why oh why...
Current mood: confused

am i always on the show what not to wear?  i'm not the person on the show, but i'm always the epitome of what the person should not be.

damnit.

Currently listening : Pit of Fashion By Peter Barshay Release date: 2000-09-26

4:01 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

to all the boys i’ve loveloveloved before...
Current mood: determined

baby...i've been doing some thinkin. about me...about you, us...our future together. we've been together for a long time now and i honestly thought that we'd be together forever. wow. i never thought i'd actually be saying this but, i just don't think this is going to work out.

when we met, there was this instant connection between us. it seemed like we were made for each other. we started things slow, getting together every once in a while, just feeling each other out, how we react to one another. but as the days passed, we found ourselves spending more and more time together. we were falling for each other and we were falling fast. that first night we spent together was amazing. we danced under the stars and held each other thru the night. we knew this was it, this was what we were looking for. i don't know what it was but from that moment forward, we were inseparable. we'd get together after work and go over the day's events, each day falling deeper and deeper into this little love affair of ours.

i felt a certain sense of comfort with you during a really uncomfortable time in my life. you were there for me when no one else was and i loved you for it. you took me to another place, a place where none of my problems found me, a place where i could relax and be free, if only for a few hours. i felt good again and i knew it was because of you. the happiness i got from you blinded me. you became more and more important to me...you started to take over my whole being...and i didn't mind one bit.

i thought it was heaven, that you were my little slice of heaven. my friends hated you, my family hated you even more, but i didn't care. we had something special, they just didn't understand it. i was determined to prove to them that you & i were good together, that despite their warnings, we were gonna make it last.

and that's when it all started to fall apart. i started losing myself. i started to lose control and i was spinning faster and faster. i lost those friends. i lost my family. i lost so much because of you and my blind devotion. what amazes me is that you were stealing everything right out from under me and i was none the wiser, or at least i didn't care that you were. i loved you and nothing else mattered.

you treated me like shit and i didn't care. i'm a hopeless romantic...my eyes couldn't see past your sweetness, the good times, the memories. you took it all, my car, my money, my family, my dignity, my self-respect, my ambition, my inspiration...hell, i even lost a week of my life because of you. you made me an angry person, an insecure person, a person who doesn't deserved to be loved. instead of building me up, you started to break me down. i became empty, a shell of the person i used to be. i resent you for that, i really do. at this point, i don't even know who i am.

jose, you were my first. i really thought we had something here. but we both knew it wouldn't last. i'm sorry but just don't date mexicans.
don, you are one high-class dude...a cut above the rest, i won't lie. we met in rosarito that summer and it was love at first sight. but all summer romances die and so must ours.
jack...jackie, you were one rough dude. but everyone knows a girl loves her a bad boy. it was a short romance with us, filled with extreme ups and downs...but we did have some fantastic sex, didn't we? baby, i need more than just some dirty sex. what we had wasn't love.
cappy...oh captain, my captain, what is there to say about you? you are fantastic in bed. you have this spicy sweetness to you that drives me insane. i'm like a moth to a flame. we've had some crazy times and i have fallen the hardest for you. but to be honest, i think you may be trying to kill me. you have consumed my being and it's time i break away. it's time to clean house and unfortunately, you didn't make the cut.

you see boys, there's a new sheriff in town and he doesn't like me fraternizing with other guys when he's around. that's right, i've moved on. i don't need you anymore. i found someone that has shown me the light. we've been seeing each other for a while now and he's become quite special. he makes me a better person, he makes me wanna be that better person. he pushed me away because of you and i now realize what i'm losing. i'm losing the one. you made me lose him and i want him back, even if that means giving you up. and for the first time in a long time, i feel like it's worth giving you up. it's time. i feel like i can do it, that i can make it without you. he gives me the courage to fight...he showed me that i'm worth fighting for. by pushing me away he's saving my life, just like any good superhero does. his strength gives me strength...and i think i love him. you may see clark kent, but i see superman.

i know you're gonna haunt me for a long time to come. i know that you will remind me of the good times, of the days when you were the only one around. but i need to remind you that you've ruined everything in my life at one point or another. i can't let you do that anymore. i can only hope it gets easier with each passing day. but that's how i'm going to deal with losing you, one day at a time. i'm so addicted to you, i honestly don't know how i'm gonna cope. i'm really scared to be without you but if i don't leave you now, i don't think i'll survive. and i wanna see how this whole life of mine turns out...so goodbye, my lovers. you shan't be missed.

Currently listening : Kiss & Say Goodbye By John Holt Release date: 2001-06-12

11:20 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

instant replay in BASEBALL???
Current mood: angry

dude.


i know it's needed in some circumstances, but i don't think this incredibly slow ass game needs it. it's gonna make some of the coolest shit disappear. i love when they're wrong in my favor. i don't need the game slowed down because someone thinks he's safe when he is or isn't. it's one on one, in essence, so why can't we depend on a referee's eyes? now we gotta big brother the whole thing.


i so hate change. and now baseball will be a bunch of floppin' bitches, just like basketball.


thank god it's football season.

Currently listening : Talkin' Baseball By Terry Cashman Release date: 2006-07-11

11:20 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

thank god i bought this cowboy hat!
Current mood: scared

holy cow.  i just got off the phone with my brother.  right now he's in mississippi on a business trip.  he left on tuesday and will be there for a week.  apparently, his company sent him to "save the business"...they even want him to go back every 6 months or something.  but after what i heard tonight, i hope he makes it out at all.

my brother sells furniture to furniture companies and from what i hear, he does a pretty decent job at it.  see, he's arrogant as fuck and quite a fast talker that can bluff his ass off with anything.  

so, what's the problem?

apparently, mississippi doesn't take kindly to mexicans.  the following is just gonna be a rundown of incredible shit that has happened to him thus far.  and in case he doesn't make it out, it'll document his torture. now, i don't know the order these took place in or a time table for anything so unfortunately, it's just gotta be this way, but i've done my best to make sense of it.  enjoy?

1.  he went into some bar for a beer and noticed that he seemed to be the only mexican he had seen as of yet.  wanted to get a feel of the locals, so he asked the bartender...
bro: so...how many mexicans have come thru here?
bar: you're the first one i've seen actually.
bro: oh yeah?  that's crazy.  so, what's your experience so far?
bar: i think you should be enslaved.

(me:holy. k. thanks. can i get a beer?)

bro: can i get a samuel adams on tap?
bar (after a minute): have you made up your mind?
bro: um, yeah. can i get a beer?
bar: what kind?
bro: a samuel adams.
bar: bottle or from the tap?
bro: from the tap

this happens to him on numerous occasions.  everyone hired to serve makes him repeat himself.  this would have already driven me to the brink.  i have no idea how i would've reacted being treated this way.  i hate repeating myself.

2.  he checks into his hotel room and calls for a wake-up call.  the next day, he woke up on his own, totally late.  no wake up call.

3.  he calls down for a shuttle to the convention center.
bro: can i get a shuttle to the convention center?
desk: sure, it'll take 20 minutes.
bro: it's gonna take 20 minutes to get a shuttle? okay, can you get one for me?  i'll be down soon.
desk: you need to come down.
bro: i need to come down to the front desk to get a shuttle?
desk: yes.

my brother has to go down to the lobby to order a shuttle, even though there is a card in his room saying that you can call down for a shuttle.  and he has to wait 20 minutes IN THE LOBBY, waiting for it.

4. upon leaving, he leaves a note for housekeeping:

please leave the a/c on.  thank you.

when he got back to his room at the end of the day, his room is BOILING and the heater is on...set to like 90 degrees!  and he finds a note left by the housekeeping staff:

fuck you, mexican.

oh, i forgot to mention this little tidbit...he's in the john adams presidential suite...jacuzzi two steps from his bed and everything.  he hasn't even been there 2 DAYS and news that a mexican has spread thru the staff like wildfire.  needless to say, he has all locks on the door and the do not disturb sign out.  

my god...this is crazy freaky.  i hope he makes it thru the week...stay tuned.

Currently listening : Mississippi Blues By Various Artists Release date: 2002-02-12

11:20 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

it’s CONVERSE, you dumb mu’fucker!!!
Current mood: pleased

NOT conversate!

seriously...i know i'm a word whore, but this shit is ridiculous.  it literally makes me skin crawl and makes me want to pimpslap a moron.  i know, right?  ME pimpslap a fool?  i'm a total lover, not a fighter.  but it's just that bad.  and apparently, this grammatic flub is swiffering the nation because EVERYONE seems to say it. 

look, fucktard...

you have a conversation.
you converse with someone.
the verb is to converse...not to conversate.
just because you have a conversation with someone, you don't just drop the -tion.

lucky for me, MTV decided to change this, in their own pathetic way.  today on the show, From Gs to Gents, the art of conversing in a proper manner is the main focus.  and wouldn't you know it, they clarified the word "to converse".  and OF COURSE, there was a dude that was knocked off his chair about it. 

"conversate.  i really thought that was a word.  i was about to go get a dictionary and say 'hold on, don't tell me i can't say CONVERSATE!'"

he's my favorite...i like to call him papi (for a couple reasons) and i hope he wins.  but i still cringed when i heard his reaction.
i know i watch this show, but i watch anything put in front of me.  and i haveta admit, watching "G's" change into "Gents" is quite entertaining because these kids are well...ghetto as fuck.  my thought is that its demographic is the same.  like my doper says...each one, teach one. 

hopefully, the proper way to conjugate to have a conversation into a verb will work out and i don't haveta cringe anymore.  thank you MTV...and thank you (the show's host) Farnsworth Bentley (that cat p.diddy made a common day slave holding his umbrella)...you have made the bunny's day.

NOW REMEMBER WHAT YOU LEARNED, BITCHES!!! 

Currently listening : Year of the Gentleman By Ne-Yo Release date: 2008-09-16

11:20 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

too live crew.
Current mood: amused

i know i shouldn't like reality tv, but i do.  i can't help it.  i watch all of them but my favorite one these days is Luke's Parental Advisory.  luther campbell from 2 live crew is a daddy and the show revolves around his "family life". 

this week's episode revolves around his boy's lack of mackadocious skill.  of course, luke can't believe this is his boy, so he gets a walkietalkie feed to his boy's earpiece and he can take him out to feed him nice lines to pick up the ladies.  he forces the lil one to go out and pick up chicks so he has numbers in his phone.  it was HIGHlarious.  i thought he was disgusting when i was growing up but he is awesome in real life.
well, this statement really summed up the this week's show for me. 

luther jr wears the earpiece & says in the confessional:
how am i supposed to pick up chicks with a fanny pack and a hearing aid?

never woulda thought i'd actually love luther cambell, but i do.  it totally worked.  boy turned mad pimpdaddy.  gets numbers and pops tells mama when they get home:

get that boy some tony the tiger cereal.  he can look at the tiger and (rawr rawr)

so awesome.  i love this shit.  how can i not?

Currently listening : As Nasty as They Wanna Be By 2 Live Crew Release date: 1996-06-10

3:04 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

blahzayblah.
Current mood: confident

you make fun of me for saying it but p. diddy says it too.  so it's cool...right?!?!

damnit.  okay...keep makin fun of me.  but i got it from doper, I SWEAR!!!

Currently listening : Impeccable Blahs By Say Hi to Your Mom Release date: 2006-07-25

6:04 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

my death row meal consists of lots of pizzapie.
Current mood: satisfied

dear domino's pizza,
i'm sorry but you have wronged me for the last time. i shall no longer be needing your services. i just can't trust you anymore.  your pizza is always showin up cold and you never have parmesan cheese.

goodbye forever,
a former domino's pizza delivery girl.


dear round table pizza,
thank you for coming thru in the clinch. football season is gonna rock all possible socks.  thank you for the maui zaui pizza...and for burning the tips on the pepperoni like i like it...and for having that fantastic free appetizer every time i order. your parmesan twists are the shizzy.

pizza is my life and you are the new god,
your newest loyal customer.

Currently listening : Soy una Pizza By Charlotte Diamond Release date: 1994-09-15

11:20 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

the answer to a dutch oven?

a good ninja dusting. oh boy.hooray! i now have the ultimate defense against his goddamn dutch oven...
thank you to whoever wrote that blog i stumbled onto. he'll never see me comin'. *squeals of glee*

watch out, bro...i'm gunnin' fo ya. muahahahahaha...(twists imaginary handlebar moustache)

Currently listening : Dutch Ovens By Goober Patrol Release date: 2006-08-01

11:20 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

does love exist? it’s doubtful.
Current mood: confused

i'm in love with a boy that will never have me because he shares my same views about love...it doesn't last.  and i don't believe in love because i have yet to find one that doesn't get thwarted by some unforseen circumstance. 

the thing is...this boy is perfection at its finest.  he's incredibly smart, he's ridiculously funny, he's devastatingly handsome, he's just precious to me in every way.  he is seriously the yin to my yang.  we've gotten along from the jump and after over a year, i couldn't pick a better bestie.  i need him more than i ever i thought...and that scares me to death.

problem is, we don't believe in "love".  it always seems to fuck itself up and becoming a couple would just lead to our demise...this i know.  we are free to do what (and who) we want when we want...it's the greatest.

thing is...he isn't just some schmuck.  he isn't just some boy.  he is THE BOY.  he is exactly what i've been waiting for all my life.  the gooch is, i'm not...and honestly, it kills me.  how can he be perfect for me and me not perfect for him?  i don't get it. 

why am i not special enough for him?  why does he always look for the next best thing?  why am i not enough?  what am i doing wrong?

i've never been the girl of choice for the boys.  for some reason they picked the other more girlygirl chicks...and that's fine...but i know i've aged like fine wine while others have aged in their own crappy stew.  and i'm way cooler...i let you watch sports because frankly, i wanna watch them too!  i cook, i pretend to clean, i suck, i fuck, i let you watch sports (unless it's hockey), i listen and i keep my mouth *kinda* shut.

what i want in return is kisses on my forehead, a cute nickname, snuggles in bed whenever possible, pizza on my birthday, and a certain look in your eye that makes me feel special.

i've found such a boy and he's fulfilled everything i want and need.  problem is, we don't believe in taking anything to "the next level".  but i love him desperately.  do i just try to forget about this?  so...how do forget about this bullshit i hear in my heart? 

in my head, this is all i hear: get out.  he won't love you back.  he will only ditch you for the next best thing...

damnit love. damnit you.  and to you, boy that may not read this...by the bye...i truly lovelovelove you, so love me back already!?!

Currently listening : Headed for a Heartbreak and Other Hits By Winger Release date: 2003-10-10

6:57 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment