the bottom and you will see the Nov. 8th Stanhope show.

Tampa is still too fucking fun.

stanhope

1:51 AM - 10 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Dane Cook Finally Stealing Decent Material

I just got this email...

***

Stanhope,

I went to a show at the Melrose Improv last night, and this surprise guest comic gets onstage and starts doing this long bit about how he had to take this girl to get an abortion and how ridiculous the experience was, and then started talking about going to Heaven, and how he'd be so happy to see his grandma in Heaven, but when he got to Heaven, there was this little pissed off guy giving him shit and it was his abortion, furious at him.

And the comic was fucking Dane Cook.

Thought you should know. I got really mad. Interest is definitely waning in that douche, even in the frat crowd. I feel like people are finally realizing what a fucking joke he is and how unfunny his "jokes" are, but if he tries to make a comeback using YOUR shit so HE can get fans, I'm gonna lose it.

-Jenny

********

Good work, Dane.

I'm glad someone remembers how my bits go.

stanhope

6:41 PM - 147 Comments - 167 Kudos - Add Comment

My Website Forum is Back & All New

For those of you who were on my forum before it shat the bed - and for those of you who wanna be - Norm Wilkerson got us back up and running.

www.jesuslovesdougstanhope.com


Sign up, log on and post, fag-cock. Pay no mind to the usual beansnappers who give you shit right off the bat. Theyre harmless and can usually be avoided by included some horrific pornographic or otherwise vile picture in your first post.

Welcome.

stanhope

3:47 PM - 8 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

London in September...

LONDON -

If you could please tell your other UK people who of a like mind, that would help.

Thanks for your patience.

Oh - and sorry we couldnt avoid Ticketmaster on this one - I didnt know til now and someone will be fired because of it. Or at least kicked in his one good ball.

The Arts Theatre, London.
http://www.artstheatrelondon.com
12-23 September....
www.ticketmaster.co.uk/artist/722695/?search_redirect=doug%20stanhope&tm_link=tm_header_search

6:21 AM - 21 Comments - 23 Kudos - Add Comment

It’s Summertime! Send me stuff! -UPDATED

Now that summer has offcially begun - I'm off with a few exception for two months - the time has come to mail me shit!

Bingo & I love checking the mailbox everyday more than even beating the dogs or sunning in the 12 inch deep kiddie pool on a pool float.

A mailbox is like a new Christmas present everday! And goddamned me if we havent been good enough to deserve presents!

Here's the address:

212 Van Dyke St
Bisbee AZ 85603

In the meantime, I'll be blogging the grey memories of the last few months (as well as the upcoming mexican dentistry,) douching 6 months of neglect out of the corners of the house while sweating off some ugly pounds and replacing them with even uglier ones. If you're in town, shoot a line and maybe we'll come out and grab a drink.

4th of July is a hoot in Bisbee. We'll see you at the parade.

Oh... and get ready for the Betty Lindstrom for Mayor campaign that we're all getting behind, Bisbeeites. We'll need volunteers who need free beer. Thats how America works best whether its helping you move, giving you a ride to the airport or getting someone elected to local office. Free beer makes it all balance out in the end.

But first let's take care of sending me & Bingo something real, real nice. You're probably on your way to Post Office anyway.

Thanks for your years of unrequited support...

stanhope & Bingo

****Update******


Got our first "stuff" today - was some kinda monkey tea with something like monkeys in a barrel only they were rabbits with looped arms.

Needless to say that Bingo was thrilled. No that isnt sarcasm. Bingo gets amazingly excited when an unknown package comes for her. And so do I  - just not with the absolute child-like wonder of Christmas morning of a 4 year old. But close.

Thanks and I'll try to keep up the blog and repost what retarded thing you sent - your name being witheld if need be.

Still appreciate it all.

See you folks after vacation. Lotsa dates up & coming up.

stanhope


**********

June 6th

More great stuff...

Thanks to Chris Laurent for the personalized Blue Angels schwag. Getting a giant envelope with a return address that says Department of the Navy - Commanding Officer makes one scour their memory trying to check who he might have pissed off. Glad to have friends in high places.

Thanks to Constance X for the yoga shirt for Bingo and the bookCrimes Against Logic which looks fantastic. If only I could turn off the tv.

And Chris Dewberry who sent this itemized list along with the items:

"1 roll Scotch tape stolen from work
1 Curious George sign
1 flip book
1 bubble blowing peep
2 triple antibiotic ointment
2 pull-cord skeletons ( 1 with jaw)
2 itch releif creams
2 toothpicks
2 antispetic twoelettes
7 paper clips
2 alcohol wipes 1 Alabama keychain (stolen from co-worker)
1 chunk of stick
1 goofy lips whistle thing
2 demagnatized magnets
1 ugly cat sticker
1 abandoned frequent buyer card
7 sheets of paper
1 oatmeal raisin cookie my wife made. I wouldn't eat cookies I got in the mail but you're adventerous."


Thanks and will certainly eat the cookie. I eat most everything I get in the mail.

You guys made our morning fun and I'll never forget it until later when I'm drunk.

Much appreciated,

stanhope & Bingo

Thanks to you UK person that sent the coughing ashtray & the crap car cards & Stylophone (that Bingo claimed right away.)

This is ridiculous.

10:29 PM - 35 Comments - 33 Kudos - Add Comment

Philly Tix on sale now

I'm playing the Trocadero October 18th. I know its early but Philly always sells out so I'm giving you plenty of advance notice. Get that shit now, motherfucker. And pass word along to any Philly fuckers you know.

Tickets Here!

11:43 PM - 17 Comments - 19 Kudos - Add Comment

Fuck TicketMaster - Heads Up To Comics/Musicians

If you're booking your own shit and doing door deals, check out BrownPaperTickets.com if you want to do your own online sales.

They charge almost nothing to you or the customer (99 cents and 2.5 percent of the ticket price - fuck you Ticketmaster!) and they're idiot-safe so even I can do it myself.

Plus, you can see exactly what you're selling rather than what the booker tells you you're selling. I've never had a booker pay me for pre-sales that no-showed and now I know hwat that adds up to roughly.

Oh, and they're actual human beings who give a fuck.

Like Paypal if Paypal had a soul or a face or a heart or a warm, self-cleaning and inviting orifice rather than simply being inexpensive.

There's my tip of the day. Pass it around. Word of mouth, you know.

stanhope

5:57 PM - 25 Comments - 48 Kudos - Add Comment

2008 Road Dates...UPDATED

Before anything else... subscribe to this blog! Then you'll see when I book your town. If your neck o the woods aint on here, its probably because I was already there.

Eventually I'll get near you - Generally it works Midwest in the spring then NW, TX & SE in late summer, East Coast in the fall, Florida, AZ & SoCal late in the year. UK dates usually spring up here n there too.

If I'm playing near you, send word by blog, bulletin or setting yourself on fire in the park with popcorn in your colon, leaving only the show info in your suicide note.

You're the only advertising I got, fagholes.

stanhope

PS - Shows without ticket links dont have em online yet - check back soon. Or maybe I just suck and you should try Google.

***************************************************

4:33 AM - 164 Comments - 159 Kudos - Add Comment

The Most Important Thing You Can Do...

If you wanna see me live, the only way you're gonna find out if I'm playing near you is here or on my mailing list and "here" seems pretty bleak.

No longer can you find friends by zip code or invite to event by zip code. Meaning unless you read every bulletin or come to my page all the time, I cant find you to let you know I'm playing down the street.

So subscribe to my blog - but more important, go to my...

Mailing List.

Sign up. You wont get spam and you wont get shit from me except upcoming gigs or news of new DVDs, etc.

My website is still fucked up and Myspace is so much easier than finding someone to fix it but at this point, getting on the mailing list is the guaranteed bet for getting news of live shows.

You get on the mailing list and I'll push my rotting corpse through another year of stand-up.

Deal?

9:52 PM - 30 Comments - 34 Kudos - Add Comment