Kanye West.....
Current mood: grateful
Category: MySpace

 Tonight was a busy night. I just wanted to chill but I helped Jasmine get ready for her prom -she wore a cute hippie looking wine colored skirt that hung above the knees and she rejected the sueded flip flops I bought her, instead, she wanted to go barefoot. Her dread locks were tied up and some of her hair stayed down, you know, half up, half down, like Angelina Jolie always wears hers. I guess this hippie attitude comes from me seeing the Grateful Dead about 50 times while I was pregnant with her. I am happy she is a rock chick; I'm not complaining, I just wish she would have worn shoes and maybe let me buy her a dress. The other kids and parents must think "That Dr. Dot must spend all her money on rock and roll t-shirts and globe trotting as Jasmine wears all these hippie rags and converse high tops that have more holes in them then the streets of Blackburn!" But that's not true. Jasmine is not a consumer. She loathes getting presents and being given money etc. Very practical and frugal. Like me. I do love me a new lap top and my iPod though :)

ANYWAYS, after that hectic whirlwind, I went home and massaged Joe Jackson (who lives in Berlin now, and is recording his new album) from 11pm until 1am when my phone rang. Kanye West was in Berlin (on a promo tour) and wanted a massage. I could have sent one of my assistants, but I was curious to meet this man that Perez Hilton and the press always talk about. They usually mention this "He stormed out of an award ceremony, angry, because his video didn't win the Video of the Year award!". They scathe him and I wanted to see if he was really like they described. In fact, I have never even heard his music, the only reason I knew of him was because of this nasty rumor. That and I know he did a song with Jamie Foxx, who I LOVE since seeing (and buying) the film RAY. 

I was expecting a WHOLE lotta attitude. I got NONE.  I was lead to his room and was kept waiting for a few minutes, along with his assistant. He opened the door and I yapped "Avon Calling!". heh heh. His room smelt like he had been burning a stack of rubber tires! He was holding what was left of some plug adapter, which was now half black from the flames and melted. LMFAO!!!!!!!!

Apparently the hotel gave him a plug adapter and what he needed was an electricity converter, like a mini transformer or so. It was their fault, not his. Thank God it didn't fry his lap top! Anyways, we got that sorted, I told the front desk in German to sort it out. I massaged him for about 2 hours and the music he chose to play from his lap top was mostly Maroon 5, then later, Modest Mouse. He said he is friends with Adam, the singer of Maroon 5 (I told him he was a client of mine too) and that they did a song together. I never head much Maroon 5 up until tonight. I only knew the two popular tunes "She will be loved" and "This love has taken it's toll", you know those catchy tunes.. Anyways, then we heard Modest Mouse, who he said is one of his favorites. I told him how I met Modest Mouse one night at one of my karaoke hang outs in NYC: Cassidys Pub, W 55th street. They have karaoke every Friday night (no they didn't pay me to write this). Modest Mouse was in there, acting like wankers. Showing off, hogging the mic, being really obnoxious and the singer was snotty to me and my friends. Once we said "aren't you Modest Mouse?" then suddenly they were all sweet and polite and they bounced right after that. As in, "oh shit, we can't act like cunts anymore, they know who we are". Whatever. The band is tight, but have a listen, the singer sucks ass. He must purposely sing out of tune and all over the place. Have a listen, then you will know what I mean. He's a pretentious twat. 

Oh LORD I am totally off the subject now, which is HOW WONDERFUL Mr. West is! I asked him about this rumor, about him storming out of the award show in a sour grapes mood. He said "It's true" but then told me the whole story, the part the press so conveniently over looks when taking the piss out of him, you know, slagging him off. Ok, for you yanks, when they are being really mean and writing bad about him. (see why British/Irish slang is so useful? It gets to the point faster).
The missing part of the story is that his management and record company told him his video had won Video of the Year, and insisted that he attend this ceremony. 

Here is what you find when you google this crap:

Kanye West, you may remember, stormed the stage at the MTV Europe Music Awards in Denmark last week, interrupting the winners' speech, claiming his video deserved the "Best Video" Award for "Touch the Sky," which lost to Justice vs. Simian's project "We Are Your Friends."

 No fucking WONDER he was pissed off! He was lied to. He was told his video had won. So he was lead there under false pretenses. I just think it's unfair how the press leaves shit out. So you can't say they are lying, because they just leave shit out. Guys all over can relate with that method, as they use it all the time when explaining to their better half where they fuck they have been, etc.

I think he's cool. He was calm, friendly, intelligent, generous, very funny and had NO ego or attitude at all. I am not an ass kisser/brown noser, I am honest. The guy is wonderful. I know it's tabu to say, but he has an amazing ass. I told him too, so there.

x

ps. The only bad thing about me working until 4am and now still up online until 7:30 am, is I will be too tired to go and try to massage Lou Reed later today. Oh well, I think he is over rated anyways. Sweet Jane and take a walk on the wild side are not enough to cut into my 8 hours of sleep (Sour Grapes). Dragging my cranky ass into bed now. 

1:51 AM - 15 Comments - 21 Kudos - Add Comment

STEREOPHONICS get the Dr. Dot rub down in Berlin

I had only been in Berlin for 24 hours and was already massaging the amazing Stereophonics. I wasn't even close to catching my breath or unpacking, but nevertheless, not tired enough to turn down such a gig. My friend Quinner, whom I've known since 1992 is on tour with them. He invited me to come rub everybody down. I have never met this band before and certainly wasn't familiar with their music. A friend of mine from the UK told me "they are as huge as Coldplay! Go see them!". I was so tired from my jet lag, I was really not in the mood to go anywhere, but dragged my tired ass to the Columbia Hall anyways to see them all.

Glad I did. What a great bunch of people. The management was sweet as pie and so was the band. The singer, Kelly has an incredible voice, rough and strong, super powerful. It was a sold out show and the place was heavin' with Brits who live in Berlin. I could hear every song perfectly from my massage room. I didn't see much of the show, as they smoke so much in Berlin, the air makes your eyes blood red within minutes. The band was not amused at how smokey the place was. It's so ignorant when people smoke at concerts, the smoke kills the singers voice and makes it hell.

^ Kelly and I (slap that arrogant look off my face k?)

Anyhow, the bands main members are Kelly Jones (singer/guitarist/song writer) and Richard Jones (Bass). They come from South Wales (yummy accents!) and have been friends since like the 3rd grade (that's what Quinner told me anyways). The drummer is from Argentina and is called Javier Weyler. The keyboardist, Barry, is from Manchester and had gorgeous eyes, like most Mancunians by the way.... I didn't take his picture though, slipped my mind, too much going on.

^ Richard (6 feet of fun) ..... errm,you can see my leopard bra.

After the show they all got a massage and we hung around havin' a laugh and what not. The roadies were in and out of the dressing room and even they were cool. One of the cool things about being in Berlin is that when bands pass through, they are usually on their way to another country and they give me certain things that they can not bring across borders, loads of small change and other goodies... YAY!

^ Javier the drummer and ........................... ^ Kelly wearing the gask mask

< Kellys autograph (purrrrrr)

Set list:

Superman/Doorman/Trees/Helga/Vegas/Devi/Mr. Writer/Rewind/Roll up and shine/Pedalpusher/Too many Sandwiches/Size Nines/Deadhead/I'm Alright/Maybe Tomorrow/Bartender/Local Boy///Encore:Traffic/Just Looking/Dakota....

If the lads are heading your way, GO SEE THEM!

10:34 AM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Ask Dr. Dot (Shiny Balls vs. Hairy Balls)

"You give advice don't you Doctor?" my last massage client asked me. "Yes", I told him. He then showed me many Shiny bumps all over his skin between his belly button and penis. "My wife likes a clean shaven genital area, so I have been getting brazilian waxes for her, to encourage her to spend more time down there, but when the hair grows back in, I break out and it is itchy and looks nasty". Yes, I agreed, it looks unflattering. Well, I gave the guy a sample of this lotion you can get at most beauty supply outlets, called "Tend Skin". Apply at night and again after shaving, this will help. Let me just comment on this whole metro-sexual trend, that queer eye for the straight guy has started. Women usually like the natural look, and if you have too much hair down there, trim it with scissors, but going through all that pain and trouble to make it look nice for her/him, well, I just don't see the point. First of all, men's genital are not the prettiest things on earth, so the hair kind of camouflages it which is a good thing. Second, most women orgasm better when they are on top by rubbing their clit on the aforementioned area, between the navel and penis. If it is hairy, put some KY lube on there so she can slide better, but by shaving, well, you are bound to have SOME stubble there and this will hurt her clit like a cheese grater would. I personally like a guy to look like a GUY, hairy and all, not plucked, waxed and dyed (unless you are a porn star, why bother?)But if you insist on dragging your hairy ass down to Heidi the German bikini wax pro, then pick up some astringent for your bald jewels while you are at it.

 Dr. Dot

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Dear Dr. Dot,

I partied all night long and need to look gorgeous tomorrow, help!". Puky Pam

Dear PP,

That is an easy one. After your drinking binge, go home and eat something, say a piece of pizza ( hey, if you drink all that a few carbs won't matter anymore) or a baked potato to absorb some of the poison heading towards your poor liver. Swallow a couple aspirins and sleep as much as you can ( with window open for fresh air).Morning: For an immediate face lift and zit killer, take a couple aspirins and one alka seltzer tablet and crush them with the bottom of a glass into powder form. Add a half teaspoon of water and mix to form a paste. Quickly take paste rub it over face in circular motion, avoiding eyes. You should feel a tingly sensation that slightly burns. Leave on for 5 minutes or more, preferably lying on your back with legs straight up against the wall to kill two birds with one stone. You could even lie there for 10 or 20 minutes letting the blood leave your legs and head towards your face, making you feel and look rested. Wash off and take an ice cube, get it wet and smooth all over face, including under eyes. Then moisturize face with sun block and under eyes with a dab of vaseline. Take some vitamin C tablets, a cup of strong coffee. If you are a woman, use minimal eye make up, but darker lip shade than normal ( distract em from your tired eyes) and tie hair back for instant face lift.Visine to top off the routine and you should look as good as new for the day, then go home and sleep your ass off and don't do that again ( until next week).

Dr. Dot

Last year about this time, I started speaking with one of my exes again.He's one of the "ones that got away" and I can't stop my initial feelingsfor him....you know, the PERFECT GUY. Well, what happens is, we'll starttalking for a few days for hours upon hours, then one day he'll stopreturning my calls for months. He'll call me a few months later and say hewants to marry me, and then drop off the face of the earth again.As you well know, there's only so much a girl can take, but he really isthat perfect guy. My friends haven't been much help in the advicedepartment, and I'm at the point where I'm utterly confused.What's a girl to do? Should I call him, make a move?

 Lovely Rita

Dear Rita, I am almost positive he has a girlfriend. I am sure he can't forget you, but is in a relationship and is afraid leaving her for you is a mistake, so he can't decide. Many people do that, they are afraid to change waterfalls but often take a dip to see how it feels. Calling him and chasing him is like the egg chasing the sperm "here I am, don't forget me, don't you want me?" sounds unnatural right? Don't wait around, perfect or not, time is ticking and life is short. If a man can live without you, LET HIM!

Dr. Dot  

10:46 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Def Leppard: Still smokin' hot after all these years...

I know, I haven't blogged properly in ages. If you knew how busy I was, you would be surprised that I blog at all. I just returned last night, well morning actually at 2:30am from a mini tour. Just like the good ol days. I left Saturday and drove to Catherine's house. Catherine is my massage assistant who covers the Baltimore/DC/VA area. She is not just my employee; she has won a special spot in my heart as a dear friend. She is the most organized person I know and works her ass off, making her one of my favorite massage assistants. Anyhow, her best friend, Em (short for Emily) has also grown to be one of my pals.

These two gals have been Def leppard fans for years. In fact, that's how they found out about me a couple of years ago. They saw me on tv, that VH-1 special I did called 'A night with' in which they interviewed me and they showed a bunch of Def Lepp footage as that was the first band I have ever massaged, so in a sense, they started off my career. I had met the Cars before I met Def Lepp, but didn't get to massage the Cars. When Def Lepp came to Hampton VA, I skipped school ( I was in the 10th grade) and me and my two gal pals Elaine and Elise (huge Def Lepp fans) and went to the concert hall and met Phil Collin (guitarist of the band) in the parking lot. He asked us to bring him shopping as someone stole their clothes from the gig before. Anyhow, I massaged them and they were surprised how such a tiny chick has such strong hands. I massaged them a few more times, up in R.I and CT, but haven't seen them since then! I have been living in Germany from 1989 to 2002 and just haven't seen them around.

Anyhow, I drove to Cassy's (short for Catherine) left my car there, then we went to pick up Em in Virginia, THEN we drove to West Virginia to rest up for the next day, a day of massages for Def Lepp. Em and Cassy has met the band loads of times and they are 'cool' fans, never bugging them or making a scene, so the whole band and management knows them already. When we arrived at the gig in Charleston, WV it was hot as HELL out, I mean like 95 degrees! We were treated like queens, Malvin (their famous tour manager) had a golf cart pick us up from the parking lot with our heavy massage table and chair and we were brought rite back stage.

Malvin is almost part of the band, he even sang a song on a b-side of one of their singles. He sang "Please release me". He can sing his ass off! He is Welsh and has a great sense of humor. The girls and I watched the sound check; Phil looked at me like "eh? is that you?" lol.

^ Joe ^ Vivian ^ Sav

< Phil and a Rick

I really love watching sound checks; it's so special and informal. A peek into the real deal. In fact, I love them SO much, that in 1988 I went on the whole East coast leg of Frank Zappa's tour "Broadway the Hardway" massaging for free. I told Frank to just allow me to see every sound check and show (and let me eat in catering daily) and I will massage for free. He agreed. It was heaven on earth yay! But now of course, I don't work for food/music lol!

Backstage, we were set up not far from the dressing rooms. Vivian was new to me, I hadn't met him before, as when I massaged them, Steve Clarke was still alive, bless his heart, see my pic of him below). He was kicking a soccer ball around before the show, only wearing shorts, which made a certain friend of mine all hot and bothered lol! He was super friendly to me and I can see why she adores him, nice abs and hot accent!

<Steve Clarke a LONG time ago!

I didn't take as many pictures as I normally do, I was so busy massaging (and stuffing my face in catering) that it slipped my mind, but I was see the lads again soon. Moving rite along, they played first and then Brian Adams took the stage. I saw him backstage, but didn't speak to him. I massaged Malvin and then later when Brian was on stage, I massaged Phil. He has got to be the friendliest Rock star out there. I am NOT brown nosing, he just is! He signs everything for fans and poses for pictures; he is just so pleasant and is still looking great. He looks the SAME as when I last saw him! I whipped out an old picture of us and he laughed his head off when he saw it and then signed it for me. I am pissed at myself for not bringing more, as he was eager to see more old pics. My freakin' printer is acting up, makes everything look blue, so Cassy printed this out for me real quick at her house.

< The first meeting :)

^ I wore that slinky silver top, (which has a tiny Stones pin in the cleavage area) under a big old T-shirt out of the house. My dad would have NOT let me out of the house in that top. I was trying to look older, as I knew if they knew how old, er, young I was, they would dismiss the whole idea of getting a massage from me, so I told them I was 19. I know, it's naughty to lie about one's age, but too late now. I think it's fucking hilarious how tough and grown up I was trying to look. I wouldn't find it funny if Jasmine was pulling the same shit though!

After Phil's brutal rub down, I worked on Rick Allen, the drummer. You have to have been living under a rock if you don't know that he unfortunately lost his arm in a horrid car crash years ago. He is the deepest one in the band in my opinion. He is so cool and spiritual. He is so happily married and at peace. It is a pleasure to work on such a kind hearted soul. He gave me advice during the massage on what books to pick up and spoke many words of wisdom, the guy is fucking mad cool!

Phil was loving my strong hands and said he wouldn't mind another massage at the next gig, as did Rick so the gals and I decided to make the long trip to Ohio for the gig in Dayton. I suggested to Phil and Rick that they should try the 'Four handed massage' in Ohio and they were diggin' the idea. Since I couldn't print out any proper pics for them all to sign, I brought a huge union jack flag and gave it to Malvin. He promised he would have the lads sign it. Sure enough, in Ohio, his beautiful daughter, who also works on the tour handed it to me and said 'enjoy'

^ Hard to read, but they all signed it                                ^ Close up of Phil's autograph

After the massages, we were put on another golf cart as the parking lot was pretty far. The driver put Em in the passenger seat, Cassy on the back on top of the massage table and chair and then me on the front of the cart, as in, sitting on the hood. Em held me on there by holding my backpack. The drive wanted a massage while he drove, so Cassy used one hand on one shoulder and I used one hand on the other while he drove (read:dangerous). Directly after his show ended, Bryan Adams was running down the ramp that went from the stage to the very back of the stage, which put him in front of our path, we almost ran him over, I swore I heard him singing "I'm gonna run from you".

^ The dangerous golf cart

The golf cart driver told us of a karaoke dive called the "Half way home". He warned us not to go there, but they do have karaoke 7 nights a week, so we couldn't resist. It was really like out of a movie this place. Red necks galore in there. They had a stripper pole in the middle of the bar which the guys were taking turns spinning around while some played pool. EVERYONE smoked so our eyes were burning the second we walked in. I think I found out where Dave Chappell is hiding out by the way, as the only back person in there looked EXACTLY like him. He was hogging the stripper's pole and occasionally belting out country tunes. I tore up James Brown's "I feel good" , Led Zepps "Black Dog" and Bob Seger's "Old time rock and roll".

Most of the people in their couldn't understand me. They said I talk to fast and kept asking me if I was from England! One young guy was pleading with me to take him home with me. He was wearing a taco bell uniform and chained smoked. I asked him "what state is West of here, I really don't know where I am" and he said "uh, North Carolina and Vermont". HELLO!!! Need I say more? Sadly, he was the hottest thing in there. One girl came up to me and said "I hear you do massages!" and I said yes, I do, in fact, she does too (pointing at Cassy). She said " I do TOO!!". I thought she was just drunk and being friendly but she was serious. I told her in order to join my team, she would have to massage me and so many hours later she and one of her guy pals came to our hotel room to show us her style. She massaged my feet, then Cassy's back, then mine. She is wicked strong and so fucking hired! So, now, we will have a Dr. Dot assistant in bum fuck West Virginia! Even in shops there, people walk around with no shoes and no shirts. They have never heard of Green Tea in West Virginia and when I asked for mineral water, they looked at me like I asked them if they spoke Russian.

< West Virginians who gave us directions

Even the parrot in our hotel spoke with a Southern drawl. The people are super friendly and laid back, but not the brightest. I felt like Albert fucking Einstein there. I was going mad though, couldn't find anything green to eat (the folks in the karaoke bar told us "you can't find anything green around here except teeth and underwear!") so we headed to the capital of all Southern States, WALMART. You can get everything there. When we walked in, Em was head butted by a karaoke singing dear (he only sings country songs apparently)

< Em after the attack

Anyhow, we bought tons of fruit and shit at Walmart and headed to Ohio. Cassy did ALL of the driving as Em doesn't drive and I hate sitting for long, so I laid down in the back seat while we made each other laugh non stop for hours. I haven't laughed so hard for ages. We pulled into Ohio late at night and missed out on any fun as they don't serve alcohol there after midnight, hello, what the FUCK! Not that I am a raging drunk, but I wanted a glass of red wine. I would go mental there in Dayton Ohio. I haven't been there since 1988 for a Grateful Dead show which was in Buckeye Lake. So far, I am not impressed with the place ok? One of the crew guys has a pal who got mugged that day one block from our "4 star hotel".

The next day we went to the gig, it was in a baseball park, just like the last gig, in fact I think the whole tour is like that. I walked backstage and was looking for Phil to see when he wanted his rub down. I walked into the dressing room and Joe was on his lap top. I was like "Hi Joe, would you like a massage today?" he said he would love one but is too busy. He is a gorgeous man, I have to admit. Could be difficult to have rated G thoughts while massaging such a hunk. I heard he can play almost any instrument and loves to karaoke. See, I'm not the ONLY one into karaoke lol..

This time, Phil wanted to try my famous 'Bite Method' massage.

^ giving him a bit of a teaser for the bite method

Later on, after the show, I gave him the real Bite Method and although it sounds strange and dangerous, it feels amazing, so intense. I invented this when I was about 5 years old, as my Mom told me my hands weren't strong enough for her liking, so I bit her back all the time, then walked on her. I still use the bite method today, not on everyone, just special clients. Then I rubbed him down for a good half hour and asked him if he is ready for the 4 handed massage. This means, while I am on the back, another massage therapist will be busy massaging his lower body. Steven Tyler of Aerosmith and Sting and the singer of Simply Red and Ice Tea have all enjoyed my 4 handed massage. Phil was really in heaven. He said "this is the best massage I have ever had" which means a lot to me. Then he told Rick that he simply must try it too, and then Rick got the same treatment and he said "you guys have the strongest hands in the world" which is music to my ears.

Cassy has met the band many times, but this was the first time she has massaged them and I am sure it's not the last. They loved us!

^ Cassy and Rick and with Phil (schwing!)

Yeah, it's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it lol. I loved seeing the guys again and will probably go to more shows and massage them, it doesn't even feel like work to me, it's so fun.

< Phil gets my Pit Bull grip

Their set list:

1:40 AM - 6 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Ask Dr. Dot (Asian Pubes/ Mean Girlfriends)

Dear Dr. Dot,

I just recently started dating a male of the Asian Persuasion. Why didn't anyone ever warn me that their Pubes are Poker Straight??  What do I do....how can, I look at this with a Poker Straight Face??  Ugh, please give me some advice on dealing with this hairy situation??

Kinky Sue

Dear Kinky Sue,

Yes, I was shocked when I massage my first Asian client and saw them jump nude onto the massage table. I thought, hmmm, maybe she put that hair straightening crap in her pubes. But then I massaged another few and same deal. I am pretty sure they are the only race in which the hair on the head matches the hair on the naughty bits. You could make it fun and ask him to let you corn row them or maybe even perm them, but I doubt he will be amused. Leaving someone over pubic hair would be really shallow and you may burn in hell for that one. "Here lies Sue; she died in search of a kinky Afro".

Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

Backstage at Live 8 London (Heaven on earth)

I thank my luck stars I left London before the bombings!! I landed back in Berlin on Monday already.WHEW! The news said one of the bombs went off in a bus on Liverpool Street and I kid you not, there was a karaoke bar on Liverpool Street I had on my list of places I wanted to go. I am a bit worried about my friends in London, some of them haven't responded to my emails/text messages/calls, but it could just be a coincidence (I hope!).

The photo cropping and uploading of all of the pics below took me 4 hours so far, plus I have been busy helping Jasmine get ready for her trip to Israel (she left this morning and landed safely). I am 'not amused' that she is spending 5 weeks there, but I lost that argument and she is there. I can only find peace in my favorite saying, 'what will be will be'.

U2 played tonight in Berlin, but the security is too tight and all, I have heard from the runners (people who fetch things for the band and management) that it is a very uptight atmosphere and massage is VERY low on the priority list. I mean, if Bono wanted a massage, I would jump at the chance, but I am not going and hanging out just in case someone wants a rub down. I have tons of things to do before I leave back to the states on Saturday anyhow.

The night before LIVE 8, I was shown where Jimi Hendrix used to live (Brook Street) and had to take a pics of it:

...............

^ It is above some posh shop. There is a blue sign mounted on the wall, but my crappy camera doesn't pull through, as usual.

Below is a scan of the ticket I was given by Stings manager, little did I know, I was getting the purple arm band too, which meant I didn't need the ticket and so I could have brought Jasmine, but it was too late. This I will regret forever, as I know how much she would have loved seeing Floyd on stage together.

One of the first stars I ran into backstage on Saturday was Paris Hilton. She was with her guy (who is also named Paris), Brittany Murphy and Kimberly Stewart (Rod's daughter). Paris was super friendly and polite. She wanted a massage and so we used UB40's trailer, which was later the WHO's trailer. She is so pretty in person, sorry, no need to brown-nose here, I mean it. She is fucking gorgeous and wore hardly any make up. She let me take as many pics as I wanted to, so those who think she is a diva, are wrong. Sure, most folks are jealous of her wealth, and some of her fame, some of her beauty, but she has no attitude and radiates happiness. I gave her and her posse a few of my flyers and at one point her guy Paris asked why doesn't he get one and then Paris whipped my flyer at him, jokingly. I told him I thought one flyer for the both of them is enough, and it's best to always give it to the female of the couple as not to ruffle any feathers lol! Then he gave it back to Paris and asked for one of his own. I just thought it was cute how they were discussing my flyers for so long. Paris thought my flyers were "HOT".

^ The 'Golden Circle' ticket ^ Paris and Dot

^Paris's comment on my massage: "That's HOT!"

^ Rod's daughter: Kimberly Stewart (Hot Legs!) ^ Jimmy Fallon (SNL & Fever Pitch)

Kimberly is awesome, tall, hot, sweet, funny! Jimmy flew over with Loren Michaels, who has produced Saturday Night Live for 30 years. I approached Jimmy and said "you KNOW I am gonna talk to you" and he giggled. We had a nice chat and I gave him a sample massage, he said he would call when we are both back in the US, that would rock, as I have always wanted tix to see SNL!

< Mariah keeps her promise

< And poses with me finally :)

Back in March here in Berlin I massaged Mariah, but she wasn't in the mood to pose for a pic, but promised next time we meet up, she would. I have to give it to the lady, she keeps promises! She was radiant and smiling from ear to ear. She had a huge crew of bodyguards around her and wasn't seen walking around much. She went to her trailer and that was the last I saw of her(apart from her performances on the screen lol). I am furious my camera made a blurry shot of us. It's a Sony Cyber-U Shot camera, cost me over $400 and yet, look at the crappy pics it takes. Only good part is it is SO small you could even hide it inside of you if you had to. I have seen bigger tampons ok? My mini camera intimidates NO ONE, but it's on its way out, one more blurry star shot and it's EBAY time!

< Roger Daltry

^ Mr. Live Aide and Live 8, Sir Bob Geldoff

Roger Daltry was in a fantastic mood, looking very healthy and handsome. Next to Sting, he has the nicest back in rock and roll so far thanks to all the swimming he does. I have massaged him before, but only got an autograph, never a pic. I was hanging out with the Who's managers daughter, Becky for a lot of the day, she is only 13 but looks much older and is wicked fun to hang with. We had fun 'star spotting' together. It was ok to act a bit like a fan that day. It was funny watching huge stars act like fans around Paul McCartney and Madonna. Paul was walking around more than any other star, but always followed by two different camera crews, one in front of him, walking backwards, and one behind him, running to keep up. I assume he is making a documentary or saving the footage for a future DVD. His BEAUTIFUL wife Heather won me over. I used to be weary of any new female coming near Paul after Linda died, but hey, Paul deserves to have another fine woman on his side, to be happy again. Most Beatle fans were hissing at the fact he remarried, but when you meet Heather, you have to fall for her, she is breathtakingly gorgeous (perfect skin, shiny hair, big natural sexy lips, hardly any make up but yet picture perfect) and she is so friendly and kind. Heather had a movie camera in her hand the whole time as well. Some, who didn't recognize her talked down to her, until she said her name "Heather, Heather McCartney" then they started kissing her ass big time. I had to laugh. Lots of ass kissing going on at such events.

It was nice to see Bob again; I haven't seen him for almost 10 years. I have massaged him several times in Berlin; he often came through on press tours or with his band the Happy Clubsters. I have shown him all over Berlin, out to eat, clubs, bars, etc. I did something SO cheeky the first time I knocked on his hotel room door. I walked in and said "what a fabulous room! This place is bigger than our whole apartment. Are all these your guitars? What a fabulous tub, wanna take a bath"! In case you didn't know, that's what the groupie in the film the WALL said when she entered his hotel room. He said "ha ha, very funny, you are NOT the first one to do that".

^ Sir Paul McCartney and again with Sir Ian McKellen (the Wizard from Lord of the Rings)

^ Heather and Paul ^ Heather and Paul chatting with Loren Michaels and Jimmy Fallon

^ Sir Paul again.... The picture to the right is Faye (Bonnie and Clyde) Dunaway

Not sure if you know this (how could you?) but I was at the first LIVE AIDE as well, in Philly back in 1985. Jeeze, I feel like the Forrest Gump of Rock and Roll sometimes. I have to say, Philly did boast Jack Nicholson, Dylan and Led Zepp, some Stones and Clapton, but this LIVE 8, had ROGER WATERS and the rest of Pink Floyd AND Paul McCartney, Elton John, U2, Coldplay, etc. I had more fun at this one, as it wasn't 102 fucking degrees out like it was in Philly back in 1985 and the stars were easier to approach (read:stalk) lol. Faye Dunaway, WOAH, Hollywood royalty in the flesh. Does Bonnie and Clyde ring a bell? No one recognized her, or approached her. I spotted her rite away, I have that radar thing going on. She was super sweet and I promised I wouldn't post it if it wasn't a good shot and I think she looks great, don't you?

^ Jerry Hall and the picture to the right is Victoria (Posh Spice) Beckham

Jerry Hall, the Ex of Mick Jagger. She has her own show going on in the states now, something like how to be a stud rite? She is so cheery and cute. Nice Southern drawl. The woman's got a going on! Speaking of hot women, Victoria Beckham, wife of one of the hottest men on earth, David Beckham, was super easy going. She has such a strong accent; I think most Americans would have trouble understanding her. She is so petite; I could lift her with one hand if I had to, imagine that after having 3 kids. She is SMOKIN' HOT! She had on her own label jeans; the logo is a gold crown on each butt cheek, looked pretty cute on her.

.... src="http://files.blog-city.com/files/aa/31561/p/f/madonna_2nd_best_shot_by_dr_dot_lowres.jpg" align=baseline border=0> < Madonna (even HOTTER in person!)

My massage chair was set up merely meters away from Madonna's trailer. The trailers were set up in a giant E shape, and the empty part of the E is where they came out to chat, know what I mean? Anyhow, when Madonna came out, people, even stars, stalked her lol. She was chatting to one of England's top comedians (forgot his name) when I took these pics of her. Since she lives in London, there was NO way she would get a massage at the show. BUT I gave her assistant my flyer. In fact, I doubt there were any stars that didn't get my freakin flyers, oh yes, U2 and Elton. I arrived too late to see them as they went on first and well, I got up at 2pm, you know me!

^ Randy Jackson (American Idol Judge) ^ Super Hottie, Josh Harnett (SCHWING!)

My gal pal, Mechel told me "Dot, his name is RANDY NOT REUBEN YOU WANKER!" Well, at least I didn't call him anything, I just said hello and asked him if he needs a rub down and told him I can sing my ass off, but I was too old for American Idol (isn't the age limit 26??) That's not fair! I know a lot of mature folks that can sing their butts off, why are the media and show biz hooked just on youth? We will all (hopefully) get older, does that mean people are no longer cool? Do we have an expiration date? Are we disposable? Fuck that! Paul McCartney is older and can still sing like butter! LOVE PAUL! Oh, above, feast your eyes on that shot of Josh and I. FUCKING HOTTIE! Sorry, but it's true. Scarlet Johansen was with him, hiding under a cap and not very friendly/happy at all. When I approached him, she shot the evil eye at me. No need to be jealous of me, I was all oily from massage oil and wearing jeans and sneakers, no cleavage, no man hunting gear on me at all. I bet it was my perfume, you know I wear that man eating 'Hypnotic Poison', it causes trouble everywhere I go. See that half smile on his face? He wasn't ALLOWED to give a real smile, as Scarlet was getting bitchier by the minute. Not sure if the bitchy mood was my fault, I had the feeling I walked into a bitch fest when I said hi. I mean, loosen up, it was the event of the year, maybe decade. Everyone else was smiling though.

^David Gilmour (of Pink Floyd)

^ Roger Waters (IS Pink Floyd)

Wishful thinking me putting them next to one another, let us pray they reunite for a whole tour! YES! AAHHH! David Gilmour; I didn't know he had 8 kids until Live 8. He didn't tell me, but a manager of a certain huge band told me. I kinda guessed as there were a LOT of kids (some older) around him and they all look exactly like him. David was polite, but not a overly silly guy, I told him I have seen a few of his solo shows, hoping he would mention any upcoming tours, but he didn't. I met Richard Wright and Nick Mason as well, but didn't ask for a picture. I did get Nick's autograph, David's and Roger's too, all of which you can see if you want in my autograph section on www.puredrdot.com click on STARS then AUTOGRAPHS. I don't want to post them in the blog, takes up too much space.

I massaged for free by the way, it was my contribution to the Live 8 charity event. Robbie Williams even stopped by at my massage chair, and was ready to sit down, then the cameras were all on him and he said, "maybe later doll." He is HUGE in the UK, but not in America. Think it's due to the fact he released a CD in which he does all Frank Sinatra tunes, which did NOT go over well. A Brit doing our Frank? That would be like a yank (American) going to the UK and doing an all Tom Jones cover cd. Wouldn't fucking fly! I was waiting the WHOLE day and evening for Roger to come. As soon as he did, I spotted him. I thought many would rush up to talk to him, but they didn't. One other guy and I were the only ones. He was with a small boy and tall blonde lady. I asked him if he remembered me calling him about massages last summer, and he did. I told him, 'any time, 24/7 I can come to you and massage you and your family/friends'. I gave him another business card (I wouldn't DARE give Roger a flyer, they are kinda silly with loads of star pics on them, most stars love them, but I know Roger would hate it). He tucked my card into his jacket pocket and said goodbye. (I chatted again with him after the show and told him how FUCKING GREAT HE WAS! But he isn't into compliments, I don't care, had to tell him :)

I watched most of the show backstage, the Hard Rock cafe had a huge screen for all to see. The only acts I saw live was the Who, I got to be ON the stage for them and funny enough, Sting was up there too and he and I chatted a bit and he started rubbing my shoulders and neck while we watched the Who. He can give such a great massage, it's amazing. Everyone was looking like, 'what the hell?' But we joke around a lot. He is so cool. Standing next to us was Heather McCartney, then Bob Geldoff and next to him, Stella McCartney. I guess they (Stella and Heather) get along now. It may sound amazing being on stage to see the Who, but the view wasn't that great, there are amps in the way etc. When Pink Floyd came on, I RAN out front to the Golden Circle area, which was in front of the stage (only thing in between the golden circle and stage is the pesky press pit).I looked around and saw many people, mostly older people, crying of joy. Tears were flowing! I called Jasmine and even though it was so loud that I couldn't hear if she was there or not, I held my cell phone up for the WHOLE Pink Floyd set for her to hear. I texted her after and asked if she heard it and she said "YES! Thank you, it means so much to me".

Funny thing about Live 8, even the people backstage that weren't stars, were still small stars. It was NOT easy for anyone to get backstage. There were no British Royalty there, but there were many Sir's there. Sir Paul McCartney, Sir Sting, Sir Elton John, Sir Bob Geldoff, Sir Ian McKellen, the Rock and Roll Royalty were there in full force.

My hotel, The Royal Garden Hotel was RITE on Hyde Park. I walked home from the show, as there was NO way to drive through the masses of people.

^ In Hyde Park the day after Live 8 show. ^ The Hotel at edge of Hyde park

I had a great time in London this time, it was amazing! I think the artist that participated in all of the LIVE 8 shows are great for playing for free to raise awareness of poverty in Africa. Not fair how some have too much and some have waaay too little. PR for a great cause, lets hope it changes things. Sending food/money will help temporarily, but what really needs to change is the corrupt governments!

5:10 PM - 35 Comments - 47 Kudos - Add Comment

Ask Dr. Dot (excuses NOT to have sex/Turning lesbian?)

Dear Dr. Dot,

I love my husband, but don't feel up to doing the dirty deed with him as much as he wants to. The 'Headache' excuse is running thin now; do you have any polite excuses that work? Again, I love him, but I could live without the sex part of our relationship. Please help ASAP!

Nancy

Dear Nancy,

The ol' Headache excuse doesn't make sense anyways, as sex is a good cure for that (it's true!). If you are not up to being upfront and honest, you could always say you have a yeast infection or your period, but that wouldn't prevent you from giving him oral sex, anal sex or a happy ending massage. You may want to at least make him feel good, as men tend to look elsewhere for physical fun if the woman they love continuously rejects them. If you really love your husband, show him, life is short.

Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

My girlfriend and I have had a couple threesomes, always me, her and another female. My girlfriend liked it so much; she keeps requesting to do it again and again. I am afraid I opened a lesbian door or something; do you think she will turn gay and leave me? How can I get her all to myself again?

Randy

Randy,

Most of the times, not all though, threesomes lead to big drama. It sounds like a hot idea, but after the climaxes are over and reality sets in, everyone is faced with 'uh, where do we go from here' kind of feeling. I am a firm believer in that you can't change a person and what will be, will be, maybe you should think likewise as the more you stress about it, the faster you will drive her away. Just let it run it's course and try not to show it makes you feel insecure, just make sure you give her a spontaneous super romp when she least expects it, reminding her you are exciting and can still please her, one on one.

Dr. Dot

7:40 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Ask Dr. Dot (opposite sex friendships/Johnny Apple seed)

Dear Dr. Dot,
I have been single for about a year now but most of my friends are male. I
finally got a date and told one of my best guy pals, and he flipped out on me
telling me he is annoyed and basically treated me terribly, ending the
conversation with a sarcastic "HAVE A NICE DINNER!!!!” What does this mean??
Is he secretly in love with me?? And if so, why do male friends wait till we get
a simple date before they decide to react? ...By that time it’s too late.
Confused Connie

Confused Connie

Dear Connie,

I know many men who are secretly lusting after/in love with their best gal pal. It is kinda hard for men and women to be just friends without any sexual tension or jealousy when a member of the opposite sex comes into the picture. If the guy friend shows jealousy or discomfort at all, it shows he was indeed waiting around for your friendship to turn into something more, be it just sex or love. So the good news is, you had a secret admirer all along, bad news is, he didn't have the balls to act on it. Guy pals are often writing me and asking me how to take it further and I just tell them to go for it, what will be, will be. If they don't act at all and lash out on you when you get a date, it shows his lack of confidence and it shows his nasty side, both of which are a turn off. The dating game is also a survival of the fittest situation, and if you snooze, you loose. It is all up to your moody guy pal to apologize and up to you if you want to continue the charade. You can't help it if you are irresistible.

Dr. Dot

Dear Dr. Dot,

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and finally agreed to tie the knot in Spain. All of his family and mine met there for the expensive, exclusive event. The night before the wedding, I found myself alone with his Blackberry in our hotel room. I couldn't help but see the names 'Hannah' , 'Anna' and 3 other girl names on the main screen, as in, he had written to them that day, fresh mail. I read them all and broke down in tears to read the naughty things he wrote to each one, like "I hope you miss my love tool" etc, things that pointed to him having affairs with all of these women. He is very good looking and wealthy (and only 38), but then again so am I. I confronted him, he denied it in vain and finally admitted to the affairs. I made him write to each one telling them it is over and he is now a married, loyal man. We went through with the wedding, as I felt pressure, everyone was there and I believed his tears of regret, but I can barely eat since then and feel betrayed and livid, but still love him. I will be grateful for any words of wisdom.

Sad Lisa

Dear Lisa,

Most women would have stood at the altar and said "No, I do NOT take this man, as he is a cheating asshole", but you took the other route. There are 3 ways to deal with this situation in my opinion. First, become apathetic about his affairs, turn the blind eye to his physical escapes with other women, after all, he chose you to marry, so he must love you. He has sex with other women; this doesn't mean he loves them. You have to be pretty strong to use this method, the "I don't care what or who you do when we are not together, just make sure you treat me rite!” But you really have to stick to the "don't ask, don't tell" attitude, which is hard if you really love someone. Second, forgive him and start over, but you may turn into a mistrusting, paranoid, insecure nag: "what took you so long to get home, who were you with?" this is exhausting and will age you fast. Third, just turn around and walk away. Keep your self-respect and esteem while they are still in tact. If it was just one woman, it would be a tad easier, but your guy seems to be a Johnny Apple seed type, hard to tame such a man. Sometimes forgiving a cheater gives you the upper hand. Look at Kobe Bryant’s wife. It may boil down to finding out what is more important to you, having the upper hand, or a man you can really trust.

Dr. Dot

7:45 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Ask Dr. Dot (pleasure thy self/goldie cocks)

Dear Dr. Dot,

Hard to believe, but I am almost 30 and have never had an orgasm. The men I have sex with try as hard as they can to get me to cum, but it never happens. I end up getting pissed off at them and I throw them off of me in a huff. I have tired masturbating, and I can't seem to trip my trigger, is it possible some people just can't cum? Is it too late to learn? I am a very sexual woman, but I don't climax, I feel left out, ripped off.

Frustrated Fran

Dear FF,

I think you're better off learning how to make yourself cum before you put the guy through the maze. Make a hot date with yourself, sip some wine, have a hot bath, shave yourself nice and tidy, and pop your favorite porn into the player. Spread a blanket out on the floor and put two or three pillows vertically on top of each other, forming what will be your "man". The floor is best for getting up into the hard to reach spot, also known as your clit. Cover pillows with a towel, as they will get wet. Have some lube and the remote control within reach. Lube up your favorite hand and lie on top of your hand and the pillows. No need to go inside, as the clit is what needs to be stimulated; this can be done easily by having your four fingers together  (loads of lube) and rocking back and forth on top of your fingers (riding on hand which is between you and pillows). The pillows need to be vertical, as your legs should drape down on each side of pillows making more pressure on your hand/clit. Let go of all pointless thoughts, just get selfish and make sure you cum. Once you learn to do that, you will know what pressure and frame of mind it takes to trip your trigger. Some girls can make themselves cum on a guy much easier than having the guy make her cum. If you are a slight control freak, you may have to make yourself cum on the guy (you on top for example). As disturbing as it sounds, the clit is just like a tiny penis, in fact, some say it is. Treat it accordingly. Inner stimulation is fun, but the clit needs action to climax. Also, you could have an affair with your showerhead if it has enough pressure; bad thing is, if it's too good, you may never leave the bathroom again. Keep me posted so we can celebrate your first orgasm.

Dr. Dot

Dear DD,

I have had a streak of bad luck lately. The men I get in bed are usually packing a tiny penis or can't get it/keep it hard. I am tired of this rumor "size doesn’t' t matter"!! It does to me! How can I tell if a guy is gonna be good in bed or not, I am getting really impatient. Oh, I have never had a kid, so I am narrow down there if you get my drift; the men are simply "teeny weenies" around here.

Sally

Dear Sally,

A man with a tiny dick made up that "size doesn't matter" rumor by the way. You sound like Goldie Cocks to me, too small, too soft.. You need to find the one that's 'just right' for you. A sneaky but sure way to find out what he's packing is make out with him and have an old fashioned grope session, like teenagers do. Feel all around his willy through his pants. Even under the pants would work, but you would have more trouble when you don't like what you find getting out the situation. If you meet his willy and don't think it is up to your size/texture standards, slowly go back to just kissing and say, I am sorry, this is all too fast for me, I need more time. Unless of course you have the balls to say "well, this isn't what I was expecting, sorry!". Good luck with that!

Dr. Dot

7:39 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Ask Dr. Dot (tiny willy woes/ to boob or not to boob?)

It now only takes 48 hours for my happy mood to wear off after landing in Berlin. It has been freezing here and the sky has been grey the whole time except for yesterday evening, the sun came through for a couple hours. Jasmine is so busy now in her life, I hardly get to see her. On one hand I am happy that she is so independent, but sad that I have to stand in line to get some time with her. She is busy going to many protests, she is very left wing and is involved in some political groups who attend many protests. She also takes guitar lessons and school keeps her super busy and the amount of friends she has just boggles the mind.

Most of my friends are so busy too, it's hard to just come back and get into the grove rite away. I also noticed something. I have some girl friends that call me often and email me almost daily from Berlin when I am home in NY, yet when I am actually here in Berlin, I hardly hear from them let alone see them. I also have a pal in NY who I hardly see or speak to, but when I get to Berlin, he calls me more than anyone else from the US. I wonder if some people are afraid of intimacy or what is that about? Is it safer to conduct a friendship 3,000 miles away?

A VERY good friend of mine, who was a tad more than a friend at one point, is in a coma since March 15th. I was devastated when I heard the news and couldn't believe it as he was so strong and healthy. 6'5", body builder (which is usually not my type) non-smoker, hardly drank etc. He got a lung infection and was put into an artificial coma by the Doctors to stabilize his breathing and heart beat. But when they tried to bring him out of that coma, it didn't work, so now he is in a vegetative state coma. I went to visit him on Saturday and it was a sad sight. He is withering away, very thin and he was all sweaty. His sister said he always has a fever. I massaged his hands and shoulders and talked to him, but he was asleep the whole time. She said when he is away, his eyes are wide open, but when I was there, they were closed the whole time. He did flinch when I tried to unclench his fingers. It can't be good for them to be so clenched up so stiff the whole time. I didn't force them open, I was just trying to stretch them for him and get the blood going. He is only 27 the poor guy. So now you know why I haven't blogged much lately, I am over here in Berlin and sad. Seeing Jasmine is so great, but when she is busy, I feel like I am in no mans land, in between lives. A lot of people I know here are ill and/or really broke. Seeing Mike in a coma made me realize how short life really can be and to count my blessings again. Berlin needs a miracle. I did get my column done, so here it is:

Hi Dr. Dot,

 I have a few issues that i need help with. Firstly i am very 
concerned about the size of my penis as it is only 3ins whilst erect. This has 
made me very shy as the last two girlfriends made fun of my size and said that i 
was unable to pleasure them. My second problem is that i am 22 and living with 
my nan who is very religious and doesn't believe in sex before marriage so that 
stops me from bringing girls to the house so what am i to do? My final problem 
is that i have frequent problems with cannabis and even when i try as hard as i 
can i can't seem to get off it, it has even lead me to stealing off my nan to 
pay for my addiction. please can you tell me what to do!

Matthew 

Hi Matthew,

You can't change the penis situation but you can improve your sex routine by giving girls the best oral sex of their lives. You know, having a huge cock isn't everything in life. In fact, in my experience, the bigger the dick, the bigger the DICK it's attached to. Most really sweet guys have tiny dicks, they have to try harder and women know this. You will eventually attract the rite woman, one who values being treated good in other ways then just being stuffed good. You can give oral and use dill dos too while you're at it. Women pine after a lover who insists she cums first before he does. All those things will be on your side.. except, the next part, living with your nan.

If you don't like it, work harder and get your own flat, sneaking girls in and out will just make you look silly. The pot addiction can hurt your sex drive and make you apathetic, I would stop that habit until you have your own place, as pot can make everything seem ok, when it's not, like stealing from your nan, you will go to hell for that, not even Dr. Dot can help you on that one. I think there is some sort of viscous cycle going on here, you smoke because your living and sex situation is bothering you, which makes you steal and feel bad about yourself and to numb it, you smoke again. Did you know pot makes your dick limp and weak? It is true. Just like any muscle, the more you use it, the stronger and bigger it gets. Forget pot, get busy wanking and saving for your own flat.

Dr. Dot

Hi Dr. Dot,
I could use some of your expert love advice. This Asian girl I'm going out with, before I saw her naked, I always thought she had decent boobs. Well, it turns out she wears a padded bra so they look fine, but she's actually pretty small. I don't really care too much about boob size, I'm totally happy with a B-cup... One of her boobs a B cup, but then her other boob is way smaller. It's weird, and she told me she's really insecure about it and she wants to get a boob job. Normally i'm always against boob jobs but when she told me she's going to get a boob job, I could tell she wanted me to discourage her from getting it and tell her "no don't be crazy, you're fine." But honestly, I think she would be a lot better off with a boob job, even though I think sticking a saline bag in your chest is gross. I think she's one of the rare exceptions because she's not only very small, but uneven too. She's really insecure about it and a boob job would not only actually make it look better, but probably help the way she feels about herself. So I kind of danced around the subject, didn't really encourage or discourage it, but I should probably take a firm side. And it's not like she's rich either, she's kind of poor so $6000 is A LOT. What do you think I should do?
Loving Louie

Dear Louie,

Look her in the eyes and say "I like you either way, so what ever makes you happy".
That's the ONLY way to get out of this safely. I presume you aren't paying for them (maybe she thinks you will and that's why she mentioned it) so just put it all in her corner, otherwise she may loathe you for encouraging her to change her body, and if she does get the money from you, there is a good chance she will want to try out her new toys with other guys which could give you a heart attack and empty bank account.

Dr. Dot

7:55 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment