gawd....PAIN!!
Current mood: miserable

It's sore now, a very very visible sore at my right cheek and it's affecting my speech. I really dunno definition of extreme pain, but well...i think this refers to it. it can get my cheeks and and wake me up from bed once the painkillers stops working.

Earlier i can taste a bit of blood from the tooth, so it's either infection or the sore has blood coming out from the skin....

read about root canal treatment. I rather go for that, instead of this kind of pain torture everyday...makes me wanna die. cause'...
first it affects my looks
second it don't allow me to eat normally and painlessly, so it killed my appetite
third it don't let me sleep well
forth i don't wanna live on painkillers, it's EBIL!! EEEEEEEEEEBIL!!

(ToT)

*faints*

9:02 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

is eating
Current mood: lazy

finally...the painkiller is working and i can eat...just not using that tooth to chew, I'll be alright.

ah....back to my daily life talk.

CAF just ended and i discovered another side of my biter. He's a flirt. now, He has a girlfriend, who dunno about his past. He stole her first kiss. HAhahhHAHHAha...poor girl. oh well. None of my buisness and i won't go exposing him. ah, and he bite me on wednesday... well...his gf was same place with us only that she outside and we backstage.

HEY! I didn't intend for it. We're supposed to go out to get props so we went dressing room. (me get wallet, he get his reciept) then before going into the room he just pined me and bite me.

then when we go to train station, he told me that he forget his gf was there and damned, he couldn't recognized her until i talked about her. then we got the props and he decides to buy her flowers. Thank god Hotart is attentive to her or I'll kill him for cheating on her. I sorta tell him about the person i like (you-know-who) and he was damned shock. lols but oh well....that was a funny reaction and he said that I'm evil and a girl who makes guys cry.

well, that's good. If the guy cries, it means he cares about me.

when Yuki wants to be with a guy, she'll want to fight for dominant with him. If he lets Yuki be queen, it'll make Yuki really disappointed in him. I enjoy power struggle and it make Yuki wants to do more for him. a lil' arguement can strengthen realtionship and makes us know more about each other. Well, yet, Yuki is more of mental war than physical war.

we shall see Yuki prowless....lols

6:44 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

MY TOOTH....

went to the dentist yesterday, he says my tooth is hopeless and needs to do root canal.... T^T

pain...pain....pain....

i cannot chew, cannot talk or sing, can't even swallow my salivar because once i move my mouth/tongue, it hurts like hell. the pain is spreading from gums to half of my head and down my neck. It makes me wanna cry.

I'm hungry...i need food....no more liquid...T^T

4:30 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Happy Birthday Yomi, Jack, Shalihin and ME!!
Current mood: high

nyan nyan...finally 18...
adult!!

Can do alcohol abuse!!! lols
(jkjk)
but XDDDD

Happy birthday to all my July 14th comrade too!!
X3
and thanks for the birthday wishes i see early in the morning.
thanks! I LOVE YOU!!

hope i really have a happy birthday when i go home. ^-^"

5:09 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

nyann~
Current mood: hungry

I shall accept that the fact that I'm bite addicted.

i feel so much better after chatting with Robot about it. He gave me the weirdest advice anyone can give me. "GO AHEAD!! XDD" lols. He's a very good friend. Most of my friend probably heck care about what i want. Some even threatened to call my home to tell my parents of the bites. =_="

Well, now almost all the ruises are gone thanks to the medication "Zam-Buk", there's only one left and it's not blue black anymore but pinkish since i keep rubing the medication on it to spread the blood clot.

X3

now feel better...I'm hungry...

3:12 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Morbidity vs Mentality
Current mood: frustrated

He did it to me again...this time, not in front of a crowd.

Hotart was already giving me glances during start of event, i just pretended not to notice it, until he talked about it.

Then Me, kai and Hotart are assigned together arranging tables in the room for the Shizuoka people, when he just grabbed me. He lay by the corner of the wall and pull me close to him. Kai was watching, but he then turned away to help see if anyone's coming. I don't blame him, he is innocent idiot number 2.

So Hotart lifted my head and bite my neck. Once he did that, my body reacted unconciously and i pressed myself against him and clings onto him. i tilted my head so he can bite more. it was estatic, so i just lay quietly on his chest. He did it to me twice today. The second one was long (got my neck so badly bruised), but broken when the CCA leader, Wylin, came in... then he makes it clear to me after Wylin left, that he does have thoughts of raping me....T^T

After that he had to prepare his CAF stuffs and went to look for his props which are missing. Kai keeps helping me cover up excuses for me hearing a thick head band on my neck. I thank him for that.

Then Hotart came back at later of day and is pissy mood cause' of his props placement. So i didn't talk much, just gave him a pat on the back as his friend and left for home. Since I'm not allowed to participate the rehearsal of the catwalk.

It was so damned hot, so on the way home. At the bus ride, Yuki applied like 3 layers of powder foundation on my neck to cover the bruises...which doesn't really work well, but my hair's shadow covered it.

no one noticed much of the bruises since i kept looking at the floor and no tie hair. gyaa...

now i just want sleep and hopes the pain goes away tomorrow.....

I DESERVE TO DIE!!!!! STUPID FETISH!!! STUPID LOVE MARKS!!! *kicks*

1:43 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

raped...T^T
Current mood: confused

I can't even believe whatever that happened yesterday at school's true. I'm an idiot of a kind.

Today was photoshoot of cosplay catwalk.So i was helping out at the photoshoot taking care of the cosplayers' makeup and such. So as i was helping out, there was a bit of chaotic because people get high. So one of the VK cosplayer (My CCA Junior, Hotart) actually cornered me, but KC (who was dressed as Konata of Lucky star) kicked him away. But when KC left, he cornered me again and suggested that he should bite me. I didn't answer him and he bit me. HE BIT ME ON THE NECK!! WTH!!  he didn't bite down really hard so it's didn't hurt much. the bad thing about it, is actually, i did enjoyed it physically...T^T but mentally, it's torture!! HOW CAN I LET SOMEONE NOT OF MY LOVER BITE ME!! ToT

he's not only not my lover, he's younger than me (he's a year younger), i don't even know him well and i have NO special feelings for him at all....WHY DID I LET HIM BITE ME!! (T0T)

then he did it again and again. To the point that i have to grab onto him as he bites me...then he kept getting me pinned and bite me, each time more profound that the other until he eventually decide to leave a mark on me. well, not a mark, eventually a lot of bite marks and it scares me to go public with them so i kept trying to cover it with my hair. HOW AM I GONNA GO HOME LIKE THIS?!!

at the end of the day, after he took off the costume, he tried to get intimate with me. Still biting me, but but but....HE KISSED ME AT THE TRAIN STATION!! IN PUBLIC!! qr,ocimrjmoihauiweh

He tried to tongue me, so i pulled away from the kiss. Then he's like "she's shy" i didn't reply him, due to the fact that even though i enjoyed the biting, but i felt nothing....nothing at all when he kissed me. it's like just a physically touch.

He said he'll bite me again tomorrow cause' he wants to make me high...

One hand..i do agree of being addicted to getting bite, then again...very embarrassed  about this addiction.

Then after that, it took me 3 hours to get home. Took wrong bus, stop at wrong train station...cause all the havoc, but still managed to take the last bus home. I reached home at 1 a.m...crashed and slept at 2...woke up at 3.45am....and had been awake since then.

now just plainly regretful...save me from today later...T^T

later Shizuoka exchange students are coming...i hope he DOES NOT DO IT in front of them...Yuki now has her hairband on her neck to hide the love bites...but...*sigh*...I'm a idiot....

*dies*

12:10 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

WOOHOOOooooooooo
Current mood: bouncy

Cheers for cosfest!!

Yuki is success as N and getting all the BLOOD flyers. Thank you SG GPKISM Stteam Mem - Caggy and Doris and her friends! *bows* THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP!! Saw a flyer dropped on floor though, a bit sad of that.... gyaa...but i hope more ppl will get to know the DL bands better! BLOOD flyers are gone and i shall have to need more in NEXT anime con. So pls dun send me now, Kiwamu...I might destroy them before anime con. lols

did Caramelldansen at the booth, it was fun. I'll post link to the vid once they're done with it. N (me) and L (kai) are Caramelldansen partners!! XDDD And we took a lot of photos together. apparently N is clever than L, cause L can't even play Rubics Cube. lols I'm getting good at it though~ *cheers!!* Yuki draw N and a bunny on graffitti wall...i hope ppl notice...lols... Cooking Mama owned N as she adopted him and disowned him like about 10 times yesterday? lols...family violence as she wacked him with cooking pan. She wacked L too....Poor kai. And N ate his Mashmellow~ *noms noms* Me wants chocolate too...btu can't eat it with missing tooth filling. It will hurt like hell. We had lunch together in charater...it was so funny. N and L in Burger king and *nom*-ing in weird food. Yuki got heat stroke from cosplaying close to the end of the day and have to change back into her clothes...drank a lot of water but no help to the headache. So after i went home and reach about 12am, ate dinner of instant noodles and zzz at about 1.30am. lols

the area's much neater in this year, last year the area was chaos! "O_O" this year the booths were all at corner so a lot of walking space even though there were more booths

lols

I hearing ppl sing anime song in different Seiyuu voice~!! SO TALENTED!! XDDD and there was Sailor Moon cosers dancing!

Yuki uploaded Photos in the alb!! You can view to comment!! XDDD (the first few pictures are taken by Yuki, all others are stolen from sgcafe)

all in all...it was fun!! though i got heat stroke.

hahhaha

I hope the next cos event be as fun as this!!

I wanna try cosplay someone i know quite well...next year. (If i have time to make costume)
 lols ^w^

4:02 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Cosfest in a few hours....
Current mood: crazy

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
tired....but still gotta prepare for cosplay of N (Near Rivers - Death Note) and pack all the crap (including BLOOD/GPKISM Cds and flyers) I'm bringing to cosfest later.

why tired.

cause'...

I FINISHED ADRIAN'S PLUSHIE!! XDDD

It was kinda emotional, so i kept pausing. But I'm really glad i finished it. i used cotton for the stuffings, so it's actually quite light and soft. Adrian's clothes and structure is very much different from GPK, so it was harder to make him. But it turns out pretty cool. He wearing different clothes of different style, but same color scheme - crimson and black.

sleepy sleepy now.

today no TR. Which is very lucky for me cause' i had to go out soon. Well i seemed to be bringing some bad luck to ppl. lols once school started, no Bad Transitions. Once i got something on, no TR.

....

I NEED CAMERA!!

me wants take photo of plushies....

i wanna give it to my friends!

XDDD

*gots GP-Kicked cause' too noisy all of a sudden*

11:58 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Recently...
Current mood: bored

well...

hmm...now doing hw and typing at the same time. so I'll probably finish typing this an hr later...lols

now dl...Maya autodesk personal edition...really too bored...i need entertainment other than TR. TR too much rock at times, makes me very bored. And no meowing is bored.

Now i just need a dentist to fix the broken tooth filling...the bitter taste is absolutely DISGUSTING!! it has been in my mouth with that taste since yesterday afternoon. i dunno how i broke it either. i can't believe it was a straw that broke it. it seems the plastic is stronger than metal. I had that filling there fore more than 2 years already, and this happens. =_="

Bought Yazuka na Tsuki (Yazuka Moon) and finished reading it in one night. I can't believe it either, it was a pretty thick book. But oh well, it means my language wise, i didn't de-prove in anything. lols XDD

BOREDOM!!

Made Kenken Plushie ( let's name it GPK = Gothique Plushie Kenken... I'm lame...and unoriginal... >_< ) in one night. lols.
it stared at me the whole night while I'm zzz.
i wanna give it to kenken someday in person.

first, because it's a pretty fragile plushie (made with really soft material and the crown in made of soft black wires , so it might bend if i drop it) and
secondly, i still wanna meet the robot and pokes him!

i still have another Plushie to make. It is of Adrian (FOR). Well...This is a promise i made to them and glad that i did. Making the plushie is really satisfying. ^w^ I hope i finish making plushies in the weekend~

and new Maya assg: making Kenken model.
i'm gonna think of another dress for Kenken. His clothes is way to difficult to make it 3D and takes too long to get them right!

lols

...

My tongue hurts from being scratched by the hole of the broken tooth.

*sigh*

dentist....

i wanna go to dentist....

but me no money and my mom doesn't want to bring me to dentist.

ahhhh.........

i need anime...

horror...

manga...

porn....

....

anything!!

BOREDOM SUCKS!!

maya 86% dl and it's 10.51 am...

well...

zzz...

bored...

2:11 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

*sigh*
Current mood: sleepy

My mind keeps recalling back to what he said....
He promised to himeself "no more long distance relationship".

damned.

words...

"i heart u and wanna see you???"

"I think you're awesome and I wanna meet you bad"

" wish we could, but I swore to myself, no more long distance relationships"

"I'll be honest, I'm trying not to... I'm just not ready to be in love again"

"I hearts you"

"I MISS YOU"

"I wanna hug you!!!!!!!!"

"I wanna know the real you"

"I wanna know you more"

"please be close to me"

"I wanna make you happy"

"I know you more as my friend than an artist and thats the truth"

"I really like you alot... I just wish we didn't have to live worlds apart"

"you're so pretty"

"just wanted to chat with you..."

"you are too cute for words"

"I... really want to see you..."

"I wanna be with you..."

"I wished you lived here so I could love you"

"I dont know when I can see you in person....coz I'll be thinking about how nice it is to finally be with you"

and more potentially dangerous words.

*sigh*
what the hell is he thinking... =_="
he can "kill" me with these words.

i dunno. i hurts at times, even though they're heart-warming words.

but.....still....
i do still like being much of a lover to him.

11:53 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

HE’S ALIVE XDDDD
Current mood: cheerful

internet problem...

but YAY~!!! X3
It seems my praying pays off~

I'm a born worrier....gotta need to learn to stop this..
=_="

got fever cause' i calm down now....arggg...

zzz....
my head hurts...

11:48 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I think I’m gonna die
Current mood: depressed

6th day I've lost contact with him.

lost appetite, loss of sleep, depressed, cry...

yesterday
i watched news, got shocked unneccesary, check internet, improve geography...

i dunno why I'm doing it.
Why am i so concerned with his safety...
So worried that my head is blowing up.
I don't care if i break my own bones during a panic attack, or I cry till i go blind.
i just need to know he's fine.

I don't want to be abandoned or left behind.

I feels so useless being so far away from him.
clearly it seems that falling in love with someone can kill me. =_="

i feel dead without him.

11:17 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

loneliness...
Current mood: lonely

As usual, lovesick.

plus....I'm really sick...lols
fever due to lack of sleep and rest...

wonders If I'm going to miss him the whole summer...
*sigh*

WAHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *cries like little girl*

Still, thank you of friends for cheering me up!
^-^
Yuki ga genki ni naru ne~

Currently watching : Vol. 3-Gintama Release date: 2006-10-02

7:42 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

plainly obesession?
Current mood: miserable

i dunno i think I'm going to die or something.
i can't remember since how long i last heard his voice, I'm worried.

the promise he broke was to keep contact with me, he didn't.
again, i worry for his safety, whether he reached of his summer house, whether he is fine...etc... I'm very worried, though only just 1 day i lost contact with him.

I don't have his hp no. i need to call him though, to know he's fine...and most of all i want to hear his voice. (>///<)

I realise that i become weak when it comes to love. that's probably my weakness....lols I'm strong in work, school and everything, but when it comes to having a relationship...I get very emotional very easily. I miss him like there's no tomorrow, every hour, every minute, every second, every moment, my mind flashes of him and it kils me. I know very well that we're like half the globe apart, but...i can't help but wish that i can be right by his side.

That urge really really stresses me and gawd. this is the first time i feel so helpless against something like this.

=_="

SOMEBODY PLEASE KILL ME!! ( ToT )

12:56 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment