Date: Oct 8, 2007 6:09 PM
Subject: American football.
Not that I know something but I think lazy Turkish girls, or let's say lazy, smoker, redheaded Turkish girls who have no idea about American football should not try it.
Or else, they will give people the pleasure of seeing a girl holding a ball, running in heels to the wrong direction, shouting "Why are they chasing me!? Be a gentleman and stop chasing me!!"
There is a reason why I was always absent in school when it was P.E. time.
***
Date: 26 Nov 2007, 23:13
Subject: Bluetooth.
If you are a taxi driver, talking to your girlfriend on the phone with bluetooth, let your customer know you are on the phone. Especially if your hair makes it impossible to see the headset.
It's a bit scary and confusing when the first thing you hear in a taxi is: "I love you, I will never let you go". Right after the driver locks the doors.
I hate bluetooth.
***
Date: Dec 12, 2007 1:48 PM
Subject: I do love my name but...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to convince people my name is really Elf, I'm really calling from Turkey and it's really not a prank call? Especially at this time of the year?
People always hang up on me. Always....
***
Date: Dec 14, 2007 3:44 PM
Subject: I finished my holiday shopping this morning. It hurts.
A guy burnt my hair with his cigarette, a lady pushed me away to get a sweater, someone hit my head with his/her umbrella... I have brand new sweaters and brand new bruises.
If you're living in US or Canada, save yourself from the holiday madness and do online shopping on igive.com. By doing so, you'll be automatically donating a portion of each online purchase to a good cause. Without paying any extra money. Who knows, you may be saving a life with your new Adidas sneakers.
Or wear a helmet and go to a mall. It works, too.
Happy holidays :-)
***
Date: Jan 21, 2008 3:49 PM
Subject: Dr 90210
I just watched Dr 90210 for the first time. One breast augmentation, one breast lift, one vaginoplasty. Here are my sad realizations:
- I can't be a surgeon, an anesthetist, a nurse or even a secretary at a plastic surgery clinic.
- I, also, cannot have any kind of surgery on my torso. I think I would be okay with my head, arms and legs but not torso. I will inform my body.
- Unless there is a mastectomy or uneven breasts case, women who have breast augmentation/reduction operation are insane. Truly brave, but insane. Same goes for penis enlargement. Seriously, nothing is worth having that pain. (Obviously I'm just saying it because I'm a coward when it comes to surgeries. Don't take me seriously)
- Surgeons deserve all the money they make and have all the rights to be crazy.
By the way, come to think of it, I just watched a medical procedure on an entertainment channel. Hmm...
***
Date: Feb 11, 2008 10:21 PM
Subject: Oprah.
Do you sometimes watch Oprah even though you don't want to?
Do you find yourself saying things like "I've thought the exact same thing about broccoli!!" when she's interviewing Dr Oz?
Yeah, me neither.
***
Date: Feb 17, 2008 12:16 AM
Subject: The most famous person ever: A friend
Who is that 'a friend' (a.k.a. A Close Source) who always talks about celebrities and knows their deep dark secrets?
I read about him on the newspaper every day. "A friend of X's said X uses drugs", "A friend of X's changed his mind, X does not use drugs but B does", "A friend confessed he's the one who uses drugs."
A friend sounds like a very busy imaginary friend.
Love,
A friend
***
Date: May 5, 2008 5:09 PM
Subject: Of course.
Of course you are one of the best actors ever. Of course you are so cool, girls start to drool when you smile at them. Of course guys wait in line just to ask you out. You are so clever, you can fool anyone you want. Of course. There are so many good actors, so many pretty ladies, so many sexy guys... I'm sure you're one of them and you're confident about yourself, which is great.
But maybe, just maybe, you should not write things like (Copied & Pasted) "i know i'm hot, i don't need to hear it again but thanks!!" in your About Me section.
Modesty is a great quality.
Just sayin'
***
Date: Jun 9, 2008 3:28 PM
Subject: Own your friends.
Before you buy me as your "pet" through that 'Own Your Friends' thing, you should know...
I eat minimum 5 times a day, I bite, I don't like strangers, and most importantly... I'm not toilet trained.
You've been warned.
***
Date: 16 Jun 2008, 05:54 AM
Subject: Weddings.
Have you ever went to a wedding, watched the entire ceremony, talked to other guests, signed the guestbook, taken pictures with the couple, then hours later figured you're at the wrong wedding?
In my defense, I supposed to go to a relative's wedding whom I've never met before and obviously, I was at the wrong Hilton. Now Mrs. Gonzalez thinks she is half Egyptian and we are related.
Welcome to my world.
***
Date: Jul 1, 2008 11:08 PM
Subject: I have one playful Labrador Retriever.
My dog, Ozzy, doesn't know how to play. Actually he knows how to play. He just doesn't play with toys. He hides all toys I give to him.
It's okay that he's doing it at home. But this morning, we were at the beach. I saw other people playing with their dogs. So I tried to play frisbee with Ozzy. I shouldn't have but I couldn't stop myself.
I threw the frisbee, he ran with excitement, catched the frisbee, then kept running to nowhere. Not stopped for a second.
Left me with all those people staring at me running after my dog, saying "Ozzy, you fool, that's not how this game works!"
 |
Currently
listening
:
Deep Blue
By
Keiko Matsui
Release date: 2001-07-17
|
voluminous
excited
discontent
thankful
nostalgic
geeky
quixotic
confused
rejuvenated