I received an early birthday gift....
Current mood: determined
Category: Blogging

...from Mother Nature....damn her!

Have you seen that tv commercial where Mother Nature is trying to ruin a woman's vacation by giving her monthly gift?  (well the women will know it...the guys may or may not...lol)  It's for a feminine hygiene product...enough said!

Oh yeah that's me. Thanks Mother Nature for ruining any plans I had for any fun on my birthday!

Sigh. Yet another downer. Oh well....it's better than the alternative right? ha ha

I know TMI...sorry!! 

On another note....I have a date in two weeks!   

It's actually with someone I dated previously...oh about 5-6 years ago. I'm a little nervous. We have communicated through the years but haven't seen each other since we stopped dating. I'm also excited to see him again. He was one of the few guys that I really liked. So we will see...

Quinn started 3rd grade at a new school. I've been a little worried about him. This is the first year he has to ride the bus and it's a new school, new friends, etc....but he's been doing pretty well ....after a bad first day. I'm glad he's adjusting to the whole situation. He's made a couple new friends. I told him that I wanted him to invite a few from his class to his birthday party (which I need to get in gear after classes are done and started putting it all together!).

Ok...I need to get my ass busy today and do some homework since yesterday I was dead pretty much. ha ha

Until next time...

12:51 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

In one week....
Current mood: curious
Category: Blogging

...it's my birthday. Not that anyone really cares... ha!

I'm not really looking forward to it, but I can't stop it from happening either. I really wanted to do something, but thanks to all my wonderful friends that's not happening either. Oh well, what can you do? Nothing.

So the weekend before my birthday (which is this coming up Labor Day weekend) will be spent like every other weekend. Nothing special.

There are a few things I do want for my birthday, although I know I won't get....since I don't get birthday presents any more....but I thought I'd make a little wish list anyway. If for nothing else, for me.

Here it goes:

1. Vivid perfume by Liz Claiborne  - This is my favorite perfume and I can never find it anywhere. I'm almost out :(

2. Manicure/pedicure - it's been forever and I really need one!

3. Memory for my desktop PC - cause it's slow as shit!

4. Gift cards (Target, Wal-Mart, Kohls) - cause I really need to buy some thing for me :)

5. Gift card to a nice restaurant (Max & Erma's, Olive Garden, etc) - so I can go out to eat for once! Or even gc's for like Starbuck's would be great too! So I can treat myself to a fru-fru coffee.

6. DVD's - Lost (Season 1 & 2), Battlestar Galactica (Season 3), PS I Love You, and others I just can't think of any more off hand...lol  (if interested just email me later I'm sure I'll think of something)

Well that's really all I can think of right now. It's not much I know. I could put some big ticket items on there but that would be unrealistic...like a new 32" flat screen hd tv ...or a new (newer) car....or a blu-ray dvd player....or a new iPod...or a new tattoo....etc....lol  All the things I know I won't get.

Ok...I'm off to class!

Until next time....

1:30 PM - 4 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

It’s time to take a break....
Current mood: confused
Category: Blogging

...I think....from everything...myspace, men, myspace, men...ok those are the only two things I can think of I need a break from.... ha ha

It seems that my last blog prior to the poem one....you know the really bitchy one?.... has been mistakenly assumed by a few male persons that it might have been about them or something they did. Let me tell you now....it wasn't! 

That particular blog was about a male...true.... however it was about the S-man. I haven't talked about this with anyone, except the very select few....meaning 3 of my closest friends.  You see, we (S-man & I) haven't really been communicating until very recently. And due to some mixed signals on his part and over-assuming on mine due to the mixed signals....well made me have a little emotional breakdown. I'm not going to go into specifics but it wasn't pretty on my end. I'm still hurting from it.....after all no one really likes to be told they aren't wanted or don't want to have anything with....do they?

And knowing that ...yes the poem is about him as well.

Now if I could only take a break from myspace...I might be able to get my life back together...haha. It's harder than it sounds. I thought about completely re-doing my page or deleting the apps.  Mobsters gets me so frustrated yet I like to play it and now I am getting more mobsters. On the down side, that means I've had to add a bunch of people to my friends list ...whom I don't know....and it kind of gives me the willie-jeebies a lil. So I really don't know about that yet. I should just give myspace up altogether, cause it ends up taking up a lot of my time.

I did change my top friends list...and even doing that I think I pissed some people off. I can't win.

Well, I just wanted to get that out there. Now I need to eat breakfast, shower and try to squeeze in some homework before class. Today we go to meet Quinn's teacher at his new school. I'm hoping that goes well.

Until next time...

Currently reading : Fearless Fourteen (Stephanie Plum, No. 14) By Janet Evanovich Release date: 2008-06-17

11:57 AM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Inside Smiles
Current mood: sad
Category: Writing and Poetry

(this is a work in progress...but I wanted to share)

Inside Smiles

He makes me smile on the inside

when he glances my way.

He makes me smile on the inside

just by hearing his voice.

He makes me smile on the inside

with a simple touch.

I miss the inside smiles

from the heat of your gaze.

I miss the inside smiles

                                                                                                from the sound of your voice.

I miss the inside smiles

                                                                                                from the feel of your touch.

It hurts to see you and not be near you.

                No more smiles on the inside.

It pains to have you near me and not be able to touch you.

                No more smiles on the inside.

I want to smile on the inside again

                                                                                                but now you won't let me in.

~trr~

Currently listening : Back to Black By Amy Winehouse Release date: 2007-03-13

1:20 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Things just aren’t going my way...
Current mood: depressed
Category: Blogging

It seems everytime I try to plan something, it NEVER seems to work out.

I'm getting so depressed right now I will probably end up cancelling my birthday party. Only a few people have responded that they will come. I've even thought about moving it to the following weekend, but why should I have to accomodate other people's schedules for MY birthday??

All I wanted to do was have some friends come over and celebrate with me or do something. Fuck it.

Things haven't been going well on the "love life" end either. I'm so sick of all the mixed signals and other bullshit I don't know why I even fucking bother with men anymore.

AND DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT "NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THAT" 

BULL-FUCKING-SHIT 

....deep down you are all the fucking same ....especially when it comes to me.

That's all. I'm just tired of everything.

5:49 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos

In one month...
Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Blogging

...I will be 40. Yep 4-0. The BIG 4 0. Over the hill or at least getting ready to head down it...LOL .... whatever you want to call it....that's where I'll be.

I've been reflecting a lot lately about the past 40 years of my life. Some good things have happened ...some bad....some hard times...some good times.

And I guess there isn't really anything I'd re-do if I had the chance to do it all over again. I believe that's a good sign.

Some random things I've noticed about myself that have changed are:

» My temper is a LOT longer as I've grown older. I used to have a very short fuse. And it isn't the red hair, cause I used to be blonde! LOL

» I don't feel "old" like I thought I would at turning 40.

» I'm happy about not looking my age, it doesn't bother me as much as it used to.

» I'm a strong person, but I can still get hurt. (I never used to think I was strong)

» I am sexy and I don't need anyone to tell me that I am ...hehe

» I don't need a man in my life, but at times I sure do want one and other times I'm glad I don't have one. 

» In other words, I'm very independent and can do fine on my own!

» I'm smart, sassy, fiery, passionate, and sarcastic, so if you can't handle being around me...that's fine.... don't.

» I don't take shit anymore from anyone....be it male or female....you do me wrong and you are gone. Life is too short to waste on people who don't deserve second chances.

» I'm happy with my body. All parts of it. Small boobs, big ass, etc. It's all mine and I don't want to change it......ok maybe tone it up a little....but no surgical changes. I'm going to age gracefully and naturally.....cause that's what makes me beautiful.

» I am beautiful.....guys just don't realize it....lol

» I love having red hair....so I'm keeping it forever!

Ok that's all I can think of right now. There is something else I wanted to blog about but for the life of me I can't think of it.....LOL

Oh well I'm sure it will come to me eventually!

As for my birthday party, I'm still trying to think of something. I may just end up having it in back of my apartment.    Anyone have any suggestions?????  Let me know, cause it's coming quick and I really want to do something!!

Until next time...

10:35 AM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Color me bad...
Current mood: indescribable
Category: Blogging

...or I should say color my hair bad!

Ok, so I decided to color my hair last night. Why I do so later in the evening is beyond me...it's always when the mood strikes me to color it.

Yesterday at Target I decided to get a different color than I usually do. I wanted something a little more red...and boy did I get it. The color I choose was Garnier Nutriesse 66 True Red Pomegranate. Now the color on the girl's head on the box is this really pretty red/auburn color. That's where they get you! I'm sure everyone has seen a pomegranate fruit. It's red but there are some pink/purple undertones. Well guess what? That's what my hair looks like now. DOH!

Grrrrrrr 

Quinn was asleep by the time it was done so he didn't get to see it. I woke up this morning and walked into the kitchen. Quinn was at Fluffy's cage telling him good morning when he heard me coming and turned around. I think he jumped back a little upon seeing my hair. 

"Wow that's really dark red. No one is going to recognize you."

"Yeah I don't know if I like it or not. It's too dark and it looks a little pink underneath"      I lift up my hair on the side so he can see....and it does too! "I tried a different color and don't think I like it"

"It does. What color did you last time?  I liked that better."

"You don't like this one do you?"

"No not really."

Sigh.

And I have the wedding next weekend..... which I still don't know if I have someone to go with. Damn. It. Will probably scare any potentials away with the new hair color too. HA HA

I guess I'll just be washing my hair constantly to get some of it out. I wonder if adding some highlights would help? hmmmm

Probably not.

I'll just have to deal with it. I can't afford to go get it colored professionally. That's too damn expensive. Haircuts are bad enough, but add color.... ridiculous.

Oh well that's my color story today. Maybe I'll post some pics up and get opinions. lol

Now to go get ready to see The Dark Knight!

Until next time....

5:04 AM - 6 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Random Check-In
Current mood: naughty
Category: Blogging

Oh where have I been? What have I been up to?

All my vast readers (14 last count...well that subscribe anyway...maybe they don't even read....lol) are probably wondering...huh?

Well I've been here. Most of you have probably seen me spending a lot of time on myspace and may have commented to me about it. Well let me tell you.....I've been playing on Mobsters. It's freakin addictin. I'm a gansta. hahahaha  

Seriously, I'm usually on that if you see me on. Trying to get missions completed, trying to see who I can "whack" to get the bounty money, buying property, buying equipment aka guns, etc.  In the mean time, my ass keeps getting kicked in all the fights.  I've been killed 4 times and lost way too many fights. I guess I'm not that good of a gansta! LOL  But I've been having fun with it and it's a nice distraction (although it can distract me too long) from homework.

Which is another thing I've been up to.....classes and homework. I don't know what in the hell I was thinking taking 5 classes in the summer. DOH!  I'm still trying to get the flow going on managing my time to get it all done. I'll get it done and manage. I always do!

In between classes and homework, Quinn and I have been trying to squeeze in some activities. Here's some things we've been doing since I blogged last:

☼  July 4th - Went to see the Pickerington fireworks. They had some jumpee/moonbounce things down there and Quinn loves those. We had some homemade ice cream. Lit some sparklers. Then the fireworks!!  We had a good time.

☼  July 5th - Went to a cookout at Buckeye Lake. That was fun. Quinn had his first pontoon boat ride. He started to get a little bit "seasick" but recovered before actually letting loose. It was fun and relaxing.

☼  July 8th - Went to see WALL-E. This is a really good movie. Sad, but good. Not all sad, plenty of funny parts. But you should go see it!!!!

☼  July 11th - Went to see Hellboy II - The Golden Army. This was really good. I'm still partial to the first one, but I did enjoy it. They did a good job of continuing the story.

I've tried to drag Quinn to the pool a few times, but he hasn't been interested. He says the water is too cold in this pool. LOL  I think it's because the shallow end is 4 ft and our old pool was only 3 ft.  He doesn't know how to swim yet and I'm not pushing him to learn quickly. That is something I want him to feel comfortable about and learn at his own pace. Mainly since I can't afford swimming lessons right now.

We will be going to see a few more movies this summer. Next up is The Dark Knight.  I'm trying to plan a couple of trips to the zoo. I'm going to buy a membership soon. Also may try to squeeze in a day at the new waterpark, Zoombezi Bay, right next to the zoo.  May even try to make a day trip down to Hocking Hills to Old Man's Cave.

Megan's wedding is coming up on the 26th and I'm really looking forward to it. Although now it looks as though I need to find another date, since S-Man hasn't been in the picture and although he still said he'd go, doesn't look like that's going to happen.  Therefore, I am looking for a date on Saturday, July 26th for a wedding......anyone available?  LOL   Although, I'd rather go with someone I've already met ....don't want to go on a "blind" date to my good friend's wedding with someone and have a crappy time. You know??

Well that's about all I have at the moment. This turned out to be a long random check-in!!

Until next time...

Currently listening : Eve 6 By Eve 6 Release date: 1998-04-28

6:02 AM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

"Take a step back...
Current mood: focused
Category: Blogging

...and just don't bother with him any more."

That is what my friend's have been telling me to do and I'm taking their advise.

I've felt a little foolish lately anyway....letting a 24 yr old get under my skin. Oh well....live and learn.

So starting today (which I should have started Monday), I am going to totally focus back on my classes and nothing else....except Quinn of course. Men just aren't worth it right now. My education and finishing my degree is.

That being said, my first week went pretty well. And, as expected, I already have lots of homework. lol  I'm really going to try to get it all (or at least most of it) done today, so I can enjoy the holiday weekend with Quinn.

We usually go into Pickerington to see the fireworks and that's what I'm planning to do tomorrow. They have a night parade and there is a little carnival in the park. We'll go see the parade, hit the carnival and pick a good spot to watch the fireworks. It should be a good time. I'm hoping it doesn't rain!!

Well that's all I have. Sorry for being a complete whiny-ass the past couple of blogs. I am entitled at least once a month to do that...LOL

Until next time....

Currently reading : The Hollow (Sign of Seven Trilogy, Book 2) By Nora Roberts

2:31 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I need to vent...
Current mood: bitchy
Category: Blogging

...about something that is bugging me. This blog will more than likely be bitchy. So I'm giving you fair warning now, if you want to stop reading.

Here it goes:

People who do not return phone calls, emails, text messages, etc. I completely understand if you are busy, hey I am too....but have the courtesy to take 2 freaking seconds to respond back ..."hey I'm busy"...or "can't talk now"...or "I'll catch you later".  How fucking hard is that??  Have some respect and common courtesy people! 

This is a really big issue with me. I totally hate being ignored. I don't want to be the center of attention, but give me some attention. Everyone needs attention. We thrive on it. It makes us feel special, important, needed, loved, cared for, unique, and so on. Some people want more attention than others.  I just need a little attention. From my friends, family, guys I'm dating or interested in....don't just give me some then pull back and be elusive. I dealt with three years of that crap from The Guy, I don't need any more bullshit.

It's not just guys either. It's my girl friends. Some of them don't return my calls, some just don't call, and the few that do ...it's a rare occasion.

It's times like now that I wonder why I even bother trying to make/keep friends or date guys.  People might be curious why I don't go out more than I do...it's cause of this reason. No one fucking calls me.

I'm sorry. I'm just upset. Just irritated. I told you I'm PMSing....ha ha

Sometimes I think I should be a total bitch all the time. Who cares? It's always the nice people that get stomped on anyway. Right?

I hate being negative... and I know it probably seems like I am a lot in these blogs, but I haven't had many reasons to be positive. Then when something positive does come around, something always screws it up.

I swear I have bad karma. I'm wondering what I did in a past life to get such bad luck in this one. I think I might have been a man in a past life and treating women like shit, used them, abused them. Now in this life as a woman I'm the one getting used, etc. I don't know how much I believe in the past life stuff, but I do believe in karma. Maybe one day I should go get my tarot cards read or something...ha ha.

Well I feel a little better getting this off my chest. Sorry for the rant. Next blog hopefully will have something more positive and exciting ...maybe.

Until next time...

Currently reading : The Hollow (Sign of Seven Trilogy, Book 2) By Nora Roberts

3:03 PM - 4 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment