The Dreamscape
Current mood: confused
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

Grammer is prolly gonna be off, puncuation and spelling to so,,,deal :)

Dreams are a funny/odd function of the human sleep cycle.  They can bring joy, and pain,,,confusion at times upon waking as sometimes the images are still there, and more questions than answers,,,,here is one such that I had last night:

I remember laying down at about 2am as has been custom for the last 6 months or so looking at the clock wondering if this time I'll wake up before the alarms go off,,no such luck when the next thing I notice is that I'm standing on a platform of rusted or painted brown steel, in front of me is a steel barrel the same color as the surrounding platform.  This platform is raised above the ground several thousand feet as I feel wind and there are railings to the right of me.  I'm with a very large group of men, it felt like we were a work crew, and we were waiting.  I look around and everyone is focused on a man in the center ready to speak,,,he's dressed in a grey/blue suit leaning on a cane like the planters peanut man does,,and hes the president,,not of the company but of the country,,not the one we've all come to know and expect much of nothing from,,,but i was given the impression that he was the leader of the 'free' world. 

He looks around at the assemblage of men and tells us all, 'Forget everything you've seen here today, talk to no one,,it never happened'.  He looked at each in turn as a dismissal and we each turned to go our own ways,,,some choosing to walk the length of the platform and taking the only corner,,to the left, others myself included having to 'releave' ourselves in the very convient restroom that appeared as things happen to do in dreams.  I walk in and there are straight men standing on the rafters in the bathroom,,,,I look up and shake my head walking out without doing my business just to turn around and say 'you know,,we can climb too!'.  So with that said I knew that the others that walked into the bathroom when I did were gay.  At that point the focus shifted to the left part of the platform which had until this time been hidden from view.  It gave me the impression of a boardwalk as there were theme park rides and all the trappings one would find on a boardwalk. 

 Looking up in the sky I saw two hot air balloons,,one was an actual hot air balloon, the other was a gondola with extremely large helium balloons attached,,,the real hot air balloon was sailing along without a problem,,not so for the helium phony,,,,it was like the wind had gotten hold of the gondola and was batting it around like a cat would a fuzzy ball.  I watched as the helium balloon started spinning and the people in the gondola panicing as the balloon started to turn upside down,,,after the gondola righted itself the helium balloons started to deflat,,,the people on the platform with me could only watch as the balloon started to fall,,,,suddenly as the helium was depleted a group of very large blue air filled balloons appeared to catch the gondola,,,as all of this was happening the gondola had drifted above a tree. 

 Once the helium was gone the gondola with all of its passengers crashed into the top of the tree spintering into thousands of pieces falling to the ground.  Now,,,,the tree was located on a 'farm', there was a house to the right of my vision then the tree in the middle with a road leading to a barn on the far left,,,where at the barn there were a group of guys playing basketball not even noticing the damage.  I looked around at the scene and at the people on the platform,,,no one was paying any attention to what had happened, either on the platform or the basketball players,,,I looked around and to my left was a triangular support structure like you'd find attached to and VHF/UHF antenna, I jumped and slid down and ran over to the people from the gondola who had suddenly vanished leaving broken bloody pieces of the gondola laying all over the place.  I asked the policewoman who happened to be on the scene what happened and she said to me 'you saw what happened, you tell me' at that point the scene switched to an office with the same cop, i was confused as to where I was and how I had gotten there, I was about to ask when the policewoman looked at me and said 'well at least you were there' at which point a little woman was standing below me as she was only about 4 feet tall if that with dark almost black hair came up to me wrapped her arms around me and I wrapped mine around her head as she was only 4 feet tall and it was a dream and we started to cry. 

Alarms went off and awake I became wondering why in the world I had that kind of dream.  Ok,,,anyone wanna field this one? 

11:15 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Helping Hand Revisited
Current mood: drained

Well.....the packing is all finished,,,,,both of them.  Last Saturday had me waking up at about 9am getting some cerial (Honeynut Cherrios), taking a shower then heading up to Florience to pick up Jimmy and Gerome.  Mary, Jimmys mom was moving to AZ and needed help with the packing.  So I pick the boys up and down I-75 we truck.  My best friend proceeds to tell me and I quote " I'd forgotten how much ur driving makes me nervous" and he says the 'nervous' part with a little giggle.  I mean there was a cars length of space between me and the other guy,,,,,,,,,ok,,,,,UGO carslength,,,but still.  hehe  Any way we make it to Lexington and by this time he's already had a little tiff with his mom on the phone,,,so,,,u already know how thats gonna go down.  We have to pick up the cable box and take it to Insight b4 they close at 5PM,,,course we dont get to Marys place until 4:30 get the box and truck it to Insight.  By this time we're all grumpy because lets face it,,,it'd been hours for me since breakfast and the boys hadn't had a bite to eat. 

Gerome and I are sitting in the truck waiting for Jimmy to come out of Insight so we can fill the grumblytumblies when my phone chirps (incoming text message) and it reads {REMOTE}  I roll my eyes skyward and groan,,,,we had forgotten the remote control for the box,,,no way in hell were we runnin back to get it without gettin food,,period. 

We get back to Mary's place and eat,,thats about 5:30 and didnt start packing the U-Haul trailer until 6.  That was an adventure in itself.  I've yet to hear how everything fared on the road trip to AZ,,i guess it all arrived in all the correct pieces. :)

Afterwards (11:30) we were tired and icky,,i had to shower,,i was a mess.  We all went to Applebees, who knew they had afterhours! Five makers and coke (one on the house thank you very much) and a pile of pasta and i'm right as rain. 

Jimmy and Gerome spend the night while Mary is upstairs with Chris all getting rest for the trip West.  We said our goodbys the next morngin and they took off.  They made it to AZ on Tuesday.  I hope Mary will be happy,,,she deserves that.

Today,,,,,I finished with the bookshelf in moms room.  All her clothes are bagged for protection and hanging in the closet.  Her clothes from her dresser are there as well.  I think I'll leave the boxes where they are until tomorrow...dont really feel like lifting them tonight as they are heavy on many levels.  Ok,,i dont recommend showering and listening to Enya while feelin like major crappola,,just dont do it. 

I miss my sisters,,,they miss me.  I've been sequestered, licking my wounds as it were, but like I told Carol in an email,,,the universe has a way of pushing me where and when i dont think i'm ready to go,,,,and tonight was no exception,,,looks like I have plans for Friday. :)

One last thing,,,that decision that was made for me,,,,well heres my response to that :

{Fred,

I want no response to this,,,just remove me so i know u actually read this. After five months communication you'd think i'd earned some consideration, if not a bit of respect. I was gonna rip you a new one but its apparent that you don't think i'm worth any effort to respond to so,,,,just remove me from you're friends list, 'cuz in my book friends don't ignore each other. I do want to thank you for proving my first instinct was correct.

Darren }

He and I had been talking since February virtually everyday when both of us were going to and coming from work.  Well u'd think the admission of 'I like u and like being around u' would garnered an actual response,,,nope,,nothing but crickets in the background. Another one bites the dust...best place for him. 

Chatchya later.

11:07 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Helping Out

I have a friend that is leaving soon. 

My bestfriend ( I have 3) Jimmy's mom is moving to AZ at the end of this month, Sunday.  Its been in the planning stages for a while now.  He's kinda on the fence about the whole thing.  On one hand, he's accepting of her decision, helping to plan and get things done.  On the other, he's afraid for her.  Even though she's lived in different areas of the country, her kids were at some point there with her.  Now, they, all her other kids, will be without her around and some are having difficulties.

I'm again doing laundry, never ending cycle it seems, to get ready for tomorrows adventures.  Jimmy and Gerome came down yesterday to do some packing while Mary, Jimmys mom was at work, well,,,nothin got packed except for the couch and microwave.  I let Jim borrow my truck to transport the couch to Florence and I got his car.  *Sigh* He might not get it back! Lol.  After we did the couch thing the three of us went to 1 Chinese Buffet!  OMG,,,waddling beached whale I became, have to remind myself to only drink one glass of tea per plate.  Just attach ropes to my arms and legs and I coulda been the newest addition to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade of giant floating balloons.  STUFFED!!!

Still in the precess of boxing up moms stuff.  Two boxes and I've not even scratched the surface.   But thats gonna have to go on the back burner for the next few days as I have to get the rest of the place ready for Jimmy and Gerome as they are staying here Saturday. 

Well,,I think this is the end of this blog but it's definetly not the end of the blogging! :)

One final entry, I have a decision to make,,,well not really make,,it was made for me I'm just waiting the appropriate amount of time (two more days)before I grow'm brass and give it both barrels.  I'll keep ya informed.  Laters

10:41 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Reorganizing
Current mood: numb

First blog,,,,wow. 

Ok,,it only took me 20 minutes after the first three words to actually begin the blog.  Maybe this can be a sort of therapy as I have an major distrust of the medical profession, mental and physical.  I've been planning to get my 'house' in order for a while now, but being in and out of depression after my mom died leaves me with a 'fuck it' attitude once I unlock my front door.  The place is a wreck,,,I do get a wild hair at times,,,and make it to the kitchen to do the dishes and such,,,but it usually peters out after that. 

I stopped at Staples yesterday after my hour and 30 minute drive from work,,,on normal days its 20 to 25 min to get back to lexington,,construction,,gotta love it-to get storage boxes,,you know the ones,,file boxes with the lids?,, who knew cardboard was a major commodity. 

I'll be packing up moms stuff that is still in her room.  After she moved in with me, almost 6 years ago,,,she accumilated a lot of stuff,,,mostly books,,,Martha Stewart for cryin out loud,,lol.  Pictures from hell,,,some I KNOW date back to when she was in her 20's.  I'll keep everything with me so when the time comes, my sisters and I can all sit down and decide when what goes where and to who.  Her clothes will be given to Goodwill, she'd like that.  She was always about doin more for others then herself. 

I finally talked to all of my sisters after about 2 or 3 months,,,shared pain isn't something I have the willingness to handle at the moment.  The conversations were good,,,,my older sister says I've been hermiting,,shes right after a fashion, but we all cope differently. 

So today is gonna be a bit harder than normal.  Doin laundry at the same time and trying not to wake up my neighbor with my music, (currently into Michael Buble, hightly recommend by-the-way).  Thats where it stands currently.  I'll blog every now and again,,but believe me,,it ain't gonna be everyday. 

Laters

9:50 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment