Requiem for a Dream
Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

Currently watching : The NeverEnding Story Release date: 04 September, 2001

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my haiku of the day...
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Writing and Poetry

A ran into an old lover on the train and wrote this afterwards...

The perfect penis

Seems always to be attached

To another's man

Currently listening : O.P.P. By Naughty by Nature Release date: 24 September, 1991

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A few words for the new year
Category: Life

Currently listening : Innervisions By Stevie Wonder Release date: 21 March, 2000

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Oh man the things technology can do...
Current mood: chipper
Category: Friends

Oh man on man alive...So I recently purchased a really nice digital camera with video capibility.  Now I am just getting the hang of it and I have been taking pictures and video of the various adventures of me and my friends. And lucky for me (NOT) my loving friends have the same abilities.

Here's the results of me, my brother and my girls multiplied by and open bar and good food.

Here's my brother James and his pimp Po-Hong collecting tips for the bartender.

..and here's me after a couple Manhattans on the dance floor..I figured I should put it up before my friends do.

Happy holidays!

..

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My 32nd Birthday!
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Parties and Nightlife

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone that made my birthday special as ever!

I love you all for your time, friendship, patience, well wishes and laughter.

360 days 'til the next one!!

Smooches,

e!

P.S. Special thanks to Jo for putting this video together.

Currently listening : Wikked Lil' Grrrls By Esthero Release date: 28 June, 2005

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French Kissing the Gift Horse!
Current mood: chipper
Category: Life

Recently, there are two things I say every week without fail; 1) I don't wanna be a grown up any more and 2) I love my life.

Today we're going to deal with numero dos.

Lately my 6th sense has been kicking in really hard and I have been very open to listening. For the last couple of months I have been searching for a PDA phone.  Looking for the best plan, price and features that suit me. Amazon...Ebay...Cingular...Craig's List...Verizon...National Notary Association...Wire-somthin'...You name it I've looked, several times. At some point I laid it to rest and figured it'll happen in time.

Well today, out of the blue in the middle of working against a deadline a voice in my head says check Craig's List. Lo and behold...Palm Treo 650 used $175.  *blink, blink*  Yeah right, what's the catch?

So I send an email....No catches, no contracts, phone used and working perfectly fine. I go to check it out, sure enough a tatoo parlor owner just upgraded his phone and didn't need the old one.

$175 and 15 minutes later I am the owner of a treo 650 all sync'd charged and ready to go with all the factory issued accessories.  and and and!!! I went to the Sprint Store to get it activated and it took all of 25-30 minutes and I was the only customer in the store and they were extra helpful and I didn't have to employ the "girls" this time.

Its the little things that make me realize I am truely blessed and I love my life.

Currently listening : Infinite Possibilities By Amel Larrieux Release date: 15 February, 2000

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Being a Scorpio
Current mood: horny

Ok since we are officially in my sign, Scorpio, I have decided to be...well, true to myself.

Here's  a little something for you to *clearing throat* chew on.

The Mysteries of Sex by Nicole Beland

According to people who know about these things, the average woman has sex anywhere from a few times per week to a few times per month. We did the math and figured out that, per year, that adds up to ...

Uh, actually we had a little trouble with the math.

But we do know this: Women have sex a lot — but still understand relatively little about what's really happening between the sheets. No, we don't mean where the body parts go. We mean more vexing matters. Like why do some things turn us on and some things turn us off? Why do our bodies work the way they do? And, of course, why do men have nipples?

Fortunately, there are people who know about these things — and we talked to a batch of them. Don't consider your sexual education complete until you know...

Why We Sometimes Cry (or Laugh) After Sex
Perhaps it's your partner's insistence on humming Celine Dion songs during intercourse, but more likely it's a physiological reaction. "An orgasm instigates the release of powerful hormones, such as dopamine, epinephrine, and oxytocin, all of which rile the emotions," says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong. The good news: You should consider giggles (or tears) a reassuring sign about the status of your relationship. If getting physical with someone can move you that much, it's probably because you have a profound, intimate relationship.

Why Boots Make Us Feel Like Bad Girls
There is an indescribable transformation that takes place when a woman steps into a pair of knee-high boots, whether they have chunky soles or spiked 3-inch heels. Images of Wonder Woman, go-go dancers, and rock stars flash across our subconscious, not to mention soldiers, revolutionaries, royalty, and pirates. In short, we feel and look like a badass. "There's an enormous amount of symbolism in the tall boot that we register immediately," says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., a sex therapist based in Athens, Georgia. "Because of their historical associations, boots give us a feeling of added protection while at the same time increasing our sense of power — and that translates into a very sexy feeling that's almost predatory." Grrrowl!

Why We're Not the Only Ones in the Relationship with Nipples
In the very first stages of life, every fetus starts out as a female. "Males only become males with the addition of greater amounts of testosterone, which suppresses the development of female sex organs," says Sandor Gardos, licensed sex therapist and founder of mypleasure.com. Hard evidence for that fact can be found about a quarter of the way down Johnny Depp's chest in the form of two round, pinkish milk ducts. Nearly all mammalian embryos are decked out with mammary tissue from the get-go in preparation for future motherhood. So behind Johnny's nipples lie the dusty, unused pipes and machinery that would have been used to breastfeed little Johnny Jr.

Why the Clitoris is Like an Iceberg
Simple, really: You see only the tip. Attached to that euphoric pink knob (which, by the way, packs 8,000 nerve endings — twice as many as the penis) is a shaft three times its size. During arousal, this shaft fills with blood and pushes the knob out from under its hood. And that's not all. Attached to the base of the shaft are two arms that descend in a wishbone shape down the sides of the labia and back toward the thigh muscles. There are also two "bulbs" of erectile tissue located on either side of the vaginal opening. The going theory is that they help transmit sensation from the vagina to the clitoris. During the last stages of arousal, the domino effect sets in and electrifies just about every nerve ending below your belly button.

Why Their Balls Get Blue
You've no doubt heard a guy complain of having "blue balls" after a night of frantic groping that didn't go all the way. He wasn't kidding. "It's possible for the scrotum to appear slightly blueish if a man has been aroused for a very long period of time," Gardos says. During arousal, blood fills the entire genital area and stays there for as long as a person remains turned on. The longer it's there, the less oxygen it has, and blood with less oxygen is more blue than red. The result: azure-tinted testicles.

Why He Wakes Up with a Woody
There it is again, all up-and-at-'em at 7 A.M. It's a wonder you bother using an alarm clock. "Men tend to awake with an erection in the morning because that's when their testosterone levels peak," Gardos says. Physically, his upstanding member is just as sensitive as ever, but because he isn't psychologically turned on, he may not feel any urge to put it to use. And if you do get it on in the early hours, expect a quickie — all that testosterone usually leads to a quick resolution.

Why We Should Dial "O" on the Pink Telephone
Beating the bishop, waxing the dolphin, spanking the monkey — there's no end to the euphemisms for male masturbation. So why not for women? "Society is more permissive with males, both in what they can do sexually and how they can talk about their sexual behaviors," says Yvonne Fulbright, author of The Hot Guide to Safer Sex. Indeed, most boys start stimulating themselves silly by age 13. Girls are slower to start exploring and hardly ever talk about it openly until they're well into their 20s, if ever. But there's hope, as women start to loosen up and make light of what happens when they're alone and horny. "Every year more and more women are browsing for vibrators as comfortably as they would beauty products," says Claire Cavanah of the sex boutique Toys in Babeland. Some slang terms she's hearing for female masturbation: polish your pearl, pet your bunny, water your flower, paddle the pink canoe, tiptoe through the two lips, and dial "O" on the pink telephone. 

Why Sex Leaves Us Soaring, Not Snoring
Women complain about guys passing out the second sex is over. But don't whine — gloat. For him, the rush ends abruptly. For you, sex isn't over even when it's over. "It can take us anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes to come down from an orgasm," says Fulbright, "with bodily changes including reduced breast swelling, the clitoris returning to its normal position, a shrinking uterus and 'deflating' of the vagina, and a return to our resting pulse rate, blood pressure, and breathing." Talk about a full-body workout.

Why Our Peak is Harder to Reach Than Theirs
The Seinfeld episode in which Elaine coins the term "sponge-worthy" isn't far off: Every guy might not be orgasm-worthy. "There's a very interesting new idea about female orgasm called the 'upsuck theory,'" says Deborah Blum, author of Sex on the Brain. The gist is that when a woman climaxes, the muscles of her vagina pull upward, helping semen to reach her uterus and increasing the odds of pregnancy. Some evolutionary biologists suggest that the female orgasm acts as a quality-control mechanism, preventing women from having children with men they don't feel strongly about. If sex with a certain guy hardly ever ends in fireworks, perhaps it's nature's way of saying he's not what you want in a husband and father. If you go off like a cannon every other night, you just might be dating Mr. Right.

Why You Can Finally Stop Looking for Your G-Spot
It's named after Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg who, in 1950, reported that some of his female patients experienced intense pleasure when an area on the front wall of their vagina was stimulated. Since then, large numbers of women have reported having "G-spot orgasms." The only problem is that scientists can't quite figure out what's causing them. "One camp of experts believe that the G-spot is the place where the roots of the clitoris crisscross the urethral sponge," Fulbright says. "Others believe that, similar to the male prostate gland, it's its own entity." And then there are those like Terrence Hines, Ph.D., who, in an article published in The American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology in 2001, described it as "a sort of gynecologic UFO: much searched for, much discussed, but unverified by objective means." Either way, what's important to know is that the area around the front wall of the vagina isn't always an erogenous zone. So if you've gone looking for your G-spot but haven't felt so much as a tingle, that's perfectly normal.

What Our Bodies Have in Common with the Liver of a Shark
Let's discuss vaginal lubrication for a moment, shall we? Turns out it's comprised of a daunting list of ingredients, from water and lactic acid to squalene, which can also be found in sharks' livers. "Each component contributes to maintaining the delicate balance between yeast and bacteria inside the vagina," Gardos says. (He had nothing to add about the shark thing.) As for where it comes from, the answer is through the vaginal walls. "The action is similar to sweating," Gardos says. "The walls of the vagina are constantly emitting moisture to keep the tissue healthy, and during arousal that amount increases." Some women get soaked, others are just slippery enough for action. A lack of lubrication is typically caused by hormone changes, dehydration, or a guy who hasn't grasped the importance of foreplay.

Currently listening : Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite By Maxwell Release date: 02 April, 1996

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The Average Guy Finishes Last...If At All
Current mood: anxious
Category: Romance and Relationships

The saying goes that nice guys finish last, but are they really all that nice or just average; ordinary at best?

I've been taking stock if the men I have dated recently and am dating, in particular the "nice guys". And what has been consistent is that these nice guys are just average at everything...career, sexually, romantically, intelligence, social graces, looks...all average. So being average tends to make their margin of drama low, so they are appealing.  But for real, they are like pilot lights on a stove or in a furnace. They just keep the gas pumping for the real fire. What I'd like to know is, where are the extra ordinary low-drama/drama free men?

The really smart men with a more than adequate libido and skill?

How about the ultra romantic sexy ass all hell man without baby momma drama?

Or an uber talented artist with a little more than pocket lint and a lot less than 7-8 "muses"?

Is it so hard to find a social, non smoking, loving, god-fearing, big equipment havin', sexy, back bone using, creative, check book balancing, low drama, childless, affectionate, conscious, positive focused nerd?

Now if I was just a regular woman that wanted regular things in a regular house with regular looking kids, then this would be ok, but I am not. I am all that I am looking.

So I emplore you all to pray that I find my extraordinay in a sea of average Joes.

Currently watching : The Best Man Release date: 29 February, 2000

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My Cousin's School in Nigeria
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Travel and Places

Peace & Blessings MySpace Family:

The following was written by my cousin, affectionly known as Sissy, who has been living in Africa for over 40 years.  I am reaching to you all now in the hopes that you will be able to assist an extention of your family across the globe.  Thank you in advance for anything that you can do, including passing the information on to another loved one.

Thanks bunches!

The Dutchess of Mayhem

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On behalf of The Open Classroom, Im writing to request your assistance in facilitating the establishment of a free health clinic in Kaduna, Nigeria. The Open Classroom is the school-based, non-profit organization of Essence International School, which has been in existence for 25 years in Kaduna. The organization is providing basic literacy and educational services to the local community. We have taught at the primary and secondary school levels in Nigeria, Niger Republic and Kenya. Our services are free to the community and are funded by grants, membership dues and donations. The primary goal of The Open Classroom is to educate Africas children especially those who are most needy and have never been to school.

We are planning a health clinic for an impoverished community of nomadic people on the outskirts of the Kaduna city metropolis. This is an under-served, rural community who do not have access to basic medical care or facilities, and have very little or no income to purchase these services. To achieve our goal, we would like to equip our clinic with the following basic supplies. The community we serve has a high birth rate and is a very young population (more than 50% are under 18 years old.) We also have a higher than usual number of albinos (male and female) in this community, who have severe sunburns due to the strong sunrays and sunlight.

The following list includes some of the items we will need for the health clinic:

Sunscreen SPF 30+                      Spray Disinfectant               Cough Syrup  

Fever Reducer/Pain reliever            Band aid                           Vapor Rub

Sterile gauze bandages                  Witch Hazel/alcohol wipes     Lip Balm       

Eye glasses                                 Disinfectant wipes               Antibiotic ointment

Artificial/Natural Eye tears               Throat Lozenges                Anti-itch cream

Childrens Vitamins/Tablets             Q-tips                               Malaria tablets

Suture kits                                  Ringworm ointment             Scabies ointment

Disposable Rubber Gloves               Hand sanitizers

Our rural site, just outside Kaduna, welcomes visitors. The nomadic community is a group of Fulani cattle herders. They welcome volunteer assistance in cattle breeding, cattle rearing and veterinary skills. We would also welcome volunteer teachers and/or students who wish to have a closer look at our program and get acquainted with educational development in an African, rural setting.

We also have 3 new classrooms that are being constructed for this community, which will enable us to provide a standard learning environment for the young children and young adults. We are also interested in basic school supplies for the classrooms such as

Scissors                   Staplers & staples      Files & folders           Notebooks

Pens & Pencils          Crayons                  Glue                       Paints

Construction paper    Markers                  Pencil cases            

We appreciate your assistance and look forward to a positive response from you. Please feel free to circulate this letter to other organizations or individuals who are interested in supporting our educational and basic health care activities in Africa. The University of Pennsylvania has an excellent record of supporting such projects and we hope that they will be a willing and eager sponsor or facilitator in our efforts to improve the lives and futures of these under-served African children.

For additional information, visit our website http://www.essenceschool.com on The Open Classroom. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Dolores L. Mohammed, CEO

The Open Classroom

Currently watching : Sarafina Release date: 04 June, 2002

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Locs of love...
Current mood: thoughtful

So I have decided to let my hair grow...after years of sporting the low brush cut I have made a commitment to grow.

I had it set in my head that once I was married and was focused on starting a family that then I would loc my hair.  Be the little afrocentric soccer Mom toteing the kids around.  But recently, I've been in the mind set of commitment and preparing myself to find a partner; working on my body, my head, my finances and my spirit. Making a promise to myself to get over my issues with commitment.

In that effort I have decided to loc my hair and this is definitely a challenge. A battle of wills some days and a journey in discovery.  I am spending valuable time with myself thinking, reading, growing and getting to the root (pun intended) of a lot of things.

In an afro my hair is your regular garden variety sistah girl kink.  With the locs, my hair is claiming full every 3rd generation drop of my latin heritage.  With every effort I make to twist, tighten and kink, my hair wants to be curly or straight, which has me scratching my head and calling my mother inquiring about this mane and surprisingly unlocking secrets.

All in all this struggle is fulfilling and I know, like life at some point I will need some help, but for right now I need to toil through my issues (hair and otherwise) solo.

Currently listening : Heavier Things By John Mayer Release date: 09 September, 2003

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