When my mind gets cloudy, I look at your picture and ask for your advise. But how do I really know you hear me?
When do these reminders stop sinking my heart? When random things keep reminding me of you every freakin day, how do I heal? The songs you used to enjoy, the things that made you smile, the look you had on your face looking out the window, the peace of mind you gave me, the stupid chopsticks you loved using.....
The saying " Time will mend your broken heart" does not seem to apply to me. Maybe I'll never heal and I just have to learn to live with it.
It's the first father's day without you. Little did I know that the card I wrote you last year was going to be the last one you hold in your hand.
He is gone. I can't get him back. My heart is bleeding. I don't know why I am writing . I know it is not going to stop my pain. Or will it someday...?
Update: 5/30/08 Recent Interview
Current mood: lonely
How's everyone? In the past few months I was surrounded by my family 24/7 in Japan, I am back to LA and now my man is out of town so I am home alone in silence. As pathetic as it may sound, I have been talking to my cat and working out at the gym like a crazy woman to substitute love-makin. hahahah. Anyway here is the interview I recently have done with RAFU. RAFU is a lifestyle online magazine and the print version of their newspaper has stood as one of America's leading ethnic publications. Give them props, my friends! The interview was done on IM. My words are so colloquial I am embarrased and wow, I guess we discussed forever. Let's see who can read it till the end. lol. Great works, Antonio!
How are u all? I know I suck. I have been lagging on communicating with my friends here on myspace.
Hope all my friends here have been doing well. It is the beautiful cherry blossom season in Japan right now and I miss my family very much. But I am focusing on the life here in the US for now.
To give u some updates, I will be working in Vegas for ISC west show at the Venetian Hotel Convention center from 4/3 to 4th with my girl Stephanie. If you happen to be in Vegas, come to Mitsubishi booth and join us rock the event. It is not a car show. Different way to start the season and I am excited.
Other updates are that we have finished the photoshoot for the new 2008 Falken Tire poster the other day. The poster will be released and given away at Formula D Round 1 in Long Beach, CA on 4/12. Can’t wait to see u all soon at the events!
I just shot with Car and Audio Magazine with my Pepsi pink Eclipse. I will post the updates and some behind the scene shots soon.
Till then, be good:)
love,-e (bored and lonely by myself in a hotel room........ )
Minna Genki~~!!? How's everyone out here in the US? I am finally back to Cali and super psyched to see the blue sky.
I had such good times with my family in Japan. It is always great to have quality time with who you love the most in the whole world. It brings me smile like no other. It grounds me and humbles me. I cherish every moment to be with them.
Last year was the saddest year for my family with 3 devastating losses but we got to get passed the hardest part and we were able to share the quiet New Years' together.
Here are some recaps to show you how beautiful the land of the rising sun is. It is still very cold out there. Sorry I have been out of touch but I am back in action again now.
Happy valentine's, my friends and I look forward to seeing you all soon!! Smoooches,-e
I had so much fun on the DUB tour thanks to my ultimate sponsor Pepsi. I have truly become a family with all my road dawgs and it is sad to say that the 2007 tour is over.
One of my assignments with Pepsi is to write a blog from every city after each show.
It is a little tricky to find my Pepsi blog page. Click on The Pepsi site, go to "PEPSI CELEBS" to find me and you can see my blog, pictures and videos to see what went down behind the scenes throughout the year.
Here is the video that Yahoo and Pepsi collaborated on to make as an annual tradition at the DUB show. Just lookin out for my DUB boyz. You can find me grooving with Llyod. Enjoy.
Enter the bedroom of us as we get fancied up for our amazing evening at the hottest party of the summer. Watch the girls as their hair gets done, shoes get swapped, thongs get exposed, and miniskirts fly off (in favor of other miniskirts).lol. Sorry it is just a teaser but check it out. You know the girls take forever getting ready for a big date. hahaha. It was a fun night out in NYC.
Have you guys already got Super Street September Issue? Yes I am on the cover along with my 2 beautiful blonds... Courtney and Stina...and a man on the ground named Carter. hahaha We got to actually learn how to drift from the pro drivers. Thanks to Ross for being such an awesome instructor, I finally got to experience what I had been dying to try.. it was almost a comedy. Here is a teaser video but to really know what went down, check out the magazine on stands now.
OK Thanks for reminding me about Octane TV. They documented us throughout the day in a heat carrying those big-ol equipments. great works, guys! Oh boy, here we go.
3weeks ago my dog passed away. I spent every part of my past 12 years with him. He was my son and my best friend who kept me sane all these years.
I can't find anything to make me feel better. Seems like I am not allowed to heal because there is always a reminder. I still feel him, hear him, and smell him all around the house. Every dog I see out there, I think of him more. If only I could one more time walk him in the park, pet his soft hair and give him tons of snacks he never got to indulge because of his diabetes.
The sorrow, the fear, the guilt, the regret, the isolation, the helplessness.... Is this the pain you have to go through when you lose someone you love? In a way I should feel I have been fortunate to never have to experience this deep sense of grief before but it scares me to imagine how many times in my lifetime that I have to feel these terrible things from here on. It is definitely a wake up call for me to confront feelings and fears about the inevitability of human nature. I didn't see the pictures of him for a while. I didn't even talk about him for a while. I didn't want to accept his death, nonetheless this fragile mortality of life in general.
Last December my dad was sent to the hospital. He has been diagnosed with a rare fatal disease that's not curable. These past months have been the most emotionally challenging moments of my life. I can't start to imagine what's in store for me to partake during the next chapter of my journey. I am not even confident if I have strength to handle more crises.
I started rereading this book that I once read called "The Wheel Of Life" by Elizabeth Kubler Ross. There it says "God granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"
The destiny is not something we control but we CAN control how we spend our precious time. Life is too precious to stay sad. I have to admit that I am still a wreck,but today I decided to face my feeling by writing this blog. By doing so, I am hoping I will be able to hop a step further and start living fully and honestly within my self and with the people I love.
How do these birds know when to fly to the sun? Who tell them the seasons? How do we, humans, know when it is time to move on? How do we know when to go? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within, if only we would listen to it, that tell us so certainly when to go forth into the unknown.
Pepsi streetmotion's website is completely new and upgraded. I dig it. Click on Pepsi Website , go to "PEPSI CELEBS". There you will see all my new pictures, videos and even blogs. Yes. One of my assigments this year is write a blog after every show. aaaggh. A serious test of my writing skill. They have cut a clip from the photoshoot day. Check it. XOXO, -e
Video Clip from Global Tuning Awards on FOX Sports
i wrote a photo blog about this day a while back. it was such a great day and i was super ecstatic about this nomination. here is a clip from the show. yes i am stuttering and my eyes are swimming. at that time i thought i was pronouncing the words so smooth but when i see the footage, i am so embarrased i want to run to a corner. i wish i can speak like the host. he's so natural..damn it Tanner! it's not easy being japanese and speak english like it's my mother tongue. everyday i feel like i am in a tougue twister challenge that i can never win. aagghh! but that's what makes life more interesting i guess.
Hey all my friends here on myspace, again my apologies for not being so active here for the past 3 months.. I was in Japan for a while to get back to my roots, be myself and with my family. Anyways, I am back here in the US for just a quick second to do some work. I will try and get back on myspace as much as I can. I really suck at replying to the messages but please don't take it personal. I want you all to know that I still read all of your emails and appreciate all the supports. MUCH LOVE. ARIGATO!
Here is my 2007 tour schedule that I know for now. There you have it. Come back cuz I will keep updating this schedules as I find out about my gigs. I hope to see many of you in person somewhere this year.
3/3 Appearance @ Space 550, San Francisco
3/9 Pepsi Poster Shoot, Los Angeles
3/11 Super Street Photo shoot, Los Angeles
3/12 Day: Falken Tire Open House Day Appearance, Fontana CA
Night:A Podcast Hosting(TBA) Filming, Los Angeles, CA
3/13 Falken Tire Poster Shoot, TBD
3/14 Falken Tire Poster Shoot, TBD
3/16 Girl Friends' Birthday @Club Highlands, Hollywood
3/18 DUB Show, Pepsi Booth, Los Angeles Convention Center
3/19~4/3 Japan
4/4 Falken Tire Motor Sports Poster Shoot, Fontana, CA
4/7 Formula D, Falken Tire, Long beach CA
4/8 Photoshoot, DownTown LA
4/16 Casting, Los Angeles, CA
4/17 Studio Shoot , Los Angeles, CA
4/21 HIN, Falken Tire Booth,Washington DC
4/26 Movie Promo, @ Club Social Hollywood, CA
4/29 DUB Show, Pepsi Booth, Phoenix AZ
5/4-5 D1GP, Falken Tire, English Town, NJ
5/6 DUB Show, Pepsi Booth, Memphis TN
5/11-12 Formula D, Falken Tire, Atlanta GA
5/13 DUB Show, Pepsi Booth, Dallas TX
5/20 DUB Show, Pepsi Booth, Atlanta GA
5/21~31 Japan
6/2 Formula D, Falken Tire, Summit Point WV
6/3 DUB Show, Pepsi Booth, Charlotte NC
6/9 HIN, Falken Tire Booth, Dallas TX
6/10 Super Street Magazine/ Octane TV shoot, Rosamond, CA
6/11 Super Street Cover shoot, Costa Mesa,CA
6/14 Echo Shoot, Los Angeles, CA
6/15 DVD shoot, Los Angleles, CA
6/17 DUB Show, Pepsi Booth, Miami FL
6/19 Clothing Line Photoshoot, Los Angleles, CA
6/24 DUB Show, Pepsi Booth, Atlantic City NJ
7/1 DUB Show, Pepsi Booth,Chicago IL
7/6 Icon Fashion Show, Level 3, Hollywood
7/15 DUB Show, Pepsi Booth, Boston MA
7/16~8/3 Japan
8/5 DUB Show, Pepsi Booth, Detroit, MI
8/11 Formula D, Falken Tire,Sonoma CA
8/16 DVD shoot, NY
8/18 Show Off Nisei Week, Falken Tire, Los Angeles CA
8/19 DUB Show, Pepsi Booth, Minneapolis MN
8/25-26 Streetcar ShowOff, Falken Tire Honolulu, HI
As you may have seen the teaser on one of my slideshows, here are the videoclips from the DUB 2006 Tour Season Finale. Fianally, 2006 is coming to a close. It was such a crazy year for me. I am reliefed it's over but bittersweet to kiss it good-bye...Thank you for sharing lots of thoughts and good times with me here on myspace. Hopefully 2007 will be an even more exciting year for all of us. Ofcourse I hope I will get to see more of you guys in person next year in your city. Check out the videos. What do you think of it? You should have been there with me at the show!
Merry Christmas to you all. I did a Holiday interview with Scott from IGN. He took some pictures of me with my Rudolph of the day Hello-Kitty. haha. Check it out, folks. May your holidays be happy and fun.... with all my love from me! love,-e Read Eri's IGN Interview
It's a Friday night and while you all are partying out there, I am home writing a blog about my cyber club munching on my fried rice.. wait I am not a nerd.. maybe I am.hahaha Anyways how was ur Thanksgivings? I ate so much my tummy needs some serious cardio and ab works... But then again, it's a holiday season so a part of me says ..who cares? A good friend of mine on myspace has made a club for me recently. I am super flattered and excited. I'm still figuring out how to participate on this thing but if you have a chance, take a look at it and join the community.. I will try and be on it as much as I can. If you have any suggestions or requests, post it here and I will try and make it happen.
Click my pic below to join the club
Carlo also made some artworks here and I would appreciate it if you could make use of them and show me some love and support.
and Yes, I have updated some pix on my slideshow. Hope you like it and keep coming back cuz I still have more updates for the rest of the year. Happy Holidays, my friends!Muaz, -e
lonely
