Tragedy at my house!
Current mood: neglected
Category: Life

Well, Gee, I am so thrilled by all of my great friends sending their thought and prays my way in light of my recent tragedy. It seems all of you are so into yourselves and pimpin your pages and sending me cute little emails about all sorts of silly videos and chain mail that you are too fucking busy to even notice that my life is all fucked up! Anyway, not that any of you assholes actually care but the courts decided that because Johnny lives in my house that I am not fit to have my children. The abusive asshole I am still married to now has the boys from Monday-Friday and i only get them on the weekends. On top of that, he hired a P.I. to follow Johnny and I on a constant basis! Because my roudy rambunctious boys have boo boos on them he reported me for child abuse! What a piece of work he is. He is filling my boys heads with all sorts of shit about Johnny and I that is not true! I was ordered by the court to kick Johnny out of my house so, Sunday night will be his last night here. Out of all my friends, the only person to even ask about how things were going was one of Johnny's cousins. Thanks so much for all of your concern you great and wonderful friends!

                      Peace, Beth

3:46 PM - 4 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Gettin’ Ready 2 Make Dreams come True
Current mood: grateful

Well, it is almost a year now since I left my second husband and i am reflecting on who I was a year ago and who I am now.

I was a quiet, housewife with no identity and no voice of my own. I stayed at home when I wasn’t at work. I had no friends of my own and no real dreams to follow. My husband kept me from the kids and my extended family as much as possible. I was not allowed to do much at home because I was never able to do anything to his satisfaction. Not even the dishes or laundry. When I tried to visit my family or a friend from my past I was emotionally beaten down for "wanting to spend time with them and not him". I was not allowed to have anyone at the house ever!!!!! Not even my own parents were welcome at "his" house. He gave me no love or physical attention for the greater part of 7 years. I had forgotten what it was like to get a hug and a kiss. I felt lonely and a stranger in my own home. On April 23 he did something very stupid and that gave me a justified reason to get out.

Well, here it is almost a year later. I have my own place. I have the boys with me. They finaly know their mommy and I know them. I get to visit my family as much as I want or am able. I have a job that I never dreamed of having and I love it very much. I love myself. I believe in me and those around me. I have a small handful of friends but seeds grow into trees eventually. I have spent more time with my oldest son in one year than I had in the whole 7 years since he left my home. We talk often and I have finally gotten to know him. Luv Ya "P". I have had the chance to see family that I hadn’t seen in almost 8 years. Thank God they are still alive!! I am alowed to do the dishes and the laundry without someone telling me I am doing it wrong. I can listen to my music without someone telling me "turn that shit off or go somewhere else to listen to it". Best of all, I have found my soulmate. I get a kiss and hug every morning and every night. That in itself is reason to give thanks. I get respect from him and he gets mine. I was not looking but love found me! My Angel sent from heaven. To hold me while I sleep and keep the tears where they belong. I am not able to find the words to tell him to let him know truely how blessed I am to have him. I have tried but words are not enough. I know now that all the dreams I had put away forever need to be taken out and dusted off and given a little push....together I believe no dream is to big to soar on the wind that is pushing us through time. I truely believe that together we will make our dreams a reality..........open the door and let the journey begin.................................

7:54 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

My life has gone F.U.B.A.R
Current mood: crushed
Category: Life

Well, my life has turned to hell real fast. On November 10th my mother in-law came to pick up the children for a weekend visit. She said she would bring them back at 6pm the next day. My husband has been living with them for 7 months. i get a call around 6:30 on Sunday they called to tell me that my husband has the boys and is refusing to bring them back. Holy Hell! I have no idea where my husband is living at this time. I have no idea where my little boys are at! I am all to pieces and am not sleeping or eating right. I can't stand this silence in my house. I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest! The boys don't have any of their favorite things right now! My husband is verbally, mentally, and sometimes physically abusive. He has studied for many years on how to hide. He wants to be rid of me in the worst kind of way. Please keep an eye on me. To all my close friends if anything should happen to me know this that it was probably by his hand. I am fearful for my safety as well as the safety of my boys. The police can't do anything because there has been no custody established yet. Nothing through the courts. No one kows where he is living so papers can't be served. Even if they serve papers through the lawyer I would still have to find my boys. My husbands name is Daniel Scott Dutton. If anyone knows anyway to help me please do. I am in utter turmoil and stress woried sick and missing them more than you can ever imagine.

12:16 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

See me morph into Shawn Michaels!

www.myheritage.com

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Check out this video: Gummy Bear Song

Check out this video: Gummy Bear Song



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1:31 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Lonely
Current mood: lonely
Category: Romance and Relationships

Well, it has been almost 5 months! I have found myself I think! I seem to like the me i have found. I am no longer with 7-11, i have a more mysterious and lucrative job that pays the bills very well! I have been able to get my own home with my boys. I am proud of how far i have come in such a shot time. I have been able to do it with very little finacial support from anyone including the father of my boys! All that have helped have been paid back in full! i have managed to stay out of debt for the most part. I have met the best man in the whole world, someone who loves the me i have found. My job puts me in contact with many who want to be a part of my life but I only want my soul mate. My house feels empty without him. There is something big missing in my life and i have no idea how to to fix it. The distance is killing me but i will hang in there. I am tough as nails and will make this happen as well. I am so happy to have met so many other great people along the way to where i am now, some have stayed some have moved on. To those who have been here from the begining....Thank you for being my rocks in the storm. If there is anything you need tell me, i love you guys i would gladly give you the shirt off my back or anything else you may need...i have been bleesed to have you! There is not much else going on here just noticed i haven't posted anything in a very very long time! I am no longer the girl i was when i first posted! I hope the change is for the better, if not, please as true friends, let me know!.......

1:38 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

5/14/07
Current mood: curious
Category: Life

Well, I am new to My Space so here is a little introduction:

     I came here because i have a friend with an account...I am a soon to be single mom of 3 boys. I work at 7-11 as an assistant manger. I work very odd hours so I never know when i will be on here! I often check my page for messages and always answer back. I have been seperated only 3 weeks so, my life is a bit upsidedown! I plan to take time to get to know myself again....a bit of intraspective! I am an itelect and love deep conversations and pondering ideas. Drop a line anytime! And hey, I look forward to meeting you!

                                   Beth 

12:40 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment