Tree is coming to Seattle… THIS FUCKING WEEK! (Holy crap)
Since it looks like I have been nominated as Your Director of Activities, I figured that I would post a tentative schedule here so that any Seattle local (or others) who wants to join can plan accordingly.
Thursday- Morning: Arrive at Seattle Airport (11:52 AM) Afternoon: Settle in Evening: ??? Touristy stuff, sightseeing, etc. Anyone wanna join?
Friday- Morning: More toursity stuff? Afternoon: Visitation: Reid's house! Make us dinner, Reid! Woo hoo! Evening: Blitzen Trapper at Chop Suey
Saturday- Morning: Visitation? Afternoon: Visitations? Evening: GENERAL GET TOGETHER @ People's Pub in Ballard
-Seriously, folks… If you can only attend one thing all month… FUCK CHRISTMAS. Come out this night!
Confidential to those with children: I know that childcare is difficult and expensive to obtain on a Saturday night. But remember: Super glue provides a quick drying and secure bond. It will adhere human skin to nearly anything, including wooden armrests, drywall, and cement. Also a pitch-black room will induce comfort and sleepiness much like throwing a blanket over a birdcage. But for your kids.
Sunday- Morning: Recovery and recuperation breakfast at some Seattle breakfast place? Afternoon & Evening: LADIES DAY WITH LISA!™ -Lisa gets Serena all to herself for unspeakable feminine things. (Read: WoW day for me! Time to get the shakes off! Woot!)
Monday- Morning: (After I hit level 80, of course) Visitations? Road trip? Who knows? Afternoon: Open Evening: Open
Tuesday- Morning: Open Afternoon: Open Evening: Leave from Seattle Airport (10:25 PM)
All of these plans are tentative. There is nothing I hate more on a vacation than a strict schedule, so I refuse to do such a thing to Tree. There is also an intentionally LARGE chunk of open time. This is so we can just do whatever happens to strike our fancy at the time.
Do you want to strike our fancy? Do you have a house for visitation purposes? Are you a non-Seattleite who wants to/will be in town for the weekend at the same time and want to correlate? Have I forgotten a totally necessary activity and you want me to add it to the schedule?
Well… gimme a call! 208-305-1620
There. I've just put my phone number on the internet. This should end well. Keep in mind that I do not answer phone calls from unrecognized numbers, so if you have never called me before… leave a message. Better yet… start with a text message, and remember to let me know who you are in the text of the text. Other than that… we'll "blow my cell phone up" as a coordination mechanism.
So funny, in fact, that I decided to share it with Dr. Howie. This spawned a conversation that I (at his urging) decided to share with everyone.
Warning: There will be oblique descriptions of masturbatory habits, rubber vaginas, and horrible spiders. (Our conversations can get interesting) You have been warned.
=========================================== Cosmo Eisele to bryan 11:54 PM (11 hours ago)
http://www.spike.com/video/pg-porn-pg-porn/3041858 - Show quoted text -
-- Main Entry: de·feat·ism Pronunciation: di-'fE-"ti-z&m, dE- Function: noun : acceptance or expectation of or resignation to defeat - de·feat·ist /-tist/ See also: Cosmo
================================================== bryan howie to me show details 9:46 AM (2 hours ago)
I love that guy. And that girl. By the way, she is a real porno actress and she's good --
"If you don't care for obscenity, you don't care for the truth" - Tim O'Brien
============================================ Cosmo Eisele to bryan show details 10:19 AM (1 hour ago)
What, exactly, makes a porno actress "good"?
I mean.. it's not acting, obviously. Is it hotness? Because I find that most pornstars kinda look the same. Or, at least, variations on a small number of separate themes.
Is it some timbre in her faked orgasmic moans? A false patina of reality? Is it some idealized configuration of the anatomy? Of her genitals' anatomy? I really don't get it.
Perhaps it's because I don't like professional porn. I have never really found the professional pornlets to be all that attractive, beyond a very short term carnal sense. But they don't "get me started" as it were. I have to be "in the moment" form some other source, and then professional pron will work for me. But only until I'm done.
I'm lucky, I guess, to have been born into this era of vast quantities of amateur pornography, because the silicone sheen of the plastic pornstar is something I've always found to be kind of monstrous.
But, I suppose if you're into that sort of thing...
-cos
PS--sorry 'bout that. Idle thoughts begat further idle thoughts and I figured I would just go with it. (Signatures elided from here on out)
====================================== bryan howie to me show details 10:32 AM (1 hour ago)
Wow, that was a really 'too cool for school' little rant you had going there. Way to break down sex into mechanical pieces. The false patina of reality? As if there is any other. Idealized configuration of the anatomy? Genital anatomy? Come on, fuckface. Relax.
The bitch does a bunch of fetish photos. That's why she's awesome. Her videos are mostly softcore stuff (stripping in front of the camera - masturbating, ect). Also, she's seemingly smart (at least smart enough to go to college for biochemistry for a couple of years).
And don't get me started on a love for unglamorous porn. I'm the guy with a virtual doctoral thesis written about tubgirl. Remember what kind of sick fuck to whom you're talking! I like it all. You're kinda a porn snob.
Fuck dude. Relax and enjoy vagina. If you can't love vag, you can't love yourself.
That has so many different meanings.
love ya
======================================= Cosmo Eisele to bryan show details 11:05 AM (51 minutes ago)
Wow... I didn't really intend to sound THAT way. I apologize.
However, that's really how I feel about professional pornstars. I hate it when a woman is obviously faking an orgasm. I think obviously fake boobs are kinda gross. Bald, bleached pussies look like they're made of rubber. And there's always a slightly glossy sheen to the face and skin on women in pornos that makes them look like those people from those duracell commercials in the early 90's.
http://www.tvacres.com/images/putterman.jpg
But maybe that's just the bad lighting.
I'm not trying to sound like a priss, or someone who doesn't love pussy... And I'm *definitely* not trying to break sex down into a mechanical process. In fact, it's just the opposite. It's the breakdown of sex into a mechanical process that sours me towards professional pornography. I think I want my porno-sex to be more like real-life sex. Or at least how it would be if I were having any of it.
I guess, maybe, I want my false patina of reality to be more convincing. I want it to be more like I'm watching two poeple enjoy themselves (and each other) together, than watching some hairless dude poke his dick into a particularly shapely balloon with a moaning soundtrack. That, by the way, isn't even synched.
So there. YOU relax. :)
================================================== bryan howie to me show details 11:11 AM (47 minutes ago) [forcosmo.jpg]
A well thought out and non-flamewar response. Your time as a public officer of the guild and as a customer service specialist seems to have taught you to respond thoughtfully, respectfully, and with your best face forward. I'm truly impressed by your skills.
But, to respond, I'll have to resort to an ad hominem fallacy - a personal attack. Not on you, but on your feeble mind! TAKE THIS!
============================================
I have to admit: While I was reeling in terror, I realized that he had totally won the argument.
What I did last week - click the picture to see the full album
Here are the pictures from my vacation to Priest Lake last week. I'm too lazy to actually write a full blog, so you get this link to the Photobucket album. The guest password is "Cosmorules". Because I do.
I wanna see some funny photoshops of it, but I am at work and unable to do so myself. I, therefore, must appeal to you.
Let's see some funny 'shops!
(post as comments, I will try to check back frequently and approve them if necessary. I'm also pretty sure that I've turned the CAPTCHA off for the blog)
Armed with and one camera and two 32 oz bottles containing equal parts lemonade and vodka, I ventured forth to document the boobi... ART to be seen at the parade.
What follows (if I get my formatting correct) is a slideshow of some of the many, many pictures I took at the parade:
accomplished
electric
