Well Hello Strangers.
Category: Blogging

Did you miss me?

Finally, I have the internet back on. YIPPEE!!! We have finally moved and we are all settled. Leo is still as gorgeous as ever.

I hope everyone is doing well and hopefully I'll catch up with everyone. Janine, Scilla and Eulalie please will you messgage me your address so I can send you all something.

I'm off to read the blogs.

5:00 AM - 12 Comments - 20 Kudos - Add Comment

Introducing.
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Life

I meant to post this blog a few weeks ago, better late than never, so they say.

A few weeks ago my Sister had a baby girl, weighing  8lb 15oz (ouch!) I forgot how cute little babies are with their tiny hands and gorgeous little clothes. Leoni must like her as she's started asking for a baby Brother and baby Sister as opposed to a baby eagle. Here she is,

Baby Maddison.


Leo and Baby Maddison.


We are hoping to move house soon, hopefully before Christmas. Other than that things are good, I'm a little bit older and a little bit fatter since my last blog. I really must stick to a diet.

My Daughter has started going to bed earlier so I've been reading a lot more, my local library and local charity shop is pretty good so if anyone knows of any good books let me know.

I hope everyone one is well, and I'll be playing blog catch up today.

Currently reading : The Last Empress By Anchee Min Release date: 21 March, 2007

1:49 AM - 19 Comments - 32 Kudos - Add Comment

Coincidence?
Category: Automotive

Yesterday was quite warm (considering it's the U.K.) I went for a walk with the significant other and didn't wear a coat, let me tell you I will not make the same mistake again. No it didn't rain and a bird did not shit on my t-shirt. An old friend of my man's asked if I was pregnant again in a rather loud voice, in the middle of the street- he wasnt joking, I was mortified! He caught me totally off-guard and I couldn't make a witty reply about his weight and appearence (fat and bald), I just stuck my middle finger up at everyone who laughing and went in doors for a good sulk and king-size Mars bar.

Then to rub salt in the fries, this landed on my doorstep this morning.

Dear Miss Fat-arse (thats not what it said but it may as well have done)

 You have been selected by our computer to enter our competition, you could be in with a chance of winning the fantastic prize overleaf. Don't delay enter today.

What was the fantastic prize? A mobility scooter! You know, those things that fat people ride to get from A to B. I wish I was making it up.

It's diet time!

11:50 AM - 36 Comments - 44 Kudos - Add Comment

They!
Category: Blogging

I witnessed the murder of my family . I wanted to help but I just stood there unable to run, unable to move

They killed Mother first. They chopped off all her limbs and then began hacking at her torso. They laughed as they walked towards my brother and began hacking away, taking out whole chunks of him with each blow. When they finished their frenzied attack they kicked him hard and he fell to the ground with a dull thud. I knew he wasn't going to get back up. They put the corpses into the back of their truck and left.

I just stood there looking at where my Mother and Brother had been brutally murdered, unable to defend themselves.

I cried.

One day they will come back for me, I'm unable to run away so I'll just have to stay here and wait for the day that I will meet the same fate. I wish I wasn't a tree!

Currently reading : The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time By Mark Haddon Release date: 01 April, 2004

3:11 AM - 24 Comments - 50 Kudos - Add Comment

Not My Dream Job
Category: Blogging

Why do we tell our kids they can be anything they want to be when they grow up? As long as you stick in at school, you can have any career you want.

I wanted to be a teacher, I paid attention at school, went to college but developed a condition called lazyitus and never got round to applying to Uni'. Not the be all and end all. I'm flexible. I could be a teaching assistant, or even better, work in day care. I don't know what planet I was on when I had that bright idea.

I got my "dream job" Those of you with children will know how much one baby can cry, how much one baby can poop, how many tantrums a kid can have, how often you have to feed them. Multiply that by forty and you have my "dream job". Divide your hourly rate by four and that's most likely what I get paid – Per year.

It's a noisy job, and not for the faint hearted. I can clean my own baby's bum, no problem, the smell doesn't bother me, but when its another babies, it makes me baulk. I constantly had sore ribs from all the dry heaving. I guess it like how your own gas doesn't smell so bad, but when its someone else, its like breathing in raw sewage. I have cleaned enough arses to last me a lifetime, and the next one.

I always smelt like children. Not the cute babies head smell. I smelt like poop, puke, dried dribble and snot, did I mention poop? And that was on a good day. Some days I'd smell like blood too. Toddlers are not good at looking where they going, and when there is more than one in a room, they tend to get hyper and run around like maniacs and crack their heads on hard surfaces.

The worse thing about being in day care is people automatically assume you must love kids so much, that you wont mind looking after their brood, on your only day off and for free. No thanks! Do I look Mary Poppins?

Maybe I should have read the job description. The part where is says six pairs of arms, patience of a saint, no sense of smell and eyes in the back of your head is a must, will have made me realise It wasn't my "dream job"

I also had a lucky escape in not becoming a teacher. The kids are older, hence have hormones, smell worse than babies, turn into smart arses, play nasty pranks and nowadays hit you.

Don't get the wrong impression though, I loved my job. Kids are funny! My best memory was when a little boy came in, and said Daddy had left home because Mummy found him in bed with Daisy. Not so unusual, except Daisy was the families Dog. 

Currently reading : How to Talk to a Widower By Jonathan Tropper Release date: 2007

7:42 AM - 20 Comments - 40 Kudos - Add Comment

Passing Time.
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

I'd love to say that the reason I have not blogged in a while is because loads of interesting things have been happening in my life, but that would be a lie, so anyway this is what I've been doing the last few weeks.

TEARS AND TANTRUMS.

My Daughters tantrum's are getting worse, louder and longer. How I am still sane I do not know. The moment anyone in the house tries to do anything that does not invovle her all breaks loose. If she does not want to do something she makes sure everyone knows about it. She recently had a screaming fit in the Supermarket car-park which resulted in me picking her up and bundling her into the car.(While strangers glared at me as though I was a kidnapper!) It took two fully grown adults to strap her into her seat.

BOOKS.

I've been reading a lot latley, I got all excited a few days ago when my myspace friend Janine sent me some books and chocolate all the way from South Africa. I have just finished Angels by Marion Keyes and it was brilliant. I was hooked from beginning to end, Thanks Janine, and I hope my parcel reaches you soon.

DIETS

I'm trying to lose a few pounds, I want to lose about 10-14 pounds, so far its not going to good, I'm sure I have put weight on instead of losing it. Oh Well!! I guess I'll just stick with it.

FILMS.

I'll make it short and sweet.

The Messengers - A scary film with lots of jumpy bits. The twist was a bit predictable. I slept with the lights on after watching this.

A Night At The Museum - A cheesy yet funny film.

Hot Fuzz - Quite funny considering its British, I know us lot are not famous for our sense of humour.

The Simpsons - Dissappointing, nowhere near as funny as I thought it would be.

This Is England. - Serious And Funny. One of the best films I've seen in a long time.

Severance - A refreshing change to see adult's getting cut to bits in Horror instead of stupid good looking attractive teenagers. It was funny too.

Hostel 2 - The same as Hostel 1.

Boo - A complete waste of time.

Hmm, well that's about it. Hope you all enjoy the rest of the week.

6:49 AM - 23 Comments - 40 Kudos - Add Comment

Geordie
Category: Travel and Places

Depending on which part of the U.K you come from, you can often find yourself grouped into a certain stereotypical group. You have the Cockneys (London) Brummies (Birmingham) and Scousers (Liverpool) and Machems (Sunderland).The list goes on. Seeing as I come from near Newcastle I'm often classed as Geordie.

There are many explanations as to where to term Geordie originated and to be honest they are all as boring as each other but if your are interested you can read about it here.

Geordies are commonly viewed as hard and tough, take a walk round the city centre on a weekend in winter and you'll see the evidence. The women will be walking from bar to bar in the most skimpiest of clothes and no coat. It's common knowledge that the Geordie's have a taste for violence so don't be suprised if you see a load of scuffles breaking out in the street. The drink of choice is Newcastle Brown Ale.



Geordies love football and obviously follow Newcastle United.

The atmosphere can be more than a little frosty when the team has to play another North East town such as Sunderland. I would not be suprised if friendships have been broken or even lives lost on such occasions.



The best thing about the Geordie's though is the way they talk, a Geordie with a really broad accent can often be mistaken as a Scot. A lot poeple have trouble deciphering the broad Geordie, and many see Geordie as not just a dialect but a language of its own. Decide for yourself, and don't forget to add "man" at the end of every sentance you speak.

Pretty Girl = Bonny Lass
Boy = Lad
Come On = Howay
Do you know what I mean = Ye knaa what ah mean leik.
Good = Canny
Yes = Aye
You Know = Ye naa
Toilet = Nettie
I'm going to the pub = Eeeh man, ahm gannin te the booza.
Children = Bairns
I dont know = I divvent naa
You = yee
Going = gannin

I'm quite shocked at how much of that slang I hear myself using everday, Im always telling my daughter to gan canny (be careful) and I must say howay a lot as my daughter says it all the time when she wants me to follow her.

A Geordie Taxi.

If you fancy leaving your comment in Geordie go here to translate it from English to Geordie. Seeya, gan canney

5:47 AM - 51 Comments - 44 Kudos - Add Comment

Hot Stuff.
Category: Food and Restaurants

Each morning I have to have at least three cups of coffee ( along with the same amount of ciggarettes) before I can even begin to function half normal. I make my coffee with a kettle, I bought one of those machine thingys and to be honest, I find it much easier and quicker to use the kettle, plus those machine things make my coffee too strong. I like it weak with plenty of milk or not too much coffee.

When I was younger I used to have three sugars in it too but now I find the thought of drinking sweet coffee disgusting. After the three cups of coffee I drink gallons of tea.

Since I am female I make most of the hot drinks in this household and everytime you can guarentee someone (usually my boyfriend) will complain that I have not made it right. My man has this thing where I have to put the milk in first,  he even claims he can taste the difference. I think he's just saying that as he knows I put the milk in second.

I like to put the milk in second as I can control how strong it turns out, if you put the milk in first and its too milky, you have no choice but to put another tea bag in the cup, and to be honest, its just too much effort. Plus my mum always says its a known fact that only common people put the milk in first.

Currently reading : Hunting Unicorns: A Novel By Bella Pollen Release date: 10 May, 2005

1:56 AM - 39 Comments - 41 Kudos - Add Comment

There Is An Art To
Category: Life

There is an art to managing the laundry so your child has co-ordinated clothes and matching P.J's to wear each day.

There is an art to getting your child washed, fed and dressed so you can leave the house at the planned time.

There is an art to strapping your child in the car seat without using up all your energy for the day.

There is an art to NOT singing "wheels on the bus" so loud that the whole supermarket can hear you.

There is an art to avoiding the full scale Hitler tantrum at the checkout when you refuse to buy the sweets/candy. ( Which are nicely placed within reach of small hands)

There is an art to disciplining your child in public without someone becoming alarmed enough to call social services.

There is an art to eating lunch without your child's bad habits putting other diners off their food and also eating yours while it still tepid.

There is an art to changing a soiled nappy/diaper without ending up with more poop on your clothes than what was originally in the nappy diaper.

There is an art to making important phone calls without being distracted by Barney bouncing around like a tit on the T.V

There is an art to making your child use the lovely paints on the paper and not on themselves or furniture.

There is an art to learning your child that the tropical fish in the tank do not like to eat sausages, chocolate or cheese.

There is an art to teaching your child that the oven becomes hot and is not to be touched.

There is an art to getting your child to poop on the potty instead of in a corner somewhere.

There is an art to grabbing five minutes to use the potty yourself.

There is an art to bathing your child without them thrashing around like a fish out of water.

There is an art to convincing your child to sleep when they are tired.

There is an art to grabbing some special Mummy and Daddy time followed by a full nights sleep.

After two and a half years of practice I am fully competant in NONE!

Currently reading : The Timewaster Letters By Robin Cooper Release date: 22 September, 2005

1:56 AM - 30 Comments - 54 Kudos - Add Comment

Finally.............. A Photoblog.
Category: Art and Photography

It seems as though my blog is working properly now! Thank you to everyone who commented on the double posting last time, each time I tried to veiw it I got the dreaded  "unexpected error" message.
Today the the weather looked nice so we decided to go for a walk, sadly it didn't last and the heavens decided to open and we all got soaked. I managed to get some pictures before the down-pour so. I also took a few of my Daughter in her party dress a few weeks ago. There are also a few I took while I was at Durham. Here goes.

The following were taken today.

That's only half of what I took.

5:51 AM - 41 Comments - 61 Kudos - Add Comment

A Few Short Blogs In One
Category: MySpace

Thank you for all the messages from people wondering I'm still alive. I am alive and well. I'm going to start working my way through the blog suggestions you all sent me. This is all coming from the top of my head so please forgive any spelling and grammar mistakes.

I was asked to talk about cooking.  In short I'm rubbish at it. I can't even boil water without burning it. Believe me I have done that before. I once tried to fry an egg, I must have had the heat to high or something because I peeped into the pan to fish out a piece of shell the whole bloody thing went up in my face, I didnt know at the time that you're supposed to put a wet towel over the flames so I thought it was a good idea to put it under the tap and turn it on. HA! I will not be doing that again in a hurry, it took weeks for my eyebrows to grow back. My culinary skills are improving in the sense I can cook to survive but dinner parties are out of the question.

I had all the family over for christmas lunch last year, I dont know how these top chefs manage to make the task look like plain sailing, and still look sexy at the end of it all. My timing was all off, some of the veg were raw while others were cremated. I sat down to lunch looking like I had beed dragged through a hedge backwards, my family were on thier best behaviour and wolfed the lot down will forcing themselves to say "ooh delicious" How kind of them.

If anyone has any simple recipies then feel free to share.

I tried my hand at a roast dinner a few weeks and the results were much better. In fact it was bloody lovely.

Janine gave me a prediciment:

If my family turned up at my house and I was done up the nines while the place was like a bombsite they would think I was on drugs, I would rather have a clean and tidy house and still be in my pj's , then I could give the excuse that im not dressed because I have been busy cleaning. In reality I would be in my pjs and my house would still be a tip.

Noman asked me to blog about the British summer and the sights and smells. This year has to be the worse British Summer ever. Its been raining for weeks and many places are flooded, the sun is shining today but I wont get my hopes that it will be a nice day, I did that yesterday and went for a walk and got soaked. The rain has killed my Daughter's sunflowers, I think they just got sick of drinking rain and decided to die. Poor things!

Currently reading : Intimate Strangers By Juliette Mead Release date: October, 1996

1:28 AM - 7 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

A Few Short Blogs In One
Category: MySpace

Thank you for all the messages from people wondering I'm still alive. I am alive and well. I'm going to start working my way through the blog suggestions you all sent me. This is all coming from the top of my head so please forgive any spelling and grammar mistakes.

I was asked to talk about cooking.  In short I'm rubbish at it. I can't even boil water without burning it. Believe me I have done that before. I once tried to fry an egg, I must have had the heat to high or something because I peeped into the pan to fish out a piece of shell the whole bloody thing went up in my face, I didnt know at the time that you're supposed to put a wet towel over the flames so I thought it was a good idea to put it under the tap and turn it on. HA! I will not be doing that again in a hurry, it took weeks for my eyebrows to grow back. My culinary skills are improving in the sense I can cook to survive but dinner parties are out of the question.

I had all the family over for christmas lunch last year, I dont know how these top chefs manage to make the task look like plain sailing, and still look sexy at the end of it all. My timing was all off, some of the veg were raw while others were cremated. I sat down to lunch looking like I had beed dragged through a hedge backwards, my family were on thier best behaviour and wolfed the lot down will forcing themselves to say "ooh delicious" How kind of them.

If anyone has any simple recipies then feel free to share.

I tried my hand at a roast dinner a few weeks and the results were much better. In fact it was bloody lovely.

Janine gave me a prediciment:

If my family turned up at my house and I was done up the nines while the place was like a bombsite they would think I was on drugs, I would rather have a clean and tidy house and still be in my pj's , then I could give the excuse that im not dressed because I have been busy cleaning. In reality I would be in my pjs and my house would still be a tip.

Noman asked me to blog about the British summer and the sights and smells. This year has to be the worse British Summer ever. Its been raining for weeks and many places are flooded, the sun is shining today but I wont get my hopes that it will be a nice day, I did that yesterday and went for a walk and got soaked. The rain has killed my Daughter's sunflowers, I think they just got sick of drinking rain and decided to die. Poor things!

Currently reading : Intimate Strangers By Juliette Mead Release date: October, 1996

1:28 AM - 12 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

Something For The Weekend
Category: Writing and Poetry

She sits alone with her head in her hands.
Trying to see where it all went wrong.
None of this was in her plans.
She knows she needs to be strong.

She can't pinpoint when she became so weak.
As the years passed by she lost herself.
Now each day of her life is dark and bleak.
Her husband changed into someone else.

He cut her off from family and friends.
He chose the clothes she wore.
With him, all her time she'd spend.
For the fear of being called a whore.

His innocent flirting evolved into cheating.
He played silly games with her mind.
The one off slap is now regular beatings
To the house she became confined.

She tried her best to make things right.
Nothing seemed to work.
Whatever she did would turn into a fight.
And he would go beserk.

She thought it would change when he'd heard her news.
That this would make him pleased.
It made him angry and he hit the booze.
He said she was a disease.

A punch in the face he thought was the cure.
This was the final straw.
At that precise moment she was finally sure.
She couldn't take anymore.

Sunglasses cover the bruise on her face.
For a moment she looks at her tummy.
She leaves that house for a better place.
She's going to be a good Mummy.

1:09 AM - 23 Comments - 48 Kudos - Add Comment

Stolen From The Bulletins.....
Category: Quiz/Survey

I noticed this survey in the bulletins posted by Xanaboobs, it's not one of those "Have you had sex with your number four?" usual types, so I thought I would post it here. It may be long but I figure it will be the only blog I post for a while so I'm gonna make up for it.

What's one thing that's heavily weighing on your mind?

I thrive on worry, the worst feeling is worrying about having nothing to worry about, in my opinion it means everything is going well and that something bad is about to happen, something bad that I don't want to worry about. Ok that probably makes me sound like I should be sectioned, but I know what I mean.

I worry about things I have no control over, these are the things I'm currently worrying about:

My boyfriend while he's away. I fear he will have an accident.

My sister and how she will cope with giving birth and a new baby.

How I am going to get out of debt.

My house setting on fire in the middle of the night - this one has been bad the last few nights, I have laid awake imagining I can smell smoke.

The little girl who was abducted in Portugal, I fear she is dead and something dreadful has happened to her.

Whats one thing you've learned from a good friendship gone bad?

This is a tough one, I have not really had a friendship gone bad, it's more a case of growing apart, when I was younger I could not imagine being without my two best friends, and we always said we would be friends forever, but then things change.  I would say I have learned that if your friends are important to  you then you should make an effort to keep in touch with other. I can't even say I miss my friends as I have nothing in common with them anymore.

What's one thing you've learned lately from love?

Trust is very important, in the early days I had a big problem trusting my boyfriend, he gave me no reason to doubt him, yet I still accused him of cheating. I was a bitch back then, why he never scarpered then I don't know. I would not have put up with me. These days I trust him completley. I know he would never cheat (because I have made it very clear I will chop his penis off and make hime eat it).

Is there anyone special in your life at the moment?:

What's a happy time you've had in the past week?

Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again?:

Who do you like to spend your nights with?

11:36 PM - 28 Comments - 34 Kudos - Add Comment

Irritatingly Annoying.
Category: Life

One of my friends asked me to write about my pet peeves. We all have them so feel free to add whatever gets on your nerves. Here goes:

I hate to see people driving while talking on their mobile phone and also with their heads turned back shouting at their unruly kids. I once saw a man driving a big white van while reading something , at first I thought it was a map, on closer inspection it was a novel. I was speechless.

I hate the way movies portray sex these days. Am I the only person who thinks movies are turning into mini porn films? Come to think of it, TV is guilty of it too. I could be watching a really good film and then the makers have to go and ruin it by showing twenty minutes of a couple going at it hell for leather. Please don't get me wrong, I am not a prude, but if I wanted to watch that kind of thing, I would go to a specialist store.

I hate it when my Daughter has a tantrum in a public place. People either look at you like you should be doing something to stop the behaviour or they give you that dissapproving look as if you are abusing your child. Sometimes I feel like handing my Daughter over to them so I can laugh at how they cope.

I hate to hear all the youngsters go on about how much alcohol they can drink in the shortest time without puking. I am ashamed to admit how much drink before I throw up. (One glass of wine )

I hate it when my Dad still tries to tell me what to do or how to bring up my Daughter. I am 27, I think I am big enough to be awake past nine pm and make my own mistakes.

I hate to see small girls (I'm talking six to ten year olds) dressed as if they are a hooker, with mini skirts and a face full of make-up. I have been horrified at some of the sights I have seen. I can never understand why the parents let their daughters out dressed like that. I also hate to see small children hanging around alcohol shops begging people to go in and buy their fags and booze. I hate it even more when I see a fully grown adult oblige.

I hate standing in dog shit, especially when it is in the middle of the path. If your dog shits you should pick it up. I also hate it when people let their dogs off the leash in parks where children are playing. Especially the mean nasty ones. I have a thing about dogs, in particular the big ones and I wont got to a park where a dog is off the lead, I get nervous butterflies if the owner looks like someone who can't control himself let alone a dog.

I cant help but judge when I see an immacuatley dressed woman with a child who looks like they are ferral. I wonder if the child is wearing that too small jumper with holes in because Mummy wanted a new pair of Gucci jeans.

I hate barefeet and wiggly toes. Eugh Eugh Eugh.

I hate it when ex smokers do that pretend cough whenever someone is smoking within a twenty mile radius. I also hate it when ex fat people whinge about fat folk.

I hate not being able to comment on the immigration situation in the UK without being called racist. Racist is one thing I am not, I should be able to have an opinion like everyone else.

People who say they are athiest but celebrate Christmas and Easter and other gift recieving events.

I hate to hear people swear and curse in public, especially the f**k and c**t words. It sounds horrible. I am terrible for swearing but I dont do it front of old folk or children. Nobody has any manners these days.

I also hate know-it-all smart arses. The truth is they know nothing.

I could go on forever but you may get the impression I am grumpy

1:05 AM - 40 Comments - 65 Kudos - Add Comment