certainly not lacking seasonal cheer

it's official - I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE.

allow me to launch my frustrations onto you dear friend.

first of all, christmas in victoria = what a load of shit. http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=77003
"christmas is a time to spend time with your family" , oh yeah, i forgot nobody was capable of doing that at any other time of the year., i forgot the family only appeared magically on december 25. it's also a time to get drunk and spend copious amounts of cash. i'm afraid to leave my house because i might get run over by some drunk sack of shit who's "celebrating". getting drunk, driving and getting killed, what a fantastic celebration that is, jesus and your family will give you a great big hurrah for being a stupid cunt.  if jesus was alive today he'd be ashamed of all the rubbish people killing themselves on the roads and pining over gifts, and using his name to get hidieously drunk and act barbaric. if i was going participate in some quasi-religious tot, i'd make sure i wasnt desecrating the "lord" by using him as an excuse to fuck myself up.

secondly...http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2007/12/24/1198344921316.html?s_rid=theage:top5 ...what? "accidentally"?? oh yeah, it's quite common to make the mistake of accidentally killing your own child, everyone does it.  No no don't blame the fucking parents at all, it's society's fault for not telling the "parents" that obscene amounts of heat is dangerous to a toddler. I personally and strongly hope their other two kids are freed from their neglectful dumb cunt parents soon.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/police-arrest-man-lacking-seasonal-cheer/2007/12/24/1198344921848.html - wowee! you can get arrested for hating christmas now. hopefully nobody turns me in then.  he didnt get arrested for hitting some bloke or intruding at 1pm, no, the major problem is that he was "lacking seasonal cheer" , my my let's hope there's enough cells left to detain all the buddhists, muslims, jews and hindus.

fuck you very much

3:12 PM - 6 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

ifrostrukcha, yeah
Category: Parties and Nightlife

It has been a truly triumphant day, in that I beat the system. Do read on..


In Australia (Melbourne most prominantly) there are strict laws against using public transport without purchasing a ticket, and/or a "valid" ticket .
Victoria's ticket inspectors board trains in packs of about 5-6 at select times and roam the carriages asking passangers to present their tickets. The law as I know it states that anybody boarding a train, tram or bus must purchase a valid ticket in order to use the public transport service - The term "valid" meaning that the ticket type should be; a) of a price which the passanger is eligable for: A "full fare" ticket that usually applies to full-time employees who don't receive governmental benefits (otherwise known as welfare payments). A "concession" ticket is half the price of a full fare and applies to health-care card holders (predominately held by those who receive a certain form of welfare), and university students who have a concession card - a special card enabling a student to purchase transport tickets  half price and discounts on other purchases (namely cinema tickets and the like). A "senior" which applies to elderly citizens above 60 years. b) the ticket must be valid within the correct "zone". Melbourne's public transport system operates within 2 zones, which is made up of nothern, western, north eastern, south, southwest, and eastern suburbs, which are allocated to one of these 2 zones. c) the ticket has an expiry date and time.

Now, an "evasion" of these laws includes not presenting a ticket and not presenting a valid ticket - invalid being a breach of any or all of the restrictions detailed above. Recently, new laws in addition to the existing laws were introduced, with a specific focus on Melbourne. Ticket inspectors have now been given some rather disturbing extensions to their authority. They can now arrest passangers and detain them for failing to cooporate with their requests. Note that train and tram (and now most recently bus) passangers are also fined for "crimes" OTHER than ticket evasion, this includes using crude language, placing their feet on seats, vandalism (namely graffiti and damaging furniture), consumption of alcohol and consumption of food or drink. The new law also enables ticket inspectors to request a show of your ticket on platforms of train and tram stations and not just within the public transport vehicles.

__

Recently, I boarded a train with a concession type ticket.  I was not, however, carrying a concession card. I had not purchased one yet, however, was planning to the following week. I'm a student and can't afford to pay the sickenly ridiculous full price for a substandard service. "Substandard" signifying that one who pays $10 a day for the use of these services should not have to suffer constant delays, cancellations and packed carriages incessantly. I also live in the western suburbs.  Connex (Melbourne's main train company), the bus and tram companies and the government seems to feel that public transport within this area should be interrupted by innumerable delays, sparse timetables, impulsive cancellations and broken vehicles.
When I got to my desired platform, I inserted my ticket into one of the ticket machines on exit and shortly after was confronted by a ticket inspector who asked that I show him my ticket. I happily revealed my ticket. He glanced at it swiftly and asked me if could show him my concession card. I explained that I did not have one at current and I also told him that I'm a student and have been receiving payments from Centrelink (Australia's job centre). I showed him my student card, my learners permit (for I.D purposes) and said that he should contact Centrelink AND my university to confirm these claims. He feigned understanding and said he'll still have to fine me for purchasing a concession ticket without a concession card...
A couple of weeks later I received a letter from the "Transport Infringment Administration", a subsidiary within the Victorian Department of Infratructure, which detailed the laws I apparantly "violated" , the fine I would have to pay and a plethora of extra rubbish.  I did nothing in regards to this for weeks on end. I then received another letter showing an increased amount and a court warning.  I still did nothing. Another couple of weeks following this letter, I recieved a "FINAL DEMAND NOTICE" , showing a larger increased amount, a demand to pay it within a fortnight and the consequences of non-payment, which in this case was to appear in court....
After initial bouts of crying in laughter, I noticed that on each of these letters they had issued them with incorrect spelling of my first name. Another 10 minutes of gaffawing on the floor followed and  I figured that considering my hesitation to give my hard earned money to these bureaucratic pigs, I could attempt to delay payments with such a technicality...
And so on the very last day of their deadline, I called the Transport Infringment Administration, and asked them to return my call with an e-mail address I could write to. A lovely woman returned my call on the same day and I explained to her why I didn't bother paying. She sounded concerned that I had waited until the last day to contact them, but I lovingly reassured her it was simply to take the piss out of the system.  She gave me an e-mail address I could write to. I wrote them a letter and attached a photocopy of my I.D's and my new concession card. In the letter, I spent a good paragraph stressing the spelling of my name...
Two days later I received a letter from the Department of Infrastructure stating that my transport infringment fine has been "formally withdrawn" and that I need not take any further action and that if I had made any payments, they will be refunded to me. They did, however, attach some documents detailing my "rights and responsibilities as a public transport user" which I should "read and take note of". I did not read nor take not of these documents, I just sat around, smiled and felt smug.

And this, my friends, is how I beat the system.

The semi-privatisation of train services has caused a large increase in ticket prices. The level of service, however, remains the same, and in a lot of cases has fallen below standard. These standards may be acceptable in third and second world countries, but it should not be acceptable in first world societies. The purchasing of old trains which are hastily refurbished is one the most incomprehensibly inefficient decisions Connex has made. Firstly and most importantly, this inexusable attempt at providing more train services only jeapardises the safety of citizens, secondly the very citizens who are paying the $10 a day are also the ones who are being raped of their taxes to pay for these old trains which jeapardise their safety, and lastly alot of these "refurbished" old trains are recalled back into the workshop for more improvements following a dangerous series of breakdowns, which again eats more taxpayer money. And so, the resulting "service" is fewer trains, almost permanant delays and cancellations,  revoltingly infrequent timetabling, strikes, and the elimination of essential carriage numbers.
Connex would rather pay for more ticket inspectors to collect their precious revenue,  than improve the safety and security of their "services".

When you purchase a ticket, think about what you're really paying for. A seat? Bollocks. On the 6 to 9am services, nobody gets to sit. Everbody is crammed in like sardines matted against a steam presser. This is due to a decrease in actual working vehicles. Is this because people don't buy tickets? No. Connex would rather have you pay the 158 doller fine than the measly $10 you avoided paying. You are also not paying to get to work on time. In order for one to make it to work/school/uni/footy practice at the desired time, one would have to catch Connex train roughly 4 hours before, because even though it may only be a 25 minute trip, Connex will undoutedly cancel or delay a service or two. Buses in the far western suburbs run so infrequently that 2 or 3 trains to the central business district will have arrived and departed.

To the Department of Infrastructure, I wish I could express to you how overjoyed I am that you didn't get your $158.

With love,
ENZ

6:55 AM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Bi to go!

The 2 "Bi's"

The Bi-sexual subculture...
       
I'm sure most people have noticed, especially since the rise of myspace, the trend of "bisexuals" online in the last 5 years or so? Is this a normal state of progression in our society or is it just bullshit? I vouch for bullshit. Where were all you bisexuals proudly pronouncing your bullshit bisexuality before it became trendy on myspace? I couldn't see you anywhere except on shitty vampire sites. Yet now, every tom, dick, harry and sally is suddenly bisexual. Oh, and I love the ones who claim they're bisexual, but they prefer one gender more than the other - does this make sense to you? Is it because you can't get laid in one gender so you thought you'd try the other? Why not get laid by both at the same time? Oh, I see you've already tried that - and you look disgusting.
I've noticed also that the majority of victims of this trend appear to be American online-savvy girlies between the age of 15-25. And in the process of convincing themselves they're bisexual, they date other "bisexual" boys, who are also dimwitted and confused. Does the emo/goth music you listen to encourage you to explore these uncharted sexual avenues - or is it actually just bullshit? I still vouch for bullshit. What's unfair is that the people who declared to be homo or half homo or quarter homo or whatever way before this trend emerged into the emo/goth online tradition it is today, are now being lumped in with the other dickheads because they happen to admit their sexuality. I ask you online bi's, why is being bi-sexual cool? Does it make you feel open-minded and liberal (you know you're not)? It just means you're now sexually unlimited and you go around pretending to be attracted to the same sex - but I bet in the end you choose monogamy with your loverboy which you apparantly have an on/off relationship with.
Are you really bi, or are you just intent on attracting more pedofiles to your myspace profile?

 The BiPolar subculture...

The other great online trend of recent times is people claiming their bi-polar in one form or another. Some even invent new and improved forms of it to make it sound more plausible. I've news for these self-proclaimed bipolars which may come as a major shock ....EVERYBODY has bouts of depression. That's right, I said it. It's COMMON. Everybody feels like shit. Feeling bad is a result of our society and the miserable lives we lead - it is NOT something that makes you special. Your doctor only 'diagnosed" you so you can become yet another consumer that funds the unnecessary pills industry. If everyone else went to their GP claiming theyre feeling depressed, they'd be diagnosed too, just like you.  It's only actually a serious medical "disorder"about 1% of the time. If you suffer from the occasional panic attack, or constant anxiety, it does NOT mean you're bi-polar. Don't just read up on bi-polar sites and equate your life to all the symptoms they've listed. Just because you cry on your bed every night about how you missed your favourite band's concert, it doesn't mean you're bi-polar. Furthermore, depression is NOT an excuse to be a lazy peice of shit. Depression should NOT stop you from being an active member of society. If anything, you should be depressed for the poor sods who have to work all day just to help the government fund your lazy cunt arse. Even if you genuinly had bi-polar, why would you be PROUD of it? Why parade around with your bi-polar badge demanding pity and attention from others? Nobody thinks you're a hero for being suicidal and then deciding not to go through with it. Everyone thinks you SHOULD go through with it, even your favourite bands. Why do you think they constantly preach suicide and self-loathing? It's because they want you to shove a surgery knife in your wrist and get it over with, it's time you got the hint.

5:43 AM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

I'm stingy and sharp, like a spearmint tic tac

Mixed Bag of Complaints . More should hopefully be following, i think


p.s no Im not bitter. I just like to whinge.

Youtube comments.

I hate Youtube comments. Or any comments on any video site for that matter. Has anyone actually sat there and read the comments on most videos? It's a massive vat of putrid undereducated sickening ignorant vomit. I wonder what goes through the head of the boring wankometers that prowl around youtube and write in comments. Is it something like "woot look at me Im so clever Im creating animosity, hostility and hate amongst the rest of the wanker community who feel that what they say in a little box under a video matters to anything or has any significance whatsoever". So far NONE of the comments Ive read on youtube have been constructive in any form unless its to verify an error in the title of the video or something like that. I feel it's safe to say that most poeple who comment on youtube videos (especially those of a political nature) are hateful wastes of flesh who have little else more than a single brain cell left in which they occupy by typing (badly, I might add).


Shopping Centres.

I refer specifically to Highpoint Shopping Centre in Melbourne. This is it, this is what I call the  "robot factory". Why, you ask? Because it produces and distributes robotic beings who dress the same, act the same, walk the same and talk the same, the only possible difference is their ages, and hair colour (although I hear they all prefer to be blonde). The majority population of Highpoint is just a pool of insecurity and confusion which streams about trying to fit in with everyone, absolutely lacking in any independant thought, like the borg pouring off a production line. It's sad. It's sad because they wear a uniform like theyre in communist China, when in fact this is a country where they have the oppurtunity to go beyond and think for themselves yet instead they'd rather shop around aimlessly basking in material shallowness where their only source of actual humanity is the juices of their genitalia flowing inside of them. Theyre generic sheep. Even sheep might have a more diverse genetic tree. And it disturbs me because these are the type of people who think having a child is the most noble thing anyone could ever do, therefore they'll proceed to reproduce more degenerate spawn. This spawn which I mightily pity.  Why am I generalising, you might ask? Because I'm actually not. I've searched high and low for any ounce of contradiction which any trendy princess, scene kid, emo-goth, or other youthful sub-culture might want to present to me and I've not found a single one. The sad thing is that usually adults try to grow out of these sub-cultures as they become more mature and gain more responsibilities in life, but I'm starting to notice that even the people above 30 at these shopping centres appear to remain like their children - a sad, sad sight indeed.



Racial Profiling in the Media

Recently in Melbourne some cunt named Christopher Hudson shot 3 people, one to death, and injured a woman. Yet I noticed that the media made absolutely no mention of his race or religion. I assume because he's white, and probably somewhat christian. Why would they, you ask? Because my friends, they always do. I would've thought that the Australian media was somewhat  secular and objective, but obviously I was wrong. Anyone who isn't white or Christian automatically gets branded and identified with whatever religion and/or race they belong to. So why wasn't Mr Hudson chosen to represent HIS entire culture like everyone else? Why is it that when someone of a muslim, atheistic ,european or asian background commits a crime, the media identify them as belonging to one of these as if to imply that their crime is a result of being a part of any one of these cultures or religions - unless of course it is directly so (i.e  suicide bomber which hasnt so far happened here, anyway).  So to be fair, Australian Media, I think I'm going to make Mr Hudson represent and speak for ALL the white Australians, because I'm pretty sure they all advocate MURDER (and probably would find a reason to get his sentance reduced). Am I being unfair? Not but hey, tough titties.

That's pretty much all for now. Remember, I love you all, I just hate what you do.

3:48 AM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

here thoughty thoughty thought

Just a thought,...

what pisses me off these days is muslim kids in australia starting to act more "western" and more "christian" and even starting to embrace christian festivities (muslim kid starts giving xmas cards out to christrian friends - yet do the christian kids start fasting at ramadan? I dont fucking think so) just so the majority of white kids won't hate them and so they can fit in. Heh, I dont know why anyone would wanna be "more christian" and i do find it kind of sad. Its like trying to go from serial rapist to serial bisexual rapist! I personally think they should be proud of being far way from being a christian (even though religiously they arent really), I damn would be. And I find it sad that white australians would only accept them if a few converts go on a current affair and claim to be "normal people" and that they are fully integrated into australian culture  - hang on, australian culture?? what the fucks australian culture?  ooh look at us muslims having barbeques, sure its Halal meat and not your usual incestuous shit-eating pork, and we drink beer too! except its non-alcoholic! Sure, that fully means you've found a balance between your religion and "australian culture". The Jews do it too, I'm sure the christians are all so thankful that the Myer/Grace Bros. decorate the christmas windows in melbourne every year. Think again, bitch - they dont give a fuck about your religion, they just want you to spend money in their department store. I say fuck everyone else and just be yourself. Fuck the people in Australia who think being a western Christian is the best way to be. Well you're fucking wrong. The muslim kids highschool fitting in tactics is not working, you idiots. Everybody still identifies you as being the same religion as a suicide bomber (hmm yet do we identify catholics as being the same religion as a pedofile priest? I know i do =D) So if I were you, I wouldnt try! I say celebrate your kebab luncheon, it's fucking tastier!  and its the same with you jews with whatever you eat...
   

1:58 AM - 11 Comments - 7 Kudos - Add Comment

Basic Flash Animations R Us

American television claims to be politically correct - yet I have not seen a single homosexual character in all the episodes Ive seen of Star Trek  or in other  sci-fi!!!
The only possible exception would be "The Outcast" episode 17, season 5 of Next Generation where the Enterprise encounters a race called the "J'naii " in which the entire race is androgynous. (even though later on, one reckons it is more "female" and falls in love with Riker...yet the more "gay" element would be Riker falling in love with an androgyn...hmm yes)



Now Data...is totally, totally hardcore and would never be gay, God bless his posytronic brain



Another possible homosexual encounter is in the case of DS9 panning out quite a few episodes where  Jadzia Dax (lt. Commander) is a Trillian simbient which then became Curzon Dax....she fell in love with Lenara Kahn and they began a relationship, which was quite "taboo" as Dax was technically a female entity. ..!!



Thats all the examples I can think of right now until I see more episodes of stuff. There might be some gay action in Enterprise but I find watching that painful, even if T'Pol is tres sexy!

Currently watching : Star Trek The Next Generation - The Complete Fifth Season Release date: 05 November, 2002

11:10 PM - 5 Comments - 7 Kudos - Add Comment

The Toilet. Is it really just a waste-relief room?
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Games

Reviews on latest DVD releases

Good afternoon everyone, I thought I'd post some helpful and informative film reviews to save you making a trip to the video store =)


Save The Last Dance 2
Cast: bum fluff
Black guys doing ballet. This is gay. If you liked this, you are gay.

The Devil Wears Prada
cast: anne hathaway, lindsy chamberlain
Ugly badger-like woman goes to new york, persues a job, gets bullied by boss, becomes somehow remotely bearable to look at, gets successful blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blahhhhhhhhhhhh blaaaaaaaahhhhh twiddle dee twiddle doo boom boom bam bam

Gridiron Gang
Cast: The Rock, Xibit, Other Peices of Grumbling Meat with disturbingly human-like bone structure
Is there anything The Rock cant do? Yes, there is. It's everything. He shouldnt be called Rock. Rocks are better actors. They are also slightly better looking. Xibit although a good rapper, is slightly less equal to a dog's penis in acting skill. People who rent this film: have their eyes on their arse cheeks and their brains inside a nipple tumour.

Running Scared
cast: paul walkingcock, walls, doors
Great film, paul walker has a serious expression on his face and runs away from things, and possibly has to find out some information about something later on, very intense, oh yeah.
People who liked this film also liked: looking at their watch to obtain an approximation of time.


The Grudge 2
Cast: scary face, bits of hair
Excellent raping of japanese horror comes back to lick its encrusted cum off jap film's vagina. this time with lots more of scary pale face and lots more hair in front of it, and maybe a wrinkly hand.


Chaos
cast: ryan teenloveinterest, wesley snip
Chaos = what a total peice of twatty garbage. I haven't seen it, yet honestly...cmon. Wesley Snipes, big fucking surprise there, the man who's acting skill can only extend to the size of his clitoris (which happens to be rather pretty according to his bunkmate Ryan Phillippe ). People who found this entertaining: Little peice of wood, Big peice of wood, and rotting moss in the vatican.

Edison
cast: justin timberwank, some other blokes
The same basic wank as Chaos, only with a real life boyband.
people who liked this also liked: to shove hairbrushes into their anal cavity.

World Trade Centre
Cast: Nicholas Cage, Other Bloke, Maggie Gylenstopbeingadutchpossiblybelgianwhore
What a complete dissapointing disapointment. For shame, Nic Cage. There wasnt even any proper arab killing.  or even any proper yank killing. Just a bunch of "american heroes" twoddle. Why should we have to pay for yanks to boost their ego damn you. People who watched this also liked: sex with semi automatics.

Attack Force
Cast: Oversized plastic bottle otherwise known as Steven Seagal
Piece of rotting turd goes around europe to try to find out what flushed the other peices of rotting turd. Excellent firing techniques and lots of kickarse action from mr oversized plastic bottle, a must see for all those who liked Steven Seagal shooting things at the beach, Steven Seagal shooting things in a warehouse, and many other shooting things in a plotless oblivion adventures.

Candy ..
cast: brokeback mountain guy, random chick
fantastic film about a director's plight to create a semi-indie film featuring pretty yet confused girl meeting bloke with the personality of travelling lard. Unfortunately, success rate is minimal, even non existant.

Clerks II ..
cast: dante, randal, love interest, extra bloke
What can i say Dante...you're an old shit.

The Covenant
cast: apparantly hunky clones extracted from womb of queen apparantly hunky clone
Peices of fag have special powers, something about a scary house or witches or something, could not quite understand the "plotline" as i resorted to eating my own foot 10 minutes in.


Idlewild
cast: bunch of black people
Change Barbershop to drama and set it back to the 1930s and you've got your film. Pretty damn brilliant and original eh?


The Lakehouse
cast: Cardboard cutout otherwise known as Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bulldog
Woman + man fall in love, with a bit of added sci fi for good measure. Positively delightful for those who like watching a cardboard cut out and an unripe vegetable doing their best at being interesting.


Lady In the Water
cast: ugly fairies
Another of Shyamalan's half arsed creations but this time he don't even have any retardo twists or pointless things in villages.
people who watched this also liked: intently listening to star trek dvd commentry

Talladega Nights
cast: will farrel, borat
brainless yank twoddle about cars featuring america's finest wank.
people who liked this also liked: to dribble on a couch in trailer.

Zombie Honeymoon
Cast: zombies
Fucking brilliant.

Currently listening : Terra Infernalis By Ah Cama-Sotz Release date: 24 October, 2000

8:57 AM - 9 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Interesting developments in the world of printed neckties
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Parents. I am completely utterly sick of parents and also children. Parents can shove it where the sun don't shine.
So the other day i was sittin at work minding my own business, scanning shit, you know, chewing on chocolate and what not when this ugly codger of a parent came up to me and said something along the lines of "why didn't one of you tell me this film was rated R when i rented it...blah de blah...my kids watched it, i'm angry etc etc" shoving the dvd in my face. <<can't you read, fucka?


Figure1. It's clearly fucking marked.

So, he asked ME and my shop to be responsible for censoring his children's viewing...what? do I have to do this for every lazy fucking parent that comes in with shitfaced kids? no way. Why dont you just ask me to take them to school as well, hey why not dress them while Im at it...want me to breast feed yer ugly baby as well?
Excuse me parents, its YOUR responsibility to censor your child's viewing, not Mine or my place of work., or my fellow staff members, or fucking universal studios. If YOU don't want YOUR kid watching R rated or X rated or M rated material, YOU have to take the initiative to rent them suitable DVD's, not sit around having a smoke outside while they run a muck renting fucking Special Edition Uncut version of Irreversible.
For your conveniance, here are the most common rating systems:

Australia:

Unrestricted:

• E - Exempt From Classification
• G - For General Exhibition
• PG - Parental Guidance Recommended
• M - Recommended for Mature Audiences

Restricted:

• MA15+ - Suitable for Mature Audiences Only - Persons Under 15 Must be accompanied by a parent or adult guardian.
• R18+ - Restricted to Adults 18 Years and Over
• X18+ - Restricted to Adults 18 Years and Over (ACT and NT Only) - Contains explicit sexual content.

Banned:

• RC - Refused Classification - Illegal for sale or hire in Australia.

Canada:

• G - General - Suitable for viewing by all ages.
• PG - Parental Guidance
• 14A - Suitable for viewing by persons 14 years of age or older. Persons under 14 must be accompanied by an adult.
• 18A - Suitable for viewing by persons 18 years of age or older. Persons under 18 must be accompanied by an adult.
• R - Restricted - Admittance restricted to persons 18 years of age or older.
• A - Adult - Admittance restricted to persons 18 years of age or older. Contains predominantly sexually explicit activity.

UK

• Uc (Universal : Children) Suitable for all. Videos classified 'Uc' are particularly suitable for pre-school children. (Video only)
• U (Universal) Suitable for all. (The board state that while they cannot predict what might upset a particular child, a 'U' film should be suitable for audiences aged 4 and over)
• PG (Parental Guidance) General viewing but some scenes may be unsuitable for young children. (It is the board's policy that movies rated 'PG' should not disturb a child of about 8 years of age or older; however, parents are advised to consider whether the content may upset young or more sensitive children)
• 12A (12 Accompanied/Advisory) Suitable for 12 years and over. No one younger than 12 may see a '12A' film in a cinema unless accompanied by an adult. (Exclusively for cinema, '12A' was first implemented on The Bourne Identity and not, contrary to popular belief, on Spider-Man, which was first released months before, under the previously fully restrictive 12 certificate, and then immediately re-released to take advantage of the new guidelines)
• 12 Suitable for 12 years and over. No one younger than 12 may rent or buy a '12' rated video. (Until 31 August 2002, this mandatory certificate used to apply to cinema exhibitions as well)
• 15 Suitable only for 15 years and over. No one younger than 15 may see a '15' film in a cinema. No younger than 15 may rent or buy a '15' rated video.
• 18 Suitable only for adults. No one younger than 18 may see an '18' film in a cinema. No one younger than 18 may rent or buy an '18' rated video.
• R18 (Restricted 18) To be shown only in specially licensed cinemas, or supplied only in licensed sex shops, and to adults of not less than 18 years. (These films contain sexually explicit, pornographic content.)

United States

Unrestricted:

• G - General Audiences - All ages admitted.
• PG - Parental Guidance Suggested - Some material may not be suitable for young children. These films contain some mild language, humor, and/or violence.
• PG-13 - Parents Strongly Cautioned - Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. These films contain sexuality, language, humor, and/or violence.

Restricted:

• R - Restricted - Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian 21 years or older with photo I.D. These films contain, strong adult language, strong sexuality, nudity, strong violence, and/or gore, and drug use.
• NC-17 - No One 17 And Under Admitted (18 and older ONLY) Films contain excessive graphic violence, sex, aberrational behavior, drug abuse, strong adult language, or any other elements which, when present, most parents would consider too strong and therefore off-limits for viewing by their children.

(NC-17 Does not necessarily mean obscene or pornographic; in the oft-accepted or legal meaning of those words. The Board does not and cannot mark films with those words. These are legal terms for courts to decide)

Others:

• NR or Not Rated - Not an MPAA rating. Used for independent or foreign films that are in limited release and have not been submitted to the MPAA for a rating classification. Also used by a film that is soon to be released and has trailers out for promotional purposes, but has not yet received a final rating. Advertisements for films with a pending rating contain the notice "This film is not yet rated". Most films released before 1968 carry this policy.

• X - The precursor to the current NC-17 rating that unlike the other ratings was not trademarked. Because it was not trademarked it became so widely used by the US pornography industry that the MPAA replaced it with the NC-17 rating in 1990.

**Source: Wikipedia

So, there you have it. Any other questions, lazy parents?
Word of advice, DON'T have a child if you're going to neglect it's well-being. Accident? who cares, abort it. Sure Im not a mother and I don't know what it's like to run round and do things for me kids all day, yet hey, it's why Im not gonna be one innit?!


Figure 2. ugly spoiled family

YOUR child is nobody else's responsibility. It wasn't nobody else that shoved it out their cunt, or adopted it, or pumped in millions of possibly defective sperm. It's no-one else's problem to censor things, society is not to blame for how shitty your child is, nobody forces your kid to play video games or listen to rap music (this is where you step in and stop them from doing so...funny how parents have that sort of authority, no? that's it, slap them to the moon). and last of all its NOBODY else's responsinility to discipline your child EXCEPT YOURS. You got that you fucking tired, gormless whingy pregnant lemon?

Currently listening : A Hundred Days Off By Underworld Release date: 24 September, 2002

7:11 PM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

a kangaroo with english as a second language
Category: Automotive

Now, before you refute this blog, I will say that yes I do realise that every person's job is a cunt to do, unless your job is masturbating and eating all day. This isn't so much as another complainy blog as it is a guide for you, the customer, on how to be better customers. Oh i jest, It is a complainy blog, a massive massive one...

As most of you know, i work in a video shop, ...sounds like fun eh? WRONG! It WOULD be fun if the job consisted of sitting there watching movies all day and typing in the computer and the customers were all spunky kevin smith characters, yet no, contrary to popular belief, this is NOT the case.


Late Fees

Late fees are NOT incured by the workers, so dont whinge to me when you get them. They are gained automatically on the computer system as soon as your rental passes the return date, theyre not put in by anybody, as much as we hate you, we wouldnt want to make trouble for ourselves and take time  out our busy schedule to piss you off (although sometimes its tempting). Late fees were originally incured so that the greedy cunt owner of the store could still  gain profits on the dvd while you've still got it out. When you get a late fee there is only 2 things that couldve happened. You returned it late, or
when returned we didnt scan it properly or some sort of error on our part - which is highly unlikely - the returns is the most serious part of it. Now, there is always someone that will be wrong yet will still decide to argue over late fees, and to them i say, get fucked. If you've got a problem with the policy dont fucking whine to me, i didnt make it up, Im not paid to sit there
and argue with you for 40 minutes over something you cant understand. Stop being a lazy cunt and return your rental on time. If you cant, pay it. If you dont wanna pay it, find out who the owner is and whinge to them. Dont fuck up my day by coming in and showing me  and my workmates what a complete cockhead you are.



Shelves

A common misconception is that we get bored and we have nothing to do. Wrong. We have set tasks, there are returns to scan, and then to be put out on the shelf in a certain order, we also have to do a bunch of other shit by closing (and stay after closing if everything is not done due to fuckheads who decide they wanna rent a video 2 seconds before closing). Bottom line is, dont come in and fuck up the shelves. Dont move shit. If you think I dont notice, you think wrong. We notice everything. Things are in order for a reason. We dont just throw the DVDs and other junk out there randomly, there is a structure...DONT FUCK UP THE STRUCTURE. This is for the people that take something off the shelf,. look at it but then put it back in a completely different area. Im very sure this occurs in all retail jobs. Stop doing it you inconsiderate fucks. Also, i dont care if you have kids. Youre in a public place, control them. There is nothing worse than spending two hours fixing shit up to perfection then having some bratty little turd come and fuck it up in one second because its parents were a
lazy cunt and just let it run a muck around the store. Kids are like pets. What you think is gonna happen when you dont keep dogs on a leash? It'll go wild of course. When you fuck up the shelves, you are not only making our shift harder in the form of physical work..but..when someone asks if we have a rental we look it up on the computer and it will say we have it in an allocated place, but due to wankers fucking up the shelves when we go to look on the allocated place its not there,even though the computer says its here...so we end up looking like we dont do our job proper and the customer walks out
disappointed. WE don't misplace things as it makes it hard for US. Consider this next time.



I'm Not A Movie Encyclopedia

Don't ask staff members for reviews. Sure, Im meant to have a little movie knowledge, but I cant possibly have seen every damn movie you bring up, especially random old shit. You think we live and breathe movies and do nothing but watch all of the latest releases just so we can tell you "if its any good"? No. All the latest releases are all the same. Theyre predictable hollywood garbage. What else do you wanna know? Protaganist is in a situation which is either comical, fast-paced or scary. Protaganised runs away from something or has an eventful overly dramatic story to tell thats either funny or thrilling. Protaganist meets love interest, they do a bunch of stuff, some people may die, the end. Not only do you ask if its any good, you ask what its about. Cant you read? There is a plot nicely written out for you on the back of the case. If i feel like commenting on a film, i will. Also, dont ask me to "recommend" anything. How the fuck would i know what your tastes are. Im not going to recommend something you hate so that you can be pissed off at me the next day. Im paid to scan your rentals and show you where things are, thats all.

Don't Be A Cunt

If you're gonna be a consumer, don't blame me for it. Why do people feel the need to be a complete prick to people that are just doing their job? There is a cycle in retail. If youre nice to us, we're nice to you, and vice versa. Fair enough yes, some workers are complete fucks, but most of them just wanna do their work, get paid and get the fuck outta there. Just the same as you. Don't act like you are our only customer. Youre not. Hundreds of people walk through the door everyday.  Also, Ive noticed people personally asking me for a discount or to wave their late fees. Not gonna happen. Unless you are some sort of VIP, don't ask for a discount. Im not gonna get myself fired just because youre a tightarse cunt. If youre gonna spend money, do it proper. Dont complain about how expensive it is to ME. Its not MY SHOP. Im not the one making all that profit. If you dont wanna pay to watch films, download them, simple damn solution.
Returning

Your rental is not special. We get hundreds or even thousands of returns every day. Imagine sitting there and scanning a thousand dvds? not fucking fun. This is beauraucratic work! So dont stand at the counter waiting for us to personally take your dvd as some sort of proof youve returned it...no , I dont fucking remember your face. Dont say "i returned it, it was you  that saw me". Hundreds of people shove DVDs in the box every day, you all look the same to me. And the box...there is a RETURN CHUTE for a reason. You grab it, and shove it in there, how difficult is this to understand? Do not fucking leave it lying around on any random counter. There is a thousand DVDs lying around the counter to be sorted, how the fuck are we meant to know which is to be returned if you just shove it anywhere and not put it in THE RETURN CHUTE.



Rude And Racist Staff

You, the customer, should NOT have to stand for unprovoked rude staff. If you are pleasent, workers have to also be pleasent. They should greet you by smiling at you. I know what its like to go into a shop and get a bitch with an attitude. Fine if youre a cunt to your workmates, but don't take your rubbish out on customers. I realise this is a bit of a twist on what Ive said previously, but i believe in the retail cycle. Personally if Im having a shitty day and a customer greets me with
a smile, I sure would damn appreciate it. So, i suspect the customer feels the same way. Workers should not practice racial profiling. If this happens, complain and get the cunt fired. Would you really want a racist cunt taking your money?

Be Human

Corporate stores have set rules and policies. No customer should ask a worker to modify or bypass any of these policies. Why the fuck should I get into trouble just for you? I shouldnt. The more you complain the more I hate you and will be less willing to compromise. Be human and understand that I, the clerk, am simply a facilitator. I didnt invent the policies and therefore dont have the authority to change them, so fuck you. You are not special, you are NOT my only customer. and you DONT have the right to say "oh come onnnnnn". I am an understanding person. I will do my best to cater for you if you present to me a problem that i think is worth it.



Would appreciate if you had anything to add about your experiences in retail!!!

Love,
ENZ

8:10 AM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Murdering British Hairpeices, a riveting insight
Current mood: exanimate
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

For Gambi!...

Gambi, I regret ever saying Blockies was better than VideoEzy.....HOW WRONG I WAS!?
Blockies has a SLIGHLTY better range...BUT ONLY BECAUSE THEY HAVE HUGE MOTHERFUCKING STORES AND ARE A MASSIVE FAT GLOBAL CORPORATION!!

VideoEzy
Figure1..Cockheads

Cons:
-generally bad service
-bad work ethic from the staff
-shitty range most of the times
-bad at ordering things
-unorganised
-collection of latefees in an untactful way
-extremely hard to find weekly titles when requested
-shitty pay

Pros:
-easy-going!
-less anal
-can play movies or music most of the time instead of company loop tape
-Australian-owned (not American)
-all trading profits remains in australia
-sometimes a better cult shelf
-a cult shelf
-actual physical customer vs staff member fights
-incompetant manager (could also be counted as a con)
-porn


Blockbuster
Figure 2. Fat Bastards

Cons:
-shit!
-anally retentive
-massive Australian economy-arse raping corporation
-stressed out staff members!
-BORING staff members
-BORING customers
-boring
-no porn
-"adult thrillers" (rented out to extremely desperate married men who'll cum conveniantly over the DVD FUCKING CASE after seeing a quarter of a breast and hearing a woman's voice and then try to clean up the case in a half arsed way then throw it in the return chute so some young girl can scan it in getting stickyness all over her hands which she will later eat McDonalds with from the store the desperate married man's daughter works at)
-anally retentive system of everything
-ridiculous amount of copies of absolute new releases yet will attract enough customers to run out so that some namby woman can come up to the counter while Im eating my lunch and make me look through the returned chute and the scanned pile for any "stray copies"
-STRICTLY plays company loop tape where most previews are narrated in obnoxious fucking american accents as if the ones in the actual movie werent bad enough
-give out too many fucking coupons and promotions so that customers can come in and whinge about how fucking anally retentive they are because it was falsly advertised and shoulda been 1.95 instead of 2.00 and know that if I grab a bunch of 5 cent peices from the till and shove it in their tightarse middle class suburban cunt i will get fired
-making staff mop and hoover the store because they feel that the namby customers are going to get deterred by the state of the carpet while selecting superman returns off the shelf.
-about 1% of blocky workers know anything about films

Pros:
-slightly bigger
-bigger arthouse section
-better pay


So there you have it

videoezy is better than blockbuster
of course, Network is better than BOTH....you should see their cult section and they stock more actual VHS than anybody and they play thrash metal all day and movies with profanity in it rather than sucky company loop tapes or horseshit top 40 music...

Figure 3. My heroes

Currently listening : Agony, Pt. 1 By Delarosa and Asora Release date: 14 February, 2001

6:38 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment